Innocence?

ONE

Just a kid.

Wouldn't know what to do with a woman if she stripped naked in front of him and begged him to take her.

"Would be taken in by the first pretty face that came along.

Naive.

JD Dunne had heard them all before. He found it funny that he was considered this way.

"If they only knew," he reflected, remembering a time, not so long ago. It was an anniversary today, he'd realised that morning. Five years since he'd met Alexander, to the day. The day his life had started on the path that had led him to Four Corners.

"And here comes the one who would be most shocked of all. Except maybe Josiah," JD stood up behind his desk. It always made him feel on a slightly more equal footing with the man who was walking into the Sheriff's office. The office JD himself had assumed when no one else seemed to want it. Most people thought it was, at best, a lark for the young innocent, but JD took it seriously.

"Kid, somethin' wonderful's gonna happen, I just know it," Buck Wilmington said as he entered his friend's office. As always, the big man had to push down the flame of desire that rose when he saw the younger man. Buck had accepted long ago that his desires were for the person and not their gender, and the relationship he had with the younger man had led him to some mind-blowing solo orgasms, but he knew that there was no way that he could ever play out those fantasies in reality. JD wasn't like any of the men he'd known, men who knew what they were getting into in the brief encounters he'd enjoyed with them, or even Chris, who'd only been looking for someone to make him feel anything for the brief time that their friendship had blazed into white-hot passion soon after the death of his wife and son. They had thought, briefly, that it might have turned into more, but the heat had been too bright to shine for long and Chris hadn't been ready to deal with the realities of a long-term involvement with another man, or anyone at all then.

"Buck?" JD asked, wondering what his friend was thinking. JD sighed mentally as he took in the sight of his closest friend here in Four Corners, and wondered if he could ever get past the bantering and teasing to really talk to Buck.

"Yeah, Kid?" Buck couldn't even remember what he'd said earlier.

"What do you think's gonna happen?"

"Huh?"

"You said," JD explained patiently, "That you could 'just feel' something wonderful was going to happen."

"I did? Well, that must mean it's true," Buck managed to save face and get his mind off how JD would look, tied to a bed and moaning with passion.

"I said it before, and I'll say it again, Buck. You're full of crap."

"I never denied it, Kid."

'Kid, indeed!' JD seethed inwardly. If Buck weren't so damned beautiful, he would have decked him a long time ago. Or at least tried. Probably succeeded. Well...maybe, considering how big Buck was. Still...Alexander had taught him a lot, and not only how to make a bigger opponent fall down. JD still missed him, he probably always would, but when he'd found out the truth...

'Why didn't you tell me before I fell in love with him, mother?' JD thought, 'We might have gotten past the fact that we were both male, even if we had had to go somewhere far from home, but we couldn't get past the fact that we were related, no matter how distantly. Damn the money, anyway. I'll never see it, all it ever did was rob me of what I wanted most.'

"What are you thinkin' about so intently, Kid?" Buck asked, having become impatient with the silence.

"My family," JD said, softly, almost not realising what he was saying.

"Your mother?"

"Her, and the rest of them."

"I thought you said you never knew your father," Buck was puzzled.

"I didn't. Not when he was alive. He died before I could know him."

"I thought..."

"You thought my mother didn't know who he was? No, she knew all too well. It's a pity that she never saw fit to tell me who he was until it was too late."

"Kid?"

"I'm sorry," JD realised that Buck might not feel comfortable with his talking about this. Pity, he'd really like to share this with Buck.

"What for?"

"Well," JD grinned wryly, "I know you're not exactly likely to be comfortable with opening up on this stuff."

"Why not? Because of who my mother was?"

"No, I just...didn't think you'd be interested. Not like talking about horses or how straight you can shoot. Hell, Buck, the last time we talked seriously was back in the Indian village. And more recently, you were too busy with that woman and her daughter to bother about me."

"Kid, I was not too busy. The only time you tried to talk to me, I was so damn concerned about you gettin' cut up, remember, I know how much it hurts, after what the colonel did to me, and I know that you couldn't have been feelin' strong enough to be out of bed then, even though you weren't hurt as bad as I was. So I told you I was busy, just to get you to go back to bed."

"Well, you could've told me, you know."

"Yeah, well, you're half right. I seem to act like an idiot when I care about what happens to someone. You got anything stronger than water 'round here, Kid?"

"Would you mind not calling me Kid?" JD asked, thinking that if he were going to drink with his friend, he would at least be called something other than Buck's nickname for him.

"What do you want me to call you?" Buck asked.

"How about JD?"

"That's not your right name. Tell me what JD stands for."

"I..don't use that name any more."

"Why not?"

"Long story. Really long story. And to answer your earlier question, yeah, I've got a bottle of whiskey in one of the filing cabinets. Don't tell Mrs. Travis, though."

"Well, if we drink it, no one's ever gonna know, are they?"

JD sighed. He wasn't sure Buck would understand everything about him and Alexander, but he needed to tell someone, and who better than Buck?

The men drank in silence for a while. They knew that if necessary, Chris or the others would handle any trouble, so they had no compunction about drinking now. The day was nearly over anyway.

"So why don't you use your real name, Kid?" Buck finally broke the silence.

"Well, Buck, I gotta warn you, this'll probably shock you."

"Yeah?" Buck was plainly skeptical.

JD began talking, not really aware of anything but himself and Buck.

"You know I grew up in a mansion in New York. My mother was a chambermaid, which I've already told you. And I never knew my father, because he died before I was born."

"I'm sorry, Kid. That must have been hard."

"Yeah, it was. I was used to it, though, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do. Is Dunne your father's name?"

"No. I don't have the right to use that name. It was my mother's. Buck...I need to say this without interruption, if that's okay?"

"Sure, Kid."

"My name is James Duncan Dunne. I used to go by Duncan, though, I liked it better. When I worked in the stable at the house, everyone called me Duncan. No one ever called me James, and I'd only ever let my mother call me Jamie. I didn't like it, you see, except from her. I started working in the stable when I was fourteen. Yeah, I went to a fancy school, but I'd wake up at first light to do the horses before I went. That was the year that...everything changed. I was mucking out the horses one afternoon. There was a lot of excitement, because Mr. Robertson, that's the man who owned the house, was expecting his son, his pregnant daughter-in-law and his nephew and nieces for a visit. I had to get the stables looking their best, because it was expected. I was a bit disappointed, because I'd actually been given a book to read in class that I liked, and I wanted to do schoolwork. So I was unloading my problems to the horses, or so I thought. Then I heard a voice that wasn't mine. It was a boy a little older than I was, he was sixteen then. He introduced himself as Alexander Robertson, and I introduced myself as Duncan. He said that he was glad to find someone close to his age to talk to. There were no other boys there, his father didn't really have time for him with his mother being confined, and his sisters were, he told me, addlepated idiots. We ended up spending that fall together, riding, talking, reading. He ended up going to my school, you see, and we formed a real friendship. As soon as his mother could travel again, the family went off to a warmer climate. I didn't see him again for nearly three years."

JD took another drink.

"The family came back the year he was nineteen and I was seventeen. I'd had a few dates with girls since he'd left, and I wanted to talk to him about girls. He was older, and he'd lived in so many other countries...I thought we'd go out on dates together, and maybe I'd even finally get a girl to do more than kiss me. I'll never forget the time I first saw him again. It was in front of the house, and he was backlit by the sun. He seemed to be made of gossamer and gold as I looked at him. I'd never seen a more beautiful sight. He'd grown up, filled out a bit. His shoulders were broad under his coat, and he'd let his dark hair grow long. I was pleased to find that our friendship hadn't changed since we last met. I'd thought it might have, what with his meeting so many people, but it didn't. It seemed to grow deeper, and I spent all my time with him. It was the same as before, but different. I didn't realise why at first, but eventually I realised. When Alexander had visited before, he'd been girl-crazy, much like I was at the time, but now...now he seemed to have no interest in girls at all. I eventually asked him if he was in love, figuring that that could be the only reason he didn't want to go after some of the lovely girls around. He said that he didn't know, which I thought was kinda weird, and then he started talking about somewhere he'd been. He began by talking about the place, the kind of things it was known for, but he eventually started every sentence with Kelarni did this or Kelarni did that. I eventually asked him who Kelarni was. He said that Kelarni was a man who his father had hired as his companion, someone to be company for him. Then Alexander told me something that shocked me. He told me that Kelarni had talked to him about girls, but he'd never gone after any. He thought that was odd, but he was supposed to keep an eye on Alexander, so maybe he was just taking that duty seriously. There was some kind of party one night, and Alexander was dancing and talking with the local girls. After a while, he noticed that Kelarni was missing. Alexander looked outside for him, and he found him. He was arguing with a man Alexander had never seen before. The argument was...sexual in nature. The other man called Kelarni something like a cocksucker, which was apparently as much an insult in their language as it is in ours, because Kelarni decked him. He turned around and saw Alexander standing there in shock. Kelarni looked at him and asked if he'd understood what the other guy had said. Alexander said, truthfully, no, he didn't. Kelarni then told him of men who are considered to be different from other men. Men who find...other men attractive sexually. Alexander wasn't that much of an innocent, he'd certainly heard of such things, but he could feel...something in the way Kelarni was explaining this to him. Kelarni eventually told Alexander that he'd never intended this to happen, but that he cared for Alexander. He'd often taken similar jobs, as a companion to the young men who visited his country, but Alexander was the first one he'd cared for. Alexander was shocked, but then Kelarni kissed him. Alexander had never felt anything like it before. To make it brief, they became lovers. They both knew it could only last until Alexander left, and Alexander told me that he didn't really love Kelarni. He thought that he could put it behind him as an interesting experience. I asked Alexander what the problem was. Kelarni was back in his country. Alexander said that the problem was that he was having feelings for a boy here. I asked him if the boy returned his feelings. He said did he, while looking straight at me. I realised what he meant, and thought about it. He was beautiful, as I said before. I hadn't thought of him in that way, but...I said yes, I found him beautiful."

Buck had gone pure white from shock. This had not been what he was expecting to hear.

"Then he kissed me. It wasn't the first time, but it felt like it. His mouth was so hot and wet...I wanted more, but didn't know what men do. He took me into the stables. We found an empty stall, then he threw his coat down and taught me about how a man makes love to another man. He didn't...go inside me...then, that happened later. It felt...it was amazing. He was so gentle and beautiful. It didn't feel wrong at all, although of course the church thinks that it's a sin. We were together for six wonderful months, and we started talking about going away together. We knew that we didn't want anyone else, ever. I knew that no one would ever make me feel the way he did, I loved him. I told him that I wanted to tell my mother about us, I knew that she wouldn't judge me for wanting a man. I knew that her love for me could get past it. So, I told her, and, to my surprise, she started crying. I asked her, when she calmed down, if it was because Alexander was a man. She said no, that wasn't the reason. Then...she told me. She told me something that changed my life forever. She told me who my father was. She told me that my father was Michael Robertson, the son of John Robertson. Alexander's grandfather. Alexander was my cousin. That was okay, I thought, we could pretend to be living together because we were cousins. It solved all of our difficulties. But it didn't. It made them insurmountable. My mother told me that ...she and my father had been married before he died. I'd always assumed that they weren't, that that was the reason that she had never told me his name. My grandfather hadn't approved of her and his son, but he had reluctantly accepted my legitimacy. She then told me that there was a codicil in my grandfather's will. The first of his two elder grandsons, Alexander or me, to have a child, was to become his heir. I knew...I knew how much Alexander wanted the money. He had so many plans for it, he wanted to build so much...we'd talked about it a lot. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't stay with him. Then Mother found out that she was ill. It was a respite from the making of the decision, I took her to Arizona, to a sanitarium, but that only prolonged her life for a few months. Before she died, she gave me some money for college. She said that I could make my decision after that, but I already knew what it would be. I knew that the money wasn't enough for college, and I knew that I could never stay with Alexander. So I told him that I was going West. I didn't break it gently, although I wanted to. I told him that I couldn't be tied down, that I wanted to know all the saloon girls and...ladies of easy virtue, I told him anything I could. He looked so lost...so beautiful...but I knew that I was doing what was best for him. And I came West, ended up in that battle over Nathan, and here I am."

Buck let out a breath, slowly. His face began to look slightly less pale.

"I had no idea. I thought..."

"You thought I was a naive innocent. Does the fact that I was with a man shock you? I've never been with a woman, though."

"No, it doesn't. You'd be surprised to know some of the things I've done."

"Like what?"

Feeling that reciprocation was in order, Buck quietly told JD of the brief time he'd spent with Chris.

"It was never going to be forever, and we eventually went our separate ways," Buck finished.

"You'd never know it to look at you two now," JD mused.

"Yeah, well, appearances can sure as hell be deceiving," Buck replied..

JD couldn't help laughing at that.

"So," Buck asked, carefully, "Do you still care for him?"

JD considered, "Yes. I always will. He was my first love. But... he's in New York and I'm here. We can never be together. I will find someone else to be to me what he should have been. Someone to love me."

"Do you think it will be a man or a woman?"

"I don't care about that. I want it to be someone who can love me. That's all that I ask."

"You are very young, JD."

"Buck, there are men who are married with a couple of children by the time they're my age. Why does everyone treat me like a kid?"

Buck considered this, he'd never really thought about it.

"I guess it's because compared to the rest of us, except maybe Vin, you are a kid, JD. You know, you never did tell me why you use that name."

"I...couldn't bear hearing anyone else call me Duncan, not after Alexander. I have never felt like James, either. So, I decided to use my initials."

"You could still have used James, though."

"Then someone might have called me Jamie, and I don't think I could bear that, either. Not from just anyone."

Buck grinned, suddenly, and JD felt his breath catch, as it always did, "It's a lot easier havin' a simple name like Buck. No one can make much of it, 'cept the ladies that sometimes call me Bucky, which, between you and me, I hate. But as they usually are doin' other things, I don't mind so much."

'I'm sure you don't,' JD thought to himself. Aloud, he said, "I don'tknow about you, Buck, but all this talkin' has made me hungry. Want to get some dinner at the hotel?"

"Sure. I'll even buy for you, JD."

"You're gonna laugh at this, but I think I like you callin' me Kid."

"Why would I laugh at that?" Buck asked, the twinkle in his eye belying the sober words.

"Can't think why," JD smiled as he locked the door.

TWO

Dinner was a quiet occasion, the others did not join them, and the confidences of the afternoon created a comfortable silence, one that did not need to be filled with the usual banter and teasing.

"Want a drink?" Buck asked as they finished eating.

"I think I'd rather get a bottle and take it to my room. No one can wonder why I'm not talking then," JD indicated the crowd who had made some pointed remarks at their silence.

"Sounds a good idea. Think I'll do the same."

JD longed to ask Buck to join him, but he didn't think that he could keep from revealing his true feelings, feelings that had finally broken free during their long conversation earlier. He stood before he could think more along those lines, and made his way to the bar, Buck following closely.

As they made their purchases, and turned to climb the stairs, Buck whispered into his ear, causing an all-body shiver, "Come to my room. Please. I don't want to drink alone right now."

JD couldn't do anything but follow Buck, no matter how complicated the situation was likely to become.

They sat and drank for a while in silence, until Buck finally broke it.

"Ya know, Kid, it's a lot more difficult to tease you about bein' a kid after today. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"This might shock you, even after what we talked about earlier, but I've gotta know."

"Know what, Buck?"

"James, can I call you that?"

JD nodded, he liked it when Buck said it.

"James," Buck started again, "I know this is probably the last thing that you ever expected, but I've got to ask it. Would you ever consider the possibility of being with me?"

"Buck, are you asking me if I want to sleep with you?"

"No, that's not what I'm asking. Well, it is, but only partly. James, I've been attracted to you for a long time. I don't want to tell you how many fantasies I've had about you and me, but I always thought that they would have to stay that way. But I realised, after a while, that it wasn't only sex that I wanted from you. James, I know it's not going to be easy, probably just the opposite, but I want you in my life, in my bed. If anyone doesn't like that, they'll have to deal with me."

"Buck, I've probably been havin' the same thoughts and fantasies you have. I've wanted you since...probably since the first time you laughed at me when I fell in the water trough. Yes, I want to be with you, too."

"What about Alexander?"

"I told you the truth today. I do love him, and always will, but I don't feel passion for him any more. Buck, would you please make love to me?"

"I always said that I'd never refuse anyone who asked me that question," Buck breathed, his eyes growing darker.

"Well, you'd better refuse anyone else who asks you," JD grinned.

"If you make it worth my while, I will," Buck teased.

"Oh yes?"

Buck didn't answer in words, instead he covered JD's lips with his in their first kiss. JD decided that speaking any more was a waste of time when they could be doing this.

They removed their clothes quickly, and JD gasped as he finally saw Buck naked. "So beautiful," he whispered, reaching out a tentative hand to stroke Buck's cheek. Buck moved his lips into the caress and whispered a kiss across JD's palm, blowing gently.

JD giggled, and Buck looked at him enquiringly.

"Your mustache. It tickled. I like it."

"The tickling or the mustache?"

"Um...both?"

Buck captured JD's fingers and sucked gently on each one, ending with another kiss to his palm. This time JD just moaned with pleasure.

"You are so beautiful," Buck murmured, kissing JD's neck gently.

JD moved back to look at Buck.

"So are you," then he moved his fingers to gently play on the throbbing pulse in Buck's neck, following the caress with his lips. His fingers moved to explore Buck's chest, tangling in the light dusting of chest hair, searching for the nubs of the older man's nipples. JD's fingers caressed the nubs of flesh, causing moans and whimpers from his lover. JD moved to kiss Buck again, not able to get enough of that lush mouth. Buck's hands repeated the caresses JD was lavishing on his chest and JD moaned as Buck moved his mouth to replace his fingers, tonguing his nipples to aching points. Buck chuckled, the vibrations moving delightfully through JD's body, and continued his explorations, his mouth following the sweep of JD's ribs.

"I think we should move to the bed," Buck suggested as JD began to sway on his feet.

"Uh...Buck...we need something..."

"You mean for..."

"If you want to. Buck, I want you inside me. If we can."

"Oh, there are lots of alternatives. Guess I'll have to get in a supply of some kind of oil or grease...but what can we use now?"

"How about oil from a lamp? That one's not lit, so it wouldn't be hot or anything."

"How'd you ever think of that?"

"Um...Alexander and I needed something once."

"What did you usually use?"

"Well, a couple times we brought one of us off first, and used the come, that was when we didn't have a chance to keep anything with us, once we used saddle oil, and that worked surprisingly well, there was the lamp oil a few times, lard once...I guess anything that was around, we used. How about you?"

"I guess with men...it's been whatever's around," Buck replied as he walked over to retrieve the lamp base. He turned to walk back to the bed, and saw JD lying on it. He stopped for a moment, appreciating the sight. JD lay like a banquet for him to sample, all sculpted muscle and tight curves. He moved, deliberately, and Buck could see his firm buttocks. The jolt of desire that shot through him left him gasping with its intensity. JD chuckled at his obvious effect on the older man.

"Damn..." Buck whispered.

"What?" JD asked, teasing.

"My imagination didn't do you justice," Buck finally managed to say.

"Neither did mine," JD replied, watching the play of Buck's muscles under his skin as he walked back to the bed.

Buck settled on the bed beside JD, dipping his fingers in the oil. JD tensed for a moment as slick fingers moved into his cleft, but he relaxed under Buck's gentle touch. A finger brushed the puckered skin gently, easing inside. JD moved back, impaling himself on the finger, whimpering as Buck found a spot that caused him to moan deeply. A second, then a third finger were added, stretching JD carefully. More oil poured into JD's body, making him ready. Buck slicked oil onto his weeping erection, gasping as his fingers threatened to send the heat building inside him to greater heights.

JD moved to his hands and knees, revealing his glistening opening to his lover. Buck pressed his erection gently between the clenching cheeks, feeling the warmth of the other man. JD pushed back against Buck, who found himself buried inside that tight heat.

"Damn, you feel so good," Buck said softly as they were finally joined completely.

"So do you. Like hot satin over steel," JD murmured, only half-coherent. He moved back impatiently on Buck, who began thrusting instinctively. Buck moved a hand over JD's hip, caressing gently, in a counterpoint to his thrusts, then reached under, finding JD's aching need. JD moved instinctively into the hand that grasped him, moans of pleasure erupting from deep in his chest. They thrust together, feeling nothing but exquisite heat, until Buck could feel the end approaching. He sped up the movement of his hand on JD, who was closer than he was and came first with a shout. The contractions of his muscles on Buck's straining hardness triggered Buck's much-needed release and he emptied himself inside JD's willing body.

Buck gently pulled out of JD, and grabbed a towel to clean them up. JD showed no signs of wanting to leave just yet, so they settled down to hold each other for just a moment.

Unfortunately, they both fell asleep. JD woke several hours later, wrapped in Buck's strong arms. He tried to get out of bed without waking Buck, but he couldn't. Buck stirred and tried to wrap his arms tighter around JD.

"Not tonight," JD whispered into Buck's ear, awakening him fully.

"James?"

"I would hope so," JD chuckled.

"Damn, I swore it was a dream."

"The waking kind," JD grinned, "I have to get back to my room."

"Yeah, of course. Goodnight," Buck whispered, drawing JD's face to his for a kiss.

"Goodnight," JD replied, but Buck was already asleep again.

JD slipped back into his clothes as quickly as possible, making his way quietly to the door.

He made his way into the hallway and almost screamed when he heard a door open. Then he realised that it was Vin standing in the doorway.

"Vin?" JD whispered.

"JD what the hell are you doin' up at this hour?"

"I'll explain another time. I'm goin' to sleep now. What about you?"

"I was just gonna have a drink. If you're not too tired, want to join me?"

"Sure, just one won't hurt. I'm not that tired."

They made their way downstairs to the deserted bar.

"What were you doin' anyway?" Vin asked as he swallowed a shot of whiskey.

JD blushed, and Vin thought he knew.

"So, you finally took one of the saloon girls up on her offer? Good for you, JD. Hope she treated you well."

"Very well," JD murmured, remembering soft kisses and touches that had turned his insides to liquid.

"I didn't think that any of them were in that part of the hotel, though...wasn't that Buck's room you came out of?"

JD's blush threatened to set his skin on fire as he managed a nod.

"Why would you be in Buck's room after being with a girl?"

"I...wasn't with a girl."

"Who were you with?"

"Buck."

"WHAT?"

"Vin, don't shout or you'll have the whole damn hotel down here with us. I know it's a shock, but please..."

"I'm sorry. It's just...Buck's always with the ladies."

"Well, apparently that's not always the case."

"And I thought Chris was just a one-time thing..."

"How'd you know about Buck and Chris?"

It was Vin's turn to blush.

"Vin?"

"Let's just say that I'm not shocked about you and Buck because I think it's wrong and leave it at that for now, okay? I think you need to talk more than I do right now."

"Okay, but don't think I'll let you off the hook, Vin."

"Wouldn't dream of it, JD."

"Well, you see, I'm not all that inexperienced when it comes to men..." and JD began telling Vin most of the story he'd told Buck earlier, leaving out some of the details of his and Buck's evening.

"You know, it seems kind of right, now that you tell me about it. You and Buck, I mean. I hope things work out for you," Vin raised his glass in a toast to JD.

"Me too. And for you and...whoever you manage to find," JD winked at Vin.

"I think we better get some sleep," Vin replied, blushing again.

"Yeah, the stage comes in early tomorrow. Goodnight," JD said, getting up.

"Goodnight," Vin replied, pouring a last shot.

Buck met the stage the next morning after a very odd breakfast. JD had been very discreet, but he'd caught a look or two from Vin's direction that he wasn't quite sure how to interpret.

There were five passengers. Buck smiled at Billy Travis and his mother, Mary who were returning from a trip. He made a teasing remark to Mary about Ezra being glad to see her and she blushed and smiled in reply. There was an older man, who turned out to be a relative of someone in town, and finally a young couple, a pretty blonde woman and a young man with long, dark hair. Buck's memory teased at him, wondering why the man looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't remember why, and he turned to help the coachman with the shipments for the stores.

Then he heard the young woman introduce herself to Mary Travis.

"We're just here to see a relative of my husband. We heard that he was the sheriff here, Mr. JD Dunne? My husband is his cousin."

Buck moved to introduce himself to the couple.

"Ma'am, sir? I'm Buck Wilmington. I work with Sheriff Dunne, and if you would like, I can take you to him."

"Thank you, Mr. Wilmington. I am Alexander Robertson, and this is my wife, Melinda."

Buck schooled his face to remain neutral. The man was married, and he was sure that JD would not take what they had done the previous night lightly. Still, it hurt to see someone JD had been so close to, here so soon after they had discovered each other.

At least he could be there for JD when he saw Alexander again.

He escorted the couple to the sheriff's office, knowing that JD would be there by now. He had wanted to prepare his lover, but Alexander strode ahead of him, leaving Buck to escort the lovely Mrs. Robertson. He treated her to his usual charming conversation, half of his mind on what JD would be feeling when he saw Alexander.

JD looked up from his paperwork as he heard someone approaching. The light from outside spilled in and he remembered the first time he had seen Alexander again, briefly. Then he swore that he was going mad as he saw Alexander there in the light. He thought for a moment that it was a vision, or a memory until Alexander spoke.

"Hello, Duncan."

"What are you doing here?" was all that JD could think of to say.

"I'm here for three reasons. And I don't have much time, so I have to ask you to hear me out, please, Duncan."

"Call me JD."

"All right, JD. First: I know why you came out West. Not the reason that you gave me, but the real reason. Grandfather's lawyers told me. After I got over the shock, I realised why you left. JD...thank you. I'm not sure I could have done what you did."

"Oh, yes you could. I know it. I'm glad you didn't have to make the decision, though."

"As am I. The second is, I got married. You remember Melinda Sutton?"

"Yes, I do. I wanted to double date with her and Nicole Anderson, remember? Before..."

"That's right, I remember. Life is a strange circle, isn't it?"

"And the third reason?" JD asked.

"I needed to see you again, to know that I am truly over you. And now that I know that I am. I want to ask you to come back to New York, if not permanently, please at least consider visiting me occasionally. I want us to get to know each other as family. Unless you are not completely over me, of course?"

"Alexander, one thing I can say for certain is that I am over you. I'm also very glad that you have found someone to share your life with. I...hope I have done the same, but I'm not sure yet. And I thank you for coming to tell me that you understand what happened between us."

"So will you be part of my family, please? I want you to be, very much."

"If I agree, will the person I care for be accepted as well?"

"JD, after the heartache Grandfather's attitude about your parents caused two generations of our family, I would not object if you married one of the girls who work in the hotel."

"Well, that's a relief," JD couldn't help smiling, "I almost wish it was, just to show your father..." JD broke off at the expression on Alexander's face.

"He was killed in a riding accident just after my wedding."

"Oh, Alexander, I'm sorry."

"You couldn't have known. So who is the lucky lady? Not Mrs. Travis?"

"Ezra would kill me," JD grinned, "I have to introduce you two, you have quite a bit in common. No...it's not a woman."

"A man?"

"I owe you a great debt of thanks, Alexander. It's because of you ...of us...that I have him. I told him about us, and one thing led to another..."

"It wouldn't be Mr. Wilmington, would it?"

"How did you guess?"

"He met the coach, and had a reaction when I told him my name. He also said that he was a friend of yours. He and Melinda should be along any minute now, he was just going to show her the newspaper office."

At that moment, Melinda and Buck entered the Sheriff's office.

The look on Alexander's face as he saw his bride satisfied the last lingering doubts JD had been harbouring, and he gave his lover an affectionate smile before greeting his cousin's wife.

JD and Melinda, who had been quite close, were laughing over some old memories, when Alexander took Buck aside.

"You know," Alexander began.

"Yeah, I do," Buck didn't pretend that he didn't know what the other man meant.

"I'm happy with Melinda. You know, JD wanted to set us up, back then. And I want JD back in my family. He should never have left it. I don't expect him to return to New York permanently, but I want him to feel free to visit there whenever he wants. And his partner in life, no matter who it is, will be as welcome as Melinda is here."

"He told you."

"I want the best for him, and Mr. Wilmington - "

"Buck."

"Buck, if you ever hurt him, I'll make sure that you are just as hurt."

"And I say the same to you," Buck replied, evenly.

"Good," Alexander held a hand out. "Friends?"

"Friends."

JD noticed the gesture, and moved over to grasp Buck's hand in affection. Although Melinda was a little surprised, she was too caught up in her newlywed glow to wonder too much about it.

The group of four talked for several more hours, with the rest of the seven dropping in, and Vin exchanged a significant glance with JD when he realised who Alexander was.

The newlyweds joined the seven for dinner. At the end of the evening, after Buck and JD had retired, not too close together to avoid raising any suspicion, JD kissed Buck gently and whispered the words he knew he would never say to anyone else.

"I love you."

Buck did not respond verbally, instead he kissed JD gently and led him to the bed.

The End