Vin couldn't believe it had only been two week since he'd been sent TDA to California for weapons training. He was enjoying the training part but he missed Ezra. Ezra had offered to fly in for the weekend but Vin had said no, even though he'd wanted Ezra to come. This was the first time they had been apart for so long since they had become a couple. Ezra had gone undercover a few times but Vin could be gone a month.
Vin paced the hotel room, he was bored. Some of the other guys had invited him to go to a nearby club but he hadn't been interested. So here he was on a Friday night with nothing to do. He decided to just go out and walk around, see what caught his eye.
He left the hotel and headed towards the old part of the downtown area. He'd heard there were some clubs that had live music and pool. He could hear country music coming from a building a few doors down. He smiled as he entered, the bar was decorated like a western saloon. He sat at the bar and ordered a beer. A band played at the stage but no one was on the small dance floor. Vin looked around the bar and saw pool tables in the back. A few pool tables were occupied so he moved to the end of the bar so he could watch. He was on his second beer when a man approached him.
"Wanna play a game?" He inclined his head towards the tables.
"Sure." Vin picked up his beer and followed the guy to a table at the back of the room. He picked out a pool cue as the man racked the balls.
"You can break."
Vin nodded and broke, getting a striped ball in a pocket.
"Name's Jack." He held out his hand.
"Vin." Vin shook hands. Was it his imagination or did Jack hold his hand a little long? He missed his next shot.
Jack managed to get two in before missing.
"New in town? Don't think I've seen you here before."
"Yeah, I'm in town on business. Heard the music and came in."
Jack smiled. Jack was the same height as Vin. He had long black hair that he had pulled back in a small ponytail and his eyes were a dark blue.
They were on their second game, Vin winning the first, when Vin began to notice Jack was checking him out. Or at least Vin thought he was. Every time Vin looked at him questioningly Jack would just smile widely.
Vin started to look a little closer at Jack. He was a good looking man, muscular like he worked out. Jack wore a sleeveless T-shirt and jeans with cowboy boots. Vin wondered what Jack's hair would look like undone.
What about Ezra? A voice said in his head. I'm not doing anything but looking, Vin said back.
Vin had lost count of the number of beers he had had but he was feeling real good. Not like he was drunk but alert, like he could go all night. He felt a little warm but he felt pumped.
Jack had begun to discretely brush against Vin as he would walk past. Every time Jack touched him, Vin felt a tingle all through his body. Jack bent over the table for a shot in front of Vin and then looked back and smiled.
Vin got up to take his shot and saw Jack look directly at Vin's crotch and then up to Vin's eyes. Jack smiled and moved to block Vin from shooting. Shit, Jack was trying to pick him up! Vin felt himself getting hard.
"Why don't we continue this game somewhere else?"
Jack low, husky voice went straight to Vin's groin. He'd been hit on before but had never been interested until Ezra. Damn, Ezra. But Ezra wasn't here, why worry about that?
Jack moved to walk past Vin and let his hand brush against the growing bulge in Vin's pants. Vin tried not to groan. Jack placed his hand on Vin's upper arm and gave a little tug.
"My place isn't far."
"My hotel is closer," Vin said. Moving to put up his pool cue he staggered a little. Man, he felt dizzy.
Jack smiled. "I'll get the tab."
The trip to the hotel was a blur. Jack led Vin to his car and keep stroking Vin's erection as he drove. Once inside the elevator Jack began to kiss him, placing a thigh between Vin's legs and grinding his crotch into Vin's. Vin grabbed Jack's ass and pulled Jack tighter against him. Vin had Jack's shirt out of his pants when the elevator stopped on his floor.
As soon as the hotel room door was closed Vin had Jack pressed to the door, kissing him deeply. He flung Jack's shirt to the floor. They undressed each other on the way to the bed, Jack maneuvering Vin backwards, lips never losing contact with skin.
Vin let Jack's hair loose and ran his fingers through it.
"Been wondering what that would feel like." He said breaking the kiss as the back of his knees hit the bed.
Jack smiled and ran his fingers though Vin's long hair. He leaned close and kissed Vin's neck and then bit and sucked a red mark.
"Been wondering the same thing myself."
Jack reached down and unbuckled Vin's belt, locking his eyes with Vin's as he unfastened his pants. He then dropped to his knees, tugging Vin's pants down and helped him step out of them.
He looked up again holding Vin's gaze as he took Vin in his mouth. Vin groaned, throwing his head back as he ran his hands through Jack's hair.
Jack ran his hands up Vin's legs then gripped Vin's ass, kneaded it and pulling Vin closer, taking all of Vin into his mouth. Jack then probed Vin's entrance with a finger.
"God Jack." Vin moaned clutching Jack's shoulders. Nothing had ever felt like this, every touch was magnified.
Jack pulled back, releasing Vin and standing up.
"Don't wanna rush things, we got all night."
Vin unfastened Jack's pants and then pulled him close to capture Jack's lips in fierce kiss. They tumbled back onto the bed.
Vin rolled so he was on top, working Jack's clothes off. He gazed down at Jack lying nude under him. Jack was nicely tanned and muscular. Vin ran his hands over Jack's hairy chest enjoying the feel of it.
Vin kissed and licked his way down Jack's chest. He ran his hands down Jack's sides and then under his ass. Vin ran his tongue down Jack's shaft and then took his balls into his mouth. Jack thrust his hips.
After a few moments Jack pulled away.
"My turn."
He moved Vin onto his back and bit and sucked his way down Vin's chest. Jack left many marks until he got to Vin's cock. Jack was a rough lover and Vin moaned in pain and pleasure. Jack squeezed Vin's balls as again took Vin's shaft into his mouth. As Vin moaned Jack jammed two fingers into him.
"Jesus." Vin groaned as he tried to move back but Jack held him down.
"Ain't had many men have you?"
Vin opened his eyes to see Jack looking at him, Jack's mouth was poised over Vin's cock.
"Only one."
Jack smile grew wider. "We're gonna have some fun tonight Vin. Got some things to teach you I'm guessing. Turn over."
Vin rolled over onto his stomach and Jack pulled on his hips.
"Up on all fours Vin. Gonna ride ya like a cowboy."
Jack rubbed his hands over Vin's ass and up his back. He kissed his way up Vin's back and then bit him hard on the back of the neck. As he bit Vin, he reached around and fondled his cock.
"Jack." Vin moaned again and moved back to rub his ass against Jack.
"Be careful what ya ask for." Jack said as he moved the end of his cock against Vin's entrance. He reached around again and gripped Vin's dick as he slammed into him in one stroke.
Vin grasped but then Jack was moving in him, hitting that spot and Vin forgot the pain as the pleasure took over.
Jack was right. He showed Vin a lot that night but parts of it where blurry when he awoke the next morning. Jack was lying behind him, one hand still holding his cock. Vin tried not to moan as he shifted. He hurt all over but he still felt energized even though he had lost count of the number of times they had had sex. They had run out of condoms but Vin hadn't cared.
Jack's hand began to stroke him and Vin wasn't surprised to feel himself harden. He couldn't get enough. It has only been two weeks since he'd had sex but the slightest touch from Jack had him raring to go again.
The phone rang as Vin turned to face Jack but Jack reached over and unplugged it.
"Don't want no interruptions. Got some more stuff to show ya. Wanna fuck you all weekend Vin."
Vin moved to kiss him but Jack broke away after a moment.
"Don't wanna waste time kissing, he said."Got other things I want you to do with that mouth."
Vin wasn't complaining one bit.
+ + + + + + +
Vin could hardly walk or sit down when he went back to class Monday morning. He found he couldn't concentrate in class, he felt restless and irritable. All he wanted to do was hook up with Jack again. Ezra had called numerous times over the weekend, leaving messages at the front desk. Vin had told the hotel to hold all calls and take messages. Vin waited until he knew Ezra wouldn't be at home to call and leave a message.
+ + + + + + +
"You alright,Ezra?"
Buck had followed Ezra into the break room. Ezra had been distracted all morning and looked like he hadn't slept.
"It's probably nothing." Ezra said as he poured himself another cup of coffee.
"What is nothing?" Buck leaned against the counter.
"Well, it is just that I haven't been able to get in touch with Vin all weekend. I left several messages but the front desk picked up every time I called."
Buck shrugged. "Probably nothing, maybe him and some of the other guys went out to do some sightseeing."
"Yes, that is what I was thinking." Ezra said trying to convince himself.
He didn't want to admit that he and Vin had talked every night since Vin had been gone. Ezra knew that the other's were okay with their relationship but he didn't feel comfortable talking about it.
+ + + + + + +
Vin couldn't believe he was leaving to go back to Denver in the morning. He had talked Jack into staying the night. They had spent every night together since the first one.
Jack had confessed that he had slipped Vin a small dose of Ecstasy that first night in the bar and that is what made them able to go all night. Vin had been shocked at first but he loved the way it made him feel, like he could run a marathon. They had been doing X almost every night since. His training classes had suffered but he didn't care, all he cared about was fucking Jack.
Now what was he going to do? He was leaving in a few hours, no more Jack and no more X.
Vin was lying behind Jack. He ran his hands around to stroke Jack's chest and then back to Jack's ass. He teased Jack's opening and then plunged his fingers in. Jack liked it rough and Vin was gonna give it to him, make sure Jack didn't forget him anytime soon.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra thought he had been worried while Vin was away, especially the last two weeks. He had hardly gotten a chance to talk to Vin. The few times he had reached Vin on the phone, Vin had been quick to get off. He kept saying he had work to do for class and Ezra had felt guilty for keeping him from studying.
Vin had been back three days and Ezra was more worried. Vin had avoided being alone with him, saying he was tired-and he looked it. Vin was restless at work and appeared as if he hadn't slept. Chris had gotten Vin to agree to join them at Inez's after work, it was Friday and they traditionally met there to unwind from the week.
Vin had been drinking more than normal since they had arrived and clearly was in a pissy mood. Chris had tried to get him to play pool but Vin had laughed and said Chris wasn't the one he wanted to play with. Then he had gotten up and went to the restroom where he had been for the last twenty minutes.
"Something wrong with him?" Chris asked Ezra when he and Buck were alone at the table.
"I am the last one you should ask. He hasn't had much to say to me since he returned. "
"Think something happened in San Francisco?" Buck glanced towards the bathroom but there was no sign of Vin.
"If it did I can name when it happened," Ezra said as he swirled the ice in his glass. "It has been two weeks since he began avoiding my calls and acting distant."
They all looked as the bathroom door banged open. Vin came striding out with a big smile on his face. He came up behind Ezra and leaned over him, rubbing his hands down Ezra's chest and then between his legs. Ezra jumped.
"Hey Ezra, let's get the hell out of here. I'm horny and wanna show ya how much I've missed ya."
Chris, Buck and Ezra exchanged looks. This was a totally different Vin than had gone into the bathroom earlier.
Vin grabbed Ezra by the wrist and pulled him up out of the chair.
"Come on, ain't ya missed me? "
He leaned closer to Ezra's ear and said loud enough for Chris and Buck to hear, "I wanna fuck ya till you scream, Ezra."
He winked at Chris and Buck as he tugged Ezra out the door.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra was beginning to wonder if someone impersonating Vin had come back to Denver in his place. Vin had insisted Ezra followed him to his apartment in Purgatory. Then Vin was kissing him and Ezra knew this was the Vin he loved. He ran his hands over Vin's back.
Vin pushed him to the bed and began pulling Ezra's clothes off.
"Hurry up. I wanna fuck ya Ezra."
"Vin, what is wrong?"
"Wrong? Ain't nothing wrong but you wearing all them clothes."
Vin had removed his clothes off and was now undressing Ezra. He paused as he removed Ezra's shirt and rubbed his hands down Ezra's chest. He paused and frowned.
Ezra moaned with the feel of Vin touching him again and then Vin pinched his nipple hard.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"Don't ya like that?" Vin purred as he began to kiss Ezra's neck, he reached down and unfastened Ezra's pants. "Don't worry, I'll make it better."
Vin placed his mouth on Ezra's nipple and lavished it with his tongue but as Ezra began to relax Vin bit him again. Before Ezra could complain Vin was down on his knees pulling Ezra's pants off and taking him in his mouth.
"Vin." Ezra moaned.
Again when Ezra began to enjoy the feeling of Vin's mouth, Vin jammed his fingers up Ezra's ass. Ezra gasped in pain, then Vin was sucking him harder and moving his fingers to hit his prostate. When he started to move with the rhythm of Vin's fingers, Vin removed them and pushed Ezra back on the bed.
"On your stomach."
Ezra rolled over onto his stomach. Part of him was saying he should stop this, find out what was wrong with Vin and the other part, the part that loved Vin and had missed him, overrode.
As soon as Ezra began to raise up on his knees Vin was stroking him and rolling Ezra's balls in his hands. Ezra moved to widen his legs and suddenly Vin rammed into him.
"Vin!" Ezra yelled as he tried to move away but Vin grabbed his hips and pulled Ezra back hard against him.
He began to slam his cock into Ezra, groaning and twisting his hips.
"Know ya like it like this." Vin crooned. "Gonna fuck ya hard."
Ezra tried again to move but Vin pushed his shoulders down, changing the angle as he pounded into Ezra, jerking Ezra's cock in hand. In a few minutes Vin groaned as he climaxed and moaned, "Jack."
He fell forward and then rolled on his side and in a moment was asleep.
Ezra laid on his stomach trying to make sense of what had just happened. Besides the fact that Vin had never been so rough he had heard Vin call the name Jack. Ezra rolled to his side so he could look at Vin. He noticed bite marks on Vin's back near the back of his neck. Vin also had an assortment of small bruises and love bites.
Ezra closed his eyes. Vin had been screwing around on him. He always knew in the back of his mind that nothing this good could last but this, this was a shock. He had imagined they would drift apart not that Vin would go out of town and pick up some stranger.
He groaned. He had been so caught up in Vin and trying to figure out what was wrong that he just realized they hadn't used protection. Shit.
He got up and began to dress. He kept glancing over at Vin but he was still asleep. The phone rang and Ezra quickly picked it up.
"Hello?"
There was a pause and then a male voice said, "Is Vin there?"
"He's asleep right now."
Ezra looked at the clock. It was midnight. Who was this calling so late? Then he heard a laugh.
"Guess he took my advice. You must be Ezra."
"Who is this?"
"Jack. Hasn't Vin mentioned me yet?" Jack laughed. "Did you enjoy what I've been teaching Vin? Bet you did. I had a lot to show him in two weeks. Don't thank me, it was my pleasure." Jack drew out 'my' and laughed again. Then he hung up.
Ezra stared at the phone. Vin had even given him his number? He finished looking for his clothes and dressing and as he moved Vin's pants he saw a small plastic bag in Vin's pocket. Inside were a variety of pills. Ezra rubbed his hand over his face. What the hell had Vin been doing while in California?
+ + + + + + +
Vin woke later and reached out across the bed. Where was Jack? He opened his eyes and realized he was back in his apartment? That's right, Ezra was here. Where is he? Vin looked around but saw no sign of Ezra. Damn and he was horny again. He padded to the bathroom and as he turned on the light noticed a small amount of blood on his cock. Where did that come from? He shrugged and jumped in the shower.
He let the phone ring and ring but Ezra never picked up. Where the hell was he? Vin felt tired now and depressed. God he wished Jack was here, Jack wouldn't have left him without a word. He was glad Jack had called while he was at Inez's. He had set his cell on vibrate and gone to the bathroom to answer it. When he told Jack how much he missed him Jack had suggested he take a small hit of X and then take Ezra home and pretend Ezra was Jack. They had phone sex until the X took effect and then Vin had gone out and dragged Ezra back to his apartment.
Vin laid back on the bed. Things were a little fuzzy after that. Vin thought about the blood he had seen. Had he been too rough with Ezra? No, he would do that. He loved Ezra didn't he? Did he? Vin sighed. He hadn't thought of Ezra at all since he'd met Jack, except to feel guilty at times.
But he couldn't get Jack off his mind, he did remember being disappointed when he undressed Ezra and saw that Ezra didn't have the hairy chest that Jack did. He shook his head, he couldn't concentrate. He couldn't separate how he felt when he and Jack fucked and the effects of the X. He knew they both made him feel energized, like he could do anything.
Jack wasn't here though. Jack was back in California and here he was stuck in Denver. The phone rang and he leaned over to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Hey Vin, how'd it go? Did you think about me?"
"Jack," Vin laid back on the bed smiling. "Wasn't as good as with you."
"Well Ezra didn't say whether he enjoyed it but I'm sure he did."
"Ezra? What do you mean?"
"He didn't tell you I called? Isn't he still there?"
"No, he didn't." Vin didn't want to say that Ezra had left while he was passed out. "He left a while ago."
"Man must be crazy to leave your bed, Vin. I'd be banging that ass of yours all night." Jack laughed.
"Yeah, I wish you were here too."
Vin heard voices and laughter in the background.
"Are you out?" Vin glanced at the clock. It was one am.
"Out playing some pool. You know I like to bust some balls." Jack said huskily. "Gotta go, Vin. It's my shot. See ya."
Jack hung up before Vin could reply.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra didn't know what he wanted to do - get drunk or hit something. He had started on the drinking while he decided.
He had unplugged the phone after the first time it had begun to ring. He knew from caller ID it was Vin. He now laid back in the tub. He had come home and showered, trying to scrub the images of Vin having sex with someone else off him. His ass burned where Vin had forced himself in. Had he said having sex? No, Vin had said it right. Vin had fucked him and some other guy. Ezra had always despised that word when used to describe something between two people who loved each other. What Vin had done was fucking. He was now fucked up.
Ezra took another big pull from the bottle and put his head back on the tub. Now what was he going to do? Confront Vin? Tell Vin he knew about this other guy? Would Vin say he was sorry? And what about the drugs he had found? Was that why Vin had been acting so strange? This guy, Jack had fucked Vin in more ways than one.
Ezra grimaced. He didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to replay the way Vin had acted and think about some other man doing those things to Vin. How had Vin allowed someone to treat him so roughly and then Vin had done it to him? Didn't Vin love him?
He laughed out loud. No, he didn't actually believe Vin loved him anymore.
+ + + + + + +
"Still no answer?"
Buck watched as Chris paced the living room and then slammed the phone down.
"No, I keep getting voicemail at Vin's and Ezra's."
"Maybe that's good?"
"You saw the way Vin was acting. Something isn't right. He acted like he was on something and he's been strange every since he got back from that training."
Buck stretched back on the couch and watched Chris continue to pace.
"Vin wouldn't do drugs. You know he hardly drinks."
"Hardly drinks? Did you forget the way he was knocking them back tonight?" Chris stopped in front of Buck.
"No." Buck sighed. "I agree he's been acting funny since he got back and from what Ezra says before that but let's not jump to conclusions."
Chris ran a hand through his hair then grabbing his beer sat on the couch next to Buck.
"I'm trying not to. I want to jump in the truck and barge in over there but you see I'm not." Chris smiled as he took a drink.
"Your control amazes me." Buck smiled back and slapped Chris' leg.
They both froze and looked away.
Every since they had found out about Vin and Ezra's relationship they had felt awkward around each other, not that either one mentioned it. Things were fine as long as they kept their distance from one another.
Chris took another swallow of beer and tried not to think about the burning imprint of Buck's hand on his skin, even through his jeans. He seemed to be hyper aware of every accidental brush of Buck against him. Was it just, what was the word, like a post-hypnotic suggestion? All he could think about was what it would be like to touch Buck,to see if his skin felt as silky as it looked.
That time they had all been dancing at Inez's, all Chris could do was watch Buck's body as he danced. Wonder what it would feel like to press up against him as he saw Ezra and Vin do.
Was that just because they were doing it and that's where he got the idea? He stood up and headed toward the kitchen.
"Want another beer?"
"Better not. I should be heading back to town. It's-" Buck looked at his watch, "-hell, it's almost two am."
Chris brought two beers back from the kitchen and handed one to Buck. "Stay, it's too late to be driving back."
They held each others eyes and it was Buck who looked away first.
"All right."
+ + + + + + +
Chris woke up early. He hadn't been able to sleep. He kept thinking how Buck was in the other room. Damn, when had this happened? He was being stupid. He'd been married for Christ sake. Why was he laying here thinking about Buck sprawled out on that big, queen-size bed in the spare room?
He got up, pulling on some sweat pants and went into the kitchen to make coffee. Once it was ready he poured a cup and went to sit on the porch swing.
He loved the early mornings. The sun had just begun to peek over the horizon, the sky was red. He had a wonderful view of the mountains. He turned as he heard the screen door open, out came Buck, mug in hand. He too wore sweat pants which Chris noticed rode low on his hips. He glanced down at Buck's hips and then up and blushed as he saw Buck watching him.
"Been up long?" Buck said as he sat in a nearby rocker.
"Nah, just got out here a couple of minutes ago. Couldn't sleep."
"Me neither."
They sat silently sipping their coffee as they watched the day begin.
"Sure is nice. I enjoy coming out here." Buck said as he continued to gaze at the sky.
"Yeah, I like sitting out here. Great way to start the day."
Buck sighed.
How could he bring up how he was feeling? He couldn't just say Hey Chris, I think I'm in love with you. That wasn't something you said to your straight, best friend who you had known all your life. He hadn't even thought about Chris that way before. Hell, he hadn't thought of any man that way. He loved women! Everyone knew that!
So why wasn't his heart listening any more? When had it turned on him and made him start watching Chris' every move?
He hadn't told anyone but he hadn't slept with a woman in over a month. Sure he'd gone out on dates but he hardly got pass kissing them when Chris' face started popping in his mind.
What the hell was he going to do? Did he say something and possibly ruin their friendship? Or did he say nothing and go crazy with wanting to touch Chris? He was pretty sure Chris suspected something but whether it horrified him or not Buck wasn't sure. He couldn't stop himself from touching Chris when he got the chance, but he tried to be casual about it. He thought Chris was about to say something last night when he'd slapped Chris' leg but then Chris had looked away and then gotten up to get a beer.
He sighed again. Best put this line of thought on hold until they figured out what was wrong with Vin.
"Think we should try Vin or Ezra first this morning?"
Chris frowned down at his mug.
"Vin should be up soon. Let's wait till after breakfast and see if they call."
Buck smiled. "How about some of my famous French toast?"
Chris grinned back. "Famous huh? Well can't say no to that."
Laughing they headed back into the house.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra woke early but he didn't really think he had actually slept. He had dozed through the night and then would wake from a recurring nightmare about Vin leaving him.
He staggered into the kitchen and made a pot of Starbucks. As it brewed he checked his answering machine. He was surprised by the number of calls from Chris. He glanced at the clock. Chris was always an early riser, so he decided to call.
"Larabee."
Ezra couldn't help smiling to himself. Even at home Chris answered the phone like he was at work.
"Mr. Larabee, I am returning your numerous calls."
Ezra sat in the kitchen watching the pot drip.
"Ezra. What are you doing up so early? Is Vin there?"
Ezra drew designs on the table with his spoon.
"Couldn't sleep and no, Mr. Tanner is not here. I imagine he is at home."
"Is everything okay?"
Ezra hesitated. What could he say? Hell, what should he say? His eyes strayed to the pill he had taken from the Vin's and left on the table. Should he tell Chris about that?
"Ezra? Are you still there?"
"Yes."
Chris sighed into the phone. "Get dressed and get your ass over here. Buck is making his famous French toast, we'll save you some."
Ezra could hear Buck laughing in the background.
"That isn't-"
"No argument. If you aren't here in an hour, I will come and get you."
With that Chris hung up. Ezra grinned at the phone until the thought struck him. That was the second man who had hung up on hi lately.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra arrived at the ranch a little later. Chris and Buck were sitting on the porch as he drove up.
"Have I missed the famous French toast?" Ezra asked as he closed the car door.
"Nah," Buck laughed, "we decided to wait on ya."
"That was -"
"Come inside Ezra and don't complain. It's too early for all of us."
Chris said as he got up to open the door and ushered Ezra inside.
Ezra sat at the table as Buck moved around the kitchen making breakfast. Chris poured coffee and then went to stand by Buck.
"You want some help?"
"Nah, sit down and entertain Ezra while I work my magic."
"Magic?" Chris snorted. "Last time you cooked I had to smash the smoke detector to make it stop, the dogs from two counties were howling."
Ezra couldn't help but laugh.
"Don't you believe him, Ezra," Buck demanded. "Chris demands that I cook every time he makes me come out here."
"Make you come out here? I'm thinking of charging you rent. JD keeps asking if you still live there."
Chris and Buck shared a smile at the laughter they heard from Ezra. They had been worried when he finally showed up. One look told them plenty. Something was wrong but the direct approach didn't work on Ezra.
Chris and Ezra sat at the table as Buck moved around the kitchen making breakfast. Ezra filled them in on what had happened after he and Vin had left.
"And this guy calls?" Chris was amazed.
"Yes, he seemed to enjoy the fact that I had answered the phone, as if he expected me to be there." Ezra kept his eyes glued to his coffee cup.
"He knew your name?" Buck turned from the stove to ask.
"He acted like he knew all about me. "
Buck placed French toast on a plate and then brought it to the table.
After everyone filled their plates, they sat eating in silence for awhile.
"Think it could be more than that Ezra? I mean he's been acting different. He's been irritable, moody, he doesn't look like he's sleeping." Chris hesitated and glanced over at Buck.
"Do you think he might be on something too?"
Ezra moved his food around on his plate. He guessed now was the time to say something. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bag. He laid it on the table and pushed it across.
"I saw a bag in Vin's pocket with a variety of pills. I took this one thinking I could find out what it was."
Buck picked up the bag to study the small pink pill inside. "This looks like Ecstasy. Least from the classes I went to."
Chris got up and leaned over Buck's shoulder to see it better. Ezra noticed the way Chris glanced down at Buck and Buck leaned back towards Chris. Good lord why didn't they just get on with it.
"What are some of the symptoms Buck or do you remember?" Ezra asked.
"Well, it varies with people but they get all touchy feely. Have a lot of energy which is why the kids like to take it at those dance clubs and it lowers inhibitions plus the sense of pleasure."
Ezra nodded.
"Course as with anything there are the down sides. Fatigue, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances. Also irritability and restlessness. That's all I remember right off hand."
"Those could fit Vin." Chris said sitting down. "So what should we do, confront him first or test this pill out?"
"Let's test it first Chris. Just so we know for sure." Ezra looked at Chris pleadingly.
"Okay, we'll just try and keep an eye on him. At least that guy isn't around here. How many pills did you see in that bag?"
"Maybe a hand full but they weren't all the same."
"Want me to go by and check up on him later?"
"I think that would be best. I, I don't think I'll be seeing him today."
Ezra got up and poured some more coffee. "I'm going to sit on the porch for awhile."
+ + + + + + +
Chris came out on the porch awhile later. He sat on a rocker near Ezra.
"You doing okay?"
Ezra shook his head. "Honestly, no. I'm numb. My mind is jumping from the fact that Vin cheated on me, to he's doing drugs. I know the drugs is the more pressing of the two but..." Ezra's voice trailed off and he wiped at his eyes.
"I know ya love him, Ezra. We're going to figure this out. And you know he loves you."
"Does he?" Ezra looked up then, his eyes red. "How can you think that? I don't. It isn't like he had a one night stand. I could probably get over that but he was with this guy for two weeks. Who is to say it wouldn't have been longer if Vin hadn't come back?"
Chris shifted his feet. He had thought the same things but hadn't wanted to bring them up.
"But he is back,Ezra. He's back where he belongs and first we need to get him off these drugs. From what Buck said Vin must have taken one at Inez's and that's what changed his mood."
Ezra laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, it changed him alright."
Ezra got up. "I think I'm going to go home, see if I can get some more sleep. I can't think straight. Thanks for breakfast and will you thank Buck for me too?"
"You're welcome to stay here, Ezra. You know I got extra rooms."
Ezra studied Chris and then said, "Do me a favor,Chris. I know I am the last to give out advice at the moment, but tell Buck how you feel. I think you will be surprised to find out he feels the same."
Chris felt his face flush. "What?"
Ezra chuckled and waved as he headed for his car.
+ + + + + + +
Vin woke later but still felt tired. He glanced at the clock. Why hadn't Ezra called? Shit, he couldn't believe that Jack had told Ezra about them. He needed to talk to Ezra and try to explain. He rubbed his head, his brain felt all fuzzy. God Damn Jack. Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut? Who asked him to tell Ezra? What was he going to say? Oh sorry Ezra, I accidentally fucked some guy for two weeks. Why had he done it? Hell, it had seemed the right thing to do at the time but now he was feeling guilty again. Guilty and depressed.
Vin glanced at the baggy he had laying on the bedside table.
Maybe he should take another X? That would cheer him up. He didn't have many left. Should he get Jack to send him some more or maybe check around town for some? No, that was a stupid idea. He was an ATF agent, how would that look if he got busted? What he is tried to score from some undercover agent?
That made him think about Ezra again. He picked up the phone.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra pulled the Jag over half way down the road from Chris'. He stomach rolled, he opened the door and vomited.
What was he to do? He loved Vin with all his heart. Should he tried to fight for him? Did he need too? Or had Vin made his choice and Ezra was to be the last to know? How had Vin gotten mixed up with Ecstasy? Vin wasn't even much of a drinker, he always liked to be in control of himself. Ezra's cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Ezra! I've been calling and calling. Can I come over...and... talk? Or you can come over here?"
Ezra closed his eyes and wiped at his face.
"I am not home at the moment."
Vin paused. "Oh, then ya want to come over here, or I can meet ya someplace. I need to talk to ya."
Ezra hesitated. He didn't want Vin coming to his house, it would be harder to get Vin to leave. But then he didn't relish the thought of going to Vin's and being reminded of last night.
"How about we meet at Starbuck's on Main? At the outside tables? I can be there in forty-five minutes."
It was Vin's turn to hesitate. "Okay. I'll meet ya there."
Ezra hung up before Vin had a chance to say anything else.
+ + + + + + +
Vin got there before Ezra. He got a large coffee and grabbed a table away from everyone else. He would have rather talked to Ezra at Ezra's apartment, not that he knew what he was going to say. He needed to try and explain about Jack and he didn't think Ezra would give him another chance. He shifted in his seat, damn he was tired. He hoped the coffee would help clear his head.
Ezra arrived a few minutes later. He had parked in the parking garage across the street. He noticed Vin as he walked towards the building. He acknowledge him with a wave before going inside to get his own coffee.
Vin drummed his fingers on the table waiting for Ezra to come back out. He looked up when Ezra approached and felt his stomach drop. What was he going to say?
"Ez."
Vin noticed Ezra flinch when he called him that. Vin fiddled with his cup and looked everywhere but at Ezra.
Ezra sighed but said nothing. He was going to wait for Vin to say whatever it was he wished to say.
"Ez..Ezra, I'm sorry." Vin mumbled.
Ezra raised an eyebrow but still said nothing.
"Sorry if I was a little...rough last night-"
Ezra couldn't help it, he snorted.
Vin blushed. "I didn't mean to hurt ya, I just..just got carried away." He mumbled again.
"Carried away?" Ezra couldn't help the sarcasm in his voice. "Carried away?" He repeated.
"I'm sorry. I..." Vin's voice trailed away. "Jack told me he talked to you," Vin said softly.
Ezra hadn't expected it but the sound of that man's name on Vin's voice sent a flame of hatred through him.
"Don't you mention that name to me. How dare you mention mine to him?"
"I didn't plan nothing Ezra, it...it just sort of happened."
Ezra laughed. "Just sort of happened? For two weeks it just sort of happened? You weren't gone that long, couldn't you keep it in your pants? Were you just horny or is this something more?"
Vin said nothing.
"What do you want,Vin? Absolution? Shall I forgive you and wish you a happy life? Did you ask me here to tell me it is over between us?"
Ezra didn't want the answers to any of these questions. He wanted to fall on his knees and beg Vin not to leave him, not to throw away what they had, what they had been building together. He wanted things back the way they had been. He wanted to punch someone out; he just wasn't sure who.
What Vin said next shocked him.
"I don't know, Ezra. I don't know anymore."
"Do you love him?" Ezra heard himself whisper.
Love? Vin hadn't ever thought of that word with Jack. He craved Jack, like...well like a drug. Jack made him feel alive, sexy, he made him feel with his whole being. Vin toyed with his coffee cup. When he looked up he saw that Ezra had left.
+ + + + + + +
Chris called Vin into his office Wednesday afternoon.
"Close the door." Chris said as Vin entered.
Vin nodded and sat down.
Chris studied him. Vin looked like shit. There were circles under his eyes and it looked like he had lost weight. Not that Vin had a spare ounce to lose. Chris picked up the folder on his desk.
"Got this report from the instructor at the weapons seminar. You failed."
"What?" Vin looked up from where he had been studying his feet.
"He says here," Chris flipped through some papers," that you were in the top five of the class until half way through. Then you stopped participating, were late to classes and then failed the test."
Chris put the papers down and stared across the desk at Vin.
"Something you want to tell me about?"
"No." Vin resumed looking at his feet.
"No?" Chris' voice rose. "You piss away a month of training and all you can say is no? What the hell happened there? And what they hell has been wrong with you since you got back?"
"Nothing happened."
"Have you looked in the mirror lately? You were skinny as a rail before and now you'd make a skeleton look fat. You ain't been sleeping and your irritable as hell."
Chris paused again but Vin said nothing.
"Are you on something?"
"Am I what?"
Chris saw the look of panic in Vin's eyes. The first look of anything since he'd been back.
"You heard me. Do I need to get you drug tested? Make it a part of your permanent file?"
Vin looked down again and began to fidget with the leg of his pants.
"Ain't nothing wrong with me."
"Is that a yes, I need to order a test?"
Vin stood and leaned over the desk. He glared at Chris.
"Stay out of my damn business. Nothing wrong that I can't handle."
"Forty-eight hours. I'll give you that long to tell me what is going on or I will drag your ass in for testing myself."
Chris stood and leaned so he was almost nose to nose with Vin.
"Don't think I'm playing with you Vin. You are my friend and I'm not going to sit and watch you piss your life and your career away."
Vin stared at him and then turned and stalked out of the office.
+ + + + + + +
Vin sat staring at his computer screen. He was supposed to be writing up a report on the seminar he had attended but he hadn't gotten further than a couple of paragraphs. It was Friday morning and his deadline with Chris was almost up. He was glad this week was almost over. Ezra was ignoring him and the others were treading lightly around them both. He rubbed his hand against his leg where he could feel the pills in his pocket. They were like a life line. If things got too bad he could always open the bag. Just then he felt his cell phone vibrate.
"Hello?"
"Hey Vin, how's it hanging, man?"
"Jack," Vin got up from his desk and walked toward the restrooms. "Where you been?"
"Here and there. I'm going to be flying out your way tonight, was wondering if we could hook up?"
"You're coming here? That's great. Want me to pick you up at the airport?"
"Nah, got some friends picking me up. I'll be staying at the Grand Hotel. Why don't you come by, say eight? Room 602."
"Sure. Man, it will be great seeing you."
"Yeah, okay, see you then."
+ + + + + + +
Ezra tried to pretend he hadn't heard the phone call. So Jack was coming to town and Vin was all excited about it. He wondered what this guy wanted, was he here to tell Vin he'd missed him? Loved him? Ezra got up and headed towards the break room as Vin came back to his desk.
+ + + + + + +
Vin arrived at the Grand Hotel right at eight. He went up to the room and knocked. He was surprised how excited his was about seeing Jack again. He hadn't had a chance to ask him to bring him some X but he knew Jack would have plenty on him.
"You must be Vin."
Vin was surprised to see a tall blonde guy answer the door. He looked like a body builder, he had lots of huge muscles. His hair was cut really short.
"Ah, yeah,I'm Vin. Is Jack here?"
The man smiled. "Jack's here. He's on the phone. Come on in."
He stepped aside to let Vin in. He checked out Vin's ass as he walked by and gave the thumbs up sign to Jack.
"That's right. Room 602. Twenty minutes? Sounds good. Just leave it outside the door."
He hung up the phone then walked over to Vin and gave him a one armed hug.
"Vin. You're looking good,man. Did Mike introduce himself?"
Vin shook his head.
"Vin, this is my old friend Mike. Mike this is Vin, I was telling you about Vin." Jack grinned over at Mike.
"Nice to meet you,Vin." Mike held out his hand which Vin shook.
"How about a beer, Vin? We got some in a cooler. Let me grab you one. Make yourself at home."
Jack went into the bathroom and came out with a bottled beer which he had opened.
"Here's to old times Vin."
He touched his bottle to Vin's and then Mike's. They exchanged a look.
"So you visiting Denver with Jack?" Vin said after taking a long pull of his beer. It tasted kind of bitter.
"Nah, I got family that lives here. Visiting them for a week, Jack thought he'd fly in."
"Yeah Vin, I thought you'd like to meet Mike and party with us."
Vin took another drink. "Party? Y'all wanting to go to a club."
They both laughed.
"No, Vin. Party like you and me were doing in San Francisco. You know, a threesome?"
"A what?" Vin looked at him blankly.
"Three-some." Jack said slowly.
He nodded to Mike who came up behind Jack and began to rub his hands over Jack's crotch.
"You, me, Mike. I brought some more X. Just like you like."
Jack grinned over at Vin and moved his hips back against Mike.
"Ah, no I don't think so Jack. I ain't in ta that." Vin said shaking his head.
"No?"
He went and sat on the bed beside Vin. Jack ran his hand up Vin's leg and grabbed his crotch.
"How about you being 'in to' Mike? I'd sure like to watch that."
"Watch?"
"Shit, Vin. These drugs been fucking up your brain? I thought you wanted to be with me, can't you do one little thing for me after I came all this way?"
Jack stood up and glared down at Vin.
"But Jack, I thought it was gonna be you and me tonight."
Jack smiled.
"We can start with that. You don't mind watching do ya Mike?"
"Nope. I'd like to see you in that tight ass." He grinned at Jack.
Vin looked from one to the other. What the hell was going on here? He went to stand and felt dizzy. He sat back on the bed. He finished off the rest of his beer and sat the bottle on the floor.
"Feel okay Vin?"
Jack ran his hand up and down Vin's back. Vin felt his skin tingling. Vin placed his hand on Jack's leg. He moaned as Jack leaned closer and kissed him, long and deep.
"Mike I think our little party favor is feeling more in the mood now."
Jack pulled back from the kiss and licked up Vin's neck. Vin leaned his head to the side.
"He sure looks that way." Mike said as he knelt by the bed and began to stroke Vin's thighs.
Mike started to unfasten Vin's pants as Jack buttoned Vin's shirt, pushing him back on the bed. Vin tried to sit up but Jack caressed his chest.
"Relax Vin. We're gonna take good care of you."
Jack began to lick Vin's nipples as Mike removed his pants.
"We all set partner?" Jack looked over at Mike.
"We're set."
+ + + + + + +
Vin woke up laying on a bathroom floor naked. He lifted his head from the vomit he was lying in, the movement make him retch again.
He groaned as he tried to move. He felt like he'd been beaten up. He opened one eye again. It looked like he was in a hotel room. He glanced around but didn't see his clothes anywhere. A towel was lying over one leg. He laid his head back down and concentrated on breathing, willing the nausea to pass. Where the hell was he?
When he began to feel the nausea fading he tried to sit up again. He stifled another groan. His ass felt split into. With a shaky hand he wet a wash cloth and began to clean himself off.
What the hell had happened? He tried to think but his brain refused to hold a thought. He pulled himself up and staggered into the other room. It was empty. He saw empty beer bottles and food containers scattered around the room.
Room? What was he doing here? He worked his way to the bed and sat on the edge. The sheets were twisted and smelled of sex.
Jack? Hadn't he been here with Jack? He looked around but saw no signs of anyone, not even any luggage.
How the hell was he going to get out of here? And where was here? Was he even in the same place? He couldn't tell.
He glanced at the phone. Who could he call? Chris? Hell, no. Ezra? Vin blinked back tears. How the hell could he call Ezra? But who else could he trust?
+ + + + + + +
"Hello?" A sleepy voice answered the phone.
"Ez?"
"Hello?" Ezra said a little louder.
"Ez, it's me." Vin began to cry.
"Vin? What's wrong? Are you all right?"
Ezra sat up in bed, he glanced at the clock, three am.
"No, can you come get me? Please,Ezra. I gotta get out of here in case they come back."
"Vin, where are you? Tell me where you are and I'll come get you."
"I don't know." Vin stammered. "I don't know where I am Ez, or...or what the...the hell happened to...to me. Please,Ez, come and get me."
Ezra gripped the phone tighter. He turned on the light and began dressing.
"Can you see anything around you? Any indications of where you are?"
Vin looked around the room.
"I'm...I'm in a hotel room."
"Good. Look on the phone. Is there a name on it? Room number?"
Vin looked at the phone on the table.
"Grand Hotel. Room 602."
"Okay. You lock the door. Put something up against it. I'll be there in ten minutes."
"I'm sorry Ez." Vin continued to cry softly.
"I'll be right there Vin. Don't you worry."
+ + + + + + +
Ezra checked his gun as he careened through the deserted streets. He hoped like hell that Jack person showed up, he planned on putting a bullet right between his eyes.
Luckily he met no police as the navigated through the nearly empty roads. He made it to the Grand Hotel in ten minutes. Ezra hurried to the elevator, flashing his badge at the man behind the desk. He paced in the elevator waiting for it to reach the sixth floor. As soon as the doors were open he was out and heading down the hall.
Ezra stopped in front of room 602 and listened. He couldn't hear anything. He knocked.
"Vin? It's me Ezra." He said softly as he drew his gun. He stood to the side of the door.
He could hear faint noises inside and then sounds of the door being unfastened. Ezra tried not to gasp at the sight of Vin opening the door.
Vin was naked, his body covered in sweat and his hair wild. He was shaking and looking past Ezra.
"You alone?"
"Yes,go back inside."
Ezra helped him back in and as Vin turned he saw the semen and lubricant that had run down his legs and dried. He tried to beat down the rage that was building up inside.
"Vin, where are your clothes?"
Vin stood there by the door, shivering and clutching his arms around himself. Tears ran down his face.
"I...I don't know."
Ezra glanced around the room. He took in the beer bottles, food container and the over powering smell of sex. He spotted Vin's clothes scattering around the floor. He gently took Vin by the arm and led him back to a chair. He went into the bathroom and wet a wash cloth.
"Here. Let me help you get dressed and then we can get out of here."
"Yeah, we need to get out of here. Before they get back."
Vin stood meekly as Ezra began to help him get dressed.
"They? Who was here Vin?"
"J..Jack. And some friend of his. Can't remember his name."
Ezra closed his eyes briefly. He turned Vin around and quickly wiped Vin's legs off as best he could. Then he helped him into his pants and boots. He picked up Vin's shirt.
"Let's get you out of here."
"Yeah, we gotta get out of here."
Vin began to shake more.
"Do you know what they gave you?" Ezra asked as he led Vin out the door. He glanced down the hall but did not see anyone.
"No, I don't remember taking nothing."
Ezra helped Vin down the hall and then out to his Jag. He headed for the hospital.
"I feel sick." Vin leaned his head against Ezra's shoulder.
Ezra put an arm around Vin and pulled him closer.
"I'll take care of everything Vin, don't worry, you'll feel better soon."
+ + + + + + +
Ezra waited until six am to call Chris from the hospital. They were keeping Vin at least overnight and had him hooked up to an IV. He was sleeping soundly when Ezra went out in the hall to call Chris.
"Larabee."
Ezra found he couldn't talk. His voice had gotten stuck in his throat.
Chris looked down at the caller ID.
"Ezra? You alright?"
It stuck Ezra that he had said the same thing to Vin earlier. He had pushed aside his fear and anger while he was helping Vin and now it all came rushing back to him.
"Ezra? Damn it tell me where you are."
Ezra tried to talk but nothing came out, tears fell silently down his face.
"Damn it Buck, it's Ezra but he ain't saying nothing."
Ezra heard a rustling sound and then Buck's voice came on the line.
"You alright,pard? Tell us where you are and we'll come get you."
Ezra dropped the phone. Chris and Buck were saying the same things that Ezra had said to Vin. He tried to get control of himself but he couldn't stop shaking. A nurse who was familiar with the men from Team Seven approached and picked up the phone.
"Ezra? Ezra?"
"Buck? Is that you?"
"Who is this?"
"This is Lisa at Denver General."
"Is Ezra alright?"
"Well," she rubbed her hand down Ezra's back, "it's Mr. Tanner that has been admitted. He will be fine."
"Thanks Lisa. Tell Ezra we will be right there."
"You're welcome Buck."
+ + + + + + +
Ezra was stretched out on a cot in Vin's room, Chris and Buck were in chairs with their feet propped up dozing when Vin woke up several hours later.
He looked around the room and then at the men beside his bed. He did a quick inventory. He didn't appear to be shot. Had some case gone bad? He tried to turn over and the pain in his ass brought back some of it.
Hell, did they all know? He tried to pull the covers up, he was still cold.
"Let me help you."
He looked over to see Ezra getting off the cot. Ezra unfolded a blanket from the foot of the bed and draped it over Vin. As he reached the head of the bed, Vin put a hand out and lightly grabbed his wrist.
"Thank you Ez..Ezra."
Ezra smiled wearily and ran his hand along Vin's face.
"No need to thank me."
Vin pulled Ezra's hand to his lips and placed a kiss on his palm.
"I can't say I'm sorry enough. I don't remember all that happened, 'cept you coming to get me." Vin mumbled into Ezra's hand.
A tear ran down Vin's check and Ezra moved his thumb to wipe it away.
"Rest,you need to flush those drugs out of your system. You were given a big dose of Ecstasy mixed with GHB. You're going to feel out of it for awhile."
Ezra pulled his hand out of Vin's and moved the covers back up Vin's chest.
"Y'all gonna stay awhile?"
"We'll be here while you sleep."
"Okay. I am still tired."
Vin closed his eyes and was soon back to sleep.
+ + + + + + +
"Let's all go back to the ranch. We can take care of him there."
Chris, Buck and Ezra all stood out in the hallway. It was around noon and the doctor had said they could take Vin home as long as he rested and drank plenty of fluids. The higher dose of Ecstasy Vin had ingested, along with his body already being run down had severely dehydrated him. His temperature and blood pressure were still slightly elevated.
"I would rather go back to my condo Mr. Larabee." Ezra said curtly.
He needed to be alone. All the turmoil of the past few weeks had taken their toil on him.
"You need looking after too Ezra." Buck said and placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Come on, let me and Chris take care of you too."
Buck smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at Ezra, who had to grin at the thought of Chris and Buck waiting on him.
"I'm too tired to argue with you gentlemen."
Chris grabbed his heart and staggered back.
"Get a doctor Buck! I'm having a heart attack and I think Ezra here has had a stroke!"
Buck burst out laughing and Ezra grinned.
"Ha Ha Mr. Larabee. I'll leave now if you don't mind and stop by my place and then Mr. Tanner's to pick up some clothes."
Ezra gave his two finger salute and left before they had a chance to respond.
Chris and Buck exchanged a glance.
"You think they're gonna be all right Chris?"
"I don't know Buck, I hope so." He started down the hall. "If you'll get Vin ready, I'll go check him out."
+ + + + + + +
"Where's Ezra?"
The three men rode in Chris' Black Dodge Ram toward the ranch. The day had turned cloudy and it had begun to rain, perfect to match everyone's mood.
"He went to get you some clothes, he's meeting us out there."
"Are you sure?"
Chris looked in the rear view mirror to see Vin in the quad seat.
"He said he'd met us there."
Vin nodded and leaned back to stretch his legs across the seat. He took a long drink of the water that Chris had insisted on stopping to get.
"Don't blame him if he doesn't." Vin muttered.
Chris looked over at Buck.
"You wanna talk about it?" Chris said as he looked in the mirror again.
"What's ta tell. I've been a stupid ass. Worse than that. I didn't think Jack would do something like that."
"You barely know the guy, Vin." Buck said.
Vin waved a hand.
"Yeah,I know that. Thought I did though. It was those damn drugs. I thought I knew what I was doing before but.... whatever shit they gave me," he paused and took another drinking trying to steady his voice.
"I only remember bits and pieces. Flashes really. I keep hoping they ain't real." His voice trembled.
"We'll make him pay,Vin. Don't worry."
Vin shook his head slightly. "I don't care about him." He looked up and met Chris' eyes in the mirror. "What about Ezra? He's never gonna forgive me. What if I've lost him forever?"
"Give him time,Vin. This is a lot for him to handle all at once. I know he still loves you. Let's concentrate on getting you better."
Buck reached back and patted him on the leg.
"Drink up. Doc says you'll feel better once you get hydrated and flush all that shit out of your body."
"He give you any information on that shit they gave me? Know it's a little late now but I'd like to find out just what X is."
"Yeah," said Chris. "He gave us some stuff to read. Don't worry Vin." Chris glanced back over his shoulder and met his eyes. "We'll figure this all out together."
Vin gave him a weak smile and then closed his eyes.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra paced back and forth across Chris' porch. He had walked to his car several times, even getting in once. He didn't want to stay here. He wanted to go off alone some where, figure out what to do. He wanted to stay and see Vin, make sure he was okay and kill whoever had hurt him. And he never wanted to look at Vin again. Every time he looked at Vin his mind's eye pictured Jack pounding into Vin and Vin moaning Jack's name as he came.
Shit, didn't he have enough drama in his life? He'd done fine in his life before Vin, before this team even. There was no way he could remain with the team after this. He couldn't look at Vin every day, wanting him and hating him.
Ezra stopped at the steps. No, that wasn't right. He didn't hate Vin. God help him he wished he did, wished he could. He took a shuddering sigh. He loved Vin to the core of his being and this was tearing him apart.
He headed down the steps and had just made it to his car when Chris' truck appeared.
"Looks like we got here just in time." Buck said quietly.
Vin had been dozing in the back seat but with Buck's words he sat up.
"We're here?"
Ezra bowed his head. Damn it, why hadn't he left earlier? Now it was too late. He reached into his car as if he was getting something and then straightened up, putting a false smile on his face.
"I was beginning to think you had gotten lost Mr. Larabee."
Chris looked from Ezra to Ezra's car as he got out of the truck.
"You know doctors Ezra, they move at their own pace."
Buck helped Vin out of the truck and Chris moved closer to Ezra.
"You okay?"
Ezra smiled at the look of worry on Chris' face. "I'm fine Mr. Larabee. Just weary."
Chris nodded. "Let's get you two settled then, you and Vin can have-"
"No, Chris." Ezra said softly. "I prefer to be in a room by myself. If you don't mind."
"Sorry, force of habit." Chris grinned ruefully.
"Yes, I'm finding out how many things come from habit."
Chris watched as Ezra headed down to the other spare room.
+ + + + + + +
Vin woke later and layed in bed, staring at the ceiling. He reached over for the bottle of water by his bed. He sat up some and took a long drink. Funny how thirsty he was now, he had been before but hadn't known the reason.
He ran his hands through his hair. How the hell had he fucked up his life so bad? He never felt any sympathy in the past for drug users, people who said 'well it was just a little' fill in the blank for the drug of choice. That was before, before he was one of the drug users.
Vin squeezed his eyes shut. Drug user? Him? He knew he had been stupid from the very beginning. He'd been to the 'Just say no' classes, he knew about people slipping drugs in unattended drinks, but that happened to young kids. Not experienced ATF agents.
What about when you found out? Vin groaned. That damn voice was back. Where had it been three weeks ago? Well, what about when I found out? He sighed. Jack. He had been so wrapped up in the sex mixed with the drug. The excitement of it, the thrill. Yes, the fact that it was wrong. He hadn't thought of any of that then, he hadn't had time. When the thoughts had crept in, then he'd drown them - in booze, sex, whatever.
Now his system was cleaning up and his mind was clearer. There was nothing to dull the pain or block out the hurt. Not his hurt or the hurt he'd caused Ezra.
There was no way for Ezra to ever forgive him. Hell, he wasn't sure he forgave himself. But should he let Jack get away with ruining that part of his life too? Could he let Jack take his career, the man he loved and leave him with nothing?
Maybe he should. Maybe he was time to throw in the towel and say to hell with it. Go someplace else and start over. How could he face Ezra again, not to mention Chris and Buck? How could he trust his own judgement anymore much less expect them too?
Vin got up and turned the shower on. He' taken a long, hot shower when he'd gotten to Chris' but he still felt dirty.
He paused as he past the mirror. Who was that man looking back at him? He wasn't the man Vin thought he knew. Some stranger stared back at him. Some bastard that had ruined his life.
Vin stood under the hot water, hoping it would wash the dirt away that was deep down. Deep in his soul.
Oh my God! Vin leaned back against the shower wall. AIDS! Shit, he had never thought about that. How had that not entered his mind? Damn, just how fucked up was he?
And Ezra? He had put Ezra at risk too. Jesus, could things get any worse.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra sat outside on Chris' porch trying to decide what to do. Shit, didn't he have enough drama in his life? He'd done fine before Vin, before this team even. There was no way he could remain with the team after this. He couldn't look at Vin every day, wanting him and hating him.
Ezra stopped. No, that wasn't right. He didn't hate Vin. God help him he wished he did, wished he could. He took a shuddering sigh.
He loved Vin to the core of his being and this was tearing him apart. Why hadn't Vin trusted him enough? Ezra never would have blamed Vin for what had happened. He would have been on the next plane to California, been there for Vin. But Vin hadn't trusted him enough, loved him enough to let him help.
He shook his head. He didn't believe that. He knew it was Vin's pride talking. The same pride that wouldn't let Vin tell anyone he'd been assaulted in the first place. Vin was use to taking care of himself and Ezra knew this was a blow to his self-confidence.
But where did that leave them? They just couldn't say 'I'm sorry' and go back to the way things were. Ezra was no longer sure how he fit into Vin's life or where he fit. Their relationship had been built on love and they had shared their first experiences with a male lover together. Now Vin had seen the opposite side, what if Vin decided it was too much? What if Vin didn't want to continue with this life style?
And what did he want? Could he just forgive Vin for all that had happened? He knew that part of it was the Ecstasy but Vin hadn't been drugged up when he ran off to met Jack in that hotel.
Ezra shook his head and got up. He walked to the Jag and drove off.
+ + + + + + +
Chris sat dozing on the couch. Buck had gone home after they discovered Ezra had left. Chris had gotten Vin to eat a little lunch and then he had gone back to bed. Chris was watching a football game when he phone rang.
"Larabee."
"Hey, how are things going?"
"Vin's asleep. Got him to eat a little. No word from Ezra. I tried calling. You coming back over tonight, Buck?"
"Uh, no, Chris. I promised JD I'd help him get ready for his camping trip this weekend. Remember he's taking Casey?"
"Oh, yeah I remember."
"You know, JD." Buck laughed. "He's waited till the last minute to get all the gear ready."
Chris tried not to look disappointed and smiled feebly.
"You'd think the kid would learn. Well, okay then. Guess I'll see ya."
"Yeah, glad we could help out Vin."
"Me too."
"Well, I'd better go. We'll be up all night packing if I know JD."
"Night."
"Night, Chris."
Chris sat staring at the television. He was disappointed that Buck wasn't coming by tonight but he didn't want to think too much on why. For the past month Buck had spent every weekend out at the ranch. Chris had found one reason or another to ask Buck over and he had gotten used to Buck saying yes.
+ + + + + + +
Chris was out on the porch swing drinking coffee early Sunday morning. Here he was a week later in the same place but a lot had happened in just seven days.
He had no idea what to do about Vin. He still hadn't been able to get in touch with Ezra. There was no sign of Jack and Mike. Chris had given their descriptions to the local police department.
Chris shifted so he sat cross-legged in the swing. He leaned over the edge to pick up his coffee. Last week he'd been sitting here waiting for Buck to wake up. Chris sighed. He wasn't a man to sit around analyzing his feelings but he didn't know what to do about Buck.
He had thought about what Ezra had said, that Buck returned his feelings. But did he want to take that chance or make that change in his life? Did he have the guts to take that step? What if Ezra was wrong and he approached Buck and lost his friendship? Maybe it was safer to let things stay as they were. There had been no one special in his life since Sarah and Adam died. He'd managed this long on his own, mostly due to having Buck as a friend.
Chris heard the sound of a vehicle coming up the drive. He broke into a big grin when he recognized Buck's red Chevy pickup.
"Hey Buck. You get JD off okay?"
"Yep, got him packed and outfitted. He better not lose anything. I had to borrow some of it."
Buck got out of his truck and slammed the door heading up the steps.
"Got anymore coffee left?"
"Yeah, it's still pretty fresh."
Chris took a deep breath as Buck went in. Okay, here was his chance. He'd drop some hints and how Buck responded.
Buck came out a few minutes later with a cup of coffee and an extra cup.
"There wasn't much left in the pot so I put on a fresh one, brought you out what was left."
Chris smiled as he held out his cup and Buck poured the extra in his. Buck sat the extra cup on the railing and sat beside Chris in the swing.
"Mite chilly this morning. Looks like fall will be here soon."
Buck blew on his coffee and took a sip.
"Been thinking about that too, I need to start getting the ranch prepared." Chris said.
Buck nodded. "The summer went quick. Or maybe we're just getting older." He chuckled.
"How long have we know each other, Buck?"
Buck cut his eyes to look at Chris. He took another sip of coffee. "About twelve years now."
"We know each other pretty well don't you think? We know how each other thinks, what the other likes."
"This a quiz, Chris?"
"No, just thinking. Most things that are on my mind, I usually already know your opinion on wouldn't you agree?"
Buck turned in the swing slightly so he was facing towards Chris.
"We know each other pretty well. Why?"
"I've just been thinking about....well things....and I thought since I was thinking 'em...that you might be...and ya know....we might....be thinking the same thing."
Buck stared at him with a bewildered expression on his face.
"You did, huh?"
Chris flushed.
"Damn it. Ya know I ain't good with words."
"You do seem to be having trouble this morning." Buck couldn't help but laugh.
"Hell, I'm trying to say....well....I been thinking....Ezra said....I was hoping...."
Buck smiled patiently and then looked towards the door. "Looks like you got more company."
Chris turned and saw Vin coming out the front door. Damn it. He scowled.
"Guess we'll finish this later." Buck patted Chris on the leg as he got up and smiled.
Chris suddenly stopped scowling. Had Buck known all along what he'd been trying to say? He'd kill him.
"Hey Vin. You're just in time for a fresh pot of coffee. Looks like you could use it," Buck said as he leaned against the railing.
"Sure could use some. Thanks."
"Help yourself," Chris said.
Chris looked at Buck but Buck just grinned. He remained leaning on the railing until Vin came back out and took a seat in a rocker. Then Buck sat on the swing again.
"You okay, Vin?"
Vin shook his head and looked up at Chris.
"I've really fucked things up, Chris, and I don't know how to fix 'em. My life, job and most important Ezra."
They all sat quietly sipping their coffee until Vin began to talk.
"I don't know. We've both said a lot of stuff that's gonna be hard to just take back. I don't think me lying to him is gonna help much either. I need ta get tested too."
"Yeah," said Chris. "Nathan said he was going to see if Rain could help."
Vin gave him a weak smile.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra sat in his condo looking at the bag that was packed and by the door. He took a deep breath. This was for the best, they needed some time apart. Vin would have Chris and the other men to help him, men Vin trusted.
And he would have time to get his head and heart sorted out.
+ + + + + + +
Chris tried not to be too impatient. Vin had decided late Saturday night that he wanted to go home. Chris and Buck had driven him back to Pugatorio. Buck had offered to stay and help him the next day to unload hay in the barn. Chris was now sitting in the den flipping channels as he waited for Buck to get out of the shower.
Chris heard the shower cut off and went into the kitchen to grab a couple of beers. He stopped in the kitchen door. Buck was sitting on the edge of the couch wearing only sweat pants. He was leaning forward watching a football game. Chris had a wonderful view of Buck's long back from his shoulders down to where the pants hugged his ass. Chris watched as a few beads of water ran down Buck's back to be absorbed by the material. Chris' mouth went dry.
Maybe now wasn't the time to try and talk to Buck. Maybe he should wait. He nodded to himself. Yes, he'd wait.
"Find a good game to watch?"
Chris handed Buck a beer and sat on the other end of the couch. Buck smiled and took a sip.
"Thought we might finish that conversation you were trying to have earlier."
"It'll keep." Chris took a hasty drink.
"Nah, it sounded important, Chris. What was it?" Buck looked thoughtful. "You said something about thinking something."
Chris scowled. Was Buck making fun of him? He gave him a hard look.
"Yeah, that was it." Buck smiled. "You were thinking something, that I might be thinking or so you thought."
"Shut up, Buck. I said it wasn't important."
"No, it sounded important. I got to thinking about you thinking and I think you thought something like this."
Buck reached over and took Chris' beer from him and sat both on the coffee table. He smiled at Chris' puzzled look. He scooted closer to Chris and put one arm on the back of the couch.
"I was thinking I was about here and you right there."
Buck leaned closer and locked eyes with Chris. He saw Chris' eyes widen and then his pupils dilate. Buck smile slightly and gently touched his lips to Chris'. Chris sat frozen until Buck began to softly kiss him.
Chris watched in horror as Buck leaned closer to him. It was happening! Buck was going to kiss him, if he was going to turn back it had to be now. He froze as he felt Buck's warm lips touch his, Buck's mustache tickled his mouth. Buck began to place soft kisses against his lips and Chris moved forward.
Chris felt a jolt of longing as their lips parted and their tongues touched. Both men reached out to pull the other closer and they angled their heads for better access.
Chris pulled Buck toward him so that Buck was sprawled across him on the couch. He ran his hands down Buck's damp back feeling the hard muscles under the skin. He moaned his pleasure against Buck's mouth.
Buck moved his hand behind Chris' neck, pulling Chris closer and deepening the kiss. He seemed to want to devour Chris. For Buck, nothing had tasted this good.
They broke apart gasping and stared into each others eyes.
"That...that was a hell of a kiss, Buck."
Buck eyes twinkled and his mouth twitched.
"That was only the first one, Chris."
Chris grinned slowly, a wicked light infusing his eyes. He let his fingers slide through Buck's hair and then tilted Buck's head. Chris nibbled the side of Buck's neck and then sucked the place where neck met shoulder. Buck groaned.
"Can you guess what else I'm thinking, Buck?" Chris said as he kissed and nibbled along Buck's shoulder.
Buck shuddered. He moved so he was lying flush against Chris, moving his hips so their erections rubbed against each other.
"Think I'm thinking the same thing, Stud," Buck breathed.
Chris chuckled throatily.
It was Chris' turn to moan as Buck's hand traveled down his side and Buck reached between Chris' legs.
"Guess you are at that," Chris gasped.
Chris tried to spread his legs further to give Buck more room. One leg fell off the couch so he tried to shift, rolling them both off the couch onto the floor.
Chris looked down at Buck who was now under him and laughed.
"Think we need more space. There's a lot of you I wanna see."
Buck flushed. He wrapped his arms around Chris' waist and kneaded Chris' firm, hard ass.
"There are a few spots on you I wanna check out for myself. You thinking what I'm thinking?" Buck grinned.
"I believe my bed might be just the right size."
Chris moved to get up but Buck tightened his hold. He moved his hand to lower Chris' head down for another passionate kiss. Their tongues exploring and tasting new territory.
Chris leaned his head to rest on Buck's as they broke apart.
"I think number two was a little better than one," Chris panted.
"I improve with practice."
"That you do. If we don't get up now, I'm not letting you up 'til much later."
Buck sighed.
"Guess we better then cause I need more room to work."
+ + + + + + +
Chris looked at his watch and then at the elevator. Where was Ezra? He was late even by Ezra's own standards. He reached for the phone just as it rang.
"Larabee."
"Chris, the is Travis."
"Morning, Judge. What can I do for you?"
"Sorry for not calling you sooner, I just wanted to let you know we'll put a replacement in for Ezra in the next couple of days. I can make it sooner if you need me too."
"Replacement? What are you talking about?"
"Didn't Ezra tell you? He said he was leaving you word."
Chris glanced around his desk and then at this computer. His 'new mail' icon was on.
"I haven't checked my mail yet. Why don't you fill me in?"
"Well, I called Ezra Saturday. We have this weapon smuggling case in South Carolina and we needed someone to go in undercover. I was having a hard time finding the right person, it will involve being under for a couple of month with no outside contact until it goes down. I was delighted when Ezra said yes right away. He is our best undercover agent."
Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to groan. "He's already left?"
"Yes, he left Saturday evening. There isn't a problem is there, Chris?"
"No, no problem. I want to be kept informed as much as possible, Judge."
"Sure, Chris. I'll get that replacement over to you as soon as possible."
"Thanks."
Chris hung up and sat slowly back in his chair. He hadn't thought of checking on Ezra this weekend. He had only been worried about Vin and then thinking about Buck. He sighed as he got up. He might as well break the news to the team now.
He stepped out in the hall and over to the bullpen area. Everyone was either at their desks or loitering around.
"I need to see everyone in the conference room right now."
Vin glanced over at Ezra's desk.
"Ez isn't here yet, Chris."
"Doesn't matter."
Chris turned and walked down the hall to the conference room.
The others exchanged looks. JD looked from Buck to Vin.
"Think everything is okay? Ain't like Ezra to be this late?"
Vin looked at the clock. He was surprised to see it was after ten. When everyone had taken a seat Chris cleared his throat.
"We are going to be getting a new undercover agent in a few days. Ezra has been loaned out for another assignment with the South Carolina division. I want you to make the new guy feel welcome."
"What? Ezra's gone? When did that happen?" Vin stood up and looked around.
"A replacement? How long will Ezra be gone?" Josiah looked worried. He had meant to talk to Ezra Friday evening but he hadn't gotten the chance. He had tried to call Ezra all weekend but had only gotten the answering machine.
"Why did you loan Ezra out?" Buck said.
Chris held up his hands.
"This was the Judge's idea. He talked it over with Ezra and he left Saturday. Judge said they needed the best undercover agent and we know that's Ezra. He'll be gone until the deal goes down, a few months."
"Months?" Vin was still standing, glaring at Chris. "Where the hell is he?"
"That is all I know. He isn't allowed any contact until whatever it is happens."
Vin slumped back into his chair and stared at the table.
Buck and Josiah looked at Chris, who shrugged. Nathan moved to sit by Vin.
"That's all. I'll let you know when the new guy is coming," Chris said dismissing them.
Everyone left but Vin and Nathan. Nathan put a hand to Vin's shoulder.
"I talked to Rain. If you can come by today, she can get you tested. You'll have the results in a few days."
"Thanks, Nathan. I appreciate it."
"You need anything, let me know. It's probably for the best." Nathan hesitated. "Ezra being gone, that is. Give you time to think things through."
Even though Nathan had given his support to Vin and Ezra, he still didn't think Ezra was the best choice for Vin. Here was more proof of that. When Vin needed Ezra the most, Ezra took off. Leaving seemed to be what the man did best.
Vin got up and headed back to his desk. He didn't know how he was going to make it with Ezra being gone and him not being able to even talk to him. He kicked himself for not going over to see Ezra and trying to explain. But he planned on being there when Ezra did get back and then he'd work on making things right between them again.
The End
