I sit here in the shadows watching you relax with our friends after the day's work is done and I wonder. Do you have any idea of what you are to me? Are you aware that in the short amount of time that has passed since we met you have taken possession of my heart? I watch you now, smiling that small, controlled smile you allow only a privileged few to view, and I know that my life truly began that day you pulled me- feverish and shivering with chills- into your lap and closed your strong arms around me, wrapping me in your protection.
You examined my past --full of deceit, lies, and thievery-- and offered forgiveness, giving me amnesty for all past sins. You wiped it all away and allowed me to start fresh with a clean slate. The mercy you extended amazed me. Amazes me still.
Did you make a conscious decision to change the course of my life? For that is exactly what you have done. You set me on a new path by giving me a new example to follow, showing me all that is good and honorable in a man. You took my world of pain, humiliation, and grief and stopped it mid-spin. You turned it on its axis and started it spinning in a whole new direction when you offered me your love and respect. Now it revolves around you the way the moon circles the Earth. Why you chose to grace me with your love mystifies me. I know I am not worthy of so great a gift.
I have listened to Josiah speak on miracles. I understand only too well the wonder involved with a miracle. I live with one. You are my miracle. Would it surprise you to know that? I never believed in miracles before I met you. To believe in miracles you have to believe there is someone or something more powerful than yourself. My father never raised me to believe in a higher power. He believed we were each on our own. That there was no benign heavenly being who determined a man's fate. He taught me that each man must take his own risks; trust no one but himself. Each man must put his own interests first. That was all I knew, all I believed in.
Then you took me in when I had no place to go. You unselfishly gave your money and your time to me. More importantly you gave of yourself. You opened your heart to me and gave me something I now realize I never had before. You gave me a home, a true home, filled with love and acceptance, and caring discipline. You made me a part of your life, sharing with me your wisdom and skills. You wiped away my tears when I was hurt. You protected me from those that wished me harm, standing between me and danger with a steadfast determination that still leaves me in awe.
You calmed my fears with nothing more than the look in your hazel eyes; the look that says "Trust me. I won't let you down" Against everything I've ever known, against everything I was ever taught by my father and by my own experiences, I did. I do. Trust you. The feeling of that comforts me. When things go wrong or I'm frightened I can always hold that feeling near. I know that you will keep me safe. You gave me your promise and I know you will keep it. For the first time in my life I know what it is to have faith. Against all reason, against all odds, I believe in you. Do you know how powerful a thing that is?
I watch you sitting there laughing with the other men that have become part of my family and see you look around for me, checking to make sure I am near, and unharmed. I see the loving concern in your face as our eyes meet. I hear the silent question in your gaze that asks if I am alright. I feel the warmth of your concern spreading from my heart to every part of my being, and I am happy just to be near you. You reach out your arm to me with a smile, offering affection so freely, and I leave my vantage point without hesitation. As I slip onto your lap I relax. With you, I am safe. I am loved. I am home. I feel this to the very depths of my soul and I am unafraid of what tomorrow holds because I believe you will be standing with me and we will face whatever comes together.
You pull me closer, letting your cheek rest against the top of my head, and contentment floods my being. As I nestle against you I am powerless to stop the words that come straight from my heart.
"I love you, Chris"
"I love you too, Ezra"
Yes, you are my miracle and I believe…in you.
The End
Next: The Trouble with Double
