It was stupid. A stupid argument over something that meant nothing.
Chris growled low in his throat, angry at himself for letting something so trivial get the better of him. After all, did it really matter that Vin had mixed their shirts in the closet, rather than hanging his on one side and his partner's on the other?
No.
But he had acted as if it did. Oh, he had pretended to be patient and understanding, talking to Vin as if he had suddenly become a three-year old. Explaining how the "system" worked best if Vin kept all of his clothes hung on the right side of the closet while all of his things were hung on the left.
And his lover had looked at him as if he had kicked him. Then he had become angry, growling that he wasn't a child and didn't need a lecture and Chris could by God do his own laundry if he didn't want his fucking system disturbed.
Then he had stormed from the room.
Larabee took a deep breath and started after the younger man. He followed him through the rambling house, to the big den. He stopped at the door, staring across the room at his soulmate. Vin stood at the window, arms wrapped around himself, staring out into the yard. The sun spilled across his long, loose, auburn curls, and cast them as a halo around the finely chiseled features. Dressed in a loose tee shirt and faded jeans, his body language said clearly that he was hurt and angry at his boss, his friend, and his lover.
And all of those men stood in the doorway, watching him.
Rubbing a hand over his face, Chris took a deep breath, shook his head at his own stupidity, and padded across the floor.
And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived 'til now
I tell them I don't know
He told himself over and over again that he would do whatever it took to make this relationship work. And over and over again, he found himself apologizing for the things he did.
He had vowed never to give his heart to another person. It hurt too much. But when Vin Tanner had come into his life, that vow flew out the window. And he was only too glad to break that promise, replacing it with another one. To love the other man with everything he had, for the rest of his life. And, while he did love him, he kept messing things up.
Chris was worried about that sometimes, worried that part of him was trying to destroy what he and Vin had found together. Part of him screamed out that it was wrong, and it had been hard for him to accept that he was in love with another man. And he worried that his doubts would ruin this second chance at happiness.
But, the truth was, he did love Tanner, with every fiber of his being. And those people who knew about them - the ones that mattered, and who had come to accept if not understand the relationship - knew one thing for certain. That love had become his strength, his courage, and his reason for living.
Approaching his partner, Chris tentatively reached out and touched the long hair, stroking it back from the strong neck. He watched as Vin's eyes flickered toward him then back, focusing hard on some spot out in the yard. His hand gently traveled down the man's neck, across his shoulder, and down his arm.
Music drifted across the room, and Larabee smiled. It was a slow tune, one they had danced to before. Running his hand down the long arm, he wrapped his fingers around the other man's hand. Squeezing gently, he nudged the lanky body with his shoulder, smiling when Vin turned to stare at him. Fire still shown in the blue eyes, but love shimmered beneath, undying in the heat.
Slowly Chris coaxed his partner from the window and toward the middle of the room.
I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand
Vin followed the older man with only a little reluctance. He knew that it was mostly pride that made him hesitate now, the argument was not worth risking even a minute of their life together.
As they moved across the floor, he looked into the dark eyes of the man he loved. He could read the remorse there, along with the all encompassing love. Chris Larabee could be a hard-ass son of a bitch when he wanted to be, but he was also the most important person in his life.
He had long ago given up on finding anyone to share his life with. Too often the people in his life either left too soon, or found a way to rip out another part of his soul. But then he met Larabee, and that changed. No only was his heart no longer in danger, but the other man managed to heal it. For the first time in too many years, he was whole again.
They stopped in the middle of the floor, Chris turning to face him. He looked questioningly at his partner, unsure as to what the other man had in mind. That was something that rarely happened, the two of them seeming to know instinctively what the other man's thoughts were.
Smiling now, Larabee moved closer, sliding an arm around his waist while he still held his partner's hand. He moved until they were pressed against one another. It was then that Vin heard the song playing, and recognized both the tune and its significance. Finally he returned Chris smile and leaned into his embrace. His arm slid around Larabee's shoulders, pulling him close.
And yes, I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me 'n the night won't set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around
They began to move to the music. Swaying to the rhythm and stepping around the room in one another's arms.
No, he had never expected a love like this in his life. He had fought it at first, afraid of what could happen. Chris was straight, a man who had lost a wife and son, his boss, and his friend. None of those things pointed toward the blond being interested in a love affair with another man.
In the dark hours of the past, he had cursed a fate that had led him along the path he walked. He cursed a destiny that seemed intent to keep him standing on the fringes, watching while others joined together and found the love he ached for. He damned the events that had taken place to bring him to where he was, alone.
Alone. He had slowly come to accept that, to hold no hope that he would know what it meant to know a love that held no demands or expectations. He had come to accept what seemed to be his future and his destiny, and made himself as comfortable as possible in that reality.
Until the day he met Chris Larabee.
And you love me, too
Your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free
I'm happy that you do
They danced around the room, slow and easy, holding one another in the way that had become so comfortable and familiar. Chris smiled as Vin lay his head on his shoulder, and he rested his cheek against the nest of tousled curls. His hand slid down the strongly muscled back, resting at the top of Tanner's jeans. Then his fingers slipped beneath the waistband, feeling the touch of warm flesh.
He felt Vin's breath catch as he trailed a finger along, causing the flesh beneath him to prickle. Then he withdrew, hearing an answering sigh as Tanner registered the loss of contact. Atop the jeans now, he slid his hand down, curving long fingers around the firm ass beneath the denim. He couldn't help but chuckle at the answering growl that vibrated against his chest.
As they moved, the sun shown into the big room, filling it with golden light. He remembered being here at other times when the golden light spread its warmth through the den and its inhabitants.
Him. Sarah. Adam.
Larabee sighed, his heart aching with that all too familiar pain. As much as he cherished the man he now held, his heart still ached for the family he had lost. He knew that, no matter what, that would never change. But, despite that devastating loss, his heart had surprised him, beating now for another.
And somehow, he knew that his wife would understand. Would approve of the fact that he had found someone to share the rest of his life with. Would be happy that, if she couldn't be there, that he had found someone special. Had found Vin.
The book of life is brief
And once a page is read
All but life is dead
That is my belief
They held one another close, feeling what no words could convey. Understanding and forgiveness for the foolishness of just minutes before passed unspoken between them. They moved around the room in a slow, familiar pattern, their bodies curved and curled around one another as if meant for only this. Heartbeat matched heartbeat, step matched step. Chris tilted back Vin's face, his lips moving to press against the broad mouth. Sliding his arms to hold his lover closer still, he shared a long, healing kiss with the other man. Tanner sighed in Larabee's arms, felt the warmth of his embrace and the heat of his kiss. He drew his arm around the other man's back, holding him against his own warm body. Suddenly nothing mattered, nothing but this. Nothing but them.
And, even as the song ended, their dance continued.
And yes, I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me and the night won't set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me
The End
