Summary: Chris Larabee utters some words which Vin at first takes wrong, then learns the way of things. Two different ways of looking at the same thing merge into one.
Author's Note: Thanks to my best Pard Evil Jacquie for giving me the gift of Magnificent Seven as well as constant inspiration too.
"I need you."
Trying not to flinch from the harshly spoken words Chris had uttered close to his ear, Vin nodded and stood, leading the other man from the saloon into the back alley to see what was going on. Ready for anything, he turned and looked at Chris who seemed to be looking everywhere but directly at him. "What is it? Should I get the others?"
Staring into the distance as if the words he wanted to say might be written on the side of the distant feed store, Chris cleared his throat, then said the one thing for which Vin was definitely not prepared. "Don't want the others. Want you."
The next thing he knew, his hat had banged onto his back which slammed against the side of the saloon and Chris's mouth was on his. Shoving with both hands against the other man's now heaving chest, he almost squeaked, crying out, "Larabee? What the hell?"
Chris looked ready to defend himself, tightly held, wary and watching, but deathly silent.
Vin sighed. "Oh, hell. You just startled me, is all. Wasn't quite what I expected."
"And unwanted."
"No, not that." Just to make sure the man got the message, he hooked a hand around Chris's neck and pulled him to himself so there was hardly a breath between them. Holding eye-contact, he touched just the very tip of his tongue to the little indentation there on the full bottom lip. When Chris instinctively bent his face closer to draw his tongue in, Vin pulled his head back, then slid under, around, and out from Chris's tented arms on either side of his body. "I'll be out to your place tonight. 'bout moonrise."
A curt nod was the only response and he didn't look back as he headed for his wagon.~~~~~~~~
When the tap at the door came, Chris woke from a doze, almost upsetting his chair before getting up to answer. For some reason, he couldn't take his eyes from the little puffs he could see coming from Vin's mouth which broke into a grin. "Gonna let me in, pard? Lettin' all your heat out."
Standing aside, he made a curiously formal gesture of invitation.
Vin stepped inside and chuckled, seeing the table set with good dishes. "Sorry I didn't dress for the occasion."
"Bite to eat?"
"Reckon I could eat." On the way to his seat, he lightly ran one hand across Chris's shoulder, then took off his coat and placed it on the back of the chair. "Smells like heaven."
"Just rabbit."
"Better than the just air and nothing sauced with dust I had on the way."
"Wind's kicking up." Chris ladled some thick stew onto the deep plates, then broke some bread, handing a hunk to his visitor.
"You better believe it." Vin paused, cocking his head. "Just listen at it moanin and blusterin' like a crotchety old man."
The word 'moan' had an effect on Chris he wasn't expecting and he could feel his body tensing up even though he tried to stay relaxed. For a few moments, they both ate, avoiding eye contact and neither willing to break the unusually tense silence between them.
It didn't take long for Chris to have had enough. Banging his spoon on the table, he stood. "Damn it. This has to end."
Calmly, Vin set down his own spoon and slowly rose. "I agree."
Still neither moved toward the other, the table between them seeming as wide and dangerous to cross as the Colorado.
"I was afraid you wouldn't come. You seemed..."
"I seemed spooked. Wasn't what I expected to hear when you said you needed me. Figured I would be scouting, not kissing. Threw me off you coming at it so seriously."
"You expected a joke?"
"No, just not..."
"Serious." Beginning to wonder if he'd been completely wrong about this, Chris stared down at his hands, palms flat on the wooden surface. What had he done? And more importantly, could it be undone?
"Come on, Chris. I've been giving you your head, letting you lead or run wild as you pleased. You forget I'm not a mare but a stallion, same as yourself. Think I expected you'd come courting with flowers? I don't need no wooin' and I sure as hell don't need no promises."
"Don't plan on giving any." The only promise he was willing to make was to make no promises but then, Vin knew that and had known it from the first. This thing between them was powerful but the beauty of it was that it was entirely mutual. Understanding framed those feelings neither had ever felt he had a need to discuss.
"Been on fire all day, Chris Larabee, but it was a mighty cold ride out here. Wantta warm me up again?"
This time Chris was the one who hadn't expected this. An invitation to finally touch Vin Tanner in all the ways he'd dreamed but had feared would never happen. Oddly hesitant, he wondered if it was some sense of loyalty to Sarah. He'd shared his body many times since her death but never before had he shared his heart and soul. In fact, he wasn't sure there was even enough left of either to share.
"Man could begin to have doubts standing here with no answer."
Knowing what Vin had just said was nothing but the truth, Chris was afraid of what was about to happen but wanted it more desperately than anything in the world at this moment. Striding around the table, he stopped just a little closer than normal beside Vin who stood his ground, straightening to his tallest, but turned his head to look at him eye to eye.
"Hasn't changed, Vin, I still need you. Want you too." Carefully, in the unlikely case Vin turned skittish, Chris slid his arms around the unmoving man's waist, joining his hands and linking his fingers together to make a chain to bind a lover.
Leaning just a little, Vin lightly slid his closed mouth across the side of Chris's throat, then reversed course and lingered across the jawline a little before teasing at the tight lips which were pressed stubbornly together.
"Let me in, Chris," came the hoarse whisper which caused Chris to come undone.
In the fury unleashed with those words, the two men struggled, seeming almost like a fight to the death when it was really a fight to reclaim the right to live. Chris's need to come back among the living met Vin's need to share his own life-force with a man almost lost to hope. A bruising dance of give and take flowed from the table area to the small alcove with the bed where skin finally met skin and hands finally gave pleasure as the wild wind moaned around the little house, adding to the sounds and power within.~~~~~~~~
Afterwards, Chris's voice sounded almost strangled, like he was fighting himself hard. "I just...I just need to...lay upon you. Don't know why."
Nodding in understanding, Vin closed his eyes and stroked his fingers through the blond hair tickling against his shoulder, the other hand soothingly rubbing across the sweat-dampened, tensely muscled back as Chris lowered himself upon Vin's relaxed body. Larabee wasn't the only one who knew how to gentle a high-strung stallion, he thought as he agreed, "Want that too."
The earlier almost violent desperation was gone, borne away by the rush of spent seed, leaving only stillness and contentment for Vin.
But not in Chris Larabee's heart.
Rising to his knees on the bed, he gazed down upon the man he'd earlier felt he had to have or die. Now he wasn't sure how to handle the consequences of what had just passed between them. Hard to go back to just being friends when you could still feel your commingled seed dried onto your body and hands. Hard to not let your want and need show when you now knew exactly what another man's cock felt like pulsing with need in your hand and against your own cock and belly. Hard to pretend there was nothing between the two of you when the feel of his chest, belly, hips, and legs against yours and the sounds of his pleasure echoed again and again in your mind.
Blue eyes opened and stared up at him, calm and accepting. The unusual mouth quirked into a smile. "Getting cold. Mind slidin' back down and sharing' some of that heat steaming off ya?"
And somehow that broke the spell.
He knew the secret now.
Vin was Life: a thing he'd thought he had no use for after being stalked by death at every turn for so many years. Before, he'd been a coward who'd been afraid of living because it brought too much pain. All it had done was to make him a walking corpse.
After this, he felt whole, strong again. Why the hell would he fight that? No use fighting something that intensely pure.
Placing one hand on Vin's warm chest, he felt the strong, steady beat within and knew he was in there. Knew that heart held his own even if no one else but the two of them knew it. As usual, Vin wasn't fighting against it, just accepting it as something that just WAS.
Palm rubbing against the sparse hair there, he leaned forward. "Is it safe for me to be in there?"
"Safe as can be. With every beat."
"And when it stops?"
"A feeling like this between us? It'll go on forever."
That thought took his breath away. "How do you know?"
"Just do." Scrutiny he couldn't hide from and not just because he was naked, aimed up at Chris. "You know it too."
For some reason that scared him like nothing else. Right or wrong in others' eyes, he knew he was linked forever, heart to heart, soul to soul, and now, body to body with this man he should feel he barely knew. But he did know. Knew everything. Instinctively knew this man. Owned this man and was owned by him in return. Fear raced through him and his mind screamed at him to run. Run before this could rip his scarred heart from his body once more. No, he couldn't live with loss like that again.
"Where you gonna bolt to, Larabee? Think I can't track you down?" A warm hand captured his own and brought it to the lips he'd earlier taken with his own.
Sliding the captive hand down across that fascinatingly strong jaw, his fingertips reveled in the feeling of sharp stubble, the tiny prickles making him feel so alive, and oddly, more like a man than he had ever felt before. "I can think of one place you can't follow me."
"You're wrong, Chris. Ain't nowheres I can't follow. I think you know that." Head turned and teeth nipping at the slender fingers, Vin looked up at the man who was still struggling with what he himself had accepted the day he'd looked across that street and once again learned what had been missing all his life.
"How did this..."
"Shh. No use thinking this one out, though I know you like to do that, Chris. Just is."
"But we haven't even been together lon..."
"You're wrong. We've always been together, Larabee. Just ain't been in the same place." Studying him with his head cocked to the side and only one eye open, Vin nodded as if that explained everything and the case was closed. "Now, mind if we get some sleep? You done worn me out, not that I'm complainin' but it's been a mighty long day."
Just like that. Simple.
All the teeth-gnashing and thwarted desire which he'd pent up had been for nothing. All the times he'd casually touched this man and felt fire burning through every nerve until it almost physically hurt to walk away had only been a warning. Vin had known all along something he'd had to make love to find out. They had always been together, just not the same place.
PART TWO: LOVE
Vin was no where near as calm as he'd let on earlier. Now, with Chris Larabee's head resting on his shoulder, warm body half-covering his own, one leg thrown over his, and arms wrapped around him, he listened to the wind tearing around the cabin and tried to sort out his jumbled feelings.
At first he'd been horrified, thinking that Chris was setting him up for some terrifying reason, testing to see if he might be of the kind of man other men didn't want to be around too close. But he knew in his heart that Chris was more likely to show up in one of Mary's fancier dresses than to pull something nasty like that.
Then he'd realized that the sparks between them weren't all just in his head. They were mutual. Flames now rather than just tiny pops and crackles at the campfire, surrounded them. He was now warm all the way to his bones.
And in love.
He'd never meant to fall in love, especially not with a man like Chris Larabee who knew him too well and could read him better than he read those books of his. Now Chris would know without a doubt that Vin loved him and that was the surest way he could think of to make Chris Larabee disappear. The hint of love.
It was right and proper that Chris still loved his wife. Vin's mother being dead had never stopped him from loving her, and to lose a child was one of the worst things he could think of. Hell, he'd even felt sorry for that bastard Mosely even though the sorry son of a bitch had been the one to kill his own girl and blame it on Chanu. As much as it hurt him, Vin did not blame Chris one bit for still loving Sarah and Adam with all his heart. And, to be honest, he really didn't blame Chris for wanting to join them now and then.
So what the hell was he doing here trying to make the man forget? Surely that had to be one of those sins Josiah had spoken about. It was wrong of him to enjoy seeing Chris laugh, just as Vin was in the wrong to be happy to see Chris wearing more colors and hugging Billy before taking the boy fishing or hunting. Worst of all, he was a selfish bastard to want to see Chris come all undone and cry out his name in pleasure. Surely that was what God stored up them thunderbolts for, men with thoughts like all those and men who laid with other men, both sins he was guilty of, and worse, unrepentant too.
No, no thunderbolts striking them yet but that bitch of a wind sure seemed intent on tearing down the walls around them. Strange how Chris could lie there, contented smile on his face, sleeping like a baby through it all.
Whether in contentment or frustration, before he could stop himself, Vin sighed. Chris ticklingly murmured something against his shoulder, then the leg over his own dragged his closer so his hip fit tighter against Chris's belly and a half-hard cock heated up the outside of his thigh. God help him, this temptation was going to be the death of him.
He wanted to stretch out his body on top of Chris's and tell him he loved him and make love again about a hundred times but all he did was twist his neck so he could kiss the damp forehead and whisper the forbidden words he'd never say if the man was awake. "I love you, Chris Larabee."
"Mmm... I know, Vin. Love you too."
Vin's heart stopped, then just about pounded out of his chest and he stiffened up like an hours-old corpse.
A chuckle vibrated the skin of his shoulder, then warm lips pecked him. "You were thinkin' so loud, you woke me up."
"Didn't mean to wake you up," sputtered Vin, sure that if he'd been a cat, eight of his lives were now gone.
"Well, now that we're both awake, I have some ideas about how to get sleepy again."
Feather-light touches on his hip bone and one nipple and a mischievous green gaze gave him a clear insight into exactly what Chris might have in mind. Thrilled and scared, he figured he might as well just dive right into it and did a neat fighting move to land on top. Laughing, Chris reached up and pulled him down by the hair for a kiss which he enthusiastically joined in.
"Shoulda let go like this a while ago," admitted Chris.
"Larabee. Less talk. More lovin'."
"Gotcha." After another kiss, Chris got that wild look in his eyes Vin was sure Ella Gaines had had plenty of experience with. "Ever broke a bed before, Vin Tanner?"
"Not recently." Hands hinting at what he wanted to have happen next, Vin added, "wouldn't mind tryin'."
It was an odd goal, but, what the hell, maybe they could make more noise than that wind too. Wasn't like they were fragile little flowers either. And that look in Chris's eyes made him know they were both very much alive and sleep was going to be long and deep when they were done with one another this night.
"You were right about one thing, Vin. We have always been together, even though we weren't in the same place. Wish I'd figured that out sooner but glad you let me find my way."
"Find your way with this?" Vin wrapped Chris's long fingers around his shaft.
"I reckon I could figure out how to have my way with that."
"Don't need no guide?"
"Don't need one. Wouldn't mind having the right one."
Vin's right hand guided Chris's cock upward. "You got the right one. Where you want this here left one?"
Chris's laughter didn't die away until their mouths met and even then little guffaws kept breaking from him and Vin loved the sound and feel of that against his own mouth.
Although they did not speak of love again, it was strong between them and needed no more words. True to his word, Chris made sure Vin was very sleepy by the time they once more rested in one another's arms. Love and laughter were all that was needed to bring two lives together which had always been together, just not in the same place.
EPILOGUE
Late in the morning after the chores were done and the things broken by the high winds had been repaired, Vin saddled up to go back to town. All morning they'd worked together in their usual companionable silence, even more at ease than ever, feeling as if they almost could move as one.
"See ya in town," Vin pulled the horse's head around to start off but stopped at the sound of Chris's voice.
"Vin..."
"Yeah?"
Without a word, Chris lightly tapped twice with his flattened palm to his chest over his heart.
Vin grinned. "I know."
Riding back to town in the sunshine, he felt light-hearted and content, all the furious feeling swept clean, as if by last night's howling winds, which incidentally hadn't been the only thing howling last night. The memories of that would stay with him forever. Who knew Chris Larabee could do such a good imitation of a wolf calling it's mate?THE END