Frequent Flyer

Ezra stood in line, trying to appear casual as he looked around the terminal. He had been here at least a dozen times, maybe more, to pick up his mother or one of his fellow agents on occasion, but this time the terminal had an air of foreboding. This time he was one of the travelers.

"Here," said Josiah, handing him and the others each a small piece of cardboard on an elastic string.

"What's this?"

"For your luggage."

"Now why would I wish to adorn my luggage with cheap paper?"

"You can't carry on that large bag, only the small one, and you ain't got a luggage tag on that."

Buck grinned. "Ain't you ever flown before, Ezra? Hey, guys, we got a virgin in our midst."

"Oh, lovely," muttered Ezra. The flight from Denver to Washington was supposed to take roughly 6 hours, but with Buck's announcement, it suddenly stretched into much longer.

"Don't worry, Ezra. We won't let nothin' happen to you," grinned Buck. He snatched the ticket out of Ezra's hand. "Where's your seat? Oh, near the front. That's bad, that's real bad..."

"Really," said Ezra drily, snatching his ticket back. "If it's near you, it must be."

Buck laughed. "Don't you know planes always crash nose-first? You oughta be near the back, then you got a chance of survivin'."

"Knock it off, Buck," interrupted JD. "It don't matter where you sit, Ezra." Ezra looked at him. "I didn't mean it like that," JD added hastily. "Anywhere on the plane is fine."

The line moved slowly, as each ticket was scrutinized. Ezra walked down the long tunnel to the open door and smiling flight attendant. There he hesitated, swallowing hard. This was it. Time to actually board the plane.

"Ezra?" said Nathan. "Yer holdin' up the line."

"'Scuze my friend, here," said Buck, with a toothy grin at the flight attendant. "He's just struck by your beauty, Darlin'." And with that, Buck used something between a toss and a shove to get Ezra on the plane.

Ezra nearly sprawled over his pilot case as two more flight attendants tried to catch him.

"Mr. Wilmington," he said tightly, rearranging his clothes in an attempt to salvage his dignity. "Should I require your assistance in future, I shall request it."

"Find your seat, Ezra," said Chris. "Buck..." He sighed. "Never mind."

As it turned out, the boys took up 2 rows of three seats each. JD sat by the window, with Ezra in-between, Buck on the aisle, and Nathan directly across the aisle. Josiah was behind JD, with Chris next to him and Vin stretching out into the aisle.

Ezra hesitated, staring at the empty seat with dread. He checked his ticket. There was no mistake. "Oh, Lord," he muttered. Six hours next to Buck.

He turned to the team leader imploringly. "Chris, I--"

"Ezra?" There was a note of impatience to Chris's voice now. "Sit!"

He sat. This was going to be a very long flight indeed.

Things weren't looking so bad. Apart from being sandwiched next to Buck. He took a moment to look around the aircraft as people continued to board. Idly, he wondered where all those wide, comfortable planes he'd seen on TV were. This didn't appear to be one of those. He was already wondering if he was going to like this at all.

"Look, Ezra," said JD, trying to be helpful, "in the seat in front of you? There's a magazine and a catalog."

Ezra looked up sharply as the flight attendant closed the door. This was it.

"Mr. Larabee, is this trip really necessary? I still think one of us should stay here and man the fort, so to speak."

Vin stretched his legs out into the aisle and crossed his ankles. "Ezra, you've been tryin' this for a week. He's told you: we all have to be at this seminar."

Vin sighed, drew his legs back in and straightened in his seat as the announcement was made: "The pilot has turned on the 'fasten seatbelts' sign..."

Ezra looked around him. "Where is..."

"You're sitting on it, Ezra. Here..." JD bent over to assist.

"I think I can figure it out," he retorted, taking the buckle out of his hand. This was getting ridiculous. Okay, so he'd never flown before. He was inexperienced, not stupid. But JD was only trying to help, which was far more than could be said for Buck Wilmington. "JD, thank you, I appreciate your help."

Ezra listened with full attention as the flight attendant went through her drill. If anything DID happen, he was going to make sure he survived by any means necessary. He glanced at each of his companions. Vin was already tuning in a Walkman, Nathan and Josiah were both reading, Chris appeared to be trying to nap, and JD was gazing out the window. Only Buck was watching the flight attendant, but Ezra was sure Buck hadn't heard a single word.

Ezra turned to JD and whispered "Do you really think we need to know this?"

JD shrugged. "Oh, they do that before every flight. I suppose it doesn't hurt to know it."

Ezra looked at his companions again and tried to settle back into his seat. His grip on the armrests involuntarily tightened when he heard the engines rev and the plane begin to pull out onto the runway.

"This is it," he thought. "This is really it." He heard the engines whine louder and faster...Why did it seem like all crashes happened during take-offs and landings?

Ezra leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

"Ezra, don't you wanna watch the take-off?"

"Thank you, JD. I most certainly do not." Then the rumble began and the plane began to shake as it increased in speed. Ezra cracked one eye open and looked around. Everyone else looked calm. Was it supposed to be like this? The noise grew louder till it seemed to pound through his ears and chest. Or maybe he was having a heart attack. It certainly wouldn't surpise him. Suddenly his stomach dove for the runway as he felt the plane leave the ground. So far so...good. As he felt the plane tilt upwards and bank and closed his eyes tighter.

"Oh, my God, what was that?" hissed Buck.

"Knock it off, Buck," came Chris's voice.

Ezra heard Josiah near his ear. "You can open your eyes, son. We're in the air."

Ezra opened his eyes. They were definitely in the air. The plane was cruising along now and the sign to fasten seatbelts had been turned off.

"Ezra?" said Nathan, sounding concerned. "You're lookin' a mite green. You okay?"

Buck held an airsickness bag in Ezra's face. "They got these..."

"Mr. Wilmington, take that offensive object out of my face."

"Jes' tryin' to help."

Chris was losing patience. "Buck, change places with Ezra so he can get some air."

"Not on your life. His seat blocks the view of the flight attendants..."

"Perhaps if I just put some cold water on my face. Is there a lavatory on this aircraft?"

Chris nudged Vin, who pulled off his earphones. "Will you show him the bathroom? Buck here is bein' a bit too helpful."

Vin led Ezra to the back of the plane.

"This...closet?" Ezra stared, looking inside doubtfully. "I'm grateful I'm only here for some minor ablutions."

"You be all right in here? Or do you want me to hang around outside?"

"Et tu, Mr. Tanner?"

Vin shrugged and headed back to his seat.

Ezra looked around the tiny room with its shiny metal fixtures and signs everywhere, and sighed. "A porta-potty in the sky," he muttered, as he wiped his hands on a paper towel.

He settled in his seat and looked at his watch with a groan. Hours yet. He was ready to be on the tarmac, picking up his checked luggage. Lord only knew what condition he'd find it in when they arrived at Washington National. Provided they arrived at Washington National.

JD nodded at the seat in front of Ezra. "They have a magazine and a catalog in there, if you're looking for something to read."

Ezra looked at the catalog with mild curiosity. "Some expensive and unusual items. I could enjoy the electric freestanding towel warmer, but have no use for a collapsible golf club."

"Golf club?" Josiah's ears perked up. "What page is that on, Ezra?"

JD grinned. "You can keep that, Ezra. Same with the magazine. Even a deck of cards, if you want."

Ezra looked at him, then turned back to the catalog. "No wonder the airlines charge so much for tickets. Now THAT'S a scam I can respect. Mr. Larabee, after this junket is over, I may resign and join the airline industry."

"Ezra," Josiah explained, "they're regulated. Government regulated."

"On the other hand, Mr. Larabee, I'm quite happy where I am," said Ezra with a forced smile.

The flight attendant was coming down the aisle, pushing a large cart in front of her. "Would you like a drink, sir?"

JD smiled. "Coke."

"I'll have the same," said Ezra.

"Shoot, Ezra," said Buck. "You want a drink, have a drink. It's his first time." The attendant smiled warmly at Ezra. "He'll have a whiskey, and so will I."

Ezra smiled back at her. "Make that a scotch whiskey."

Buck frowned but handed the money over to the flight attendant anyway, and collected a bag of peanuts for each of them.

Ezra settled back with his drink. Aside from the ridiculous bathrooms, this wasn't so bad after all.

"'Scuze me, boys. I see a fellow passenger in need of my special attention." Grinning wolfishly, Buck smoothed his hair and headed several rows back on the other side of the plane.

A male flight attendant was heading down the aisle, a stack of black electrical cords draped over his arm. "Headphones?"

"Those are $2," said JD. "And before you ask, you need them for the movie. They plug into your seat."

Ezra looked up at the attendant. "What's the movie?"

"'The Magnificent Seven.' It's not the Yul Brynner one, though. It's a new version."

"Wasn't that a TV show," asked Josiah suddenly.

Vin nodded. "I liked it."

"Me, too," added Chris. "I think I still have it on tape."

"Never saw it," JD shrugged.

Nathan grinned at him. "If it wasn't on MTV or VH-1, you wouldn't have. I'll get one for Buck, too. That female passenger should be having enough of him pretty soon."

The attendant handed out 7 pairs of headphones and continued down the aisle.

The in-flight movie turned out to be pretty good, though none of the seven ATF agents could place any of the actors who starred in it.

During the movie, Buck had found the attendant call button and started buying more whiskey for himself and for Ezra.

All in all, things had been going well. Which is precisely why Ezra felt himself getting increasingly nervous. He checked his watch again. They had to be nearing Washington, perhaps another hour or so. Good. As pleasant as this flight had been, he was eager to be on solid ground and in open spaces. He could see now why Vin liked the great outdoors so much.

"Won't be long now," grinned Buck. "Soon we'll be gettin' ready to land...That's the really tricky part...Landing. Now, there's a card right here in this seat pocket in case we have to land in the Potomac..."

"Buck," said Chris warningly.

"What, Chris? We was just tryin' to help 'im out, weren't we, JD?"

"Don't look at me! JD retorted. "You were the one using the agency expense account to buy drinks!"

Chris frowned. "Buck, you'll remimburse the agency for every penny you spent on those drinks!" He looked at the strangely silly smile on the Southern agent's face and leaned closer. He lowered his voice so only Buck could hear and nodded at Ezra. "Including any he throws up."

Any further discussion was interrupted by an announcement. "Ladies and gentlemen, the pilot has asked that you fasten your seatbelts. We'll be experiencing a little turbulence..."

Ezra felt himself sobering up as everyone around him buckled their seatbelts. The plane began to shimmy harder and harder. Ezra felt like a giant hand had grabbed his stomach and made a fist.

Nathan looked at him. "Buck, you better change seats with him, in case he decides to toss up all that liquor you been pourin' down 'im."

"Too late, Nathan!" cried Buck as Ezra emptied the contents of his stomach into Buck's lap. Nathan quickly handed him a small towel from his carry-on.

The plane shook erratically. All conversation on the plane ceased as passengers looked around nervously. JD was staring out the window. Ezra lifted his head and looked at Buck.

Buck was white as a sheet.

"Nathan," called Ezra. "Mr. Wilmington, are you all right? Buck? Can you hear me?" He looked at Chris. "What's the matter with him?"

"This pilot took Buck for a ride once. Flying lessons. Turns out Buck didn't know it but he was dating the guy's wife."

"And?"

Chris shrugged. "The guy did air shows. Loops a speciality. He'll be all right."

Ezra looked at Buck one last time and shook his head sadly. Moments later, the plane settled back into a smooth flight pattern.

"Almost there, boys,"said Josiah, as he peered out the window.

"Good," muttered Vin. He'd had enough of the row in front of him. He didn't like being cramped in a plane for hours to begin with, but this flight had seemed to last forever.

The flight attendants collected the headphones and many empty cups. Ezra turned to glance at Chris. He knew that Chris was noting the number of cups and little bottles from the seats around Ezra and Buck. There'd be a discussion about this later.

From across JD, Ezra could see the landmarks of Washington DC coming into view. He could tell by the whines and whirrs of the plane that landing was imminent.

Ezra shot Buck a look just before he braced himself for it. "I hear a plane skidded off the runway once, into the Potomac," he said with forced casualness.

"Shut up, Ezra," grumbled Buck.

Ezra felt that moment of fear again when the wheels of the plane bumped and rolled down the runway. "The brakes, the brakes," he thought. "Hit the brakes..."

The plane slowed and stopped at the terminal. They had made it. HE had made it. He felt as if his whole body was sighing in relief as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Not so bad, was it, Ezra?" said Chris with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, you made it," JD beamed.

"Nice goin', Ezra," said Josiah.

"Buck, them pants o' yours is ruined," observed Nathan. "You'll have to change 'em."

"Yeah, I know," Buck said ruefully.

It took awhile, but the seven finally made their way to the baggage carousels. Vin grabbed a large duffle. Chris had his garment bag and suitcase. Only Buck was left standing there.

"You didn't have a carry-on," said Nathan in surprise.

"I checked everything. Now how can they have lost my luggage? I can't walk around like this."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Mr. Wilmington," said Ezra. He looked at the others and shook his head. "Some people just don't know how to fly."

The End