It's a quiet morning. We so rarely get to spend a whole night
together, so this is a special occasion. It's also Valentine's Day,
something I've never paid much attention to, but this year, it seems
special. Maybe because it's the first one, and all my first times with
him have been so very special.
I love Buck more than I ever thought I could love anyone.
The most wonderful thing is that he loves me back.
I'll never forget all of our first times together. And we have so many
more to look forward to.
I move further into Buck's warm, strong arms, and I remember some of
our first times.
The first time ever I saw your face....
I thought the sun rose in your eyes...
I remember the very first time I saw Buck. I was saying that I could
ride, and shoot, and all the things I thought would convince the others
to let me go with them. Not that it worked then. Later, it did. I
still think that Buck had a lot to do with convincing Chris to let me
be a part of that.
Buck...
My first impressions were of a tall man, dark hair and eyes...eyes that
rivalled the sky for blueness. I swear the sun could rise in them.
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave...
To the dark and the endless skies my love...
To the dark and the endless skies...
There were dark times then, though. Buck's taking that sword cut for
me...god, I thought I'd lost him then. I wouldn't have been surprised
if he'd died from that wound. It was bad. He still has the
scar...probably always will.
I kiss it every time we make love. I have a need to. A need to keep
that darkness away.
The first time ever I kissed your mouth...
I felt the earth move through my hand...
Then there was our first kiss. I initiated it. I don't know if Buck
ever *could* have taken that step. I think Buck wanted me to be with
Casey. He told me he would have gladly let me go to be with her. But
I never loved Casey. I liked her, I still do. But it could never be
love. Not like it is with Buck.
Our first kiss was earth-shaking, though. I'd had a couple of shots.
Don't think I could've done it without them. We were talking, I think
Buck was telling me about the latest woman he wanted to charm, and I
just got *so* sick of his not getting any of the hints I'd been
dropping for months that I beckoned him toward me. He bent close, and
taking a deep breath, I leaned forward and kissed him. I'll never
forget the taste of him. Spicy and sweet and something unique...
indescribably Buck.
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird...
The hardest thing I've ever had to do was to look at him in that moment
after kissing him. I didn't know what his reaction would be. And
then he took my hand, so delicately, and pressed a kiss into the palm,
then he placed my hand on his chest. I could feel his heart
beating...trembling. And I knew, without words, that he wanted
this...wanted me...as much as I did.
And I knew I'd made the right decision. Especially when he kissed me
then.
That was there at my command, my love...
That was there at my command, my love...
I knew I had him then. Or that he had me. Or that we had each other.
And I knew I was where I wanted to be for the rest of my life.
That's when I told him that I loved him.
He said that he loved me. And that if I wanted him, he wasn't strong
enough to hold back. He would have been if I hadn't. I asked him how
I could not love him, and he didn't answer. I didn't know then...I
didn't know how deeply he'd been scarred by some of the things that had
happened to him. I'm helping him get past them, though. And he's
helping me get past some of my demons too.
The first time ever I lay with you...
I felt your heart so close to mine...
When we made love for the first time...although the sex was beautiful
and wonderful and fulfilling...the best time was after. When we lay,
so close together, and I could feel his heart beat under mine. That's
still my favourite part of being with him, and I think it always will
be.
And I knew our joy would fill the earth...
And last till the end of time my love...
And last till the end of time...
That utter joy...that feeling of knowing that he loves me as much as I
love him. I can't stop thinking about it. I never want to. I want to
love Buck and be loved by him for the rest of my life.
And I know that it will happen.
The first time ever I saw your face...
It was going to happen from the first time I saw Buck's face.
He stirs, and his eyes open.
"Happy Valentine's Day," I whisper, kissing him gently.
The End
