A yellow bandanna. That's all it was. Just a simple piece of yellow cloth. But something about it brought a look to Tanner's eyes that I hadn't seen before.
He had covered it well. Not to hide it would have hurt Billy Travis' feelings and Vin wouldn't hurt Mary's son for anything. But, for a brief moment, I saw a world of pain and sadness reflected in his eyes. Then it disappeared behind that impassive face he generally wears. I didn't know what dark memories the bandanna had brought back, but whatever it was, I knew it had to be one of the reasons Vin keeps to himself so much of the time.
Up until that moment, I had thought the most significant event in his life was being framed for murder in Texas, but the hurt I had glimpsed made me wonder what else my friend had endured in his past.
I guess things had begun back to a few days before Judge Travis had arrived with Marshal Bryce. Mary had invited me to breakfast with her and Billy, something that's happening more frequently as I find myself more attracted to Mary with each passing day.
As we were finishing, Vin appeared from the front office of the Clarion with his hat in his hand. Mary offered him a cup of coffee and he talked with us a few moments until Billy left the room. Then, he quietly asked Mary if it was alright if he took Billy hunting with him for the day.
He had been promising to take the boy for weeks, but he kept putting it off. I was beginning to wonder why, until I realized he was afraid. Afraid to be around the kid very much for fear the boy could be caught in the crossfire if someone showed up to collect the bounty on his head.
I guess he had finally figured it was safe enough to let his guard down for a while. Good thing too, cause Billy has a big case of hero worship going for our quiet tracker. Funny thing is, Vin's not even aware of it. I mentioned it to him once and he laughed it off, saying I was wrong. He thinks Billy's only interest in him is his friendship with me. He just doesn't believe he has anything for the boy to admire.
I know he likes Billy. Vin likes everybody. Hell, everybody likes Vin. He just don't realize it. I guess that price on his head has made him have to learn to keep his distance from people. He's wary and a loner, but at the same time he's one of the most likable cusses I've ever run into.
A couple of times when we've seen Billy running and playing with J.D. and Casey, I've seen a look come across his face. A longing, almost like he wants to cut loose and join them, to maybe be a kid for a little while. It's always disappears too quick, but it got me to wondering if he ever had the chance to be a kid like that. Probably not.
Regardless of his reasons for asking, Mary gave her permission and by mid-morning Vin and Billy had ridden out. When they returned later in the afternoon, Billy had proudly displayed four fat rabbits for his mother's inspection. I couldn't help laughing at Mary's expression as a red-faced Vin grabbed at the carcasses and told Billy that as the hunters it was up to them to skin and gut their own kill.
Those rabbits made for some good eating' that night and Billy couldn't stop talking about what all he and Vin had done while they were out. It took a lot of will power on my part not to laugh at the strangled look of embarrassment that remained on Vin's face the entire night. If blushing was terminal, I'd be five hundred dollars richer today.
After that business with Marshall Bryce and Earl, we re-pack those army uniforms for the sergeant and I guess Billy must have found a bandanna in one of the boxes. I heard him ask the sergeant if he could have one, but didn't give it much thought, except that the boy wanted it for his ma.
Then this afternoon, Vin and I were over at the livery, unsaddling from the ride we'd made out to Nettie's when Billy showed up. I figured Billy had seen us ride in and was waiting for me to walk him back to his mama. I also saw he had a yellow piece of cloth behind his back, but I didn't say anything about it at the time. We finished settling the horses for the night, then as I went to the back of the stable to get a bucket of oats for our mounts, I saw Billy motion to Vin to come closer.
Vin knelt down in front of the boy as Billy brought his hand around and gave him the cloth with the explanation that it was for Vin to thank him for taking him hunting. I guess Billy figured Vin needed a new bandanna.
Tanner's face had paled and that hurt look had come to this eyes with a flash, before he recovered and thanked Billy for such a nice present.
Billy was pleased with himself and after we fed the horses he took my hand and we left.
I lost track of Vin for a while, but later I found him hold up in a dark corner of the saloon with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in front of him. I knew something was bad wrong. It was still daylight and Vin don't usually have more than one or two drinks before dark. Hell, he don't usually drink enough to get drunk, even at night. He can't afford to.
I watched until I figured the time was right then I approached him and after a bit of coaxing, got him to talk to me.
I can still hear the hurt in his voice and feel the tightness in my gut as he slowly told me about another yellow bandanna.
After the war, the army decided he was too young to be a soldier. I shook my head at that. He was old enough to fight during the war, but after he had proved himself and needed a place to stay they booted him out. Typical army logic.
Anyway, there was a Colonel that had taken a liking to him and knew he didn't have no particular place to go. The Colonel got orders to head back to Texas on account of some trouble they were having with Apaches and he let Vin tag along to help take care of the remuda. I think there's a whole lot more to that story, but Vin didn't let on.
It surprised me a little when Vin admitted to being a stubborn kid. Hell, I coulda bet on that. Wonder what makes him think he's any different now?
I stayed quiet and that funny lop-sided grin of his came to his face and he got this kind of faraway look while he was remembering. I know horse wrangling's hot and dusty work, cause I've done my share. And knowing Vin, I'd bet my last dollar he was doing the same amount of work as the soldiers and wouldn't have admitted to needing help with anything, even as a kid. I guess that Colonel knew him well enough to take notice of the dust and such, cause Vin said he gave him the bandanna from his uniform to cover his face.
Before the detachment reached the fort, a band of renegade Apache hit'em and run off the remuda and killed the Colonel. Vin didn't go into much detail, except to say that he held on to that Colonel's bandanna cause the man had treated him decent. He didn't say as much, but I figured that man must have been the closest thing to a father Vin ever knew.
He said after that, he overheard one of the other Colonels at the fort talk about sending him to an orphanage. He'd had enough of those, so he struck out on his own and wound up living with the Comanche off and on for the next couple of years.
He got real quiet after that and I thought for a minute he was done, but then he poured himself another drink and went on.
A couple of years later he was working on a ranch over around the Texas-New Mexico line when he met a little Mexican girl and started courtin' her. Things got pretty serious between them and they was gonna get married. Vin said he got a chance to hunt buffalo for the railroad, making good money. The girl, Roseanna, didn't want him to go, cause it meant he'd be heading west into an area where Comancheros had been stirring up trouble.
He got real quiet for a while and I thought he wasn't gonna continue, but after another drink, he finally did. He said he promised Roseanna he'd be careful and they'd be married when he returned. He still had that Colonel's yellow bandanna and left it for her to wear in her hair so she'd know he'd come back.
It wasn't long afterwards that he got word the Comancheros had been hittin' places back towards Texas. "I got a bad feelin'", he told me, "and lit out quick". I heard his voice catch and he reached for the bottle again. "Rode hard, day and night, but," he swallow hard. "I was too late."
I closed my eyes at the pain I heard in his voice. I knew what was coming. Under the tree where he'd said goodbye to the girl and promised he'd be back, he found a cross with his bandanna draped across it. The Comancheros had hit not long after he'd left.
This time, I knew he was done talking. He'd just said more at one time than he'd ever said in a single sittin' since I've known him, but I knew he was through this time.
He picked up the bottle and downed one drink after another. I knew exactly how he felt.
I don't guess he's ever let anyone close to him since.
That was a couple of hours ago. Now he's passed out drunk for the first time since I've known him. Maybe for the first time since he got that bounty on his head. But, Billy's bandanna brought up some painful memories, so I reckon he deserves to get drunk over it. God knows, I've done it enough times.
I'll make sure I stay and watch his back until he can bury his ghosts again. He's done it for me. It's the least I can do for him.
The End
