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Part of the Reunion Series
Part One
Chris was surprised, pleasantly so, to see his lover nearly vibrating with excitement and energy. Ezra was usually so careful to keep up his façade of indifference to life, but today he was acting not only happy, but young. And while some part of him felt old next to his beautiful firecracker, the rest of him was ecstatic to see Ezra acting his age for once. They were waiting at the airport gate, picking up Ezra’s college friend. Two weeks ago, he’d called and said he was coming to Denver. Ezra naturally invited him to stay at the ranch. It wasn’t like Derek didn’t know the southerner was bisexual, and Chris also knew that Derek himself was gay. So, he’d raised no arguments, happy to be able to meet anyone from Ezra’s past that evoked good memories. They were unfortunately all too rare.
“ That’s Derek.” Ezra did not point, that would be rude, but inclined his head towards a particular man approaching them. He was tan, with blond hair and a lanky but muscular figure that reminded Chris of his own when he was in the Navy, dressed in clothes that managed to look even more expensive than Ezra‘s. The leader also couldn’t help but notice that Derek was, even in his opinion, a very good looking man.
“ Derek!” Ezra called, giving a slight wave that was unnecessary, as Chris could tell that the other man had already recognized the southerner. Derek lightly dropped his bags in front of them, and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. While Chris had stiffened at the physical familiarity between the two men, he barely managed to restrain himself from violence when Derek pulled back slightly, just to drop a kiss on Ezra’s lips that seemed far more than ‘just friends’ to the older man.
“ Derek.” Ezra broke the kiss, but was laughing and ignoring the looks, some condemning, some approving, most just surprised, from the people around them. “Derek Worthington, meet Chris Larabee. Chris, this is Derek.”
“ Great to meet you.” Derek smiled broadly, and hugged the highly surprised ATF leader.
“ Derek.” Ezra chastised once more, but there didn’t seem to be too much heat in it. “Not everyone enjoys your refusal to acknowledge personal space. I am sorry, Chris. I’ve tried to keep him from jumping people…but he’s like a puppy I can’t quite housetrain.”
“ If I wag my tail will you forgive me?”
“ Derek.”
“ You can spank me if you like.” Derek picked up a suitcase, and Ezra grabbed the other, as the southerner unsuccessfully tried to dodge the taller man’s swipe at his ass. As happy as Chris had been to see Ezra looking forward to this visit, he decided then and there he didn’t like or trust Derek Worthington.
Part Two
The ride back to the ranch was as enlightening for Chris as it was confusing. After more than two years together, and more than a year before that working every day with the southerner, Chris had been sure that he knew every side of his lover. He was proven mightily wrong within an hour of Derek stepping off the plane in Denver. The two friends caught up on each other’s lives in the rear seat, before bringing up what must surely be every embarrassing story from college.
“ I still can’t believe you and April at the Alpha House party junior year.”
“ We were rather inebriated.” Ezra defended, reddening at the memory. Well, what he could remember of that night, anyway. Rather large blocks of time were missing entirely.
“ Yeah, but what a show!” Derek teased, then looked towards the driver. “Ever do that with him?”
“ Oh yes, at the Bureau Christmas Gala, of course.” The sarcasm was heavy in the southern voice. “ Are you insane? We’d be lucky to only be fired.”
“ Do what?” Chris asked, trying to imagine his lover and the woman he’d met last spring together. It was a difficult task.
“ Live sex in the middle of the living room.” Derek answered before Ezra clapped a hand over his mouth.
“ What?!” Chris was shocked. Ezra was usually the one who preferred to take their activities to the bedroom, even alone in the house.
“ Oh yeah. Alpha House was usually a bit wild, but I think that’s a record breaker. I don’t know who go more numbers after that, Ezra or April.”
“ I did.” Ezra replied, still blushing but looking smug. “Fourteen that I still had in the morning. April only got ten. Of course, two of mine were from men…not sure that counts.”
“ Not like you’re opposed to the idea, Pey’. Speaking of, how’s life on my side of the fence?”
“ Not as easy as you make it look.” Ezra replied, ignoring the look that comment earned from his lover. “ Of course, working together makes it a bit more complicated. And there’s been other…problems.”
“ There’s problems in every relationship, Ezra.”
“ I know. How’s Del?”
“ Making himself miserable and marrying the girl his Daddy picked out.” Derek shrugged, having known that particular revelation was coming for some months. His ex-boyfriend was not known for being able to stand up to his family’s expectations. It didn’t help that Del was his father’s only son.
“ I’m sorry.”
“ Don’t be. His choice, and it wasn’t like we were all that exclusive.”
“ You’ve always had trouble settling on any one man. Anyone new then?”
“ You know I’m still holding out for you, Pey’.” Derek pulled the smaller man against him in a tight hug. “It was love at first sight.”
“ It was not.” Ezra laughed, remembering meeting Derek for the first time. “It was schwinning at first sight. You ran into me with your bicycle, and insisted on walking me back to my dorm. You spent the entire time talking about Nick, your boyfriend!”
“ Nick-shmick. It was all about you from that day forward.”
“ Derek.” Ezra tensed, seeing Chris’ rather serious face.
“ Sorry. No offense, Chris. I’m just playing with the kid.”
“ Yeah.” Chris managed to speak without sounding like he was contemplating murder, which he currently was. He couldn’t really decide who to kill; Ezra, himself, or Derek. The frontrunner at the moment was Worthington.
“ Speaking of the she-devil, rumor has it you and she tangled again last spring.”
“ How’d you hear about that? And it was rather one-sided. April wished to renew our…entanglement. I did not, and informed her of such. She attempted to cause a situation within the ATF.”
“ Her idea of a relationship usually IS rather one-sided. And, my dear boy, I hear about EVERYTHING. Particularly considering that April’s little sister is married to my younger brother.”
“ Ryan finally got up the nerve to ask Lacey?”
“ Years ago, boy-o. They’ve got kids, believe it or not. Twin boys, James and Henry, who are four, and a little girl who is a year and a half, Elizabeth.”
“ Good. They made a nice couple.” Ezra smiled, thinking about Derek’s brother, who’d followed them to Harvard. He’d been a freshman their senior year, and had always been something of an adopted little brother for Ezra. He’d lost contact in Atlanta, as he had with nearly everyone. “I’m sorry I missed the wedding. When was it?”
“ August of ‘98. We sent the invitation to your place in New York. Found out later it had missed you in the move.”
“ I’ll have to find a way to make an appropriate apology.”
“ I think Ryan was glad you missed it, Ezra.” Derek sighed, thinking about the wedding. It had been beautiful, and his brother dearly loved Lacey, she was the polar opposite of her older sister, but April and Mitchell had both been there, and Ezra’s presence would have made it even more uncomfortable than it was anyway. “ April was her usual self, probably would have either started a fight or been in your pants two minutes after you walked in the door.”
“ Derek! It was in a church! It was, wasn’t it?”
“ Yeah. I don’t think that ever stopped April, or you, before. Remember Dave Staunton’s wedding?” Derek laughed uproariously at the look on Ezra’s face. Chris pulled his attention back onto the road, just before he would have missed their exit. As much as he might not like Worthington, he was certainly ruining many of Chris’ ideas about his lover’s inhibitions.
“ That wasn’t in the church, per se.” Ezra defended, despite the bright blush to his features.
“ Reverend Billingsley certainly thought it was! I still can’t believe you got caught by the man who’d just married one of our friends! The look on the Rev’s face…legendary.”
“ We didn’t get caught. Not really.” Ezra ducked his head, but felt the disbelieving look nonetheless. “ We had our clothes on!”
“ Yeah, but not SHUT!”
“ Derek. Can we not bring up every thing I ever did with April that I regretted later?”
“ Sure, Pey’. Hey, how did April never figure out your middle name was Peyton, anyway? Lacey seemed shocked when she found out, and I think everyone heard Mitchell Forrester’s indignant shout about his daughter being that close to marrying one of THOSE Standishes. I mean, hell, we only called you Peyton more than we did Ezra.”
“ Amazing, isn’t it, that she got into Harvard at all? And you never called me Peyton. You insist on calling me “Pey”, and it is as aggravating as my current compatriots’ insistence on referring to me as “Ez”. Neither name is precisely difficult to pronounce.”
“ Oh, you should have heard Lacey talking about her father finding out you were a Peyton Standish. It was priceless. How much money does your family have anyway? I mean, he wasn’t drooling like that when Lacey married Ryan, and I KNOW how disgustingly rich my family is.”
“ Nauseatingly.” Ezra shook his head, thinking on the Standish family coffers. “We are filthy, stinking, nauseatingly wealthy. Happy?”
“ I want figures, flow charts, annual reports. Come on!” Derek teased, tickling Ezra expertly, as he’d done when they were still in college. He didn’t really care how much money Ezra had, but he did love any excuse to tease his friend. Ezra looked like he needed to laugh a lot more. He’d always looked that way, even at eighteen when they first met.
“ No molesting me in my lover’s backseat!” Ezra managed through his laughter, and Chris fought the urge to pull to the side of the road, and pull his gun from its holster.
Part Three
“ I didn‘t realize I was MOLESTING you.” Derek pouted, returning to his own side of the seat. He stared resolutely out the window, pretending to be hurt. It always worked in the past, and he had little doubt it would now. “I’ll remember not to touch you anymore.”
“ Derek. Derek, I was just kidding.”
“ Come on, Derek. This isn’t nearly as cute as it used to be. I didn’t say you couldn’t touch me. Just…you know. Look, I’m sorry.” Ezra sighed, leaning across to kiss his friend’s cheek. It was something he’d never done back in college if they had anything of an audience, but he and Derek had always been casually affectionate. It was the first relationship he could remember where touch was a GOOD thing, and didn’t have to lead to sex either. It was just…comfortable.
“ No. I don’t want to offend your delicate sensibilities with my genuine affection.”
“ OH, shut up, you hard-nosed, blue-blooded Yankee snot! I didn’t mean anything, Derek. Please do touch freely.” Ezra volunteered, spreading his arms wide away from his body. Derek turned, grinning broadly, and stretched his arms towards him, clearly intending to resume his “tickle attack”. “Above the waist only.” Ezra added, and Derek shrugged easily. That had always been their rule, and it hadn’t honestly occurred to him to alter it now.
“ We’re here.” Chris announced, his voice tight with a strain Ezra didn’t recognize, as the truck pulled up their driveway. Derek’s attention left whatever he was planning to subject Ezra to, opting instead to look out the window at the property spreading before them. He was used to fine estates, had been guests at more than he could count, in both America and in Europe, but he was just as impressed with the natural beauty of this simple Colorado ranch. It was a fine looking home. The two old friends carried the luggage inside, and Derek pretended not to notice that Chris disappeared the minute they were inside the house, as Ezra gave him a short tour. He did an odd double-take as he passed the hallway which housed the bedrooms, only to follow Ezra through the kitchen, and into a nicely appointed bedroom. It looked a lot like the sort of room Ezra would have decorated, which clashed slightly with the somewhat more…rustic décor through what Derek had seen of the rest of the house.
“ Nice place. This your room?” Derek asked, setting his bag on the bed.
“ I decorated it mostly, yes. Chris finished the room after the team began to spend many of our weekends here. There’s four bedrooms down the main hall, as well. I thought…well, I felt this was the room closest to your comfort level.”
“ The house is fine, Ezra. No, it’s not the same kind of ‘fine’ as the house I grew up in, or even my apartment now, but it’s comfortable. And you’re right, I do quite like this room. Feels like you.” Derek pulled the smaller man into a hug, glad to see his old friend again after so long. They’d managed, sort of, to stay in touch over the years, but he hadn’t seen Ezra in person for over five years. Since the FBI had transferred the southerner to Atlanta, and he’d disappeared into a kind of life Derek could only have nightmares about.
“ I love you, you stubborn pain-in-the-ass southern prick.”
“ I’ve missed you, Derek.” Ezra admitted, returning the hug. As much as he loved his friends here in Denver, he missed the people who knew him from before he’d become so jaded. Oh, he’d never been exactly innocent, but back in college…he’d believed that the “good guys” were good. Now, he realized there was just different levels of “bad”.
“ I don’t suppose you have lunch ready? It’s nearly two in New York.” Derek asked, grinning, as he pulled out of the hug. He remembered how Ezra cooked, and was looking forward to gaining at least a couple pounds while he was here.
“ A surprise.” Ezra nodded.
“ Lobster bisque? Blackened catfish? Crawfish Etouffee? Shrimp Gumbo? Fried Chicken? Country Fried Steak?” Derek guessed, following Ezra into the kitchen. He hadn’t noticed anything before, and looked around the kitchen quickly, hoping for a hint. It was difficult to get proper southern food in New York, and he’d long missed Ezra’s cooking. He’d have asked for the recipes, but Derek knew everything that he tried in the kitchen ended up burnt. He tended to burn his toast every morning still.
“ What is it?” He finally gave up, not seeing any clues about the immaculate space.
“ Well, I had thought to try my hand at something that said “New York”; upscale, classy, the kind of food you’re used to.”
“ Really?” Derek asked, leaning against the counter.
“ Then I realized-”
“ When’s lunch?!” A familiar call came from the foyer, and Ezra sighed.
“ I realized that my teammates were also going to be present today. So, the menu is barbecue ribs, cornbread, macaroni and cheese, coleslaw, potato salad, lettuce salad, and lemonade or sweet tea.”
“ We brought beer!” Another familiar voice sounded from the entrance to the kitchen.
“ Of course. And Mr. Wilmington will be supplying the beer.” Ezra amended, smiling at Derek. “I hope it meets your exacting standards, Mr. Worthington.”
“ How long ‘til food?” Buck asked, stepping into the room to put the beer in the refrigerator.
“ Chris is grilling the ribs now. Everything else is ready. Derek Worthington, allow me to introduce Buck Wilmington, explosives expert and lothario of Team 7.”
“ Pleasure.” Derek smiled, as he extended his hand to the friendly looking man.
“ Same. Friend of Ez, huh? So, we want dirt. As much as possible.”
“ There is no dirt, Buck.” Ezra laughed, attempting to look utterly innocent. “Come on, Derek, let me introduce you to everyone.” The New Yorker allowed himself to be pulled into the living room, to meet the rest of Ezra’s friends. It was one of the first times Derek could remember where he was being introduced to Ezra’s friends, not the other way around. If Ezra had been popular in college, it was only because he had met nearly everyone through other people. It would be interesting to see what kind of men Ezra had found here.
Part Four
The day had been immensely enjoyable, Ezra mused. They’d had even sides for football for once, and Ezra, Chris, Derek and J.D. had soundly beaten the other team, which had led to good-natured gloating for the remainder of the evening. The southerner was even more pleased, though, to see Derek fitting in so well with his teammates, his friends. Chris had seemed distant, and oddly stand-offish, but the rest had taken right to the easterner without a hitch. That Derek was the sort of person it was impossible to dislike didn’t exactly hurt. The five men who didn’t live there had straggled out over the last hour, and Ezra watched Vin’s Jeep rumble towards the main road. It was amazing that thing even ran, really. Considering that Ezra had a very good idea what the Texan made in a year, and knew exactly what he paid in rent, and could guess about most of his other expenses, Vin’s bank account must be hefty indeed by now. He’d have to speak to Vin about investing some of it, let it make money for a comfortable retirement. In their profession, retirement occasionally came earlier than planned. It was always best to be financially prepared for any possible occasion.
“ Deep thoughts?” Chris came up behind him, wrapping his arms around the southerner, and dropping a kiss on his cheek.
“ I was thinking about speaking to Vin about investment opportunities. He must surely have a significant bank account considering his…lifestyle choices.”
“ You mean he lives in a hole, drives a heap, and dresses like an ad for Wal-mart?”
“ Well, I thought I was being more diplomatic than that.”
“ I think it’s a good idea. He’d probably not be adverse to the notion, if you approach it right. We all trust you, he will too.”
“ Not all.” Ezra sighed, despite himself.
“ Josiah’ll come around. He’s just independent. Nathan’s always crowing about his investments and interest income and what all. You do good, baby.”
“ You know, Nathan was my first ‘client’? When he began to be serious about Miss Rain, I approached him with a general idea, and he invited me to ‘show him the ropes’. Two months later, he just told me to do what I thought was best, and invest it for him.”
“ Nathan may wonder about your moral turpitude-”
“ He does NOT!” Ezra laughed, punching playfully at Chris’ arm.
“ No, he doesn’t. He may not always agree with your morals, Ezra, but he realizes you have your own code, and keep to it. Even with that mess with Li Pong, I don’t think he really believed…that’s why he was so mad. He couldn’t imagine you doing that, but he was too caught up to see anything but what he thought was obvious.”
“ I know. He apologized later, actually. And I’m quite impressed with your vocabulary Mr. Larabee. Turpitude?”
“ It sounded right.” Chris shrugged, smiling at his lover. He felt the smaller man lean into him, and rested his chin on a strong shoulder. “Tired, baby?”
“ Yes. I have plenty of time to rest up now, though, don’t I? You and our friends have to work tomorrow. I’ll be at home…for the foreseeable future. Remind me again why idleness is GOOD for me? Months of boredom do not sound relaxing, truthfully.”
“ I’m sure you’ll find something to occupy your time. You need this leave, baby. You were supposed to take it over a month ago, back in January. You can’t keep working like you were.”
“ I suppose. I will miss the office, however. And do tell the others that my desk is still firmly off-limits to all posters, toys, various magazines, paperwork, and other paraphernalia not already residing there.”
“ I will.” Chris cocked his head to the side, and began to gently kiss the ear so conveniently placed in front of his lips.
“ Time for bed, Ezra.”
“ I really should check on Derek. Make sure he doesn’t need anything.” Ezra replied softly, his tone conveying his contentment to stay right where he was indefinitely.
“ I’m fine, Ezra. Go to bed with the man.” Derek’s voice came from the doorway to the kitchen, and Ezra blushed lightly.
“ Are you sure I can’t get you anything? You have towels-”
“ I’m fine, Pey’.” Derek chuckled, “Go enjoy yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow. Now, good night.”
“ Good night.” Chris tugged Ezra towards their room, and thought that just perhaps, Worthington was redeeming himself.
Part Five
Ezra allowed himself to be tugged into the bedroom, and pulled into his lover’s arms. He leant up into the kiss that followed, and concentrated on Chris’ attentions to his mouth. He quickly decided that the blond was being far too gentle, and immediately grabbed Chris’ ass and pulled their bodies together as tightly as possible, before taking over the kiss. One hand stayed firmly on a black clad ass, the other roamed upwards to eventually tangle in blond strands. Walking backwards away from the door, Ezra made his way blindly towards the bed, and deftly turned them so that he could push the taller man down onto the sheets. The southerner stayed standing, looking down at the sprawled form lasciviously.
Chris was pleasantly surprised to find himself on the bed so quickly, but rather disappointed that there was no warm lithe body pressing down over him. He opened his eyes, and met a decidedly hungry emerald gaze. He smiled only slightly, and raised his eyebrows in invitation as he scooted further onto the bed, hopefully gracefully. Ezra somehow managed to make everything look so damn easy. Or maybe Chris just never cared by this point in the night. Evidently, Ezra had found something enticing, because he was on the bed now, straddling the taller body and bringing their lips together forcefully once more.
“ You are quite possibly the most sinfully attractive being on this planet, Christopher.”
“ I need to get a new mirror then, baby, since you must not see yourself clear enough.”
“ Shall we agree to disagree?” Ezra compromised, as he pulled Chris’ shirt over his head and began laying kisses across a lean chest.
“ I can live with that.”
“ Good.” Ezra knew every spot on Chris’ body better than he knew his own. Where to tickle, where to tease, and where to turn him on the most. He used this knowledge often and well, hands and mouth following a practiced path across his lover’s chest, down his abdomen with a short interval at the navel, until he reached the black denim that halted his access to bare skin. He mouthed the growing bulge there through the denim, sliding his hands down thighs, and then around and back up Chris’ body to tease hardened nipples lightly as his teeth teased lower.
“ Ezra-” Chris wrapped his own hands in chestnut hair, and pulled that maddening mouth away from him. “ -my jeans can’t taste that good. Why don’t-”
“ Mmmm, but they DO taste good. Smell and taste a lot like you actually.” Ezra smiled, the grin widening as Chris groaned at his words. For a man who could quite happily hardly speak for an entire day, Chris certainly did love to hear Ezra talk.
“ But I digress.” He popped open the button with ease, and opened the fly, pushing the denim down beyond Chris’ knees. He proceeded to mouth the black satin boxers that had been a gift from him to his lover at Christmas, and groaned himself. He never could quite place the smells that made up that unique aroma, but he had long ago named the combination simply ‘Chris’. All of his lover smelled of it, but this was where it was strongest, and Ezra would probably have been content to sleep with his head right here on Chris’ upper thigh every night, but his lover for some reason always got ideas when Ezra’s mouth was this close to other…interests. Ezra knew he really only had himself to blame on that count. He had never quite been able to restrain himself from acting on the ideas he got when he was this close to those other interests.
Chris moaned quietly when his erection was freed from his boxers, and moaned far louder when it was quickly encased in a warmer, far wetter cocoon. Ezra had miraculously gotten even better at this over the course of their relationship, although Chris would have been hard-pressed to imagine that even being possible.
“ Make love to me, Chris.” Ezra pulled away, sliding up his lover’s body, and bringing their mouths together in another slick duel. The older man was all too happy to comply, and with ease born from much practice, had the southerner divested of his clothing in a few short moments. A few more moments, and Chris had two fingers buried in the gorgeous man beneath him, who was getting louder by the second in his demands for more. Perversely hoping that Worthington could hear them, Chris complied, and slid into Ezra a bit quicker than he might usually have earning a sharp yelp that brought him up short.
“ Baby?”
“ Move, damn it.” Ezra panted, squirming beneath him. “Faster. Harder. Oh, hell yes!”
Chris obediently picked up his pace, reveling in the verbal feedback that poured from his firecracker with increasing frequency, volume, and as usual, variety of language. He thrust powerfully into the younger man, racing towards his own climax just as quickly as he knew Ezra to be doing likewise. If tonight was not to be the marathon session Chris had originally envisioned, it would definitely be more than satisfying. Chris was feeling oddly satisfied by the knowledge that unless Worthington had brought headphones of some kind along with him, there was no way he was missing what was occurring in the master bedroom. Ezra was being far louder than usual tonight, and something in Chris both knew and liked that it was being done purposefully. He’d wanted to tell Worthington to keep his hands off all day. It was bad enough watching the damn man devour Ezra’s ass with his eyes every time the southerner wasn’t looking (and Chris had noticed because that was usually where his own eyes strayed as well). Watching him touch Ezra far more freely than even Chris himself did had been doubly infuriating. Chris shouted out his own completion seconds before Ezra followed, and collapsed contentedly to the side of his lover, pulling out swiftly from the tight body.
“ I love you, Chris.” Ezra sighed, cuddling into his arms immediately.
“ We’re completely hot and sweaty.” Chris complained as Ezra managed to somehow extricate the comforter from beneath them, only to throw it over their bodies.
“ YOU are definitely completely hot, my handsome beloved.” Ezra agreed, sleepily kissing the smooth chest beneath his lips.
“ I was talking about the temperature, but thank you.”
“ Just telling the truth.” Ezra yawned, and snuggled in even closer beneath the blankets. Chris was about fifteen degrees too warm to sleep, but he was too content to have his young southerner falling asleep in his arms to really wish he’d move away, and take the blankets with him.
“ Bed’s still cold. Should get a ‘lectric blanket.”
“ I’ve got you.” Chris nearly laughed out loud at the thought of an electric blanket on the bed as well. He’d probably roast alive, and be happy for the pleasure of roasting beside the infuriatingly adorable man in his bed. “ I can’t see how you’re cold, baby. It must be a hundred degrees in this bed.”
“ Is not.” Ezra retorted sleepily, burrowing tightly as if he could crawl into Chris’ body with him in order to gain body heat. “Entire room is freezing. Won’t be warm again ‘til May.”
“ Speaking of, you’ll be thirty in May, baby. You’re getting old on me. I’ll have to trade you in for a newer model. Think Travis will let me recruit another undercover to take your place? Maybe someone JD’s age?”
“ Fuck you.” Ezra was obviously not concerned, as the completely uncharacteristic swear was delivered in a still-sleepy, almost laughing tone. He did however, pull away from Chris‘ body enough to look him firmly in the face. “I’m irreplaceable. You’d never find another man crazy enough to take you on, you old coot.”
“You’re right. You’re completely irreplaceable. Even if I could, I never would want to try to find anyone else to ‘take me on’. You, Ezra Standish, are all I need to live quite happily for the remainder of my mortal existence.”
“ Forgiven. If only because every other bed in this house is probably too cold for me to get any sleep in. Now come here and be the good little self-heating body pillow you are.”
“ Yes, master.” Chris smiled, pulling the smaller man back into his arms. In the morning, the whole conversation would be forgotten anyway. Ezra routinely forgot anything and everything said to him between sex and sleep. It was something Chris had learned quickly to adjust to. He simply never said anything overly important or that he wasn’t willing to repeat in the morning. “I love you, my firecracker.”
Part Six
The first week of Worthington’s visit had been marked by Chris’ rising insanity. He both truly liked and utterly despised Derek Worthington, and the clash was only making his head hurt constantly, and he was beginning to think he was hearing voices. He’d long ago joked that Ezra would one day drive him insane, but he’d never thought it might actually happen. Well, actually, it was Ezra’s friend’s fault but still…the idea was the same.
Chris had loved watching Ezra act as any other twenty-something might, spending his days on various outings, including what would certainly become a most infamously memorable shopping trip yesterday that had brought his lover home with some new “body art”. He had laughed at what seemed to be hundreds of stories Derek had from their college days. He’d even gotten used to the ‘casual affection’ as Ezra called it that only seemed to exist between his lover and Worthington. Ezra clearly adored his old friend, and for that Chris really did like the other man.
Chris hated Derek’s effects in other realms though. Aside from that first night, Ezra seemed to be slowly pulling away from him, physically and emotionally. Hell, last night Ezra hadn’t even used him as a body pillow, and considering it was still February in Colorado, that concerned Chris. It wasn’t that Chris felt that Ezra loved him any less than he had a week ago, but something serious was bothering the southerner, and Derek either brought it up, or exacerbated the situation amazingly. Ezra wasn’t talking, and Worthington seemed unable to be serious about ANYTHING, not that Chris thought he’d get much of an answer out of him anyway, if Ezra didn’t want it discussed. And however much Chris trusted his firecracker, he was becoming leery of leaving the two men alone every day while he went to work. That suspicion was killing him with both paranoia and guilt for even thinking that of Ezra. So, here it was, another Sunday night, set apart from every other Sunday of the year by the fact that the team hadn’t been to the ranch at all. Vin was helping a neighbor re-model something, Josiah was visiting his sister this weekend, JD and Casey had left to attend something for her family, Nathan had flown out Thursday night to go see his sister, whose youngest was ‘graduating’ kindergarten or something like that. Buck didn’t want to be the only one to hang around all day, and had taken one of his women out instead. Even aside from the novelty of not sharing his weekend with his agents, Chris found himself waiting for SOMETHING to happen.
“ Chris?” Ezra’s voice was oddly strained, as he came into the bedroom to find Chris staring idly out the window already ready for bed.
“ Yeah, baby?” Here it is, Chris thought, whatever I’ve been dreading all day.
“ I…we need to talk.” Ezra sat on the bed near him but not next to him. “ First, I guess, is that I’m coming into the office tomorrow afternoon.”
“ Ezra, your leave is indefinite. You’re not supposed to be going in to the office.”
“ I’m not going in to work.” Ezra sighed, and brought his knees to his chest to wrap his arms around them. The position made him look even younger. “ I need to talk to our compatriots about what I’m very soon going to be discussing with you.”
“ Why do I not like the sounds of this?” Chris’ comment was ignored.
“ Derek’s invited me to go back East with him. And I’m going. Wednesday morning, actually. I’ve already booked my plane ticket, I just have to pick it up at the airport.”
Part Seven
Chris was in shock. Whatever he might have worried about hearing from his firecracker, this wasn’t it. Ezra was leaving. In just over 48 hours. With a VERY gay and more worryingly, VERY WILLING old friend who wasn’t exactly in a steady relationship. It took a moment for the idea to sink in, and then the horrible rush of adrenaline and pain hit so hard it hurt.
“ You’re leaving? With Worthington?”
“ We’ll be in New York for the first week, and then we’re going to Boston for awhile. I’m not sure how long, really.”
“ Does it matter? I mean, you’re leaving Denver. You’re leaving me.”
“ I need to do this, Chris. I feel horrible, because I know what’s going through your head right now-”
“Have you slept with him yet?”
“ WHAT?!” Ezra stood up, and stepped away from him. “ Christopher Larabee-”
“ OH, come off it, Ezra! You’re leaving in two days with the man. I don’t think it’s that shocking of a question.”
“ I’m not sleeping with Derek. I have never slept with Derek. I will never sleep with Derek. My God, who knows what sort of diseases he’s been exposed to! And I can’t believe YOU of all people would accuse ME of cheating when you KNOW what happened with April, how that kind of shit made me feel.”
“ So, you’re leaving me for a platonic relationship? I find that hard to believe!”
“ I’M NOT LEAVING YOU, CHRIS!” Ezra yelled, slamming his hand against the closet door loudly.
“ You’re going off to fucking New York on Wednesday. I think that counts!”
“ I’m taking a damn VACATION!”
“ You need a vacation from me now?!” Chris was alternately really hurt and really pissed off.
“ GOD DAMN IT, you are impossible! I need a vacation from being Ezra!”
“ What the fuck does that mean? We don’t get vacations from ourselves, Ezra. That doesn’t even make any damn sense!”
“ Let me spell it out then! I need to be twenty-nine again, Chris! I feel like I’m fifty already. I’m damn near burned out with my career, I’m tired more often than not…I’m so damn OLD! I’m not that old yet, Chris. I need this.”
“ I need YOU! You can’t be twenty-nine here?!”
“ Good god, Chris, no one on our team knows how to be YOUNG, except JD and we’re doing a damn fine job of taking that from him! I just want to have FUN, see old friends, re-visit college…be stupid, get drunk, be horribly irresponsible, not worry about whose watching, who knows me!”
“ Why can’t you do that here, with me? What is it about Worthington-”
“ This isn’t about DEREK! Hell, Chris, it isn’t even about you!” Ezra was crying amidst his shouts, and Chris was damn near there himself, despite the fact that he couldn’t remember crying in years. “ This is about ME for once in my god-damned life!”
“ It was Worthington’s idea, wasn’t it?”
“ He’s right, Chris. I need to do this. For me. For US.”
“ What the hell do you mean ‘us’. You’re doing a bang up job of ending ‘us’ tonight.”
Part Eight
“ Don’t say that Chris. Please, don’t say that. I love you. I think I always will. I look into the future, and I see you.”
“ So why are you leaving?” Chris gave up holding back tears.
“ Because I look into the future, and I don’t see me.” Ezra confessed, wiping madly at his eyes. “ I’m not sure there is a ‘me’ right now, Chris. If there’s no me, how can there be an ‘us’?”
“ Ezra, you’re right here. I don’t understand.”
“ Do you…do you remember right after Sarah and Adam died?”
“ No, not really. I started drinking day after the funeral and didn’t quit for several months.”
“ Did you ever look in a mirror, and see a stranger? I do it every morning, Chris! If it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t remember whether I was Ezra Standish, Edward Simmons, Eric Smith, Everett Sanford, Elliot Snyder, or whatever, most days. Who am I, Chris? Do you know? Because I’m not sure I do right now.”
“ You’re Ezra. A beautiful man, the man I love. You’re so smart it’s scary, you love kids and animals, you tolerate behavior from your loved ones that most people would murder over, you are one of the bravest, stupidest people I’ve ever met, and one of the ones I’m most proud to know. You’re my firecracker.”
“ THAT I know.” Ezra smiled wryly. “The only part of me I AM sure about is the part that loves you so much I can’t believe I’m going to try to live without you for at least a couple weeks. That’s why I need to do this.”
“ So you know you can live without me? That’s not all that comforting on my end.”
“ No, yes, both. I know I love you. I need to go find what else there is to know about me. I mean, what happened to that incredibly stupid kid who had sex in the living room of a frat house in the middle of a party? What happened to the straight-A student who was certain he was going to argue in front of the Supreme Court someday? Where did the REST of Ezra Standish go? Loving you is the best thing that has ever happened to me, don’t ever doubt that Chris.”
“ Are you moving out?” Chris gestured to the closet, half full of Ezra’s things.
“ Do you want me to?”
“ I’m not sure.” Chris admitted, his mind and heart still somewhere on a roller-coaster ride that kept him from getting clear thoughts into his head.
“ I’m a startlingly efficient packer.” Ezra chuckled mirthlessly. “Practice does make perfect after all. Speak now, and I can be out completely by tomorrow morning.”
“ I can’t believe…God, I never saw this coming. You’re leaving.”
“ I’ll be back, Chris. If you’ll still have me.”
“ What if whatever you find out there changes that? How long do I wait? Six weeks? Six months? Six years?”
“ My ‘indefinite’ leave only covers a year at most.”
“ Oh, that’s wonderful news.” Chris did nothing to hide his sarcasm. “So, you see this as you going out to ‘find yourself’, while good ol’ Chris stays at home and waits for you to get your head out of the clouds, or maybe your ass, and come home?!”
“ What the hell do you want, Chris? You want me to go back to work in a few weeks, pretending I’m fine with everything in my life, or lack thereof, and end up lost in these damn GAMES I play for you, Travis, the suits in Washington? I’ve done it before, Chris.”
“ What?” That shocked him from whatever self-pity party he’d just started in on.
“ When you showed up in Atlanta…hell, I’ll be brutally honest, Chris. I would’ve answered to just about any name that started with an E or an S. I could barely keep track on a good day. When I was under…I’m damn lucky I never screwed up enough to get myself killed. And don’t-” He cut off what the older man was going to say, “-don’t blame Donnelly. Yes, the situation in Atlanta didn’t help, but Chris, it was more than that. I don’t know, maybe I’m just too weak for this shit.”
“ That’s the biggest round of bull shit I’ve every heard, and I’ve been friends with Buck for more years than I care to count. You’re one of the strongest men I’ve ever met.”
“ I’m literally going crazy, and you think I’m strong. I knew there was a reason I loved you.” Ezra laughed, and Chris smiled, although he didn’t feel it.
“ I think I understand, Ezra. I just…I’m not sure I can do this. I can’t just wait here to find out if you’re coming back. Patience has never been my strongest suit.”
“ I will always love you.”
“ Love isn’t always enough. I loved Ella once. Look how that turned out.”
“ She actually is crazy, beloved. I’m just borderline. And I’m sorry, but I have to do this. For me. For you.”
“ I don’t like it.” Chris insisted, staring resolutely out the window at the blackness that was his lawn.
“ I know. You’ve made that painfully clear. I’m sorry, but that doesn’t change my decision.”
“ I don’t like that I feel like you’re leaving me. And I like it even less that you’re leaving with Derek. He’s handsome, he’s rich, you have a pre-existing relationship, and he’s your age. I don’t trust him.”
“ You‘re far better looking, I don‘t NEED anyone else’s money, Derek has about a hundred ‘pre-existing relationships’, and I really don’t care that you’re older than me. Do you trust me?”
“ I don’t know.”
Part Nine
“ I guess that’s it then.” Ezra sighed, and sat on the end of the bed. “You want me to pack then?”
“ God, Ezra, I don’t know. An hour ago, I wouldn’t have imagined saying yes to that! What I WANT is for you to be happy here, with me, for the next ninety or so years until we both die of a heart attack in the middle of sex.”
“ Chris.” Ezra was really laughing at that, and Chris smiled honestly himself. “In ninety years you’ll be over a hundred and thirty. I think sex would be a bit out of the question.”
“ Not with you for temptation.” Chris paused, thinking, “There’s my answer, I guess.”
“ What?”
“ I wait. I can’t imagine being a hundred and thirty without you, Ezra. I can’t imagine being eighty without you. I can’t imagine being fifty without you. Fuck, I can’t even imagine being forty-two without you.”
“ Does that mean I have until November to figure this out?”
Chris sat down himself, looking carefully at his firecracker. “ I love you, Ezra Peyton Standish. If we could, I’d have married you long before now. I want you home as soon as possible. You may be sane when you come back, only to find me crazy from you absence.”
“ I’m sorry, beloved. I wish…I wish I could see another way.”
“ What’ll you be doing during this ‘self-exploration’ or whatever?”
“ Meeting Derek’s nieces and nephews, undoubtedly. Seeing old friends from college. And perhaps most importantly, I’m meeting with David and Jesse in two weeks.”
“ Your cousins?”
“ They’ve been running the family interests, well, what Uncle John doesn’t still have a stranglehold on despite being seventy-two years old, for several years. I’m looking for a job.”
“ You’re leaving the ATF?”
“ Technically, I’m leaving the FBI. My contract is still with them. But, I’m not really sure yet. It’s a possibility. Chris, it’s been less than four years since I left Atlanta. I can’t do this every four years. We need to face the fact that I may be done. One of these days, I may slip. Maybe I get beat up one too many times while under. Or I get shot, and my luck runs out. I just…I don’t want to die at thirty, Chris. I want to be around to kill you with that heart attack in ninety years.”
“ Will you leave Denver then? Because outside law enforcement, my career options are shit.”
“ I wouldn’t ever ask you to leave all this, Chris.” Ezra gestured to the house around them, and the pictures of Sarah and Adam that still graced the dresser. Chris had offered to put them away once, and Ezra flatly refused. They were still family, and he refused to shove their memories in some box to be dug up only every once in awhile.
“ You wouldn’t have to ask. I’d come with you Wednesday if I could.”
“ Christopher James, I have never loved anyone more than I love you at this moment.” Ezra kissed him hungrily, desperately, and Chris accepted it for the promise it was.
“ But to answer your question, no I’m not leaving Denver. I’m rather sure I can work with the family money from here. Denver does have a rather serviceable airport if necessary, and we have computers for most of it anyway. Besides, we need a western front manager.”
“ Huh?”
“ David lives in Westchester, in New York state. Jesse lives on the family estate in South Carolina. I think it’s about time we had a family member to represent our interests west of the Mississippi. Although, I shudder at my mother’s reaction. She’ll be, dare I say it, ecstatic.”
“ You sound pretty sure about leaving the ATF.”
“ The more I think on it, the more I believe it’s the right choice. But, I’ll be sure when I come back.”
“ Now, if I only knew when THAT was…”
“ Consider it an exercise in patience. You need the practice.”
“ You’ll be breaking up the most consistently successful team federal law enforcement has ever seen. You’re ending the legend. JD’s gonna cry.”
“ Maybe. Probably. But, it’s not as if I won’t see everyone, Chris, IF I do leave the ATF. We’ll still be the Magnificent Seven. Unless you change your mind about waiting for me to get my head back on straight.”
“ Now, wait a damn minute!” Chris sat up straight, pulling away from his lover.
“ What?”
“ Nobody said a damn WORD about you coming back STRAIGHT!” Chris barely restrained himself from dissolving into laughter at Ezra’s expression.
“ OOOH, YOU!” Ezra laughed himself, and wrapped his arms around him. “I love you.”
“ I love you more. Enough to let you do this. But if Worthington so much as thinks about-”
“ I’ll gut him myself. Don’t worry. Derek is a dear friend. You, Christopher James Larabee, are my lover. My beloved. And the best damn self-heating body pillow I’ve ever found.”
“So, I have until Wednesday, huh?”
“ Indeed.”
“ That’s three nights…we better get started then.”
“ Started on what?”
“ The amount of sex I need to store up before you leave me here with just my hand and memories.”
“ Well, I suppose I had best make sure they are VERY good memories then.” Ezra replied, pulling him back onto the bed while bringing their lips together once more.
Part Ten
Wednesday morning dawned to fit Chris’ mood. Grey, overcast, with a promise of an absolutely miserably cold snap. If he was really lucky, it’d start snowing so hard the flights would be cancelled…but that wouldn’t really change anything. Just make it that much longer before Ezra figured whatever he needed to out, and came home.
An impressive number of people had shown up at the airport to see him off. Chris wasn’t quite sure why they hadn’t met at the ranch, as usual, but was somewhat glad that he wasn’t going home to house either full of people or disturbed by all these people. Judge Travis was there with Evie, Mary and Billy, Evie still reminding Ezra to eat more, while the Judge kept trying to talk him into staying on with the ATF for another year. Ezra just smiled, and pulled some candy from Billy’s ear, to the boys delight. Billy had confided to Chris once, that even though he was nine and getting a bit old for magic, Ezra’s tricks still amazed him. He couldn’t ever figure out how the southerner did it. Chris wasn’t surprised. He was sleeping with the man and couldn’t figure it out. Nettie and Casey were standing next to Vin and JD, both of whom had taken Ezra’s announcement hard. The team had always seemed invincible, and now they were being beaten, not by a bullet or something tangible, but by the sheer exhaustion of one of their number. Rain was there, next to Nathan. He’d replied to Ezra’s announcement with one of his own, that he’d finally proposed to Rain and was considering taking on a less dangerous form of employment himself. Buck and Josiah of course finished the group, and Chris smiled with some surprise as Ezra actually hugged everyone there, with the exception of the Judge, who received a warm handshake and seemed glad of his exemption. Stepping forward, the blond man intended to receive his own goodbye as Ezra checked his watch once more, and Derek stood in the background, smiling.
“ You take care of yourself, baby.”
“ You as well, Chris. I need to have someone to come home to, okay?”
“ Worthington.”
“ Yeah?”
“ Anything, anything at all, happens to Ezra, it’s on your head. And let me assure you that I am not a very nice man when I’m pissed off.”
“ I’ll take that under advisement.”
“ Do that.”
“ We have to go Chris, or we’ll never get through security in time.” Ezra sighed, pulling his lover to him. “I love you. I’ll be home soon.”
“ Not soon enough.”
“ I know. I’ll call from Derek’s apartment.”
“ And?”
“AND from his parents’ house in Boston, AND from David’s when I get back to New York, AND from Palmetto AND anywhere else I go, okay?”
“ You better. Let’s just say I know an expert hacker, and a former bounty hunter more than willing to help me track you down if you don’t call me enough.”
“ You are incorrigible.” Ezra smiled, and surprised everyone there by kissing Chris soundly and deeply. Mary smiled, and covered Billy’s eyes jokingly. Evie laughed, and the Judge cleared his throat loudly. Nettie just raised her eyebrows, while Casey muffled her own chuckles in JD’s shoulder. As if on cue, the rest of Team 7 looked at their watches, looked at each other, the kissing couple, and then back to their watches.
“ I think there’s something about a plane not waiting to be said now.” Derek managed through his laughter at the display from Ezra’s teammates. Evidently, this was a usual occurrence for goodbyes between the two lovers.
“ We’ll hire a private jet.” Ezra returned, diving in for another kiss.
“ You know, this is a public venue. We are being stared at. What is it with you and needing an audience?” Derek complained, earning raised eyebrows from everyone but the involved couple.
“ That sounds like there’s an interesting story in there.” Buck stroked his chin thoughtfully.
“ Several.” Derek acknowledged lightly. “Let’s go, Pey’. It’s not as if you two didn’t raise the rafters last night anyway.”
“ We really need to go.” Ezra admitted, catching his breath as he broke the kiss. Chris just nodded dumbly, still a bit in shock. He didn’t really want to consider the implications of such a public display of affection with someone who was still his direct subordinate, but hell they’d figure that out later.
“ Goodbye.”
“ No. Until another day, not goodbye.” Ezra corrected, and then he picked up his carry-on and disappeared towards the security checkpoint, with Derek’s arm around his shoulder. Chris watched them fade into the crowd, and felt Buck’s hand on his shoulder.
“ Let’s go ol’ dog. I’ve got a bottle of Tennessee’s finest with your name on it back at my place.”
“ We’ll pick it up on the way, then. If he’s still paying Magali while he’s gone, I think we should finally have that party at the townhouse you guys have been begging for for years.”
“Really?” JD perked up, and looked at Vin, who grinned as well.
“ What’d ya say, kid? Shall we go break in the place finally?”
“ Are you kidding? He’s got a barely used big-screen TV, a stereo-system most people would KILL for, and the fastest ethernet connection I’ve ever seen. I’m in.”
“ Wouldn’t miss it.” Josiah agreed, thinking of the interesting things he could cook in that kitchen. Ezra always seemed to have some truly unique ingredients on hand.
“ Sounds like good Team 7 fun.” Nathan added, also smiling.
“ You boys won’t actually destroy his home will you?”
“ Hell, Mrs. Travis, that ain’t Ez’ home. Just his cover.” Vin replied easily.
“ Invitation stands for all of you. I can think of a couple boxes that need unpacking that have been driving me nuts for a couple years.” Chris chuckled at the responses. He couldn’t wait to see Ezra’s face when he came back. By the time the southerner came back to Denver, the last of those damnable moving boxes would be gone. If that didn’t say permanence to his firecracker, Chris couldn’t think of what did. Patience may not be Chris Larabee’s strength. But permanence and persistence sure as hell were.
The End
‘Is There Life Out There’ by Reba McEntire
She married when she was twenty, thought she was ready, now she’s not so sure
She thought she’d done some living, now she’s just wondering, what she’s living for
Now she’s feeling that there’s something more.
Is there life out there, so much she hasn’t done,
is there life beyond her family and her home,
she’s done what she should; should she do what she dares?
She doesn’t want to leave, she’s just wondering,
Is there life out there?
She’s always lived for tomorrow, she’s never learned how to live for today,
Oh, she’s dying to try something foolish, do something crazy, or just get away
Something for herself for a change,
Is there life out there, so much she hasn’t done,
is there life beyond her family and her home,
she’s done what she should; should she do what she dares?
She doesn’t want to leave, she’s just wondering,
Is there life out there?
There’s a place in the sun that she’s never been where life is fair and time is a friend would she do it the same as she did back then oh she looks out her window and she wonders again,
Is there life out there, so much she hasn’t done,
is there life beyond her family and her home,
she’s done what she should; should she do what she dares?
She doesn’t want to leave, she’s just wondering,
Is there life out there?
The End
Continues in Home
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