Gently Falls the Rain

ONE

warm and cozy place,
entwined in a lover's embrace,
fire casts a shadow's glow;

sated repose in your arms,
until our world's met by the dawn,
dreams of your touch will I know;

we can come here again,
share from without and within,
matings both fierce and tame;

for my heart's found its home,
no longer alone,
as gently falls the rain.

Buck closed the door to his apartment. He went over to the fridge, pulled out a beer, then went into the living room and sat down hard on the couch. Taking a drink from his beer, he thought back, feeling not just alone, but very lonely.

Nate had Rain. He'd found a single rose in Josiah's car the other day when they went out together to pick up lunch. Josiah said it was for someone special and gave Buck a wink and a smile. Things had changed with JD. He was seeing someone and that someone was a man. After he was sure that his young friend knew he was ok with the fact that he was bi, he asked if anyone else knew. JD said he'd told Chris, not wanting him to find out from someone else, and that Chris didn't have any problems with it either. All this did nothing to lessen Buck's surprise that JD was involved with Vin. To top everything off today, the look in Chris's eyes when he was talking to Ezra earlier confirmed to his mind that while Chris had no problem being in a relationship with a man - it certainly didn't look to Buck like that man was ever going to be him. Buck sat back and drinking some more of his beer, thought back over the past few weeks.

TWO

Two Weeks Ago

The team had just finished up some work and they were free for the weekend. JD had finished up before Buck and said that he would meet up with him back at the apartment, but that he had some errands to run first.

Buck decided on pizza for dinner. Buck had noticed that JD seemed quiet at times lately. He knew JD was dating someone, heck he'd even caught the younger man daydreaming a time or two. Didn't know JD could turn that particular shade of red he had when all he'd done was ask where the kid's head was at. Course that little ole blush did give Buck some good teasing ammo.

He met up with JD at the door to their apartment.

"Buck I was.."

"JD I was.."

They both started laughing.

"Go ahead." Buck managed to get out as the laughing died down.

"Buck, um, I've got something to tell you. It's nothing bad but it is important."

"OK JD, but what do you say we get in the door and sit down and have some of this pizza and a beer with this talk."

"Sounds good to me."

They could both hear the ringing of the phone as they opened the door, they heard the answering machine pick up. JD paled a little as he recognized the voice. He pushed past Buck, dropping the bags from his hands, and tried to get to the phone before too much was said. This was NOT how he wanted Buck to find out. Damn but fortune could be a bitch! He just couldn't get to the phone fast enough. 'Shit, what more could happen?'

Mr. Prior's voice came on the line saying. "Mr. Dunne I recieved your deposit and the signed copies of the paperwork. I'm glad you're staying in the building and you'll probably be glad come moving day that you're only going one flight up. Either you or your boyfriend can pick the keys up any time on Monday. See you then. Bye."

JD looked back nervously to see Buck sitting in his tan chair. He had a dazed kind of look on his face as he studied what he held in his hands. 'Just had to tempt fate by asking what more could happen didn't you. Well here's your answer.' Buck doesn't just know you're moving out, he knows you have a boyfriend, and unless he's not just hopelessly clueless, but totally so, it's a pretty safe bet that he now knows who that boyfriend is.

"Buck, you ok?" JD asked hesitatingly. Buck looked up at JD and said. "Looks like you had quite a few things for us to be talking about tonight."

"Buck, I know this is all coming as a surprise to you but I need to know - are you ok with this, we still going to be friends, or should I find myself someplace else to stay until I move? Buck took a good look at JD. The kid, no the man, looked like he was tied up in knots. He was probably worried that Buck was upset with him, for moving out, for having a boyfriend, and for that boyfriend being Vin. Threw him for a loop, that was for sure. But JD was still JD and how could he be upset with him for not letting him know he was attracted to men when he hadn't said anything to JD about being interested in men himself.

"It's ok JD. Still friends. I'm not kicking you out till you move. Done some looking on that side of the fence myself."

JD looked relieved. "I was planning to tell you, honest Buck."

"I believe you kid." With that his stomach rumbled and JD's answered in turn. "Looks like we could both do with dinner. I'll get some plates." Buck said as he moved into the kitchen, handing JD the pictures as he moved by.

JD looked at the pictures in his hands and thought 'well I'm just coming out all over the place in more ways than one without even trying.' Glancing at the photo strip from the mall he recalled Vin pulling him into one of those photo boothes. The pictures had started out silly, then Vin had kissed him. Couldn't wait to get Vin out of there then. The thought of Vin's hands and warm wet mouth on him made him hard enough to want something else to come out just then. JD shook himself. 'no, no, no, can't come out and play with Buck standing in the kitchen.'

"JD you planning on being a statue all night - hey kid - you really care about Vin don't you? Buck asked handing JD a beer.

"Yeah."

"And he cares about you?"

"Yeah." JD said again, this time a little dreamily.

"And you can't wait to tell him you're having his baby?" Buck asked with a devilish grin.

"Yeah." JD said then took a drink of his beer, spewing it all right out again as the meaning of what he'd just agreed to sunk in.

"Boy, you got it bad." Buck said laughing. "Let's sit down, eat, then talk."

THREE

They ate and then grabbed a couple of more beers and headed into the living room. Buck started a fire in the fireplace and then sat down facing in his chair facing JD. They talked into the night and then each went to his room to go to sleep. JD dreaming of Vin. Buck thinking about Chris's positive reaction to JD and just what that might mean for the feelings he realized were reawakening for the man he'd called friend for so many years. Chris's face came into view in his mind as his eyes drifted shut.

Over the weekend Vin had come by and helped JD and Buck with packing JD's things. JD and Vin fast became comfortable expressing their feelings for one another around Buck. They would exchange kisses and light touches. They would also whisper from time to time, sneaking a peak at Buck while they did so, wondering when Buck and Chris would clue into the feelings the younger men were sure they had for each other. They hoped their displays of affection with each other might give the other man some ideas.

What they didn't know was how well it was working. Buck found himself waking up for the second day in a row from an erotic dream of trailing kisses down Chris's chest towards his belly button, which he would nip and suck at before moving further down. Down to a hard cock with the softest covering of skin. He would suckle at it until Chris would try thrusting his hips and begging for more. Then he would move back up the path he'd come down, lining his cock up with Chris's to thrust them together and invading Chris's mouth with his tongue. When he couldn't hold back any longer, he'd quicken the pace, moving his hips in furious time with Chris's until they both came. He'd woken up twice now holding himself with the evidence of how well his body liked the dreams having flowed out of him. Buck wondered if Chris might be open to the possibility of a relationship with him. Dreams were nice, but surely the real thing would be that much better.

Monday came and JD got moved in just fine. Tuesday saw Buck heading out to a conference on bomb disposal methods.

Thursday Buck awoke to the phone ringing in his hotel room. Picking up the receiver he mumbled half awake.

"Hello."

"Buck, it's Chris."

"Chris, what's wrong?" Buck asked having picked up the tension in the other man's voice.

"I'm calling from the hospital. JD and Vin were in a car accident on the way to work. JD has a concussion. Vin has a broken wrist from where it hit the steering wheel."

"I told Vin he'd better take care of JD. Tell him he's got some answering to do when I get back there."

"Buck, it wasn't his fault. Some other guy had a heart attack behind the wheel of his car. He was dead before any of the other cars were hit. If Vin hadn't handled things so well they could have been hurt a lot worse."

FOUR

Chris hung up the phone and made his way back to the hospital room that was currently hosting JD and Vin. Ezra and Josiah ran out to get some lunch and then they were heading back to the offfice. Nate was grabbing something to eat with Rain in the cafeteria.

Chris entered the room quietly, taking in the sight of Vin brushing the hair out of JD's eyes and laying a soft kiss on his brow as he slept.

"Cowboy."

"How are you doing?"

"Hanging in there. Better since JD woke up again and talked to me a bit fore dozing off again. Scared me more than I can tell you Chris. One moment JD and I are talking about me moving in with him. The next thing I hear is the sound of squealing tires and crunching metal. When it was all still again I looked over and saw JD, and the dazed look on his face."

"And in that moment you would have given anything to trade places with him."

"Yeah."

"I know. Felt that way when I lost Sarah."

"The thought of having to heal from a loss like that - I don't know that I would be that strong. You ever think of being in love again, Chris?"

"Sometimes." Chris replied and then became quiet with a distant look to his eyes.

"I'm sorry. Shouldn't a asked that."

"It's ok. Actually there's someone I've been thinking of lately."

"Buck."

"Yeah, and just how did you figure that?"

"Don't know. Might be you and Buck get this look in your eyes when you're looking at each other."

"You don't say."

"Yeah, Chris. Question is, what're going to do about it?"

"I have a few ideas."

"Do you now?"

"Definitely."

"Buck's not going to know what hit him, is he?"

"Not if I can help it." Changing the subject Chris said. "I'm going to get something to eat and swing by the office. Nathan is going to pick Buck up at the airport when he gets in. I explained to him what happened. He wants to see you guys for himself so he'll be by later. The rest of us will be back too."

"Later then, cowboy."

"Um, Vin."

"Yes, love."

"Mm, was that?"

"Chris."

"Thought I heard him say something about Buck."

"Yeah, looks like at least one of them is taking the blinders off."

"About time."

"Sure is. Now about that question you had for me..."

Buck's plane was delayed at take off due to weather. He used the time to figure out how he was going to approach Chris about a relationship. Different scenarios went through his mind and he thought each one through and made a decision.

Nathan was there to pick him up when he finally landed. They quickly went by Buck's so he could get his jeep. Nathan went home and Buck headed to the hospital. He knew visiting hours would be close to over, but he really needed to see for himself that JD and Vin were ok. By the time he got to the hospital, the other guys had gone for the night.

Buck quietly poked his head into JD and Vin's room. JD was laying in bed with his eyes half open. Vin was curled around him. They both looked up at the sound of the door opening.

"Hey there." Buck said softly kinda feeling like he was intruding.

"Hey, come on in." Vin replied.

"Just came by to see how you were doing?"

"Ok." Vin said. "We're both being released tomorrow. I'm going to stay with JD when we get out."

"Sounds good. JD,how are you feeling?"

"Have a headache, but it's getting better."

"Well, it looks like you're kinda sleepy so I better be going. See you both tomorrow."

"Will do, Buck." Vin answered.

"Night Buck." said JD.

"If you need anything, just let me know."

As he was going out the door he heard JD say. "Vin."

"Mm."

"Just realised something."

"What's that love."

"Don't need anything or anyone else. Got all I need right here in my arms."

"Me too, John, love you."

Buck let the door close, once again feeling like and intruder. By the time he got home he was exhausted. The apartment felt emptier that usual. Instead of dreaming of Chris, Buck's dreams were filled with doors. He would knock on one and JD would open it. When he would say he was there to help, JD would say he didn't need anything from him. Then Vin would come up and put his hands on JD's shoulders and say that all JD needed was him. Then the door would be shut in his face. Then he would knock on another door.

FIVE

Friday morning came and Buck rolled out of bed feeling anything but refreshed. He made his way into the kitchen and was fixing a cup of coffee when the phone rang.

"Lo."

"Morning, Buck."

"Chris."

"I'm headed over to the hospital to pick up Vin and JD. Nathan's going to meet me there so he can be sure ALL the discharge orders are followed and not just the ones the boys feel like following. We'll be by the office shortly."

"All right Chris, see ya in a bit."

Hanging up the phone, Buck told himself to let it go. Chris and Junior were friends just like he and JD. Made just as much sense to ask Chris to take them home as it did to ask him. Only they hadn't asked him, and just right now that made something inside him hurt.

Late Saturday morning Buck went upstairs to see how the boys were doing. They invited him to have lunch with them. He took notice of just how well Vin's stuff looked at home with JD's . They finished lunch and Buck left to head back to his place. There wouldn't be a poker game this weekend because Chris had to get ready and leave for a two day conference he was attending.

Buck used Sunday to make plans for Friday. He thought he'd invite Chris over for dinner after work. They could watch the football game. He'd get some of Chris's favorite food, beer and snacks. They could relax and be comfortable. And maybe he'd kiss Chris again. And maybe this time the kiss would be returned freely, not because it was needed as cover for and assignment as it was all those years ago. Chris had known Buck was bi, and when it has become necessary had let Buck kiss him. Buck was sure something had sparked between them in those moments that had nothing to do with the case. The case came to a close that night. The next day a woman named Sarah entered their lives and no more was said of that moment or that night. Buck shoved down the feelings that had awakened for his friend. He stood by him as he married and found that he couldn't be angry with Sarah when he could plainly see all the love her eyes held in them for Chris. But now Buck thought, the time was right to try again. None of his relationships, male or female lasted very long. Maybe he could find that connection and make it spark again.

+ + + + + + +

Monday found the rest of the team getting ready to testify in the latest case coming to trial. The trial was slated to start on Wednesday. They were testifying against Allana Styles and her boyfriend Ned Witcomb. It seems they were bringing in guns with artwork available for sale in Allana's shop. Then they were delivering them to local gangs. It was going well until a shipment which busted open in transit made its way into the hands of the ATF.

Tuesday was pretty quiet as well. They'd all gotten invitations to JD and Vin's for a Saturday night poker party now that they were all settled. Josiah volunteered to run out for lunch and asked Buck if he'd come along. Buck opened the door to sit down on the passenger's side when he spotted a red rose on the seat. He picked it up and then sat down turning to Josiah with raised eyebrows and a smile.

"You shouldn't have." He teased the other man.

"I didn't. Well not for you brother. It's for someone else." He said with a wink and a smile of his own.

"Pretty, Josiah?"

"Special, and with eyes that get beautiful as they darken."

"Must be love."

"Could be brother, could be."

SIX

Wednesday came and Buck could have sworn Ezra had been replaced with a pod person. The only thing that convinced him that it was still Ezra in their office was that he was using more words than a body needed to in order to simply say it was a good morning. The simple fact that Ezra was showing up at the office a 9:20 in the morning with a great big smile on his face being enough to make Buck wonder in the first place.

Buck and JD had to testify this afternoon. Chris, Vin, and Ezra were scheduled for Thursday afternoon.

+ + + + + + +

Chis got in late Wednesday night. As he lay in bed, he thought over his plans for Saturday after the poker game. He'd have to see if JD still had his key to Buck's apartment. Then he'd enlist Ezra's help in setting things up. Seeing Vin kiss JD so tenderly in th hospital had taken him back in time in his mind, to another kiss. This one shared during a case. He remembered Buck gentley rubbing his thumb over his lowerlip and lowering his head, just barely brushin his lips with the lightest of kisses before licking them and encouraging them to open under his. The case they were working on had ended that night. He had felt surprise and warmth as he thought of the kiss as he fell asleep that night. The next day he had met Sarah.

Since Sarah's death dh'd dated and slept with a few women and even a couple of men. None had filled any of the empty corners of his soul. He'd found himself dreaming of that kiss with his imagination taking it further in his dreams. He'd known for a while now that his feelings for Buck were growing in a more intimate direction. But looking at Vin and JD really made him think of himself and Buck and the possibility the warmth he'd found once before would still be there and that a friend just might be a lover as well. He drifted to sleep with a smile on his lips.

+ + + + + + +

The trial ended on Friday and then tings took their usual turn into weirdness. It seemed that Allana's boyfriend had a previous girlfriend he'd double-crossed in the past leaving her with no clue as to where the monies they'd stolen were. She decided to kill him as he was leaving the courthouse. Her shooting was off. She grazed Chris on his scalp with the first shot. Her shot would have done more damage but Chris managed to tackle Ezra before the bullet could hit him. Vin's shot hit a banner abover her, knocking it and her down. She dropped the gun in the commotion and was arrested. Damn, thought Chris. Can't even testify in court without having to make a trip to the hospital and do up paperwork.

Chris, much to his usual delight, was loaded into an ambulance. Vin called the office to let the others know what had happened. Nathan and Josiah were there, but Buck and JD were out gathering information for a new case.

The ambulance pulled in and Chris was unloaded. His head was pounding and everyone around him was talking. the nurse checked his blood pressure, pulse and temperature, then proceeded shining a damn light in his eyes. Then they must've decided which little cubicle they were putting him in. As they were wheeling him away he could have sworn he heard someone say gues who's visiting us again - yep, best to warn the nurses, looks like he might be an overnight guest. Ah, hell, Chris thought.

Ezra and Vin were in the usual waiting room when Nathan and Josiah arrived. Ezra assured Josiah he was fine thanks to Chris. He wanted to thank him for getting him out of the way of that bullet. Later he would show Josiah how glad he was to have someone to love and be loved by.

Doctor Carstairs came by and let the guys know that Chris was bandaged, had s slight concussion, and would be spending the night for observation. He would most likely be released in the morning. He was currently being moved to his room, which as luck would have it, was the same one JD and Vin were in one week ago.

They all went to see Chris when he was settled. Chris asked about JD's key and Ezra helping him for Saturday night. Everyone agreed to help. They wanted to see Buck and Chris as happy as they were.

+ + + + + + +

Having gotten hungry, the guys decided to go across the street and get some pizza. Ezra opted to stay behind. He really did want to thank Chris. JD and Buck arrived just as the guys were going out the door. JD went with them. Buck stayed behind. His plans for tonight may have been thrown a curve, but he still wanted to see Chris. Their jobs would always be dangerous. That just meant they had to make the most of the time they were given.

"Chris, I truly wish to thank you for pushing me out of the way of that bullet."

"You're welcome. About tomorrow night..."

"Chris, I believe I've got something in my eye." "Here, let me see."

Buck got to the door which was slightly ajar just a moment later. He stopped short when he saw Chris's thumb caress Ezra's face.

"I'm nervous about tomorrow night."

"It will be perfect. Everything you have planned, I will have in place."

Buck could see the light in Chris's eyes as he replied. "Guess you're right. After all what could be better than spending the night with the man you love." Seeing the sparkle in Ezra's eyes Chris asked. "You have something special you're thinking of?"

"Very special, Chris." Ezra replied thinking of how sensitive Josiah was in certain places, and how sweetly the he could beg."

Buck couldn't stand to listen to another word. His heart felt heavy and he turned away and headed down the hall. Chris sure seemed comfortable about being in a relationship with Ezra. No wonder Ezra had seemed so happy on Wednesday. If that light in Chris's eyes had been for him, he'd be happy all the rest of his days. But it wasn't. Chris found love, seemed like everyone had. Everyone but him. Why?

The rest of the guys visisted with Chris a little longer. When they mentioned Buck, Chris and Ezra said they didn't see him. JD decided to give him a call.

Present:

Buck came out of his thoughts at the ringing of the phone. It was JD. He told him he decided to head home early cause he didn't feel so good and he hoped a night's sleep would have him in shape for the party tomorrow night. JD said he hoped so too. Buck hung up the phone. Part of him felt bad for lying to JD. But Buck knew that no amount of sleep would mend his heart. And just how the hell hw was going to get through tomorrow night, he hadn't a clue.

He tossed the empty bottle and got another beer from the fridge. He made his way over to his stereo, and found the cd he was looking for. He'd downloaded some songs and burned them about a month ago. This one had the perfect songs to match the whirlwind of thoughts swirling through his mind. He put it on and sat down on the couch taking a drink of his beer. The songs were all sad ones, leading up to one in particular. By the time it came Buck had finished the beer and the tears were flowing freely down his cheeks. He'd pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and covered himself. The last song came on.

The Teddy Bear Song

I wish i had button eyes and a red felt nose
A shaggy cotton skin and just one set of clothes
Sittin' on a shelf in a local department store
With no dreams to dream and nothing to be sorry for

CHORUS I wish I was a teddy bear
Not livin' or lovin' nor goin' no where
I wish I was a teddy bear
And I'm wishin' that I hadn't fallen in love with you

I wish I had a wooded heart and a sawdust mind
Then your mem'ry wouldn't come around hurtin' all the time
I'd have a sewed-on smile and a painted twinkle in my eye
And I never would have ever had to learn how to cry

CHORUS

I wish I had a string you could pull to make me say
"Hi, I'm Teddy-ain't it a lovely day?"
Then I'd know every time I spoke the words were right
And no one would know the mess I made of my life

CHORUS

And I'm wishin' that I hadn't fallen in love with you.

As the last of the music faded away, Buck's eyes softly closed. They were red and puffy. The big man was all cried out. And in the quiet solitude of the darkness, a tear made a path down a wet cheek. All by itself, just like the man who's cheek it carressed on its downward trail.

SEVEN

Ezra and Josiah said goodnight to the guys at the hospital and then headed over to Josiah's. Josiah would be very glad to hold Ezra tonight. Grateful to Chris, Vin, and whatever fates made that young woman such a bad shot. It was luck too that the hand Vin needed to shoot with wasn't the one in the cast.

Two months ago it had been Ezra and himself who had gone off to conferences. They had traveled to Santa Fe. Josiah had seemed quieter than usual. On the day before the conference ended they split up for dinner,Josiah saying he wanted to go for a walk. On his way back from dinner, Ezra spotted Josiah entering a cemetery with a bouquet of flowers. Ezra was both curious and concerned. He always admired and cared for Josiah. He saw Josiah go to a grave, place the flowers, then sit down on an adjacent bench. He rounded the corner and parked the car. He decided to approach Josiah from behind to see if he could figure things out a little before saying anything.

Quietly approaching, he heard Josiah say. "I know you'd shake your head at me if you could Mike. I just don't know what I have to offer to such a man as Ezra."

Ezra took a deep breath, as he stood still to listen.

"You should see my Southerner. He's very guarded about his emotions. But when he lets them loose, it's something to behold. He's fiery when he's angered and his eyes spark or grow cold. When he laughs his eyes twinkle with such life. I don't think he knows how truly beautiful he is. I can only imagine what his eyes would look like kindled with passion.

A maelstrom of thoughts flooded Ezra's mind. Josiah cared for him as a potential lover? Also, whoever was in the grave most likely had been a lover. The question was could he see himself with Josiah like that? Could he let down the walls and invite Josiah into his heart? Certain parts of his anatomy certainly seemed to be liking the idea. He had to admit to himself that his heart liked the idea as well. Now, to go forward or walk away for a while? Forward it was.

"Josiah."

The big man startled and turned seeing Ezra. `Oh God, I just know he heard me.'

"Ezra I..."

"It's ok my friend." Ezra said nearing and putting a hand on Josiah's shoulder.

= "Can we talk, Josiah?"

And they did. Josiah told Ezra about Mike, about how they had been in love, about a fateful night and a drunk driver, who had ended more than just her life that night. They talked about Josiah's feelings for Ezra and Ezra's for him. They decided to date each other, to build a relationship by getting to know each other a bit at a time. Ezra offered Josiah a ride back to the hotel. They walked to the car hand in hand. The statue overlooking Mike's resting place had a drop of water going down the cheek of the angel. One would have thought it was the evening dew, but for the fact that all else was dry.

Now two months later they were finally lovers as well as friends. Josiah had given Ezra a long stemmed rose that Tuesday evening when he'd gone to Ezra's. They went to dinner and saw a movie. When they got back to Ezra's, they had some coffee and settled on the couch in front of the fireplace. Josiah set down his coffee cup and turned to Ezra. He took his cup out of his hands and set it down next to his own. Then he turned back again, laying a warm hand on the back of Ezra's neck, pulling him gently forward as he leaned down and kissed him. Ezra's lips parted and Josiah started to caress the inside of his mouth with his tongue. When they came up for air they were both quite disheveled.

"Want more?" Josiah asked.

"Yes." Ezra panted.

"Want to feel your warmth inside me."

With that Ezra got up slowly and started for the bedroom. His clothes scattered along the way, leaving Josiah to follow in his wake. That night had been a wonder. All Josiah's imaginings couldn't do justice to the depth of color that lit Ezra's eyes as he came.

+ + + + + + +

They got in the door and Ezra led Josiah back to the bathroom. Today had been stressful. Ezra knew Josiah wanted to touch and love on him. He'd been scared at the possibility of losing Ezra. They were both wound up. A nice warm shared shower would relax them both while it allowed them to touch and be touched by the other. They climbed in. Josiah washed Ezra slowly, laying kisses here and there as he went along. He kissed Ezra on the lips, and reached down engulfing Ezra's penis in his wet, soapy hands. He soon had Ezra begging for release.

"Please Josiah."

"Yes, love. Come for me." And Ezra did.

They dried off and went to the bedroom. Ezra climbed onto the bed, laid back and said.

"Siah, Want to feel you in me tonight."

"Of course, love."

Josiah climbed onto the bed and took one of Ezra's feet in his hands. He massaged it for a while, then moved to the other. Then he started a path of kisses up the inside of Ezra's legs, bypassing his cock in favor of nipping at his belly. By this time Ezra was squirming. He played on the other man's nipples for a bit then leaned in for a deep, long kiss.

"Gonna get you ready, now."

And he did. Then he entered him trying to go slowly, but Ezra was having none of it. He moved his hips impaling himself on Josiah's cock.

"Ezra?"

"Want to feel it my own. Hard and fast, please?"

Josiah picked up the pace. Ezra's cock was hard again and leaking. When Josiah went to fist it, Ezra gently took his hand and said.

"Want to come just from you inside me."

Josiah kissed him on the chest where his heart was. Then they both came. Josiah pulled out carefully. Then pulled the covers over them as Ezra snuggled at his side and lay his head down.

"Sleep well, love."

"Always do in your arms."

EIGHT

Saturday came all too fast for Buck's liking. JD and Vin had invited him for lunch. They asked if he'd be willing to run around with Vin while JD cleaned the place. They needed to pick things up for the party and some things were just hard to get a hold of with just one hand. So off they went. When they got back, JD helped Buck bring the things up, letting Vin put away what he could. Then Buck went back to his place to get ready for the party.

Buck put off going back upstairs as long as he could. When he reached the apartment he took a deep breath and knocked. As he entered, he looked around. He saw everyone but Chris and Ezra. Then he looked out on the balcony. Putting on a poker face that would have done Ezra proud `and wasn't that just, ah hell, like wearing the mask of your enemy to fool them.' It hurt all the more because Ezra was a friend. A friend who loved the same man he did.

Ezra and Chris came in. They all sat down and played cards for a while. They ate and drank while they played. Then they took time for a break. Buck was damn well ready for it. The bi play between JD and Vin as well as Chris and Ezra had him near the end of his rope. And what on earth had gotten into Josiah. He could have sworn the man was flirting with Ezra. And Ezra flirted back. Surely, if he could tell then Chris ought to have been able to tell as well. Then why wasn't the man doing something about it?

Buck headed for the bathroom. When he came out, Ezra wasn't to be seen. Buck was wondering how long it would be before Chris slipped out too. A few minutes later, Chris went to use the bathroom. Buck went out onto the balcony. He looked down and saw Ezra and Josiah holding hands. What the hell! Meanwhile Chris asked where Buck was. Buck had slipped into the shadows of the building when Ezra and Josiah looked up towards the apartment. When Chris stepped out onto the balcony, he spotted Buck.

"Been looking for you Buck."

"You have?"

"Yeah, buddy. Don't sound so surprised."

With that Chris went over to the railing and looked out. Ezra and Josiah were sharing a moonlit kiss. He turned to Chris expecting to see anger and betrayal in his friend's eyes. What he saw had him dumbfounded and wondering if maybe his perception of how things ought to be had become greatly skewed from the rest of the world as he knew it. There on Chris's face was a look that was tender and hopeful. Just didn't make no sense. Neither did the words which came from his friends mouth.

"Look good together don't they."

That was it! Buck had it. "How can you say the man you love looks good kissing another man!"

With a warm chuckle at Buck's outburst Chris said. "If it were the man I loved I couldn't say it at all."

"What do you mean if it were the man you loved. I heard you Chris. You talked to Ezra when you were in the hospital about setting something up so you could spend all night with the man you loved. Ezra."

" You should know better than to listen at doorways, Buck. You know you don't always get the whole story. I don't love Ezra. He was helpful, though in setting something up for the man I do love."

Buck felt defeated. At least Ezra he knew. This phantom love wasn't someone he'd figured on. He turned, head down, to go back into the apartment.

Close to his ear came Chris's voice, low and throaty. The warm breath on his neck and the tone of Chris's voice sent a shiver through his body that had nothing to do with the evening air.

"Bucklin' , it's your arms I want to sleep in tonight."

Buck stopped and turned back around.

"Chris." he warned. "Don't be playing a game with me. I've been round and about thinkin' of you being in love with Ezra. I really do love you and I don't want to get my hopes goin' again unless you're sure, I mean really sure `bout this. My heart needs a home."

"I'm as sure as I was when I married Sarah, Buck. Let me show you. Come with me please?"

"All right.."

Chris leaned in and laid a soft kiss to Buck's lips.

With that Chris and Buck headed through the apartment and out the door.

NINE

Behind the door they had just exited, the three men waved from the balcony to the two below. The wave was returned along with Ezra's signature salute. Nathan said his goodnights. JD and Vin cleaned up and got ready for bed.

+ + + + + + +

Downstairs, Buck opened the door to his apartment.

"What the." a moment of stunned silence. "Ezra." he said answering the unspoken question in his mind of how the sight that greeted him came to be."

"Yep, Buck. Got it in one."

A few candles were lit, their soft light throughout his apartment seeming to pull him towards the bathroom. He went in following the light and the dancing shadows created by the fire's glow until he stood in the doorway to his bathroom. Tiny candles warmed the room, the extra large tub set up with the Jacuzzi running. There were new bath towels and plush robes for when they finished.

"Shall we?"

"Yeah. May I?" Buck asked, reaching out to the buttons on Chris's shirt, needing to touch to reaffirm that this was real.

Chris dropped his hands and took Bucks outstretched one and placed it on the buttons near his heart. Buck undid the buttons, then pushed the shirt off Chris's shoulders. He moved one hand down to the small of Chris's back and the other into his hair, drawing them together. He licked his lips and then covered Chris's with his own in a kiss that started with gentle exploration and ended with passion and a need for more. Clothes which were loosened during the kiss, were removed. The two men climbed into the tub.

Chris had decided he wanted to do a little touching of his own. His hands explored and teased, finding sensitive places on Buck's body that he filed away for later use. Pulling back from a lingering kiss, Chris whispered.

"Want you. Need to feel you inside me."

"Bedroom." Buck replied with darkening eyes.

They got out and dried themselves off, looking but not touching, Buck outened the candles in the bathroom while Chris made went to the bedroom taking a candle along the way. When Buck got to the doorway to his bedroom he was greeted by the sight of Chris's naked form bathed in the moonlight coming in through the window. Chris was reclining on the pillows. His right leg was bent at the knee, his foot flat on the bed. His left leg was straight and off to the side,leaving a grand view of a nice hard cock. Buck approached the bed and took off his robe, tossing it on a nearby chair. Then he climbed onto the mattress and started loving on Chris.

While kissing Chris, he somehow managed to reach the lube on the dresser. He made his way down Chris's body to the hardness of his cock. It was leaking and Buck bent down and lapped at it, welcoming the intimate taste of his lover. He put some lube on the fingers of his one hand as he fisted Chris's cock with the other. He bent down and took a little of Chris into his mouth. He played at Chris's entrance with his fingers, while stroking up and down on Chris's cock with his mouth. He slipped into Chris, finding his prostate and rubbing with his fingers til Chris came.

Then he entered Chris slowly. He kissed Chris's chest, going from one nipple to the other. Then he went up a little higher to nip at Chris on his neck near his ear. All the while he stroked slowly, but steadily in and out of Chris. The burning in his balls built. He picked up the force of his strokes, angling for Chris's prostate. Chris had long since grown hard again. He took one of Buck's hands in his own and together they fisted his cock til he came. The sight and feel of Chris's release on and around him made Buck go over the edge with his own release. He collapsed, laying his head on Chris's chest.

Later that night the two sated men rested in each other's arms. They each dreamt of the other, while the windowpane was splashed with the drops of a gentle rainfall.

The End
Sequel: Meeting the Dawn