Alternate Universe "Yellowstone"
Warnings: angst, of course, and some anger and stress, and burning woodlands.
For Sara - twice, the fire story, and the kissing in the Welcome Center, and for Clara, Chris and Vin after a fight.
Beta-ed by Annie and Estee, both of whom have been instrumental in the plot and the details. Special thanks to Annie for the pines!
Josiah wasn't surprised when, over the roar from the valley, he heard the rhythmic pattern of leaves and sticks crunching under booted feet. And as the sound grew louder, he recognized the person by the stride: JD.He wasn't surprised, really, but - he was.
"Josiah," the younger man said, breathless as he crested the rise, "there you are."
Josiah smiled despite himself. Statements of the obvious were one of the staples of youth.
"If the fire weren't so bright, I never would have found you, especially in this haze," the young man continued.
"If the fire weren't so bright, I wouldn't have come up here," Josiah countered, but he looked up, smiling, as JD drew near. "Ground's hard but dry, join me. Smoke ain't quite so bad down here, either."
JD dropped down, crossing his legs Indian style, like Josiah. He was silent for a few minutes, staring through the darkness and floating ash into the burning valley below. The fire had started with a lightening strike, one of nature's very own ways of maintaining its balance, and after three days, the flames were beginning to die out. Rains had helped the first day or so, but the wind had picked up and the fire had started to spread outside the prescribed zone. For the last twenty-four hours, the park rangers had been called in to help fire management teams, and they'd all ended up pulling overtime, trying to keep it contained.
This was the first break any of them had had, and hopefully it would last for a while.
Josiah watched the flames and smoke, mesmerized and awed yet again by the will of greater powers. Even though it was well after midnight, closer to morning, the fire and the full moon combined made it as bright as dawn, and almost as surreal.
"You know," JD started after a while, "I always thought of fire as bad, something destructive. I never would have thought that here in the Park, we would just let it go, let it destroy so much of what we have."
" 'Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection into eternal life'," Josiah mused. "From the fire comes life, JD, even as it takes it."
"That's what Vin said - well, not in those words, but close enough. He said fire's nature's way of starting over." JD sighed, his elbows on his knees. The flames, even at this distance, threw strange shadows, making him look younger than he was.
"It is," Josiah agreed, watching the flames leap and dance. "Tragic, but true."
JD was silent for another minute or so, and when he spoke again, Josiah was prepared for the question that was not very well hidden in the statement.
"Guess Chris doesn't see it as a good thing." JD leaned back now; it was a sign of how tired he was that he hadn't moved more, his body full of energy even on the longest days.
"Chris is still grieving," he said quietly. "He lost everything he had to fire and he's rebuilding. He doesn't want to lose that."
JD turned to him, his face twisted in a frown. "You mean the Park? They wouldn't let it destroy the Park - would they?"
Josiah let himself smile. "No, they wouldn't let it go past the prescribed area - you know that."
JD did have the decency to look chastised. "Yeah, I just - Chris just seems so worried, and so angry. He yelled at Vin. I've never seen him do that, especially at Vin."
And there was, finally, the heart of it, the thing that had all of them feeling more on edge than from the fire alone. But what JD said was only the half of it. And he wondered how much JD truly understood.
"Is that what worries you?" Josiah asked, glancing at his companion. "That Chris yelled at Vin?"
JD opened his mouth to speak, then caught himself. He blinked a few times, thinking about the question, before finally saying, "Well, we've all seen Chris upset before, so I guess it's not, is it."
Something in the heart of the fire, a tree, probably, snapped then, sending embers streaking into the night sky. It was like a fireworks show, bright colors arcing against the black of the sky, and they both looked up, tracking the movements.
As the flaring diminished, JD settled back, his arms extended behind him now. "Chris gets angry. And he's, well, he's got this thing about everything working his way. Most of the time, he's right and it is the best way. But this thing with the fire, the way he's been with Vin . . ."
He was searching for words, for ideas that would help him shape the amorphous feelings he was having, the ones for which he had no name. Intuition, Josiah knew, the young man had a lot of it, enough to know there were things at play he didn't know, things that worried him.
Josiah almost smiled, but it was more in the irony of it, and the question of how he was going to explain things that he, himself, had already intuited but didn't want to divulge.
As he struggled for a way to do this, JD went on, his words distracting. "You know, it wasn't that long ago that Vin was thinking about leaving. He asked me to get some transfer requests for him, and he seemed pretty upset. I thought then that we were going to lose him, especially since things between him and Chris seemed pretty tense -"
"When was this?" Josiah interrupted, hoping the answer was what he thought it was.
JD hardly stopped, moving right into the answer with the mental agility he demonstrated regularly. "Back in the early fall - you know, around the time that kid got stuck in the tree over near Sepulcher Mountain?"
Josiah knew, and knew well.
JD continued on. "Vin asked for transfer papers, and I got 'em. Nathan said that Chris was so upset when he found 'em that he went out looking for Vin. Things settled down, I guess, 'cause Vin never said anything else about 'em, but Chris was pretty angry right about then, and he's even worse now, even more closed-off. It's like he and Vin don't understand each other at all."
It was there, the sharp pitch just at the surface of his voice. Fear. Fear that his world was going to change, but worse, Josiah knew, fear that two people he cared deeply for were going to hurt each other.
"In a way, JD, they don't. Much of what Chris is feeling isn't related to this fire at all, but to the one from his past. For Vin, this fire is just like any other that he's worked, so Chris' reactions are surprising to him. And after a point, frustrating. Vin sees the good in fire, and while he understands Chris' worries, he sees the future that will come from the fire."
JD sighed, shifting so that he was leaning on his elbows now. He stretched his legs out as well, settling in. "I guess my problem is that I see Chris' side a little better. I know he's being over-protective, but he has to think about what's best for the Park. That's why he's the one in charge, right?"
Josiah smiled, stretching out himself, his head on his hands. "Well, that's the theory," he said. "So, what do you mean, JD? Are you more worried about Chris or Vin or both? What's really troubling you?"
JD sighed again, the sound long and low and just barely audible over the whirring of the fire. "I guess . . . it's just not right, the two of them fighting. It seems like it's so personal."
Which of course, it was. Josiah watched as another tree burst into flares, more embers shooting into the sky. " 'Some say the world will end in fire . . . '," he said quietly. He felt JD looking at him, and said more loudly, "I suspect in a way, that it is. But it'll work out, JD. Just give it time."
Before JD could argue, his radio crackled, Buck's voice carrying clearly over the dull roar around them. "Base to 707 - JD, where the hell are you? If you've gone off and gotten yourself - "
"707, I'm here, Buck," JD said, and in the light of the fire made his eyes look orange as he rolled them up in exasperation. "I'm talking to Josiah."
"Chris wants everybody to check in before they leave, and he wants us all to get out of here and get some rest. So get your ass back to the office and let's go have some breakfast. And tell Josiah - "
"I heard," Josiah said loudly, but he grinned. "I'll be along."
They sat for several minutes, though, watching the fire as dawn rose slowly, diluting its beauty and giving weight to the layers of smoke, pressing them down.
JD chattered about this and that as they made their way down the mountain and to the service vehicle tucked safely on a side road. They nodded to the firefighters and the rangers that were on the morning-shift, and Josiah let JD drive, his own thoughts drifting as they wound their way back to the center.
Buck was on the stairs, talking to several of the firefighters that were milling about amongst the reporters and ranger and some of the early-morning hikers who would be off in other areas. The visitors' section of the center wasn't open yet, but the restaurant was, and it was even more crowded than usual, the whole area operating as the base of operations for the fire crews.
"Now, ain't y'all a sight!" Buck called out as they neared, and Josiah glanced at JD, then smiled. They probably were a sight; if JD was any indication, they were both smeared black with smoke and grim and sweat, their clothes wrinkled and smelling, and their hair wild.
For his part, Buck had showered, his hair still wet. His clothes were wrinkled, but that was from being in the locker, Josiah suspected, as they didn't bear any signs of being worn recently.
"Come on over here, meet these nice ladies!" Buck called, and JD did as he was bid. Josiah, though, was tired and ready to get home.
"I've got second shift," he called, moving towards the door to the center. "You boys have fun for me."
JD frowned over his shoulder, and Buck called something, but Josiah waved a hand behind him. He'd check in with Chris then be on his way.
Inside the center was so quiet that Josiah was momentarily confused. It took him a few seconds to adapt, to realize that even away from the fire, it was still audible. That, coupled with JD's constant talk and then the general chaos outside, left him feeling strangely bereft in the sudden lack of sound.
It was darker too, only a few of the lights on, the ones leading toward the rangers' section of the building, and he made his way slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the gloom.
The voices, when he heard them, were muted, but there was no way to mistake the anger in them, or to mistake them: Chris, low and sharp, reminding Josiah of the fast burning of the fire. Vin's voice was also low, but not as sharp, his words measured and tight. Calm, in a way, like the smoke wafting over the flames. No question about his temper, it was clear in the bite of the words, but unlike Chris, unlike most people Josiah knew, Vin's temper was careful and cool. He'd learned early the destructive force of anger, learned that it worked better as a controlled burn.
Fire, Josiah thought, he was still relating everything to fire.
He wasn't aware that he had stopped until Vin came out of Chris' office, moving quickly across the expanse of open floor that divided the working ranger area from the public area. Josiah assumed that Vin saw him - he wasn't trying to hide, had no intention of eavesdropping or spying, but the younger man didn't even look around, moving with a speed that had him gone before Josiah drew breath.
"God dammit!" Chris was close behind, his words echoing through the empty area even as he disappeared behind Vin. "I'm not going to argue about this!" The words bounced around Josiah, confirmation in their way of what they were denying.
He shook his head, glad that JD was still outside. The boy hardly needed more reminders of the tensions between Vin and Chris. Josiah shook his head, knowing that this thing between them wasn't just about the fire, but, as with so much of what he had been thinking, the fire was a reflection of it.
A reflection of their personal fire, the one that was growing stronger and brighter between them.
Josiah remembered when it had started; he'd been the one to take Vin out that morning back in the Fall, when Vin hadn't needed to go, when it was clear that that trek, unscheduled as it was, was because he was running from Chris, not running to the wild. Josiah had wondered for several days afterwards, watching Chris storm around the offices like a storm struggling to make landfall, until suddenly the storm had broken.
The transfer papers, he now knew, Chris had found them and understood the consequences of the fire he'd started.
But that fire, like the one that now razed outside, burned hotter in its center, and because of that, often cast embers into parts of the heart that were still too tender and easily scorched.
Josiah stared after them, then sighed, thinking it best to leave a note on Chris' door or desk, relating that he had come by but not found boss. There were other people about, a skeleton crew this early, and most of them out with the fire, but someone else might walk by. He could buy Chris and Vin a little time, maybe, enough to calm down.
But as he ambled several steps toward Chris' office door, something slammed against a wall further away, followed by a hastily stifled cry that might have been pain.
It wasn't any of his business, of course, a point which he kept in mind even as he hurried along the same path the other two men had taken, that thought playing a counterpoint in his brain to the fear that Chris had finally gone too far, cracking like a tree in the heat of the blaze, or pushing Vin to do so.
They were in the visitor's center, just visible in the spare light of the safety lamps that burned when the main lighting was off. Vin was pressed against one solid wall, his hair loose and tangled as it hung limp around his face. His eyes blazed, his jaw was clenched tight even as he spoke through his teeth, and his fingers were white as they clutched at Chris' shoulders, his arms locked to keep the other man at bay.
For his part, Chris stood similarly, the lines of his face etched with fury, his own eyes sharp with his emotions. One of his hands gripped Vin's wrist so tightly that Josiah could see the lines of the tendons in it, see the flexed muscle of his forearm. The fist of Chris' other hand was squarely planted in the center of Vin's chest, flat against the junction of Vin's uniform shirt.
Neither of them was speaking by the time Josiah drew near, not with their mouths. Their bodies, however, spoke volumes, and Josiah slowed, watching them through the clear windows that set the reception area apart. To one side, Josiah could make out the display about fire and its role in Yellowstone, and distantly, he wondered if it were coincidence that had brought the two men to this point. He doubted it, though, given that Vin was standing next to the information about the lodgepole pine and the other plants that actually thrived in the aftermath of fires, species that had adapted to the point that their seeds only scattered because of the heat of the fire, which left the ground clear enough, in its aftermath, for the seedlings to grow.
Vin and Chris were staring at each other, locked in a battle of wills that was almost primal. For an instant, Josiah saw the raw passion in them, the forces that were so natural to each of them, that defined who and what they were individually. As bright and devastating as the fire outside, strength and power so basic as to be elemental.
Something in him stirred, an anxiety that he hadn't felt outside, even in the worst of the blaze. Perhaps, like Vin, he accepted the need for the destruction fire brought, accepted that what came from it was good.
But the destruction this could bring was different. Neither of the men before him, neither of his friends, would survive the aftermath of this fire well. They weren't the kind of people to give in to their passions, each scarred already from too many losses of faith. They weren't the kind of men who would forgive themselves.
As he stood, unable to decide what to do, the balance between Chris and Vin changed with the unpredictability of the wind. Where they had been straining against each other, suddenly they were pulled together, wrapped around each other as if they were the same person. Chris' hands fell to pull at Vin's waist while Vin's hands rose to wrap around Chris' shoulders, his fingers sliding through Chris' short hair.
Their lips met, the kiss hard and violent, and Josiah knew there would be bruises, maybe even blood. But the two men didn't seem to care, their bodies pressed so close together that Josiah wondered that they could breathe.
But breathing didn't seem to be a priority, not at first. It was only as the need for air, and perhaps the stress of trying to climb into each other, took over that the franticness of their touching slowed. The kiss gentled, the desperate clinging turned to a warmer embrace. By the time they broke apart, Chris' hands framed Vin's face, cupping him close as his lips touched Vin's forehead reverently.
Something shimmered on Chris' cheek, a slender line that Josiah understood only when Chris' lips formed the words so clearly that even from the distance, Josiah could see them. "I'm not losing you, too."
Vin's eyes were closed, his lashes dark on his high cheeks. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to, his body curving into Chris', his hands wound into the fabric of Chris' shirt.
They kissed again, this one deeper, the fire burning lower, contained. A slower burn now, Josiah knew, one that lasted longer and created more.
He watched for a time, relishing the sight of them, wild creatures taming each other. When they held each other, finding peace between them and content to be, he shifted, moving back the way he had come.
But as he turned, he felt the light touch of a gaze and found Vin's eyes peering at him past Chris' shoulder. Vin was still, and Josiah saw the fear wavering there.
He shook his head and smiled, then continued on.
His timing was perfect. Buck and JD were coming in the door as Josiah neared it, Buck laughing and JD sputtering something about Buck having no idea what he was talking about.
"Where the hell is everybody?" Buck said, loudly. "Chris! Vin! Get your asses out here!"
"They'll be along," Josiah said calmly, "and you keep yelling like that, you're gonna get Donovan in here."
Buck rolled his eyes. "That man needs to lighten up - hell, he needs to be out there like Chris has been, Chris and every other decent shift commander."
"Buck!" JD said, his tone horrified at the criticism of a superior, and despite himself, Josiah smiled.
Buck reached out, his hand smacking the back of JD's head even as he looked at Josiah and said, "Did you find our two lost boys? Shouldn't have been too hard - just follow the sound of yelling."
"Thought that was how to find you," a voice said from behind Josiah, and he turned around to see Chris moving toward him, Vin behind Chris.
"Screaming, that's how you find me," Buck grinned, clapping his hands together. "Screams of pleasure, not yelling about a damned fire - you two could peel paint off the wall, the tension between you. It done yet? Y'all ready to make up and be friends again?"
Out of the corner of his eye, Josiah saw Chris pale a little, but the man held his composure, his tone acerbic. "Didn't realize we hadn't been friends. Did you, Vin?"
Vin's gaze caught Josiah's, wary, but his tone was light as he said, "Friends ain't allowed to disagree? Well, hell, Buck, you telling me that you and Chris agree about everything?"
Buck laughed. "Don't even joke about that, Vin," and while JD laughed as well, and Chris smiled, Josiah knew in that instant that Buck knew the same thing he did.
Vin's eyes had looked away, moving between Josiah and Buck, and now they were back. Josiah didn't like the worry he saw, and he did the only thing he could think of to reassure the younger man.
"Are we eating breakfast or standing around here talking until we have to come back on shift?"
Buck and JD immediately took up the cheer, and they all headed out the door. Josiah fell back, letting the others lead, but as Vin came near, he reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "It's a thing of wonder, something to behold," he said quietly.
Vin turned to look at him, his face marred by the frown. "What's that?" he asked.
Josiah nodded, glancing at Chris, then back to hold Vin's eyes. "The things that stir the fires in a man."
In front of them, JD was talking about something, his eyes wide and happy, and Chris looked over his shoulder to smile at Vin. Spreading seeds, Josiah thought, pleased.