Ye Olde Costume Shoppe
Chris Larabee, leader of the ATF team - the Magnificent Seven, former Navy SEAL, and a decorated veteran of the Denver PD, wasn't entirely certain how he'd come to be here. In this particular place. In this particular shop. Looking for Halloween costumes with JD Dunne, the youngest member of Team 7. An expedition like this was not high on Chris's short list of THINGS HE LIKED TO DO.
He supposed Josiah would smile and say something about karmic justice, if asked. Ezra would shrug and point out that Chris had drawn the low card. Buck would gleefully point out that if Chris hadn't assigned him and Nathan to the world's most boring stakeout duty, then Chris wouldn't be in this position. It had been Buck and JD who were originally supposed to go. Vin wouldn't say a word. But then, he seldom had to. Chris just knew what he was thinking. No. He would receive no sympathy from the other members of his team for this. The tall, blond agent sighed and trudged along in his young companion's wake.
"...be great. I haven't been to a costume party since I was a kid. It sure was nice of AD Travis and Mary, I mean Mrs. Travis, to invite us to their's. Halloween used to be my favorite holiday. Dressing up. Pretending to be someone else." For just a second, a wistful note crept into the young agent's voice.
"My mom and I would sit up all night watching scary movies or telling ghost stories. I know some really..." JD fell silent as he realized Chris wasn't listening. He supposed he should be used to it by now. The older man seldom paid him any attention outside of work. If it had been anyone else, JD would almost have said he made the man nervous or uncomfortable. But he simply couldn't picture Chris Larabee feeling that way about anything. Least of all, him.
JD quickly banished the flicker of hurt that always accompanied these silent rejections, and focused on the task at hand. Namely, that of choosing costumes for the entire team to wear tonight.
Chris was only vaguely aware of JD talking. It was only when he stopped talking that Chris looked at him.
"Something wrong, JD?" he questioned, rifling idly through a rack of costumes. They were all like the ones the actors wore in that Shakespeare movie Mary had raved about. The one with Gwyneth Paltrow. Well, there was no way in hell, he was going to wear a pair of tights. And that was that. He turned to look at JD, who was going through the next rack over. And who hadn't answered his question.
"No. Nothing's wrong. Just want to get this over and get back to work, I guess." JD flushed slightly as he heard the bitterness lacing his words. He hoped Chris couldn't hear it. JD had no right to expect anything from the older man. Chris treated him like an equal at work. Well, as much as he did anyone. That was all that JD had the right to ask. But that didn't mean he couldn't want more. Like friendship. He kept his eyes resolutely ahead, concentrating on his task. Perhaps a monk's robe for Josiah?
"I thought you were looking forward to tonight?" Chris could have sworn JD was excited as all get out about this afternoon's outing. And about the party later on. He'd talked Chris's ear off the whole way here in the truck. What kinds of costumes the others might like. The night he and a friend had spent an hour, on a dare, in the local haunted house when he was twelve. What his favorite candy was. And a whole host of other things that Chris didn't remember. So why was JD so quiet all of a sudden?
"I was. I am." JD replied briefly, holding a brown robe up for Chris's inspection. "What do you think about this for Josiah?"
"Fine. Whatever." Chris stared thoughtfully at JD as he spoke. He recognized an attempt to change the subject when he heard one. What the hell was bugging the kid?
"Yeah. Whatever." JD echoed tonelessly.
Hearing his own words from his companion's lips, Chris frowned. Was that really how he sounded to the kid? So cold? So remote?
Abruptly, Chris felt rather like the ogre in some fairy tale. Stomping around. Spoiling everyone's fun. Just because he could.
He'd never really examined his reaction to JD before. He'd just accepted that they were on different wavelengths, from different generations, and let it go at that. But if he were honest with himself, he'd have to admit that being around JD was a reminder of what could have been. With Adam. His son. JD had the same light in his eyes, the same way of embracing life head on, that Adam had. But Adam was dead. And Chris had a hard enough time accepting that, without being constantly reminded of it. So he'd put up walls to keep the memories out. Walls that kept JD out, as well.
He had almost convinced himself that he was blowing things way out of proportion, that JD was upset for some other reason. Some reason that had nothing at all to do with Chris Larabee. Then he caught a glimpse of the younger man's eyes - the windows of the soul. JD's eyes, before he turned away, had revealed the hurt. And the yearning for something he'd never had. For something Chris could give him, if only he would.
Chris Larabee might be a hard man in many ways. Some might say in all ways. But he wasn't proof against the need he saw in those eyes. He could no longer deny responsibility. He just hoped he could measure up. Be the kind of man Adam would have been proud to call father. The kind JD would be proud to call friend.
Dredging up a smile, Chris tried to adopt a light, bantering tone. This no longer came easily or naturally. Bitter sarcasm had been much more his style in recent years.
"What do you think about this for Ezra?" Chris grabbed the first thing at hand and held it up for JD's inspection. It was a pair of tights. Green ones.
"They match his eyes, don't you think?" Chris was rewarded for his weak attempt at humor by a wide smile from JD. And by the light that was once again shining in the brown eyes.
"Robin Hood. That's perfect." JD crowed with delight. "Ezra will hate it, though." he added, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, the guy gave his money away, didn't he?"
Chris smiled, beginning to relax and actually enjoy himself a bit. He'd forgotten how much he used to like doing this with Adam. The thought caused a small pang of longing and pain in his chest. But this time, he didn't hide from it. He acknowledged it and then he moved away from it. Back to JD and the here and now.
"That's the idea, JD. That's the idea. If he liked it, what would be the fun in that?" Chris smirked a little as he pictured the southerner's reaction. Ezra really wouldn't like this. The tights alone were enough of an outrage. Toss in Robin Hood's half baked philosophy of brotherhood and charity and you had one unhappy southerner on your hands.
JD thought about the implications of Chris's words for a moment. Then he began going quickly through the costumes on an adjacent rack, obviously looking for something in particular.
"What do you think about this one for Vin?" JD asked a bit nervously, holding up the item he'd just found.
"I think you're a natural at this, JD." Chris motioned towards the back of the store. "Why don't we go check out the rest of the place?" Reaching out, he clapped JD on the back. "And after we get done here, how about I buy you lunch before we head back to the office? I have a feeling we shouldn't give the boys too much time to think about what they're gona be wearing tonight."
"Sounds good to me, Chris. Wouldn't want to give Buck the chance to weasel out of wearing the costume I've got in mind for him."
As the two men began making their way towards the back of the shop, JD began telling Chris about the time he'd gone to school one Halloween dressed up as his junior high principal and how he'd almost gotten suspended because the man had no sense of humor and...
This time Chris listened to every word.
The End