AU - ATF~Pre LB
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, never will be.
Note: A little look at Buck's past and one of the events that made him the man he is. Betaed by Firefox.
"What do you mean - late?" Buck asked in hushed tones.
"As in I'm late, what do you think I mean?" the female voice on the other end told him, being less than hushed.
"Did you do a test?"
"Well, don't you think you should find out for sure? Now for your sake I hope it's negative, but if it's not, you should know, it's not mine."
There was a slight silence on the other end of the line. "We did have that, you know, accident."
"I remember. Not my fault, you bought them."
"How was I to know it was going to split?"
"It was cheap. You get what you pay for. Always buy the best."
The woman on the other end of the line sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I know. What am I gonna do, if it's positive?"
"You've got the same three choices every one has, keep it, give it up, abort it."
"You don't have to be so clinical."
"What do you want me to say, Honey? We had a good time, that's all it was, but if, and I have to remind you, it's still an if, you're in the club, it, is, not, mine - got that?"
"I'm telling you. So if you are in trouble, you've only got yourself to blame. Now do you have any idea who the father might be?"
"Not possible. Anyone else?"
"Then stop panicking. You're not pregnant. Go get a test and prove it to yourself and then if you're still late, go and see your doctor - okay?"
As Buck finally hung up and sat back raking his fingers though his hair, Nathan was sitting on the side of his desk, looking at him, with that 'look', that said 'what have you done'.
"You heard all that?"
"So now you reckon I'm some kind of heel?" Buck almost accused.
"No, I know you better than that; it was your certainty that it wasn't yours that worried me."
Buck shook his head. "No proof she's even pregnant. To be honest, she's a bit of an air head. Nice tits, though."
Nathan rolled his eyes.
"Oh come on, you're a man of the world, Nathan Jackson. She might be an air head, but she's a grown woman, and she knew it was just a bit of fun."
"Okay, sorry, I wasn't judging you. I am just worried about you, about what you said."
Buck sat back and looked Nathan in the eye. "I guess, as our medic you should know. When I was 22, I found a lump, on my boys. Not being the shy type, and having been raised by women, I went straight to the doc."
"It was cancer?"
"Yup, they wanted to take one off, said it was the best way. The alternative was cut the lump out - it was very small - and then have massive chemo and radiation therapy, but I'd probably end up infertile. I was 22, no intention of getting married or having kids - ever. But, I couldn't contemplate life as half a man, which is how I saw it." He glanced at Jackson. "Dumb, I know, but I was 22, horny and stupid. So, anyway I took the second option. Kept my both my balls, but lost most of my little guys and the ones I have got don't swim." He shrugged. "If I'd known then what I know now..."
"When were you last checked?"
"Oh stop worrying, Had my last check up six years ago, I was signed off, totally cancer free. It was only after Adam was born that I began to think I'd done the wrong thing. I still don't want to get married." He glanced at the happily married Jackson. "I envy what you two have, what Chris and Sarah had, but I've kind of given up thinking I'm ever gonna meet someone I have that kind of connection with, and who could love me. As much as I love Inez, she doesn't love me in that way and I don't think we could ever live together and it not end in homicide, and she's the only one I've ever even considered. But..." his voice began to break, "well, kids would have been nice."
Nathan reached over and patted him on the shoulder. "You'd have been a great dad."
Buck back handed a tear away. "Damn woman, why couldn't she just have tested before she phoned?" he complained, forcing a smile back on his face.
Just then the other three members of the team came back in. "Come on you two," Chris commanded. "We've got a lead on the gun sales. Looks like they may be working out of those old warehouses, down by the rail yards."
"Nate." Buck stood and made to walk past him. "Chris doesn't know, no one knows," he whispered.
"And no one ever will from me," Nathan assured.