Chris found Billy sitting quietly next to the stream. "Hey there, little man. Your ma is looking for you."
Looking up in surprise, the boy relaxed when he recognized the gunslinger. "I don't want to see her right now. She stinks," he sulked.
"Now, that's not a nice thing to say about your ma. What's got you so upset?" the hired gun asked curiously. When the boy didn't answer, he sat down beside him and nudged him in the ribs with his elbow. "Come on. You can trust me. I won't tell her."
"Is Ma really going to marry Gerard?" Billy asked, his eyes clearly troubled by the thought.
"Well...I don't know. Nobody can really answer that question except your ma, but, from what I've seen, I'd say she's really considerin' it." Chris tossed a few rocks into the stream to fill the silence that followed. Finally, the gunfighter sighed, knowing he should try to ease the boy's worries no matter how much he hated the situation himself. "Billy, it'll be good for you to have a man around...and it'll be good for your ma, too," he admitted grudgingly.
Billy stared up at his hero with wide eyes. "How can you say that?" he gasped.
"Say what?" the gunslinger asked warily. He could have sworn he was saying the things he needed to.
"I don't need another man around," the boy glared up at the taller man. "You're doing a good enough job."
The young boy's serious words brought a gentle smile to the lawman's face. "That's not exactly what I meant. You need a pa. Sure I'm good for going fishing with and riding with, but there are things that I can't do that your pa could."
"Like what?" Billy asked expectantly.
"Well...like..." The question caught the gunfighter off-guard and without answers. "I don't know, Billy. Just trust me that there are things that your pa could do that I can't."
The boy turned adoring eyes on his mentor. "You could be my pa then." He said it so matter-of-factly, that Chris almost believed it. "We already do stuff all the time."
"It's not that easy, pard. See...when a man and woman get married, they need to love one another. You shouldn't marry someone just for the sake of marrying. It's just not right," Chris tried to explain.
"Then why would Ma consider marrying Gerard? I don't think she loves him. Least not like that. Do you think she loves him?"
Chris immediately remembered Mary's answering silence when he'd asked her that question. "I would hope she does if she decides to marry him," he finally answered.
Billy smiled suddenly. "You say you have to love someone in order to get married. So why can't you and my ma get married? Don't you love each other? The way ya'll act around each other all the time...she cares for you. I know she does."
The gunslinger froze at the boy's question. He couldn't lie to the boy, but he could never say that he loved Mary. "I..." he started haltingly, suddenly nervous being stuck in the conversation. "Billy, it's best not to even worry 'bout such things. Of course I care 'bout your ma, but that doesn't matter. Gerard cares for her, too."
"But I don't care for Gerard," Billy pointed out.
"That ain't true."
"Well," the boy sighed, "I don't want him to be my pa. He's real nice, and he's fun, but it's not the same. Me and you have tons more fun."
Chris swallowed the lump that was growing fast in his throat. He couldn't imagine losing the boy before him, but he knew it was probably for the best. "Billy, I want you to listen to me and not interrupt, all right? Can you do that?"
When the child nodded, he continued, "Gerard will be good to both you and your ma. Plus you'll get a sister. That'll be real nice. But none of that really matters right now. I just want to ask you to do something for me. Your ma needs a man around. She needs a husband. Gerard is a good man. What I want you to do is to support your ma, no matter what she decides. She needs to know that she's making the right choice, and whatever she decides will be the right choice. It's important for you to stand by her."
"But..."
"No. There are no buts. She needs your support. Understand?" Chris said firmly.
Billy's shoulders slumped. "Yes, sir."
"Good. Now we need to head back to camp. Your ma has supper waiting on you."
"Chris...," the young boy's plaintive tone struck a cord in the gunslinger's chest. "If Ma marries Gerard, we'll never get to see you again."
Taking a deep breath, Chris held back his emotions long enough to smile gently at the boy. "That's not true. We'll see each other every once in a while. I'll come out here to see you, I promise," he lied. He knew the boy was right. If they moved out here, most likely he would never see either of them again.
"You're lying," Billy said, his voice catching as his bottom lip started to quiver. Choking on a sob, the boy impatiently brushed aside the first tears escaping down his cheeks. "I don't want to live out here!" he insisted.
Before either of them knew it, the boy had launched himself into the hired gun's arms, which immediately enfolded the small form in his lap. The tall man fell instantly into a role he all knew too well. Soothing the child with gentle words, he held him tenderly.
Without their knowing, a young blonde woman caught the last few minutes of their conversation. Mary had come looking for her son, but instead found him sitting with the black-clad gunman. She was touched by Chris' effort to help her son accept her possible marriage to Gerard.
When Billy had pointed out that they would have to leave Chris behind when they moved out to the new settlement, though, it caught her by surprise. The finality of the move had never really occurred to her. Could she leave everything and everyone she cared about in Four Corners?
Then, a more important question entered her mind. Could she leave the man comforting her son? He'd said it didn't matter that he cared for her. For the first time it occurred to her that his support of her decision earlier could have just been a carefully orchestrated act.
Once Billy's arms loosened around his hero's neck, Chris gently turned him around so the boy's back was against his chest. "How about we stay here for a little while? Supper'll wait." As the two sat there, the sun started its final descent for the day, casting a brilliant array of colors across the water. But as the light disappeared from the earth, three hearts were breaking.
One Night Out On the Trail Home
Chris opted to take the first watch once they'd made camp. Once everyone else had settled in to sleep, he made himself comfortable on a large rock not far from the fire but on the opposite side of most of the bed rolls. Sipping on his coffee, he allowed himself to concentrate on his own thoughts after a while.
In his mind's eye he could see his first few encounters with the proper Mrs. Travis. He flashed through moments of their arguing to just talking to when he'd held her in his arms in an attempt to comfort her. Finally he saw her when he'd found her in Wickestown. Sighing, he cursed himself for putting her into so much danger. "If only I weren't the bad element," he mused sadly.
A sudden movement next to him startled him back to the present. Whipping his head up and around from where he'd been staring into the fire, he came face to face with Mary. "What are you doing up?" he asked warily.
"You're not still mad at me for what I wrote in the paper those first few days, aren't you?" Mary wondered out loud as she settled herself next to him on the rock.
Chris scooted over so she would have enough room. "Have a seat," he deadpanned, pointing out that he hadn't invited her to join him. When she didn't rise to his goading, he sighed again. "Course I'm not. That was a long time ago. Neither of us knew each other back then."
"You're not the same man that rode into town, either," she pointed out.
"But I'm still not a good man." Chris wasn't sure where the sudden self-imposed guilt trip came from, but he also noticed it brought a large dose of self-pity with it. Brushing both emotions to the side in disgust, he glanced over at the widow. "You really should try to get some sleep."
Mary shook her head, a gentle smile making its way to her face. "I think you've been trying to avoid me, Chris Larabee," she finally declared. When he turned astonished eyes to meet hers, she laughed quietly. "Yes, you've been caught. Don't think I haven't noticed how you've been very careful to not be around me unless you absolutely have to. Always riding at the opposite end of the group. Never engaging in conversation. It's not like you to avoid a confrontation, but now you can't run away, and there's no one else awake to save you."
"Mary, I don't know what you're talking about," Chris insisted, turning his head away from hers so she couldn't see the lie in his eyes, "but if there's something you want to talk about...go right ahead."
"It's not going to be that easy," she whispered. After two days of being forced to live with the tension between them, she wasn't about to let him off too easily. "You're going to have to give a little, too. I'm not going to do all the work."
"How 'bout you give me an idea as to what you're referring to, and I'll see if I can help you out."
Mary carefully held back the annoyance that was welling up in response to his avoidance. "I'm talking about Gerard." Curiosity finally won out and she asked, "Why did you ask me if I loved him?"
"Why not?" Chris threw back, continuing his act of aloofness. "Seems like a legitimate question to me in that kind of situation. You were thinking about marrying him. I'm your friend. Just wanted to make sure you were doing it for the right reason."
"Well, I decided not to marry him. So what does that say to you?" she tried again to force him to open up.
The gunslinger finally met her eyes and held them steadily. "Tells me you didn't love him. Also tells me you were almost willing to go ahead with it regardless of how you felt about him."
Sighing, Mary turned her eyes towards the fire in order to avoid his accusing, heated gaze. "That's right."
Chris finally swallowed the knot that had taken up residence in his throat and forced himself to face the issue. "So...why didn't you marry him? I thought you'd decided to, but then suddenly you changed your mind."
"I realized something a few nights ago," the young widow explained, thinking back to the overheard conversation between the gunslinger and her son. She would never tell either of them that she'd heard them talking, but their discussion wouldn't leave her mind.
Mary turned back to look at the man beside her and waited until he'd met her gaze before she continued. "I realized that there are some things that I'm not willing to leave behind in Four Corners." When he merely nodded, she knew he didn't understand. "There are certain people that I'm not willing to leave behind. Maybe even a certain person," she emphasized.
Chris' eyes widened suddenly and his eyebrows climbed his forehead as he finally comprehended the woman's words. "Oh..." was all he could say.
"I think you're finally getting it," Mary smiled. Slightly embarrassed by where the conversation was heading she turned away from him only to feel his hand grasp her shoulder and turn her back.
"Don't start turning away now," he whispered. "You've opened this whole thing up. Got to do something with it."
"And what would that something be?" she asked hesitantly.
Chris chuckled loudly, suddenly breaking the quietness of the situation. "Hell if I know." Releasing his hold on her, he turned back to the flickering light of the campfire. "Just know that something's got to happen. We can't just continue on like this forever."
"Forever is a long time." The statement brought his attention back to her. "We have plenty of time."
"No need to just jump into anything," he added quietly, staring into her eyes. Their breathing grew slightly labored in the silence that followed as his eyes flicked from hers down to her lips and back. He started to lean towards her, a whisper escaping his lips, "Mary..."
"Mighty nice night, isn't it?" a loud voice interrupted from the direction of the campfire.
Both people on the rock jumped apart in surprise, startled beyond imagination. Chris glared at his long-time friend standing not five feet away. "What are you doing up, Buck?" he ground out, mentally cursing the man for his bad timing.
"I've got next watch," the mustached man explained, a wide smile on his shadowed features. "Something woke me up. Sounded like laughing. From what I can tell, it's about time for me to take over, so I figured there weren't no need in trying to go back to sleep. Thought I'd join the party. Sorry."
Gritting his teeth in frustration, the blond gunslinger stood up and ran one hand through his hair. "Mary, you should probably try to get some sleep. You'll regret it tomorrow if you don't rest."
"Yes, I probably should," Mary nodded, grinning in amusement at the two men. The interruption didn't bother her, the inevitable would happen eventually. Instead, her companion's annoyance was actually entertaining, and the dark-haired man standing nearby was obviously enjoying the situation as well. "Good night, Mr. Larabee. Mr. Wilmington," she said as she passed him on the way back to her bedroll.
As the young widow sat down on her bed, she heard a distinct thump from across the fire. She looked up in time to see Chris arm settling back to his side as Buck rubbed his arm and laughed at his scowling friend. She couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her.
"Damn it, Buck," Chris glared at his friend. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Either saving you or getting my ass kicked," the scoundrel chuckled. "Either way, it's pretty damned entertaining." Seeing his friend's scowl turn even more hateful, he burst out laughing. "You should see your face."
Chris slugged his friend in the arm as the man sat down on the recently vacated rock. "Quiet down. You're liable to wake the whole camp."
Muffling his laughter, Buck smiled at the blonde man. "So you almost did it? I must say, I'm surprised."
"Would have done it if you hadn't interrupted," Chris grumbled as he sat back down. "So why'd you feel the need to make your presence known? Couldn't have waited ten more seconds?"
"Ah, ya'll were closer than that. You probably only needed one or two more. Had to take the one chance I had." Buck quieted down when he noticed the depth of his friend's agitation. "Hey, calm down, pard."
The gunslinger shook his head slowly. "I was this close, Buck," he sighed, bringing up his hand and holding his thumb and pointer less than an inch apart. "Why did you have to go and do that?"
"Listen...it'll happen. We all know it will. It's just a matter of time. One of these days, it'll just be the right time and the right place and bam! - it'll happen. This just wasn't it."
"It would've been," Chris pointed out, but his anger was quickly disappearing. "You realize I'm going to have to kill you now."
"Just let me have one night in town with the ladies. Then you can do with me as you please," Buck grinned. Mission accomplished, he thought as his friend broke into a smile.
"You're hopeless, Buck." Shaking his head, the gunslinger stood and looked down at his friend. "I'm going to bed. Keep your eyes open."
Buck nodded in agreement. "No problem, Boss."
The End
