Regrets

Vin stood at the window, staring out into the night. Snow had started falling earlier that evening, a few inches covered the ground. Watching it fall reminded him of Denver. He felt a lurch in his stomach, or was that his heart? He wasn't sure he had one any more. He was sure it died the day he left Denver.

His musings were interrupted by voices. He heard Samantha and Jack laughing in Jack's office. He smiled in relief. He had tried to bury the past by sleeping with Samantha. It hadn't worked. Every time he'd tried to lose himself in the moment, visions from the past came bursting through. He noticed Samantha was spending more time with Jack. He'd known from the start that they had a history. Maybe that is why he chose her. He didn't know.

He sighed. It was time he left. The work day had been over for awhile but he'd looked out at the snow and he'd been lost. Lost in the past and lost in regrets. But what could he do? Nothing. Everything had been decided for him, the only choice he had had was to leave. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he was in New York. Truth was he hated the city. At the time he had wanted to get as far from Denver as possible, as far from anything that reminded him of it. Well New York fit that to a tee. It hadn't stopped the memories though and he still found plenty to remind him of his times there.

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. He shrugged into his coat, turning off his computer. He left quietly so he wouldn't disturb the others. He hailed a cab and headed for his apartment.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra woke as the flight attendant touched his arm.

"We will be landing in a few minutes, sir."

She smiled as she moved down the aisle. He rubbed a hand over his face and glanced at his watch. 8 AM. What was he doing flying around the country at this ungodly hour? He didn't want to even think of what time he had been when he'd left Denver. Well that's what you get for volunteering, Ezra. He sighed. He had volunteered because Denver had become too small. He felt claustrophobic every where he went. He reached under the seat for his briefcase. He was meeting Agent Barnes from the New York ATF division. A criminal who had escaped from Colorado had been arrested in New York. He had been released before the alias he was using had thrown up red flags. Chris had asked for a volunteer to go and help capture him. So here he was. He cleared his mind of the reasons he had been thinking of leaving Denver and tried to concentrate on the reason he was landing on a snowy runway in New York City.

+ + + + + + +

"So, how ya like New York so far, Agent Standish? We got enough snow for ya?"

Agent Barnes smiled over at him as weaved in and out of traffic. One hand on the wheel, the other on the horn which he seemed to enjoy blowing. Three inches of snow had fallen so far but it wasn't enough in Ezra's mind to cover the dirt. Everywhere he looked the snow was brown. The snow that clung stubbornly to the tops of cars was the only white he saw. He saw plenty of cars though. Cars and taxis and people. Every one of the million or billion, he couldn't remember, people who lived in this shitty city must be out walking or driving today.

"Yeah."

Agent Barnes laughed as he swung around a slowing car and cut off a bus. He threw up a hand and a few curses as he continued down the road.

"Is it much further?"

Ezra was tired. He wanted to check into a hotel and try and sleep. Not that he'd been sleeping well for awhile. He turned back to Agent Barnes. He didn't want to think about that.

"Not much. We'll meet with the boss, show ya around and then I'll take ya to your hotel."

"Is there a Starbucks around here?" Ezra looked hopefully out the window.

"Yeah, got one of those on the first floor. We're a big city, country boy. Not like out West where you're from."

Ezra smiled, not bothering to correct him. He glanced back out the window. He hoped this case was over soon and he could leave.

+ + + + + + +

Vin got off the elevator and headed for the Starbucks. He kept telling himself he was going to stop drinking their coffee. Every cup, every glimpse of their logo made his groin twitch. He smiled. He wondered if anyone else got a hard on thinking of Starbucks coffee? He stopped dead in his tracks. He had heard that laugh, the one that haunted his dreams. He heard it again and looked as one of the elevator doors closed. Was that? Could it be? No, he told himself. You were thinking of Starbucks and you just imagined you heard him.

+ + + + + + +

Three hours later and finally he was getting to leave to go to the hotel. Agent Barnes offered to take him to get lunch but he declined. Ezra followed to where Barnes had parked his car, glancing around at all the people milling around in the snow. He froze. He saw three men and a women getting into a car. That looked like... No, he told himself. It couldn't be. What would Vin be doing here? He followed the car with his eyes but never got another good look at the man who had gotten in the back.

"You coming?"

"Yes." Ezra got in the passenger side.

"Hotel's just a few blocks. Probably best ya just take a cab while you're here. We'll reimburse ya. You can look over the case files tonight. We start around 9. Ya need anything my number's on the folder."

"Thanks, Agent Barnes. I appreciate it."

"Name's Tony. If ya wanna go out, see some sights tonight; give me a call, okay?"

"I will, though I think I'll be staying in tonight. Jet lag." Ezra smiled.

Tony nodded.

The few blocks took them twenty minutes. Tony insisted on coming in with him to make sure the hotel had his room. He waved goodbye and disappeared back into the teeming mass. A few minutes later, Ezra stood in his room, gazing out the window. How did anyone live in a place with so many people? He'd become accustomed to Denver which was a big enough city for him now.

He ran a bath and hung up his suit as he waited for the tub to fill. He wanted to soak in the hot water and then sleep. As he sank into the steaming water, he thought back to the man he'd seen. It had been only a glimpse but for a second he had thought it was Vin. The man's hair had been shorter though and he'd been wearing a suit. Ezra smiled, closing his eyes. No, Vin wouldn't be wearing a suit unless forced and he sure wouldn't have cut his hair.

+ + + + + + +

"Yes, Miss. I would like a Venti hazelnut mocha latte, extra hot, with whipped cream and 4 shots of espresso."

"It comes with three."

Ezra's mouth tightened into a grimace.

"I understand that. I want four."

"You gotta pay for the extra one."

"I know."

She nodded and rang up his order, calling it out to the man making the espresso drinks. Ezra handed over his money and went to wait for his drink.

He picked up a paper that was lying on a table and stood reading it.

"Hey, hold the elevator, will ya?"

Ezra dropped the paper and looked around. He saw an elevator door closing but didn't see who got inside. He would have sworn that was Vin's voice. His heart was beating a mile a minute and when he put the paper down his hands shook. It wasn't Vin. He scolded himself. He didn't know why he kept thinking of Vin. He could understand it when he was in Denver but why here? He retrieved his drink and headed upstairs.

+ + + + + + +

"Something wrong, Vin?"

Vin started. He hadn't heard Danny come up behind him.

"No, just working up that report."

Danny grinned. "You've been sitting there for ten minutes not moving."

Vin looked sheepish. "Have I?"

"Who is she?"

"What?"

"Some woman got your head all turned around?"

"No. Mind just wandered a little, that's all."

Danny winked then headed back to his own desk.

Some woman, Vin thought. No one here knew the real Vin. Did he know who the real Vin was anymore? He glanced at the small photo on his desk, the one he kept saying he was going to throw away. It was a picture of Team Seven. They had all been on a camping trip and had gotten another camper to take their picture. He kept that one on his desk because it was safe. Safe for him to look at and safe for others to see. That picture had been before. Before he'd found the love of his life and then lost it all. He closed his eyes and then went back to his report.

+ + + + + + +

Vin kept one ear tuned for that laugh. Had he imagined it? Maybe it was just because he'd been looking at their picture. What would Ezra be doing in New York? He headed into the coffee shop and stopped dead in his tracks. His heart quit beating, and then began to pound so hard he thought he'd faint. There in front of him, sat Ezra Standish. Ezra sat at a small table reading the paper, a cup of coffee in front of him. Vin slowly approached, waiting for Ezra to disappear like smoke.

"Ez?"

The paper slowly lowered so Vin could see those green eyes he'd missed. Eyes that were now wide with shock.

"V....Mr. Tanner. What," Ezra cleared his voice and tried again, "What are you doing here?"

"Might ask you the same thing."

Ezra could not believe it. Vin Tanner stood there looking at him. His hair was cut short and he wore a suit. Vin Tanner with short hair and a suit, talking to him like nothing was wrong.

"I'm here working on a case."

Vin nodded his head.

"And you?"

"Oh." Vin felt his face redden. "I live here. I work upstairs." He gestured lamely.

He was in shock. He'd dreamed of this day. Dreamed about it and dreaded it all the same. He thought New York was a safe place, to get as far from Ezra as possible, with no chance of seeing him again. Now all he could do was stare. Ezra was more handsome than he remembered. Vin wasn't sure if he wanted to grab him and hug him or knock the shit out of him.

"I see."

Ezra stood up and folded the newspaper. He picked up his coffee cup trying to keep his hand from shaking.

"If you'll excuse me, I must be going."

Ezra was half way towards the door before Vin's brain ground into action.

"Wait a minute."

But too late. Ezra was lost in the crowd. Vin plopped down in the seat Ezra had vacated.

What are you gonna do, Tanner? His brain asked.

I don't know.

Don't lie to yourself. You wanna see him.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

He made it clear it was over. That's why I left, remember?

But he didn't make it clear.

That was true. Vin thought. He didn't know why Ezra had broken things off. He hadn't believed Ezra's reasons then and he still didn't. Maybe this was his chance. Vin got up and went to stand in line. He'd just find Ezra and ask him.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra was trying to figure out how to breathe in the elevator. Vin, here. What the hell was Vin doing here? He'd volunteered for this stupid assignment to get his mind off Vin. God, he looked good, even with his hair short.

"Stop it."

Ezra didn't realize he'd said this aloud until he noticed several people looking at him. He glared at them. What was he going to do? How could he stay in this town with Vin? Vin worked in the same building for Christ sake. Ezra took a deep breath and moved off the elevator.

"So, Agent Barnes. How much longer do you think you'll require me?"

Ezra stood in the doorway of Tony's office. Tony looked up from the papers

he was reading.

"You feel all right? You look kinda pale."

"I'm fine." Ezra waved a hand.

"Couple more days, I guess. Got a few leads." He held up the papers.

Ezra nodded then turned, heading down the hall to his office.

+ + + + + + +

Vin didn't get a chance until 11 to begin his search for Ezra. He started with the most obvious place first. He rode the elevator down to the fifth floor. He'd avoided this floor since he'd come to New York. He pushed through the doors that said, "Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms New York Division"

"May I help you?"

The receptionist smiled and then glanced at the ID around Vin's neck.

"Yeah, I'm looking for Agent Standish. He's here from Denver."

The receptionist looked down at her desk and then back up.

"Yes, Agent Standish is working with Agent Barnes. Down the hall, to the right. Room 512. Do you want me to ring him?"

"That's okay."

Vin's heart began to pound again as he headed down the hall. His feet slowed on their own. What was he going to say? Hell, they couldn't talk here. Maybe he should come back later. He stopped outside room 512. He took a deep breath and entered.

"Excuse me."

Agent Barnes looked at the man standing in the doorway.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Ezra Standish."

Tony's eyes narrowed. He'd seen this guy around the building; he thought he worked up on the eleventh floor.

"You with the FBI aren't you?" Tony glanced at his ID.

Vin smiled and held out his hand.

"Vin Tanner, I'm with the Missing Persons."

Missing Persons. That was rich. He was a missing person.

Tony stood and shook Vin's hand.

"You know Ezra?"

Vin thought it sounded strange to hear this strange say Ezra's name. Like he knew him.

"We worked together before. I saw him downstairs earlier. Is he here?"

Tony shook his head.

"Took off about an hour ago."

Vin looked at his watch, and then smiled.

"Guess I'll catch him after lunch. Thanks."

"He won't be back today. Try back tomorrow."

Vin caught the hostile tone in Tony's voice. It was subtle but obvious.

"Thanks, I'll do that."

Vin headed back toward the elevator. Well, it may be a big city but he did work for Missing Persons didn't he? How hard would it be to find one Southern?

Tony sat back at his desk. Was this guy the reason Ezra hadn't taken the rest of the day off? He'd said he wasn't feeling well but then had said if anyone came asking for him for Tony not to say where he was.

+ + + + + + +

"Larabee."

"Chrisss? Fuckin' Chris Larabee?"

Chris frowned at the phone. Who the hell was this? The voice sounded drunk but familiar.

"Who is this?"

"Assk you first. Fuckin' Chrisss who sent me here?"

"Ezra?"

"Damn straight it's fuckin' Ezra!"

Chris held the phone from his ear as Ezra shouted. He looked at the clock on his desk. It was 10 AM. What was Ezra doing drunk?

"Ezra, what are you doing drunk? Aren't you in New York, working?"

Chris tried to keep his voice calm, but it rose slightly.

"Drunk? I am most ccertainly NOT drunk. I am inhib..inhib....I've been drinking some."

"What happened?" Chris sighed.

"HE is here." Ezra hissed.

"He?"

"HIM!"

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.

"Ezra, who are you talking about?"

"VIN!" Ezra shouted.

"What? Vin is there?"

Ezra held the phone away from him eyeing it incredulously.

"Isn't that what I just said?" He shouted at the receiver.

"Are you all right?"

As soon as he said it Chris realized this was a stupid question.

"FINE! I'm bloody fine!" Ezra's voice boomed.

Chris picked up his stress ball and tossed it against the glass in the door. Buck turned at the sound and Chris waved him in.

"Did you talk to him?"

"He walked up to me like it was nothing. Like I was nothing."

Ezra fought to control himself. He took another large swig from the whisky bottle he held.

"What is he doing there?"

Buck entered, closing the door behind him. He raised an eyebrow. Chris motioned him to sit and mouthed Ezra. He put the phone on speaker.

"He lives here." Ezra had gone from screaming to barely a whisper. He laughed humorlessly. "He works in the same building."

"Vin is living in New York?"

Buck's eyebrows shot up.

Ezra laughed again. "Of all places for you to send me."

"Look, come back. We can send someone else."

"Part of my punishment." Ezra's voice had gone softer still.

"Ezra?"

The line went dead.

"Vin is in New York?"

Chris replaced the receiver.

"Seems so."

"What are we gonna do? Ezra don't sound so good."

Chris shook his head.

"No, he doesn't. See how fast we can get a flight out. Tell JD to pull some strings if he has too."

Buck nodded standing up.

"Don't worry, Chris. Maybe this is what they need to get things straight."

"Or one of them shot."

+ + + + + + +

Vin looked at his watch again. It was finally quitting time. He'd managed to track down the hotel where Ezra was staying. At first he thought of calling first but then figured that might not be a good idea. Ezra could be slippery when he didn't want to be confronted. Vin frowned thinking back to that night almost two years ago.

+ + + + + + +

Vin had arrived at Ezra's around 7 PM. Vin still hadn't moved all his stuff in even though he and Ezra had been together over six months. Ezra had asked him when he was going to and Vin kept making excuses. Ezra had been acting strange the last week. More distant. Vin had decided he'd just be honest and tell Ezra he was scared to make that final step. He put his key in the lock and turned it and nothing happened. He jiggled the door knob and Ezra opened the door.

Ezra's face was pale. Vin had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something had happened.

"What's wrong?"

Ezra shook his head and turned from the door. Vin noticed boxes stacked against the living room wall.

"What's this?" Vin gestured towards the boxes.

"I took the liberty of packing your stuff. I believe you will find it is all there. I've arranged for a moving van to help you." Ezra glanced at his watch. "They should be here any minute."

"My stuff? What the hell are ya talkin' about?"

"It's over."

"What?"

Vin stood there, mouth open. Ezra stood by the kitchen door, arms crossed. He looked anywhere but at Vin.

"Whadda ya mean, it's over? Is this because I won't move in?"

Ezra made a noise that was half laugh, half sob.

"No. I'm tired of – this." He waved a hand. "I tried to make a go of it but it's – it's not who I am."

"You mean us?"

"Us? There is no us, there never was. I'm tired of pretending."

"Pretending?"

Vin could hear the blood pounding in his ears.

"Yes." Ezra sneered. "I'm tired of pretending I enjoy this. I'm sick to death of it. Just take your shit and get out."

"I think you better explain just what the hell has gotten into you. I ain't going nowhere until you do."

Vin moved closer and Ezra circled around him.

"Can't you tell when you've been conned? This was an experiment gone bad. I thought I could play along but I can't any more."

"Ez, tell me what is wrong?"

"I don't love you; can't you get that through your thick skull? I never have and never will."

A knock on the door made them both jump. Ezra hurried to the door.

"A-1 Moving."

"These boxes there." Ezra pointed to the boxes by the door.

The man picked up the largest and head back out.

"Please do not make a scene. Just go. Let's forget these past few months ever happened."

Vin stood there staring at Ezra as the moving man made several trips.

"You can stand there and tell me you don't love me? That what we've had meant nothing?"

"We had nothing, Vin. It was all a sham. I never loved you."

+ + + + + + +

Vin clenched his hands into fists. He left then as the moving man had taken the last box out. Ezra had refused to speak to him about it any more. Vin hadn't been able to take working side by side with him so had arranged a transfer. He had left, telling no one where he was going.

Vin took a steadying breath. Maybe now he would get some answers from Ezra.

+ + + + + + +

Vin raised his hand to the door, hesitated and then knocked. His gut twisted as he waited. After what seemed forever but was only a moment, the door opened.

"Buck?"

"Vin, fancy meeting you here."

Buck leaned against the door jam.

"What are you doing in Ezra's room?" Vin said slowly. "Are you and Ezra...?" He left it there, fear griping him.

Buck laughed. "Don't think Chris would take too kindly to that." He turned back into the room. "Would you?" he called over his shoulder.

Chris appeared behind Buck.

"What the hell did you do to your hair?"

"Yeah, and what's with that suit?" Buck added.

"Shut up." Vin said angrily, a flush creeping up his neck. "The FBI dresses better."

"So I see." Buck wiggled his eyebrows.

Chris disappeared behind him, laughing, reappearing in a few seconds.

"Let's go downstairs and have a drink." He said as he slipped past Buck.

"But I-"

"You can come back up in awhile. We need to talk."

Buck waved and closed the door. Chris put a hand on Vin's back and steered him down the hall to the elevator.

"So, you're in New York." Chris took a sip of his beer.

He and Vin sat in a booth by the window of the hotel's restaurant.

"Yeah." Vin looked out at the traffic, almost at a stand still.

"You like it?"

Vin looked back at Chris and took a sip of his own beer.

"It's different."

Chris laughed, a wide grin splitting his face. Vin smiled too.

"It's different all right."

"Thought it was best."

"You and Ezra have some big fight?"

Vin gave a harsh laugh. "Something like that."

Chris nodded and took another drink.

"So why are you here?"

"Here?"

"Here," Chris said gesturing. "You planning on trying to set things right?"

"Set things right?" Vin tightened his hold on his glass. "I didn't mess them up. I'm here," he stressed the word, "to find out once and for all what happened."

"This was Ezra's doing?"

"Yes." Vin hissed. "He never would explain. Just..just said it was – over." Vin looked back out into the growing darkness.

They sat quietly for a few minutes.

"Ezra hasn't said anything to you?" Vin cringed inside at the hopeful note in his voice.

"No." Chris sighed. "Not that we haven't tried. You know how he can be."

A brief smile passed over Vin's face. Yes, he thought, I know how he can be.

"Does he?" Vin stopped. "Is he.....seeing anyone?"

Chris hid a smile by taking another drink.

"No. He took a few women out but there hasn't been anyone."

Vin nodded. He was ashamed to feel relieved.

"I need ta talk to him, Chris. I need ta know."

"I know. He's been drinking. You know how he gets. Just be prepared."

Vin nodded again and finished his beer.

"Thanks, for talking with me."

"I'm your friend and his. We all miss you, Vin."

Vin smiled. "I know."

"Send Buck down. We'll wait here."

Vin smiled. Nodding again and headed to the elevator.

+ + + + + + +

"So, Mr. Tannah, what brings you heah?"

Ezra sounded very Southern, which meant he'd been drinking, a lot. Not a great sign.

"I wanna know the truth. Why did you shut me out?"

"Shut you out?" Ezra grinned. "You've been in New York for too long, Mr. Tanner."

"Cut the bullshit, Ezra and just tell me." Vin clenched his fists. Already Ezra was goading him.

"Now, now. I thought you wanted to talk. Though I don't know what about. I thought this was settled."

Ezra got up to pour another drink.

Yes, Vin thought. He knew Ezra. Knew him well enough to know Ezra was trying to piss him off to distract him.

"I want to know why you ended things. Why you ran?"

"I am not the one that left the state. I believe you were the one that ran and to New York of all places."

"I didn't run. I couldn't stand working with you, seein' you every day. What happened?"

Ezra began to pace. "I told you. I was bored. I had no more interest in that charade."

"It wasn't a charade. You loved me."

Vin grabbed him by the arm to make him stop moving. Ezra shook him off.

"This side of you is unbecoming. I told you it was over."

"Tell me why." Vin's voice was rising. "The truth for once. Or are you capable of telling the truth? Maybe we've always been wrong to believe you. Maybe everyone else was right and you've never been nothing but a conman. Chris should never have given you a chance."

Ezra looked as if he'd been slapped but Vin kept on.

"I'm the fool to believe all your lies. You've never cared about anyone but yourself. Had to try and buy your friends, didn't you, you lying cock sucker?"

"Cock sucker?" Ezra said slowly, his voice low. He forced a smile. "I believe that is the area in which you excelled. I wonder if your new boss here would agree or has he had the chance to enjoy your talents?"

Vin's fist connected with Ezra's jaw before he knew what he was doing. Ezra fell back and hit the small table before landing on the floor. Vin turned and stormed out.

+ + + + + + +

"Well pard, whadda ya think?" Buck stretched his long legs under the booth as far as they would go. He rested his legs against Chris'.

"I don't know. I hope they ca work it out. They're both miserable but too fucking stubborn to admit it."

Buck laughed. "That they are."

"Godamn." Chris muttered, getting up.

Buck turned to see Vin striding across the lobby, face set.

"I'll go check on Ezra."

Chris nodded and headed after Vin.

The only good thing Chris could see about New York at the moment is no one could get away fast. Vin stood at the curb, waiting for a taxi.

"You okay?"

"I don't know why I bother."

"Come back inside."

"No, I'm going home."

"Come on, Vin. Tell me what happened."

Vin stood there, glaring at the traffic, his whole body stiff with anger. Finally he nodded and followed Chris back inside.

+ + + + + + +

"I don't know why I let him get to me."

Chris chose to stay quiet. Telling Vin it was obvious he still loved Ezra would do no good at the moment. Vin took a sip of beer and continued.

"It was a waste of time trying to get the truth out of him. I don't think even he knows it."

"Did you tell him that?"

Vin shrugged. "In so many words."

Chris stifled a groan. He could imagine how Ezra had reacted.

"And?"

"He pissed me off and.....and I hit him."

Chris rolled his eyes. "I'm sure that helped motivate him."

"Damn it, I didn't mean to do it. It...it just happened. One minute I'm standing there and the next Ezra's on the floor."

Chris let out a sigh.

"Guess I won't be trying ta talk to him anymore while he's here."

Chris grinned. "That's the first good idea you've had."

Vin grinned back. "Yeah, well. I ain't suicidal."

Chris smiled. He'd noticed the more time he'd spent with Vin, the more the old Vin came out. His Texas drawl was slowly coming back. He had barely recognized the FBI Vin.

"Well, Buck's up there checking on him. Maybe tomorrow –"

"No, Chris. I'm not trying again. If he wants ta tell me, he will. I know ya can't force him to do anything."

Chris nodded. But he wondered what had made Ezra push Vin away when anyone would tell they loved each other?

+ + + + + + +

"You all right?"

Ezra sat on the small couch, a washcloth held to his bleeding lip. Buck held out a bucket of ice.

"Thanks." Ezra reached out for some ice. "I'm fine.'

"You look it. You say something Vin took offense too?"

"Me?" Ezra laughed.

Buck shook his head smiling. Ezra took another large drink.

"How does life get so fucked up, Buck? One day things are wonderful and the next...." Ezra shrugged.

"Don't know. You know you can fix it if ya want."

Ezra shook his head. He finished his drink and poured another.

"Sometimes," Ezra's voice was becoming more slurred, "sometimes the right thing to do hurts more than what you want to do. Sometimes ya gotta do what you don't want."

"Maybe you need to go to bed."

"No," Ezra shook his head again, "no, I'll have dreams." He drank some more. "Why did she do this?" he muttered.

"Do what?"

"This." Ezra gestured vaguely. "Hasn't she fucked up my life enough?"

Buck hardly moved. Maybe they would finally find out what was wrong and he had a terrible feeling he already know who "she" was.

"Who?" Buck said softly.

"That bitch who calls herself my mother. Isn't that punishment enough? But I had to do it, I couldn't let her."

"Course you couldn't."

"He doesn't understand and I can't tell him. That was part of it. Oh, she thought it through all right. Mother covers all the angles."

"Angles?"

"She said she'd ruin him. Make sure everyone knew. I didn't care about me, but she'd drag his name through the mud. You know how proud he is being a Tanner."

Ezra's voice had a note of pleading for Buck to understand. Buck nodded and Ezra continued.

"It would kill him if she ruined his name so I agreed. I'd end things with him, make sure he never wanted to see me again. I didn't know how hard it would be, Buck. I'd rather she just killed me. Why does she hate me?"

Ezra's face was damp as he looked up at Buck. Buck took the glass from Ezra's hand, sat beside him and pulled him into a hug. He murmured nonsense as Ezra cried.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra was passed out on the bed when Chris returned. One look at Buck's face and Chris knew there was trouble.

"Is he okay?"

Chris sat on the couch beside Buck.

"For the moment. Finally found out what the trouble was?"

"That bad?"

Buck nodded. "Maude."

Chris closed his eyes. He should have known. The one person who could force Ezra into anything.

"What has she done now?"

"Threatened Vin."

"What?"

"Yep, the one thing she knew would work. She didn't like Ezra being with him. So she threatened to ruin Vin, smear his name is Ezra didn't end it. Ezra said he knew that would kill Vin."

"Vin cares more about Ezra than that."

"Try telling him." Buck jerked his head toward the bed where Ezra lay.

"Well, what do you wanna do?"

Buck leaned back on the couch, eyes closed.

"I don't wanna betray Ezra's confidence. You know he is a hard man to get to trust ya."

Chris stood up, grinning down at Buck. He kicked his boots off. He straddled Buck's legs, sitting down.

"I think I have the solution to your problem."

Chris began to kiss along Buck's jaw. Buck tilted his head back.

"What problem?" Buck reached his hands around to rub Chris' ass.

"Let old Chris handle everything."

+ + + + + + +

Lying in their own bed later, Chris shifted back against Buck. Buck's arms tightened around him. He nuzzled into Chris' hair at the nape of his neck.

"Do me a favor?"

"Let me get my strength back and I'll do more than that." Buck's warm breath caressed Chris' neck.

Chris smiled and rubbed his hands along Buck's arms. He never would have believed he could love anyone like he loved Buck. He had guilty moments when he felt he was betraying Sarah but they were fewer. He was still surprised that ladies man Buck had declared he loved him. Buck could have any woman he wanted, what did he want in a middle aged, ex-alcoholic like him?

"I smell that brain of yours turning." Buck placed small bites along Chris' shoulder.

Chris picked up one of Buck's large ones. How could something so large and masculine make him feel like a quivering mass? He kissed Buck's palm.

"Promise me, if we have a fight or I do something stupid, you'll tell me? I don't want.."

Buck ran his hands up Chris' muscular chest. He moved closer as Chris sighed, Buck's fingers brushing his sensitive nipples.

"You ain't ever getting rid of me, pard. You start looking at some young stud and ole Buck's gonna have to get ugly."

He bit Chris' neck and sucked hard. Chris groaned.

"And you know how I hate ugly."

Buck's hand moved down Chris' flat stomach stopping to fondle Chris' growing erection.

"Guess you aren't as tired as you thought?" Buck chuckled in his ear.

"Guess not."

Chris turned to capture those lips that teased and tormented him. No, Buck wasn't getting rid of him either. And if anyone tried, there would be hell to pay.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra woke up and it was still dark. He turned slowly to look at the bedside clock. 4 AM. His head pounded and his stomach rolled. He slowly turned on his back. He listened but didn't hear anyone. He guessed Buck and Chris had gone to their own room. He felt a sharp pain. He envied them. They knew each other so well; he didn't think anyone could break them up. He imagined them lying together and thought of Vin. He closed his eyes and tried to remember the feel of Vin curled up behind him. He opened his eyes. This was pointless. He reached for the phone. Forty five minutes later he was dressed and heading down to the front desk.

+ + + + + + +

Chris woke with Buck sprawled across his chest, one leg between his. Chris smiled and ran a hand through Buck's mess brown hair. He loved waking up with Buck. It was time Buck moved in with him. He didn't know why he hadn't asked him. He ran a hand down Buck's back.

"Mmmmm." Buck murmured.

"Wake up, stud."

"You ready to go again? We need to get a motel room more often, old dog."

"I'll show you who's an old dog."

"Ow!" Buck yelled as Chris pinched his ass.

"Is that anyway to wake up your lover, lover?"

Buck wrestled with Chris until he pinned his arms down to the bed.

"That's better." Buck straddled Chris' hips, moving slowly. "I like ya like this, all helpless."

Buck tightened his hold on Chris' wrists and moved closer to kiss him. Buck moaned as Chris kissed him back then suddenly he was on his back.

"Whose helpless now, stud?" Chris leered down at him.

"Think I need to go to the gym more." Buck moved his hips again.

It was Chris' turn to groan.

"Let's try out that big shower." Chris murmured as he kissed along Buck's neck.

"That sounds like a plan." Buck ran his hands down Chris' back, running a finger along his tight ass.

Chris pressed back into Buck's hand.

"Not yet, stud."

Buck pulled Chris down for another kiss and then tossed Chris off.

"Last one in the shower has to look for the soap."

Chris laughed as he leisurely followed Buck into the bathroom.

Buck turned the water on so it was nice and hot. He poured some of the shower gel they had brought in his hand. Chris liked to complain about it but he knew Chris liked it as much as he did. He ran his hands over Chris' chest.

"MMmm you smell good enough to eat."

Chris was glad the water was hot as he hoped it hid the blush he felt. Only Buck could make him blush. Buck's grin told him he knew.

Buck pushed Chris back against the shower wall as he ran his soapy hands up Chris' chest and down his arms. He leaned in for a kiss as he ran his hands down Chris' back and cupped Chris' ass. He rubbed his erection against Chris'. Chris raised one leg giving Buck more assess as he pulled Buck's head down. Buck pulled back and grinned.

"Not so fast there, stud. I got plans for you."

Buck turned Chris so the water hit his chest. Buck stood behind him and ran his hands up and down his body, making sure the soap was gone. He turned Chris back around and leaned his against the wall.

"Stay put."

He gave Chris another slow deep kiss and then started down his neck. Chris tried to wrap his hand around Buck's erection but Buck chuckled and moved further down Chris' chest. Buck stopped at Chris' navel and poured more soap in his hands. As his tongue played with Chris' navel his hands rubbed Chris' ass. Chris moved his legs further apart. Buck stopped moving until Chris opened his eyes and looked down at him.

"I love you, Chris. Nobody but you."

"I love you too, Buck."

Buck smiled and then took as much of Chris as he could in his mouth. His fingers played with Chris' butt until he relaxed and then he slipped a finger in.

Chris gripped Buck's shoulders. He tried not to thrust his hips and moved back into Buck's hand.

Buck's other hand began to fondle Chris' balls. The three sensations were overwhelming.

"Buck."

"Don't get ahead of me."

Buck moved his mouth down to suckle Chris' balls and moved his fingers more.

"That's it lover. Relax."

Then suddenly Buck stopped. He stood up and kissed Chris hard then spun him around so he was facing the shower wall.

Buck soaped himself up and stood behind Chris, rubbing his soapy erection again Chris' ass.

"Do you want me?" Buck whispered in Chris' ear as he pressed himself against Chris.

Chris pushed back.

"Do you want me?" Buck repeated as he bit Chris' neck and rubbed his fingers along Chris' nipples.

"Yes, I want you, Buck. I want you inside me."

Buck ran his hand along Chris' erection, moving him back and then he pushed in with one stroke.

"God Buck."

Buck stood there, stroking Chris' erection.

"Please, move."

Buck began to move slowly. Chris leaned his forehead against the shower wall. He moved his hips back, widening his stance. Buck's hand mimicked the movement of his hips. He leaned against Chris' back, kissing and nibbling.

Soon he began to speed up his pace. He gripped Chris' hip with one hand while the other moved. Chris covered Buck's hand with his own.

"I can't hold on, Chris."

"Let go, Buck." Chris breathed.

And they came together. Buck pressed up tight again Chris. They stood there breathing hard. Slowly Buck withdrew and Chris turned to kiss him.

Chris let his hands roam over Buck's strong body.

"Buck?"

"Hmmm?" Buck was nibbling Chris' neck.

"Did you wear a condom?"

Buck's head came up.

"God, Chris. No, I got caught up and.... I forgot."

Chris kissed him. "No harm done. I don't think we wanna make a habit of it."

"Chris, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I wasn't thinking about it either. I just noticed you didn't have one on. I was hoping you didn't leave it behind." Chris wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm willing to check if ya want me too." Buck grinned.

"I don't think that's necessary."

Buck kissed him and then turned him around again.

"Buck!"

"Now, Chris. I won't feel right unless I check."

Buck began to kiss down Chris' back again. He bit one cheek as he knelt on the shower floor. He let his tongue run down the crease of Chris' cheeks.

"Buck."

Chris didn't know if he was trying to stop him or encourage him.

"I've always wanted to do this." Buck murmured.

His tongue flicked along Chris' butt. Chris spread his legs again and Buck chuckled. Chris gasped as he felt Buck's tongue enter him. Buck's hand fondled his balls as his tongue probed.

"Jesus, Buck."

Chris couldn't believe he was getting hard again so soon. The thought of what Buck was doing, the forbidden ness of it was turning him on. Buck's hand moved faster. Suddenly Chris moved away.

"Chris?"

Chris turned off the water and grabbed Buck's hand. He led him out of the shower and back to the bed.

"Chris?"

Chris pushed him back on the bed. He straddled Buck and then turned so he faced Buck's feet. Buck put a pillow under his head as Chris lowered his mouth.

Buck's hand continued to stroke Chris' erection as his tongue continued its earlier journey. Chris leaned back as his tongue worked Buck's cock. His hand rolled Buck's balls as his other hand played with Buck's ass. Chris wet a finger and toyed with Buck's entrance.

"Please, Chris."

Buck swallowed Chris' cock as Chris' finger entered him. Buck couldn't believe they were doing this. They had never tried this position before. He wanted to be everywhere, tasting Chris. He moved back to Chris' ass. He bit, licked and sucked every part he could. He tasted himself there and that made him harder. His hips rocked and he pulled Chris' hips closer.

"Buck." Chris warned.

Buck moved and took Chris back into his mouth, his finger entering where his tongue had been. He felt Chris stiffen and then they both came again.

Chris continued to lie on Buck. He gathered his strength and then rolled off. Buck crawled around and held Chris close. Their hearts hammering.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

Buck kissed along Chris neck. "Never, lover."

"I don't think we should be trying that again anytime soon." Chris panted.

"You didn't like it?"

"I liked it too much."

Buck smiled and pulled Chris close. He pulled a sheet over them and they dozed.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra dozed on the plane as he headed back to Denver. He wished he had never agreed to take this case. All it had done was stirred up old memories and emotions. How long would it take him to get them under control again? Maybe he needed to take Buck's advice and find someone else? He had avoided going out with another man. He had never imagined himself with anyone but Vin? Perhaps he needed to rethink that.

+ + + + + + +

"Would you go check on Ezra? He isn't answering the phone. Knowing him, it's off the hook."

"Sure, Chris. Then can we get some breakfast? I'm starved."

"We could have gone down earlier if you hadn't lollygagged."

"Lollygagged? Is that would you call what we were doing?" Buck wiggled his eyebrows.

Chris felt himself blush again. "Get going, Buck."

Buck laughed as he left the room.

Buck knocked on Ezra's door. He put his ear to it. Nothing. He got out the spare key to Ezra's room and entered.

"Excuse me. Has Mr. Standish gone downstairs?"

The maid was removing the sheets from the bed.

"This man checked out of this room this morning."

"Are you sure?"

The maid moved to her cart and picked up her clipboard.

"Yes, he checked out."

"Thank you."

Buck turned and hurried down the hall.

"He checked out? What time?"

Chris was on the phone with the front desk, pacing as far as the phone cord allowed.

"Yeah, okay. No, there isn't a problem. Have our bill ready. Okay."

He hung up and turned to Buck.

"He left at 5 AM. Took a taxi to the airport."

"Guess he's heading back home."

Chris nodded. He started packing his bag.

"I want to go have a talk with Vin before we leave." He looked at his watch.

"It's only 7:30. He won't be there yet. Let's go get some breakfast. Can you call JD; see if he can get us booked on a flight?"

"Sure. I'm all packed."

Chris started checking drawers as Buck got out his cell phone.

+ + + + + + +

"JD got us on a 10 o'clock flight. Is that enough time?"

Chris motioned the waitress for more coffee.

"I think so. We can stop at his office on the way to the airport."

"What do you think he'll say?"

"Hard to say, Buck. He was pretty mad last night. But as long as he listens."

+ + + + + + +

"Hey, Vin. Someone here to see you."

Vin turned at the sound of Danny's voice. He slowly stood as Chris followed Danny to his desk.

"So this is your old boss?" Danny looked interested. He'd heard Vin mention Chris Larabee a few times.

"Yeah. Danny, this is Chris. Chris, Danny Taylor."

"Nice to meet you. Vin's told us about you."

Chris smiled.

Danny cleared his throat. "Well, I'll leave you two. Nice meeting you."

"You too."

Vin waited until Danny was out of earshot.

"What do you want, Chris?"

"Found out what's been bothering Ezra. Thought you'd want to know."

Vin glanced around to make sure no one was listening. He saw Samantha looking his way.

"Keep your voice down."

"I ain't hollering and acting strange like you are. I take it these people don't know you too well?"

"They know me well enough."

"What about that guy, Danny?"

"It ain't like that." Vin hissed.

"Oh. I see."

"Look, I don't need to hear what you have to say. That part of my life is over."

"You don't want to know what's wrong?"

"No. Ezra made himself clear last night."

"Come on, Vin. You know how slippery he can be when he's being cornered. But he's got..."

Vin held up a hand.

"I told you, I don't care. That's in the past."

"Anything wrong, Vin?"

Samantha had come up behind Chris.

"No, Sam. This is my old boss. He just came by to say hello while he's in town."

Samantha held out and hand and Chris shook it.

"Yeah, I was just leaving. Buck and I have a plane to catch."

Chris touched an imaginary brim and left.

+ + + + + + +

"So he wouldn't let you tell him?"

"No, the stubborn bastard. He says he has this new ‘straight' life here in New York. And I'll bet you he's been sleeping with that blonde."

"She pretty?"

"Shut up, Buck."

Buck chuckled. He sweet talked the flight attendant into a couple of cups of strong coffee as she went by.

"You did all you could. If he wants to know he'll call you."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, he's just pissed. He tried to get Ezra to talk to him and he ends up talking to you instead. Or so Vin thinks."

"Maybe you're right."

"I'm always right."

+ + + + + + +

"JD says Ezra's at home. He went and checked on him. Said he looked hung over but okay. Ezra said he was going to bed."

They sat on Chris' back porch, watching the horses in the corral. Buck had thrown a blanket over their legs and handed Chris a thermos.

Chris poured coffee in their mugs, handing one to Buck.

"Don't you want to go in?"

"No, I just want to sit out here awhile. You don't have to sit with me."

"Nah, this is nice."

Buck moved closer to Chris, entwining their legs.

"I think we need to get him a date."

"A date? Do you think that's all it's about? Ezra getting laid?"

"No. I didn't say that. I meant he needs to move on. Find someone new."

"I don't think he wants to."

"He says he doesn't but I think it's the best thing for him, Chris."

"Best thing for you?"

"What does that mean?"

"Is that what you'd do? Run jump in the sack with someone else?"

Chris wasn't sure why he was picking a fight with Buck. He was mad at Vin and taking it out on the only person around.

"I don't think two years is jumping in the sack. You think it's healthy for Ezra like this?"

"I'm not talking about Ezra."

"I can see that. I ain't getting in a fight with you over this, Chris. This isn't about us."

Chris sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just so frustrated. I want to shake the fillings out of Vin."

"Well, we can't do anything about him. Ezra's here and he needs our help."

"I know."

+ + + + + + +

Buck went to throw out some hay for the horses. Chris heard the phone ring and went inside.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I bit your head off, Chris. I was just mad."

"I know."

"I'm ready to listen, if you still want to tell me."

"Where are you?"

"I'm not at the office. We can talk."

"Sit down, first."

"Is it that bad?"

"Are you sitting?"

"He's not sick is he? That's it, isn't it? Damn it and I ran out on him."

"Vin, shut up and sit."

Chris filled him in on all that Buck had told him. After he finished there was silence on Vin's end.

"You still there?"

"That bitch. Why would she do that? Why would Ezra let her?"

"She doesn't like her darlin' boy being gay. Think, Vin. Ezra would never let her hurt you and especially not smear your name."

"He thinks that meant more than him?"

"We are talking about Ezra."

"Damn it. It all makes sense."

"What are you going to do?"

"Do? What can I do? I live here now. I had to pull a lot of strings to get this job; I can't just throw all that away."

"Throw it away? What about Ezra? You planning on just throwing him away?"

"He made it clear how he felt."

"You keep telling yourself that. You know, I don't like who you've become. You aren't the man I knew."

Chris slammed the phone down.

"Was that Vin?"

"Yes. I told him and he said he lives in New York now. He doesn't want to jeopardize his job."

"I can't believe that."

"Well that's what he said."

Chris slammed around the kitchen. "I guess we go with your idea. It's time we found someone else for Ezra."

+ + + + + + +

Ezra didn't know why he had agreed to go to the Saloon after work. He didn't feel like it. Hadn't felt like it all week but he'd run out of excuses. He sat in his Jag staring at the front door. A light snow was falling.

"I'll just stay an hour. Tell them I have to go due to the weather."

Ezra nodded. That sounded like a good excuse. They all knew how particular he was about his car. He buttoned his coat as he got out and locked the car.

"He's coming."

JD ran back to the table, sliding into his seat.

"Try not to be obvious, JD." Buck poured him another beer.

"Me? I ain't obvious."

"Right, kid."

Chris glanced over at the bar where Adam Mason stood drinking a beer. He caught his eye and nodded.

"All right, now if one person messes this up you're dead meat. Do I make myself clear?"

All heads nodded. Nathan got up and grabbed his beer.

"I don't want to be a part of this."

Josiah smiled at Chris and followed him to the pool tables.

"Hey, Ezra. Glad you made it."

JD pushed out a chair.

"It's staring to snow again." Ezra said as he sat down. "I can't stay long."

"What're you drinking?"

"I think I'll have a whiskey."

"I'll tell Inez." Buck jumped up, grinning.

"How are you, Ezra?"

"I'm fine, Chris. There really isn't a need for you to keep an eye on me."

"I'm not. Just isn't the same when we all aren't here."

Chris could have kicked himself as Ezra's smile vanished.

"No, it's not."

Buck was back in a moment with a glass of whiskey.

"Here ya go, pard."

"Thanks, Buck."

They sat sipping their drinks for a few moments.

"Hey, Chris. Buck, JD. Hey there, Ezra."

Adam Mason approached the table, drink in hand.

"Hey, Adam. Have a seat. Rest of your team isn't here?"

"Nah. I'm out on my own tonight."

Adam took the chair beside Ezra.

"How ya doing, Ezra? Haven't seen you in awhile."

"I'm fine, Adam."

"We've missed your money at our poker games, Adam."

Adam laughed; he leaned back hooking an arm around Ezra's chair.

"Well, Buck I've been practicing. I think I'm ready to take you on. You got any cards on you, Ezra?"

"Why yes, I do."

"Pull those babies out, Ezra. We need to put this foreigner back in line."

Ezra smiled and took his cards out of his breast pocket. He hadn't felt like playing cards lately. Maybe it was time to change that.

Adam reached over and covered Ezra's hand with his.

"How about I deal first?"

Ezra noticed how warm Adam's hand was and he was aware of his arm around the back of his chair. Don't be stupid, Ezra. He told himself. It doesn't mean anything.

"By all means."

They sat playing cards for over an hour. Ezra excused his self and headed for the bathroom. Adam waited a moment and then followed.

"Hey, Ezra."

Ezra was just washing his hands. He smiled.

"Ezra, I didn't want to say anything around the others and tell me if I'm out of line."

Adam looked at his hands.

"Go on."

"I was wondering, well you might not know but I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime."

"Go out?"

"Yeah, on a date."

"You're asking me out?"

"You aren't seeing anyone are you?" Adam said quickly looking up. "I didn't think you were that's why I asked."

"No. I'm not. I didn't know you were gay."

Adam grinned and Ezra found his smile very attractive.

"Well, I don't advertise. Only reason I know you are is well," he paused, "I'd seen you and Vin around. And I asked."

Ezra smiled. "I'd like that."

"You would? I mean, how about tomorrow? If you're free that is. Dinner?"

Ezra found Adam's nervousness refreshing.

"Tomorrow would be fine. 6?"

"Six is great. I'll pick you up?"

"That's fine."

"Great." Adam smiled again. "I feel kind of stupid asking you out in a bathroom."

"I'm honored."

"Great. Well, I'll go back out first."

Ezra found himself grinning as he watched Adam leave the bathroom. He hesitated at the door, turned and smiled again then left.

Yes, maybe this was what he needed.

+ + + + + + +

"I enjoyed our evening, Adam."

"Me too. Can I call you tomorrow? Maybe we could do something?"

"I'd like that. Good night."

Adam hesitated. He wanted to kiss Ezra, see if those lips were as luscious as they looked. But he'd wait. He didn't want to rush things.

"Good night."

Ezra watched as Adam went back to his car. He was glad Adam hadn't tried to kiss him. He'd rather take things slow. He went back in, closing the door. He had just gotten to the kitchen when there was a knock at the door.

"Did you forget some-"

"Who the hell was that?"

Vin gestured to where Adam's car had been. He pushed his way past Ezra.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've been waiting for you to get home. It's after midnight! There you were standing on the porch with some guy for the whole world to see."

"As you stated, it's after midnight. I don't believe the whole world was watching. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. I know, Ezra. I know what that woman did. Why would you think it would matter to me what she said?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Ezra headed back into the kitchen and poured a drink. Vin moved past him and got a beer out of the refrigerator.

"I don't care what she said, Ezra. No one can break us up but you or me. And I ain't planning on doing it."

"I think it's too late for that."

"No, it ain't. You love me don't you?"

Ezra sat on the couch looking everywhere but at Vin. Vin went to stand in front of him.

"Well? Tell me you don't."

"Vin, I..."

Vin grabbed Ezra around the arms and pulled him up. He glared at him and then leaned in to kiss him. It only took a moment and then Ezra was kissing him back. Vin wrapped his arms around Ezra, pulling him closer. He tucked at Ezra's shirt, needing to feel that warm satiny skin under his hands.

He sighed as he finally got the shirt loose and his hands underneath. He put a leg between Ezra's so he could feel his erection.

Ezra was lost in a swirl of feelings. To be kissing Vin again, feeling Vin in his arms. He worked his hands under Vin's shirt, feeling those muscles again.

Ezra sucked in air as Vin began to kiss down his neck.

Wait a minute. His mind said. This is happening too fast.

"Vin."

Vin pushed him back on the couch. Ezra was thinking again and he wasn't going to let him do that. He pulled Ezra's shirt off and ran his hands down that chiseled chest.

"You're beautiful, Ez."

Vin pulled his own shirt off and tossed it aside. He kissed every part of Ezra's he could reach as he worked his way lower. Ezra's hands played with his hair, stopping when they reached his neck. Vin toyed with his navel while his hands undid Ezra's pants.

"Vin, wait."

But Vin wasn't waiting. He moved further down the couch, pulling off Ezra's shoes and jerking off his pants. His own clothes quickly followed.

He kissed his way back up Ezra's legs, his hands roaming.

"Vin."

Vin's mouth engulfed him. Ezra moaned and his hips jerked as Vin's tongue and lips moved. Vin played with Ezra's balls as Ezra opened his legs wider. He wet one finger and increases his pace as he entered.

"God, Vin."

Ezra gripped Vin's shoulder. Vin knew him too well. Vin knew every spot to drive him crazy.

"I want you, Ez."

Ezra opened his eyes to see Vin straddling him. His mind took a moment to register that Vin was moving him and then Vin entered in one stroke.

"You're mine, Ez. No one else's."

Vin wasn't gentle. He pounded into Ezra's body. Ezra raised his legs, wrapping them around Vin's waist.

"That's right. You're mine, every part of you."

He leaned down to capture Ezra's mouth. His hand stroked Ezra in time with his hips. His movements became more erratic, Vin came a second after Ezra.

Vin collapsed on Ezra's chest. He could hear Ezra's ragged breathing in his ear.

"Glad I got here before it was too late. If I had known sooner..."

Vin murmured as he tried to catch his breath.

"Too late?"

"Nothing." Vin said quickly. He rose up to kiss Ezra again.

"When did you find out about my mother?" Ezra raised an eyebrow when they broke apart.

"A few days ago."

"When?"

"When Chris and Buck got back to Denver."

Vin tried to resume kissing Ezra's neck but Ezra pushed his up so he could see him.

"Almost a week ago. And what brought you here tonight?"

"I told you, I wanted to see you."

"You couldn't get here earlier today? It is the weekend."

"Well, I..I didn't decide until late."

"Did you know I had a date tonight?"

"Who was that guy? I thought you weren't seeing anyone?"

"Is that why you're here? Too make sure I'm not getting any? I'm sure you haven't been celibate during your time in New York."

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again. It meant nothing."

"I saw that blonde making eyes at you. Or perhaps it was... what was his name? Danny?"

"Samantha. Her name is Samantha. I would never make a move on Danny. They don't know-"Vin stopped.

Ezra pushed Vin off the couch. He landed in the floor by the coffee table.

"Oh, I see. They don't know you're gay. Or I guess its bisexual. But you fly all the way back here when you somehow find out I have a date?"

"Chris set that ‘date' up for you. I thought he was my friend."

"Chris did no such thing."

"Yes, he did. Why he picked some muscle-bound goon I don't know."

"I think you better find your clothes and get the hell out of here."

"Ezra, don't be mad. I couldn't let you go through with it. I told you, you're mine."

"So you're moving back to Denver? Quitting the FBI?"

"No. I can't just quit my job. I've worked really hard."

"Oh. So I'm supposed to just wait for whenever you blow into town? Or maybe sneak to New York to see you, so your new friends don't know?"

"That's not what I meant."

"What do you mean? Or have you thought this through?"

Ezra was dressed by this time. He glared at Vin sitting on the couch. Ezra picked up Vin's clothes and tossed them at him.

"Get dressed and get out."

He turned and stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door.

+ + + + + + +

Adam looked at his watch. It was almost nine. He hoped Ezra was up. He'd tried to call but Ezra's voice mail kept picking up. He headed for the door and knocked.

"What do you want?"

Ezra looked a mess. His clothes were disheveled and his hair looked like he'd been running his hands through it.

"Are you all right? I tried calling but your machine picked up."

"Chris arrange another date for us and forgot to tell me?"

"Chris? What are you talking about, Ezra?"

"Come in before the whole world sees you."

Ezra turned aside, leaving the door open. Adam followed him in. Ezra plopped on the couch and then quickly got up. He moved to a chair. He picked up his phone and dialed.

"Goodwill? Yes, I have a couch I want to get rid of. When can you come get it? Tomorrow? Yes, that will be fine." Ezra gave the address and hung up.

"How about some coffee?"

Ezra shrugged. Adam went into the kitchen. He opened a few cabinets and found the coffee and filters. After he had it brewing he went back into the kitchen. He leaned against the oak table.

"Want to talk about it?"

"It seems our date was a sham. What was it, a mercy date?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ezra. I asked you out because I wanted to. No one told me too. Yeah, Chris mentioned you weren't seeing anyone. But I had asked him before, after Vin left. He knew I was already interested."

"Then why now?"

Adam shrugged. The coffee pot beeped and he went back into the kitchen. He poured two cups and set them on the coffee table. He went back and got cream and sugar. After he fixed his cup he sat in the chair beside Ezra.

"After Vin left, when I asked Chris about you, he said it was too soon. I respected that. I asked him occasionally how you were doing. I ran into him at the shooting range the other day. I asked him about you and he said he thought you might be ready to move on."

"He didn't tell you to ask me?"

"No. Do I look like I take orders well?"

Adam grinned.

Ezra smiled. No, he thought. Adam looked like his own man. He wore his blond hair cut short, almost military. He usually favored T-shirts and jeans but he wore a white button down shirt today and dress pants. His arms looked like they could pop through the sleeves.

"So why did you think that?"

"Vin showed up after you left last night. He insinuated as much. He...he said a lot of things, but it seems he only want to make sure no one else could have me."

"I see."

They sat sipping their coffee.

"Look, Ezra. I don't want to get between you and Vin. If he's back in the picture-"

Ezra laughed.

"No, he isn't back in the picture unless I'm painting New York. He has no plans on coming back here."

"But you're supposed to wait?"

Ezra shrugged again. "I guess."

Ezra stifled a yawn.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"I don't think so."

"Look," Adam got up and took the coffee cup from Ezra's hand. He sat it on the coffee table and then pulled Ezra up.

"Come on, you go back to bed. Try and get some sleep."

He led Ezra down the hall until he spotted Ezra's bedroom. It was as luxurious as Adam had imagined. He sat Ezra on the bed and pulled off his shoes. He gave him a little shove and Ezra laid back. Adam smiled as he pulled the covers up over him.

"Get some sleep, Ezra."

+ + + + + + +

Adam sat drinking his coffee while he watched TV. He had the sound down low. He got up when he heard a knock on the door. He glanced at the peep hole and frowned.

"What do you want?"

Vin looked up at Adam standing in Ezra's doorway.

"What are you doing here?"

"Wouldn't you like to know? Go away. Ezra doesn't want to talk to you."

"I'd like to hear that from him."

"He's asleep. Long night." Adam grinned and winked.

"Bastard."

Vin drew back to punch him but Adam caught his fist.

"Go away."

Adam pushed back, knocking Vin off the porch. He closed the door.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra woke later and looked at the clock. 1 PM. He looked around the room but there was no sign of Adam. He went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face. He wandered into the living room and noticed the television was on. The sound was turned down so he could barely hear it. As he approached he saw Adam asleep on the couch, remote in hand. Smiling, Ezra tugged it from his grasp. Adam woke with a start.

"Did I wake you?"

Adam ran a hand over his face, trying to wake up.

"No. How could you hear that?" Ezra nodded toward the TV.

"I concentrated."

They both smiled.

"I'm surprised you are still here. Can't be too exciting watching me sleep?"

"Well I thought you would be creeped out by that so I came in here."

Ezra laughed.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Let me jump in the shower and then we can go."

Adam bit back what he wanted to say.

A few minutes later, Ezra appeared hair still damp. He wore dress pants too and a dress shirt. Adam smiled as he tried to brush the wrinkles out of his shirt.

"You look fine."

"I look like I slept in my clothes."

"That just adds to your mystery."

+ + + + + + +

Vin had sat outside Ezra's condo for two hours before he finally left. He headed for Chris' ranch. How could Chris do that to him? Why fix Ezra up with someone now? He was glad JD had called him.

Vin parked in front and went to the front door. He banged and yelled.

"Chris."

He listened but didn't hear anything. He tried the door and found it unlocked as usual. He opened it and stomped in.

"Chris?"

He headed through the living room to the kitchen. He heard voices on the back porch. There sat Chris and Buck.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Chris looked up from the harness he was cleaning.

"Vin. What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, thought you were in New York."

Vin threw a glare at Buck and continued.

"What's the fucking idea, setting Ezra up on a date?"

Chris and Buck exchanged glances.

"I didn't and I don't see where it's any of your business, Vin."

"I'm tired of people telling me what is and isn't my business. Ezra is my business."

"Well, I don't see it that way. And I don't think Ezra would either."

"Ezra is mine. We don't need you sticking your nose in our business and confusing things."

Chris glanced at Buck again.

"I don't believe Ezra belongs to you. Last I checked you were living in New York." Buck said slowly.

"This ain't any of your business, Buck."

"What makes you think I set Ezra up on a date?"

"I got my sources. And I went there last night and saw it for myself. He was back there today. Wouldn't let me see Ezra."

"Did you do something stupid?"

"No I didn't." Vin's voice got louder, his face flushed.

Chris sighed. Vin was a terrible liar.

"Look, Vin. You made your choice. Its Ezra's right to move on. You have."

"I told you, this is between me and him. We don't need anyone else messing things up."

"No, think you're doing fine there yourself, Vin."

"Buck."

Buck held up his hands.

"I'm just saying. You expect Ezra to wait around until you decide to come back to Denver, if you do?"

"I have a job. I can't just drop everything."

"Vin, decide what you want to do and do it. Just don't expect Ezra to sit around waiting."

"This is his damn fault. If he hadn't listened to that damn woman none of this would have happened."

Vin sat heavily in on of the rockers.

"Well, that's water under the bridge. You need to figure out what you want to do next."

"Think I fucked that plan up." Vin's voice was low.

"More fists?"

Chris saw a ghost of a smile cross Vin's face.

"No, I kinda forced the issue and then," Vin paused, "then I said I wasn't moving back here."

Chris and Buck groaned.

"You had sex and then told him thanks but you had to go back to New York?"

"Something like that."

"You didn't throw in that part about ‘you're mine' did you?" Buck asked.

Vin shrugged.

"Damn, Vin, are you trying to piss him off?"

"No, I wasn't thinking. I wanted him to admit how he felt and one thing led to another. He loves me, damn it."

Chris and Buck both sighed.

"Why did you have to get him a date?"

"I told you, I didn't. This guy at work has been asking about Ezra and I told him he was available."

"He's not."

"He is. How did you find out about it?"

Vin looked at his feet.

"Was it JD?"

"Damn that kid. I told him not to stick his nose in it." Buck swore.

"I'm glad he did."

"Yeah, it helped a whole lot didn't it?"

Vin looked back down at Chris' glare.

"How long are you staying?"

"I have to go back tomorrow."

"I don't think you're going to get much accomplished by then. You need to decide if you want to be here or New York."

"And what if Ezra decides he wants that goon?"

"Then you'll have to convince him you aren't the idiot you appear to be."

+ + + + + + +

"Ezra."

"Yes?"

"I didn't tell you earlier, I didn't want to spoil our lunch, but Vin came by while you were asleep."

"I see."

"He didn't take kindly to me not letting him see you."

"Did he punch you too?"

"He hit you?"

Ezra waved a hand. "Just a glancing blow but that was the other day. So, were punches thrown? You don't appear injured."

Ezra placed his hand under Adam's chin and moved his face from side to side.

Adam reached up to take his hand and then placed it on the table.

"He threw one but I caught it and well, I sort of shoved him."

Ezra gave a tight smile. "I'm sorry."

"Wasn't your fault and neither one of us was hurt. Maybe his pride."

Ezra took a drink of his iced tea.

"Look, I don't want to get in between you two, if you're getting back together."

"We aren't. I think we were just getting, closer I believe it's called. He's going back to New York."

"I like you, Ezra. I understand if you want to take things slow but I do want to see you."

"I don't know, Adam. I'm not sure I want to get involved with anyone right now. We could be friends if you'd like."

"It's a start."

+ + + + + + +

Ezra was headed out to Chris' ranch. Chris wouldn't say what he wanted but he suspected that Vin had made a trip out there. He hoped Vin was on his way back to New York. He told himself that but on the trip he kept thinking of the night before. Vin's body on his, Vin's mouth. He shook his head. This wasn't doing any good.

Ezra was surprised to see a strange car parked in front of Chris'. He didn't see Buck's old truck. Maybe it was in the shop. He parked and got out. Buck sat on the front porch, feet propped up on the railing.

"Hey, Ezra."

"Buck. Your truck in the shop?"

Buck glanced at Vin's rental. "Ah, no."

"You aren't trying to fix me up are you? I'm not in the mood to meet anyone else."

Ezra glanced as the door opened. He had just reached the top step when he saw Vin.

"What is he doing here?"

"Why does everyone ask me that?" Vin tried a smile.

Ezra turned to leave but Chris grabbed his arm.

"Just let him talk, Ezra. I figured this was a good place. Quiet so you both can yell all you want and we're here to referee if necessary."

"I believe Mr. Tanner has said all he needs to on that subject. When are you going back to New York?"

"Ezra."

"Don't Ezra me. Did he tell you what he did, Chris? I'm some piece of property he's stamped and I'm to sit here waiting for him to arrive and service me."

"Maybe this was a mistake."

"You're damn right, Buck."

"All right, shut up the both of you."

Ezra and Vin turned to glare at Chris.

"Okay, you're going to act like two year olds. Ezra sit there, Vin over here."

Ezra and Vin sat.

"There will be no name calling. No punching. Try and talk this out like adults."

They sat there in huffy silence. Chris looked at Buck for help.

"Vin, do you love Ezra?"

Vin shot Buck a look. He crossed his arms.

"Yes."

"Ezra?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? I felt it, last night."

"Vin."

Vin looked angry but said nothing more.

"What does it matter how I feel if he is living in New York?"

"I'll take that as a yes." Buck sighed and raised an eyebrow to Chris.

Chris smiled.

"All right. We got that part settled. Vin, do you care about that garbage Maude said?"

"If you had told me all this two years ago we wouldn't be in this damn mess."

"Vin."

"No, Chris he's right. I didn't tell you because I thought I was protecting you."

"I can take care of myself. If you had just been honest-"

"I stand corrected."

Vin fumed. Damn it, Ezra was right. He knew Era had only been thinking of him.

"It's still up to you, Vin. If you plan on staying in New York then I am going to go on with my life."

"I can't just up and quit my job."

"You seemed to have done that before."

"Vin, if you wanted to come back you know there is always a place for you here."

"Thanks, Chris. I guess I just need time to think. This has all happened so fast."

Ezra stood up.

"Fine. Let me know what you decide."

He turned on his heel and left.

+ + + + + + +

How had life gotten so complicated? One minute he was happy, then miserable and then happy and miserable all at once. Vin looked out at the clouds passing by. What was he going to do? He had finally settled in with the FBI. His team members liked him though his start there had been rocky. He was glad the whole Samantha thing was behind him that had been a mistake. Before he would have given anything to know what happened between him and Ezra and now he knew. But he was still confused. Did he love Ezra? That was easy. Yes, he did. That night they had spent together was wonderful. So why couldn't he make up his mind? Was it only his job?

No, not really. He missed Team Seven. He liked that they knew him and accepted him. Was that it? He'd have to tell Jack why he was leaving?

Did it matter to him what Jack thought? Well, yes it did. He respected Jack. What would Jack's reaction be if he told him he was going back to Denver to be with his boyfriend? But was he going to leave Ezra for that reason? Adam would sure like that. Vin felt his stomach churn.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra lay in bed trying not to think. He didn't want to close his eyes. His mind replayed the night Vin was here. Even though it had been weeks ago he could feel every spot on his body that Vin had touched. He groaned and lay on his side. That didn't help. He imagined Vin snuggled up behind him. What was he going to do? He loved Vin, Vin loved him. Then it hit him. Why didn't he go to New York? Nothing was really holding him here. He'd miss Chris and Buck and the rest but he'd still be able to see them. He wanted to be with Vin. He could probably get a job there with the ATF. That settled he went to sleep.

+ + + + + + +

"Hey, Vin. Got another visitor. Are all your old co-workers coming to visit New York?"

Vin turned as Danny approached his desk, Ezra behind him. Ezra looked good in one of his Armani suits. Vin stood.

"Danny, this is Ezra Standish. Ezra, Danny Taylor."

"Nice to meet you."

The two men shook hands and then Danny left.

"What are you doing in New York? Are you working on that case?"

"No. Chris gave me a few days off. I need to talk to you, Vin."

Vin looked at his watch.

"I got a meeting to go to in a few minutes. Can you give me about an hour?"

"That's fine. I'll wait in the coffee shop downstairs."

"All right. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just needed to talk."

"Okay. I'll try not to keep you too long."

Ezra played a hand on Vin's arm, squeezing slightly.

"Thanks, Vin."

Vin watched as Ezra left. Danny came over, also watching Ezra.

"He sure is nice looking."

"What?"

"Are all your old co-workers that good looking? I noticed your boss was handsome in an outdoorsy way but this one looks like he stepped out of GQ."

"Since when have you started checking out men, Danny?"

Danny held up his hands. "Hey, I don't swing that way but I notice when someone is attractive."

"Yeah, I'll start watching myself around you."

"Who said you were attractive, Vin?"

Vin punched Danny's arm as they headed for the meeting.

+ + + + + + +

"This is a nice restaurant but not a place I would have thought you would pick."

Vin glanced around the restaurant. Ezra was right. This wasn't a restaurant he would have normally picked, before moving here. Jack had brought them here to celebrate a big case they had closed and he had brought Samantha here a few times. It was elegant and some place he knew Ezra would appreciate.

"I have hidden taste."

They both smiled. The waitress came and took their orders then Ezra began.

"Vin, I've been thinking. It was pretty selfish of me to expect you to pick up and move back to Denver. So I how about I move here? I'm sure I could find a job, probably with the ATF branch that's in your building. What do you think? You don't like it?"

Ezra had been watching Vin and the shocked expression that had appeared on his face.

"Uh, well, I hadn't thought about that."

Ezra stared at him. The waitress brought their drinks and Ezra decided to drop it for awhile.

"Well, think about it. Chris gave me a few days off."

+ + + + + + +

"Do you want to come to my hotel or to your apartment?"

"Uh, well, um Danny is coming to pick me tomorrow. We are going downtown to ah, work on a case."

"That's fine."

"Uh, how about I pick you up after I get off work tomorrow?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow, Vin."

+ + + + + + +

"I think you'll like this restaurant. It's Mexican, you're favorite. I did some touring of the city today. It's pretty amazing. I have visited here a few times growing up but it's been a long time. I asked around and was told this was the best Mexican place around."

Ezra chatted happily as the taxi took them downtown. Vin had stopped by Ezra's hotel to pick him up after work.

"Here we are? Have you been here before?"

Vin glanced up at the sign as they exited the taxi. "el lugar del alimento"

"No." He lied.

"Great. I hope you like it."

They waited in the doorway to be seated. Vin groaned silently.

"Senor Tanner! How nice to see you again? Is Senorita Samantha joining you tonight?"

"No." Vin mumbled.

"We have a reservation in the name of Standish." Ezra said, not looking at Vin.

The maître d' waved a hand as if shooing flies. "We have just the table for a regular. Not some tourist."

He led them to a nice table in the back. Quiet and near a small fountain.

"How is this?"

"Fine, thanks." Vin smiled vaguely.

The waiter approached and took their drink orders and left menus.

"So, what do you recommend, Vin?" Ezra stared at the menu without looking at Vin.

"It's all good." Vin said lamely.

The waiter returned in a few minutes with their drinks and took their order. Vin took a few gulps of his beer.

"So," he said, "you said you went to some museums, what did you see?"

"Lots of old stuff." Ezra sipped his margarita and stared at Vin.

"That's nice."

"What do you think about me moving here?"

"I don't know, do you think that's a good idea?"

"Why not? We can't be together if you are on one coast and I'm almost on the other. You do want to be together, don't you?"

"Well, sure. It's just; well what would I tell people?"

"Tell people? You don't have to ‘come out' to you co-workers, Vin. They know we worked together. Why would it seem strange if we lived together?"

"Just seems sudden. You know, you visit and then all of a sudden you're moving here."

"You know, Vin. I don't have to move here. We could move somewhere else if you'd like."

"Yeah. That's a thought."

Ezra played with the salt along the rim of his glass. Vin was acting very strange. Vin hadn't even touched him since he arrived. He decided to test a theory. He slid his hand across the table and touched Vin's sleeve. Vin jerked his arm back like he'd been burned, looking wildly around. Ezra held up one side of a butter packet.

"You had this on your sleeve."

"Oh, um thanks."

Ezra took another sip of his drink. Well, that about summed it up, didn't it?

Vin continued to polish off beer after beer. He was feeling pretty good. This night wasn't going so bad. He looked at Ezra covertly. Ezra sure looked nice in that suit. With that curl hanging down on his forehead. Maybe he'd head back to the hotel with Ezra. He could always leave right after; say he had to be up early for work. That was true enough. And it wasn't like he had a change of clothes. Why not? Ezra was leaving soon.

Ezra noticed Vin studying him. He had that half smile on his face. Vin was obviously getting drunk and horny. Oh yes, he'd seen that look plenty of times. He had used to enjoy that look. Obviously Vin was thinking he might as well get lucky tonight.

"Excuse me."

Ezra got up and headed for the restrooms. He stopped, dropped his credit card off at the desk as he passed by, asking them to call him a cab. He picked his card up on the way out and told the hostess to let him know when his cab was there.

"Are you going to get dessert, Vin?" He asked as he sat back down. He knew Vin couldn't resist dessert.

"That sounds good. I'll look at the menu when I get back. Dessert before dessert."

Vin grinned at Ezra as he headed for the restrooms. Ezra made a face as Vin walked away. The waitress motioned to him that his taxi was here.

"Would you bring my friend some coffee and a dessert menu? He's staying."

"I hope you enjoyed your visit."

"Yes, it was very illuminating."

+ + + + + + +

Vin headed out of the restroom, a small grin on his face. He patted his pocket. Luckily this place had those condom machines in the men's room. He wondered if Ezra had gotten any? Well he got a few and, he glanced at his watch, with any luck he'll get to use a couple, one for him and one for Ezra and still be home by midnight.

Vin frowned as he approached the table. Where was Ezra? He smiled though when he saw a fresh cup of coffee. Ezra knew he liked coffee with dessert. He sat down, took a sip and picked up the dessert menu.

"Are you ready to order?"

"Yeah, do you know where my friend went?"

"Yes, he left a few minutes ago?"

"Left? "

"Yes sir. What can I get you?"

Vin ordered and took a sip of coffee when the waitress left. Where had Ezra gone? Maybe he was supposed to meet Ezra at his hotel? Well that worked out better, he didn't have to come up with an excuse why they could go to his apartment and he was free to leave without any trouble. He'd finish his dessert and head over.

+ + + + + + +

"Could you tell me what room Ezra Standish is in?"

"I'm sorry, no."

"What? What do you mean, no?"

"Well, sir, I mean I cannot give out that information."

Vin stared at the concierge.

"I just want to know what room he's in."

The concierge sighed. Americans were so obtuse.

"Mr. Standish has asked that his room number not be given out."

"Oh," Vin smiled, "he won't mind if you give it to me."

The man quirked an eyebrow at Vin.

"Look," Vin was getting angry, his buzz was wearing off and he was horny. He pulled out his ID. "I'm with the FBI."

To Vin's amazement the man smiled.

"Mr. Standish said, and I quote "A FBI badge does not trump an ATF one."

Vin glared at the man. He snapped his ID closed and headed back outside. The concierge smiled and nudged the bottle of cognac Ezra had given him further under his desk. What an easy night's work.

+ + + + + + +

"Could you connect me to Ezra's Standish's room?"

Vin took a glance at his watch. He was sitting in the coffee shop in his office building.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Standish has checked out."

"What? When was that?"

"Mr. Standish checked out a few hours ago."

"Thanks."

Vin snapped his cell phone closed. Ezra had left? He rubbed a hand over his face. Shit, he'd been too stupid to notice that Ezra had him figured out and was pissed. Well, he'd best let him cool off before trying to apologize and then what would he say?

+ + + + + + +

"Can I get you something?"

"Could I have a mimosa?"

"Yes, sir."

The flight attendant smiled as she headed down the aisle. Ezra wondered if they had enough champagne on this airplane. This was becoming a habit. Leaving New York alone and depressed.

+ + + + + + +

"Buck?"

"Ezra?"

"Could you give me a ride home?"

Buck chuckled. "Sure pard, if you tell me where you are?"

"I'm at the airport. I don't know where I left my car."

Buck looked up to the clock on the office wall. 10 AM. Not a good sign that Ezra was drunk this early.

"Okay, I'm heading out."

"I'll be in the bar."

Buck shook his head as he hung up the phone. He tipped JD's hat down over his eyes as he passed; laughing at the look JD gave him and headed into Chris' office. He knocked on the door jam as he entered.

"Got a minute?"

Chris looked up from his computer.

"I'm going to get Ezra. He's drunk at the airport and doesn't know where his car is."

"At this time? I thought he was taking a few days off?"

Buck shrugged.

"Want me to take you over there so you can drive Ezra's car back?"

"Nah. I'll get a cab. Would you call security and see if they can track his car down before I get there?"

"Sure. Let me know what's up."

Buck nodded and left.

+ + + + + + +

"So you just left?"

Buck was maneuvering the Jag through traffic. Man he loved driving this car. Ezra was bringing him up to date on his trip to New York.

"Yes."

Ezra was pretty drunk and slurred his words.

"That bastard thought he was going to get laid when he hadn't so much as touched me since I'd gotten there."

"Did he show up at the hotel?"

Ezra laughed.

"Oh yes, I had arranged for the concierge not to give him my room number. Vin even tried showing his badge but I had forewarned him. I would have loved to witness that!"

Buck and Ezra both chuckled.

"So, what now?"

Ezra sighed, frowning out the window.

"I guess it's time I moved on. Obviously he is not coming back nor does he want desire a life with me."

"Maybe he just needs time to think?"

"How much more time? He came all the way back here to stop me from dating someone else. He said he loved me. So what is the problem?"

"I don't know, Ezra."

"Well, I'm not waiting around. I think he's made himself clear."

+ + + + + + +

"So, you think it's really over?"

"Ezra seems convinced. I can't believe Vin acted that way."

"He sure has changed since he left. He's hardly the Vin we knew at all."

"Let's keep an eye on Ezra. He may say he's okay but you know he's hurting inside."

"Good idea, Buck."

+ + + + + + +

"Adam? It's Ezra."

"Ezra, it's great to hear from you. How are you?"

"I'm okay. I know its short notice but I was wondering if you were free for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, that would be great. How about I come by after work and pick you up? Say around 6:30?"

"That's fine. You pick the place, my treat."

"Deal. See you then."

+ + + + + + +

Adam tried to squash the butterflies in his stomach. He knew they were just friends but he hadn't seen heard from Ezra in a couple of weeks, ever since Vin went back to New York. Maybe this was a good sign. He pulled his truck in front of Ezra's house. He was a few minutes early. He hadn't been sure how long it would take him to go home and change before he picked Ezra up. He hadn't wanted to show up in work clothes. He fidgeted with his shirt as he walked to the door and knocked.

"Hi, hope I'm not too early."

"No, I'm ready. Come in. I want to grab a jacket."

Ezra turned and went to the closet while Adam stood nervously at the door.

"You look nice."

Damn, he thought. That sounded stupid. But Ezra did look good. He wore black dress pants and a pale green sweater.

"Thank you. You look very nice yourself."

Adam felt himself redden. He'd felt like a school girl going through his clothes to find something nice to wear. He too had settled for dress pants, his only pair that weren't khaki and buttoned up shirt. It was some brown color that the sales lady had said made his eyes look like cognac, whatever that meant.

"I'll drive, if you want."

"Shall we take my car? You don't mind driving the Jag, do you?"

"No."

Shit, every teenager boy's dream driving a fancy sports car! He'd loved looking at the Jag in the parking deck and had later found out who it belonged to. He took the keys as Ezra handed them to him. He tried not to grin but couldn't help it.

Adam forgot his nervousness as he drove to the restaurant. It was better than he'd imagined.

"I thought we'd go to Riccardo's. It's not real fancy but the food is good."

"Yes, it is. Riccardo's is one of my favorites."

Adam smiled. He was dying to take Ezra's hand but thought that would be pushing it and he didn't want to chance messing up Ezra's car. He'd called ahead for reservations; it was always safer on a Friday. He parked around the back and followed Ezra inside. He knew he was grinning like a loon but he didn't care.

After they had ordered, Ezra leaned forward. He cleared his throat and took a drink of coffee.

"I want to be upfront. I don't want you to think I called you on the rebound but I just returned from New York this morning."

Ezra paused and Adam felt his heart beat faster. Rebound? That sounded good for him, didn't it?

"You went to see Vin?"

Ezra nodded.

"When he was here before he made it clear he didn't wish to leave his job and I realized after he left that perhaps I had been selfish in not offering to relocate. " Ezra took another drink.

Move? Ezra wasn't leaving was he? But he wouldn't have said rebound, would he?

"So I went to make the offer and....well, he was not open to that suggestion. I am taking my friend's advice and moving on."

"You aren't moving?"

"No, I'm staying here. I hope you don't think I asked you to dinner under false pretenses. I was feeling blue and we haven't seen each other in awhile."

Ezra's voice trailed off as he looked up at Adam.

"Hell, Ezra, I don't care why you called me. Just that you did. I'll do my best to cheer you up."

"You already have."

Ezra reached out and tentatively touched Adam's hand. Adam squeezed his fingers before Ezra pulled his hand back.

"I'd kiss it but I think people might talk."

Ezra grinned. Yes, he thought. He felt better already.

+ + + + + + +

"Do you want to come in for a drink?"

Adam stood at Ezra's door. God he wanted too. He wanted to come in and not leave. He kept trying to make himself take things slow but it was hard. Hell, he was hard. Hard as a damn steel rod.

"You're probably tired. Jet lag. I'll go."

Ezra smiled and leaned closer.

"A good night kiss then?"

Adam's heart was pounding. He could hear it thudding in his ears. He leaned closer, tilting his head down toward Ezra. He gazed at the beautiful shade of green of his eyes and Ezra's smile as Ezra reached a hand behind his neck. Their lips touched and Adam felt a jolt that went straight to his dick. Then Ezra was pulling his head down and he felt Ezra's tongue brush his mouth. He closed his arms around Ezra, pulling him tight against him. Adam deepened the kiss and he felt Ezra's moan. One hand traveled down Ezra's back until he was kneading that tight ass. He felt Ezra shift a leg between his. God, he was in heaven. He needed to feel Ezra. His hand worked to pull Ezra's shirt up and then he froze. He was mauling Ezra on his front porch.

"I'm sorry. I, I got a little carried away."

"My. You are a good kisser."

Adam felt his face flush. Ezra raised a hand and caressed Adam's jaw.

"Change your mind about that drink?"

Adam searched Ezra's face. He didn't see any hesitance or doubt but he wanted to be certain.

"Are you sure?"

Ezra reached up and gave him a soft kiss. "I'm very sure."

Well, he wasn't gonna try and talk Ezra out of it. His momma hadn't raised no fool. Adam smiled and nodded.

Ezra turned and opened the door. He closed it behind Adam. He reached out and placed his arms around Adam's waist, running his mouth along the back of Adam's neck. Adam stood about 5 inches taller and he was very muscular. Ezra ran on hand up Adam's back and then down his arm.

"Very nice." Ezra murmured.

Adam turned and took Ezra in his arms, moving him back against the door. He kissed Ezra deeply, taking his time. He ran his hands under Ezra's sweater, up and down Ezra's back, from shoulders to ass and back. He rubbed his hips slowly against Ezra's.

Ezra worked his hands between them and began unbuttoning Adam's shirt. He moved his hands up Adam's chest, fingers brushing his nipples. He heard Adam groan and felt his finger grip his ass tighter. Ezra moved a leg between Adam's, rubbing his thigh against Adam's erection.

Adam pulled back, gasping.

"I'm gonna come in about a minute if we don't stop."

Ezra laughed.

"We don't want that. I can at least let you all the way inside."

The moved into the living room. Ezra motioned to the couch, a new leather one, and went into the kitchen.

"What would you like to drink?"

"Beer, if you have it?"

Ezra returned with a beer and a glass of water.

"I'm taking it easy tonight," Ezra said at the look Adam gave him. "I had a little too much on the plane," he finished.

Adam took a drink and sat his bottle on the coffee table.

"Look, I'm probably shooting myself in the foot, but I want to be clear on something."

He looked at Ezra, who nodded.

"I don't want some one night stand with you. I mean if that's all it was then yes, I do want to but I don't. I mean, I want more than that."

Ezra ran a hand along Adam's thigh to his knee.

"I don't want just a one night stand with you."

"Good. Great." Adam took another drink.

"Another thing." He figured now that he was doing it, he'd get it all out.

"It's been a long time since I've been, well, dated. I don't sleep around. Not that I've been with a lot of guys but...I mean, it isn't like I'm a virgin."

Ezra smiled and took a drink of his water.

"I've only been with one man."

"Oh." Adam looked at him. "Oh," he said comprehension dawning.

Adam took another drink. Shit, Vin was Ezra's first and only. What if he screwed this up?

"That isn't a problem, is it?"

"No. No, I'm flattered."

"I'm not a virgin either and I think I know what to do."

Ezra smiled as Adam looked up and then a slow smile crossed his face.

"Well, I think I can help you out there if you have any problems."

"Is that so?" Ezra ran his hand back up the inside of Adam's thigh. "That would be very considerate of you."

Adam put his beer on the table and turned toward Ezra. He wrapped his arms around Ezra's back and pulled him back onto the couch.

"That's just how I am," he murmured before capturing Ezra's mouth with his.

Ezra moved so he was halfway across Adam's chest, one hand still caressed Adam's erection. He shifted as Adam tugged his sweater over his head, tilting as Adam began to kiss his neck.

"Ezra." Adam moaned his name as he kissed along Ezra's neck and shoulder.

Ezra ran his hands down Adam's chest to his abs. God, the man definitely worked out. Ezra's hands fumbled with Adam's belt and Adam shifted so he could undo it.

"Thanks," Ezra said.

Adam broke off from nibbling Ezra's neck.

"My pleasure, I'm sure." Adam grinned.

"Oh, it will be." Ezra teased.

He pushed Adam back on the couch. Adam unfastened Ezra's pants as Ezra moved down his legs.

"Hold still." Adam said.

Ezra smiled up at him as he stood and kicked off his shoes. He then removed Adam's and worked his pants down his legs.

"Oh my," Ezra said, "commando."

"Always ready for any situation."

Adam laid back, his hands behind his head. He smile faded as Ezra's eyes traveled from his feet, slowly up to his eyes.

"That you are." Ezra smiled, gold tooth showing.

Ezra unzipped his own pants and let them fall to the floor. He stood there in silk boxer shorts. He moved to the foot of the couch, he mentally thanked himself for getting the longest sectional sofa. He sat on the edge and ran his hands along Adam's calves. He bent down and kissed along Adam's inner thighs. Adam shifted back and moved his legs further apart.

Ezra kissed up on thigh, running his hand along the other. He worked his way up Adam's hip, bypassing his full erection but letting his hand brush across it. Adam's hips jerked. Ezra stopped at his bellybutton. Adam gasped as Ezra's tongue moved along the edge and then plunged inside.

Adam's ran his fingers through Ezra's hair. Ezra then continued up Adam's chest, his tongue circling Adam's nipples, sucking the nubs first soft then hard.

Adam was panting. He moved his hands down Ezra's back, touching whatever he could reach. Ezra moved so his erection, clothed in silk, brushed Adam's. Adam thrust his hips up, trying to maintain contact but Ezra kept moving.

Ezra kissed along his neck and then finally reached his mouth. He drew Adam's tongue deep into his mouth.

Adam's hand was now inside those maddening silk boxers. One hand kneaded Ezra's fine tight ass, the other stroked from balls to tip. He felt satisfied to feel Ezra pull back and gasp.

"You seem to have me at a disadvantage, sir."

Adam smiled up at those green eyes, pupils dilated with passion.

"I think I have you right where I want you."

Ezra smiled, the gold glint showing again.

"Not yet."

Ezra kissed him again and began his journey back down Adam's body. He reluctantly let go as Ezra moved farther down. Then he was the one gasping as Ezra's tongue slowly circled his head and then Ezra's lips moved agonizingly slow down his shaft. He had no control as his hips jerked upward and Ezra placed an arm across him.

"Ezra." Adam moaned in a few minutes.

"Ezra," he called again.

Ezra stopped and looked up.

"I want you inside me, please."

Adam usually preferred to be on top, but right now he wanted Ezra to take him.

"I'll be right back."

Ezra got up, his own erection tenting those silk boxers. He returned a minute later with condoms and lubricant. He placed the items on the coffee table and moved to take off his boxers but Adam's hand stopped him. Adam pulled him closer to the sofa and reached out. He ran his hands along that silk covered ass and then tugged them slowly off. He rolled to his side and took Ezra into his mouth. Ezra swayed on his feet as Adam's fingers toyed with his ass and he took his full length into his mouth. Ezra steadied himself by placing his hands on Adam's head. He ran his fingers through the short blond stubble of Adam's hair. All too soon, Adam drew back.

"Thought I'd get us on the same page."

"Good thinking," Ezra gasped.

Ezra's legs were unsteady as he climbed onto the sofa, straddling Adam.

"I think I like this position."

Ezra leaned down to kiss Adam. He could taste both of them, mixing together in their mouths. After a few moments, he pulled back. He ran his tongue along the hard muscles of Adam's chest, to his abs, stopping to suckle here and there. He moved his hand to fondle Adam's balls and ass. He reached for the lube as he ran his tongue along Adam's belly button. Adam groaned, spreading his legs wider as Ezra's finger entered.

"Ezra," he pleaded again after a few minutes.

Ezra reached for the condom and Adam helped him slide it own. Adam held out a hand for Ezra to squeeze some lubricant on and he worked it along Ezra. Ezra moved Adam's legs and positioned himself.

"You ready?"

"God, yes."

Ezra grinned at him, leaning forward to kiss him as his dick pushed at Adam's entrance. Adam sighed as Ezra slowly entered, pausing along the way. Then he grabbed Ezra's hips and pulled him the rest of the way in. Adam wrapped his legs around Ezra as Ezra began to move. Ezra's hand stroked Adam's dick as his hips moved. Ezra moved slowly at first, coming almost out before sliding back in. Adam tried to speed it up but Ezra was in control. Finally Ezra began to increase the pace.

"Harder, Ezra, please."

Adam had one hand gripping Ezra's ass, willing him to go faster and he covered Ezra's hand with the other. Both their hands slid along Adam's dick. He wasn't sure whose hand was touching him at times.

"I can't hold it any longer, Adam."

"My God."

Adam felt Ezra stiffen as he too let go. Adam pulled Ezra to him, tremors going through both their bodies. He let his hands run up and down Ezra's damp back. He could feel Ezra's ragged breath against his ear. Gradually their breathing slowed.

Ezra shifted, slowly pulling out. Adam missed the sensation of Ezra being inside him immediately. He wrapped his arms back around Ezra, holding him close.

"I think we've broken this sofa in properly."

They both chuckled.

"Not yet, we haven't."

Ezra rose up slightly to look Adam in the eye.

"Not till after your turn."

Ezra smiled and Adam was pleased to see a flush creep up his neck.

"I think I need a minute to recharge."

Ezra lay back down on Adam's chest. He could hear Adam's heart thumping. He had tried not to think of the differences between Adam and Vin as they had made love. He was glad for them. Adam was nothing like Vin. Where Vin was lean, Adam was muscular. Adam had a broad chest and back. And his hair was cut military short, his eyes a golden brown. Ezra rose back up to kiss him. He grinned down at him.

"You have beautiful eyes."

"I could say the same."

Ezra ran a hand across Adam's prickly head.

"Too short?"

"On the contrary, I like it."

Adam pulled him closer and planted a kiss on Ezra's Adam's apple.

"I'm usually on top you know."

"Oh, you are, are you?"

"Yes, I'm a take charge, be-in-control sort of guy."

"MMmm?"

Ezra kissed along Adam's neck.

Suddenly Ezra was on his back, looking up at Adam.

"I'm quick too."

"That you are. I like that in a man, sometimes."

Adam kissed him, slowly and deeply. He pulled back, panting.

"I also know when to take my time."

"I like that, too." Ezra panted in return.

"How about I get us something to drink, while you rest?"

Ezra glanced toward his water glass.

"I could use some ice."

"At your service."

Adam got up and picking up Ezra's glass and his empty bottle. He headed toward the kitchen and Ezra was treated to a nice view of his backside. Ezra sighed and got up, heading to the bathroom. When he returned to the living room Adam was sitting on the couch, their drinks on the table.

"Bathroom?"

"Straight back, on your left."

Ezra picked up their clothes, folded them and placed them on a chair. He took a sip of water and sat on the couch. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He hadn't planned on tonight but he sure wouldn't change anything.

He looked up as Adam came back into the room. He let his eyes roam; looking over Adam's beautifully formed body.

Adam leaned down and gave Ezra a kiss. Ezra reached out to run a hand up the back of Adam's leg. Adam stood, grabbed his beer and sat beside Ezra, his arm on the back of the couch. He took a large swallow. He didn't know why but he was suddenly nervous.

Ezra ran his hand along Adam's chest. Adam felt goose bumps.

"You work out a lot?"

"Belong to a gym. I got almost every night."

Adam eyed Ezra's physic. "And you?"

"I have some weights in the spare bedroom."

Adam was down to half a beer. He finished the rest, surprised that his hand shook some as he put the bottle back on the table. He wiped his hands on his leg and placed them around Ezra. He laid Ezra back on the couch.

"Got your strength back?"

Ezra placed a hand behind Adam's neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

"I feel quite refreshed, and you?"

"I think I got a little left in me."

It was his turn to taste Ezra and he wanted to sample every spot. He kissed his jaw, down his neck, stopping to leave a mark on his neck. He ran his tongue slowly around each nipple, drawing them deeply into his mouth, making Ezra moan and pull him closer. He paid homage to Ezra's navel, he'd never known before that navels were so sensuous. His plan had been to work his way down Ezra's thighs but he couldn't resist tasting Ezra and then he couldn't stop. He drew Ezra deep into his mouth; he played with his balls and ran his fingers along the cheeks of Ezra's ass. He fumbled on the table for the lubrication and then became lost in the sensation of his fingers inside Ezra. He finally heard Ezra moaning his name.

"Ezra, is it all right?"

Ezra nodded but to his surprise Adam rearranged them so Ezra was on top again.

"You'll have control this way. Have you tried this?"

Ezra nodded. He and Vin had experimented some. Ezra straddled Adam's hips but moved back so he could take Adam's cock into his mouth. Another difference, his mind registered. Adam was thicker, longer than Vin. He savored that difference until he heard Adam's breathing quicken. He reached for a condom; Adam helped him as his hands shook slightly.

"We don't have to do this."

"Anticipation, not nerves," Ezra said smiling.

When they had Adam prepared, Adam pulled Ezra down for a kiss. Adam inserted first one, then two fingers as he kissed Ezra hard. Ezra pulled back panting and then lowered himself down. He felt the tip of Adam's cock teasing his opening an Adam's hand helped guide him. He let the head enter slightly and sat back slowly. Adam's hands trembled against his waist as he helped Ezra move down. Ezra paused, eyes closed and breathed deep.

"Take a deep breath, try and relax."

Ezra nodded, eyes still closed. It was a little uncomfortable but exquisite. He couldn't begin to describe the feeling if he tried. He began to move again.

Adam could feel his muscles tremble as he fought not to move. He couldn't believe how tight and hot Ezra felt as he lowered himself down his cock. He ached to thrust into him but he held himself still. There would hopefully be a chance for that another time.

Ezra stopped again. He began to move upward, slowly up, pausing and then back down again. He felt as if he was posting and that made him smile.

"Something funny?" Adam gasped.

Ezra smiled widely and shook his head. Adam gave a little shimmy with his hips and it was Ezra's turn to gasp. Adam made another bump, sliding again against Ezra's prostate. Ezra placed his hands on Adam's knees. He posted up and down, long slow movements. Adam couldn't help thrusting up to meet him. Their pace increased. Adam's hand stroked Ezra's cock, the other along Ezra's waist.

"Lean back a little."

Ezra leaned back; shifting more of his weight to Adam's bent knees. He was able to relax and Adam thrust upward.

"Oh, God."

Ezra leaned his head back, gasping. He felt Adam's hand tighten on his dick. He thrust forward into Adam's hand feeling Adam move upward inside him. He grabbed Adam's hand from his waist and moved it to his nipples. Adam got the hint and rubbed his finger over Ezra's nipples, tweaking them. Ezra leaned forward some and Adam shifted his hips. Their movements became erratic. Adam had both hands around Ezra's waist and they pounded together. Ezra came, squeezing his cheeks and then it was Adam's turn. They shuddered. Adam leaned Ezra forward and gently guided himself out. Ezra collapsed on top of him.

"You all right?"

Ezra nodded.

They lay like that, breathing hard. Adam ran his hands continuously up and down Ezra's damp back. Finally Ezra spoke in a labored voice.

"I thought you liked to be on top, in control."

"I do. With anyone but you, Ezra. You have control over me."

Ezra raised up enough to kiss him. Soft and gentle kisses and then he laid his head back beside Adam's neck. Adam felt him relax.

"Hey, don't fall asleep. This couch is nice but it's gonna be uncomfortable."

Ezra nodded and pushed himself up. He gingerly got off the couch and held a hand out to help Adam up. He pulled Adam close for a kiss and then led him to the bathroom. He ran some warm water as Adam got a washcloth. With much kissing them managed to clean each other off. Then Ezra stopped.

"Um, you are staying the night, aren't you?"

"If you want me to, I'd like that a lot."

"I hope you don't snore," Ezra said smiling.

Adam grinned. "Not much, you're use to airports, right?"

Laughing, they headed to Ezra's bedroom. Adam sighed as he spotted Ezra's king size bed. He usually had trouble finding a bed his toes didn't hang off of. Ezra pulled back the covers and crawled in, Adam right behind him.

"Do you have a certain side you like?"

"Right next to you will be fine."

Adam opened his arms, pulling Ezra to him as Ezra adjusted the covers. Ezra wrapped an arm around Adam's waist, pushing a leg through his. They snuggled close, Ezra laying his head on Adam's chest.

"Night, Adam."

"Night, sugar."

Ezra smiled as he shifted against Adam, getting comfortable. No, tonight hadn't ended like he had thought it would and he was glad. He hadn't planned on sleeping with Adam so soon but he was glad he did.

+ + + + + + +

Adam reached for the ringing phone but it wasn't there. He opened his eyes and immediately remembered he was in Ezra's bed. He felt behind him, rubbing a hand along Ezra's hip.

"Ezra, phone."

Ezra cursed, reaching over Adam. He groped then moved further over Adam, who shifted onto his back. Ezra moved to the edge of the bed and grabbed the phone.

Hello?" his voice hoarse with sleep.

"Buck, what do you want?"

"Yeah, no, I remember."

Adam ran a hand across Ezra's back, Ezra was sprawled across him, butt up.

His hand drifted downward.

"Okay, YES," Ezra squeaked as Adam's hand brushed his balls.

"No, I'm fine."

Adam moved so he could run his tongue across Ezra's cheeks. Ezra jumped.

"OH, no, nothing, Buck. Yeah, look I gotta go." Ezra moaned softly as Adam's tongue and hand caressed his ass.

"Yes, yes! See you." Ezra quickly hung up.

Ezra put his head down on the bed.

"Thank wasn't very nice."

Adam chuckled. "Well, there is was, right in front of me. I'm only human, Ezra."

Ezra moved back, lying on top of Adam. They kissed, each one growing deeper. Adam rolled so he had Ezra under him.

"Adam?"

"Hmmm?"

"That was Buck."

"MMmm." Adam was nibbling Ezra's neck again. He didn't know why but he loved kissing him there.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to, but Chris is having a cookout, if you want to come with me."

Adam stopped and looked down at Ezra.

"You want me to come?"

"Yes, I'd like that."

"You don't think the others would mind?"

"No, well, you might need to ignore Nathan. He didn't approve of Vin seeing me, thought I had corrupted him. Blamed me for Vin leaving," Ezra shrugged, "which is true."

Adam started kissing the other side of Ezra's neck.

"I'd love to go." He said between kisses.

"Good, then get your ass up. We need to leave soon."

Ezra pinched said ass as Adam rolled over.

"Hey, watch the hands mister."

Ezra shuck out his tongue as he headed to the door.

"And don't try tempting me like that!" Adam yelled as Ezra disappeared out the door.

"Start the shower, will you?" Ezra called back.

Adam grinned as he went into the master bathroom. He turned the water on in the huge shower. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He had a goofy smile on his face. He shuck his own tongue out.

"How did you get so lucky?" he said to his reflection.

He got in, adjusting the water and heard Ezra come in the door. After a flush, Ezra slid open the shower door, coming up behind him.

"Starting without me?"

"Nah, just getting things ready."

Ezra's hands reached around his waist, stroking Adam's growing erection. He rubbed his own against Adam's butt.

"I see you are."

Ezra planted kisses along Adam's back and shoulders as his hands continued to roam. Adam reached his soapy hands behind him, sliding them along Ezra's cheeks.

Adam turned, running his hands alternately from Ezra's ass to his crotch. He moved so the water cascaded down the front of both of them. He followed the water down, kissing and licking towards his goal. He soaped a hand again as his mouth found Ezra. He played with the head as his soapy hand ran up and down Ezra's cheeks. Ezra leaned back against the shower wall, spreading his legs.

Ezra moaned as Adam's finger entered him. He lost himself in the two sensations, Adam's mouth and his hand. He groaned low as Adam sucked harder. Then he stopped.

Adam stood, turning Ezra so he faced the wall. He grabbed one of the condoms he had found in the bathroom, and with shaky hands put it on. He quickly soaped himself and then stroked Ezra's ass again. Adam reached around, soaping Ezra's dick as he positioned himself. He pulled Ezra's hips back some, and slowly entered. He paused, letting Ezra adjust. Ezra moaned again, moving slightly.

Adam slowly entered, his hands never stopped moving as he stroked Ezra and leaned closer.

"Relax, baby. I don't want to hurt you."

Ezra nodded, he pressed his forehead against the cool shower wall. The exquisite feeling was back but he wanted more. He pushed back, pushing Adam in more and he gasped as Adam brushed his prostate.

Adam put a hand to Ezra's hip. He began to move in long slow strokes. It was torture; it was heaven, feeling Ezra tight around him. He closed his eyes, concentrating. The feel of being inside Ezra, the silky smoothness of Ezra in his hand. He began to speed up. He only heard the sounds of their breathing and groans as they came closer and closer. Adam didn't want it to end, he wanted to stand here forever, deep inside this man but he couldn't hold it back.

Adam leaned forward, his arm tight around Ezra's waist as he pounded against him. He bit Ezra's shoulder and Ezra groaned, pushing back more.

Adam wasn't sure what Ezra was moaning over and over at first and then he heard him.

"Oh, god. Oh, god."

And they came. He felt the warmth over his hand as he felt himself release deep inside and for a split second he wished there was no condom in the way. Wished his seed was free to spread inside. He wrapped both arms around Ezra as he leaned forward, the wall holding them both up.

They stayed that way a few moments and then Adam slowly withdrew. Ezra groaned as Adam slipped out. He removed the condom, setting it on the tub. Ezra didn't move. He stood there, head still against the wall.

Adam soaped up his hands and began washing them. He kissed Ezra gently as he turned him around.

"Tilt your head back."

Ezra did, letting the water drench his hair. Adam kept on hand around Ezra's waist as he reached for the shampoo. He lathered Ezra's hair, loving the silky feel of it. Ezra made noises of contentment but still hadn't said a word. Adam felt his heart rate increasing. Adam rinsed them both then turned off the water. He helped Ezra out of the shower. Adam dried them both off, still Ezra didn't speak.

"Are you all right?"

Ezra nodded.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Ezra shook his head.

Adam went to the living room, searching for his clothes. He smiled when he found them folded on a chair. Then he frowned. Why wasn't Ezra talking? Had he hurt him? Damn it, he'd rushed things, he knew it. He put on his dress pants and shirt and went into the bedroom. Ezra was lying back on the bed with only a pair of silk boxers on. His eyes were closed.

Adam sat down beside him. He leaned back on one arm, letting his hand caress Ezra's chest.

"You sure you're okay?"

Ezra nodded, eyes still closed.

"Ezra, look, I'm sorry. I know we said we were gonna take things slow but.... I hope I haven't messed things up. I know it isn't an excuse but, I just couldn't stop myself. Seeing you in the shower like that, I'd wanted to do, "he stopped himself. "I don't know Ezra, I, I'm insatiable around you."

Ezra's hand came up to cover his. He opened his eyes. He saw the worried look on Adam's face, the concern. He reached up, placing a hand behind Adam's neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

"It isn't that," Ezra whispered in his ear. "It's all happened so fast-"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"No," Ezra smiled at him. "I didn't mean that. Everything's changing so fast and everything's different. And I'm glad they are different. Nothing you do reminds me of Vin and I'm glad. And I feel guilty that I'm glad. I feel guilty that I'm making love to someone else but I love it too." Ezra smiled weakly.

"Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?"

"Yes, it does."

He kissed Ezra again and got up.

"I smell coffee. I'll go pour us some while you finish getting dressed?"

Ezra smiled and reached out for Adam's hand. Adam took it, squeezed it lightly and then left.

Ezra got slowly up. Muscles he didn't remember having or knowing about protested slightly. He felt good. Tired, wore out but good. He smiled as he pulled a pair of jeans from the closet. He felt stupidly happy. He was glad he'd met Adam. Glad that he was the one to come after Vin. He felt a lurch in his heart. He still loved Vin. He was sorry things had ended like they did. Why hadn't he told Vin about Maude? Would they be together now if he had? If he had one regret in life, it was that. Had he not trusted Vin's love enough to tell him? Is that what Vin thought? He shook his head. Beating himself up about it wasn't going to change anything. He had tried to fix things but he couldn't.

He finished getting dressed and headed for the kitchen. Adam was sitting there, drinking coffee. He had the curtains to the sliding glass door open. He was watching some bird investigate the crackers he had thrown onto the patio.

Ezra went to stand beside him. When he looked up, Ezra leaned down to kiss him. Several kisses later, he pulled back.

"Thank you."

Adam looked puzzled.

"For what?"

"Everything. Last night, this morning, for understanding and for helping me move forward."

Adam smiled. It was a beautiful smile. It lit his face and made his eyes sparkle. Ezra was amazed all over again as to how handsome he was.

"You're welcome."

Ezra smiled back. He gave Adam another kiss before moving to get his own coffee. He winced slightly as he sat.

"You okay?"

Ezra chuckled.

"Just a little sore. I didn't know I was bedding some wild stallion last night."

Adam smiled blushing. "It's your own fault." He said seriously.

Ezra raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it is," Adam continued. "if you weren't so damn addicting. I haven't been that horny since I was a teenager."

It was Ezra's turn to blush. "I'll try to tone it down," he said grinning.

Adam shook his head. "Don't think that will help. I'll just have to suffer."

Ezra reached a hand out to take his across the table.

"Well, I won't let you suffer alone."

They finished their coffee, sitting there, holding hands and watching the birds. Ezra looked up as the clock chimed.

"We better be going."

He got up, putting his mug in the sink.

"Should we take something?"

"Whatever we want to drink. I guess we should take a few steaks. Since you are so insatiable, there may not be enough for everyone."

He grinned at Adam over his shoulder.

Adam got up to place his mug in the sink too. He pulled Ezra close against him, kissing his neck.

"Guess we should, I don't like the idea of sharing."

Ezra laughed, grabbing his keys from the coffee table as they headed out. As he locked the door, Adam jangled his keys.

"Want to drive?"

Ezra looked at Adam's big 4 wheel drive truck parked at the curb. Under the mud, it was red, with huge tires.

Ezra took the keys. "I'd be delighted."

Ezra climbed behind the wheel. He buckled up and smiled over at Adam beside him. He reached out a hand to caress Adam's thigh.

"I'm glad to see my preconceived notion about men who drive these monsters isn't true."

"What notion is that?"

Ezra moved his hand up to caress Adam through his pants.

"That men bought these trucks to compensate for inadequacies else where."

Ezra squeezed his hand slightly.

"Thanks, I think."

+ + + + + + +

"Thanks for letting me stop and change. I hope we aren't too late."

"Fashionable late. Chris never expects to see me on time. I've trained him well."

Adam grinned. He looked down where he held Ezra's hand. All the things he'd dreamed about even 24 hours ago were now true. He was holding Ezra's hand; they had made love not once but several times. He squeezed Ezra's hand then pulled it to his lips.

"You sure no one is going to mind me crashing this party?"

"No, and it's not a party. I'm sure they will be wondering about us."

Adam smile widely.

"I don't think they'll wonder too long."

Ezra looked at his questionably but he didn't say more.

+ + + + + + +

"Hey, there is some strange truck coming up the drive."

Chris turned to where JD stood at the window.

"You don't recognize it?"

JD shook his head.

"Maybe someone's lost." Buck moved to look out too.

"Ezra's driving!" JD moved the curtain wider. "Oh my god. Look who's getting out!"

Chris and Josiah moved to the window as Ezra parked and Adam got out of the passenger side.

"That's Adam." JD said unnecessarily.

"What do you think that means?" Buck said turning to Chris.

Chris shrugged.

"It looks like we have an audience." Ezra said as Adam unloaded the coolers from the back.

Adam glanced to the porch where he could see several faces at the windows. The curtains closed suddenly. He laughed.

"The wondering begins." Ezra said as he picked up a cooler.

Adam smirked behind him. The door opened as they hit the steps.

"Ezra, glad you made it."

Buck moved to take one of the bags Ezra was holding.

"Good to see you, Adam."

"Buck, JD."

"God Ezra, is that a hickey?"

Ezra's face flushed as his hand when to his neck. Everyone busted out laughing. Buck slapped JD in the back of the head.

"Surely you've seen one before, Mr. Dunne." Ezra turned to glare at Adam.

Adam shrugged as he tried to stop laughing. "I told you they wouldn't wonder long."

"You might have informed me." Ezra grumbled as they headed to the kitchen.

Chris put out a hand.

"Glad you could join us, Adam. You haven't been here before, have you?"

"No, I missed the last big party you threw out here."

"Well, you are always welcome. Let me give you a quick tour."

Ezra shot a worried look at the retreating forms of Chris and Adam.

"Don't worry, Ez. You know Daddy Chris needs to check out the new man in your life."

"I hope you aren't claiming the role of mother?"

Buck laughed. "I'm crushed. I think I'd do a good job."

Ezra smiled. Yes, Buck would make a much better mother than the one he had.

+ + + + + + +

"Are you having a good time?"

They sat on the back porch watching Buck grill and Chris, Josiah, JD and Nathan throw a Frisbee around.

Adam glanced towards the others and then ran a hand along Ezra's back. He leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Yes, I am. They've all been great."

"Even the dark looks Nathan has been shooting at us?"

"I'm not worried about him. Chris doesn't mind you're gay? I don't think I could ever come out to my boss."

Ezra frowned slightly.

"No," he laughed a little. "Chris doesn't have a problem with it. He's-"

"Hey, lovebirds. You wanna bring out some plates? This is almost ready."

Buck waved the spatula at them.

"I'll get them. Go make sure he doesn't burn anything."

Ezra went inside as Adam headed toward the grill.

"You need any help?"

"Nah, I'm the master griller. Don't tell Chris though, he thinks he is."

Adam smiled as he looked to where the other men moved around the yard.

"Sure is pretty out here."

"Yeah, we like it. Nice to get away from the city. Chris keeps horses." Buck nodded toward the barn. "Do you ride?"

"Not since I was a kid, I wasn't very good."

"We'll teach ya, if you're interested. We like to take camping trips when the weather is nice. If you're still around then."

Adam smiled at Buck's not so subtle question.

"Well, that gives me time to get better."

Buck smiled. "Yeah. Don't worry about Chris. He's protective of us all and we've been worried about Ezra since Vin left. Hell, if it wasn't for those two, we-"

"Buck, you're not telling Adam some wild tales are you?" Ezra put the plates he was carrying on the picnic table.

"No, we were talking about horses."

"He was asking me if I rode." Adam smiled meaningfully at Ezra, who blushed.

"Hey, Adam. Come help us. Chris is getting too old."

"Watch it, kid." Chris laughed as he joined them at the grill. "I need to make sure Buck doesn't burn anything."

Buck started to protest and Chris grabbed him from behind, placing a kiss on his neck. Adam's mouth fell open.

"You're.... you two...?" He sputtered.

The three men laughed.

"You didn't know Chris and Buck were together?"

Adam turned to Ezra.

"No, I would have never guessed."

Chris and Buck laughed. Chris rubbed against Buck's ass.

"No one suspects old stud here. The big flirt."

"Animal magnetism, Chris. I keep telling ya, I ain't got control over it."

Laughing they all drifted away leaving Buck and Ezra alone.

"So," Buck said, watching Adam leave. "got yourself a nice big one? He looks like he works out."

Ezra sighed. "Alas, no."

"No?"

Ezra lowered his voice, looking around. Buck looked around too.

"I think he's been taking steroids."

"Really?"

Ezra nodded and continued. "You know what they do, right?"

"Make you bigger?"

Ezra shook his head, sadly. "Muscles yes, but they make," he glanced downward towards Buck's crotch, "they make other things shrivel up."

Buck looked horrified. "Shrivel up?"

Ezra nodded. "He tries though. Compensates in other ways." He smiled weakly.

+ + + + + + +

"Why does Buck keep looking at my crotch?"

Ezra shrugged trying to hide a smile. "Buck is strange sometimes."

Adam glanced at Buck, frowning.

"Hey, Adam."

"Yeah?"

"Is it true?"

"What, JD?"

"Buck says taking steroids gave you a shriveled pickle."

"What?"

"I said he had a gherkin, JD." Buck aimed a smack at JD but he ducked.

"Where would Buck get the idea I was on steroids?" Adam said quietly as everyone laughed.

Ezra shrugged, grinning. "Payback is hell."

+ + + + + + +

"So you had a good time?"

Adam turned from watching the road. It was dark and the road wasn't familiar.

"I had a great time. I'm glad you invited me."

"Me too." Ezra moved to sit closer. Their hands entwined.

"You know, this truck is quite roomy."

"Yeah, I got the extra cab space."

"These seats are quite comfortable too."

"Yeah." Adam looked over at him and Ezra smiled.

"What do you have in mind, Standish?"

"Well, we did break in my sofa. I think it's only fair we christen some of your things."

Adam jerked the wheel, heading off road.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't want some good citizen to stop and see if we need help and catch sight of my ass hanging out the window."

"Good thinking."

Adam stopped when he was a good ways off the road. He popped the sunroof and turned off the engine. Ezra unbuckled his seat belt and moved toward the door.

Adam undid his seatbelt, sliding closer to Ezra.

"Let's see just how much room these seats have."

He lowered himself into Ezra's arms. Their kisses hot and urgent. Their hands burrowed under their clothes, seeking warm flesh. Adam pushed Ezra's shirt up, lips finding his nipples and locking on. Ezra moaned as he touched every part of Adam that he could reach. He unfastened Adam's jeans, glad that Adam went commando. It was Adam's turn to moan as Ezra's hands caressed him.

Adam jerked Ezra's pants down, fumbling with Ezra's shoes; he tossed the pants to the driver's side. He couldn't wait to taste Ezra again, feel him in his mouth.

Ezra moaned and arched up. Adam ran his hands up Ezra's ass, kneading it. He drew back after a few moments.

"I want you inside, okay?"

Ezra nodded and Adam reached inside the glove compartment. He'd picked up a few things at his house. He rose up to remove his own pants. Ezra's hands stopped him, then his mouth, as Ezra did his own tasting.

Ezra reached for the lubricant in Adam's hand. He eased his fingers in slowly, pulling Adam closer as he knelt on the seat.

"God, Ezra."

Ezra reached for the condom that Adam had dropped. He quickly unwrapped it, helping Adam step out of his pants.

"Ow." Adam said as he hit his head on the top of the cab.

"Here. Move down."

Ezra's hands around his hips guided him down. He sighed as Ezra entered him. They both voiced their pleasure. Adam lowered slowly into Ezra's lap. He leaned slightly forward to keep his head from hitting the ceiling.

Ezra's fingers dug into his ass, urging him to move faster. All too soon, the end came.

Adam collapsed against Ezra, feeling his strong arms caressing his back. He sighed against Ezra's ear.

"On top again, I see?"

Adam placed a kiss along Ezra's neck. "I try and make up for my inadequacies."

Ezra laughed. "Sorry about that."

"I'll let you make it up to me, later."

+ + + + + + +

"No regrets?"

Adam whispered in Ezra's ear as they lay spooned in bed. He rubbed gently across Ezra's chest then pulled Ezra closer.

Ezra shifted back, fitting himself against Adam.

"Not about you." He paused. "You?"

"Maybe one."

Ezra turned to look back over his shoulder.

"I regret that my new last name is ‘Gherkin' instead of Gershund."

+ + + + + + +

Chris sat at his desk, reviewing the list. He thought they had everything covered. Each man had his assignment, he was confident they would get the job done. He reached to answer the phone.

"Larabee."

"Chris, glad I caught you before you left for lunch."

Chris glanced at the clock, mentally calculating. After 2 in New York. It had been almost a month since he'd last talked to Vin.

"Vin, good to hear you. Doing okay?"

Vin sighed. "Yeah, doing better. Look, I'll get right to the point. Is that offer still open?"

"Offer?"

"My job, is it still available?"

"Uh, sure Vin. You know you are always welcome here. It won't be a problem, with you and Ezra."

Vin laughed. "Well, I'm hoping he still wants me to come back too."

Chris hesitated.

"When was the last time you spoke to Ezra?"

Vin's voice was suddenly wary. "Not since he came out here. Why?"

"Well, Vin. Ezra said things were over between you two. He's...he's moved on."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, yes."

"Is it that guy I met, that jarhead looking dude?"

"Yes, his name is Adam. We've all met him and like him."

"Oh."

Vin was said nothing for a minute.

"Guess I should have said something to Ezra earlier."

"Yeah, I think that would have been a good idea."

"Life seems to be full of regrets doesn't it? Stuff we should have done, should have said."

"I know Ezra regrets not telling about Maude."

"Yeah, me too. Well, good thing I haven't quit."

"You can always come see us. We do miss you, Vin."

"Yeah, maybe I'll do that."

But they both knew it wasn't true. A small part of Vin was glad Ezra was happy but he couldn't stand seeing him with someone else. He made his goodbyes and hung up the phone.

He sat staring out the window, looking down onto the street. Spring would be here soon. It wasn't as spectacular here in the city but there were still signs. He thought suddenly of Springs spent at Chris' ranch. Their yearly camping trip, cool nights spent zipped up with Ezra in a sleeping bag. He sighed. Yeah, he had plenty of regrets.

Chris hung up the phone, lost in thought. Why hadn't Vin told Ezra sooner? Why hadn't Ezra told Vin long ago about Maude's threats? What would things be like now? He didn't hear Buck enter his office.

"Hey, you in there?" Buck was snapping his fingers in front of Chris.

"Something wrong?"

"That was Vin. He wanted to come back, fix things with Ezra."

"Now?"

Chris nodded.

"Shit, you told him?"

"Yeah. I couldn't let him make a decision like that not knowing the truth."

"Truth." Buck sighed. "Things get fucked up don't they?"

Chris leaned back in his chair, nodding.

"So? What is he gonna do?"

"He's staying there. What can he do? I know Ezra still loves him, deep down but I don't think he'd just drop Adam."

Buck shook his head. "Nah, those two are happy."

Chris sighed.

"You gonna tell him?"

"Hell, no. I don't think that would solve anything, do you?"

"No."

They sat there, both lost in thought.

"We ready?"

Buck sat up. "Yeah, got the truck all packed. The others are heading to the ranch."

"Good. I'm looking forward to our camping trip."

Buck smiled. "Yeah, I think we'll make a cowboy out of Adam yet."

Chris grinned. "He's been working hard. I think he'll do fine."

They headed for the elevator. As they rode down, Chris turned to Buck.

"You got any regrets, Buck?"

Buck smiled. "Nope. Not a one. ‘Cept maybe us noticing each other a little sooner, maybe. You?"

Chris smiled and leaned in for a brief kiss.

"Nope. Can't think of a single one."

They both smiled as they exited the elevator, heading for the truck full of supplies for their annual camping trip. Buck bumped Chris' shoulder as he moved to the passenger side. Chris smiled as he unlocked the truck. No, he thought, he didn't have any regrets regarding him and Buck. He wished things had worked out between Vin and Ezra but there was nothing he could do to fix that. He hoped Vin was truly happy with the FBI.

"We ready?"

Buck clicked his seatbelt. "Ready."

They drove off, Buck moving to take Chris' hand as they hit the street. The sun was shining, the weather finally warmer. They were both looking to some time way from work, some play time. There was no time for regrets.

The End