Characters: Chris and Vin

Notes: This was written for Maygra, in honor of her birthday. This is a story about gay-bashing and “coming out”.

Webmaster Note: This story was previously hosted at another website and was moved to blackraptor in June 2012.

Vin Tanner sighed as he pulled his jeep into a parking spot along the curb, shut the vehicle off, and slipped his lean body from behind the wheel. Stepping out onto the dark street, he scanned the area with a practiced, casual air, before he started down the block. Things were quiet, and his mind was set quickly at ease as he moved toward the building.

He just wished Chris had come with him. His mind drifted back to an hour earlier. They had been in his partner’s private office, not quite arguing about Tanner’s plans for the evening…

“But, its only gonna be fer a couple a hours. We’ll drink a couple a beers and play some pool. You don't have to go to the dance floor or nothin’, we can stay downstairs if y’ feel more comfortable about it.”

“Vin, it has nothing to do with being comfortable or not. Look I’ve got way too much paperwork to do right now to take off time to go play pool and drink beer. If I don’t get this stuff caught up tonight, Travis will have my neck.”

“That’s bull shit, and y’ know it, Chris. He ain’t gonna care if y’ got yer report ready tonight, he ain’t gonna know one way or the other til Monday. It’s Friday night, fer crissakes. Come on over t’ the club with me fer a couple a hours, and I’ll come help y’ get the damn things finished tomorrow. Y’ promised t’ go with me t' meet Jake and Alex tonight, Cowboy. They’re probably already waitin’.”

Larabee shook his head. “I’d rather get it done and over with. Look, you go on and have fun. Tell your friends I’m sorry, and I promise to come meet them soon. Okay?”

He sighed, feeling frustration replacing the earlier expectation of a night out on the town. He and his handsome, tall, blond boss had become involved with one another three months earlier, and spent as much time – both on and off the clock – together as possible. But either that time was spent hiding the depth of their relationship from the other members of the team of ATF agents, or alone together.

He wanted to go somewhere that would allow him to hold Chris in the company of others and not worry about how it looked. He wanted to enjoy the company of others while wrapped in the older man’s embrace. He just wanted to go someplace where their relationship was accepted. He was tired of hiding.

But Chris wasn’t ready for that yet.

Maybe he never would be.

He tried to understand. The man had been a straight arrow for almost forty years, had married and fathered a son. If fate hadn’t stepped in to take Sarah and Adam from Chris, he knew that the blond would still be happily married. He’d be nothing more to the other man than a friend and co-worker. If he was very lucky, he’d be invited out for Sunday dinner with the Larabee family, being a surrogate uncle to their children.

But fate had been cruel… and then kind. And they had found something in one another’s arms that neither had expected. Chris had known of Vin’s sexual orientation almost from the beginning. He had made certain of that, rather than risk the information being used to hurt his reputation on the team and cause a rift between himself and the others of Denver’s ATF Team Seven. Larabee had taken the information in stride and reassured him that it wouldn’t be a problem.

Then, six months later, his boss had become his lover. Finding himself with feelings he had never known before, from another man at least. The tall blond confessed both his feelings and his confusion to his team sharpshooter. Life became complicated and wonderful. He had found something with the other man that he had long ago given up hope of finding. He found happiness and joy, security and belonging.

If only Larabee would join him in celebrating it.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, the lanky Texan strode into the darkened bar. The sounds of a Cher song came to him from the second floor, where the dance floor was. He studied the crowd, and in turned was studied by it. Not one to dwell on his boyish good looks, Tanner was only slightly aware at the stir his appearance caused. Dressed in a tight, ribbed tank top under an open flannel shirt, tight blue jeans that were old and frayed, and worn boots, he made quite an impression on many of the men seated around the bar. His long, loosely curled chestnut hair framed an elfish face from which startlingly bright blue eyes peered into the shadows.

Stopping by the bar long enough to buy a beer, Vin strolled toward the back room, where the pool tables were housed. He quickly found his friends, smiling in greeting. Jake Callan and Alex Jessup were in the middle of a game of pool. At the moment, Jake was trying hard to spoil his lover’s shot by sliding his pool stick between Alex’s legs.

“Damn, Jake, y’ tryin’ t’ cheat, or are y’ propositionin’ him?” Vin teased as he strode up to meet the other men.

“Hey, Tanner! ‘Bout damn time you got here t’ rescue me from this connivin’ bastard,” Alex called out. As Tanner neared, he grabbed the slender, younger man in a bear hug.

“Hell, I’ll take what I can get, when I can get it, “ Callan joked as he sandwiched Vin between his lover and himself.

“All right, who’s got their hand on m’ butt?” Tanner rasped good naturedly.

~o~

Chris Larabee stood staring out of his office window, sighing as he watched the Denver traffic far below. He knew Vin was upset with him, but he couldn’t see himself changing anytime soon. Vin was comfortable with the gay lifestyle, but he wasn’t. Maybe when he came completely to terms with his new found sexuality he would, but he wasn’t certain that was going to happen any time soon.

Wrapping his arms around himself and leaning his head against the cool glass, Chris tried to will the headache from behind his eyes. Its arrival had coincided with Vin’s departure, as he tried once again to sort through his feelings.

Less than a year ago he had been firmly immersed in a heterosexual lifestyle. True, it had been more of a monk’s existence for four years now, but still, he knew what he liked. He liked women. Always had.

And then Vin had come into his life.

He wasn’t certain as to what exactly had happened to awaken an attraction to the other man, nor was he certain where it came from. He searched his memory for clues in his past that would indicate his preference for those of the same gender. But, there was nothing. What was more, he didn’t find himself looking at other men. At least not like he looked at Vin.

He had fought with his feelings for some time, only coming to terms with them when he almost lost the blue-eyed Texan. The two of them had begun a relationship tentatively, before finally giving in to their feelings and committing themselves to one another. Even now it was difficult for him to deal with the changes in his life, the need for secrecy the most difficult of all. He couldn’t even share his new found love life with his oldest friend, Buck Wilmington. There were times when it was almost painful to be in the same room with the other men, listening to them casually chatting about one woman or another, and not be able to say anything about what he and Vin now shared.

Chris’ mind drifted to that very afternoon. They had made an excuse to stay behind while the others went to lunch, after exchanging a single look that communicated a shared hunger having nothing to do with food…

Vin followed him into his office, closing and locking the door behind him. He turned, smiling, and beckoned for his lover to come closer. Tanner did, and he wrapped his arms around the lean waist. Already breathless with anticipation, Vin kissed him hard, his hands already pushing their way beneath his tight jeans.

“You’re impatient today,” Chris said with a smile.

“Ain’t impatient. ‘M horny,” Vin growled. “Had some hellacious dreams last night, Cowboy. Figure I’ll try and make some of ‘em come true today.”

“Dreams, huh? That why you were half an hour late?”

Grinning devilishly, Vin said nothing. Instead he reached between the denim and unbuttoned the older man’s tight black jeans and slid his hand down inside the boxers beneath. He looked up with a smile as Larabee responded with a soft groan. “Hmmm. Maybe I ain’t the only one havin’ dreams.”

“Shut up,” the blond growled, reaching down to pull his pants and boxers off. He pulled off his boots and socks, following it with his shirt. While he pulled his own clothes off, his eyes were glued on his partner. Vin was peeling his own clothes off as quickly as possible. In less than a minute the two men stood beneath the glare of the office lights, completely nude.

Vin padded over to turn off the lights, while Chris retrieved a towel, wash cloth, and a bottle of lube from his little bathroom. Setting them on the coffee table, he dropped onto the couch, beckoning the younger man to join him. Tanner grinned and sprawled along his lover’s body, nipping at the blond’s full lips.

They said nothing more, simply lost in one another’s presence. Larabee wrapped his arms around the slender body, pulling him close. The Texan’s tongue breeched his lips, its rough surface scraping along his teeth before delving inside to spar with his own tongue. Both men became painfully aware of their cocks growing harder, trapped between their sweating bodies.

Chris pushed Vin upward, urging him to slide around until he was on his back against the couch cushions. The blond knelt between the long, lean legs, smiling lustfully up the trim body at his lover. His head dipped down, and he ran his lips along the pulsing cock.

Vin groaned and arched upward, urging his lover to take more of him in that hot, talented mouth. Larabee obliged, taking the entire length of him in his mouth. He sucked, licked, rubbed, nipped and caressed until Tanner thought he would lose his mind. He could do nothing more than groan, moaning as he pulled his lover’s head ever closer to his body.

The older man moved along the other man’s cock with growing urgency, sucking and pulling at the swollen member. He slipped a hand beneath Vin’s cock, finding the heavy, swollen sac beneath. Rolling the man’s balls sensually, he was rewarded by a choked cry from his lover as he brought Tanner closer and closer to an orgasm. He felt the body beneath him tense, straining against him. Finally, sensing Tanner’s need, he sent the younger man over the edge, tasting the hot, salty cum as it filled his mouth.

Tanner trembled as his body rode through its orgasm, finally coming to rest as he sank into the thick cushions beneath him. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he slanted a look up at his partner. Larabee was looking down at him, hazel eyes dark with lust. He smiled, his hand sliding down the trim body in search of his own hard cock. Finding it, he scraped a nail gently down its length, watching as Chris shivered with desire.

The blond slid from the couch to stand on shaking legs, then motioned to the blue eyed man. At his urging, Vin slipped from the couch, going to his knees beside it. Larabee dropped to his knees as well, positioning himself behind his lover. Reaching for the lube, he coated two fingers with the thick liquid. Pushing Vin forward to rest across the couch seat, he pushed the slick fingers between the other man's trim ass cheeks. Watching Tanner press himself farther into the cushions, he pushed past the tight ring of muscle, probing the other man’s hole. Tanner moaned, pressing back against his hand impatiently.

Removing his fingers, despite the muttered protests, Chris rubbed more of the lube along his painfully hard cock. Spreading the taut ass cheeks, he pressed the tip of his cock against the pulsing hole beneath. Again Vin moaned, body arching against the pressure as he was breached with a slow, steady movement.

Pushing himself upward, his hard-on surrounded by greedy, tightening muscles until he was inside completely inside Tanner. Grasping the trim hips, he pulled out until only the head of his cock was still surrounded by the other man, then pushed inside with more urgency. He began to rock, his cock sliding in and out of the tight ass, the rhythm of his movements becoming more and more rapid. Soon the two men were panting, groaning, and crying out as their love-making neared its conclusion.

With a final thrust, Chris came, his seed filling his lover as he did. As he rode through his orgasm, he slid forward, his body covering the one beneath him.

The team leader shook himself from his memories, realizing that his cock was straining once more against his jeans. Still looking out the window into the darkness, knowing he was invisible to the outside world, he loosened the black material and released his heavy cock.

~o~

Vin swallowed the last drop of beer from the bottle, dropping the empty into the nearby trash can. He looked across the pool table to where Alex and Jake had forgotten the game momentarily. The two men were lost in an embrace, leaning against the wall behind the table. With a grin, he dropped a solid red ball into the nearest pocket.

“I saw that,” Alex chastised, looking over at the smiling man.

“What?” Vin tried to look innocent as he stared back at the other man.

“You’re not nearly as slick as you think you are, Tanner,” the man said, releasing his partner and returning to the table.

“Well, hell, I was gettin’ tired of waitin’ fer y’all to git done over there. Just thought I’d hurry things along a bit. ‘Sides, y’all look like y’ might have somethin’ else y’d rather be doin’.”

Jake chuckled. “Oh hell, we’ve been married for so long there’s no surprise. We can do ‘somethin’ else’ any time.”

“And probably do, too,” the Texan chuckled. Then looking at his watch, he sighed. “Well, I ain’t got that problem. Think I’m gonna go rescue Chris from his paperwork and see if I can work some a the kinks outta his muscles.”

Feigning a frown, Alex said, “But you just got here.”

Shaking his head, the lean man said, “been three hours, pard.”

The other two men came to stand next to him, each wrapping him in a hug. They said their good-byes, watching as the handsome young man strode from the room. His steps were only a little unsteady, barely acknowledging the number of beers he had downed while they played pool.

Outside the bar, Tanner stopped long enough to take a deep breath, inhaling the crisp night air gratefully. He enjoyed visiting the bar, but the stale, smoky air always left him craving the outdoors. Shoving his hands into his jeans, he started down the block toward his jeep.

The half dozen beers he had consumed had dulled his senses just enough, and he didn’t hear the approach of the men until it was too late.

“Faggot.” The word was spit out venomously, and slurred from too much alcohol.

Vin barely hesitated at the call, quickening his pace only slightly. He heard the men following him, and cursed the fact that he had left his gun and government identification locked up inside the jeep. Moving a little quicker, he fingered the keys in his jeans pocket, knowing that, if he could just get to the jeep, things would be all right.

He felt a beer can strike him between the shoulder blades, and a harshly delivered, “Fuckin’ fag!”

He wasn’t going to make it, but he would try. He didn’t want a fight. Not here. Not like this.

Hands grabbed him roughly, jerking him around. He stared evenly at the trio of narrow minded drunks. He blocked their blows easily for several minutes, until one of the men landed a lucky blow that left him reeling. The Texan would have gone down, but his attackers held him up with their fists. He struggled, doing his best to fend off the attack, but finally surrendered to the sheer volume of blows. He fell to the ground, their fists following him, replaced by steel-toed boots that kicked him, cracking ribs and drawing blood from a dozen new cuts and gashes in his lean body.

Then, finally, the attack was over. For whatever reason, the men stumbled and staggered away, leaving him lying on the sidewalk. After several minutes, Tanner gathered the strength to open his eyes, looking up with growing amazement. He was lying right next to his jeep.

With fingers that protested his command to move, he struggled to retrieve his keys from his pocket. It seemed to take forever but, finally, he had them in one trembling hand. Biting back a cry as he felt bone grate against bone and muscles scream as they threatened to tear, he pulled himself to his knees. Leaning heavily against the cool surface of the vehicle, he managed to get the key into the lock and opened the door.

It seemed to take forever, but he pulled himself up onto the worn leather seat, dragging his legs in and closing the door behind him. Palming the lock, he sighed raggedly, feeling safer now. They would have to break in to get him this time. Fumbling with the glove box lock, he opened the little door and found his cell phone. It seemed to weigh several pounds rather than a few ounces as he drew it from the clutter of fast food napkins and unopened packets of catchup. Getting it opened, he tried three times before he managed to speed dial Chris’ number.

“Larabee.”

“Ch… Chris,” he managed to gasp out through swollen and bloody lips.

”Vin? You’re drunk.”

“Help… help, me. Oh God!” He gasped as pain seared through his tortured body.

“Vin? Vin!”

“Chris… oh, shit. I’m… I’m hu… I’m hurt,” he moaned the words.

“Vin? Where are you?”

“Jeep… I’m… I’m in… jeep.”

“Where? Where’s the jeep cowboy?” On the other end of the conversation, Chris was already out the door of team seven’s suite of offices, striding with long steps toward the elevator.

“By… by th’ bar. Jus’ wes’ a th’ bar… bout… bout… oh, God it hurts,” pain tore his attention away from what he was saying.

“How far away from the bar Vin? How far?” He couldn’t keep the panic from his voice.

“Block… ‘bout a bl-block.”

“All right, hang on. I’m on my way.”

“Hur… hurry. Need y’… need y’ Chris.”

~o~

Time dragged to a standstill as he barely managed to suffer the elevator ride to the basement garage without ripping the elevator car apart. As soon as the doors opened, he bolted across the concrete, retrieving his car keys as he sped toward his black Truck. The entire time, he kept talking into his cell. Vin managed a moan here and there, letting him know he was still listening.

He got into the big vehicle, shoving the key into the ignition and practically breaking it in his rush to get to his lover. Slamming the truck into reverse, he backed out of the parking space, not even breaking before he shoved it into drive and sped full out from the garage.

Darting in and out of the late night traffic, he didn’t slow until he reached the bar Vin had gone to. Only then did he allow the speedometer needle to drop, rolling down the street West of where he should have been with his lover. Should have been.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed into the phone. Then he let loose a sigh of relief as the battered form of his partner’s jeep came into view. Leaving his lights on and activating the blinkers, he parked in the middle of the street and hurried around to where he saw the huddled form of the younger man in the passenger seat. Reaching the door, he found it locked.

“Vin, can you unlock the door?” He spoke both into the phone and through the glass. “Baby, I’m right outside, I need you to let me in.”

Slowly the other man responded, looking through the window to see the form of his partner. “Chr… Chris?”

“Right here. Let me in?”

With painful movements, Tanner managed to unlock the door. Larabee opened it carefully, not wanting his lover to be jostled anymore than necessary. As the door opened, he reached out to steady the other man. Vin’s hand clamped itself to his arm, gripping with a strength he shouldn’t have at the moment.

“Sh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Chris comforted. “I’m going to call for an ambulance – “

“No… n-not here… don’t wan’ ‘m… here… I’ll be… ‘kay… jus’ take me… home.”

“No! You’re going to the hospital Tanner.”

“No… no am’lance,” Vin mumbled.

Sighing, Larabee said, “then we’ll go in my truck. Come on, let’s get you out of here.” He slid one arm around the hunched back and another beneath the man’s knees, pulling Vin from the jeep. With swift movements, he carried the semi-conscious man around and placed him carefully in the passenger seat of the Ram. Hurrying back and locking up the jeep, he slid behind the wheel of his truck and sent them hurrying along the road toward the nearest hospital.

Managing to look up from where he lay slumped against the seat, Vin managed a slight smile. Reaching out a trembling hand, he once more clutched at his partner’s arm. Chris slipped out of his grasp and took the man’s hand in his, holding it tenderly while he continued toward the hospital.

~o~

Saturday morning dawned as gray and bleak as Chris Larabee’s mood. He stretched stiffly up from the hard waiting room chair, and began pacing around the small area. He had gotten Vin to the ER, reluctantly handing his younger lover over to the medical staff. Relegated to the waiting room, he considered calling on one of the others for company, but decided against it. Instead he spent the hours alone, waiting for some word on the other man’s condition.

Just as he was ready to go looking for information again, figuring there had to be someone who would still speak to him, he heard a soft voice at the doorway.

“I’m looking for Chris Larabee.”

“Yes,” he looked to see a young nurse regarding him, “I’m Larabee.”

“The doctor would like you to come back into the examination room. Would you follow me?”

Nodding, the blond strode across the room and followed the young woman from the waiting area and into the ER. They walked past several cubicles before entering one. There he found his partner, lying on the narrow gurney, arguing with the other person in the room. The doctor. Vin wore a frown, along with a variety of cuts and bruises. None of it made Tanner any less desirable in Chris’ eyes. He pulled his gaze from the young Texan and regarded the man standing beside him.

“How is he, doctor?”

“Stubborn,” came the reply. “I’ve told mister Tanner that we need to monitor his condition for the next 48 hours, but he’s insisting that he be released.”

Folding his arms across his broad chest, the older agent leveled a glare at the man on the examination table. Before he could say anything, the recipient of that glare spoke up.

“Put that damn glare back in yer pocket, ol’ man. Th’ doc done said there ain’t nothin’ serious wrong. Cain’t see layin’ on my back when there ain’t no need.”

“That’s not exactly what I said,” the medical professional disagreed, his voice expressing his growing frustration.

Not able to help smiling in sympathy, Larabee said, “then what exactly is the story, doc?”

“Mister Tanner – “

“Would y’ call me Vin? I hear ‘mister’ ‘n I think I’m in trouble,” the battered man interrupted.

Giving his patient a look that said clearly he was in trouble, the doctor began again, “Vin has three broken ribs, several torn muscles, and bruised kidneys. That, on top of a minor concussion and a variety of cuts and bruises concentrated on his upper body. While none of this is life threatening… as yet… we need to keep him here under observation for a couple of days to watch for complications.”

“Ah hell, doc, I’ve been busted up worse than this, more than once. I’ll take it easy, but I can sleep a site better outta here.”

“Yes, well we can help you sleep just fine here, too,” the doctor argued.

Impressed with the glare the medical man leveled on his young lover, Chris was hard pressed to keep from laughing. Managing to keep a straight face, the blond said, “doctor, could I have a minute alone with mister Tanner?”

Considering the man in black’s request for a minute, the doctor finally nodded and said, “I’ll be right outside. Don’t let him get up.”

Waiting for the man to leave the cubicle, Chris hitched a hip on the side of the narrow bed. He gently stroked a hand along the battered face, his eyes never leaving the swollen ones that looked back at him. Taking a deep breath, he said softly, “Vin, please stay here like the doctor asked.”

“Chris, y’ know I cain’t stand layin’ ‘round in here doin’ nothin’. Least if I’m home I can rest in m’ own bed.”

“Vin, you know as well as I do that if you leave here you’ll be pushing yourself by this afternoon. You won’t rest. The last time you got hurt, you were out playing with the kids in the neighborhood an hour after you drove yourself home.”

“I was only teachin’ a couple a the little ones t’ play ball, and I only had a concussion that time.”

“Yeah, and when I came over to check on you that evening, you passed out on me.”

“I just got a little dizzy’s all, weren’t nothin’ – “

“Nothing but a complication because you refused to take care of yourself,” Larabee’s stern voice was belied by the gentle caress he delivered along the other man’s swollen jaw. “I need you to take care of yourself, Vin. I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

Sighing, Tanner snuggled against his lover’s hand. He looked up and saw the pain in the other man’s eyes, heard it in his voice. “Y’ don’t play fair, Larabee.”

With a soft chuckle, Chris said, “never claimed to.”

~o~

The next forty-eight hours passed slowly for the two lovers. Chris spent as much of his time as possible at the hospital, both keeping Vin company and making certain the young man complied with the hospital staff. Despite his claim that he was fine, the handsome Texan spent much of the time sleeping. He woke slowly, but his mind was clear when Larabee or the nurses asked him questions.

He swore to his boss that he had no memory of the men who had attacked him. He had been just drunk enough, the night dark enough, and the attack swift enough, that he hadn’t gotten a good look at them. The agent questioned him time and again, hoping to get some idea as to the identity of the men who had so savagely beaten his lover.

Vin watched Chris, saw the unmistakable signs of guilt and self-recrimination in the blond’s handsome face. “Why the hell do y’ think any of this is yer fault?”

Taken aback at the pointblank question, the blond could only reply, “what?”

“What happened t’ me. Why y’ blamin’ yerself?”

“I’m not.”

“Bull shit.”

“Vin – “

“I think I know y’ well enough by now, Chris Larabee, t’ know when you’re taken on a load a guilt over somethin’. Well, I’m here t’ tell y’ right now, y’ bull headed fool, stop it right now. Ain’t a bit a this yer doin’, and I won’t put up with y’ doin’ some penance y’ set fer yerself.”

Hanging his head, the blond sank to the bed next to his lover. “But, if I had been there with you – “

“We might a been able t’ kick their punk asses. Or, we could a both of us gotten beat. Fact is, though, it ain’t gonna do a lick a good t’ think on it, cause it’s done and over with.”

“If you could remember what they looked like, I’d be making certain of that,” Larabee’s voice went as dark as his clothing.

With a sigh, Tanner said, “and what good would that do? It ain’t gonna make me hurt any less, and we’d have a lot a questions facin’ us that y’ don’t wanna be answerin’.”

The older man’s head shot up, eyes wide. “Vin, I – “

Placing his hand over his lover’s mouth, Tanner said softly, “s’okay, Chris. Look, I ain’t blind, and I ain’t stupid. Y’ didn’t have no paperwork that had t’ be finished the other night. Y’ still got a lot of questions in yer mind ‘bout all this. S’only natural. Y’ think yer the first man t’ jump the fence, then wonder how he got there?”

Taking the slender hand in his and kissing the long fingers gently, the blond said, “I don’t have any questions about us, Vin.”

Grinning as widely as his bruised features would allow, the younger man replied, “y’ better not.”

“But, yes, you’re right. I’m still… I just… I don’t understand exactly what’s going on.”

Nodding, Tanner said, “Cain’t say it’s gonna get better any time soon, neither. This ain’t an easy path, Chris. I’ve been walkin’ it a lot longer than you, but I still wonder if what I’m doing is th’ right thing for me.”

Larabee’s reply was cut off when the two men heard the room’s door open. He dropped Vin’s hand and hurriedly stood. The two men exchanged a look, a silent communication. Chris apologized once again with his eyes, Vin smiling to let him know he understood.

~o~

Monday morning brought sunshine and warm breezes. Vin Tanner had not shown any signs of developing complications from his injuries, and the doctor decided that he could go home. He was still in a lot of pain, and unable to move very easily, but he would be fine in a week or two. He agreed to go to Chris’ ranch for a few days with little argument. In truth, he looked forward to being cared for by the other man until he was well enough to be on his own. And, for once, he wasn’t in any hurry to rush things.

Larabee had gone into the office long enough to let the others know that Vin had been injured and that he was going to take him out to his place until he was better. He shoved enough work in his briefcase to keep himself busy for the next couple days at least, and left Josiah in charge of the team until his return.

They rode in comfortable silence through Denver, traveling out of town toward Larabee’s home. Vin lounged back in the seat, enjoying the freedom and fresh air. He glanced over at his lover, smiling broadly. “I suppose yer gonna make me eat healthy while I’m out there.”

“Anything would be healthier than your normal diet,” Chris teased. “But I did pick up a few packs of junk food for you. Wouldn’t want to throw your system into shock so soon.”

Grinning mischievously, the younger man said, “got chocolate?”

Feigning a disapproving sigh, the other man said, “yes, I got chocolate.”

“Chips ‘n salsa?”

“Yes.”

“Beer?”

“The doctor said no alcohol until you get a clean bill of health.”

Pouting, Tanner said, “hell, what good ‘r chips ‘n salsa without beer?”

“You can experiment… see what they’re like with water.”

“Water!?”

“Water.”

“Ah hell.”

~o~

Vin opened his eyes with a contented sigh, looking around the room. He was in Larabee’s master bedroom, tucked into the big bed he had been sharing with the other man more and more frequently. He vaguely remembered stumbling from the black Ram and shuffling into the big ranch house with Chris’ arm around him. He had protested only a minute at the thought of going straight to bed, but went quietly in the end. His partner had helped him out of his clothes, mindful of the bruises over his chest as well as the myriad of dark bruises and scabby cuts all over his upper body. The older man coaxed him down onto the mattress, carefully pulling the comforter up over him. Vin remembered smiling as Larabee kissed him gently and brushed his hair back, his hand lingering along his face. Then the long car ride and the pain medication won out, and he drifted into oblivion.

Pulling himself stiffly up, he sat on the edge of the mattress for a minute while the room stopped spinning. He had only his boxers on, but the thought of bending to retrieve his jeans and shirt seemed overwhelming at the moment. Dragging himself to his feet, he limped with short, uneven steps, out of the room and down the hallway. The clacking sounds of someone on a keyboard took him to the den. Pausing in the doorway, he watched Larabee. The blond was hunched over his computer keyboard, banging away at what appeared to be a report.

“More paperwork?” He drawled in a raspy, sleep-filled voice.

Chris started and wheeled around. Hurrying across the room, he said, “You’re supposed to be resting.”

Allowing the blond to take his elbow and lead him to the loveseat nearby, Vin said, “been restin’. I rest much more, and I’m gonna take root.”

Settling his injured lover onto the short couch, Chris lifted the long legs up onto the cushions. Spreading the afghan from the back of the loveseat over the lean body, he said, “it’s only been a couple of hours. How’s the pain? Want a drink, or something to eat?”

Shaking his head at the uncustomary spate of questions, Tanner said, “I’m fine. Just got a little lonely in there’s all.”

Kneeling next to the injured man, the older man said, “lonely huh? Well, you stay in here and keep me company then. When I’m done, we’ll get something to eat and then we’ll keep one another company back in bed.”

Reaching up, Vin wove his fingers through the thick blond locks. “company, huh?”

Chuckling at the wicked glint in the still swollen blue eyes, Chris carefully pulled away from his lover’s hold and said, “get your mind above your boxers, Tanner. I am not going to send you back to the hospital with a relapse.”

“Ah, hell Chris, we could – “

“No. Period. Now, let me go finish this report… and yes, it is one I need to get finished to keep Travis from taking my head off tomorrow… so I can devote the rest of the night to taking care of you, okay?”

Vin smiled, “like the sound of that.”

Sighing in frustration, Larabee said, “you’re incorrigible.”

Effecting a puzzled expression, Tanner said, “that a good thing?”

“No,” Chris said simply, pushing himself back to his feet and returning to his work.

“Really? Sounds kind of… sexy I’m thinkin’.”

“No,” the blond repeated.

“Y’ sure? Maybe y’ need t’ look ‘t up, sounds kind ‘a like – “

“Tanner, shut up.”

The injured man chuckled, settled into the deep cushions, and let the sound of his partner working at the desk lull him into a doze.

~o~

“Seems awful… ow… early t’ be turnin’ in,” Vin complained, wincing as his body protested his choice of position.

“Both of us could use an early night, pard,” Chris replied as he helped the injured man find a comfortable position on the big bed. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired.”

Trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn, Tanner said, “hell, all I’ve been doin’s layin’ around. How can I be tired?”

Larabee chose not to answer his partner, knowing that Vin would be sleeping soon enough. Pulling the covers up over the slender body, he stepped around the bed. Quickly stripping down to his boxers as well, he slid in next to the Texan. Carefully, mindful of the other man’s injuries, he pulled him up to rest against his chest. Common sense told him that Vin would be better off sleeping alone, but his heart argued the point. Despite his independent streak, the man who had become the center of his universe enjoyed being held. Especially at times like this. And especially by him.

Snuggling against his partner’s broad chest, Vin sighed in utter contentment as he listened to the man’s strong, steady heartbeat. For the first time since leaving the bar, he felt relaxed and safe. Taking Chris’ hand in his, he placed them both against his chest. “Reckon even if I ain’t tired, I could get real used t’ laying here like this.”

“Reckon,” Larabee agreed softly, laying his cheek against the top of the tousled curls.

“Still ponderin’ things, ain’t y’?”

“Yeah,” Chris replied, “yeah I am. I’m sorry.”

“Now what are y’ guiltin’ yerself about?”

“I’m not ‘guilting’ myself about anything. I’m just… well… ah hell, I don’t know.”

“Let ‘t lay a day or two. Seems t’ me y’ need a bit a time t’ get things straight in yer mind.”

“Not sure a day or two is going to be enough,” Larabee argued.

“Maybe not,” Vin said, his loose curls tickling Chris’ chest as he nodded in agreement.

Heaving a deep sigh, the blond settled back against the pillows, one arm beneath his head and the other wrapped protectively around his lover. He stared toward the ceiling, letting his mind wander where it would.

None of this was fair to Vin. His lover deserved a partner who could cope with living in the world of the gay community without reservation.

But was he ready to be that lover?

He had never once questioned his sexuality. Could not point to even a fleeting thought that would indicate he was anything other than heterosexual.

But, oh lord how he loved Vin Tanner.

He had never sought to be the center of attention, but neither had he slid into the shadows. He had always lived freely and openly, not caring what anyone thought.

But could he face his oldest friend and tell him that he was gay?

Sarah had been the center of his world for more than twelve years, joined there by the embodiment of their love when Adam was born. He enjoyed the life they shared.

But he enjoyed the life he was only now beginning to share with Vin.

“Chris?”

Tanner’s voice pulling him from his thoughts, the blond answered, “yeah?”

“Mind loosenin’ yer grip a bit? I ain’t healed up quite that much.”

Realizing that he was holding the slender man far tighter than he intended, Larabee colored as he relaxed his arm, allowing Vin to shrug the ache away. “Sorry, guess I was just… thinking.”

“It's okay. Come t’ any conclusions?”

“No, but I’ve got a lot more questions to answer.”

“Seems t’ be the way of it.”

“Am I being silly?”

Vin lifted his head, staring at the other man. “Nope, why’d y’ think that?”

“I don’t know. I mean, it just seems like when we’re together, I know what I want. I love you Vin, that’s been clear to me for a long time. But… I don’t know. When I bring the rest of the world into the equation – “

“Things get a bit muddled.”

“Yeah.” Chris frowned down at his lover. “Did you ever have that problem?”

Unable to help himself, Tanner laughed until tears rolled down his battered face. When he could finally speak, he said, “well hell, ol’ man, what do y' think? Y’ think I woke up one day t’ find that puberty hit and I had a hard on fer Starsky and Hutch, and didn’t worry about it? A course I had that problem. Don’t know many fags that ain’t. ‘Less we find some kind a Shangril-la where the Dali Lama says fuckin’ another man’s okay, don’t know that we’ll all live happily ever after.”

Scrubbing his hand along his handsome features, Larabee said only, “Guess it was a pretty stupid question.”

“Nah, not really. Look, Chris, you’re still tryin’ t’ figure out where our relationship fits into your life. I understand that. Y’ wouldn’t be the man I love unless y’ was. I’m patient, Cowboy, I can wait if y’ need some time t’ sort it all out. I can give y’ space, if y’ need it.” He started to pull away, but the other man’s strong arm held him against his chest.

“I might need some time to sort it all out, but I need you right here, with me,” the blond stroked a hand through the long, loose curls.

Smiling, and snuggling back against his partner’s chest, Tanner said with a yawn, “I can do that, too.”

Larabee smiled, feeling the lean body relax against him as Vin drifted back to sleep. As the other man began to snore softly, warm breath brushing across his chest from slightly parted lips. Chris groaned as he felt his body respond to the contact, one hand sliding beneath his boxers to relieve the ache growing between his legs.

Maybe some questions were never meant to be answered. Sometimes you just had to go with what felt right.

The End