Quest for Survival

Ezra groaned and rolled over to turn the alarm off, he hated getting up at this ungodly hour, but he and Vin were going to be flying, on a private plane, to Aspen to check out some leads on a group of gun smugglers that were using Aspen as their base of operations and they had to have a briefing before they left. He didn't mind flying on those big passenger jets, but going on one of those small, private planes was making him very nervous, especially going into the mountains. He threw off the covers and hurried to the bathroom, it was chilly in the morning and he was wearing only his boxer-briefs. He turned on the shower and got it nice and hot, the steam began rolling out and filling the bathroom, steaming up the mirror, he loved a nice hot shower, especially this early in the morning. He showered, shaved, and instead of one of his Armanti suits, he put on khaki's, a royal blue pullover sweater, and hush puppies, he wasn't about to dress in a suit to fly on one of those planes.

Ezra took out his large, black leather dufflebag and put in several more pairs of casual slacks, as well as two sweaters, one burgundy and one black, and a purple polo shirt, into it, he knew it would be cool in Aspen in October, a lot of the mountains already had a lot of snow. He added his black leather jacket and leather boots, then headed for the kitchen where a hot pot of coffee was waiting for him, "Isn't technology grand?" He said aloud, he loved his coffee maker with the timer. He poured a cup, then put the rest in a thermos and put it in the dufflebag. He fixed a bowl of Grapenuts and cut a peach up into it, then put several bananas, apples, and oranges into the dufflebag, it wasn't an extremely long flight, but he wanted something to nibble on anyway. Once finished with his cereal, he picked up his dufflebag and briefcase and headed for the office, it was a warm day in Denver for late October, but he knew it would be different in the mountains and on the plane, but at least the plane had a heater.

Vin was already at the office when Ezra came in, he saw that Ezra too had a dufflebag, "Mornin Ezra, you ready for our little trip?"

"Well, Mr. Tanner, I would prefer if we were driving, but yes." Ezra sat down behind his desk and looked at Vin.

"Are you afraid of flying Ezra?" Vin couldn't help teasing Ezra a little.

"No Mr. Tanner, those small planes make me nervous." He sighed.

"Don't worry Ezra, they are just as safe as the big planes."

"That remains to be seen Mr. Tanner."

Vin couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips, this trip was going to be interesting, he had been the one to get Ezra to open up and let them in, but he really hadn't worked closely with him, where it was just the two of them, he hoped it would be a chance to get to know each other better, "Sorry Ezra, I'll stop teasin ya."

"That would be much appreciated Mr. Tanner."

At that point, Chris came out of his office, "Are you both ready for the briefing?"

"Yes, might as well get this over with." Ezra knew that it would be a long briefing, Chris always had to go over every detail.

"Ok Chris, I'm ready too," Vin got up from his desk and headed for Chris's office.

The briefing lasted for two and a half hours, just like Ezra thought it would. When they came out, the rest of the men were there, working on paperwork, or the computer.

JD stood up and approached them, "Sam called to say that the plane is fueled and ready to go whenever you are."

"Thanks JD, we are on our way to Centennial Airport now" Vin said as he picked up his own dufflebag, a worn out canvas bag, which looked awful next to Ezra's fancy black leather bag.

Ezra was encouraged by the fact that their pilot was Sam, he was one of the best. He was also curious to see Centennial Airport, he had only seen DIA, Centennial was only for smaller or private aircraft. Ezra and Vin headed out in silence, but it was a comfortable silence, they had decided to take Vin's jeep, instead of Ezra's Jag, it would be more secure, parked in the ATF parking garage and Vin's jeep was far less valuable.

"I'm glad this will only take a few days, it seems like a boring assignment." Vin said.

"Perhaps Mr. Tanner, but you will get a chance to rub elbows with some big celebrities." Ezra had a mischievous grin on his face, he knew that Vin didn't care about that sort of thing.

"You should be right at home then Ezra." Vin too smiled.

They arrived at the airport and Vin parked in front of the hanger, Sam was waiting for them.

"Hello gentlemen, are you ready to go? I just filed the flight plan, so we can leave when your ready." Sam was smiling, he loved to fly and it seemed like it had been a long time since he got to fly into the mountains.

"Now is as good a time as any." Vin said as he put his dufflebag behind the back seat of the plane, then took Ezra's and put it there too. Vin then climbed into the back seat and Ezra sat in the passenger seat up front, Sam was already in and was starting the single engine aircraft.

"Buckle up gentlemen." Sam said.

Ezra didn't have to be told twice, he had his on immediately, both Vin and Sam smiled at the southerner's nervousness.

The plane taxied out to the runway and the engine revved up as they moved down the runway, going faster and faster, then they were off the ground and headed into the clear, deep blue, October sky. It was a perfect day, cloudless and warm, but as the plane got higher, it got chilly. Sam turned on the heater and banked the plane to the right, turning it to a westerly direction. As they got closer to the mountains, the plane climbed higher, until they were at an altitude that would take them over the mountains.

Once they were in the air, Ezra relaxed considerably, 'this wasn't so bad and the view is breathtaking' Ezra thought, he found the beauty of the mountains to be serene and relaxing, he didn't think he would ever want to live anywhere else. He found the crisp fall air to be invigorating and the fall foliage was beautiful, especially the Aspen, which looked like shimmering gold in the sunlight.

"Ezra? You all right?" Vin thought he seemed too quiet.

"Fine Mr. Tanner, just taking in the scenery." He was touched that Vin was worried about him.

"Yes, it is beautiful isn't it?"

"Quite Mr. Tanner, but very rugged too."

"Yep, one could easily get lost down there, it's dangerous territory." Vin sighed, he would love to be down there, it would be a great chance to sharpen his tracking skills.

He no sooner finished that thought, when the planes engine began to cut out. "What's wrong Sam?" Vin asked.

I don't know, I need you guys to stay calm and quiet, while I try to figure out whets wrong." He was working the controls like a mad man, but nothing seemed to be working and the plane began a nose dive.

Ezra was holding on so tight, his knuckles were white, the only thought in his mind was, 'God, we are going to die', but he did not voice that thought.

"Hang on, we are going down, that mountain is Mt. Evans, we are slightly north and west of it, remember that and I am sorry." Sam said as the plane dove down.

It became deathly silent in the cockpit, the engine had quit completely, Sam did his best to keep the plane level, but it impacted the side of a mountain, just below timberline, nose first. Everyone was thrown forward as the plane hit, there was no movement from inside after that.

The first thing that Vin was aware of, was the pain shooting through his head, then when he opened his eyes, everything was tilted. It took him a moment to clear the haze from his mind, then he remembered that the plane had crashed. He looked around and discovered that he was on the floor in front of the back seat. He tried to get up, but his head began to swim, so he waited for it to settle down, then moved again. He looked to the front of the cockpit, Ezra was slumped forward, the seatbelt holding him in his seat. The plane was tilted forward, so he had trouble keeping his balance, he gently cupped Ezra's head in his hand and brought his head back, so his chin was no longer resting on his chest. He tried to be careful, for fear that Ezra had a neck or back injury. He then checked for a pulse, he found one, but it was a little weak. Once he had Ezra in a more comfortable position, he turned his attention to Sam, but only briefly, it was obvious he was dead, a tree branch had come through the window, it turned his stomach to look at Sam, so he decided to concentrate on Ezra instead.

Everything he had been taught about a situation like this, was to stay with the plane, they had a better chance of being found, but Vin didn't even know if the Emergency Locator Beacon was working and they hadn't gotten off a Mayday, everything happened too fast, not to mention they were very high up on the mountain, just below timberline, it was cold and the air was thin, so he decided that if Ezra was not injured, they would walk out. His head continued to swim, both from the concussion he knew he had and the thinner air. He was worried about Ezra, he hadn't come to yet, it was obvious that Ezra had suffered a blow to the head, there was a very large bump on the right side and some blood had run down to his neck. He got their dufflebags from the back, putting his own, brown leather jacket on, then removed Ezra's black leather one from his dufflebag and draped it over Ezra. He wanted to get Ezra out of the plane, so he could make him more comfortable, but decided it might be best to spend the night in the plane, where their body heat could keep them warmer.

It took Ezra a moment to remember what happened, as his mind slowly became aware, then the pain shot through his skull like a bolt of lightning. He tried to move, but the seatbelt was restraining him and it felt like it was digging into his abdomen, where there was a dull pain, he decided that he was going to have one hell of a bruise from the seatbelt. He tried to move again and a moan escaped his lips, he ached all over, especially his left shoulder.

"Ezra? How ya doin pard?" Vin was concerned, but relieved that Ezra had finally come to, he had spent the last hour on the radio, then his cell phone, neither worked.

"Vin?"

"Yeah Ezra, you all right?"

"I think so, but I hurt all over and I want out of this seat." He was very uncomfortable where he was and wanted out.

"I ache too Ezra, hang on and let me see if I can help you out, it is more comfortable back here." Vin moved forward and reached for the seatbelt release, at first it didn't release, "Hold onto something Ezra, when the seatbelt releases, you'll fall forward."

"Thank you Mr. Tanner, I am aware of that fact." He was holding onto the seat tightly.

"Sorry Ezra" He was glad to see that Ezra seemed to be returning to his old, sarcastic self. Finally the latch let go and the seatbelt came out, Ezra's grip on the seat held him in place. "Let me help you get back here Ezra, take my hand."

Ezra reached around with his right hand, grimacing at the pain in his body, and took Vin's hand, then he turned in the seat and carefully stepped towards the back, letting Vin pull him. As soon as he was in the back, he sat on the floor next to Vin and leaned back against the seat, closing his emerald eyes against the throbbing and swimming that he experienced from the movement.

"Try to stay awake Ezra, we both need to stay awake, because we both have concussions." He realized that it was too late, Ezra was already asleep. He took a closer look at the bump on the side of Ezra's head, it was a big bump, but hadn't bled much, hopefully he would be all right.

Vin sat trying to figure out a way to generate some warmth in the plane, it was getting very cold as the sun went down. He decided to try the flares, they would burn for a while and produce heat, there were at least a dozen of them under the pilots seat, he could stick the base in one of the small holes that were now in the bottom of the plane.

His idea seemed to work, the flares were keeping the cockpit warm and each burned for quite a while, he would wait to light another one until he felt it getting cold again, then light one. He made sure he kept a couple of them off to the side, so they could use them to signal someone, if need be. He stayed awake all night, Ezra was sleeping the whole time, an occasional groan escaped him, it was a long night and Vin prayed the morning would come quickly.

Vin wasn't the only one that was awake all night, Chris had begun to worry when there was no word from Vin or Ezra and it was hours after they should have arrived in Aspen. He had called Centennial Airport and was told that the plane had left on schedule, so he called Aspen and they advised him that the flight had not arrived and assumed that it had been canceled. After a few more phone calls, the appropriate officials had been notified of the missing plane, with ATF agents on board. He had gotten a call from the search and rescue team at about 6pm, saying they would have to stop searching for the night. At that point he told the others to go home and get some rest, they had all been waiting for news, in Chris's office. "I order you guys to get some sleep, because tomorrow, we are joining the search efforts." He had told them, but he wasn't following his own orders, he lay awake, worried sick that two of his agents, and friends, might be dead. It was pretty obvious that the plane had gone down, there was really no other reason he could think of for their disappearance.

Chris arrived at the office at the crack of dawn, Buck, JD, Nathan, and Josiah were all there and they looked like they had gotten about as much sleep as he had, "I would say good morning boys, but it isn't, is everyone ready to go?" They all nodded, "Good, we are meeting a National Guard helicopter out of Buckley Air Base, at Centennial Airport in 30 minutes, they will take us to the search headquarters near the base of Mt. Evans, then we will take several Hummers and begin searching the surrounding area." That sounded simple, it was anything but, if the plane crashed into a thick section of trees or higher up than the roads went, they would not see them.

There was a helicopter that would be doing a grid search, as soon as the sun was up, Chris knew how hard it could be to find a downed plane in these mountains, it had taken some time to find that Air Force jet that went down several years ago, and they never did find the bombs it was carrying. The ride in the helicopter was a quiet one, no one said anything, their minds were all on their friends and what their fate might have been. Once at the search headquarters, Chris, Buck, and JD went in one Hummer and Nathan and Josiah, went in another. They had their Cell phones, but took walkie talkies too, because there were areas where the Cell phones wouldn't work, then the search began.

+ + + + + + +

It had been a long night and Vin was tired, but he had been without sleep for longer than this, so he was doing ok, his head ached, but not bad. He had run out of the flares around 3am, except the ones he set aside, and it got cold fast, he had moved closer to Ezra, so their body heat could help keep them warm, now it was time to get up and get moving, they needed to get to a lower altitude quickly, so it wouldn't be so cold. He reached over to wake Ezra, he had slept the entire night, which had Vin a little worried, but he knew Ezra was a heavy sleeper.

"Ezra, time to get up, the sun is out and it will help warm us up." He shook Ezra to get him awake.

"Please stop shaking me Mr. Tanner." Ezra's eyes fluttered open and he squinted against the brightness, which sent a sharp pain through his head, so he closed them again. He reached up and felt the bump on his head.

"You ok Ezra?"

"My head is giving me agony, do we have any pain pills?" He desperately wanted some aspirin.

"No, I checked, there's nothing"

"Wonderful, shall we get out of this plane then? I need my sunglasses." Ezra moaned as he opened his eyes again.

"Here they are Ezra." Vin handed Ezra his Oakley sunglasses.

"Thank you Mr. Tanner, now to get to my dufflebag, I put some fruit in it." He really didn't want anything, his stomach hurt and he felt like he wanted to throw up, but he fought it.

"Sounds good, I'm starving." Vin hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday, he knew Ezra hadn't either. He reached behind the seat and grabbed Ezra's dufflebag, pulling the fruit out, but not bothering with the thermos.

"Here Ezra, you need to eat something." He handed Ezra a banana.

Ezra peeled the banana and took a few bites, fighting to keep them down. His stomach had really begun to hurt, but he wouldn't let Vin know, he didn't want him worrying about him, he wanted to do his share, but he felt weak and was afraid that movement would make things worse. "Thank you Mr. Tanner, but I don't have much of an appetite right now, I think it's this headache."

"Try to eat a little at a time, see if that helps." Vin looked at Ezra with concern, but Ezra smiled slightly.

"I'm going to get out of the plane Ezra, then you follow." He watched Ezra nod, he really didn't like the way Ezra looked, but he acted like he was all right.

As soon as Vin was out of the plane and out of visual range, Ezra lifted his sweater to look at his abdomen, pushing the top of his trousers down a little. His abdomen was very black and blue and felt tender, he was pretty certain that he had several bruised ribs and that his left shoulder was also bruised. He quickly put the sweater back down and wrapped his jacket tightly around him. He moved to get out of the plane and his whole body screamed at him, he almost fell back down, but Vin caught his arm and helped him out. "Thank you"

"Are you sure your all right Ezra?" He was concerned, but Ezra kept insisting that he was fine.

"Yes, Mr. Tanner, I just got up too quickly."

"Would you please call me Vin?"

"I will endeavor to, but you know me." Ezra was trying his best to act normal, but he wanted to curl up and go back to sleep. He took his dufflebag, as Vin handed it to him, it felt like it weighed a ton, but he carried it. He hoped for a chance to change clothes, these were dirty and bloody, he hoped he could do it without Vin seeing his abdomen.

"This isn't going to be easy Ezra, the terrain is rough and steep, we are going to have to do a lot of walking, luckily there isn't a lot of snow on the ground."

"Would you mind if I change clothes before we go and put my boots on?" He hoped Vin would decide to scout the area while he changed.

"Ok Ezra, but make it quick, I'm going to look for a good way to go." Vin watched Ezra open his bag, then walked away, to look around.

Ezra quickly changed, it was cold and he didn't want to freeze, or for Vin to see his abdomen. He put on his Burgundy sweater, then fresh trousers and his boots. He still had pain in his stomach and he could no longer fight the urge to throw up. When he did, his heart froze and panic began to set in, there was a fair amount of blood in what he brought up. He heard Vin returning, so he wiped the blood from his chin and quickly put on his poker face.

"You ready to go Ezra?" Vin thought Ezra seemed a little strange, but again he indicated that he was ready to go.

"Yes, lets get this over with." Ezra quickly put his leather jacket back on, silently hoping he wouldn't throw up in front of Vin, if he saw that blood, then he'd be worried.

They began walking, the sun on their backs helped to warm them from the cold of the night. Vin tried to keep a steady pace, but Ezra kept falling behind and he would have to stop and wait for him, "You need a rest Ezra?"

Ezra wanted to say yes more than anything, but instead he said, "No Vin, I am fine." But his stomach felt on fire and he felt himself becoming weaker, what really scared him was the occasional confusion he felt, but he managed to push it away and concentrate on following Vin. He knew that he must have some kind of internal injury, but he didn't know what or how bad, all he knew was the pain and fear he felt.

They walked for hours, but it was slow going and Ezra didn't seem to be able to keep up. Vin was getting irritated, Ezra said he was fine, so he aquainted his lack of speed to the fact that he didn't like to exert himself and probably just wanted to sit and wait for someone to find them, well that wasn't going to happen. "Come on Ezra, will you keep up?"

"Sorry Vin, guess I am just a little tired." He couldn't believe that Vin was getting angry with him, but then he hadn't let on about how he really felt. He pulled his jacket tighter, the sun didn't seem to be warming him right now.

They had made good progress, despite Ezra's slowness, they had to be 4 or 5 thousand feet lower, in altitude than the plane was, but now it was beginning to get dark, as the sun lowered behind the mountains. Vin decided to stop there for the night, there were plenty of trees for shelter and he could see a lot of wood laying around, so they could build a fire. "Ezra, help me gather some wood for a fire." Ezra was sitting on a rock and didn't move when Vin asked for help. " Damn it Ezra, will you get off your lazy ass and help me?" It was at that moment that Ezra keeled over and landed on the ground, Vin now felt very bad about yelling at him.

Ezra had not responded to Vin's request for help, because he had gotten a terrible pain in his abdomen and could not move. He felt himself falling off the rock as Vin yelled at him, then the world went black.

"EZRA" Vin screamed as he ran towards him. He turned Ezra over onto his back and checked him over, his pulse was rapid and his skin was cold and clammy, almost like he was in shock, 'but from what?' he wondered. That was when he noticed the large bruise on Ezra's stomach, his sweater was pulled up slightly. "Damn it Ezra, why didn't you say something?" He pulled the sweater up, so he could look at his stomach, he didn't know a lot of first aid, but he knew enough to know that Ezra probably had some internal injuries. He pressed down gently on Ezra's stomach, trying to feel around, but couldn't feel anything particular, other than the fact that his stomach was rigid. He pulled Ezra's sweater back down, and wrapped his jacket around him, then quickly gathered wood for a fire, he needed to keep Ezra warm.

Ezra woke sometime later with a moan of pain, he didn't know what time it was, but it was dark and there was a fire burning close by. The heat of the fire didn't prevent the chills he had and he wondered why he was camping, he hated camping and certainly wouldn't do it without a sleeping bag and tent. He also couldn't remember who he was camping with, all of this scared him, it didn't feel right for some reason, but his mind was all confused.

Vin heard Ezra's moan, so he moved over beside him, "Ezra? How ya doin pard? Why didn't you tell me you were injured?" He was very worried right now and didn't know how he was going to get Ezra out of this.

Ezra's mind cleared some and he remembered the plane crash, "Vin?" He felt ready to throw up again and fought it.

"Yeah Ezra, how's your stomach?"

"I don't know, I feel sick, I didn't tell you this before Vin, because I didn't want you to worry, but I threw up blood back at the plane, I think I am about to again." His stomach lurched, sending pain through his body.

"Oh God Ezra, you should have told me, we would have stayed put, I'm sorry I yelled at you before." He waited for Ezra to finish throwing up, he wanted to see it, to see if there was blood in it again, but it was too dark. "Did you taste blood Ezra?" He nodded, then Vin could see some blood on Ezra's chin, it stood out against the paleness of Ezra's skin, he felt his own stomach tighten, not because he was sick, but because he was afraid that Ezra was going to die.

"Vin, I'm scared, I don't want to die."

"I'm not going to let you die Ezra, I will get you out of this." He prayed he would get him out of it, but right now he didn't know how. He had never seen or heard Ezra confess to such vulnerability, he always kept his emotions in check, so to hear him say he was scared, really scared Vin. He knew Ezra was a human being and had feelings, but it was so rare for him to express them, that sometimes he and the others tended to forget that. Vin liked to think he knew a lot of things, but right now he had no idea what to do for Ezra, other than keeping him warm and calm. "Go back to sleep Ezra, we will figure out what to do in the morning."

"Very well Mr. Tanner." Ezra's voice was barely a mumble as he drifted back to sleep, the pain was getting worse, but it didn't prevent him from falling asleep. He was shivering, despite the warmth of the fire, he knew it was shock, but was trying to fight it. he felt Vin lay down next to him and the shivering subsided a bit, but not completely.

It had been a long day and the search parties had no luck at all, but they had covered a lot of ground and now knew where Vin and Ezra weren't. All of the men were very tired and worried, so they were happy to crawl into bed at the hotel, none of them bothered with dinner, they just went straight to bed, they wanted to get an early start in the morning. The whole situation had now made the news and there were a lot of reporters around, but they kept their distance and reserved their questions for the designated spokes person, of that Chris was grateful, he had been afraid that he would be inundated by reporters, since he was the supervisor of the two missing agents and he didn't want that, he wanted to be free to help in the search. There had been a growing feeling of doom all day, they all had a bad feeling that one, or both of their friends, was in serious trouble.

They all got a good nights sleep, they had been so exhausted from the day before, now they were having breakfast in the hotel restaurant.

"You think we will find them in time Chris?" Buck asked, there was a snow storm moving into the mountains, which was not a good thing.

"I hope so Buck, I've got a bad feeling that one of them is in serious trouble already." Chris said.

"I have that feeling too." Nathan said, it was surprising to him, at how connected they all seemed to be, they just knew when something was wrong with one of the others and his feeling was strong right now.

"Well, they have intensified the search, there are now three helicopters flying a grid pattern and more National Guard have been called in." Chris had checked with the search headquarters and been told that information.

"I don't know about the rest of you. but I'm ready to start searching again." JD said

"Yes, lets get going, that snowstorm is not going to wait." Chris replied as he stood.

"Where are we going to start Chris?" Josiah asked.

"We are going to check that mountain that is to the northwest of Mt. Evans, their flight plan was to take them right over it." Chris advised.

"Sounds good, lets go." Buck said as they paid the bill and left to get in their vehicles.

By noon that day, one of the helicopters had spotted the wreckage, Chris and the others were the closest, so they headed straight for the coordinates. As soon as they found the wreckage, which took a while, because they had to leave their vehicles and go on foot, because the terrain was to rough and there were a lot of trees, they checked inside the plane and only found Sam's body and a small amount of blood on the passengers side. Nathan was inspecting something on the ground outside the plane.

"What is it Nathan?" Chris asked.

"From the looks of this, one of them is vomiting blood."

"What? That's bad isn't it?" Chris asked reluctantly.

"It can be, yes, it usually means internal injuries of some sort."

"Why would they leave the plane? Especially if one of them is hurt that badly?" JD asked.

"Vin probably felt they were to high up to be found, so he would want to get down the mountain." Chris replied.

"As far as the injury goes, whoever is vomiting blood may not realize it's that serious, sometimes the more severe symptoms don't appear right away, or they know the severity and kept quiet." Nathan knew it was Ezra, his instincts told him that Ezra had vomited the blood, but didn't tell Vin, most likely Vin was pushing him to get going, so he would stay quiet and walk, which was a bad thing for Ezra.

"It's Ezra, that stubborn son of a......... he's going to kill himself." Chris knew it was Ezra too and he was angry at both men, Ezra for keeping something like that from Vin, and Vin for, most likely, pushing Ezra to get moving.

"They couldn't have gotten all that far on foot, lets get back to the vehicles and begin searching the area, these clouds are going to start snowing anytime now and it's getting colder." Chris headed back to the vehicles, they would come back for Sam and the plane later.

+ + + + + + +

When Vin woke in the morning, Ezra was curled up, holding his stomach, he had thrown up again and it was still bloody. Vin was very worried now, they weren't going to be moving anywhere with the condition that Ezra seemed to be in. "How ya doin Ezra?"

"My stomach hurts and I can't stop shivering." Ezra had never been so afraid that he was going to die.

"Hang in there pard, I'll figure something out." What he had no idea.

"I will try to walk Vin, if you help me." Ezra wanted out of the mountains, even if it meant more pain.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea Ezra, the physical exertion could make your injuries worse." He didn't know if it would or not, but he didn't want to take the risk.

"The way I see it Vin, either way I am in trouble, if we stay here I am still going to get worse, at least if we try to walk, I will die knowing that I tried." He truly believed that he was going to die, one way or the other.

"Stop that Ezra, your not going to die." But he didn't know if that was true, Ezra was so pale.

"We should still try to keep walking, if you help me it will be easier." He was not used to asking for help and it felt uncomfortable, but this was a life or death situation.

"Ok Ezra, but you better tell me when it gets to be too much and you need to stop."

"I will Vin, believe me I will"

Vin helped Ezra stand, he saw the brief flash of pain that crossed his features, this was going to be difficult and Ezra was going to be in a lot of pain, he admired the southerner's courage. "You ok Ezra?"

"Yes Vin, lets get going, I don't like the look of those clouds and it's getting colder."

"Yeah, there is a snowstorm moving in, I hoped you wouldn't notice, you have enough to worry about." Vin saw the slight smile that tugged at the corner of Ezra's mouth.

"Thank you for the concern Vin." He appreciated Vin's attempts at levity, but they weren't very good.

They began to walk, Vin had his arm around Ezra's waist and Ezra had his arm over Vin's shoulders, they actually made decent time, but they had to stop frequently to let Ezra rest, Vin couldn't believe Ezra's guts. He could tell that Ezra was in a lot of pain, despite his best efforts to hide it. Several hours passed, at which point they heard a helicopter, but could not see it through the thick trees. By the time Vin got Ezra on the ground and found an opening in the trees, it had disappeared.

"That was a good effort Mr. Tanner, however we will need to stay here briefly." Ezra was about to throw up again .

"Why? What's wrong?" He could see that Ezra didn't look well.

"I do believe that I am about to relieve my stomach of it's contents, which I have no doubt is blood." Then he turned away and began throwing up.

Vin moved over and knelt beside Ezra, he put his hand on Ezra's back and rubbed, trying to provide some comfort to his friend, and he actually felt comfortable calling him his friend. When Ezra was finished he fell asleep, but that was all right with Vin, his head was beginning to ache some anyway.

At the time Chris and the others were arriving at the plane wreckage, Ezra was awake again and by the time the others were heading back to the vehicles, to resume the search, Vin and Ezra were walking again.

"Vin?"

"What is it Ezra?"

"I am really afraid I'm not going to make it, I keep getting confused."

"Take it easy Ezra, it's probably just part of the shock your body is suffering from, or the blow you took to the head."

"Maybe, but it scares me." His head was pounding, but the pain and fire in his stomach was worse, he didn't want to take another step, but he knew they needed to keep moving, the snow would be coming down hard soon and that would make things more difficult. He couldn't quite believe that there was such wilderness, not in this seemingly overcrowded world, but there had been no sign of anyone, no sounds, no trash, nothing, except the helicopter earlier, but that was gone now and it was quiet. He felt so alone and lost, even with Vin there.

Ezra's weight was beginning to give Vin a major headache, he was supporting his weight more and more, as Ezra got weaker and weaker. Right now they were going down a steep slope and the footing was slippery, Vin was trying to be careful, but they both lost their footing and fell, they rolled down the slope until they were stopped by trees, there were also some large boulders, but they were lucky enough to hit the trees instead of the boulders. Vin cried out as his hip smacked the tree, he knew his hip was badly bruised, at best, broken at worst. He looked around for Ezra and saw him laying unconscious next to another tree, it appeared that he hit it with his right shoulder.

Ezra could not believe what was happening, they were rolling down this steep hill, he knew it was going to be bad, he actually hoped it would end his life, he didn't think he could take any more pain. Blackness took him as his right shoulder impacted the tree, breaking his shoulder blade. He was now aware of nothing and was grateful for a break from the agony in his body.

Vin crawled to Ezra to check his pulse, he had one and it was still rapid, he needed to help Ezra, so he got to his knees, ignoring the pain that shot through his hip and moved Ezra to a more comfortable position, feeling his shoulder, he discovered the broke shoulder blade. He cringed, Ezra didn't need any more injuries. He knew he needed to try and get a fire started, the snow was coming down harder and they were not going any farther now. He moved around the best he could and gathered what wood he could find, then started a fire as close to the boulders as possible, the heat of the fire would make the rocks hot and provide additional heat, not to mention the boulders would provide some protection against the elements. Once he had the fire going, he gently dragged Ezra over next to it.

Ezra wasn't aware of anything, but the pain in his body, now on top of his head and abdomen hurting, his right shoulder was on fire as well. He felt the heat of the fire and opened his eyes, a moan of pain escaped his lips as he tried to change position. He heard Vin's voice and tried to focus on it.

"Stay put Ezra, don't try to move."

"Vin? What happened?"

"We fell down the hill, remember?"

"Yes, unfortunately I do, what happened to my shoulder?"

"The shoulder blade is broken, so don't move around too much."

"Help me sit up against the rock."

"All right, if that's what you want."

"Yes, it is Mr. Tanner."

"Ok" Vin got up and limped over to Ezra, then helped him sit against the boulder, "Is that comfortable?"

"Yes Vin, what happened to you?"

"I bruised my hip when I hit a tree."

"I am sorry Vin, I guess we aren't going anywhere now."

"No, we will have to let them find us now." He hoped the smoke from the fire would help, but not until morning, it was almost dark now.

"Vin? I need to throw up." Then he leaned over and threw up, turning the snow there red.

"Ezra, I am so sorry, just hang in there, I know we will get out of this, don't lose hope."

"I will try Vin, but it's getting harder to concentrate, my mind wanders and gets confused."

"Try to get some sleep, I will keep the fire going, to keep us warm."

Ezra nodded and closed his eyes, he had no trouble getting to sleep, but he was starting to become afraid of sleeping, for fear he wouldn't wake up again.

Vin opened Ezra's dufflebag and took out the thermos, he put it close to the fire, in hopes of heating the coffee inside, then he took out the rest of the fruit and put the dufflebag behind Ezra's head and shoulder, hoping to make him more comfortable, he was already deeply asleep. "Sleep well pard, we will get out of this, I promise." He then ate the fruit and once the coffee was warm, drank that as well, Ezra made incredibly good coffee, much better than the mud that Buck and JD usually made. He was grateful to Ezra for packing the fruit and coffee, he just wished he could share it with him, but he knew that he couldn't have anything, not with internal injuries. He gathered more wood and settled in for the night, he knew it would be another long one and hoped Ezra would make it through.

Chris was worried, the snow was coming down harder and because of the thick clouds, it was getting dark and cold sooner. There had been no sign of Vin or Ezra so far, Buck, JD, and Nathan were walking through the woods, while he and Josiah were in the Hummer. Chris stopped the vehicle when he saw Nathan motioning about something. He and Josiah jumped out and headed towards Nathan, all four men arrived at his location at the same time. "What is it Nathan?"

"They were here, how long ago I don't know, but there was a camp fire here and more blood was vomited here." Nathan indicated the spots, the snow hadn't covered those things yet, because the trees were very thick there and the snow was barely getting through.

"Well, at least we know they are still on the move." Buck said.

"Yes, but that really isn't good for Ezra, he's still vomiting blood." That was a fact that had Nathan very worried.

"Are you sure it's Ezra? Seems to me, if it were Ezra, he wouldn't budge, knowing it would cause him more pain." Chris asked.

"It's Ezra, if it were Vin, they would never have left the plane." Nathan replied.

"That's very true, Ezra must be in tremendous pain, I admire his courage, to keep walking in that condition." Buck said.

"We should be able to find them now, they are probably going straight down from here." Chris thought that made sense, and it did.

"Good point Chris, lets go." JD remarked.

"Not so fast JD, I want to find them as quick as possible, but it's almost dark and I don't want anyone fumbling around out there and getting lost or injured, we'll start from here in the morning, Buck, put a marker here, so it won't be covered by the snow." Chris wanted to do what JD wanted to do, but he wouldn't risk any more men, he just prayed that Vin and Ezra would survive the night.

"Ok Chris." Buck replied, as he went to the Hummer and took out a bright red marker flag.

Then they all headed back down the mountain to their hotel, now that the wreckage had been found and they knew where to look, the search had been pretty much called off and the National Guard had brought the wreckage and Sam's body down.

+ + + + + + +

Vin slept off and on, he wanted to be sure the fire didn't go out and that the rocks that he had gathered and put next to the fire, to get hot, were replaced around Ezra, with new, hot ones. The hot rocks seemed to be allowing Ezra to sleep fairly comfortably, at least as comfortable as someone in his condition could be, he even used some of the rocks himself, trying to keep the stiffness out of his hip, but he knew that it was going to be stiff in the morning anyway.

Ezra woke sometime during the night, the confusion in his mind scared him, but after a moment, it began to drift away. He was aware of warmth all around him and when he looked around he saw rocks all around him. He looked over at Vin, who appeared to be dozing, but the fire was still burning good. He felt his stomach lurch, so he turned away from Vin, which sent pain through his broken shoulder blade, and vomited, the red of the blood stood out against the white snow. He closed his eyes against the pain in his body, a tear rolled down his cheek, he just knew he was going to die.

"Ezra? You all right pard?" Vin's voice was shaky, his concern for Ezra continued to grow.

"No Mr. Tanner, I am not." Ezra whispered, he could not hide the emotion from his voice.

"Hang on Ezra, don't give up on me please?" Vin was very scared, he had never heard such emotion in Ezra's voice. He moved closer to him and put his hand on Ezra's left shoulder.

"I'm trying Vin, but I am so scared, the pain is almost unbearable now."

"I'm sorry Ezra, try to go back to sleep."

"I'm afraid to Vin, I'm afraid that I won't wake up again."

"Well try, you need as much rest as you can get." Vin could see the pain in Ezra's eyes, it was making them glassy.

Vin tried to wake Ezra a few hours later, just to check on him and realized that he was now unconscious. He checked his pulse and it was rapid, his breathing shallow, and his skin, pale and clammy. "Come on Ezra, hang on, it will be morning soon." He had never been so worried about someone before in his life. He then changed the cold rocks for hot ones again and prayed that Ezra would make it through the night.

When Vin woke in the morning, the snow was still coming down hard, the fire was almost out, so he got it going again, and Ezra was actually awake. Vin wished Ezra wasn't awake, the agony in his glassy, green eyes, tore at his heart. "Hey Ezra, ya hangin in there?"

"Yes." His voice was barely a whisper

"You got some guts Ezra, try to hang on."

"I am trying Vin, but I'm getting to the point where I just want to die." He didn't know how much longer he could take the pain. He felt his stomach lurch again, so he turned away again and vomited blood, but more this time.

"Ezra, I don't know what to do to help you, I feel like I am just sitting here watching you die." He felt so helpless.

"It's not your fault........Vin, there's........nothing.......you can do." He closed his eyes and let the darkness take him again.

"I'm sorry Ezra."

Chris and the others were up with the sun and didn't even bother with breakfast. They immediately headed back up the mountain to where they left the marker. They spread out and headed down the mountain, staying in visual range of each other. They still saw no signs of Vin or Ezra, but they knew the snow would have covered any signs. Several hours passed and as they moved farther down, Buck suddenly saw smoke rising through the trees. "Chris, smoke."

"Think it's them?" Nathan asked, he hoped so, he didn't think Ezra could last much longer.

"Who else could it be?" Chris said, "Lets get moving, Josiah, go back and get the Hummer, get it as close to the location of the smoke, as you can."

"Ok Chris, I'll drive over rocks and trees if I have to." Josiah said as he ran back to the vehicle.

They all moved quickly down the slope, it was steep. They wanted to get to the source of the smoke as quickly as possible, JD actually slipped in the snow once and landed on his butt, but was up and moving again instantly. When they reached the campfire, they all froze in their tracks at what they saw before them.

+ + + + + + +

Vin heard movement and looked up, both surprise and relief in his eyes. He was at Ezra's side, his hands rubbing his back, as he again vomited blood. "Thank God, Ezra needs immediate medical attention, Chris I think he's going to die."

The pain in Vin's eyes tore at Chris's heart, then when he saw the physical pain in Ezra's eyes, his heart felt as if it were being squeezed inside his chest. He pulled the Walkie Talkie out of his pocket. "Josiah, come in."

"Yeah Chris, I'm almost there."

"Make it fast, Ezra's in bad shape."

"Ok Chris."

They could hear the Hummer's engine as it approached, "Get Ezra ready to put in the back." Chris said. He noticed the bump on Vin's head and the limp when he walked, so he was injured too, just not as bad. As soon as the Hummer was as close as Josiah could get it, which wasn't all that close, but they could see it, Buck and Nathan helped Ezra up and carried him to the Hummer. Chris could see that Ezra was barely clinging to consciousness, he was amazed at Ezra's courage, to withstand that kind of pain and blood loss, but kept going, he just prayed they didn't lose him.

Vin tried to help Nathan get Ezra into the Hummer, but with his injured hip, there wasn't much he could do. They laid Ezra in the back, then Vin and Nathan got in with him. Chris got in the passenger seat and JD and Buck squeezed in where they could. Then Josiah moved the vehicle out of the trees and back toward the path they had taken to get up there. It took some time, but they finally got down to where the road began. Vin took Ezra's dufflebag and put it under Ezra's head, he had a hard time looking into Ezra's, glassy, pain filled eyes, so instead he watched Nathan take Ezra's vitals, a look of great concern on his dark features, "How is he Nathan?"

"Not good Vin, we need to get him to a hospital fast." Ezra's vitals were unstable and Nathan was very worried.

"We're going as fast as we can, I'll call for a helicopter to be standing by." Chris said.

Josiah was driving as fast as he could and Chris got on his cell phone, thankfully it worked. "This is Agent Larabee, I need a medical helicopter standing by, we found the agents, but one is in serious condition......All right, thanks.........no, we will be there in a few minutes." He turned the phone off, then turned around to see how Ezra was doing, "Nathan?"

"It's not good Chris, he's got internal injuries and bleeding, probably a ruptured spleen and the vomiting of blood usually indicates an injury to the stomach or intestines, he also has a pretty bad concussion and a broken shoulder blade."

"God Nathan, is he going to make it?" JD asked.

"If we get him to the hospital fast enough, I think so, but it's going to be touch and go." Nathan said, watching Ezra as he lost consciousness.

"Hang in there Ezra." Vin spoke softly, then brushed the hair off Ezra's forehead, being careful of the bump on the side.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, all eyes, except Josiah's, which were glued to the road, were on Ezra. They were looking for any change, good or bad. When they arrived at the search headquarters, a large military helicopter was waiting and they all got to ride with Ezra. There were two National Guard medics on board and they began working on Ezra, putting an IV in his arm, to give him fluids and medication, then they took his vitals and gave him one pint of blood. They didn't want to give him too much, since he was bleeding internally. It took about 20 minutes to fly down to Denver General Hospital and they rushed Ezra straight into the OR.

Vin was put in a wheelchair and taken for X-rays, then he was admitted for observation. His hip wasn't broken, but it was badly bruised and he had a mild concussion. He was laying in the hospital bed, fidgeting, he wanted to know how Ezra was, he wanted to be waiting with the others.

It had taken two hours to have the x-rays and then be admitted, but there was still no word on Ezra. He supposed that was a good thing, if he were dead, then they would know by now.

"Hey Vin, how ya doin?" Buck stuck his head in the door.

"Great, just great, any word on Ezra?"

Buck shook his head no, he was very worried himself, as were the rest of them. Ezra had been in bad shape when they found him and Buck was afraid he was going to die. No matter how strong and stubborn Ezra was, there was only so much a body could take and Ezra's had almost reached that point.

"I'm really afraid we're going to lose his this time Vin."

"I hope not Buck, we may have had our problems with him, but it

wouldn't be the same without him."

"No Vin, it wouldn't."

"How are Chris and the others doing?"

"They are all waiting, impatiently." Buck smiled a little.

"I wish I were with you guys Buck, instead of in this bed."

"I know Vin, but you need rest and a good nights sleep, we will keep you informed."

"I know, thanks Buck."

"Sure Vin, now get some sleep, we will come and let you know when we hear anything." Buck watched Vin's eyes drift shut, then he turned and left to go back to the waiting area, with the others.

+ + + + + + +

Another four hours passed before the doctor finally came out, he was wearing a white lab coat, but his scrubs could be seen underneath and they were bloody, they all knew it was Ezra's blood.

"Gentlemen, Agent Standish is out of surgery, he's being moved to the ICU, so we can monitor him until his vitals are more stable, he's in guarded condition."

"What was the extent of Ezra's injuries?" Nathan asked.

"He had a ruptured spleen, we removed that, and a tear in his stomach wall, which was causing him to vomit blood, he lost a lot of blood, we have replaced most of it, but the rest is up to him."

"When can we see him?" Chris asked.

"Not for a while, we need to keep him in as sterile an environment as possible, without his spleen, he will be more susceptible to illness."

"Will he live a normal life without his spleen?" JD asked.

"Oh yes, he just needs to be careful, if he gets plenty of protein in his diet and stays as physically fit, as he is now, he should be just fine."

"So he will be all right?" Buck asked.

"He's not out of the woods, no. He's got a long way to go, he will be very susceptible to infection or even pneumonia, for the next week or so, until he's healed and he's gotten some strength back. I need to go now and make sure that Agent Standish gets settled in the ICU all

right."

"Thank you doctor, please keep us informed." Chris said.

"I will and I will let you all see him as soon as possible."

They watched the doctor walk down to the end of the hall and go through the big doors that had ICU printed on them in bright orange letters.

"I'm going to see Vin and let him know." Chris said as he walked to the elevator, to go down one floor to Vin's room, it was obvious that he was worried about Ezra.

Vin woke when he heard the door to his room open, it took a moment for his eyes to focus, then he saw Chris standing there "Chris?"

"Yeah Vin, it's me, how ya doin?"

"Fine, how's Ezra?"

"Out of surgery, but in ICU in guarded condition."

"What does that mean?"

"That they are watching him closely, his vitals are unstable and since they had to remove his spleen, they have to watch for infection or pneumonia."

"So he could still die?"

"Yes, but he's not going to, he's gotten through the toughest part, with your help, so as long as there aren't any complications, he'll be all right."

"I didn't do anything Chris, I felt so helpless out there, watching him slowly die."

"That's not true, you were there for him and gave him support and comfort."

"Well, it didn't feel that way, please keep me informed about his condition, until I get out of here?"

"I will Vin, it should only be a couple of days, until the worst of the bruising in your hip goes away."

"It better be, I hate hospitals."

"I know you do, get some more rest, I'll come back later."

"Thanks for letting me know about Ezra."

"Your welcome Vin." Chris waited until Vin was asleep again, then left to go back upstairs.

+ + + + + + +

Nathan had gone to ask the doctor if he could see Ezra's chart. After a little explaining, the doctor agreed. Right now he was reading the chart, Ezra was unconscious, his pulse and blood pressure were fluctuating and his respiration was shallow,'the doctor was right, his vitals are unstable', he thought. He read the list of medications Ezra was on, there were pain killers, antibiotics, anti-inflamitories, etc. Reading the chart did nothing, but make him worry more, so he went back and joined the others.

"Where did you go Brother Nathan?" Josiah asked.

"I went to look at Ezra's chart."

"How's he doing?"

"Not good Josiah, his vitals are unstable and he's on a lot of medication."

"I've been praying for him."

"Me too Josiah, me too."

"You think we will be able to see him soon?"

"Probably not for a couple of days at least, and then we will probably have to wear masks and sterile clothes, he can't be exposed to any germs right now."

"That's unfortunate, but I will gladly wear them if it allows us to see him."

Nathan shook his head, then the two men fell silent. A few minutes later Nathan looked up as Chris came back from visiting Vin. "How's Vin?"

"Sleeping, but he wants out of the hospital, he hates it."

"Not surprising, at least he's sleeping."

"Yeah, how's Ezra? Any word?"

"No, but I went and got the doctor to let me look at his chart."

"What was that like?"

"Pretty much what the doctor said, his vitals are unstable, he's unconscious, and on a lot of medication."

"I really would like to see him."

"I know Chris, but right now it's too dangerous for Ezra, any kind of germs could cause an infection or worse, as weak as he is right now, anything serious could be fatal."

"We'll wait, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize his health, we came close to losing him and I guess we still could."

"Yeah, until his vitals stabilize, he's at great risk, but I think we should all go home and get some sleep, there's nothing we can do here for now."

"Your right Nathan, it's been a rough couple of days." Chris turned from Nathan to look at all the men, "I want you all to go home and get some sleep, there's nothing we can do tonight and the doctor has my phone number, in case anything happens." Several of them began to speak,

but Chris raised his hand, "No arguments." He watched as they all got up and headed toward the elevators, then he followed behind.

As the others slept, Ezra slowly began to improve, his vitals became more stable and they were stronger, but he also began to develop a fever. He woke briefly during the night, the confusion he had felt before, was not completely gone, but after a few minutes he realized

that he was in the hospital. He noticed the nurse, who was monitoring his condition, he tried to speak, but his voice was hoarse and weak, "Where am I?"

"Shhhh....don't try to speak Mr. Standish, your in the ICU at Denver General Hospital."

"I ache...all over, what.....happened?"

"You were in a plane crash."

"I know.....but why is my......arm strapped to my side?...... and my stomach.....hurts."

"They had to operate, to repair the damage to your stomach and remove your spleen, your arm is strapped to your side, because of your broken shoulder blade."

Ezra groaned and closed his eyes again, he wanted to go back into the painless void that he had been in, he liked it there right now.

Nurse Riley had been amazed by Mr. Standish's green eyes, when he opened them, they were like sparkling emeralds, much like her husband's, but more brilliant. She decided that she should take his temperature, before he was back to sleep again, "Mr. Standish, I need to take your

temperature, I'm going to put this in your ear for a moment." She watched him nod slightly, but he didn't open his eyes. When she removed the thermometer, her brow creased, he had a temperature of 100, that was not high, but it was not good either, he was probably developing an

infection. She noted the temperature on his chart and made a mental note to tell the doctor, when he came in.

When doctor Carter came in, he examined Mr. Standish, his incision showed no signs of infection and his white cell count was not up, at least not yet, his temperature had risen to 101, but that was still not that high. He would be worried if it continued to increase and he gave

the nurse explicit directions to monitor Mr. Standish's temperature closely and to watch for any other signs of infection or pneumonia. He then went to see Mr. Standish's friends, he wanted to fill them in on what was going on. "Gentlemen, did you all get a good nights sleep?"

"As good as we could under the circumstances, how is Ezra?" Buck asked.

"Well, his vitals are more stable and stronger, but he has developed a fever, it's not high at the moment, but we are monitoring him closely, he could be developing an infection or pneumonia. We won't know for a while yet."

"That's a bad thing for him right?" JD asked.

"It could be, depending on why he has the fever and how severe it is, but we will do whatever it takes to keep him alive and pull him through this."

"Thank you doctor, can we see him?" Chris asked.

"Well, I suppose one of you could go in, but you will have to wear some sterile scrubs and a mask, so you don't expose him to any germs."

"Go ahead Chris, the rest of us can wait." Josiah said.

"Yeah Chris, you go and see him." JD added.

"All right, lead the way doctor."

Chris went and got into some surgical scrubs and put on a mask, then the doctor took him in to the isolation ward of the ICU. Ezra was laying unconscious in the bed, a slight sheen of sweat on his skin, from the fever in his body. Chris couldn't help but notice the large bandage

that covered his abdomen and all the tubes and wires going into him, he really looked pale and weak. "Hey Ezra, how ya doin pard? Everyone wants to see you, but it's too dangerous right now."

"Chris?" Ezra's voice was a whisper and he didn't open his eyes.

"Yeah Ezra, how ya feelin?"

"Horrible, how's Vin?"

"He's fine, don't worry about him, just concentrate on getting well."

"Chris?"

"Yeah Ezra?"

"If anything happens to me, I want you to make sure that Vin doesn't blame himself."

"Nothings going to happen to you Ezra, so stop talking like that, besides he knows none of it was his fault."

"Good" Ezra said, then he was silent again.

"Get well Ezra, we are all pulling for you." Chris then turned and left, he needed to visit Vin and tell him what Ezra said.

As nurse Riley's shift ended, she filled her replacement, nurse Peters, in to Mr. Standish's condition and that she was to monitor his condition closely for any indications of infection or pneumonia. Nurse Riley was becoming quite fond of the handsome, young ATF agent, it was too bad that she was at least 15 years older than him and married.

As the day progressed, Ezra's temperature got higher, by the time the doctor came to examine him, his temperature was to 104. The doctor was quite concerned and after listening to Mr. Standish's lungs with a stethoscope, he knew that Mr. Standish had developed pneumonia. He

immediately prescribed stronger antibiotics and inserted a chest tube, to drain the fluid from his lungs, now Mr. Standish was unconscious and his breathing was labored, the nurse began applying cold packs to him and wiping him down with a cold cloth. The doctor was now looking for Mr. Standish's friends.

+ + + + + + +

Chris had gone to visit Vin, right after he left Ezra. He wanted him to know that Ezra didn't blame him for anything. "Vin, I saw Ezra, he seems pretty bad, but his first thought was of you, he wanted to be sure you were all right and that you didn't blame yourself for anything."

"I do blame myself Chris, Ezra was injured and I didn't notice, I knew he was acting strange, but in my hurry to get going, I ignored it, if we had stayed at the plane, you would have found us at least a day sooner."

"Stop it Vin, I promised Ezra that you didn't blame yourself for anything, so don't make me a liar, you know how Ezra is about hiding things, your not to blame."

"Well, no matter what you say Chris, I do blame myself for that part of it, I can't change the way I feel."

"I know Vin, but don't let on to Ezra, he has enough to worry about."

"I would never do that Chris, he needs to concentrate on getting well."

"Yes he does, so you want to play some cards? to pass the time, I am sure they will come and let us know if anything happens with Ezra."

"Sure, where is everyone else?"

"At the office, taking care of paperwork, they will be by later to see you and Ezra."

They spent the next several hours playing poker, then Chris went to get some lunch, while Vin was taken for one final set of x-rays. Chris then went to the nurses station outside the ICU, to see how Ezra was doing. "How is Agent Standish?" He asked the nurse.

"His fever is still climbing, but it's still not all that high yet."

"What does that mean?"

"He has probably developed an infection, the doctor will increase his antibiotics, to fight it, there is no cause for concern." This was before his fever spiked to 104 and the doctor determined that it was pneumonia.

"All right, thank you nurse." Chris said, then went back downstairs to Vin's room, he found all the others there and they were joking with Vin.

"How's Ezra?" Vin asked.

"His fever is higher, but the nurse said it was probably just an infection, they will increase his antibiotics, she said there was nothing to worry about."

"I am still worried, Ezra having a fever is not a good thing Chris, not in his condition." Nathan said.

"Well, all we can do is wait, I hope you guys haven't been torturing Vin too badly."

"Nah, he's loving it." Buck chided.

+ + + + + + +

It was 6pm when the doctor made his determination, all the men were still in Vin's room, when the doctor finally found Mr. Larabee. "Gentlemen, I was looking for Mr. Larabee, but I'm glad your all here."

"What is it doctor? Is something wrong with Ezra?" Chris asked.

"Well, yes actually. He has developed pneumonia, it came on rather quickly and the symptoms are severe."

"How severe?" Nathan asked.

"His fever has spiked to 104 and is still rising, his lungs are very congested, so he is now unconscious again. We are applying cold packs to him and I have increased the dose of antibiotics, so all we can do is wait."

"Will he be all right?" Vin asked.

"We hope so, but in his condition, it's going to be a real struggle, he's very weak."

"He's a fighter doc, he'll make it." Buck said, with more enthusiasm than he felt.

"I will keep you all posted."

"Thank you doctor." Chris said, then the room became deathly quiet as the doctor left, they all looked at each other and could feel the fear and worry in the room.

Ezra's sleep was restless, his chest felt tight and heavy, he struggled for breath, and his fevered mind was in the throws of a nightmare, a nightmare about the plane crash and the days that followed, when he truly thought he would die, he still had that feeling, he just knew he

was going to die. The nightmare was one from which he could not escape, it played over and over in his mind, seeing the plane going down, the look of helplessness and guilt on Vin's face, after he realized that Ezra was injured, all of it. Finally he cried out and jerked awake.

"Mr. Standish, are you all right?" Nurse Riley asked as she applied another cold pack to his forehead.

"What? Where? Oh god, I feel like I am dying."

"I know Mr. Standish, this pneumonia is severe and in your weakened state, your body is having to fight harder, but your going to make it, I know you are." Nurse Riley felt terrible, she couldn't seem to do anything to ease his pain and discomfort, she was growing very fond of

this young man and didn't like to see him like this.

"Pneumonia?........ When did I......get that?"

"Yesterday, just try to relax and let your body do the work, I know it's difficult, but you can do it, you just have to hang on."

"I will try."

"Good, now go back to sleep." She then wiped him down with a cold cloth, his body was covered with sweat, as his temperature was now 106, but had not risen above that. She then got a hold of the doctor and let him know what was going on, that perhaps one of Mr. Standish's friends should be there for him. The doctor agreed and was going to call Mr. Larabee, so she went back and continued to apply the cold packs to Mr. Standish.

+ + + + + + +

Chris's phone rang at 4 in the morning, he answered it quickly, "Hello?"

"Mr. Larabee?"

"Yes"

"This is doctor Carter, I thought you would like to know that Mr. Standish's fever is up to 106, but hasn't gone any higher, he seems to be having some severe nightmares and I thought that perhaps one of his friends should be here for him, so he doesn't feel alone."

"Ok, I am on my way, how is he doing doctor, really?"

"Well, it's good that his fever hasn't gotten any higher, that would be very dangerous, but his lungs are filling with fluid, almost faster than we can drain them, the antibiotics are taking time to work, but I think they are beginning to, that's why his fever has not increased."

"Thank you doctor, I will be right there."

"All right Mr. Larabee, check in at the nurses station when you get there and they will get you some surgical scrubs and a mask."

"All right." Chris hung up the phone, then hung his head, he was very worried about Ezra, it didn't sound good, he seemed to be having a very difficult time. He quickly dressed and headed out the door, he wanted to be there for Ezra, there had been times in the past when he hadn't

been and he now knew that it left a scar on Ezra's soul, so he would not do that again.

Vin couldn't sleep, the news that Ezra had pneumonia had him very worried, he still felt guilty about ignoring the fact that Ezra didn't seem right and insisting that they walk out, he knew if they had stayed at the plane, Chris and the others would have found them at least a day

soon. That fact ate at his soul and he just wanted to tell Ezra how sorry he was for everything, but Chris had told Ezra that he didn't blame himself, he understood why Chris had done it, so Ezra would worry about him, but he still wished he could tell him. He didn't usually pray, he wasn't real big on that, but right now he was praying his soul out, that Ezra would be all right, he needed him to be all right, because he wasn't sure if he could live with himself if Ezra died.

As soon as Chris arrived at the hospital, he went straight to the nurses station, they were waiting for him and gave him the scrubs. He quickly put them on, as well as a mask, then went into Ezra's room, in the isolation ward, nurse Riley was there, wiping him down with a cold,

wet cloth. "How is he nurse?"

"Not good, he's fighting for every breath and with the fever he's got, it's giving him some very bad nightmares, I think your just what he needs."

"Ok, I will talk to him, if that's what he needs, I will do anything to help him."

"Good, I will leave you alone with him, but come and get me if anything happens, I mean anything."

"I will, thank you." Chris watched her leave, then turned back to Ezra. "Ezra? It's Chris, can you hear me?"

"Chris?" Ezra's brow creased, he seemed confused.

"Yeah Ezra, it's me, you gotta hang in there, please?"

"It's......so hard.....Chris......I don't.....know how......much longer........I can......fight."

"You better keep fighting Ezra, that's an order, this unit can't get along without you, no matter what impression we might have given in the past, it's a fact."

"Your just.........saying that........to make me......fight"

"That's right Ezra, but it's also true, none of us want to be without you Ezra, none."

"I will.......believe that.........when I see.......it."

"Well, believe it, all of the guys have been here, they just won't let them see you, you can ask the nurses."

"Ok, Chris......I....." Then he was asleep again, the nightmares returning with it. His body twitched as the nightmare became worse, but he could not stop it.

"Ezra, I am sorry, I wish I could make your nightmares stop." He watched as Ezra's body twitched and groans came from his mouth. He felt helpless and worried, he was beginning to realize how Vin must have felt out there on the side of that mountain, not able to help Ezra. "Come on Ezra, keep fighting."

Ezra was in the front seat of an airplane, it was spiraling towards the side of a mountain, he was hanging on for dear life as he watched the ground rushing up to meet him. He closed his eyes and waited for the impact, waiting for his life to come to an early end, then came the jolt and he became unaware of anything. When he opened his eyes again, he was laying next to a fire, his stomach and head, hurt like nothing he had ever felt before and as he threw up blood, he knew he was going to die. All of this played over and over again in his head as his fever continued to be high, it was down to 105, but it was not dropping any farther. Occasionally he would wake and could feel the nurse applying cold packs to him and wiping him down, he would begin to cough, trying to rid his lungs of the loathsome liquid that filled them, all it did was cause him pain however.

Right now it was late at night, Nurse Riley was on duty and she was doing what she could to make Mr. Standish comfortable, which to her dismay, wasn't much. About an hour ago, he had been very quiet and still, so she had taken the opportunity to give him a shave, hoping that

would make him a little more comfortable. She wiped his handsome face with a cold cloth, removing the sheen of sweat that covered it, she thought he was a very handsome young man, it would be a very big shame if he didn't make it. She heard him groan, then those amazing green

eyes opened. "How do you feel Mr. Standish?"

"Terrible..." Then he began coughing.

"Don't speak then, just lay still and relax."

"Am I.......going...........to live?" He coughed again, pain ripped through him each time.

"Yes, I know you will, you are fighting hard and that's the most important thing."

"I don't..........want to.............die, but..........I can't.........take this..........pain............much longer."

"I am sorry Mr. Standish, but we can't give you anymore pain killers, just try to go back to sleep."

"I don't.............want to..............the night.......mares."

"I'm sorry, I wish there was more that I could do for you Mr. Standish."

"Call me..........Ezra.........please?"

"Certainly, if that's what you'd like." She watched him nod slightly, then he was back asleep. It only took a few minutes for his nightmare to return, her heart broke to think of him going through a nightmare whenever he slept and great physical pain when he was awake.

+ + + + + + +

Chris and the others were at the office, trying to do paperwork and other catch up work, they weren't being very successful, they couldn't stop worrying about Ezra. The team had been put on back up, so they would not get any new cases, unless absolutely necessary. Chris sat in

his office, staring out the window, the stack of papers on his desk, only slightly smaller than when he started.

"Chris, you all right?" Buck asked.

"No Buck, I'm not, Ezra is over there, at the hospital fighting for his life and there's not a damn thing I can do."

"I know how you feel Chris, we all feel the same way, especially Vin."

"How is he? Did you get him home all right?"

"Yeah, but he fussed and argued the whole way, he wanted to stay at the hospital, for Ezra, I told him that no one can see him right now, so he finally gave in, but I am worried, I know he feels guilty."

"I tried to talk to him about it, that he shouldn't blame himself, and that Ezra is very good at hiding things, but he wouldn't listen."

"Maybe Josiah should talk to him."

"That's a good idea Buck, would you send him in?"

"Sure Chris." Buck turned and left, he was worried about both Chris and Vin, they both seemed to be taking this very hard.

"Hey Chris, Buck said you wanted to see me?" Josiah said as he walked into Chris's office, seeing him staring out the window.

"Yeah, I was hoping you would be willing to talk to Vin, he's feeling very guilty about what happened after the plane crashed, but I can't seem to convince him that he was not to blame."

"I'll be happy to Chris, but you shouldn't be feeling guilty either."

"What do you mean? I don't feel guilty."

"Yes you do Chris, you feel guilty for not being there for Ezra in the past, but it's just that, the past, the point is your there for him now."

"Maybe Josiah, but I know that the fact I was not there in the past, has left a scar on his soul, I can't take that away."

"No, but you can help heal it, you are doing that now, by being there for him."

"We'll see Josiah, we'll see, why don't you head over to Vin's and talk to him."

"All right Chris, let me know if anything happens with Ezra."

"I will, good luck Josiah." Chris watched him go, he knew what Josiah had said was true, but he didn't feel better, maybe he would when he knew that Ezra would be all right.

+ + + + + + +

As Chris and Josiah spoke, the chest tube in Ezra got clogged and he began to choke, drowning in his own fluids. Nurse Riley quickly did what she could, but had to run for the doctor. She came back in with the doctor a moment later, he carefully removed the tube and cleared the clog, but he had to use a large syringe to quickly remove the built up fluids from his lungs, before he drown in them. All this caused Ezra to drift into unconsciousness, which was actually a good thing, he felt no pain and had no nightmares there.

Ten minutes after Josiah left to go talk with Vin, Chris's cell phone rang. "Larabee"

"Mr. Larabee, this is doctor Carter, I'm calling to let you know that there was a complication with Mr. Standish a short time ago."

"What! What kind of complication? Is he all right?"

"His chest tube had become clogged, so he started drowning in his own fluids, we acted quickly and got the tube cleared, then I used a syringe to remove the excess fluid, but he's now unconscious."

"Damn, all right, we will be right over and I want to see him."

"All right, you know the drill, get scrubs from the nurse, before going in."

"Right, thanks for calling doctor."

"Your welcome, I will see you shortly."

Chris hung up the phone, he had been staring out the window as he talked, when he turned around, to go tell the others, he saw them standing in the doorway. "What are you boys doing standing there?"

"We heard the cell phone ring, what happened to Ezra?" JD asked.

"There was a complication with his chest tube and he started to drown in his own fluids, they got it taken care of, but Ezra's now unconscious."

"Well, lets go then, we are going to the hospital?" Buck asked.

"Yes, so get your desks cleaned up and get going."

"Chris? Ezra could still die, couldn't he" It was a statement, not a question and the fear in JD's eyes spoke volumes.

"Yes JD, I guess he could, but it's obvious that he's fighting with every ounce of strength he has, so he will make it." Chris said with confidence, but he didn't feel that confidence, if anything else went wrong, he was sure that Ezra would not make it.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra had been relieved by the painless, nightmare free, darkness of unconsciousness, but it was all too short, he felt the pain returning to his body, especially his chest, it felt like an elephant was sitting on it. His nightmares were also returning and he wanted to wake up, anything rather than having the nightmares again, but his eyes wouldn't open, they would not release him from his torment. He felt the nurses gentle touch on him, it was the only source of comfort to him at the

moment and he was grateful for it.

Nurse Riley knew he was not unconscious, but he couldn't seem to open his eyes either, she was doing her best to be gentle, as she replaced the bandage on his abdomen. She then began to wipe him down with a cold cloth again, she was worried about his fever, it was not dropping, at

least not quickly enough, it was still 104. "Ezra, I know your awake, how are you feeling?"

"My chest........feels so...........heavy, my body.........aches"

"I'm sorry Ezra, I will ask the doctor about more pain medication, but I don't know that he can give you more." She truly hated the thought of him in that much pain.

"Much obliged........Ms?"

"Riley, Mrs. Riley, but please call me Abby."

"Abby........I like............that name."

"Thank you Ezra, try to get some more rest, your friends will be here any time now."

"I can..........see them?"

"I think the doctor is letting Mr. Larabee come in and see you, he was apparently rather insistent."

"Well,Mr.............Larabee..........hasn't exactly.........been there..............for me in.......the past."

"Ah, so he feels a bit guilty about that fact?"

Ezra nodded and drifted back to sleep, the nightmares invading his mind a short time later, his body twitching and moans escaped his mouth as the nightmare intensified. He wanted them to go away, but didn't know how to make them go away, he didn't realize that it was his fever that

was causing them.

As Ezra's dream intensified, Chris came into the room, wearing the scrubs and mask. "Nurse, how is he?"

"He was awake briefly, now he's asleep and having the nightmares again, he's in a lot of pain and very weak."

"Can I be alone for a few minutes?"

"Sure, but call me if anything happens."

"I will, thank you."

"Your welcome, I have become very fond of him, he's a special man."

"Yes he is nurse, thank you for taking such good care of him." He waited for her to leave, then turned back to Ezra, he looked so pale and weak, he had never seen Ezra looking so vulnerable. "Hey Ezra, it's Chris, glad to see your hanging in there."

Ezra was finally able to open his eyes, which he was glad for. "Doing my...........best Mr.........Larabee."

"Don't talk Ezra, I just wanted to see you and let you know we are all here, we are all very worried about you Ezra, we don't want to lose you."

"Thank you.........Mr. Larabee."

"Get some rest, you need all you can get." Chris put his hand on Ezra's good shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze, then left the room, to let Ezra sleep. "Nurse, he's asleep again."

"Thank you Mr. Larabee."

"I will be with the others in the waiting area." He then joined the others, the looks on their faces spoke for them. "He's asleep, but he's so pale and weak, he's also in a lot of pain and his nightmares are continuing."

"Yeah, the nightmares probably will continue until his fever comes down." Nathan said.

"Is he going to be all right?" JD asked.

"I hope so JD, but I just don't know." Chris took out his cell phone "I need to call Josiah and let him know what's going on."

"Are you sure that's wise, if Vin hears about this, he will insist on coming here." Buck said.

"I think Josiah can handle Vin right now." Chris smiled.

"Yeah I guess your right about that." Buck replied.

Josiah had been talking to Vin until he was blue in the face, but he couldn't seem to convince him that he was not at fault. "Vin, how many times do I have to tell you, you couldn't have know that Ezra was that injured, since he hid his symptoms from you, you were just doing what your instincts told you was the best thing to do and that was to walk out, because you were sure that you would not be found there, at least not soon enough."

"I'm sorry Josiah, but your wrong, I noticed that Ezra didn't seem well, he was not himself at all and I should have known that something was wrong and that he was hiding it from me."

Josiah sighed, he couldn't argue anymore. "Very well Vin, but please think about what I have said, your no more at fault than Ezra."

"That's not true, I know it's his nature to hide things and keep everything in, so I should have known, Ezra was just doing what he always does."

"Vin, can we please change the subject, I can see that I am not going to convince you."

"No, your not. How is Ezra?"

"About the same, last I knew." At that point his cell phone rang. "Sanchez"

"Josiah, it's Chris, Ezra has suffered a complication, it was not too serious, but I thought you'd want to know."

"What happened Chris?"

"His chest tube clogged and he started drowning in his own fluids, he was unconscious for a bit, but he's sleeping now."

"Thanks Chris, I will be there shortly." Josiah hung up the phone and saw Vin staring at him. "What?"

"What's wrong with Ezra?"

"Nothing now, he had a small problem earlier, but he's fine now."

"What kind of problem?"

"His chest tube got clogged, so he was drowning in his own fluids, that caused him to become unconscious, but he's ok right now and sleeping."

"I want to go to the hospital with you Josiah, please? I am tired of sitting around here, I am bored and my hip doesn't hurt that much anymore."

"Chris would kill me."

"I'll handle Chris, please Josiah?"

"All right, get yourself dressed and we'll go." He knew he would encounter Chris's wrath for this, but he knew that Vin needed to be there.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra was drifting in and out of sleep, the fits of coughing caused him a lot of pain, but he could not prevent them. The fluid in his lungs was making it hard to breath and caused him to cough, it was getting worse. The coughing caused pain in his chest and abdomen, it was almost

unbearable. "Abby?"

"Yes Ezra, what is it?" Nurse Riley could see the pain in his beautiful green eyes, it broke her heart.

"The pain..........it really hurts............when I.......cough." As if to prove his point, he began coughing uncontrollably, the pain grew in his body and a grimace came over his face.

"Ezra, I am going to get the doctor, try to lay still, I am sorry."

She turned to look at him as she went out of the room, the coughing had caused so much pain that he wound up passing out. She quickly left to get the doctor, it had been a long time since she had seen such a severe case of pneumonia and she prayed that Ezra didn't die from it.

As the doctor examined Ezra, Josiah and Vin were arriving at the hospital. The doctor gave Ezra something to ease the coughing, noting that his fever had dropped another degree, that was a good sign. "Continue to monitor him closely nurse Riley, let me know if his coughing gets bad again."

"All right doctor, is he going to be all right?"

"His fever is down another degree, that's a good sign, but he's still got a long way to go."

She went back in and sat down next to Ezra, applying the cool cloth to him again. The doctor went to see Mr. Larabee and the others. "Gentlemen, I have just come from Mr. Standish's room."

"How is he?" Vin asked.

"Well, his fever is down anther degree, which is good, but he's having some severe coughing fits, which is causing him a lot of pain, so it's still too soon to say anything for sure."

"Did you give him something for the cough?" Nathan asked.

"Yes, I am hoping that will help him."

"Thank you for keeping us posted." Chris said.

"Your welcome, you gentlemen should go home and get some rest, there's nothing more you can do today, the medication I gave him for the cough will make him sleep for a while."

"Thanks doc, but I am not going anywhere, when could I see him?" Vin asked.

"Not until later, I want to see how he's doing in a few hours, maybe then."

"I really need to see him, I have not seen him since we were found."

"You were the gentleman that was in the crash with Mr. Standish?"

"Yes, I feel partly responsible for the condition he is in, so I need to see him."

"I understand, I will let you see him as soon as I can."

"Thank you."

Chris was eyeing Josiah, he saw him shrug and mouth, "I tried to convince him," Chris nodded, Vin was as stubborn as Ezra sometimes. They all sat down to wait, wanting to be there when Vin went to see Ezra, knowing how Vin would feel after seeing him.

Ezra slept for the next 6 hours, but his sleep was plagued by the nightmares, and every now and again he would cry out in his sleep. The day nurse was on duty now and she did her best to quiet him, but she didn't seem to have the same effect on him that Abby did, she had somehow formed a special bond with him. It was understandable, Mr. Standish was very handsome and it was difficult to see him suffering the way he was. She saw his eyes fly open and a soft cry escaped his lips, then he started coughing a little, sending a grimace of pain across his handsome features. "It's all right Mr. Standish, it was just a dream, try to calm down." She tried to calm him by running the cool cloth over him, it seemed to work.

"What time......is it?"

"About 10 am, you have been asleep for the last 6 hours, which is good, it's helping you heal and get well."

"Really?...then why........am I in........so much....pain."

"I'm sorry, sometimes the healing process is a painful one, especially with the injuries that you have and the fact that you developed pneumonia, a severe case of it." She smiled at him, trying to reassure him.

"Can I have........something for.....the pain?" He then coughed again, it was a deep, raspy cough and sounded awful.

"I will check with the doctor for you." She didn't think the doctor would give him any more, but she would check.

When she came out of the room, a man was standing there, "Can I see him, please? I haven't seen him since we were rescued."

"You must be Mr. Tanner? The doctor told me that when Mr. Standish woke, you could see him, so come with me and I will get you some scrubs and a mask."

"Thank you nurse." It had become extremely important to Vin to see Ezra, he wanted to know how bad he really was, he knew Chris wasn't telling them everything. The nurse gave him the scrubs, he went in the men's room and changed, washing his hands and face, as she had

instructed, then put on the mask and came back out.

"All right, come with me Mr. Tanner, hopefully he's still awake, he drifts in and out."

"How is he? Really."

"He's improving some, his cough is causing him a lot of pain and the fever in him causes his sleep to be filled with nightmares, but he is slowly improving."

"Thank you nurse, I am glad to hear he's getting better."

The nurse opened the door, "He's right in there, I will leave you alone for a few minutes, then I have to change the bandage on his abdomen."

"Thank you again, nurse."

Vin stepped inside the room and slowly walked towards Ezra, at the moment the curtain that hangs around the bed, blocked his view of Ezra's face, but he saw his arm move, so he was awake. He had been terrified as to how Ezra would look, but as his face came into view, it wasn't

quite as bad as he thought. He was actually flushed from the fever, a sheen of sweat on his face, his eyes were open and the pain in them, tore at Vin's heart, but he didn't look too bad. What did sicken him a little was the look of the chest tube and the large bandage on his stomach, "Hey Ezra, how ya doin pard?"

"Vin?"

"Yeah Ezra, ya hangin in there?"

"Trying........how are you?" He coughed and pain ripped through him again.

Vin moved closer, placing a hand on his shoulder, the good one. "You ok Ezra?"

"Yes, just......a symptom......of this.........damn pneumonia."

"I'm sorry Ezra, I really am."

"For what?"

"Ignoring the fact that you were hurt, I knew you were acting strange and didn't seem yourself, but I chose to ignore it."

"It's not your..........fault Vin...........I thought......Chris said you..........didn't feel.......guilty?"

"Yeah Ezra, but he spoke before he even knew what I was feeling, I told him I wouldn't say anything to you, but I had to."

"Mr. Larabee.......can be a........convincing liar."

"Don't blame him Ezra, he was just doing what he thought was best for you, he wanted you to concentrate on getting well, not worrying about me, I am fine."

"Your not........you feel.......guilty and........I won't have........it, do.......you understand?"

"Yes, I will try not to feel guilty Ezra, if that's what you want." He could see Ezra was getting sleepy.

"It is.........but, it.......should be........for yourself too." Ezra couldn't stay awake any longer, this conversation had drained what energy he had, so he drifted to sleep, in a few moments the nightmares would return.

"Sleep well Ezra, I will see you later." Vin turned and left, then changed back into his own clothes, heading back to the waiting area, he still had a bit of a limp.

"How is he Vin?" Chris asked.

"He looked better than I thought he would, but the pain in his eyes really tore at my heart, he's in so much pain and when he coughs it's even worse."

"Yeah, I know, I am sorry Vin, but none of it is your fault."

"Well, I told Ezra how I feel, even though you said not to, it went well, he just made me promise to try and stop blaming myself, I told him I would try."

"Good, now go home and get some rest." Chris replied.

"Ok Chris, but I will be back later."

"All right, I am going to the office for a bit, I will see you later Vin." Vin went home and Chris went to the office, but Ezra was still there, in the hospital and alone, he had that same feeling of being completely alone, that he had in the mountains, even though Vin had been there

then, just as the nurse was there now. He closed his eyes and tried to let sleep take him, but between the pain, the loneliness, and the nightmares that he knew would come, he couldn't sleep. He felt extremely tired and frustrated, he didn't want to fight anymore, he wanted to just give up, and he felt a wave of depression sweep over him, a tear rolled down his cheek and he sighed, causing him to cough.

Abby noticed that Ezra seemed sad, so she was relieved when he closed his eyes, but then she saw a tear roll down his cheek and she found herself wanting to cry. A moment later, she heard him sigh and begin coughing, "Ezra, I am so sorry that you feel sad, but that emotion can

be common after what you've been through."

"Abby, I have not.....felt this depressed......in a long time." He opened his eyes and looked at her, she had sorrow in her eyes.

Abby took Ezra's hand, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, just being..........here helps." Another tear fell and he was embarrassed about not being able to keep control of his emotions.

"Ezra, try to get some sleep, I will be here if you need anything." She brushed the strand of hair off his forehead, which was still hot from fever, her heart was breaking to see him so sad.

"I will try......but the nightmares......are getting to.........be too much" Ezra closed his eyes, sleep was inevitable, he was just too weak to stay awake for long.

Abby continued to hold his hand as he fell asleep, she sat back down, not letting go, hoping the contact would help him feel less alone. She had seen cases of depression after severe injury and illness, but it never got easier, especially with Ezra, he meant a lot to her.

+ + + + + + +

Vin could not sleep, he tossed and turned, grimacing each time he rolled onto his injured hip, but he knew his pain was nothing compared to the pain that Ezra was in, and it was his fault, at least some of it was, no matter what anyone told him, he knew it was true and perhaps one

day he would forgive himself, but not now. He decided to call the hospital and check on Ezra, "My name is Vin Tanner, I am calling to check on the condition of Ezra Standish." He listened a moment, "All right, thank you." He hung up the phone and began to get dressed, when the nurse said he was asleep, but had been suffering from depression, he knew he had to go see him, no matter what time it was.

Once to the hospital, he went to the nurses station, "I know it's not visiting hours, but I was told that Ezra was suffering from depression, I thought if I could see him, that might help him."

"All right Mr. Tanner, I will get you some scrubs."

"Thank you, I know this will help." He hoped, but he knew he would have to forget about his own guilt while he was in there, that would not help Ezra, he would have to be happy and upbeat. He took the scrubs and put them on, then went into the room, a nurse he hadn't seen before was with Ezra, holding his hand. "Nurse, how is he?"

"I am sorry, you are?" She hadn't seen him before and was suspicious.

"Vin Tanner, we were in the plane together."

"Oh yes, Mr. Tanner, I am sorry, but I hadn't seen you before so I didn't know who you were."

"That's all right, I am glad you are looking out for him, how is he?"

"Well, as with a lot of cases like his, he's beginning to feel depressed and lonely."

"Lonely? He's always liked to be by himself, so that's different."

"You would be surprised Mr. Tanner, he does not like being alone, but he feels like he's not welcome a lot."

"How do you know so much about him?"

"I have become very fond of Ezra, he's a remarkable man, we talk often when he can't sleep."

"Well, I am glad that he has you to talk to, do you mind if I ask your name?"

"Not at all, my name is Abby Riley, Mrs. Abby Riley."

"Pleased to meet you Mrs. Riley, will you please call me Vin?"

"Of course, call me Abby, Ezra does."

"Can I see him?"

"Certainly, I will leave you alone with him for a bit, just let me know if anything happens."

"I will thank you." He watched her go, she was a special lady, her husband was very lucky. He sat in the chair that she had been occupying, apparently when she let go of Ezra's hand, it caused him to wake, because Ezra was now looking at him, "Hey there Ezra, how ya doin?" He tried to sound up beat.

"Just great.......I am so.......tired Vin.......tired of fighting.......just plan......tired." He coughed again, sending another grimace of pain across his face.

"Take it easy Ezra, don't talk, I thought I would keep you company, the nurse said you were feeling a bit lonely."

"Indeed, well.......that was.....not a lie." Right now Ezra couldn't lie to save his life, it was a good thing he didn't have an undercover assignment right now. He slowly drifted to sleep, Vin's presence did seem to help the feeling of loneliness.

Ezra woke in the night as a sharp pain went through his abdomen, he moaned softly and looked around the dark room. Vin was asleep in the chair, he didn't see Abby anywhere, but he needed her, the pain was bad and felt different than before. He slowly reached for the call button

and tried to wake Vin, "Vin, wake up." His voice was weak and the best he could do was a whisper, so Vin did not wake. He tried again, "Vin, wake up."

"Hmmmm, Ezra?"

"Vin, I need......the nurse."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"My abdomen....really hurts....bad."

"Ok, I'll get someone." He no sooner stood, when Abby rushed in.

"What's wrong?"

"Ezra said his abdomen really hurts bad."

"Let me take a look." Abby stepped past Vin and carefully lifted the bandage from Ezra's abdomen, there was blood on it. "Oh no, Mr. Tanner, please go out to the nurses station and tell the nurse we need a doctor in here, immediately."

"What's wrong?" Vin asked.

"He's torn his incision open, now please go."

"I'm gone, hang in there Ezra."

"Abby, how?.......I didn't.......move."

"It's all right Ezra, it could have been coming lose for a while and just finally gave." She carefully removed the bandage the rest of the way, then took a new, sterile cloth and began to soak up the blood that was seeping out of the incision. Ezra did not need this, he was just

starting to improve, if he lost much blood, it would weaken him again.

"Abby, I can't.....take any......more, please?"

Abby wanted to cry as she looked into his pain filled, tired, defeated eyes. "I'm sorry Ezra, I wish I could do the fighting for you, but know I am here and I will do everything I can to help you."

"You are making.......this easier......thank you.....Abby."

"Your welcome Ezra, it is my job, but you have come to mean a lot to me." She laid the cloth gently over the incision, so it would absorb the blood, then moved to the cabinet and took out the supplies the doctor would need to stitch the incision back up. She also got a vial of

medicine, a local anisette so Ezra would not feel the pain. "Stay calm Ezra, the doctor will be here any moment and he will get you fixed up."

"I don't want......to die.....Abby, but......I can't fight.....anymore." The pain in his abdomen was intense, as bad as it had been when he was still on the mountain.

"Please Ezra, don't talk like that, you will be fine." She could see the pain and fear in his eyes, she wanted to take that away more than anything.

"Abby?"

"Yes Ezra?"

"Hold my hand."

"Certainly Ezra." She took his hand and gently squeezed it, she just wished she could do more.

Then the doctor came in, he examined Ezra and then asked him a question. "Are you having a lot of pain, Mr. Standish?"

"Yes"

"Nurse Riley, I want a laparotomy done, before we stitch him back up, just to make sure that there isn't anything torn loose inside, he shouldn't have that much pain from this."

"All right doctor, but what about the blood loss? he is already very weak."

"I will arrange for him to receive a pint once he's back, make this an emergency order."

"Yes doctor." She picked up the phone and called down to make the arrangements, the doctor left the room, he had things to prepare, in case they needed to go back in.

The doctor ran into Vin outside the room, "Doctor, how is he?"

"I am having a laparotomy done, before we stitch the incision back up, just to be sure that there was nothing torn loose inside."

"Will he be all right?"

"That depends on the test results, we are going to have to give him some blood."

"Please keep me posted."

"I will Mr. Tanner, try not to worry."

"Thank you." Vin sat down in the waiting area, then took out his cell phone, he needed to call Chris. It took several minutes for Chris to answer, because it was the middle of the night and he was asleep, "Chris, it's Vin, I was here at the hospital, visiting Ezra, because the

nurse said he had been suffering from depression, but his incision on his stomach tore open, they are doing some kind of test to see if anything was torn inside."

"How did this happen Vin?"

"I don't know, one minute he was sleeping peacefully, the next he was in terrible pain and calling to me."

"I will be right there, call me if anything happens before I get there."

"All right Chris."

Vin sat waiting, he was worried, how much more could Ezra take, he had

been fighting for his life for so long now, it seemed like forever, it had been a week since the plane went down and Ezra was still hanging on by a thread. He prayed nothing was wrong inside Ezra, he didn't know if Ezra would survive another surgery.

+ + + + + + +

As the orderly's were taking Ezra down for the laparotomy, he lost consciousness, the pain and blood loss had taken it's toll and he couldn't fight the darkness any longer. The next thing he was aware of was a needle being put in his arm, he opened his eyes to see Abby

inserting a needle that would give him a pint of blood. "Abby"

"Shhhh Ezra, save your strength, everything is all right."

"What happened?"

"You tore the incision on your abdomen, but there is also a tear in the incision in your stomach too, so the doctor is going to have to go in and repair that, you just relax and let the anesthesia take effect, it will all be over when you wake up again."

"I'm scared."

"I know and I am sorry, just don't give up on me."

"I'll try" Then he was out, the darkness took him once again and he not aware of anything, including Abby's gentle touch on his forehead.

"I'm praying for you Ezra." Abby said, as the orderly's came to take him to the OR, she hoped she would see him again.

By the time the others arrived at the hospital, Ezra's surgery was half over, it wasn't taking long for the damage to be repaired, he did have to be given another pint of blood, there had been some internal bleeding. The doctor was certain that all of this was caused by Mr.

Standish's coughing, but there wasn't much they could do, but give him medication to quiet the cough, until the pneumonia was gone.

Buck was the last to arrive at the hospital, he had been with a woman. He sat down next to Chris, "What's happening Chris?"

"Ezra's in surgery, his incisions tore open, they figure it was from all the coughing he was doing."

"Will he be all right?"

"Don't know, but I hope so, I don't think he can take much more, neither can Vin."

"He's still feeling guilty?"

"Yes, he was with Ezra when this latest problem occurred, so he is very worried."

"He was with him?"

"Yeah, Vin apparently couldn't sleep, so he called the hospital to check on Ezra, the nurse said he was suffering from depression and loneliness, so he came down to visit, hoping it would help."

"Depression and loneliness, I've never known Ezra to be lonely."

"The nurse said it's a problem that a lot of patients experience after a trauma like Ezra's, but she also said that she and Ezra talk, when he can't sleep, and he is lonely a lot, he feels out of the loop a lot."

"Damn, I thought we were doing a good job of including him and letting him know that he is a friend and that we care about him."

"Me too Buck, but apparently not, and it's my fault."

"No it's not Chris, we are all at fault, I seldom ask him to join us when JD and I go out."

"Once Ezra is well, we have to change that, he's lying in there feeling lonely and depressed, because of us."

They all fell silent, just waiting for the doctor to appear and tell them how Ezra was doing. It was not a long wait, when the doctor appeared, Vin was the first to stand and approach him, "How is he?"

"Gentlemen, I have repaired the damage, he's been given another pint of blood, but he's extremely weak again, between this latest set back and the pneumonia, his body has been through a lot of trauma and it's having a hard time fighting back. Mr. Standish is listed in critical condition

right now, he's unconscious, his vitals are again unstable, and his fever has gone back up a few degrees, we have to hope he doesn't develop an infection in the incisions."

"Is he going to be all right?" Chris asked, he felt very dejected and defeated, it seemed like they were fighting just as hard as Ezra.

"Too soon to tell, most of it is up to him, he has to fight and he's already been doing that for some time, it will get harder for him to want to fight, he is very tired and weak emotionally, the nurse told me he was experiencing depression and loneliness, that's not a good sign

for his mental state."

"What can we do?" Vin asked.

"Not much right now, I will make sure the nurse tells him you are all here, when he wakes, that will help, but I can't let anyone see him, it's too dangerous right now, we will do everything we can for him, the fact that he seems to have formed a bond with nurse Riley will help, she will be able to give him emotional support."

"Thank you doctor and thank nurse Riley too." Chris said.

"I will, now I must check on Mr. Standish, now that he is back in the isolation ward in the ICU." He turned and left, he could see the worry and pain in those men's eyes, Mr. Standish had some very good friends there.

+ + + + + + +

Abby was getting Ezra settled comfortably back in his bed, he was so pale and his breathing so shallow. This was getting hard for her, she usually had no problem dealing with patients this critically ill, but Ezra had managed to slip into her heart and she cared deeply for him,

she had been telling her husband about him and he really wanted to meet the young man, he could tell that the man was special to her.

She checked all the tubes that were in Ezra, making sure they were secure, then checked the monitors, to make sure they were hooked up properly, finally she began applying cold packs to him and wiping him down with the cold cloth. She would have to redress the incision on his

abdomen every few hours, it had to be kept completely clean and free of germs. It was obvious just by looking at Ezra's body, that he was strong and physically fit, but his soul was not, he had a lot of pain and loneliness in his life, that was going to make it hard for him to keep fighting, "Come on Ezra, you have to fight, for me? Please?" She would be heartbroken if he did not survive, it would be a tremendous loss to this world, to have such a special person leave it. The fact that he was a Federal Agent and he risked his life on a day to day basis, just to keep the American public safe, told her how special he was, but their conversations had told her much more and she couldn't understand how he could be so alone, any woman would be lucky to have

him, including herself, but she loved her husband and would never think of doing anything to change that. She hoped that they would be friends and once he was out of the hospital, they would continue their friendship, she knew that she would be inviting him to come to her house

and meet her husband. She sat down in the chair and took Ezra's hand, there wasn't a lot she could do for him, but she would make sure he knew she was there.

It was another 24 hours before Ezra began to come around and then he felt incredibly weak and sore, the depression and loneliness that he felt before was still there, having settled in and made itself at home. He slowly opened his eyes, looking around he saw that he was completely

alone, that was strange, at this time of night Abby was usually there, they never left him alone. He slowly drifted back to sleep, the feeling of loneliness growing stronger, with the room completely empty.

Abby came back into the room, after going to the ladies room, she noticed that Ezra had shifted slightly and wondered if he had wakened, she hoped not, the feelings of loneliness he felt would get even worse if he woke to an empty room. She got a fresh cloth and soaked it in the

cool water, then began wiping him down again, the recent events had caused his fever to go back up, which had her very worried. She watched his handsome face, as he slept, she could see the grimaces and twitches, as he continued to experience the nightmares. She took the opportunity

to wash his hair and give him a shave, she knew how important it was to him to be clean shaven and she hoped it would make him feel better when he woke.

A few hours later, Ezra began to wake again, this time he felt Abby's hand, holding his. He opened his eyes and looked at her, she had concern on her face, which for her age, was quite beautiful and youthful, he admired her strength, to deal with people like him all night every night, but he seemed to be her special project right now.

Abby could see Ezra's mind working, through his eyes, she wondered what he was thinking about. "Ezra, how are you feeling?"

"Weak and.......sore, the......loneliness.......feels stronger."

"I am sorry Ezra, you woke earlier, when I stepped out for a moment, didn't you?"

"Yes, I...felt...so alone."

"Oh Ezra, I am sorry, I had to step out."

"I under....stand Abby, don't........blame your.....self."

"I just wish I could take your loneliness away, it must be awful to feel that way."

"It is.....but I.....am used to......it."

"I'm sorry for that too, someone as wonderful as you should not feel lonely."

"Thank you......Abby" Then he drifted back to sleep again, waiting for the nightmares to come, they had changed slightly, they were still about the plane crash, but instead of Vin being there with him, he was completely alone.

Abby checked his vitals and took his temperature, his vitals were still somewhat unstable and his temperature seemed to be hovering around 105. She prayed that his fever would begin to come down, if it stayed that high for too long, it would cause damage to his brain, she did not want that, Ezra was extremely intelligent, so it would be a tragedy.

+ + + + + + +

During those 24 hours that Ezra was unconscious, the other men came and went from the hospital, stopping by to check his condition, leaving heavy hearted as they were told there was no change. They went to the office and did paperwork, but it was a struggle, their minds were not on their work, they found themselves gathered around the coffee pot a lot, talking about Ezra. Vin's guilt began to get worse, as he feared Ezra would die, he spent every night praying for Ezra to live and be all right, he had lost a lot of sleep over the last week and he saw no end in sight, it seemed that whenever Ezra started to get better, something would happen to set him back.

Chris watched as Vin's guilt grew, but he didn't know what to do, he had talked to him, Josiah had talked to him, hell, even Ezra had talked to him, none of it worked. He just hoped that Vin would get over it, if Ezra died, he was afraid that Vin would become useless, so he too prayed that Ezra would live, both for Ezra and Vin's sakes. "Vin, go home"

"I don't want to go home Chris"

"Your of no use here, so go home, try to get some sleep."

"I can't, every time I close my eyes, I see Ezra, doubled over in pain and vomiting blood, I can't take that Chris."

"Vin, perhaps you should see a doctor about some sedatives or something, you can't go on like this."

"Why, Ezra is, what I am going through is nothing compared to what he's going through."

"Vin, stop it, that's an order, you can't blame yourself for everything."

"No, but I am to blame for some of it, and if not for me, he would have been treated much sooner and perhaps he wouldn't be going through all this."

"And perhaps he would, Vin that's something you don't know."

Vin sighed, "All right Chris, I will go home, at least I won't have you pestering me there." He attempted a smile, but it wasn't convincing.

"Goodnight Vin"

"Goodnight Chris"

A few hours before sunrise, Ezra's fever broke and it dropped slowly to 101, which was still a little high, but no where near as bad as 105. Abby felt relief flood her body, her prayers coming true, now all Ezra had to do was get his strength back and get over his pneumonia, then he

could go home. He would need some rehabilitation for his shoulder and to strengthen his muscles again, but luckily he hadn't been down and out for too long, so he still had most of his muscles in tact. She was happy to see that his nightmares seemed to disappear with his fever, he slept peacefully now, she hoped his loneliness would go away too. She smiled brightly when Ezra's eyes fluttered open, to reveal the sparkling gems that were his eyes, they still had sadness and pain in them, but they seemed to have more life in them. "Hi Ezra, you feeling better?"

"Some,yes....why?" He couldn't help noticing the brilliant smile that lit her face, it made her look like an angel.

"Your fever has finally broken, it's down to 101, so you should be feeling better."

"I have...you to....thank"

"No Ezra, you did all the fighting, you didn't give up."

"That was.....because of you.....you gave me...the strength...to fight."

Abby began to cry, no one had ever said that to her before, none of the hundreds of patients she had dealt with over her long nursing career, had ever said anything like that to her. "Ezra, that is so sweet, but I can't take the credit, it belongs to you."

Ezra reached out and took her hand, "You may not....think so....but I know....in my heart....that it was....you, Abby."

"Please Ezra, I am a married woman and your making me wish I wasn't."

"I'm sorry.....this isn't....about love....at least...not that...kind of love." He squeezed her hand as tears ran down her cheeks.

"I have to step out for a moment, are you all right?"

"Yes...I didn't mean...to upset...you."

"Oh Ezra, you didn't upset me, your gratitude is overwhelming and I am having trouble handling this."

"No one...else has...ever told you...this?"

"No Ezra, they haven't, now stop talking, you still have pneumonia and you need rest, or you won't get better."

"Yes ma'am" Ezra tried to smile, but he was too weak and sore, he felt bad that he had made her cry, that was not his intention.

"I will be right back Ezra, go back to sleep." Before she could leave the room, Ezra was asleep again, she went out and dried her tears, what Ezra had said to her was the sweetest thing she had ever heard.

+ + + + + + +

It was 6 am when Chris's cell phone rang, he knew it had to be Ezra's doctor, anyone else would have used his home number, but he only gave the doctor the cell phone number, because he always had it with him. "Larabee"

"Mr. Larabee, this is doctor Carter, I wanted to call and give you some good news."

"What? Is Ezra improving?"

"Somewhat, yes, his fever has finally broken, it's down to 101, so not normal yet, but much better than 105, he's still extremely weak and sore, but this is a good sign."

"Thank you doctor, we have a meeting this morning, but we will be there right after."

"All right, he's still asleep anyway, he drifts in and out still."

"Thanks again." Chris finally had some hope, he would be more than happy to pass this information on, at the meeting, he knew Vin would be especially relieved. He got up, showered, dressed, had breakfast, and headed for the office, he finally had a reason to smile. He sat in the

conference room, waiting for the others, the smile still on his face, the first to enter was Nathan. "Good morning Nathan."

Nathan couldn't help notice Chris's good mood, "Good morning Chris, why the good mood?"

He saw Josiah, Buck, JD, and Vin all come in together, "Now that your all here, I will answer Nathan's question"

"What question was that Chris?" Buck asked, also noticing Chris's good mood.

"About my good mood, I received a call from Ezra's doctor this morning, his fever has broken and is down to 101."

"Chris, that's great news." JD blurted.

"Now he's still not out of the woods, but it's a very good sign." Chris noted the reserved reaction by Vin, he still wasn't getting his hopes up, but that was all right, when they went to the hospital later, he would make sure that Vin got to go see him. "After the meeting, we will

go to the hospital and check on him"

"This is great, I know it doesn't mean that he's ok, not yet, but it's still great news." Nathan knew that Ezra's fever breaking was a positive thing, but he also knew that he still had a long way to go.

"Yeah, maybe he will be well enough by Thanksgiving, that he can join in the festivities." JD said.

"Maybe JD, god willing, it would truly give us something to be thankful for." Chris smiled, he hoped that Ezra would be with them for the Thanksgiving feast they had planned. The meeting got underway, lasting a couple of hours, everyone was anxious to get it over with, but it was

their job, so they would be patient, as soon as it was over, they headed for the hospital, to see how Ezra was.

As soon as Chris and the others arrived at the hospital, Vin went to the nurses station and asked if he could see Ezra. The nurse gave him scrubs and when he was ready, went into the isolation ward, where Ezra was. He saw that Ezra's eyes were closed, but they opened as soon as he was aware that someone was in the room. "Hey pard, how ya doin?" He could see there was still pain in his eyes.

"Better"

"Good, you'll be out of here in no time."

"I certainly....hope so." He coughed a little, causing pain in his abdomen.

"Don't talk Ezra, we don't want you tearing your incision again, I just wanted to see how you were and let you know that all the others are here too." He noticed something else in Ezra's eyes, as they talked, it was loneliness and sadness, it hurt him to see it there. "You still feeling

depressed Ezra?"

"Yes, the doctor....tells me it's common....but it can be hard .....to get rid of.....especially if your alone."

"Your not alone Ezra, we are all here and we aren't going anywhere."

"Sure Vin"

"Ezra, I don't like the way your so down, it worries me."

"Don't worry....Vin, I will....be fine in time." He coughed again.

"I'm going to go now, you should be getting rest and not talking, remember Ezra we are here for you and will still be here when you get out."

"All right Vin." He didn't believe it for a minute, he knew once he was all right and out of the hospital, it would be the same as before, they wouldn't include him in anything. He closed his eyes as a wave of loneliness and sorrow washed over him, luckily Vin had turned to leave

and didn't see the tear that rolled down his cheek. He really hated being this down, he was used to the loneliness, but not the depression and he couldn't control his emotions, finally he drifted to sleep.

Vin left the room, he felt a weight on him, he knew it was because of the emotional state that Ezra was in, and that most of it was his fault as well as the others. He gave the scrubs back to the nurse and went to the waiting area to join the others.

"How is he Vin?" Chris asked.

"Physically he seems better, but if anything his loneliness and depression were worse."

"Worse?"

"Yes, I tried telling him that we were all here for him and that we still would be when he got out, but he didn't believe me, he pretended too, but I could tell."

"Damn, we really haven't helped him the way we should, we knew he wasn't comfortable opening up to people, then when he finally did, we accepted him, then began to ignore him, that was a big mistake."

"Yeah, now he thinks we don't like who he is, he let us see the real Ezra and we began to ignore him, god Chris, what he must think."

"I know, if anything we like the real Ezra much better, but we took him for granted."

"We have to do something."

"We will, starting with Thanksgiving, if he can't be released from the hospital by then, we will bring it to him."

"Good idea Chris, count me in."

The others had been listening to the conversation, they too agreed, "Count us in too Chris."

"Good, we have to make alternate plans, in case Ezra's not out of here, I will speak to his doctor." And so the plans began, they would make every effort to include Ezra in everything, from now on.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra's sleep was restless again, not because of nightmares this time, but because of the emotions that were racing through his mind, flooding it. He was unaccustomed to such strong emotions, he was always so good at hiding them, that it had become habit, but now he could not control them and it scared him, what if he couldn't do his job anymore? He knew, to be a good undercover agent, he had to be able to hide and control his emotions, what if he never got that ability back? What would he do? His job was his life. He finally fell into a dreamless sleep, a healing sleep, his body was recovering, but his mind and spirit weren't.

The six men spent the day at the hospital, they took turns going in to see Ezra for a few minutes, none of them liked the mood Ezra seemed to be in, his depression and loneliness seemed to be deep rooted and they didn't know what to do to help him. Several of them had actually seen

Ezra shed tears, but he didn't know they had seen him, Chris decided to ask the nurse about it. "Nurse Riley, I understand that you have developed a bond with Ezra, what can we do about his loneliness and depression? It has me very worried."

"I understand Mr. Larabee."

"Chris, please."

"All right, Chris, I understand your concern, I share it, but traumatic injuries such as Ezra's can bring on this condition, it just takes time and a lot of support, which I intend to give him."

"You've already been doing that Nurse Riley."

"Please call me Abby, I have done my best, it is my job, but you are right, Ezra occupies a special place in my heart and I would do anything for him."

"We are planning a special Thanksgiving for him, his doctor has given us permission to do it here, if he's not out in time, would you please join us?"

"I would be happy to, can I bring my husband?"

"By all means, we would love to meet him."

"Thank you, he is quite anxious to meet Ezra, I have told him all about him"

"All right, then we will let you know the final plans, when we know if he will still be in here or not."

"Very well, I hope he won't be"

"Me too"

+ + + + + + +

Ezra hated the fact that right now, he was unable to control his emotions, he tried to hide them, but couldn't. He hoped none of the others had seen his tears, but he was pretty sure some of them had, especially JD, the poor boy was ready to cry himself. He had tried to put on a good front for JD, so he wouldn't see his depression and loneliness, but he knew he hadn't succeeded. Vin had actually been the hardest to deal with, he could see the guilt in his eyes and it just

made him feel worse.

Abby came in and began to check his vitals, "You have some special friends Ezra, I hope you know that?"

"I don't know Abby, they only seem to show their concern and support when I am ill or injured, otherwise they ignore me." Ezra was glad that he could breath and speak easier now, but he still had pain and his chest felt heavy.

"Ezra, please don't feel that way, I have seen the way they care, they may not show it every day, but they do."

"I believe you Abby, but I also know what my own eyes and ears have heard and seen, they do a lot of things together, away from work, but they never ask me to join them."

"Maybe they think you don't want to join them."

"Why would they think that? I have never been asked, so I could never turn them down."

"I don't know Ezra, but I do know that they love you."

Tears welled in Ezra's eyes again, he wanted to believe what Abby told him, but he had yet to see it for himself. "I don't know what to believe, I feel so confused right now."

"That's understandable Ezra, you have been through a lot of trauma, both physically and mentally."

"I am going to try and sleep now, thank you for your support Abby, I have no doubt about how you feel towards me." His eyes began to drift shut, he was still very weak and it didn't take much to tire him.

"Sleep well Ezra, I do love you in my own special way." She kissed his forehead, then went back to checking his vitals.

Ezra's physical condition slowly improved, but his strength and emotional state were weak and unresponsive, the other members of the Seven were very worried about his emotional state, they had never seen Ezra so down. They often saw a tear running down his cheek and saw the

sadness in his eyes, but they didn't know what to do for him. Finally Thanksgiving was arriving, it would be in 2 days, the doctor had said that Ezra could leave the hospital, his incisions were almost healed and his pneumonia was gone, but he wanted him to use a wheelchair, he was

still too weak to be walking around and his abdomen and shoulder were still very tender and weakened.

Chris was worried about Ezra's mental state, he knew how much Ezra prided himself on being able to hide his emotions, but right now they were out of control and Ezra couldn't fight them, much less hide them, he knew that wasn't helping his state of mind either, he just hoped that

the Thanksgiving party would help. He and the others had been working hard to make this Thanksgiving special for Ezra and they all hoped it would help him, they tried to hide their concern for him, knowing that it would upset him. He had been pleased when Abby had told them that she would do the cooking and they would help her any way they could.

+ + + + + + +

Ezra tried so hard to hide the depression and loneliness he felt, from the others, but he couldn't and it frustrated him. He knew they had seen his tears, he was not used to crying, his mother had always taught him that it was a sign of weakness, so had not cried, even when he

wanted to, now however, he couldn't control it. He saw Abby come in, she was smiling at him, but he was unable to return the smile.

"Ezra, how are you feeling?"

"I feel fine physically, a bit weak and I seem to tire easily."

"You will be that way for a while, we have to get you started on rehabilitation, to strengthen your muscles, especially in your shoulder and abdomen."

"When can I go home?"

"The doctor is going to release you tomorrow, but he is sending me with you and you will have to use a wheelchair for a while"

"Ok, it will be nice to have you around, I know I can be myself with you." Normally he would have protested the use of a wheelchair, but right now, he just didn't care.

"Ezra, you can be yourself with anyone, I happen to think the real you is pretty amazing Ezra, you should show it more often."

"I can't afford to in my line of work, besides if you let people in, they will only wind up hurting you."

"That's not true Ezra, not everyone is like that."

"You are the first person that I have felt comfortable enough to let in and I trust you enough to know you wouldn't hurt me."

"What about you co-workers, they would never hurt you."

"They have, maybe not intentionally, but they have."

"I'm sorry Ezra, I am sure it wasn't intentional."

"Perhaps not, but it didn't hurt any less"

"No, I am sure it didn't, now I need to go and get your paperwork ready, for your release tomorrow, your insurance will cover all costs, including my in home care."

"Thank you Abby, you have been wonderful."

"Well, I just wish all my patients were as wonderful as you." She smiled and left the room, she knew his depression had not lessened, but she didn't know how to help him, other than be there for him every step of the way. She hoped that the Thanksgiving celebration would help him,

he needed as many friends around him as possible and a fun, upbeat environment.

Ezra drifted to sleep, he just knew it would be another holiday spent alone, except perhaps Abby would be there, but otherwise he would be alone, it was no different than any other holiday. He had been alone for most holidays, his whole life and they had become nothing special to

him, just another day, except his loneliness was worse, but now it was even worse than ever, with his emotions out of control. He felt the tears in his eyes again and inwardly cursed himself for being so weak and out of control. His sleep became dreamless and restful, his body continuing to heal.

It was finally time for Ezra to go home, it had been 3 long weeks and Ezra was pleased to be going home, but that feeling couldn't penetrate the depression he felt, it seemed to have sunk in deeper. Abby had helped him dress, his right arm was almost useless, his shoulder was still mending and his abdomen was still tender, the muscles in it had been weakened by the injury and subsequent surgeries. Right now he was sitting in a wheelchair, next to the bed he had spent 3 of the longest weeks of his life in. Abby had gone to take his release papers to the clerk, then would be back to take him home. Chris was the one taking him home, there would be plenty of room in the back of the truck for the wheelchair and Ezra would be comfortable in the large cab, plus his

truck was 4 wheel drive and it was snowing. He looked up as Chris walked into the room.

"Hey Ezra, you about ready to go?"

"Yes Mr. Larabee, I'm just waiting for Abby to come back."

"Were did she go?"

"She took my release papers to the clerk."

"Oh, Ok, how are you feeling?"

"My shoulder hurts, it wasn't easy to get dressed, so it caused it some pain."

"I'm sorry Ezra, you get going on your rehab and it will be back to normal in no time." Chris was doing his best to cheer Ezra up, but he knew it wasn't working, he hoped the festivities tomorrow would change that.

"I will survive Mr. Larabee, I wanted to thank you for taking me home."

"There's no need Ezra, I am happy to do it, I am also glad that Abby will be around to help you, I was worried about you being alone."

"That's a new one, you never have been before....I'm sorry Chris, I didn't mean that." He regretted the words as they came out, he couldn't prevent it, but he did mean it.

"Yes you did, but that's all right, I deserved that, I haven't paid much attention to you and I am sorry, it wasn't on purpose, but I know that doesn't make it hurt any less, all I can do is say I am sorry and try to make it up to you." He saw the tears welling up in Ezra's eyes, he turned away so he wouldn't feel embarrassed, "Where is Abby?"

"She will be here any minute, to be sure." Ezra fought to keep the tears from falling, he was touched by what Chris said, but it would remain to be seen as to whether or not things changed.

When Abby returned, they all headed down to the parking garage, Chris was pushing Ezra's wheelchair, while Abby carried Ezra's belongings. They both got Ezra into Chris's truck, "You all right Ezra?" Abby asked.

"Yes I am fine, thank you Abby."

"All right, I will be following behind in my car."

"All right, I can't thank you enough Abby." He tried to smile, but it didn't reach his green eyes.

"Sure Ezra, we'll have you home in no time." She saw that Chris had the wheelchair securely in the back, "I'll see you when we get there Ezra."

"All right." He watched Chris get in behind the wheel.

"You all set Ezra? you comfortable enough?"

"Yes Mr. Larabee, I am fine." He had a pillow behind his shoulder and another one on his abdomen, to pad it from the seat belt.

"Lets go then, I am sure you'll be happy to get home."

"Indeed"

When they got to Ezra's Townhouse, Abby took his belongings and a bag of her own, into the house, while Chris got the wheelchair out of the back and helped Ezra into it. Abby hid the fact that the other men that Ezra worked with were inside waiting to surprise him. They had spent the day decorating the house, at first they were going to do just Thanksgiving decorations, but realized that Ezra would not be in shape to put up Christmas decorations, so they had done those instead.

Chris wheeled Ezra up to the house, smiling all the way, knowing what awaited Ezra inside, the problem was, he felt it was going to make him cry, with the fragile state he was in, but it needed to be done. "Ok Ezra, your finally home."

"Indeed, I am very glad to be, I am quite tired."

"Well, you can go to sleep in your own bed tonight."

"I have missed the comfort of my feather bed."

Chris opened the door and pushed him in, the others all yelled "Surprise" Chris noticed Ezra flinch, but wasn't sure what that meant, standing behind him, he could not see his face.

"Well, I see you gentlemen have been busy." Ezra was overwhelmed, he was sure that there would be no one waiting for him here, he was going to be ok, so he figured the others would go back to forgetting about him, but they hadn't. He felt the tears coming again, he was really

beginning to hate not being able to control his emotions.

The six men that were Ezra's friends stayed with him for a while, then left to go home, they could see Ezra was tired. Abby was going to take Ezra to his room, so he could get some rest, but Ezra stopped her, "I don't want to go to bed yet, please?"

"I can see your tired Ezra, you need your rest."

"I know, but I have been in a bed for the last 3 weeks, I want to sit here in front of the fire and watch the snow fall for a while."

"All right Ezra, I am going to run to the store real quick, you don't have much food in the house."

"All right Abby, I'm not going anywhere."

While Abby was at the store, Ezra sat in front of the fire, gazing out at the gentle snowfall, it was coming down fairly heavy, but it fell in gentle, languid movement. He was transfixed, watching each flake as it fell was somehow soothing and brought a kind of tranquility to his

soul. He felt the warmth of the fire, it warmed him and made him feel comfortable, before he knew it, he was asleep in his wheelchair.

Abby walked into Ezra's house with both arms full of groceries, she set them down on the counter and shook the snow off of her, she looked at Ezra, at first he appeared to be looking out the window, but on closer scrutiny, she realized he was asleep. Her heart went out to him, he was

so weak and so lonely, she hated to see him like this and was determined to change it all. She quietly put the groceries away, then moved over to Ezra, taking the handles of the wheelchair and pushing him towards his bedroom. Once she had him in the bedroom, she gently removed his

shoes, then pulled the covers of his bed down, finally she did the one thing she didn't want to do, she woke him, so she could get him into the bed, "I'm sorry Ezra, but I need you to wake up, so I can get you into the bed."

"Abby?" Ezra was groggy.

"Yes Ezra, just help me get you from the chair to the bed."

"All right" He lifted out of the chair, Abby supported him, then he sat down on the bed, feeling Abby turn him and lay his legs on the bed, then he laid back as she covered him with the comforter. His feather bed felt so good, "Thank you Abby." He was then back to sleep again quickly.

"Your welcome Ezra." She said as he fell back to sleep, she bent and kissed his forehead, she would make him some warm soup, for when he woke again.

Ezra's sleep was deep and healing, at least physically, but he was remembering his dreams of the crash, when Vin was not there and he was alone, it only made his loneliness worse, the decorations that his compatriots had put up were beautiful, but they too added to his loneliness, he would never say so. He finally fell into a dreamless sleep, that lasted for several hours, when he woke again, it was about 6 pm and was dark. He heard some Christmas music playing, it was nice to hear, knowing that Abby was there, he wanted to get up, but knew he couldn't on his own. "Abby?" He said as loud as he could, a moment later she came in.

"What is it Ezra? Are you all right?"

"Yes, I just wanted to get up, can you help me into the chair?"

"Certainly Ezra, I have made some hot chicken soup, would you like some?"

"That sounds wonderful Abby, you are too good to me."

"It's about time someone was." She got him into the wheelchair, then took him out to the dining table, giving the hot bowl of soup, which she watched him eat with his left hand, easily. "Are you ambidextrous Ezra?"

"Yes, actually I am."

"That's amazing, you don't see that very much."

"It's a gift." He ate the soup, enjoying ever delectable drop, Abby was an amazing cook.

Ezra and Abby spent the evening in front of the fire, talking about their lives and enjoying each others company. Ezra had no notion of what was to come tomorrow, it would be a special occasion and she couldn't wait to see the look on his face, when they arrived at Chris's house for

Thanksgiving dinner. She had been by his house yesterday, to make sure that he had all the necessary food for the feast and that the 2 20 pound turkeys were thawed and ready for baking.

Ezra was enjoying the conversation with Abby, the warmth of the fire and the gently falling snow, outside, gave him the most peace and relaxation that he had felt in a long time, it didn't take long for him to become tired again, so Abby helped him back to bed, where he slept through the night.

Abby slept in the guest room, she missed her husband, but it wouldn't be for long and she would see him at the Thanksgiving dinner at Chris's. When she got up in the morning, she looked in on Ezra, he was still asleep, he looked so young and vulnerable when he was asleep. She

could tell he was beginning to stir though, so she went and got a bath ready for him, making sure the water wasn't too hot, then started a pot of coffee.

Ezra slowly opened his eyes, he still had a lot of pain in his body, he needed to take some of the pain medication the doctor had prescribed for him. He carefully sat up, not using his right arm, which still didn't work very well and it hurt a lot. He reached for the bottle of pills on

the night stand, but they fell on the floor, he was about to try and get out of bed, when Abby came in. "Abby, my pain pills fell on the floor."

"I will get them for you." She could see pain in his eyes, she reached down and picked up the bottle, then took 2 pills out and handed them to Ezra, then gave him the cup of coffee she was holding, "I made some coffee for you and I have a nice bath prepared."

"Thank you Abby, a bath sounds very nice." He took the pills, swallowing them with a mouthful of coffee, then slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Abby moved to help him stand, she began to move him toward the wheelchair, but Ezra shook his head, "Ezra, get into the chair, before you fall down."

"I want to walk to the bathroom." He began to move in that direction, his steps as unsteady as that of a toddler, taking it's first steps. He felt Abby's arm move around his waist, to give him support. They walked slowly to the bathroom, "Can you bring me one of my sweaters and a pair

of trousers?"

"Certainly Ezra, then I am going to make breakfast while you bathe, just let me know when your done, I don't want you slipping and falling."

"Yes ma'am."

Ezra began to undress as Abby went and got him some fresh clothes, selecting something that would be comfortable, but also appropriate for the days events. She would have to leave him after breakfast, to go to Chris's and get all the food started cooking, she would tell Ezra that

she was going home for a few hours, she hated to leave him alone, considering his emotional state, but there was no choice, maybe she could get one of his friends to go visit him.

Ezra climbed carefully into the bath, letting the warm water soothe his aching body, he closed his eyes and let his mind drift, it went back to yesterday, when he was watching the snow fall, it had given him such a sense of peace and tranquility and he wanted to feel that again. He

must have fallen asleep, because Abby was suddenly knocking on the door to see if he was all right. "I'm fine Abby, I am getting out now."

"All right Ezra, I have some breakfast ready for you."

"Thank you, can you come in and help me get this sweater on?"

"Certainly." She opened the door to find Ezra all dressed except his sweater, his hair was damp and he hadn't combed it yet. She helped him get the sweater on, being careful of his right arm and shoulder. Then watched as Ezra combed his hair, she then helped him out of the

bathroom, she had his wheelchair waiting outside the door and he fell gratefully into it.

He hadn't realized that the short walk to the bathroom could be so tiring, so he was glad to sit in the wheelchair, he was feeling tired, he hated the fact that it took almost no physical exertion to become very tired. He ate breakfast, again Abby made a wonderful meal.

"Ezra, I have to go home for a few hours, will you be all right here alone for a while?"

"Yes Abby, I will be fine." He still had a deep sense of loneliness and his depression did not seem to be lifting much either, it was not as bad as when he was in the hospital, but it was still bad.

"All right, I do hate to leave you alone."

"It's all right, you should be with your family on Thanksgiving."

"Yes, but you shouldn't be alone on Thanksgiving."

"I have been most of my life, why should it be any different now?"

"Ezra, you have friends now, that's why."

"If you want to call them that."

"I do, they are your friends and they care deeply for you."

"They have a funny way of showing it."

"I'm sorry Ezra, I will be back later, try to get some rest."

"Thank you, enjoy your day."

Abby left and headed straight for Chris's, she began getting things ready, the Turkey's were already in the oven, she just had to work on the rest of the food, Josiah and Nathan were helping her, while Chris, Buck, and JD were decorating the house. Vin was sitting in a chair by

the fire, he was worried about Ezra.

"Vin, why don't you go visit him?" Chris said.

"That's a good idea Chris, he's all alone right now."

"Yeah, I am sure he would love some company."

"All right, you want me to bring him back with me?"

"Yeah, you can tell him that I want to see him or something, to get him here."

"Good idea, thanks Chris." Vin headed out the door, the snow was still coming down, but he actually enjoyed the snow, it made things seem festive. He headed to Ezra's, hoping that he could bring him out of his depression, at least a little.

By the time Vin arrived at Ezra's Townhouse, the snow was coming down hard and it was piling up fast. Vin rang the doorbell, but he knew Ezra wouldn't be able to come to the door, so after a moment, he went in. What he saw was the saddest thing he ever laid eyes on, Ezra was sitting in his wheelchair, by the fire and staring out the window at the snow, it had to be the loneliest sight he had ever seen. "Hey Pard, I came to see how you were doing."

"Fine, just fine Mr. Tanner." He had no enthusiasm in his voice and he didn't much care, he hadn't thought he would feel this lonely, after Abby left, but he did. Watching the snow falling had helped him relax, but it did nothing for the loneliness.

"Would you call me Vin, please?"

"I'll try, but you know how hard it is for me."

"Yes, I suppose I do, so how do you feel physically? I can see how you feel mentally."

"I hurt all over and I tire so easily."

"I'm sorry Ezra, do you have your pain pills?"

"No, I left them in the bedroom and with this arm of mine, I couldn't move the chair to retrieve them."

"I'll get them for you, hey Chris wants me to bring you to his house in a bit, he wants to talk to you about something." Vin's voice sounded distant as he spoke from the bedroom.

Ezra sighed, he didn't want to go anywhere, he liked watching the snow falling, but he didn't want to go out into it, not in his condition. "Why can't he come here? I don't want to go out into that snowstorm."

"I don't know, perhaps he thought it would be good for you to get out of the house for a bit." Vin's voice grew louder as he came back out of the bedroom and went into the kitchen.

"Very well, when do we leave then?" He asked Vin, as he walked up to him.

"In a half hour or so, we'll let these pain pills take effect first." Vin handed Ezra two pain pills and a hot cup of coffee that he had heated in the microwave.

"It's awfully cold out there Vin."

"Don't worry, I'll get you bundled up good, it's important Ezra, especially for Chris."

"You've made your point Vin, I will go."

"Sorry Ezra, didn't mean to seem pushy." Vin could see Ezra's lack of enthusiasm and hoped that the days events would improve that. He sat and talked with Ezra for about a half hour, then went to Ezra's coat closet and took out his heaviest coat and a pair of gloves, then went to

the linen closet and got a small blanket. He helped Ezra get the coat on, then laid the blanket over his legs, to keep them warm. "You ready to go?"

"As I will ever be Vin."

"Good, you won't be sorry Ezra, I promise." He watched Ezra nod, then wheeled him out to his Jeep, once Ezra was situated in the passenger seat, he put the wheelchair in the back and climbed in. "I will go slow Ezra, the roads are pretty treacherous right now."

"Thank you Vin, I really don't want to be in another crash with you."

"No, that would be too weird." Vin began driving, going slow and making sure his tires had a good grip, the last thing Ezra needed was to be in a car accident. It would take them longer to get to Chris's at this rate, but the timing should be just about right.

+ + + + + + +

Shortly after Vin left to go to Ezra's, Abby's husband, David arrived. Abby introduced him to everyone, "This is my husband David" "David, this is Chris, Josiah, Nathan, Buck and JD." They all shook hands and they made David feel at home. Abby went back to the kitchen to finish

cooking, everything was almost done, but she was worried about Mr. Tanner and Ezra out in this weather, she would relax when they were here.

Chris chatted with David, he thought that Mr. Riley was a very nice man, he was a Stock Broker and did quite well for himself. They all seemed to get along with David quite well, just as they had with Abby, Chris knew they had made some new friends. Chris and David got the table

set, it would be a large group today, a group that all cared about each other and especially Ezra, he just hoped this would help Ezra. "I sure hope Vin drives carefully."

"I'm sure he will Chris, he knows Ezra's physical condition is still very weak." Buck said.

"I hope so, I want them to get here safe, once their here, they can spend the night if need be." Chris was looking out the front window, the snow was coming down hard and all he wanted was to see Vin's Jeep pull up out front.

"Try not to worry Chris, it's going to take them longer to get here in this weather." Josiah said, trying to calm his leader.

"I'm trying Josiah, but it's hard." He began pacing the living room.

It was slow going, but Vin and Ezra finally arrived at Chris's, Ezra was noticably pale as Vin helped him out of the Jeep and into his wheelchair. It took some effort on Vin's part to push Ezra's chair through the heavy snow, but he finally reached Chris's front door. He rang the bell and waited for Chris to answer, he couldn't wait to see Ezra's reaction when he saw everyone there.

Chris felt relief flood his body when he saw Vin's Jeep pull up out front, he watched Vin help a rather pale Ezra out of the Jeep, it must have been a scary trip. "They're here everyone, get ready." Everyone was standing in the living room, ready to see Ezra's expression as he

came in and saw them. When the doorbell rang, Chris went to answer it. "Hey Vin, Ezra glad you could come."

"Mr. Tanner didn't give me much choice." Ezra said, without emotion.

Vin pushed him in through the door, when he was in the living room, everyone said, "Surprise" with big smiles on their faces, but those smiles quickly disappeared.

Ezra had been taken aback by everyones presense in the room, the emotions he felt overwhelmed him and some were unfamiliar. He could not hold back the tears, that began to fill his eyes and roll down his cheeks. He put his hand over his eyes in an attempt to hide it, but it

was too late.

Josiah stepped up in front of Ezra and knelt down, pulling Ezra's hand down, then putting his hands on Ezra's arms, as they rested on the arms of the wheelchair. "Brother Ezra, don't be ashamed to show us your emotions, we all care about you and want to help you, tell me what you

are feeling?" He reached up and wiped the tear from Ezra's cheek.

"I don't know Josiah, I.....am not familiar with these emotions, they are strange to me." The tears continued to fall.

"Try to describe how you feel."

"It's hard Josiah, I am not used to this."

"Take your time Ezra, we can wait." Vin said, putting a hand on his left shoulder and squeezing slightly. His heart was breaking to see Ezra in all this pain and confusion.

Abby stepped up and gave Ezra a hug, "Ezra, remember all the talks we had? just tell us what you feel, as if we were having one of our talks." She then wiped a tear from his cheek.

"Abby, I.....it's strange, because it hurts, but yet it feels good, I know you all care, but....I just can't explain, I have never had people care about me like this, not even my mother."

"Ezra, we want to make up for that and we are going to stick by you no matter what." Chris said.

"Yeah Ezra, we want you to do things with us, Buck and I are sorry we never asked you to come along, when we went out." JD said.

"Yeah Ezra, the kids right, we are sorry, we assumed you wouldn't want to go, instead of asking instead." Buck added.

"I really don't know what to say." It was one of the few times in his life that he was speechless. It was the only time that his emotions were completely out of control and completely foreign to him. His tears still hadn't stopped, but they had subsided, he did have a kind of warm

feeling inside, he had never felt that before and began to realize that was what love and caring really felt like. He could feel the loneliness and depression beginning to lift slightly, he hoped it meant it was going away, he had hated the way it felt.

"Why don't you relax for a bit Ezra, dinner will be ready very soon, we can all have a nice dinner together, we have so much to be thankful for this year." Chris said.

"Very well, can you move me to the window, I would like to watch the snow coming down." It had almost become a sort of therapy for him to watch the snow fall, it really seemed to soothe his soul.

Vin moved Ezra by the window, then left him alone to sort out his feelings. He went to talk to Chris. "That was not the reaction I was hoping for Chris."

"No, me either, but perhaps it was the best one for him, now he can deal with the emotions churning inside him." He looked at Ezra by the window, he noticed that Abby had moved over to him and they were talking quietly. "Perhaps Abby is the best thing that ever happened to him, he

hasn't had a friend like her, we should have been, but we dropped the ball where that is concerned."

"Yeah Chris, I agree, we did a bad job of showing him how we feel about him." He smiled as he watched Abby and Ezra talking, Ezra still seemed very down, but he thought he had seen a little of that spark that Ezra usually had, back in those green eyes.

"Was it a rough drive over here?"

"Um...yeah, poor Ezra was holding on for dear life, he got very pale a couple times when we started to slide a little."

"Well, everyone is staying here tonight, I won't have anyone going out in that."

"Is there room for all of us?"

"Sure, Abby and David can have the guest room, Ezra can have my bed, the rest of us can use the sofa, chairs or floor."

"Well, I guess that's better than going out in that mess."

"It might give us a good chance to get Ezra back in good emotional health."

"Good point"

"Help me bring in some more firewood."

"Sure Chris"

+ + + + + + +

They all sat down to Thanksgiving dinner, putting Ezra at the end of the table, so he could see the snow falling outside. Abby was on one side of Ezra and Vin was on the other side, Chris was at the other end, with the rest of the men down the sides, Abby's husband, David was

next to Abby. Chris stood up and raised his glass, "Here's to Ezra, we are very glad your still with us and will be for a long time." the others all chimed in with "Here, here"

The tears threatened to fall from Ezra's eyes again as he listened to Chris's toast, but he fought them back. "Thank you all, I am very glad to be here."

Abby reached over and took Ezra's hand, squeezing it gently, when he looked at her, she smiled and mouthed, "We love you Ezra." She watched a single tear roll down his cheek.

The dinner was delicious, everything came out perfect, they made sure Ezra was served first, so he could have just what he wanted. He didn't eat a lot, but it was understandable, he was weak and his emotions had been all churned up, but Abby would make sure that she brought plenty of

leftovers back to Ezra's with her. The evening passed pleasantly and Ezra joined in the conversation every once in a while, but his mind was wandering, trying to make sense of the feelings inside him.

Once Ezra had gone to bed, which was early, it was amazing how easily he got tired, it was not like him at all, but once he began rehab, it would change, the others talked quietly. Chris's eyes moved around the room and came to rest on Ezra's wheelchair, he found himself unable to

draw his eyes away from it, he kept thinking how much he thanked God that Ezra didn't need that thing for the rest of his life.

"You all right Chris?" Vin asked

"Yeah, just thinking how glad I am that Ezra doesn't need that chair for the rest of his life."

"Amen brother." Josiah added.

"We best get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

"Goodnight Chris"

"Goodnight everyone."

+ + + + + + +

Ezra's mood did improve with each day, once he began rehab, his body began to return to full strength and that seemed to help his spirit as well, by the time Christmas came, Ezra was back to his old self, but feeling much less lonely. They had Christmas dinner at his home, exchanging gifts and having a great time, even Abby and David were there. Ezra now looked forward to the New Year.

The End