Man! I Feel Like a Woman



Rating: PG13 (for language)

Disclaimer:  I  do not own or profit from the use of the Magnificent Seven characters. Thank you to MOG for the creation of the ATF.

Comments: The song is by Shania Twain, from the album Come on Over.

Archivist's Note:   This fic was previously hosted on another website and was moved to Blackraptor in September 2006.

It was Friday.  Mary had finally put the story to bed at the Denver Clarion.  The girls at the office had invited her to a new dance club, which had opened down the street.  She declined, and decided to spend a night at home- alone.  Billy had gone to his grandparent's house for the weekend.  By eight o'clock Mary was home sifting through the mail.  She would deal with it later.  She changed into a large, gray T-shirt that came to mid thigh, and she tied her hair back in a loose ponytail.  She put on the radio and uncorked some white wine, which had been in the refrigerator since she had opened it two weeks ago in a frivolous moment. There was no one to share it with, and she was not going to let Billy have some.  She grabbed the glass and her toe nail polish and relaxed against the couch.  She had to shake the bottle of polish a couple of times because the red color had separated.  It was old, like she felt lately.  When was the last time she had painted her nails?  Diligently she began to paint her toes taking a sip of wine in between. She would make herself some dinner when she finished. An evening with the cat, she mused to herself.  Maybe she should have gone out with the girls. She felt like a mom with them though, not quite fitting in.  She sighed. Her male cat, Seymour, reminded her of Chris Larabee.  Men, they were all the same, no matter their place in the animal kingdom.  The blonde tabby was perched on a windowsill, ignoring her as usual because she would not let him go outside.  He only showed her some affection every once in a great while.  Agent Larabee was the same.  She thought he liked her, but the man never showed it and had to be pushed by his friends to take her out usually with Billy in tow.  She began tapping her feet to the music.

I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin'alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I want to scream and shout

Mary got up from the couch and danced over to the stereo increasing the volume.  Mary began to sing along.

No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time

The best thing about being a woman
Is the perogative to have a little fun and. . .

By this time Mary's hair had fallen out of the ponytail.  She danced around the living room and into the kitchen grabbing a spoon and singing into it.

Oh, Oh, Oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, Oh, Oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, Oh, Oh, I wanna be free-yeah to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!

Mary screamed when she saw the man at the door.  Chris Larabee was standing looking at her through her glass slider.  She lowered the volume of the radio, but could still hear it.

The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance-we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair down.

She unlocked the slider and as soon as she did she saw a yellow blur run through her feet.

"Seymour!" She yelled, "Get back here!" The cat went off into the woods behind her modest, split-level home.  "Fine, be that way.  See if I care if you get eaten by the coyotes!"

Finally she acknowledged her unexpected guest, whose mouth was agape before her.  She looked at what she was wearing, and the way she had been acting and blushed.  Mister Larabee had received quite a show tonight. She cleared her throat.

"Chris, what brings you here this evening?" She looked over the man in her doorway.  Blonde hair, handsome face, someone she wanted to get to know better, but at this rate it wasn't going to happen.

"I rang the doorbell, and no one answered, but I could here the music."  He gestured to the stereo, which made her face warm more. "So I came around back."  She nodded, yet still wanted to know what brought him to her home. He held out a bag.

"I brought these for Billy," Chris opened the bag so Mary could peek inside.  It was a blue sweat suit with the letters ATF emblazoned on it.

She smiled. Billy had been named an honorary ATF Agent and really enjoyed his time spent with the federal officers. "He's not home," she explained further. "He is with his grandparents.  He'll be upset that he missed you." She heard the ending lyrics of the song.

I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a woman

"Chris, I haven't eaten dinner yet, and I was just about to make some pasta."  She held up the spoon in triumphant. She was glad she was able to cover up what she had actually been using it for.  She decided at that moment to give over to the flirtatious mood the song had put her in. "Would you like to join me?"

He nodded, grinned at her and entered Mary's home.  Maybe tonight would be a fun, and she would get to share the wine. Man, sometimes it felt great to be a woman.

The End