I want him. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. All right I am supposed to be a lady. All right I am barely 19 but I know what I like. I am just a young woman who lives near Four Corners. My mother moved here to a farm to get away from her past. Her past was very bad or so she tells me. She tries to keep me on the straight and narrow but she makes me go to church and behave as a proper lady. So I guess these fantasies I have been having would not be her idea of proper.
His name is J.D. Dunne. Doesn't he have a beautiful name? So it's true, I am feeling something
- lust could it be? I barely know him. He's just an acquaintance. We've met. He tipped his hat, flirted with me, and I said hello to him, but I wasn't bold. I swear.
I will tell you one of my fantasies if you promise not to tell my mother. Besides I think it would kill her.
I am walking down by the river. He is there and waiting for me. He turns and smiles at me. I feel like my insides have melted. He walks over to, grabs me and then kisses me passionately. There's a blanket on the ground all set up for the picnic. So it's impossible, but it's my fantasy.
"Come on," he says pulling me towards the blanket. We sit down, staring at each other. His bowler hat sits on the blanket. His vest is thrown over a tree stump. There's a soft breeze; it ruffles his thick black hair.
I reach forward boldly to brush his hair out of his eyes. He takes hold of my hand and kisses the palm. I smile shyly. He turns it over kissing my fingertips and then my fingers. I continue to stare at him, my heart pounding in my chest. He stops and smiles. "Sorry, I don't know what got into m,"
he says. His smile turns sheepish.
I lean forward and take some of the ham that is in the picnic basket. He just sits they're for a second watching me, leans forward and kisses me. Softly at first and then he deepens the kiss making it more passionate. His arms go around my waist pulling me against him. I can feel
his muscles through his shirt.
He pulls my hair out of its pins freeing it and running his hands through it. We both fall backwards on the blanket, both of us breathless. "I don't want to…"
"I don't mind." I say boldly. At this point I wonder what has gotten into me. Also by now you should really know what's about to happen. His hands are going everywhere, caressing my breasts, running up my legs to the place where I am beginning to ache. This place seems to hold the greatest need. I am not the only one who begins to slip off her clothes.
J.D.'s shirt somehow manages to become unbuttoned. I did it. It's my fantasy, I can do as I wish. I run my hands over his chest, across his belly, and down, down. I touch places I dare not even think of at other times. He moves away slightly from my roving hands.
"If you keep doing that, I won't be able to…." J.D. leaves off his eyes, mouth pure mischief. He does not say anything else but I know what he means. I stare into his brown eyes. He traces my jaw with his lips, then my throat and then my breasts. I arch my back reeling from the feeling that has overcome me. My fingers become entangled in his hair. It is unbelievably thick, soft, wonderful.
I realize that he is doing what I did earlier only he is doing it with his lips. He has removed all my clothing and I have removed all of his. He's beautiful, I knew he would be. I am ready for
him in every way.
He enters quickly becoming one with me. I can't explain because it is, well, unexplainable. I think it would be something that you can't quite describe. Something intangible. My eyes close and I do nothing more than feel and live in the moment. The thrusts start slow, excruciatingly slow, then faster, faster, faster. I wrap my legs around him taking him in deeper. Then fireworks bright, colorful. Filling the sky. We lie in each other arms falling asleep. The sun shining it's bright light down on us.
It's just a fantasy I have. Nothing more, nothing less.
How do I know all this stuff? Please do not ask. You probable think it's sinful, shocking. It will probable never happen with J.D.
But I still keep having them.
My mother would probably lock me away. I am supposed to be a quiet country girl. That's why we moved to Four Corners. I don't know what I will do. I hope to fall in love someday and maybe some of these fantasies I have been having will come true.
The End
