AS THOUGHTS STRAY
by C.V. Puerro |
|
Thought is deeper than all speech, |
|
AS THOUGHTS STRAY
by C.V. Puerro |
|
Thought is deeper than all speech, |
|
JD held onto Vin as Vin held onto the banister for support. The two grown men — feeling a bit like wayward boys — muffled their laughter behind hands clamped over closed mouths in a vain attempt at silence as they stumbled up the stairs of the boarding house.It had been quite a week for their small group. A rash of stolen cattle had finally been put to an end when the leader and most of the rustlers had been apprehended. A bank robbery had been foiled. A kidnapping narrowly averted. A runaway stage-team corralled. And a stray calf was pulled safely from a sinkhole.
The boys would have considered that a busy month, but it had all taken place within the past ten days.
Needless to say, the seven men were more than ready to relax for a while in the saloon — and, luckily, fate was on their side. The town had been quiet all day and well into the wee hours of the night, allowing the men to really bend their elbows.
Vin and JD, normally the moderate ones of the bunch, had somehow managed to get quite tipsy between the whiskey shots and the beers. Chris had ridden off to his ranch at the first opportunity, the others knowing how the bustling town started to gnaw at the man after a spell. Buck, too, had left the saloon early, nursing a cold and not feeling up to much revelry. The others, however, were still in the bar playing cards when JD staggered out to relieve himself.
As he was returning, he met Vin on the boardwalk. Like Chris, crowds and the indoors got to the tracker after a while, and he'd come out for a bit of fresh air, to help clear the alcohol fumes from his mind, before heading off to his wagon.
But he and JD had got to talking, then giggling, and finally laughing. They hadn't much got on before this, never really having found a lot to talk about, until that one night, the last time they'd gotten drunk.
It had taken a while, but eventually all the memories had come back to the kid and now he cherished them. He really liked the quiet reassurance this man leant to the group. His calm decision-making. The fact that you could count on him, no matter what. JD's respect for the tracker had always been there, but recently those feelings had grown. He couldn't rightly say he loved Vin, but he certainly loved being with him.
So, on this night, like so many others since their first night together over a month ago, the two men sought some private refuge.
Once inside JD's room, the two quickly stripped out of their clothes. JD was happy that his knee had healed and he wasn't beholden to Vin to undress him anymore. Not that he had minded being undressed by the tracker, but sometimes, it was just easier — hell, faster — to do it yourself. And tonight, speed was definitely an issue. Both men knew they were drunk, and they knew what infrequent over-indulgence did to them. They had only so much time before fatigue over came them and their sleeping together would end up being merely that.
JD took a step closer to Vin, but the tracker halted him with a question. "Yer not gonna leave that dang hat on while we do it, are ya?"
JD had forgotten about his hat, but he chose not to admit that and answered with a smirk, "Maybe." He knew the man hated his hat — thought it prissy and eastern and not at all appropriate for this new life out west he was leading, but JD had grown attached and wouldn't part with it any more than he'd consider leaving this group of gunmen he felt such an integral part of.
"Not if I have anythin' ta do with it," Vin countered, lunging for the hat. But, JD sidestepped him, running around to the other side of the bed.
"Come 'ere, kid," Vin slurred the harsh whisper as he leaped onto the bed making another grab for his friend. Again, JD twisted away, now using the footboard as a fence between him and his pursuer.
Vin slid off the bed, chasing JD back around. The kid would have been cornered had he not clambered over the mattress, but the tracker was hot on his heels. Vin reached out just at the last moment and caught JD's hand. The kid stumbled as he jumped off the bed, nearly falling, but instead simply knocking into the room's lone wooden-chair that went clattering to the floor.
But Vin had won. He pinned JD against the wall and grinned. He bent in close, but did not kiss him. Instead he whispered, "Winner takes all." Vin grabbed the hat off JD's head and placed it on his own, as if it were a crown of laurels. He then put his hands on JD's shoulders and swapped positions with him.
"On yer knees, varmint," Vin ordered playfully and JD complied. Then, without being told, the kid took the man's firm cock deep into his mouth. Vin leaned back against the wall and smiled, obviously enjoying the attention.
Just then they heard, "What in tarnation is goin' on in here—" as the door swung wide to reveal Buck Wilmington.
JD's mouth gaped open in surprise, allowing Vin's cock to slip free as he turned to stare at the intruder. Vin dropped his hands from the kid's hair, then, as an afterthought, tore JD's hat off his head and covered up his exposed member.
Buck seemed to stand in the doorway for an eternity, his eyes wide and his brows furrowed with surprise and confusion. He then stuck his finger into the air, pointing, like he was about to ask a question, and his mouth opened, but no sound came. He then quickly turned and walked away, firmly closing the door behind him.
JD sat back on his bare butt. He was embarrassed at being caught naked with Vin, but he was more afraid of what Buck was now thinking.
The tracker finally slid down the wall, to sit across from JD, the kid's hat still covering his cock.
JD began to giggle.
He didn't want to. What had just happened was awful, horrible, possibly the worst thing that could happen. But he was still drunk and he couldn't help laughing at that dang hat on Vin's dick!
Vin began laughing, too. He stretched out his leg, between JD's thighs, and nudged the kid's balls with his toes. JD was surprised by the touch. He liked it. Of course he liked it, "But wha' 'bout Buck?"
Vin shook his head. "Let 'im go. He'll need time ta ponder an' ... we need time ta finish wha' we started," Vin slurred slightly as he crawled over JD, easing him back onto the floor.
Their lips met in a deep kiss. JD wanted to think about Buck. He wanted to figure out what he was going to tell his friend, if the man still was his friend, but the alcohol didn't seem to want him to care about anything right then and there except being with this incredible man who was now rubbing his cock up and down JD's belly.
"Vin?" the kid asked when the tracker had moved his lips from JD's mouth to his neck.
"Hmm?" the man mumbled, reluctant to say more.
But JD forgot his question as Vin's tongue tickled his neck. He began to giggle again and then moan.
He shuddered at the memory of the two naked men, JD's mouth wrapped around Vin's manhood. How could the kid do that??
As he walked up the street, he thought back over the months since they'd met, but he couldn't find one indication that JD was, well, so inclined. He hadn't ever been anything but a friend to Buck. Hell, he'd even been excited about going to Wickes Town! What in blue blazes had happened?
And Vin, well, Buck always had an odd feeling about him. Not that the man wasn't reliable and damn worthwhile to have beside you in a fight, but the way Vin looked at Chris.... Well, Buck was sure he'd noticed it that first time they'd met, when Chris was recruiting to help defend the Seminole village.
Then there was Chris. He'd known this man for, what? Fourteen years — since before he had met his wife — and never once had he known Chris to look that way at anyone except Sarah. Never. Not until Vin.
Buck mounted the stairs to the renovated church, finding it empty, with just a single lamp burning on a small table near the altar. He sat down in the first pew and placed his head in his hands.
He thought back to the events of a month ago — when Vin and JD were gone and Chris had been drinking so heavily. He'd figured out then that whatever connection Vin and Chris shared, they'd made it physical as well. Not that he'd thought about that aspect of it since.
It weren't none of his business, he'd told himself, but the plain fact was, he just wasn't comfortable picturing two men in the throws of passion. But, now, thanks to JD and Vin, he couldn't get the damn image out of his mind.
And what the hell was Vin doing with JD anyway, if he and Chris were supposed to be together?
Buck hadn't thought that part of it through. A month ago, he just thought JD had gotten caught up in something he didn't know the whole truth of — stopping Vin from leaving because of a spat he'd had with Chris. But, what if JD hadn't been an innocent bystander in all that? What if he'd been the cause of the quarrel?
Buck groaned at the path his mind was racing down.
Then a low, gentle voice touched his ears. "Something I can help with, Buck?"
The man turned to see the preacher standing in the aisle next to him. Maybe he could help, Buck thought; maybe that's why he'd ended up at the church when he'd had no idea where he was going. He nodded.
But, he flinched away when Josiah put a tender hand on his shoulder. Then he realized how stupid he was acting. Just because Chris and Vin and JD were, well ... didn't mean every man in the world had turned in that direction.
He knew he hadn't. And he was pretty sure Josiah hadn't either. The preacher sat down on the pew, several feet away from Buck, obviously sensing the man's discomfort. Then he waited, quietly.
Finally, Buck allowed himself to speak. "Josiah, what would ya do if ya walked in on two people, ah, bein' intimate?"
To his credit, Buck thought, the man did not laugh at the question. "Turn around, shut the door, and forget I saw anything," came the preacher's logical response.
"But I kin't forget it. I want to. Ya have no idea how much I want to!" He shook his head, wanting to bury it in his hands again, but instead he just stared down at them.
Josiah reached out again, but withdrew his hand before he made contact. "Two people showing their mutual affections for one another can be a beautiful thing, Buck," the preacher finally said. "I know you've been in the throes yourself — many times, if your word is to be believed — so you'll have to forgive me if I just don't understand why this is so disturbing for you."
Buck was silent for a while, trying to form his thoughts. Flashes of Vin's pleasure-filled features beneath JD's bowler hat kept coming to mind. The two men, naked. JD's innocent face, with the other man's cock filling his mouth. He couldn't help but shudder.
"But it weren't two strangers. I knew 'em." Buck glanced briefly up at the preacher and found the man was waiting to hear more. "Friends of mine.... Men."
Josiah nodded. "Love, like life, Buck, is complicated. I firmly believe it ain't our place to judge, lest we be judged, and, for that reason if no other, we need to be tolerant."
Now it was Buck's turn to nod his head. He understood. He just didn't know if he was capable of it anymore. Could he ever look those two men in their faces again and not see what he had seen this night?
"I'm not saying it's an easy thing, Buck. Tolerance is a new hurtle each time we encounter something which goes against what we've come to believe. There are many religions in this world, brother, and they all struggle with this very thing. But, ain't no one seems to have all the answers. Not how to be tolerant of everyone and all they do, nor what is the one right and true path."
"So, if they kin't figure it all out, how am I supposed ta?"
"Listen to your heart, brother Buck. God gave it to us to help us along these difficult paths."
Buck nodded, but he still wasn't sure he'd be able to do what Josiah had suggested. Though, he supposed he'd have to try.
He wandered outside again. Thinking a nice, long ride might clear his head, but before he reached the street, he began to cough. Heavily. The harsh spasms took all the wind from him as well as his strength and he was forced to sit on the bottom step at the base of the church.
Across the way, Nathan poked his head out of the door to his room, which also served as his clinic. He came to the railing and saw Buck sitting, coughing. Immediately he headed down the stairs and across the street to the man's assistance.
"Buck, what're ya doin' out in the cold without yer jacket? Ya tryin' ta kill yerself?"
Buck shook his head, just trying to concentrate on breathing now that the spasms had eased. "I was—" but as soon as he spoke, the coughing resumed.
"That cough of yers is definitely gettin' worse. Ya need ta come upstairs and I'll see what I kin do fer ya."
Buck allowed the man to help him to his feet — and even let Nathan loan him his coat — then they walked slowly across the street and up the stairs to the healer's room. Nathan made Buck lie down on the bed, then he moved over to his work table where he kept his herbs, salves, and all the books on medicine he had gathered.
Buck stared at the boards of the ceiling while he waited. Tolerance, he kept repeating to himself while the images of JD and Vin — naked, touching — cycled through his head. Tolerance.
But then he began to wonder. Whatever had caused Chris to go on his bender and Vin to just up and leave town seemed to be resolved between the two men, but what if JD had been the center of their controversy?
What if Chris had found out about Vin and JD — that would explain so much, Buck thought. Buck knew Chris better than anyone, and he knew that the man had never cottoned to Sarah being looked at that way by other men. Did the man feel the same way about Vin? If so, if that's what set him off in the first place, that had to mean that Vin was sneaking around with JD, behind Chris's back.
"Great," Buck groaned, but then began to cough again.
Nathan came over immediately. He had a bowl full of thick, dark-yellow salve in his one hand. "Take off yer shirt, Buck," he instructed. Buck didn't wanna do it. He still felt strange after having seen Vin and JD. But Nathan was insistent so he finally complied.
The healer gently rubbed the smelly goop all over Buck's chest as he told him, "You'll have to stay here tonight. I don't like how that cough sounds and if it gets worse, I wanna know about it so I kin tend ta it right away."
Buck didn't like this either. Sleeping in Nathan's bed. Even though the healer would sleep in his chair, or throw a bedroll onto the floor. It just felt odd. Damn, Buck swore in his head, was everything going to be strange from now on?
"Buck, I know yer chest hurts from coughin', but what's really botherin' ya? What were ya doin' out so late?"
Buck didn't want to tell him. Why burden this man? It was bad enough he'd said anything to Josiah about the matter. He'd learned his lesson after telling the group about how Chris had lost Sarah, or, at least, he thought he had. Still, was the group the worse for knowing what had eaten away Chris's soul? Sometimes it was better to know these things before you had to fight alongside a man.
But wasn't this different?
He didn't know anymore. All he knew was that his best friend was doing deeds with another man — another man who was in all likelihood doing those same sorts of deeds with his oldest friend.
It was all too much to think about. Buck rested his head back on the pillow, closed his eyes tight and desperately tried to forget this night had ever happened.
But he couldn't.
Finally, he asked Nathan, "What would ya think of two men bein' together?"
Nathan just stared at him for a moment, and Buck couldn't tell if the question had surprised him or not. Then Nathan said something very quietly and Buck couldn't quite hear him. The healer bent closer to whisper, "I think about it all the time," and then he kissed Buck on the cheek.
Buck shot up out of bed with a start! Only then did he realize that he'd been dreaming. Nathan was across the room, seated in his chair, his arms crossed on the table and his head resting on top of them.
Buck took a few deep breaths to clear his head of the nightmare, but as soon as he did, he began coughing again. This roused the healer, who immediately asked, "What are ya doin' outta bed?"
The man crawled back under the bed covers, waving off Nathan's assistance. It was going to be a long night.
The kid ran an idle hand through the tracker's light brown hair, noting how the strands curled slightly, unlike his own hair, which was nearly as long, but bone straight and just a shade shy of black.
He wondered what Chris really thought of all this. He hadn't asked Vin about the other man after that one time — and all the tracker had said in reply was, Chris knows and he's okay with it. Still, it seemed an unlikely thing that Chris would want to share this man with anyone.
They hadn't had much time to be together in the past month — not since their weeklong stay in Cutter's Creek — but the pair had made the most of the time they did have. They had a lot of energy between them, and it had almost become a game to see who could tire the other out first. JD couldn't remember sweating this much when he'd had to haul bales of hay and shovel stalls from morning till night. Of course, this was much more fun, he reminded himself, smiling.
Vin moved slightly, grinding his butt up against JD's pelvis and the kid could feel himself hardening again inside the man. JD grasped Vin's hips and slowly began thrusting in and out — their previous coupling apparently having produced enough jism so that another application of oil was unnecessary.
JD reached over the man's hip to find his cock, then giving the member a gentle squeeze before running his hand up and down the firm surface. The kid whispered in his ear, "Ya sure yer up fer this?" The tracker nodded and the kid knew Vin was smiling though he couldn't see his face. "This'll be the third time. Don't know if there's anythin' left in me," JD said, almost complaining.
"Oh, there'll be enough," Vin assured him, beginning to thrust his own hips in time with his partner's, causing the kid's cock to penetrate even deeper as Vin's own shaft moved inside JD's encircling hand.
JD felt it coming on fast this time — the tensing, the building of pressure — but he tried to hold back, having learned that it was more difficult to make Vin come once he stopped thrusting inside of the man.
But it was more than he could handle. JD felt the spasms begin before he could do anything to delay them. His hips thrust deep and quick into Vin, as if beyond his control. The kid opened his mouth, feeling his voice build inside his throat just as he was feeling his seed building up pressure in his loins.
A moment before JD cried out with release, Vin moaned deeply as his own jism spewed forth, partially coating the inside of the kid's hand, which was still wrapped around the tracker's shaft. But JD's mind was suddenly ripped away from thoughts of pleasuring Vin as his own orgasm exploded. It was incredibly intense, concentrated right at the base of his cock, and then dissipating quickly as the sensations raced over his body.
JD threaded his arms beneath the other man's, hugging away the last of the tension which had just moments ago consumed him. He slowly ran his fingers over the man's belly, idly tracing the outlines of the sinewy muscles. When his breathing began to slow and he felt his eyelids grow heavy, he pressed his lips against Vin's back, kissing him between the shoulder blades, tasting the salt of his sweat.
"I love this," he murmured against the other man's skin.
Vin softly replied, "I love you, too."
He tried to sit up, but his whole body seemed to ache and it just didn't seem worth the effort.
"Just lay still, Buck," Nathan's voice finally touched his ears. "Ya come down with a fever late last night, so ya need yer rest."
"Fever?" Buck tried to remember, but couldn't. All he did remember was JD and Vin. He wished he could blame that on his fever, but he remembered too clearly storming from their room and, later, talking to Josiah before Nathan had brought him upstairs.
The healer was nodding at him. "But it's broke, so don't ya worry. You'll be better soon."
"I don't remember bein' that sick, Nathan. Guess a fever'd do that to a man?" he asked.
"Yeah, sure could. Though yer fever weren't too high. Still, ya were mumblin' and thrashin' a bit in yer sleep, so ya musta been fairly uncomfortable."
"Mumblin'? Could ya make out any words?" Buck was suddenly afraid of what he might have said. Men often told secrets when they were asleep, or ill, which they otherwise would have taken to the grave.
Nathan shook his head. "Not many. Sounded like ya was worried 'bout JD, though — kept sayin' stuff like, 'Git away from there' and 'Don't ya lay a hand on him.'"
Buck frowned and Nathan must have taken it as concern because he said, "Don't worry, though. They were just dreams. Don't mean nothin'. JD's fine. He come by this mornin' lookin' fer ya, but I told him ta come back when ya was awake."
Now, Buck thought he must look very worried, because he certainly felt that way. He didn't think he was ready to face JD after what he'd seen last night — and as much as he wanted it to be a dream, a fevered hallucination, he knew in his gut it hadn't been.
Nathan then brought over a warm cup of tea for his patient, setting it down on the side table. "Don't ya fret none, Buck. Ya just git some rest and I'm gonna see 'bout fetchin' ya some soup."
Buck nodded as the healer swung into his coat, then slipped quietly out the door. The man then lay back in the bed, settling himself deep into the pillow and pulling the covers up under his chin, like he used to do when he was a boy. He felt secure right then, but he knew it wouldn't last. It never did.
Moments later, a soft knock came at the door and Buck's heart nearly leaped into his throat. He didn't know who it might be, but he knew who he didn't want it to be. He kept quiet, hoping the visitor, thinking him still asleep, would go away.
But such was not the case. Slowly the door opened, and the warm, mid-morning light silhouetted a dark figure. The man stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.
Buck's eyes quickly readjusted again to the dim light inside the room as Chris Larabee pulled a chair up beside the bed. "Buck."
"Chris."
"Feeling better?"
"Some." And, ironically, that would have been his answer had the fever and lung congestion been completely gone for days. There was still a bruise on his heart that he didn't know would ever heal.
The two men sat in silence for a little while. Buck still burrowed in under the bed covers and Chris now leaning back in the chair, looking like he'd rather be outside smoking a cheroot.
But it wasn't long before Buck couldn't stand staring at the man anymore. It was too painful. He still couldn't abide the thought of JD and Vin together, but it made his stomach churn to think that maybe Chris wasn't okay with it either. He had to know Chris's feelings on the matter.
"Chris? I didn't ask before 'cuz I didn't think it was my business, but I'm askin' now, and I hope you'll tell me." Buck hesitated, trying to word this delicate question just right. God, but he hated that he might be the bearer of bad news, to anyone, but especially to his friend who'd already suffered enough bad news for two lifetimes.
The gunman sat forward in his chair, but said nothing, waiting for his friend to continued. "Chris ... what's really 'tween you and Vin?"
Chris sat silent for a long time, staring down at his clasped hands. Then he took in a slow, deep breath. "Never thought I'd say it. Not until I met Sarah. Then, I never thought I'd say it again." Chris finally looked up and met the other man's eyes. "I think I love him."
Buck's blue eyes clouded over with tears. He knew how much Chris loved Sarah — like no man ever loved a woman, as far as Buck had ever experienced — so it was something that this man would not only compare those two people, but would now put them on the same pedestal.
Buck knew Sarah. He had considered her his friend. She loved Chris as much as he loved her, and she never would have done anything to hurt him. But, Buck couldn't say the same about Vin. Not after catching him with JD last night.
He just didn't know how to tell Chris.
"Ya know I'm yer friend," he began and the man nodded, leaning back in his chair again. "And I want ya ta be happy—" but before he could finish, the door of the clinic swung open and Nathan stepped inside caring a cloth-covered bowl on a small tray.
"Okay, Chris. Best leave so Buck kin eat this here soup and git some more rest," the healer requested of their leader.
Chris nodded his head as he rose. He placed a firm hand on Buck's shoulder, giving him a small squeeze. "I'll be by later, pard."
Buck sighed heavily. He didn't know where he'd find the courage and the words a second time to tell his oldest friend what he felt needed telling.
"You look troubled there, son. Surely you aren't worried that I may lose to myself at this game," the southerner joked, but JD didn't laugh.
"What would ya do, Erza, if ... a girl told ya she loved ya?"
Ezra raised his dark eyebrows at the lad, obviously wondering what had prompted this inquiry. "If it was me, son, I'd be tryin' ta figure out what her angle was."
"Not everyone is out ta con ya, Ezra," the kid said innocently.
"Believe what you will, dear boy. Shall we presume then that you are asking me what I would do were I in your shoes?" the gambler amended JD's question and the kid nodded. "Suppose I'd believe the girl. Unless you could think of a reason for her to be insincere."
JD thought for a moment, and then shook his head. He couldn't think of a single reason Vin had for lying about such a thing.
"So, if the girl is in earnest, young man, why the long face?"
JD shrugged. He wished he hadn't brought it up. Knowing one thing in your head was entirely different from having the fact confirmed by an outside source. Vin loved him. But, how did he feel about Vin?
"Well, what if ya weren't sure ya loved ... her back?"
"Ah, and now we reach the real question. Well, son, while I am an expert in many things, true love has never been my forte. Perhaps you should be making your inquiries with Mr. Wilmington?"
But JD just shook his head. No way could he talk about this with Buck. Hell, he didn't even know if he could face the man after last night! Though, he'd gotten enough courage up this morning to at least try, only to have Nathan turn him away once he'd found out Buck was laid up at the clinic. The healer had told him to come back later, after breakfast when Buck was awake. JD knew he had to say something to his friend, try to explain what was going on. He just didn't know how.
"All right, then. One of our other compatriots? Mr. Sanchez, perhaps? For a spiritual man, he certainly seems to have accumulated a wide body of knowledge beyond the pulpit."
But JD was already regretting mentioning this to Ezra. He didn't know if he should be talking to any more of his friends about this.
"Well, son, maybe you just need some time to think things through, figure out the true nature of your own feelings in this matter."
JD nodded. "Yeah. I'm gonna go do that," the kid said before downing the last swallow of milk then heading out of the saloon.
He made his way down the boardwalk towards the livery — a nice ride would clear his head, and he wasn't due for his shift patrolling the town until noon. As the kid walked, though, he hung his head in thought. Why couldn't any of this be simple?
"Mornin' JD," he heard as he neared the sheriff's office. The kid looked up. Chris was standing just outside the door, with his hand on the knob ready to enter.
"Mornin'," was all JD could manage. Then he noticed something odd. Despite being dressed all in black, the normally somber man seemed to be smiling. JD furrowed his brows at the odd sight, but didn't stop to chat. The man never wanted to talk about what upset him, so it was unlikely he'd want to talk about what pleased him — not that JD had any room in his head for either at the moment. No, it was too full with three little words.
Another tap came, and then the door eased slowly open. The first thing Buck saw was a round, bowler hat peek around the edge of the door and he groaned to himself. That damn hat would now haunt him to his grave, he was certain. He closed his eyes, but that only brought the flash of Vin wearing the dang thing over his privates.
His eyes came immediately open again and he found JD standing next to his bed. The kid looked contrite, like he'd come to confess, or apologize, or both.
"Sit down, kid," he said, gesturing to the chair Chris had occupied earlier, but JD didn't move. He simply continued to stare down at Buck, which made the ill man very uncomfortable. "So, kid, I'm fine, if yer wonderin'. Thanks fer comin' by," he continued, in an effort to delay the conversation he knew they would have to eventually have.
But JD did not move. He just kept staring down at Buck, with that damn bowler hat on his head.
Buck began to get twitchy, pulling the covers a little closer about himself, but still the kid just stared.
"All right then. Fine. If yer not gonna say anythin', I will. What in hell were you two doin' last night?!" he finally blurted out, but then held up a hand to stop the kid from responding. He really didn't want to know what they were doing. There was only one thing he really needed to know. "Why were you and Vin doin' that?"
The kid continued to stare, silently, but then finally shook his head. "Don't know." Then the kid sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his hand over Buck's bare shoulder. "'Cuz it's you I really want."
"No!!" Buck said firmly, then pushed himself away from the kid and out of bed where he landed with a dull thud.
In an instant Nathan was beside him. "Buck?"
The ill man looked around the room, but JD was nowhere to be found. It was only him and the healer. What the hell was happening to him? Buck wondered as he continued to sit on the floor, breathing heavily from the dream that had seemed so real.
Then he looked up at Nathan and saw the deep worry lining the man's face. He allowed the healer to help him back into bed. Nathan then felt his forehead for a temperature. "Ya ain't got no fever, Buck. What were ya dreamin' 'bout?"
But Buck refused to tell the man. He could only imagine how much worse it would be to give voice to these suspicions, these feelings, again — at least before he had a chance to talk with Chris, to find out what was really going on beneath all their noses.
"Lookin' fer JD. Thought he might like ta go fer a ride," she smiled innocently, but Vin wondered; he knew those two had done the deed once, and the kid had told him they'd agreed not to do it again, but Vin knew all too well what a hard vow that was to keep, especially around JD.
Just at that moment, though, JD came trotting around the corner. He stopped his horse in its tracks when he saw the two standing beside Vin's wagon, a look of surprise painted across his face. But then the kid smiled and coaxed his horse slowly forward to join them.
"Mornin'," he greeted them both.
Vin just nodded, but Casey beamed. "Hi, JD. I, ah, thought ya might like ta go fer a ride today, do some fishin'."
JD sighed slightly. "Gee, I'd sure like ta Casey, but I've got patrol duty in just a little while...."
The smile fell instantly from Casey's face, and it just broke Vin's heart. If JD really wanted to go riding with the girl, he certainly wasn't going to be the thing that stopped them. "Kid, I kin take yer patrol." And when JD hesitated, Vin added, "Go on. I don't mind, really."
And who was he to mind? Even if the JD and Casey did end up doing something, it wasn't like the kid was his property. Besides, if he was going to go off and sleep with Chris, then the kid had a right to sleep with whomever he wanted to as well.
JD finally smiled and thanked Vin. As the tracker watched them go, though, he felt a small tugging in his chest. He was glad those two were friends again, but maybe, he thought, he'd be gladder if they just left it at that.
Vin then grabbed his jacket from the wagon and headed up the street to the sheriff's office to stock up on bullets in preparation for patrol. He expected it would be a quiet day, at least he hoped it would be. The town certainly seemed to be quiet, which was almost an odd thing considering how much it had grown since the seven men had been hired on. Still, he was grateful for the peace, however long it lasted.
Inside the sheriff's office, he was surprised to find Chris sitting behind the desk. "Howdy, pard. Whatcha up to?"
"Vin," he replied, waving a stack of wanted posters at the man. The tracker just nodded. "Didn't expect to see you in here today."
"I'm fillin' in fer JD," he explained as he crossed to the cabinet that held their extra rifles and began stocking up on bullets for his mare's leg side-arm.
"Why isn't JD making his patrol," the group leader asked, setting aside the posters.
"Him and Casey are off gallivantin'," Vin said and Chris raised his eyebrows in curiosity.
He then got up from the desk and joined the tracker at the firearms cabinet. He leaned in close and whispered in the other man's ear, "And you don't mind?"
Vin grinned. "Be sorta hypocritical if I did."
"So," Chris continued, just inches away from actually making physical contact with the other man. "You don't mind him touching Casey?" he asked quietly, as he reached out and ran a finger down the tracker's arm. Vin shook his head. "And you don't mind him tasting her," he said as he leaned close enough to flick his tongue over the outside edge of Vin's ear.
Again, Vin shook his head. And he tried not to moan. What the kid had in stamina, this man had in talent — an abundance. And he was suddenly regretting his kind offer to take JD's patrol. He could feel his cock hardening in his pants and he knew that there wouldn't be time enough before his shift to do anything about it.
"And you don't mind him doing this to the girl?" he asked as he grabbed Vin by the coat and spun him around the corner before planting a deep kiss on his lips. They were now in the short, dark hallway that led to the bolted alley door, completely out of view of any of the jailhouse windows. And Vin was grateful the cells were all empty — the last of the cattle rustlers having been cleared out yesterday.
Vin moved his mouth to the gunman's neck and Chris whispered, "I missed you last night."
The tracker moaned in agreement, then mumbled, "I was too drunk ta make the ride." Chris nodded his understanding, but Vin could feel the disappointment wash over the man's body — he was sure Chris was picturing him and JD together in his stead. Vin then added, "But I dreamt about ya."
"Care to share?"
Vin pushed Chris back and smiled at him, teasing. Then he shook his head, refusing to tell. "Maybe I'll just show ya tonight after supper."
Chris grinned back, but the smile quickly faded. "Can't. I'm on patrol right after you."
Vin nodded. "Reckon I'll see ya at midnight." He then pulled Chris against him, kissing the man once more. Vin ran his hands down between them, feeling through the cloth of Chris's trousers the stiffness of the man's shaft against his palm. He began to rub it slowly, but then the door to the jailhouse banged open.
The two immediately broke contact. Chris wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, straightened his jacket and stepped out into the office. "Josiah," he greeted the intruder.
Vin quietly unbolted the side door then eased it open, first checking to make sure it was all clear before he closed the door behind him. He then tugged at the brim of his hat to straighten it as he walked back toward the main street where he mounted the boardwalk, then reentered the jail through the front door.
"Josiah. Chris," he said, greeting both men.
"Vin," Josiah replied. "Chris tells me you're my relief. It's nice to hear the boy is off living his young life for once."
Vin nodded.
Chris then added, with a sly look at the tracker, which Josiah luckily missed, "Nice that he's off spending time with someone his own age."
"Amen to that. That boy's over-abundance of energy will someday be the death of us all."
The three men laughed for a moment, then Josiah reported that nothing out of the ordinary had happened on his patrol. "Have a good afternoon, Vin. Should anyone need me, I shall be tinkering over at the church while the daylight lasts." And with that he turned and left the two men alone again.
But Vin couldn't stay and Chris knew it. He finished replenishing his bullets, then followed Josiah out the door. Chris didn't make another move to seduce him, both knowing there would be time for that later.
The tracker then headed down the boardwalk to retrieve his horse.
Just outside the livery, he ran into Nathan. "Ya come ta see Buck?"
"What's wrong with Buck?" Vin asked.
"Bad cough ... mostly," the healer replied, but it was that 'mostly' which worried the tracker. Buck had looked fine — stunned, but fine — when he'd busted in on him and JD the night before. It was only now that he realized that he hadn't seen the older man all morning.
"How long's he been up in yer clinic?" the tracker inquired.
"Since last night. Caught the dang fool wanderin' around after midnight with no coat on. Ain't no wonder he come down with a fever, though that's passed now."
Vin nodded. He wondered if it would be better to let Buck come to him, or JD, if he wanted to talk things out, or if he should just go up to see the man and have it done with.
"I'm here, Buck," the tracker replied, though he remained leaning against the closed door.
Buck sighed heavily and tried to take a few deep breaths, but the air in the room was still and warm from the morning sun. He felt sweat trickling down his brow and he was powerful thirsty.
Vin seemed to know what the man needed as he retrieved a glass off the far counter and filled it with water from the pitcher. He then sat down on the chair next to the bed, helping Buck to sit up slightly before handing him the quenching liquid.
Buck nodded his thanks after draining the glass, then he lay back down. Vin picked up a rag out of the nearby basin, squeezing the excess water from it, then applied the cloth to Buck's forehead.
He sighed at the coolness of the rag on his warm skin. Vin moved the cloth down to Buck's cheek as he used his other hand to push back the man's dark, damp hair. The cloth then moved down to his neck as Vin's fingers continued to brush over his hair. Buck closed his eyes, too tired to do anything but enjoy the relief from the heat of that small room.
Then he felt the cloth on his chest. It was so cool. So refreshing. And he felt Vin's finger gently moving down the side of his face. Then lips were pressed lightly against his own. He had never felt lips so soft and inviting in his life.
"Vin," he breathed.
"He ain't here, Buck," Nathan's voice replied. "But he was askin' after ya just a little while ago."
Buck shook his head then wiped a hand across his brow — the sweat there was thick enough that it was running down his cheeks in small rivulets. Nathan came over with a damp rag, to wipe his face, but Buck took the cloth from the healer and did the task himself.
These dreams were getting worse, Buck noted. And he did not like it. Not one bit.
But he didn't know how to stop them, except for not sleeping and as tired as he was from being sick, that didn't seem likely for a while.
"Nathan, if ya see Josiah, would ya let him know I'd like ta talk ta him?"
"Sure thing," the healer nodded, as he left Buck's side and returned to his open book on the far table.
