Discoveries

Vin Tanner couldn't sleep. The memories were overwhelming him. He remembered, god, was it only a week ago? No more than ten days at the outside.

The 'outraged husband' act he'd put on, to lure Chris's friend from his liaison with some lovely woman.

He remembered seeing the man's back, god, he was big, heading out the window as he entered the room.

He'd given the woman some excuse, knowing that she didn't have a leg to stand on in the outraged department. Hell, if he'd been Chris's friend, he would probably have done the same thing. She was a beauty, if slightly faded. He didn't think of her once after he turned to leave the room, though.

As Vin had walked down the stairs, he'd recalled not the woman's slightly over-ripe curves, but the broad, muscular shoulders of the man who he'd only caught a glimpse of.

Had these feelings been happening since then? Vin wondered

As Vin had walked out of the saloon, he had been aware of the sun behind the two men he was to meet. He later laughed at himself for being fanciful, but the sunlight had seemed to turn the man he didn't know yet to gold.

Vin had stood there, speechless, as the man had come forward, hand outstretched. He'd managed to shake it, murmuring his name to the other man's boisterous introduction of himself.

Buck Wilmington...Vin had heard the name before. He was good. Damn good. With a gun, and his reputation with the ladies had to be heard to be believed. Not that Vin would argue it. Buck had an air about him, one that Vin couldn't describe, but it affected him in ways that no one had affected him in years.

Vin hadn't had much time to dwell on his reaction to the other man during their defense of the Indian village. It had been life or death too damn many times to dwell on anything but survival until their return to Four Corners.

And now, Vin couldn't sleep for his thoughts of the other man. It wasn't the first time he'd had such thoughts. There were a lot of ways that men out on the long trails got around the fact that there were no women for miles. Vin had never gone further than kissing and hand relief. He'd never quite been able to take a further step than that. Or maybe it was as simple as the fact that he'd never wanted to take the further step until he met Buck.

Who could charm any woman he chose, according to Chris.

If the man could have any woman he wanted, what on earth would he want with a long-haired skinny cowboy like Vin?

Vin was completely unaware of his attractions, his beautiful long hair, his slim but muscular build and the blue, blue eyes that were possibly his best feature.

He tossed and turned for a few more minutes, until, with a sigh of frustration, he decided to head downstairs for a shot or four of whiskey. Maybe that would help him to sleep.

Moving quietly, so as not to wake any of the others, Vin moved downstairs to the bar.

He managed to bite back a loud sigh of frustration as he realised that a lamp was lit. Maybe it was Ezra, who'd been playing a mark when he had gone upstairs. He wouldn't mind a friendly hand or two of poker, although he would have to insist on low stakes.

He then wondered which hand of fate he'd managed to piss off this time, as he realised that it wasn't Ezra. Buck Wilmington sat at a table with a half-empty bottle of whiskey.

Vin intended to turn around and go back to his room, he really did. But, of course, the other man just happened to look up as he made to turn around.

"Vin, I was gettin' tired of drinkin' alone. Come join me," and Vin could no more resist an invitation from Buck, even one as casually issued as this, than he could stop breathing.

'Tanner, he'd say the same thing to any of the others. Don't attach any meaning to it, and you won't be disappointed,' Vin admonished himself as he pulled a chair up to the table next to Buck.

"What's got you unable to sleep on a night like this?" Buck asked, casually, as he poured Vin a shot.

"I guess, after all the excitement, it's kinda hard to get back into a normal routine," Vin hesitantly replied, feeling heat radiating from the other man.

"What's a normal routine?" Buck asked sarcastically.

"You know, whatever you do when you're not protectin' a village," Vin replied, swallowing the shot.

"That's not usually much," Buck grimaced.

"Could've fooled me," Vin murmured.

"The woman? Or women in general? Yeah, they're a pleasant diversion. But it's sometimes too much of a diversion, if you know what I mean."

"Not really," Vin was puzzled.

"Well..." Buck hesitated a little, but remembered that Vin had been out on the long trails too.

"Well," he began again, "It's one thing to spend time with a woman, but...it's quite another to spend the same kind of time with a man."

"I'm sorry?" Vin couldn't help a shocked exclamation.

"I like the ladies, and I'm not going to deny that, but...hell, Vin, you know what it's like out on the long trails, no women for a hundred miles or more, someone you'd trust with your life beside you, and there's a part of you that yells that it's a sin because he's a man, but the part of you that needs to be held and comforted is yelling louder, and he feels the same way..."

"I know," Vin replied quietly.

"The problem is," Buck swallowed another shot, "Sometimes...it's hard to forget that 'civilisation' isn't the long trails. And that kind of...diversion...with another man is harder to keep secret."

"I've never tried," Vin replied honestly.

"I have, once or twice. It always seemed to be discovered, or he'd ride off into the sunset, or we'd decide that keeping it secret was too hard. Or we'd have no excuse to keep seeing each other."

"That can't have been easy," Vin sympathised.

"No, but it was sure worth it. The problem is now, I think there's someone that I'd like to try that kind of...diversion... with. But I don't know how he would feel about it. I guess we can always just pretend to be friends. Or sort of friends, anyway."

"Who is it?" Vin asked, certain that it was JD. The way Buck and he had bantered, it had almost been like flirtation, and if they had been a man and a woman, it would have been interpreted that way. And if it weren't JD, it was probably Buck's old friend Chris.

"I'd rather not say who just yet, Vin. I hope you can understand."

"Of course. May I ask why you told me this?"

"Hell if I know. I wouldn't have told anyone if you hadn't come downstairs. But that's not why I told you. I just...don't know."

Vin nodded, slowly, understanding more than was said. Buck hadn't wanted a confidante, but when Vin had walked into the bar, he had decided to talk to Vin, who had been out on the long trails and would understand. Which he did, all too well. Buck seemed to have it much more figured out than Vin did. Then again, Vin hadn't really thought about more than finding out what these strange feelings coursing through him were. Well, he knew what they were, at least mostly. They were mostly desire and want. There was a deeper emotion, but Vin shied away from thinking what it might be. It was way too soon for those thoughts, and from the conversation with Buck, it probably always would be.

"What are you thinkin' about so intently, Vin?"

"What you said. I think...you probably told me about your thoughts and...feelings, because I know what it's like, at least kind of. Like you said, I've been out on the long trails. That's something that someone who hasn't done it can't understand. And I've had those same thoughts and feelings that you talked about."

"You've...lain with a man?"

"A few times. Sometimes, the need for another's touch overrides everything else, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does. I gotta admit, though, I'm not real hung up on all that sinful attitude the church takes to this kind of thing. How can something that brings such joy and happiness be wrong?"

"I don't think it is, Buck. I don't hold with much of the church's attitude toward anything, either." Vin swallowed more whiskey, and managed to scrape up enough courage to ask once more, "Who is it you feel this way about, Buck? Is it JD? He's a little green, but you could persuade him in a moment. Or is it Chris?"

Buck chuckled, a warm, deep sound.

"It'd be a hell of a lot easier if it were. JD's barely been with a woman, I suspect, and it's much easier to talk about this stuff with someone who hasn't had a lot of experience. Chris... he's still in mourning for his wife and son, and that's all he can think of. I don't know if he can ever open up enough to care about anyone else, and I don't think it's likely to be me. Which is a good thing, as it's not him either."

Vin was surprised. he hadn't noticed Buck spending enough time with Ezra, Josiah or Nathan....except when he'd been cut by Anderson's sword. That must be it. And there was Nathan's race to consider...or not, if Buck really wanted him.

"It's Nathan, isn't it?" Vin spoke softly.

"What?"

"He's the one you...want."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I don't get that...feeling from you and Josiah, and Ezra's more interested in cards."

"And you get that feeling from me and Nathan?" Buck didn't sound like he was agreeing exactly, more curious.

"Well, he's the only other possibility. Unless it's someone else in town."

"There was one possibility that you didn't mention," Buck pointed out.

"No there wasn't."

"Vin, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Couldn't you be who I'm talking about?"

Vin couldn't take any more, and decided that he was sick of this dancing around the subject.

"No, I couldn't, because I can't allow myself to hope that you feel the same way that I do."

That had shocked the other man.

"What?"

"I think it's been happening since I saw you going out the window of this place. Chris told me about you, you know. How good you are with a gun, and how you can charm any woman, and, I guess, any man, that you choose. Why would you think twice about a skinny, long-haired cowboy?"

"Well, I wouldn't. But I would think about a man who's willing to put his life on the line to see justice done. A man who is not skinny, but slim, and muscular. A man with hair I'd love to run my fingers through. A man with the bluest eyes I've ever seen. And I'd think about him a hell of a lot more than twice."

"You would?"

"Vin, I think I've wanted you since...hell, I don't know when. It's never been like this for me before, not with a man."

The intensity of Buck's words and his gaze went straight to Vin's groin.

"If you're serious..."

"That is one thing that you don't have to doubt, Vin. I'm dead serious."

"If you're serious, Buck, we'd better get out of here before I embarrass myself."

"Let's go upstairs, then," Buck suggested quietly, extending a hand to Vin as he rose.

Vin couldn't do anything else but take the large hand. It was what they both wanted, so he didn't need to argue, or vie for the lead. In fact, it was nice to allow someone else to take the lead. He'd always been the one to do that in his encounters with women. There had been too few encounters with men for him to form a basis for comparison.

It only took them a moment to walk up the stairs, leaving the bottle after a questioning look from Vin.

"I want to experience you, not liquor," Buck explained.

As soon as the door of Buck's room (which was slightly nearer to the stairs) closed behind them, Buck took Vin into his arms, wanting to feel the other man. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, too gentle for Vin, who moaned and arched his body into the other man's.

"You do want this," Buck marvelled as he felt Vin's erection move against him.

"Why do you think I couldn't sleep?" Vin asked, teasingly, "Thoughts of you had me so hot, I couldn't close my eyes."

Buck grinned and kissed Vin again, harder, more passionately.

Vin's hands, although impeded slightly by the sensations Buck's mouth was eliciting from him, managed to get Buck's shirt off. He smiled as he realised the other man wasn't wearing long underwear, and he could feel the smooth warm flesh of his lover's back.

"You feel good," Vin said when Buck moaned at his fingers' exploration, smiling as he moved his hands to Buck's chest, tangling for a moment in the light dusting of hair.

'Not so different,' Vin noted to himself as he began sucking on Buck's neck, then moved lower, nibbling Buck's collarbone, moving to take a nipple into his mouth, raising it to a hard little point with his tongue.

"Vin," Buck gasped, moving away from the sweet torture of his lover's mouth, "Have you ever..." he trailed off, blushing.

"What?" Vin asked, not letting Buck off the hook.

"Have you ever had another man inside you?"

"No," Vin replied, truthfully, "I've only kissed another man, and brought him off in my hand."

"That's okay, we can still do this...unless you want to take me?"

"Not this time. I don't know enough yet. I want you to teach me."

"We'll have to take it a little slow, but that's part of the fun," Buck started kissing Vin again, quickly removing Vin's clothes and the rest of his own.

Vin gulped a little when he saw Buck naked for the first time. He was big, even without the layers he usually wore, and his erection was in proportion to the rest of him.

"It's okay," Buck soothed. "You'll be able to take me after I prepare you. I'll never hurt you, Vin."

Buck looked around the room and his gaze settled on the unlit lamp in the far corner. Vin watched in puzzlement as Buck strode unselfconsciously across the room to get it. He left the chimney of the lamp, just bringing the base with him. Vin had to ask.

"Buck, what in tarnation do you need a lamp for?"

"Not the lamp, the oil. It's the best thing for making the...path easier."

Vin still looked skeptical.

"Vin...to be inside you, it's better if I have something that makes you slippery, that makes it easier for us both. There's a lot of things you can use. Bear grease works, lard, any kind of grease, really. But oil works best, I've found."

Vin didn't argue, mostly because Buck was kissing him again, and he found that to be a much more pleasurable use for his mouth. Buck teased his nipples to erection, then started licking them in long sweeping strokes. Vin was moaning in pleasure, wondering how it could feel better than this, when he felt a slick hand encircle his straining need.

"Yessss...." he hissed, thrusting into that slick grasp. As Buck stroked him, his other hand clasped one of Vin's buttocks, sending more impulses along his nerve endings. Then a slick finger began gradually moving into his cleft. Vin tensed for a moment, then felt the gentle stroking, and he couldn't help moving into the gentle touch. He tensed again when he felt the finger stroke the puckered skin, then move slowly inside him. Buck moved very slowly, only going deeper when Vin moved back. Buck added another slick finger, moving inside Vin, scissoring, stretching him, searching for something. Vin arched back further into the probing fingers as they found a tiny lump, almost imperceptible, inside him, and he realised that he was harder than ever.

"Please..." he whimpered.

"What?" Buck truly wasn't sure, and he didn't want to hurt Vin.

"I need...more."

Buck added another finger, the more stretching the better, he felt, and moved Vin toward the bed.

Vin looked at him in confusion.

"How do we...?"

"You just get on all fours and leave the rest to me."

"Okay..."

Buck probed the twitching opening once more, making sure Vin was open enough for him. the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt the man in his bed. Vin pushed back against him too impatiently for him to take the signal as anything other than encouragement.

Buck slicked some oil over his hardness, and placed the tip of his erection at Vin's prepared opening. He moved in, slowly, feeling the hot tightness close around him. It took a while, and he was burning when he finished, but he was buried in Vin's receptive body.

"Yes..." Vin whispered.

"Ready?" Buck asked, not sure if he was.

"Please, Buck, move. It...burns a little."

That was all the encouragement Buck needed, it would feel better for both of them if he moved. He began a gentle thrusting in and out of Vin, feeling the younger man's movements below him as they found a rhythm. Vin had been about to find voice to plead for Buck to touch him, when he felt a large slick hand grasp his erection. Moving his hand in time with his thrusts into Vin's body, Buck began making love to Vin.

It didn't take long, even with the liquor they had drunk earlier. Soon Vin was screaming, and the wet heat of his orgasm pulsed onto Buck's moving hand. The contractions of Vin's muscles around Buck's hardness inside him triggered Buck's climax, and they both screamed with release.

After a moment, the room grew quiet again. Then Vin started laughing softly.

"What?" Buck asked, gently pulling out of his lover. He noted with relief that there was no blood.

"Just wonderin' if anyone had heard. And if they did, what they thought it was. I'd hate for Chris to rush in, gun drawn to find us like this," and Vin collapsed into helpless laughter.

Buck couldn't help a grin himself, hoping that the others were asleep.

"I'll think of something," he reassured Vin.

"Ah well, nothing to worry about," Vin smiled.

"God you're beautiful," Buck said, unable to stop it.

Vin was taken aback at first, then a sweet, shy smile, different from any Buck had ever seen him show, spread across his face.

"Thank you, Buck. No one's ever...thank you."

"It's only the truth," Buck replied, getting up to find something to clean them with. He brought a towel back to the bed, and cleaned Vin, then himself.

"What now?" Vin asked.

"What do you mean?"

"When do you want me to leave?"

Buck managed to stop himself from saying "Never," it was too soon for that.

"You can stay tonight, if you want. We can say that one of us slept on the couch."

Vin's blue gaze travelled along Buck's big, muscular body.

"We'd better say it was me, no one would believe us if we said it was you."

The soft laughter of the two men continued as Buck drew Vin into his arms, pulling the covers over them, and only stopped when they drifted to sleep.

The End