"We can't do this no more,"
Nathan whispered against the familiar fingertips that caressed his lips.
"Why?"
He wasn't certain what reaction he had expected. Anger. . . denial. .
. something that lay more along the lines of the passionate fire he knew
burned in his beloved's soul. The quiet question caught him off-guard.
Why?
Nathan had dozens of answers, each one logical and strong enough to withstand
the argument he'd expected. But in the face of that hurt tone, not a one
of them was important.
Nothing mattered beyond the here and now of interlocked ebony and ivory;
soft lips flickering somberly across the angry marks on his back--embracing
his history, than banishing it from their bed; and the lazy, teasing caress
along his spent shaft, still slick with the reminder of their coupling.
"Why?" he echoed softly. "Because it's dangerous. People
would never accept this, and I don't want to see you hurt by their stupidity.
Because I'm tired of creeping back to my clinic every morning before dawn
with the taste of you on my lips, knowing the next time I wake it will
be alone. Because I don't like hiding this from the others. Secrets can
be deadly, and I'd never forgive myself if you were hurt because of me."
He took a ragged breath as a skilled hand began stroking him, building
his passion and dampening his argument. "I can't keep acting as though
we're friends and nothing more," he continued valiantly against the
tactile assault "Every time I see you on the street, going about
a life that I can't be part of, not the way I should be--it hurts me."
"It hurts to see sunlight dancing freely across skin that _I_ can't
touch. Not until dark. You're beautiful by candlelight, but you've never
seen the way the sun plays off your face, until sometimes I swear it's
you giving the sun its light not the other way 'round. I have. And it's
killing me."
Warm breath tickled his neck as the voice he knew better than his own
vibrated through the warm body pressed against his back. "There are
things worth fighting for, worth dying for. If there aren't, what are
we still doing in this town? Are you really so willing to risk your life
for a town that barely tolerates you, but not for me? For us?" The
firm insistence was punctuated by a long moist kiss against Nathan's pulse
point that gave way to a trail of kisses that marched down his throat
with agonizing slowness.
Nathan moaned, and rolled onto his back. He pulled the other half of
his soul into a full contact embrace, plundering the soft mouth with a
soul-seering kiss. Breathing became a challenge as his already pulsing
erection came in contact with an answering velvet heat.
He whimpered as the warm touch pulled away, rising with his lover in
an effort to maintain the contact he desperately needed. A low chuckle
answered his unconscious movement. Nathan allowed himself to be pressed
back against the bed, gasping slightly as he was drawn slowly into his
lover's willing body.
"I don't want to hurt you," he said, shuddering with the effort
of controlling both body and emotion.
"You would never hurt me," came the confident reply. Hips shrugged,
slowly drawing Nathan completely in. "If people want to talk, let
them."
"It ain't the talkin' I'm worried about," he mumbled, the words
lost in a groan as he was lead into a slow, seductive rhythm. An unexpected,
deep thrust left him gasping for breath.
Warm hands played across his chest, using them as leverage to control
Nathan's thrusts. "What are you worried about?" The question
was slightly breathless, but demanded honesty from him.
"Losing you. Losing this," he ground out. Then the moment for
words was beyond them. Two souls searching the darkness had found each
other. Nathan lost track of reality and the ache that first dawn always
brought him. For now there was only perfection and joy. The connection
to something real.
Nathan groaned, his release shuddering through him. Wringing the fear
and doubt from him. He could feel answering tremors wrack the body above
him. Slowly they subsided, and the pure bliss slipped away. Replaced by
the weight of the world that lurked just beyond shuttered windows.
Nathan withdrew and felt empty for the loss. For a long moment they lay
there, as if by not moving, they could keep time itself from moving. Sweet
lips met Nathan's in a long kiss. Not the passionate duel of earlier,
but the comforting familiarity of a soul-mate.
The kiss ended, drifting into a drowsy embrace. From the world outside,
birdsong and the first ringing blows from the smithy announced the hated
morning.
"I have to go," he whispered hoarsely into the sweetly scented
hair.
Downcast eyes wouldn't meet his. Nathan gently tipped that treasured
face up, searching soulful eyes for a moment before wiping away a stray
tear.
"I ain't never been ashamed of the color of my skin. And I ain't
never apologized for it neither. But what I wouldn't give to greet the
world openly with you by my side." he broke off, unable to finish
the thought.
And then he was gone. Leaving only his whispered farewell in his wake.
"The day can't last forever, Mary."
The End
