"Unh, Chris, that's just--""Hold on, Vin. Don't--god, don't move--"
They held that way for a long beat, frozen in place with Vin half bent over the table that sat in the middle of the little shack, head resting on forearms and arms braced as support to both their weight. His own thighs were rigid as he was pressed against Vin's back, nothing between their bodies but the fine layer of sweat built up from heated flesh married to heated flesh.
It was too good, it wouldn't last--Vin couldn't last much longer, he knew, his hands making sure of that as they circled his hips, worked the length of his cock, knowing by now just how much squeeze, pressure and rhythm applied where and when and how--
But, hell, he couldn't last much longer, either, and he knew it. Not with the heat of Vin surrounding his cock, and not with working Vin this way. Feeling him and hearing him, those soft, guttural groans Vin was voicing from every little touch, his body sweetly responsive and his own reacting to every hitched breath, every drawn out moan. God, he was craving release. He held on tight, holding his breath because even that much flexion would send him spilling and oh, fuck, he just didn't want to quite yet give in--
"Don'tmove-don'tmove-don'tmove," he repeated in a mindless litany to himself and aloud to Vin because if he could hang on to this crush of sensation just a few more minutes--
But then Vin did move and the pressure in and around his cock increased with dizzying intensity, rising to the point he couldn't hold on himself and sure as hell couldn't keep his own body from reacting. With both arms tightly wrapped around Vin, he pulled him up hard and back, at the same time shoving his hips forward as far as he could and then all but slamming them repeatedly into Vin, finally finishing with a few quick, short thrusts until the heat in his groin swallowed him whole and he came at the same time he heard Vin coming; hard and long and completely satisfying.
He was panting, his forehead pressed between Vin's shoulder blades because he just needed a minute. Needed to catch his breath one quick second and so closed his eyes because he was so incredibly drained--
"Chris?"
"Hmm?" His thighs were aching, knees trembling and feeling near to collapse and it amazed him sometimes, how it was he and Vin had found this sort of connection. Not just the physical, though the physical sure played a damned good part in it all, but also some deeper sort of union, something he was hesitant to contemplate further for fear of stumbling over words not meant to ever surface in his lifetime. Especially not words involving another man.
Besides. This was enough for the present--this touching and stroking and fucking. The fact Vin let him, the fact he let Vin in return seemed to say a hell of a lot more than any words could explain and right now, it was plenty. It was enough.
With one hand, he brushed aside the hair sticking to Vin's neck, teeth grazing over the damp skin there--
Then spun him around and pushed him down on his back to the table, falling down after. With both hands framing Vin's face, he lowered himself closer with deliberate slowness. The deep of Vin's eyes stared up at him and he marveled at the desire still shining so clearly from them. God, he loved to fuck this man.
Vin wiggled underneath him and he stopped for a moment then grinned in return, his head shaking in amazement because geeze, there were times the years between them were just so painfully obvious. "Already? You're kiddin' me, right?"
Vin just angled his head, a shade of laughter and dusting of lust showing all over him.
"Can't be more 'n two minutes gone by, Vin."
Vin just smiled and half rose and they both wearily made their way to the small rag-stuffed mattress waiting in the corner on its rickety bed frame.
Too small for two bodies, they collapsed almost on top of the other, Vin giving him a glance and then smiling. "Reckon I can hold on 'til later."
"I'm lookin' forward to the morning already," he responded, grinning and feeling a slight twitch or two down there though knowing that was all he'd get for a good couple of hours.
Vin shifted against him. "You know I told Josiah I'd ride out with him first thing come dawn, right?"
"Yeah," he said, remembering. "Right. Can't see how a man his size needs an escort, though."
"Chris--"
It was odd this pang of something akin to jealousy sparking like a tiny flame deep inside. Not like him at all and he waved a hand dismissively. "No, I know. He likes talkin' to you after he's seen his sister."
"We don't 'xactly talk. Think he just likes havin' someone there is all."
He knew that. Knew, too, Josiah did have a sort of connection with Vin. Not like what he and Vin shared, but after that business a while back with the fake Pinkerton and how strongly Vin stood by Josiah, he could understand Josiah's trust in Vin. "Gonna stop a night on the ride home?"
"Depends on if his sister's up t' seein' him. Sometimes she don't want him there at all. Sometimes don't even know when he is there and sometimes--sometimes she's like he says she was when they was kids. Don't want him t' leave. Reckon she's like that, we'll stay the night, head back next mornin'. Josiah likes to stop at a little town near t' Greeley--got a place serves up 'bout the best breakfast I ever ate."
Which was saying a lot, he thought, smiling. For someone lean as Vin, he could put away the food. "Just don't eat so much you can't watch each other's back."
"Hell, Chris," Vin laughed. "Nothin' t' watch for--town's got the name a' Peace for a reason. Small. Quiet. Nothin' much I ever seen what goes on there. Don't come much better 'n that."
No, he thought to himself because saying the words out loud would just break it all apart and he draped an arm over Vin's side and pulled him closer still, his spent cock nestling home as he tucked it between the still slick warmth of Vin's ass--
It didn't come much better than this.
+ + + + + + +
"Hell in a hand basket," he spat, that phrase crossing his mind at the same time did the one about being too damned old for this sort of thing.
Racing across the countryside being chased by banditos shooting at them for God knew what reason was the last thing he'd thought would happen when they'd set out after breakfast. His steak and eggs weren't sitting right at all. Lord, his stomach couldn't take this much longer.
"Get on, Josiah," Vin was yelling back at him. "They're gainin'!"
As though he was just ambling along here. Yes, he knew they were gaining, and if that hadn't occurred to him surely the bullets raining down around them was a pretty huge tip off and in thinking that, didn't one just come that close to send his ear to ringing.
No breath left to shout back, he kicked his horse harder and held on fast.
Banditos? Bounty hunters, maybe? Wasn't even sure, just knew as he and Vin started the ride home from the quiet town of Peace after breakfast there were all of a sudden four riders bearing down on them. Riding hard and definitely looking none too peaceful.
Oh, to be back home in town just sanding down a few boards or so.
Vin was racing well ahead and damn, that horse of his could fly like the wind. Vin was tucked low in the saddle and moving as one with that animal as though they were connected somehow, all of which just served to remind him how many years he had on that young man.
Another bullet flew too damned close for his liking and hell, there was hardly time to pull his own gun and return fire and sure that piece of Vin's would be too damned cumbersome to be of much use. They were racing for their lives and he knew it too well.
Where'd these riders come from so fast?
Vin angled around a formation of boulders and he followed behind, hoping there was some sort of cover to be had and hoping more they'd have time to get behind it if there was. Once he rounded the turn he saw Vin literally fly from the saddle to scramble up to the top of the rocks, gun already in hand and blazing away at the men following only a hair's breadth from their backs. He followed suit, his own aim proving to be accurate now he wasn't racing along on horseback and one man fell like a stone to the ground to roll a few turns before coming to a dead stop. Literally.
One down, three to go and who the hell were these men anyway?
There wasn't time to think with lead flying paths into the boulders all around them and shards of rock spraying out after and he chanced a look around their cover to find two of the riders disappearing from sight behind a different group of boulders off to their right. Another man was racing his way to their rear and looking like he was going to make it and as soon as he thought that didn't Vin take aim and take him off his horse.
"Nice shot," he yelled over the sound of Vin's gun firing at someone else on their other side and though he knew his eyes weren't what they used to be, he couldn't see for shit where the guy went. "Where is he?"
"Rocks, right," Vin called back and was then up and moving again, scrambling to the other side of the boulders and kicking up a shower of hail with his boots while disappearing down the other side.
"Damn," he muttered, knowing his days of moving that quickly and with that much agility were over and then reloading his own spent rounds and sure enough, now their pursuers were off their horses and that much closer, bullets whizzing around them with much better precision and such degree of earnest it made him realize these guys just really wanted them dead.
Two down and two to go; odds were getting a little more even.
"J'siah!" Vin yelled from around the other side of the rocks, "watch your back. I hit one of 'em but lost sight 'a the last fucker!"
Three down then, he thought, rising just that much to get a look and noticing things had now become a whole lot more quiet. Deathly still, actually, with enough quiescent calm to make think all hell was going to break loose any moment. His back to the flat of the rock he crouched behind, he gave Vin a nod as he came climbing back into view.
Then the tiniest hint of shadow flickered off to his side and he heaved himself up and around, his shoulder suddenly exploding with horrific pain as it was struck with a hard blow and he felt his gun slip to the ground as his left side went numb from neck to fingertips. He fell to one knee, body angled against the rock at his back and he watched in horror everything around him slow down to crawling speed.
Vin's eyes shot wide open and were clearly filled with surprise as he came from around the rock and then his own ears filled with the deafening roar of a gunshot by far too close, this quickly followed by a second report and he was scrambling to reach his own felled weapon when he saw Vin spin and tumble back down the way he'd come.
A heavy weight fell forward onto his legs and he found himself staring into the open, unseeing eyes of a dead man.
What the hell?
"Josiah."
He knew that voice plain as day and shot a look upward, the outline of a man standing there, body framed black against the bright of the sky.
Just too fucking unbelievable.
"Chris," he all but choked out, the sudden appearance of this man at this time almost too much a miracle to believe, and with that thought, offered up a silent prayer of thanks to the heavens above.
Chris was moving then, racing past him and he knew why. Vin.
Let him be okay, he told himself, kicking off the body at his feet and not caring as it slid away and it took him two tries to gain his feet--what in the hell was wrong with his shoulder--and he stumbled his way to where he'd seen Vin fall.
He was there, Vin, flat out on his back on the ground with Chris crouched at his side and from the look on Chris' face, all was definitely not well.
"Is he--" Words he couldn't utter about a thought he couldn't face just fell away and all he'd have to see were Chris' eyes and he'd have his answer; that second, it wasn't just his shoulder feeling numb.
"He's breathin'," Chris replied and again he sent his eyes heavenward.
Breathing. Alive.
Thank you, Lord.
"But it ain't good," Chris added.
No, he knew it couldn't be as Vin looked halfway to dead lying there in a heap and Chris hadn't moved a muscle from him, features drawn down and his eyes and hands roving gently over every inch of Vin's supine form.
He maneuvered his way toward the two of them, his entire left arm feeling like so much dead weight and he hissed as he somehow jarred it again while crouching down on the other side of Vin.
"How bad?"
Chris half lifted Vin's coat and it didn't take a pair of young eyes to see the blood there.
"The bullet?"
"I don't know--still in there, I think," Chris replied, nodding toward Vin's right shoulder and his stomach clenched from the realization.
"We gotta get moving." Which was going to be easier said than done but Vin clearly needed help and the heat from the sun wasn't doing anyone any good and Lord, home, which also meant Nathan, was at least a good couple of hours away.
Vin began moaning then, a soft, barely-heard sort of breathy sound and Chris produced a canteen from somewhere, undoing Vin's bandana and wetting it down.
"Help me get him to come around," Chris asked.
Which took only seconds, actually, as the first drop of water hitting his face had Vin's eyes popping open and the man trying to scramble his way backward, clearly none too aware of what was going on around him.
"Chris?" Vin asked, escape halted as his somewhat bewildered eyes caught sight of Chris by his side and yes, Josiah thought, that wasn't all so unexpected that Chris' name would be the first word for Vin to say.
They were connected, these two. He'd always sensed that between them, had seen at least some proof of that on more than a few occasions when neither man knew he'd been watching, yet he'd never thought to question whatever that other was budding underneath a so obvious growing closeness. None of his damned business.
Realization of where he was seemed to be rolling over Vin and Josiah figured it had to be a good sign he was up and coherent and alive, thank God, especially when what happened could have ended so much worse. Chris was easing Vin back down to check out the wound and it occurred to him he hadn't yet questioned Chris' sudden and incredibly timely appearance.
"Perfect timing there, Chris."
"Got my moments," Chris replied, echoing a phrase they'd all heard Vin say more than a few times, usually after saving their collective asses from a perch on high somewhere.
Chris was whispering something to Vin who was more grinding his head into the rock than nodding back, grimacing and clearly in pain with his and Chris' hands grasped tightly together and then Chris glanced up with a nod. "Got a wire early this morning said there'd been trouble north of Peace. Two men got bushwhacked, robbed. Shot dead, both of 'em and I just got this feeling--"
"Hadn't heard any of that. Good thing, that feeling of yours." Yes, he thought again, definitely these two were connected.
"Buck told me I was actin' like an ass. Said if anyone could take care of themselves it'd be the two of you an' I shouldn't--" Vin groaned then and Chris let his hand rest lightly atop the man's good shoulder in as much a move to still him, Josiah thought, as well as offer some measure of comfort. "We gotta get him help."
"Near two hours to town."
"I can ride," Vin suddenly chimed in, rolling and clearly biting back a muffled curse in reaction to what had to be a whole lot of pain as he tried to rise.
"We're closer to Peace, Chris," he stated, moving to help Chris ease Vin upright.
Vin was shaking his head, shifting away and pressing his left hand to his right shoulder. Blood already stained both his hands. "Not by much 'n I'd rather Nathan see to this."
He watched Chris and Vin share some long, silent moment, both men staring at one another and then Chris shuffled to his feet while easing Vin up to his. "You got a bullet in you."
Vin was nodding, breath already coming in short pants yet looking adamant about what they had to do to get him help. "I can ride."
Besides, what was the alternative?
The man has a bullet in him, and the realization of just where they were and how far to anyplace else was laid out before them and really, no matter what they'd have to get Vin riding somewhere to get some help because out here, in the middle of all this dirt and rock and nothing, help was not going to happen.
Chris was shoving Vin's bandanna inside Vin's shirt as a makeshift bandage of sorts and then Vin stumbled and Chris steadied him and he followed after, never mind the challenge of easing to his own feet without the use of his left arm.
Chris was looking at him. "You okay? I saw the rock he got you with."
"That what it was?" He rotated his shoulder and flexed his fingers; hurt like hell, though he guessed he ought to be thankful he'd been crouched far enough behind the boulder that he hadn't been shot as well. "It'll be okay--starting to get some feeling back."
Vin was bent some, back leaning against the face of a huge rock and breathing heavily. He already looked like hell and Josiah couldn't imagine how much the next few hours' ride was going to take out of him. Just watching him was making his own body tired.
They made their way back to the horses, glad there were horses to get to and that they'd not run too far off and all of that a relief given Vin looked about out on his feet already and they'd only managed the short hike down to the bottom of the hill.
Two hours to home and it might as well have been two days.
+ + + + + + +
There was a part of him that wanted to just unload his gun into the dead men's heads. Had been all he could do not to kick the guy that shot Vin as they passed him but now, as he watched Vin moving stiffly and trying not to show how much pain he had to be in, he grit his teeth and pushed down the rage lying so close under his skin.
Anger wouldn't be any help to Vin, the men were all dead and in that there was at least some feeling of just reward knowing they'd be food for vultures.
Vin would be okay, he assured himself. They weren't that far from home and Nathan, that thought alone allowing his anger over this whole thing to subside, though what was creeping in its place in the pit of his gut was worse. Fear--and he was a man not used to that emotion or the feeling of uneasiness starting to churn somewhere deep inside.
The wire they'd got said the men who'd shot at Vin and Josiah were a band of robbers and horse thieves. Had killed those two men outside of Peace, which set off some sort of warning in his head he couldn't quite ignore and even though Buck had been right in Vin and Josiah being pretty damned capable, it was just damned luck he'd been riding close enough by to hear the shots when he had.
Just a second longer and Vin would have been--
No.
Hell.
Vin would be fine, was fine--was talking and walking, albeit slowly and a bit more crookedly, but aware and moving. Okay. They'd ride back to home and then Nathan would take over and Vin would be laid up flat on his back for a while and bitching, but still okay.
He was standing there, Vin, sort of sinking down into himself while leaning against his horse and the look on his face as he stared up at the saddle sent a lightning bolt of renewed fear searing though his chest. Not so okay now.
"Lemme help you."
Vin hesitated, then gave a curt nod as though having to acknowledge the fact he needed help was some sign of weakness, but he stood there waiting for a boost which he gave him, not missing the choked back grunt of pain Vin loosed as he heaved up into the saddle.
Hunched over, one hand clutching the horn and the other pressed tightly to the pad of cloth covering the wound, Vin finally raised his eyes and the agony in them stabbed at his own heart.
What if he'd lost him without ever telling him exactly how much--
"Okay?" he asked him, biting down the end to that thought and thinking Vin now looked anything but okay--Vin's eyes were tearing and he was brushing over them with his sleeve before sending up another nod and he could see Vin's lips pressed tightly together, his hands shaking and he didn't want to think on how unsteady Vin already seemed with hours of ground still to cover.
"I'm okay, Chris. Let's go."
Not really okay and with a bullet still in him and the ride ahead long enough to make them all uneasy--
"Chris? You ready?"
He turned to Josiah saying his name, surprised to see how far ahead both he and Vin had already moved and he hadn't noticed. He adjusted his hat and turned his horse to follow after, a growing measure of worry gnawing at him as he watched Vin's back.
Damn, they couldn't get back to town soon enough.
+ + + + + + +
The first time they stopped had been at Chris' request and he'd all but rolled his eyes thinking Chris was being a bit too watchful. He'd felt okay then--yes, hurting some and yes, a bit tired, but mostly just sore and thought it pretty much unnecessary to be halting their progress already. He felt bad enough without having to stop when he didn't need to--
Now, though, with the sun beating down on his back and each step Peso took jarring his shoulder, the pain spiraling outward to the tips of his fingers, down part of his side and up into his neck and jaw--now, yeah. He could use a break.
"Chris," he said, guiding Peso to a halt without bothering to look if Chris and Josiah had stopped with him. "Gotta take a minute."
There wasn't an angle to his shoulder, neck or back he'd yet found to make himself any more comfortable, and over the past half-hour the throbbing around the wound seemed to just worsen with each passing minute. No surprise there, considering he had a bullet stuck in him, but Lord, just for a moment he'd like to get off his damn horse.
They stopped and he opened his eyes when he realized he'd closed them and found Josiah standing there with an expectant look on his face.
"Ain't gonna up and fall out the saddle, Josiah," he grumbled, surprised at how his breath caught in his throat. He needed a long, cool drink and, Lord, the ground looked an awful long ways away.
"Just offering up a hand, Vin," Josiah said and, as he slid from his seat to land on less than sturdy footing, found he was glad the man was there.
"Your shoulder?" he asked, nodding to the one arm Josiah seemed to be keeping close to his body.
"Bit sore, but it'll be fine."
"Here," Chris announced as he appeared, canteen already in hand. "Drink."
He did, the water warm and tinny, laced with an underlying taste that was all canteen but he grabbed for it quickly, sure he'd never be able to down enough to slake his thirst.
"Ought to check that wound," Josiah stated.
He agreed. Felt like it had been slowly trickling blood the entire ride and he went to move to sit but found, instead, he'd somehow just plopped right down on his ass, sort of like a dropped sack of flour.
Josiah was off rummaging in his saddlebags and Chris crouched on his haunches in front of him. Kind of odd the way Chris was wavering back and forth in a sort of shimmering way and it reminded him of a mirage, a bit like the ones so easily seen in the desert which, he remembered, was pretty much where they were now and damn, it was so hot--
"Vin?"
The tone of Chris' voice caught his attention more than the calling of his name and he peered through the bright sun wreaking havoc with his eyesight to find Chris looking at him like he'd grown another eye or something. He'd been drifting. He shook his head. Felt full of cobwebs.
"Vin?" Josiah this time, and he and Chris set hands on him and were staring at his shoulder and feeling his forehead and mumbling to each other, all of which was bugging the crap out of him. He really just wanted to rest a minute and felt too tired to care about the words being tossed over his head. The effort to follow along left him drained. They could do what they wanted as long as he didn't have to participate.
A finger brushed too near the wound and he cursed and flinched away. "Don't be doin' that!"
"Gotta stop the bleeding, Vin, or you're gonna lose too much and then it won't matter how long it takes to get back to town."
Well, hell, he thought then nodded because the last thing he wanted to do was bleed to death. It was just too damned hot for that.
"Just go easy, is all," he requested. They tried to do whatever they thought would help and he tried not to hit them because it hurt like all hell when they messed around his shoulder and the thought of having to get back up on his horse was making him dizzy, a bit queasy and a whole lot cranky.
"Bullet--can y' dig it out?" Wasn't he thought he'd not be able to make the rest of the ride home, he'd ridden longer distances in hotter weather with a bullet in him before--and didn't just thinking about that old wound in his side set it to twitching--but it sure would be nice not to have to feel the thing grating against bone like it was.
Chris and Josiah exchanged some sort of unspoken thought between them and if they said something to him, he missed it entirely. They both frowned a bit and he figured they must have already talked about doing just that.
"Ain't something we want to have to do unless you don't think you can make it back to Nathan in town."
Yeah. He could. Just, "Thought maybe if it was somewhere easy to get to--" because it was throbbing pretty fucking badly and he figured he'd feel a whole lot better if it wasn't in there grinding away.
"We could try, Vin, but it might just make it worse than it already is--rather if you can hold on, let Nathan--"
He nodded. Yeah, he could hold on a bit longer. Just hurt like hell was all.
The sun was baking him and he let his eyes close again to keep it from burning through them to the back of his skull, right through his hat. His head was killing him.
"Vin?"
"I'm right here," he answered, thought he'd answered and wondered if he'd somehow faded away for a bit and not known it, the way Chris was saying his name a second time.
Now Josiah was in front of him, waving something in front of his face. Made his head hurt worse.
"You with us?"
"Where the hell else would I be?" He shifted where he sat, a moan erupting too fast to suppress and his mood definitely taking a rapid decline.
"Ready to keep on?"
They were both there, staring at him. Assessing him, and though he felt he'd rather just sit here forever and rot until he became one with the desert because the alternative in having to move was by far so much less appealing, that wouldn't make the bullet come out any faster.
"Ready," he muttered and shuffled to his feet. Chris was there, his hands helping and he leaned into him for a long beat as they stood next to Peso. It was the best feeling he'd had all day, touching Chris.
"Let's get you up."
"There's a thought," he grinned and gave Chris what he hoped was a searing look.
"Settle down. You're hurt." But Chris was grinning in return and then quickly swept forward when Josiah turned away from them, his lips brushing over his own like the softest of breezes.
It was hell getting back into the saddle, though fortunately, Peso managed to behave for the most part and even with the wound in his shoulder screaming its protest, he smiled from the feel of Chris' hand sweeping a slow as molasses pass across his ass before he sat.
"Let's ride," Josiah called.
Yeah, he thought and shifted to try and ease the ache, let's ride.
+ + + + + + +
Vin wasn't going to make it to town.
Damn it.
For a while there he thought it would be okay. That Vin would be okay. That they'd all be riding in together, Vin shuffled off to Nathan's capable hands while he and Chris settled in at a table in the saloon with a bottle of whiskey helping to dull the pain of watching a friend suffer.
Thing was, life clearly wasn't going to play along with his plan.
The last stop they'd made, Vin seemed coherent enough. Had managed to down a healthy amount of water and not spew it up like he'd thought he might. Had offered up some gravelly responses when they spoke to him, knew where he was and who they were and seemed grounded enough to make both Chris and him feel somewhat more assured of getting him back to town. Twice as slow as it normally might take, maybe, because Vin was hurting more with each passing mile, but definite forward progress made.
Now, though--
Hell in a hand basket. All over again.
Vin was looking past pale and practically reeling in the saddle--had been for long enough both he and Chris had flanked him closely for the past few miles, the thought there that Vin was going to reach the end to his endurance. Just under an hour still to go and they'd hoped, he'd prayed, Vin could hold on long enough.
"Think we need to stop, Chris."
Even from where he was riding ahead of Chris, he could detect the concern sweeping over the man's eyes as he called back to him. Got the idea Chris was thinking pretty much along the same path.
He reached over and pulled the reins on Vin's horse, the man's one hand only barely holding onto them and they slid free with ease. Vin turned to look at him, a glazed look there like he'd just woken up from a deep sleep, though recognition was still there, too.
"'m real tired, Josiah."
"I know, Vin."
He was already on the ground and moving to catch Vin half-slipping from the saddle in a slow motion topple and then Chris was there as well and together they eased Vin to the ground.
Chris handed over a canteen and he squatted down in front of Vin sitting there in a sprawl of dusty clothing.
As thirsty as Vin had been, he only half-heartedly drank this time-- definitely not the best of signs.
"Feels hotter," Chris said, lowering himself down next to Vin, a hand pressing to the side of Vin's face. Vin looked awful and the fact he didn't make even the barest attempt to brush away that hand when Chris let it rest there was more telling than not.
Either Vin was used to the feel of Chris' hands on him, something he didn't really want to contemplate further but wouldn't be all too surprised were it to be true, or Vin just really didn't have energy enough to care.
"Here," Chris said, already moving to help Vin lower himself all the way flat and grimacing along with Vin when he let loose a cry of pain as he shifted. "You rest up."
Vin just nodded and let his eyes slip shut and he could read in Chris' face the same unease he was pretty sure was written on his own.
Vin was failing. It was hard to accept.
Since he'd come to know Vin, all these seven men, really, what had been a diminishing faith in man and the powers of a greater being slowly became reinforced. Even doubts about himself and his own failings were fading to tolerable levels again. Because of these men, he felt empowered with the gift of inner healing.
Vin in particular had stood by his side in the face of that horror those months ago when he could have given a rat's ass over what was happening to his life, and through that had helped him come crawling back from a self-imposed penance to a life worthy of living again. He'd been able to help Hannah again and, with Vin's quiet strength riding by his side, had been able to face a slew of old demons, both his sister's and his own.
He'd now do whatever was needed to help this man, his friend.
Chris was crouched low, his thumb tracing the edge of his lower lip and Josiah waited. More than any of them, Chris knew Vin. It would be his decision how hard to push him the last hour to home.
"Think we need to split up here, Josiah."
"Chris?" This wasn't what he was expecting to hear. No way in hell was he going to leave Chris with Vin out here under the harsh sun with nothing offered by way of protection. Absolutely not.
"We're what, little less than an hour from town? My cabin . . . " Chris stood, quiet for a moment and then looking off into the distance as though dissecting every miserable inch of mile left to travel. "He ain't gonna make it much longer, Josiah, especially not the way we're moving slower and slower. Riding like this is taking a lot out of him. Wound's still been leaking blood all this time."
"I ain't leavin' you both out here--"
"Not askin' you to. You go on. Ride like hell to town and get help. I'm takin' Vin to my cabin--it's closer and he can rest up there 'til you come with Nathan."
He didn't want to leave them, wasn't at all sure that was the best of plans, but Vin looked like a man well used past his last reserves and Chris was looking worn around the edges, fraying a bit more with each stop made. Tired and haggard himself, they were all feeling every inch of this overly long trek and yeah, he supposed his riding off made more sense. He could be a hell of a lot more help leaving them than not.
Just, there was this niggling feeling starting to fester in the deep of his chest that said he might not ever again see Vin alive.
Which was complete bullshit. Chris was right. He could ride a hell of a lot quicker on his own and that meant getting Nathan to Vin so much the faster and wasn't that what the ultimate goal was here?
"All right." He knelt by where Vin lay. "Vin?"
Vin's eyes didn't open and for a half a beat he thought him asleep-- or unconscious--but then that rough drawl scratched through the quiet. "I'll be okay, J'siah. You just ride."
"Faster than lightning," he added, his own voice taking on a rough edge, thickened from hearing how exhausted Vin sounded. Three stops made in the past twenty minutes for Vin to settle himself, they were all exhausted.
He grasped Vin's hand and their eyes caught and though they didn't share exactly the same connection he and Chris clearly did, there was still a bond there. "I'll be back."
Vin nodded then closed his eyes again. "I'll be holdin' on."
"Holding you to that, Vin. You remember that."
+ + + + + + +
Getting Vin back into the saddle had been more a struggle than he'd anticipated and he hoped like hell was one he'd not have to repeat. Thank God Josiah had still been there to help.
He'd decided not to ride double behind Vin figuring they'd get to his cabin so much the faster without stressing one of the horses, so he and Josiah tied him onto the saddle. Even if Vin slipped into unconsciousness, which from time to time, he feared, had already happened, at least Vin couldn't fall from his horse. Vin hadn't even protested when they'd wrapped the bindings around him or when he'd taken up his horse's reins to lead him onward. Not sure he'd even noticed.
He'd made the right decision, going to his cabin. The distance there was less than getting on to town and at least he'd be able to get Vin off the horse and onto a bed--and even with these worst of circumstances, didn't that thought bring a warmth to his heart.
He and Vin were lovers. It amazed him. Shocked him, too, in a way, though not so much because Vin was a man--he'd had fair enough encounters with cowboys when he was younger, those dusty wanderers filling a small need in him he'd known about since he could remember and it wasn't until marrying Sarah that he'd finally given up that desire--but because since the death of his wife, he hadn't expected to find himself having any sort of feeling for anyone again. Hadn't wanted to. Hadn't wanted anyone close enough to him to stir up that sort of emotion.
Then slowly over the past year plus, he'd somehow given over a part of his heart to this man, that part he'd thought long gone numb. Dead. Not that Vin knew any of it, how he felt. Not that he ever would. There was no reason to ruin what they had by putting any of it to words.
Besides, what would he possibly say?
"Chris?"
Vin's voice was small and rough, hard to hear and it gripped him deeply how completely spent and in pain Vin sounded.
"Right here, Vin. You doin' alright?"
He was watching him, turned back toward him though Vin had hardly raised his head from his chin.
"Ain't no worse," Vin replied though that was pretty much a lie and they both knew it. He looked worse, was carrying himself even more stiffly. Sounded like hell.
"You need something?" Lord, he hoped not. If Vin needed to get down, he wasn't sure he'd ever get back up again.
Vin was looking up then, peering somewhat squinty-eyed at the land around them. Looking like he had the mother of all headaches. He was so pale.
"Wonderin' how much longer is all."
Not too long, it wouldn't take much more to get to his place and he told all that to Vin who just nodded once, then dropped his head to his chin again.
There was a part of him that ached to reach out and grab hold of Vin, as if his touch alone could anchor him to this world.
"We're getting there, Vin. You just hold on."
+ + + + + + +
Hold on. Yeah, he was holding on. Holding on to the saddle to keep it from spinning out from underneath him.
When had he got so dizzy?
And Tired. He wanted to just lie down somewhere and then remembered where they were headed. Josiah had left to get Nathan and he and Chris were on their way toward the shack Chris called a cabin.
Strange how everything inside his mind seemed so clouded, hazy.
Took a minute to realize Chris was turned some, looking back and watching him and he stared back a long beat, sensing but not exactly sure of what seemed off until he realized Chris held the reins to his horse and he was somehow bound to his own saddle. He stared at the rope winding around his legs.
He couldn't even remember it happening.
Peso chose that moment to hop over a rocky patch and suddenly his shoulder was ablaze, burning as though something was stabbing at him with fiery knives and he gasped, eyes tearing and his one good arm clutching at his bad as if to keep it from being ripped away.
Hands were on him then, pulling at him, calling to him but he couldn't help, couldn't hear, could do nothing else save to sink into the pain as it spread through him in nausea-inducing waves. He felt sick, then he was, watery vomit spewing and the world was reeling around him and the only thing he knew was the agony of his body--
It was blessed relief that a blanket of darkness enshrouded him and then there was pain no more.
+ + + + + + +
This wasn't happening--was not fucking happening now when they were getting so close--
He'd heard Vin cry out and practically wrenched his own neck in a quick spin around to find him clearly in agony, somehow having jarred his shoulder which, by the look of the tightened features of Vin's face, was pretty much now an all encompassing avalanche of pain.
He called to him to no avail--Vin couldn't hear him, looked white as a sheet and in the three seconds it took to sidle his horse up to Vin's and offer a hand to squeeze, Vin vomited, then went startlingly limp and oh, God--
Was he even breathing?
In that second, it didn't matter how long it had taken to get Vin onto his saddle, he was now only trying to get him off, all the while struggling to keep his own balance as he undid the ropes while bracing most of Vin's weight and hurrying best he could before they both just tumbled flat out to the ground--
Which just about happened when the ropes loosened and Vin came sliding to him in a boneless heap.
Now they were both on the ground in more a sprawl than sitting and after reassuring himself not once but twice that, yes, Vin was still breathing, thank God--and how did Nathan do that, anyway, manage to find someone's pulse when all he could hear was the blood pounding inside his own head as he'd frantically pressed fingers to Vin's neck- -he gently moved out from under him to get a look at the wound.
He could almost smell it, the blood, and knew pulling Vin out of the saddle was the right thing in that the wound definitely needed seeing to--the whole of the pad they'd shoved there pretty much soaked through and he peeled it back, wincing at the condition beneath. Red, raw and angry and his knees felt weak from the sight because he'd seen clean wounds in his lifetime and this definitely did not look like those.
"Jesus, Vin," he whispered, knowing Vin couldn't hear him and glad of that fact he couldn't feel, either, as he gently probed the skin around the area. Warm to the touch--infected, maybe, which was what Nathan always said he feared most about a wound, but then, all of Vin seemed too warm and he bent down to press lips lightly to Vin's temple to test that fact. Definitely fevered.
There was a decision to be made, though the choice not too difficult. Either try to remove the bullet himself right there in the middle of all the dust and dirt and miserable heat from the sun and hope like hell he could--hope, too, Vin wouldn't just up and die from the shock of it all or the infection that would surely worsen--
Or, fuck the slower pace they'd been maintaining so Vin wouldn't hurt any more than possible and take off like the hounds of Hell were on their heels to get them both the hell to his cabin and wait for Nathan to show.
Nathan, who had removed more bullets than any of them and knew what in the hell he was looking at and had all those medicines and herbal potions and reeking-to-high-heaven poultices and things.
So no difficult decision this, just--
How the hell did he go about getting Vin back up on that horse?
He was out like light, body completely limp and features lax and the weight of him as he'd caught him falling from his horse seemed nearly double what it should have been. He wasn't even going to think on how Vin hadn't come around yet, even with him pressing down on the wound to staunch the still-trickling blood, just knew he had to get him aware enough to get back onto his horse.
"Vin," he called and gently patted his cheek. "Vin?"
That got a moan, albeit soft, and he rubbed his hand across Vin's face, the stubble of whiskers there familiar to his touch and he brushed fingers lightly over them again, allowing a smile to surface. As shitty as Vin looked, as serious was his wound and this situation, he didn't wish himself to be anyplace else.
It felt like he was bleeding inside as well, the way a warm surge of caring and concern filled him as he looked to this man. Vin had to be okay.
"Vin." A faintly murmured response then, and Vin slowly rolled his head to one side. Definitely coming around.
"Wha--"
Not altogether there but enough on his way and he braced his hands underneath Vin's good side and pulled him upright. "Let's get you sitting." He laid him back against a rock, Vin half falling then shaking his head and seeming to right himself.
He squatted before him and uncorked the canteen, dropping his head with a sigh of relief when he saw the blue of Vin's eyes.
"Chris?" As hoarse and faint as he'd ever heard the man, but there. It was a start.
+ + + + + + +
Never mind his shoulder, it was his ass killing him. He rode as hard as he could to town, all the while hoping Nathan hadn't ridden out somewhere in the meantime and now as he finally dropped from the saddle with a barely suppressed groan and a newly acquired limp, he prayed like hell the man was where he should be.
Midday and the town busy, several people frowned his way as he stormed and elbowed and limped his way through them then up the street and toward the clinic.
Please be there, Nathan. Please be there.
Not there--
Dammit!
"Mr. Sanchez?"
A voice called from somewhere outside. Mrs. Potter.
"If you're looking for Nathan, Mr. Sanchez--Josiah--he's at my store."
Hallelujah! "Thank y', ma'am." He was already down the stairs and past her, half sensing her hurrying behind him as she followed, talking all the way.
"Had some supplies come in on this morning's stage and Nathan was kind enough to help me get them loaded in the store. He's probably still--are you okay? You're limping--"
Whatever else she was saying was lost as he wound through the maze of supplies stacked around the small shop. "Nathan!"
Noises in the rear of the place told him someone was there and he barreled that way, colliding into Nathan who emerged from the split in the curtain just as he was going through.
The growl erupting from his throat as pain exploded in his shoulder echoed off the walls of the small store and he opened watery eyes to find Nathan staring at him with hands on hips and lids half lowered in a look holding a shade more disgust than sympathy. "What the hell you gone and done to yourself now?"
He shook his head. "It ain't me--"
"Oh, I can tell it ain't you. I can tell it ain't you by the way you look all hunched over like that, hands gripped so hard you're 'bout to break skin from your fingernails. Yep, I can tell it ain't you or your shoulder, neither."
It hurt to stand fully upright but he did, flexing his arm and giving his shoulder a half rotation. He grimaced from the pain. "Yeah, it hurts some but--"
"But you're comin' back t' my place is what. I got some liniment got your name writ' all over it."
"Nathan--"
"C'mon now, Jo--"
"Nathan!" Louder than he'd intended to roar, but hell, he had to get Nathan's attention. "Ain't me that needs you. It's Vin."
Nathan stopped. "Vin? What about Vin?"
"Got shot."
The next few minutes were a flurry of activity as Nathan demanded all sorts of answers from him about Vin's wound, then Buck showed up and Mrs. Potter was collecting things Nathan was telling her he'd need. By the time Ezra wandered in from hearing the commotion and he'd repeated for the third time the basics of what all he knew about Vin, whatever it was Nathan needed to use to help Vin was amassed and he turned to find the man already on his way to the livery.
"Hold on there, Nathan, I'm coming, too."
The look Nathan sent him in return was heated. "No, you ain't. You're gonna go up t' my place an' get some liniment put on that shoulder like I done told you an' I'm goin' on out to Chris' place t' see to Vin. Buck's gonna find JD, borrow a wagon or buckboard and then load it up with hay and blankets and whatever else they find might make it easier on bringing Vin back here. Ezra's going with you, you fool, an' make sure you do like I say about that shoulder-- an' do I even want to know what it is wrong with your be-hind, way you're limpin' like that?"
It was amazing the way they'd all scurried along under Nathan's orders, everyone disappearing in a matter of seconds, even Mrs. Potter who'd left her own store mumbling something about meat and broth and clean bandages, thus leaving him standing in the street with only Ezra by his side.
He gave his shoulder a turn thinking a little liniment wouldn't hurt and then he'd ride out to Chris' place. "I'm goin' to the clinic."
"Er, yes. Liniment for you, Nathan instructed me." Ezra muttered, following. "And that would be for your shoulder, I trust, and not your--"
"Just my shoulder, Ezra," he growled.
+ + + + + + +
Something was brushing at him, pulling him up to where he didn't want to go and it was annoying him no end. He tried to ignore it all, to sink back down and let go but the more he tried, the more it seemed to poke. Push. Prod.
Talk.
Relentless, insistent--
"Chris?" That was it, he was sure--or who, anyway. It was Chris and he waved a hand toward him and mumbled something he hoped said leave him alone because as much as he loved sharing his body with this man, all he really wanted at the moment was for Chris to go away so he could sleep.
Sleep forever.
Which had his eyes opening. No, not forever--
"Vin?"
He turned his head to the sound in his ear. Odd for him to be wanting Chris to shut up and for a brief second wondered if it wasn't JD there as well. Too bright light pierced his open eyes and sent a searing pain to his head and no way did he want to repeat that so closed them again, all of which was okay because if he sunk back to the blissful, quiet dark where he wanted to return anyway--
"Vin!"
More urgent this time, he could sense it and let one eye pry just that far open again.
"You gotta wake up for me, Vin."
"No, don't." Which he hoped pretty much said it all because having to elaborate on all the reasons why was too tiring to consider and besides, he hadn't a clue what any of those reasons were, just knew he didn't want to have to open his eyes and wake up or, for God's sake, move. Then everything seemed to settle down into a nice warm haze and he drifted along for a while, not really registering where he was or who with, not much caring--it felt so good just to float--
"Vin!"
"Wha-?" Floating again--and then warmth there, on his cheek and it took his mind a minute to realize it was coming from Chris' hands. He turned into the palm cupping his face--
"That's it, Vin, you wake up."
He nodded, Chris' soft words gliding around him, through him--
"Open your eyes, Vin."
They are--they were. "I'm here." Chris was shoving a canteen under his nose and he drank deeply, felt good going down his throat and then Chris took it away. A wash of cool water swept down his face --
"You with me now?"
He nodded and realized his eyes were open though the rest of him seemed half-asleep still. Chris sat in front of him, canteen in hand and enough worry showing on his face he was surprised. Worry for him?
"I'm alright, Chris. Just gimme a minute--" Though he had no idea what time it was or how long they'd been sitting there or where there was exactly. His shoulder was throbbing, not as horribly as it had been though enough so he tried to give himself a push to shift somewhere, anywhere it wouldn't hurt as god-awful bad as it was when Chris then wrapped arms around him and eased him up to his feet.
Standing made him dizzy so he closed his eyes and leaned into Chris. "Hold on, just gotta wait--" Just for a moment, he told himself as the world spun around him and he swallowed down the taste of bitter bile erupting into his throat.
"You okay, Vin?"
He nodded slightly because though the pain wasn't getting any better, it couldn't get much worse.
"You gotta rest a bit more, we can do that."
"Josiah?" He didn't see him though something about that made sense, he just couldn't remember quite--
"Rode on to get Nathan, you remember?"
Not exactly though he nodded he did anyway.
"Feels nice," he muttered, meaning the feeling of Chris' arms wrapped around him and even though his shoulder was pulsing with sharp, needle-like twinges, standing with Chris this way was just about close to heaven.
"Feel better we get you to my place," Chris answered and then was guiding him toward the horses and saying something that he couldn't quite decipher though he tried his best to follow along.
"Ride," he whispered, "yeah. I can ride."
He thought he was making it okay even when he stumbled and had to bite his lip from the spike being driven into his shoulder, but as he let Chris give him a boost up to the saddle and pulled himself up some as well, he felt himself swaying, shifting, then the sky was spinning crazily around and his shoulder exploded into a million white-hot fragments and it was all he could do to catch a breath and then he really was falling--
"Hold on, Vin," Chris was yelling in his ear and he did hold on, thought he was holding on to something, one hand grabbing at air--
Then grunting as the world surged beneath him and he was flying somehow, breath escaping through gritted teeth as each pound of the horse's hooves sent a jolt of agony throughout his body.
Arms were braced around him, holding him from behind, Chris at his back, he realized, supporting him as they rode hard.
All he could think of was to hold on. Hold on, hold on.
+ + + + + + +
As fast as he thought they'd be going, as fast as they were going, it wasn't fast enough.
Vin was in pain, drifting in and out, faint groans and low, breathy rumbles he could almost feel more than hear interspersed with too long moments of complete and dreaded silence. Utter quiet except for the steady beat of both horses' hooves as they navigated the ground and he found the stillness in Vin so unsettling, as though somehow he might slip away without another move or sound and there nothing he could do to prevent it.
He couldn't feel anything, not Vin's breathing against his chest, not a twitch of muscle or shift of limb, not a thing to assure he was alive--
Not that he thought he wouldn't be--no gunshot to the shoulder would kill Vin--but the clench of his own jaw was more than telling in what he didn't want to consider during those lifeless moments and by the time they got to the damned cabin, he was sure he'd have a mouth full of ground down dust to show his worry. Gut-wrenching worry.
"Hold on, Vin. Almost there." He pressed lips to Vin's ear though the way he'd been slumped back against him the last few minutes, was pretty sure Vin wasn't hearing him.
"Doin' alright," Vin's voice rose in a whisper and he shifted his hold on him, the unexpected response a blessing in that Vin was still conscious, though he could barely hear his words.
"You're doing fine," he stated in return then wrapped the one arm circling around Vin that much tighter, as if he could hold on to him forever.
"Y' ain't got--" A pause then, Vin gathering breath from the sound of it, and the hand settled atop his own that held Vin tightened some- -from pain or to convey reassurance, he wasn't sure. "Y' ain't gotta slow us down on my account, Chris. Figure it can't hurt no more that it does now, we get on with it."
He had doubts about that, but urged the horse onward at a faster clip anyway. "Just sit tight."
"Ain't hardly goin' nowheres."
They weren't racing by any means though were moving along faster than before--so much for speeding like the hounds of Hell were on their heels, though. The increased jostling seemed to prompt more frequent gasps and groans from Vin until one particularly jolting stretch had Vin crying out and then there was no way he could keep going.
He reined in the horse, Vin holding himself rigid and breathing hard through his nose and mouth as though he'd just run the last length they'd passed and he sat there behind him, gut tightening as he listened to him pant and not at all sure what to do to help.
"Vin?"
The hand covering his abruptly squeezed and so he waited, something set deeply inside him twisting those long seconds before Vin's shoulders relaxed a bit and was then nodding.
"Okay. It's okay. I'm okay, I'm okay." Those words a whisper, repeating over and over as though saying them would make it so.
Forehead dropping lightly against Vin's back, he leaned there for a long bit and listened to Vin's breathing slow to a more controlled pace, his own following along. His heart was beating so rapidly he felt suddenly lightheaded and it hit him hard how much it was he now expected this man to always be by his side. Needed that to be. Didn't want anything to happen to him.
They pushed at him again, those words held close in his heart and he almost said them aloud right then--quiet as it was and just the two of them there, as close physically as they'd been other than during sex.
Difficult, though, saying words he'd not offered to anyone but his wife and surely not having felt them since her, either, and maybe this wasn't the time with Vin only half-conscious and in such pain. He wasn't at all sure he would ever find a right time. Wasn't sure Vin wanted to hear. Wasn't sure he wanted to let them be heard.
He felt the shudder as it ran down Vin's back.
"You want to take a break? Rest?"
"Doin' okay, Chris. Wanna just go."
He did, too. Want to go. Wanted to get on to the cabin. Wanted a drink. Wanted to shoot the sonofabitch all over again that shot Vin. Wanted it to be tomorrow and all of this over and done.
Let Josiah have found Nathan and let Nathan already be on his way.
They moved onward, slower, Vin pressed back against him and the warmth of him like a rising fire. It was damned hot out, both of them drenched with sweat but he suspected the heat emanating from Vin to be more induced from fever than midday sun.
"Ain't much farther," he offered as much for his own sanity as encouragement to Vin.
Vin nodded against him, though remained quiet. Exhausted, he knew, and swaying at times, leaning to one side or the other and he'd have to pull him back upright, but at least was conscious. For now.
The weight of Vin's hand dropped to his thigh, his voice slipping back to him, pain apparent in each drawn out word.
"Would'a been nice we was headed t' your place for somethin' bit more fun."
A split-second of surprise at hearing Vin's unexpected comment and then he grinned, shaking his head as the hand on his thigh squeezed and yeah, it would have been nice. "And here I was feelin' bad over how bad you must be feelin'."
"Feel bad we'll get there at prob'ly the same time as J'siah an' Nathan."
"Don't care much for an audience?"
"You know I get kinda nervous in front of a crowd." Vin laughed, then moaned. "Hell."
"Sure you don't need to stop?'"
"Hell, no." Vin shifted some and drew in another deep breath then fell again to silence. The weight of him seemed to increase and he assumed he'd drifted asleep or unconscious again until he shifted and sat up straighter.
"Y' like what we get up to just the two of us, don'tcha, Chris?"
Vin sounded drowsy, his words taking on a mottled edge, slurred. He knew if he put his hand against Vin's skin there would show a rise in fever heat and on hearing the question, figured it to be the fever talking. Wasn't at all sure whether to laugh with or be wary of Vin's words. They'd never discussed what they did in private--they just did it. "Yeah."
"'S nice." Vin was nodding again. "I like it."
"Yeah?" he asked, though knew Vin enjoyed their encounters as much as he--just not how much. The sex was as great as he figured it could be between two men, but any emotion attached to their being together just wasn't something they talked about. Wasn't something he'd thought about initially and wasn't at all sure it was anything Vin even gave consideration.
What they did in the private of the dark had never been discussed, so the fact Vin was bringing up their being together now when he wasn't thinking clearly had him wondering. "Someone say somethin' to you? About us?"
Vin was shaking his head, words tumbling together and the hand on his thigh squeezed a little more. "Nah--don't no one know. Don't no one got to--"
"Well I sure wasn't thinkin' on puttin' an advert about it in Mary's paper."
That pulled a breathy laugh out of Vin and he enjoyed the sound, grinning himself until Vin suddenly choked on a breath and sort of collapsed back onto him.
He wrapped his hand firmly around Vin's waist, determined to get him to his place. Words and thoughts on anything else could wait.
Vin seemed less than
ware as they finally rode in, had made no noise at all the last few minutes nor moved save to hold his body just that much tighter and he wished again for Nathan to hurry.
Slipping off the back of the horse, he quickly made his way around to help Vin dismount, catching him, instead, as he began a slow topple from the saddle. Unsteady on his feet and he braced him against the animal for a moment, grabbing around his waist and then easing Vin's good arm over his shoulder as he pressed him forward. The horses he'd deal with later--for now, Vin needed him.
"Easy," he instructed, Vin giving a nod or so it seemed as they slowly paced to his place. Not altogether out of it, but not altogether there, either. "You're alright," he told him.
"Dizzy."
"Ain't going to throw up on me again, are you?"
Vin groaned, from either embarrassment or pain, he couldn't tell, and at this point it didn't much matter.
"Your cabin?" Vin asked softly as they stumbled forward, words vague and uncertain and it bothered him Vin sounded like he wasn't too sure where it was they were.
"We're there." Through the door, their limbs tangled and awkward and moving these last few feet harder than the whole damned ride, he eased Vin down onto the small bed, not missing the low grunt Vin let slip and suppressing his own as the weight of Vin left him.
His own arms ached like hell and it was a long minute he stood over Vin, stretching out the kinks and just watching him. Vin was awake-- sort of. Eyes dull and only marginally open, though he did seem to be looking right at him. "It'll be over soon, Vin," he said softly, one hand reaching to cup Vin's cheek then lingering there because a part of him didn't want to let go. "Be right back," he muttered and turned to quickly get the horses settled.
Still hot out, though the sun would soon be on the wane, and after finishing with the animals, he dipped up a couple of buckets of water from the well. Nathan would want some on the boil, he planned to use some to clean the blood from Vin and hell, was sure he could drink down an entire bucket or two all by himself.
Vin still lay on the bed in pretty much the same position. His eyes were slightly more open, though, and he seemed to be watching him through the shadows of the cabin. "Hey."
"Hey, back." Glad to get a response, he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, hand reaching to press against Vin's forehead. He looked like hell. "How you doin'?"
A laugh of sorts, breathy and no power behind it and it had Vin wincing, but he was grinning. "This? Just a little scratch, Chris. Ain't nothin'."
He laughed as well, if more from relief that Vin was conscious and coherent and joking than from any real humor in the situation, then reached and eased away the now dirty and blood stained bandanna.
Underneath, if anything, the wound looked worse. How long could a man carry a bullet around in him before it made him sick?
Sicker, he amended as he watched Vin draw in a sharp breath and move his good arm to drape over his eyes.
"'M gonna try and clean this up a bit."
Vin nodded.
"You want some whiskey first?" because he sure as hell could use some.
Another nod from Vin and he moved to the small stash of liquor kept in the room's only cupboard. One long drink for himself, he then filled a cup half full and moved back to Vin's side.
"Here, Vin. Drink."
Vin didn't make an attempt so he slipped a hand underneath his neck. Definite warmth there, more than before--fever heat and Vin seemed suddenly so much weaker now he was on his back. "Vin?"
He shifted, eyes peeling open and looking groggy, like he'd been asleep for hours. It wasn't hard to reach out and brush back the damp hair sticking to his face. Wasn't hard to touch him. "You're gonna be fine."
The whiskey went down easy, Vin's hand covering his that held the cup, shaking some as it tipped the cup higher and it was drained dry.
"Lemme get you some water." Because whiskey alone wasn't what Vin needed.
The cupful of water disappeared just as easily, Vin then sagging back onto the pillow with a drawn out groan.
He didn't know what to do for him. Couldn't take out the bullet and wished, again, Nathan would hurry the hell on.
"Nathan'll be comin' out any time, Vin. You just hold on a bit longer."
"Feel like I been stomped on by a whole herd a' cattle."
"I'll bet."
"Even my teeth hurt."
The water was heated just enough and he filled a small bowl. One pass around the wound with the water soaked cloth and Vin's eyes shot open, his hand darting out and wrapping his wrist.
"Sorry," he said, dropping the rag back in the bowl. "Too hot?"
Vin's eyes were closing again, his head slowly rolling on the pillow. "No, just--s'prised me is all."
"Sorry." He wasn't good at this and reached for the whiskey bottle, downing a few thick gulps. Vin's breathing was shallow, sweat trickled long lines down his flesh and his arm was bent over his eyes again. Probably would rather be left alone--he would were he in Vin's place. But he couldn't leave him be.
"Gotta be done, Vin," he said softly. "I know it hurts." He glanced down at him, surprised to find the part of Vin's face he could see looked to be smiling. Chuckling, almost.
"I miss something funny?"
The arm raised an inch and he saw a spark of light flicker within Vin's eyes. "Never thought there'd be a day I was afraid you'd touch me."
He smiled back at him. No, never would be a day. "'Least I ain't the one who'll be digging around in there, be thankful about that. Do need to get it cleaned up some, though. You wanna try this again?"
Vin nodded and he started in, blood and dirt washing away to show the skin underneath to be reddened and inflamed. Like he already knew it to be.
By the time he finished, Vin seemed shades paler than before and he wished again there was something more he could do.
"Gonna take your boots off."
Vin grunted, but didn't object.
"You want your pants off, too?"
Again Vin peered up at him. "Pants--depends what all you have in mind."
"Just tryin' to make you feel better."
Vin blew out a long breath. "Got a few ideas could help."
He was surprised for a minute at the underlying lascivious tone, then grinned. "You do remember you have a bullet in you?"
Vin shifted. "Yeah, remember a little somethin' about that--"
With the feel of Vin's eyes following his every move, he pulled the pants from Vin and shook his head. Even without saying the words he held inside, even not knowing exactly Vin's thoughts on their pairing up like they'd done these past few weeks, there would always be a degree of lustful want between them.
In the dim light, he could see Vin shivering. He tossed the pants on a chair and drew up the thick blanket, frowning with renewed worry as Vin clutched at it, bunching it in his fist and clearly riding out some measure of pain.
It was agonizing to witness, worse to hear, almost, as the sound of Vin's ragged breaths and whispered hisses filled the small space in his cabin and he inched closer to him to wrap his own hand around Vin's clenched one. Holding on. It was all he knew to do to help. "Easy, Vin. Not much longer."
"Just hurts, Chris. Hurts damn bad."
He was on the verge, then, of letting those words tumble right out and into Vin's lap and he didn't know why he didn't just go ahead and say them except they seemed rusted inside his throat from too many years of neglect and disuse.
He knew he cared for Vin. A part of him thought he might even love him, but he had no idea how to say that--or if he even should. Hell, having someone draw down on him was easier than this. Pissed him off he was feeling like some young kid with his first crush.
"Vin, I--"
The sound of an approaching horse had them both looking to the door.
"Nathan," he said, relief flooding through him at the same time realization hit that their maybe few last seconds of privacy were about to quickly go away.
A hot hand grabbed his arm. "Wait, Chris--"
Vin sensed it too, then, this last chance to be together before everyone came in to bustle around and do whatever needed to be done.
For a long, drawn out second, they both looked at one another. Nothing they hadn't done before--wordless communication where they were both thinking the same thought--only this time, what he read in Vin's eyes was a definite mix of pain and fever--plus a sliver of something else.
"Ain't never be afraid to have you touch me, Chris--just want you to know that."
Outside, Nathan's voice called to them. "Hello, the house."
He stood there next to the bed with Vin's hand still holding onto him and knowing Nathan and the others would be through the door any minute. He half wished he'd said at least some of those words.
Vin's voice floated up to him. "Chris?"
He bent to him and pressed lips to Vin's--heat there, and not solely from the fever burning within Vin. He let his mouth play over Vin's mouth, knowing this would be their last chance for a while to be together this way. His mouth lingered, as did his hand against Vin's face and some part of his insides seemed to fall empty when he finally pulled away to greet the others outside.
Nathan was standing there, collecting things out of his saddlebags. "How's he doin'?"
"Holdin' on. Just you here?"
"Others'll be along soon. I got Buck and JD bringin' a wagon."
He nodded, knowing most if not all of the other seven would show up. Nathan handed him a few things to take into the house and he looked up to find the man's eyes on him. Studying him.
"How are you doin'?"
"Me? Fine--not the one got hurt."
"Uh-huh."
Agreeing with him yet it seemed there was maybe something more Nathan was going to say, but he ended up just giving him a long, slow perusal before nodding to the things in his hand.
"Bring them in an' let's go see to Vin."
He followed after. It was sure to be a long night.
+ + + + + + +
What the hell was happening?
Abruptly yanked from blissful nothingness, his shoulder was a sudden explosion charged with searing fire. He couldn't breathe--was burning--
"God," he choked, sick to his stomach and dizzy and feeling worse than he could ever remember. His stomach lurched, and he tasted whiskey which just made him feel that much more nauseous--
There were spots before his eyes, dancing bright lights that wouldn't go away, and he tried to move his arm to block the light-- excrutiating pain then, and pressure from something that weighed a hell of a lot more than he did and he couldn't shift out from under it. Couldn't move at all--panicked--
He was going to be sick.
Voices--he thought he could hear voices, but whatever they were saying couldn't break through the rushing wind filling his ears.
Oh, God! Something sharp and searing tore through the flesh of his shoulder and sank right down to the bone. His stomach lurched again and tears streamed from his eyes; he was crying.
Then he was moved, shifted when all he wanted was to stay still--as still as possible because moving even the slightest bit would kill him for sure--
"Vin--"
His name--someone was calling to him but he couldn't answer-- couldn't find his voice--
"Vin!"
He was going to explode--too hot, too much pain filling him up and he didn't want to scream--wasn't going to scream--
Was screaming--
Until his head exploded.
+ + + + + + +
"Nathan?"
Nathan was wiping his hands and seeming much too calm in the wake of doing what he'd just done to Vin. Everything was cleaned away, Vin out like a light--no surprise there--and it was all he could do to just sit there and watch Nathan wash the blood from his hands, wait for him to give his attention.
An eternity later, Nathan finally turned. "We just watch for infection now, Chris--that bullet was in there an awful long time."
"And?" He dismissed the fleeting stab of guilt; it was the right thing they'd waited to bring Vin to Nathan--he and Josiah could never have done what Nathan had done.
He and Nathan both turned to Vin lying there so still, and he erased the rising thought that Vin already looked too much like a dead man.
"And--we wait for him to wake up."
He frowned at that and flexed his fingers, the ache there a discomfort more in its reminder than true pain.
"You did what was best, Chris. Don't be feeling bad about that."
The sight of Vin remained with him--the sound of that nearly silent scream with Vin's eyes gone wild and his face white as a sheet when Nathan went in after the bullet. Lord knew he'd never forget the sound of his fist striking Vin's chin. In that moment of Vin arching up against horrendous agony, it was all he could think to do.
Nathan began to put away the things he'd brought, and whatever it was he had steaming in the small pot on the stove filled the cabin with the stench of decaying weeds. It was half making him sick. "Tell me he don't have to drink that."
A long look in return and he got the feeling Nathan was laughing at him behind his even expression. "It's for his shoulder; a poultice to draw out any poison--so, no, Chris. He don't have to drink it."
"Thank God."
"Want him to drink this, though." Nathan was holding up something more than just water in a cup and he resisted the urge to give it a sniff.
Nathan set the cup on the table and sent a questioning look. "Sure you don't mind him staying the night out here? Ridin' back tonight in that wagon'll pro'bly do him more harm than good--rather he stayed still and quiet where he is."
He shook his head. No, no problem having Vin stay here where he'd slept so many times before, not that Nathan knew that.
A hollow feeling took him as he stared at Vin and he was suddenly more than grateful there were only him and Nathan there. Buck and JD had brought the wagon, but after they'd removed the bullet, Nathan sent them back to town with the assurances that Vin would be fine.
Wish he could feel so assured when the man looked like he already had one foot half in the grave.
"Whatever you think's best, Nathan." Defer to him. After what he'd just witnessed--hell, been a part of as he and Buck manhandled then held Vin down supine while Nathan dug around for that bullet--he'd never question Nathan's skill. Didn't matter one whit the man wasn't a real doctor. Nathan knew what the hell he was doing, and if he thought Vin ought not to be moved then he wouldn't be moved.
"You wanna drink?" Nathan stood there, whiskey and two glasses already in hand and he had to check himself he didn't just rush over and down half the bottle. Hell, yes, he wanted a drink.
Nathan nodded toward Vin. "Ain't gonna wake up anytime soon, I don't think."
No, he thought, agreeing. Vin wouldn't awaken anytime soon. Sure not after the punch he'd delivered.
"Let me see your hand, Chris."
Red and slightly swollen and aching like he'd just put it through a wall. He hadn't realized just how hard he'd hit him.
"Nothin' broken," Nathan was saying and he flexed his fingers again. Maybe not broken, but he'd be reminded of that punch for days.
"It's okay," he added, eyes drifting to Vin tucked there in his bed looking almost as white as the bandages wrapping his shoulder. Definitely not okay.
"We gets lots of water in him when he wakes, that's the most important thing right now. That, and keeping him still, let that wound heal."
Which made him want to laugh in a way, because the way Vin looked, keeping still wasn't going to be a problem. He looked still as a corpse.
Dead body was right, he thought as the hours passed and Vin still slept on.
Ezra and Josiah showed up in the early evening, dinner from the restaurant packed into baskets, and he couldn't figure whether or not the sight and smell of food was making him feel ill or hungry--or maybe it was just the lingering stench of the poultice Nathan had placed on the wound.
Nathan saw to Josiah's shoulder--the bruise there dark and ugly, and when Nathan started chiding Josiah about something to do with his rear end, he decided he'd be better off not asking.
They'd stayed a while after supper, leaving as the last of the sunlight started to fade. Nathan followed Ezra outside but Josiah remained, hovering over Vin.
Vin, who still remained seemingly dead to the world.
"Nathan says he'll be okay," Josiah said softly.
He nodded, and a grin borne from anything but humor over the situation touched his lips. "Yeah, Nathan says."
Josiah just stood for a while looking down at Vin. Ezra was already mounted up outside, ready to head back to town, and he could see through the windows, Nathan handing up the empty basket from their dinner. "You alright, Josiah?"
"Me? Yeah. Fine."
He wasn't asking about the physical so much, though knew that shoulder of Josiah's had to be hurting. "Vin's tough," he added, thinking Josiah's expression mirrored the worry he was feeling inside as well.
That got a smile, though. "Don't I know it." Josiah looked to him then. "How 'bout you, Chris? You doin' okay?"
"Nathan asked me that, too," he mumbled and flexed his hand again. "Just think it was a good thing--whatever it was made me go lookin' for the two of you."
"Divine intervention, maybe?"
He wasn't sure he believed in that, but hell, why not? He gave a nod. "Could be."
Josiah stared at him a few long beats, enough he wondered what else was going on in the man's head and was about to ask if there was something more when he just turned, plopped that huge hat of his down on his head and made to leave--big ol' smile plastered to his face. "You keep close watch over Vin."
"I will."
"I know you will."
Something there in Josiah's tone and seemingly knowing grin had him pausing, but he knew none of the others had any idea of the depth, physical or otherwise, of his and Vin's partnership. They were careful; their secret would remain just between the two of them. Always.
Josiah left. He could hear him join Nathan and Ezra outside, Nathan reiterating whatever instructions he'd already given about Josiah's damaged shoulder and Josiah's deep voice repeating the words, "I know, Nathan. I know."
He turned back to Vin, quick realization dawning that there were a few private seconds to be had.
Vin looked awfully still; his features were pasty and drawn, his hair still damp from the sweating he'd done while Nathan removed the bullet. The dark red mark where his fist had met contact stood out against the pale of Vin's skin, and he traced a finger lightly over the area.
There was a cloth in a bowl next to the bed, and he swept it lightly over Vin's face and neck, holding it gently against the place he struck him. "You'll be okay," he whispered, hand stilling when Vin's eyelids fluttered.
He'd thought him coming around, waited and held a long breath as he watched Vin's eyes slowly move under their closed lids; he hadn't realized how tightly he'd clutched the wet cloth until water puddled onto his pants.
"Vin?"
The man's lips were moving, and he bent closer to listen, half- smiling when he thought he'd caught his own name in the quiet release of a softly breathed sigh. "Here, Vin. I'm here."
He held a long beat, poised motionless over Vin and holding his own breath in an almost desperate anticipation. Vin didn't stir, and he leaned in closer still, but there were no more sounds. He hovered over him, taking in the pale of his face, eyes slowly roving over the fine features. It wasn't much of a stretch to brush his own lips over Vin's.
"He awake?"
Heart in his throat, he jerked from the sound of Nathan's voice coming through the door. Shook his head no as he turned away from Nathan's eyes, a flash of heat rushing over his face. "Still asleep. I thought he was coming around but--"
"Sleep's what he needs the most. Better he stays out for a while."
No indication from Nathan that he'd seen anything he shouldn't have, although that didn't prove Nathan hadn't, but he moved away from Vin anyway. Besides, he'd finished the one drink and was feeling in sore need of another.
"You should get some rest."
"Not that tired," he answered as he watched Nathan roll out both their bedrolls onto the floor. It was a lie he'd told, there an increasing level of exhaustion underlying the tension he still felt coiled inside his chest, but he knew sleep would be near impossible to find.
"He made it this far with that bullet in him, chances are he's gonna be okay, Chris."
Nathan sounded confident, and he hadn't yet known the man to state anything but the truth, whether good or bad news. "You did real good, Nathan."
"We just watch for fever, signs of infection, an' keep puttin' them poultices on that wound, he'll most like be just fine."
"Can't believe the smell of that shit hasn't got him waking up," he said with a chuckle and more than half serious, but it felt good to laugh over something.
"Stuff just don't bother me--guess I've got used to it over the years." Nathan was lowering himself down to his bedroll, his long form slowly stretching out. "If I thought Josiah would'a stood for it, I'd 'a made one up for him an' slapped it on that shoulder 'a his, too."
"He hurtin' that bad?"
"Oh," Nathan began, shifting around, "he's okay now. Be sore as hell later after ridin' out here an' back, though--his shoulder. And his ass."
Chris chose to ignore whatever that last part about Josiah's rear end meant.
Nathan didn't seem to want to elaborate as he continued. "He just ain't listenin' to me, is all. Josiah, I mean--not that it's a big surprise. I told him near' a half-dozen times to put some a' that liniment on his shoulder an' stay put in town. Came on out here, anyways."
"You can only tell someone what you want, Nathan. Can't make 'em."
Nathan chuckled. "Yeah. Don't I know that. Sayin' words an' havin' someone hear them an' take 'em to heart are two different things, ain't they?" He reclined flat. "People hear, but they don't always listen. Or believe--that's for damn sure."
Blanket pulled up, Nathan rolled to his side. "Gonna get some sleep now, Chris. I'd tell you to do the same, but I'm bettin' though you're hearin' me, you ain't gonna listen. So you wake me if Vin shows signs of anything. Anything at all."
He nodded and pulled a chair to the side of his small bed. It took no time for Nathan's soft snores to fill the quiet, and he inched closer to Vin's side.
Vin was still unconscious, hadn't moved so much as a finger, and he leaned close enough to him to feel each faint release of breath waft lightly over his own cheek. His fingers traced a path across Vin's lips and, after a quick glance back to Nathan, he then pressed his own to them, pulling back just enough to watch Vin's face.
"I'm here, Vin," he whispered again, knowing Vin couldn't hear him, knowing it wouldn't matter if he said any more than that with Vin so unaware. Those feelings were there, though--bubbling up from somewhere inside he'd thought long past dried up, and they filled him with a longing to say to Vin words maybe not quite so rusted as he'd thought.
What had Nathan said? Saying words and having someone listen and take them to heart rather than just hear them were two different things.
He slid his hand underneath Vin's, thumb lightly brushing over its back before capturing it gently within his own.
There were words to be said aloud, and there would come the time to say them--he knew that now. He'd figure a way to say them out loud. And he would make sure Vin more than just heard him.
+ + + + + + +
The stretch of days since he'd been shot had to be the longest pass of time he could remember enduring. Every hour seemed a struggle with exhaustion; the littlest things left him overtired. It took twice as long to do even the simplest of tasks.
Hell. There for a while, just sitting upright would send him into a twenty minute long panting heap.
He'd been told of what happened after Chris managed to get him to his cabin. Was told Nathan had stayed out at Chris's place with him those first few days--told he'd awakened several times, but he had no memory. He'd been told too, that Chris had been by his side all those that time. Had sat with him those nights when fever had overtaken him and he hadn't known who he was or where.
He couldn't remember any of it.
What passed after that was something of a blur in his mind as well. He knew there had been people around, the six of them, and Nettie, too, he was pretty sure. Other voices as well, though he wasn't exactly sure whom--just knew there'd been the presence of others. Sitting with him. Caring for him. Talking to him, and he had vague recollection of bits of conversations, though mostly they were just a muddle of words swimming around in his head. He didn't remember much of any of it save the pain. Horrendous pain. That, he remembered.
Now, he slowly rotated his shoulder, wincing slightly at the pull of unused muscles, but grateful there was no real pain left behind. An ache that reminded him he wasn't yet one hundred percent, and his body felt stiff, but no gasp inducing pain anymore.
He was better--still tired, but definitely better.
It was warm in his room as the mid-morning sun streamed its way inside, and he'd awakened in a puddle of his own sweat. Be nice come the time he didn't sleep away half the damned day, but just joining JD and Nathan for breakfast that morning sent him to napping several hours afterward.
He still tired easily, an irritating side effect that was lingering for far too long, by his own estimation. Nathan, however, had told him as he'd helped him to his room--and it was about all he could do to get the man back out the door before he all but tried to tuck him into bed--that rest was what his body craved, and to just give in when sleepiness overtook him.
Not that he had much choice in that; it was either take a nap or nod off in the middle of breakfast. Even now, after having slept for what was quite longer than just an hour or so, he'd awakened still tired. He couldn't remember ever feeling so weak for so long.
His shoulder felt better, though. Reaching for his boots sent a small twinge shooting down his bad arm, but in moments it was gone. That had him smiling--that and the fact he had no babysitters tagging along after him every second of the day anymore.
Nathan had woken him, been by to check on him and then finally decreed him well enough to be on his own for the most part. No fever left, hardly any pain to bother mentioning, and the wound itself was healing up nicely. It was a relief.
All in all, he decided, it felt good to be alive.
A knock at the door had him raising his head. "Yeah?"
"Me, Vin."
Chris and no, he amended, watching the man slip into his room. It felt great to be alive.
"How you doin'?"
He offered up a smile. Chris had been a constant at his side during all this. He aimed to keep it that way. "I'm okay."
Chris was leaning against the doorjamb. Looked like he'd been out riding, his clothes awash with a fine layer of dust and dirt and he had the smell of the outdoors on him. He breathed him in.
"You hungry?"
He licked his lips. There were flashes of memories from when he was so sick--hands touching him, stroking him softly and words whispering in his ear, even if their meaning was lost in a haze of pain and fever. He knew it had been Chris.
After that, when the fever had broken and he was weak as a kitten but lucid enough, there were few moments he and Chris could find together. Nathan kept a close eye on him, worried the fever would return, or the wound would turn, or who knew what else. All he knew was there had been almost no time to be had alone with Chris--never mind he hadn't the energy then much to care.
Now however , , ,
"Yeah, hungry," he answered, licking his lips again because they suddenly seemed overly dry. "Some."
Chris stepped inside and slipped off his coat before easing himself against the closed door--regarding him like he'd found exactly what it was he might want for lunch.
He wasn't complaining.
"How's--" A nod from Chris towards his shoulder. The scar stood out fresh against the pale of his skin. He didn't bother to cover it by buttoning up his shirt.
"Doin' good." He stood, one boot all the way on and the other dropping from his hand because he had a feeling that stemmed more from the look in Chris's eyes than just his own want that it would not be needed for a good while. He had a feeling--hoped--they wouldn't be leaving his room anytime soon. "I'm doin' real good now, Chris. Real good."
"You look tired."
He wanted to protest, but the yawn that took him as he opened his mouth had Chris grinning and he shook his head instead. "Yeah," he admitted then sighed. "Tired a' bein' tired."
Chris moved toward him, and he closed his eyes when the man's hands slipped around him, fingers lightly traveling the path of his scar.
They kissed gently, short feathery touches that only fueled the desire building within him. His lips ached for more.
"Nathan?" Chris asked, glancing around as though expecting the man to be hiding somewhere in a corner.
"Already been by. Gimme an okay to get on back to life. Says I'm healin' up just fine."
"You're sure?"
He'd hardly had time to nod before Chris swung them both around toward the small bed, pulling him gently down to land atop him.
The kiss this time was long and deep and slow, exactly what he'd been craving for far too long. Hands followed, their sure fingers finding their way inside his loosened shirt.
"I missed this," he said, shivering from that touch. "Missed you." He pulled back to see Chris's face, half afraid he'd just said too much out loud, and then marveled at the want he could read in Chris's eyes.
Chris ran a light touch over his hair. "I was pretty worried you were--"
"I'm fine. Told you that."
Chris pulled him down for another kiss, and he shifted a bit to rest his head against Chris's chest. Even fully clothed, having these few seconds just the two of them together was a little piece of heaven.
They stayed that way for a while, only the sound of their breathing and the noises from the town outside breezing a path through the room. Vin felt himself drift a bit, still feeling tired, but he had no desire to get up and move.
"Hey," Chris said softly, gently rocking him with a slight nudge, "you asleep?"
"Don't think so," he answered, half raising his head to find Chris looking at him. "'Less I'm dreamin'."
"No dream," Chris assured as he settled back down.
Fingers carded through his hair and traced paths over his back, and he closed his eyes, finding himself content and suddenly sleepy again. Maybe not yet quite all healed.
"Town's been quiet past couple 'a weeks. Think maybe we ought'a rename it Peace."
He smiled at Chris's words.
"Vin?"
"Yeah?" he mumbled against Chris' chest.
"I just--I want to tell you--"
Something about Chris stumbling over words had him smiling, and he shook his head. "You don't gotta say nothin' to me, Chris."
"I do, though. I--"
"Hey." He reached out a hand and trailed a light path down Chris's face. "You an' Josiah did good. I ought'a be the one offerin' you words. Weren't for you showin' up like you done, I wouldn't be here, lying 'cross you this way."
"Vin--"
"No, listen, Chris. There ain't nothing needs sayin' 'tween us-- except maybe me givin' you my thanks."
"Yeah, but I wanted to--"
"Reckon there's time for words." His fingers trailed slowly over Chris' lips. "An' reckon there's time for other things don't involve no words at all."
Chris's eyes held his. "You sure you're up to that?"
Which made him laugh. He rolled a bit, lightly shifting his hips over Chris's groin to prove how up he was. "You really gotta ask?"
"It's broad daylight."
"Yeah, it is. An' chances are if we do this, Nathan's likely gonna show up in the middle of it. An' I ain't all that certain I won't just nod off on ya during the best of it. An' the bed's too small, the room's too hot, the walls are thin, we're in the middle of town-- oh, an it's Sunday, too."
Chris was sending him a level stare. "I was just pointing out--"
He shoved Chris's hand to his crotch and Chris grinned. "Well, if you're really sure--"
He rolled to his back, Chris's hand still pressed to his pants, and the thrill of having this man next to him, touching him, was enough to get his blood pumping. "I'm sure."
There was a pause then, Chris's fingers moving to trace along his face and looking at him. When Chris didn't move for a long moment, he sent him a questioning look. "What?"
"I'd never hurt you, Vin."
He chuckled. "You ain't gonna hurt me--told you. I'm good." Chris was looking so serious. "I'm okay, Chris. Really."
Chris's fingers moved to cup around his face, and it struck him the warmth he felt had nothing much to do with any lingering fever or the heat in his room.
"You're tired, I can see it."
"I'm fine." To prove it, he surged his hips upward.
Chris smiled. "Okay, fine. But we do this my way. Slow--we go slow."
A fine tremor ran straight through his groin and he smiled. "Got no problem with slow."
Chris moved to straddle him on the bed and then sat above him, looking down. "I tell you something, you think you can hold on and listen?"
"Already told you, Chris, you ain't gotta--"
"Vin--if you're talking, you ain't listening."
His body was craving something other than words, but he stilled as he took in the look in Chris's eyes. Somehow he knew this was more than Chris offering up words on how he'd got to him and Josiah in time. "Okay--I'm holdin' on. Reckon words comin' from a man don't say more 'n three a day ought be worth listenin' to."
"Three words," Chris softly repeated. "Yeah, that'd be right."
He let his grin fade, something about the way Chris was looking down at him, all serious and quiet, and his heart seemed to stop a moment before picking up speed enough to realize what those three words were. He smiled again and whispered, "I'll see your three, Chris, and call with my own three."
Chris smiled. "You are listening."
"Yeah," he agreed with a nod, "I hear ya."
+ + + + + + +
All in all, Josiah decided, it was one of the finest mornings he could remember in quite some time.
He finished getting his horse ready, glancing up to find Vin hurrying to him, clearly ready to go as well.
"Working on bein' a nice day, Josiah," he said.
"That it is, Vin, that it is." Vin seemed back to himself, he was happy to note. "You must be feeling good, Nathan finally giving you the okay to ride."
"Hell, yeah," Vin replied, "feels real good. Now let's get on."
He smiled, watching a few minutes while Vin shoved a few things into his saddlebags, then shot up into the saddle. He shook his head as he watched him. Boy was full of energy like he hadn't felt himself in too many years to bother counting.
It was early, the town just starting to come to life, and he glanced around, giving Nathan a nod where he stood on the balcony of his clinic.
"You're bein' watched," he said to Vin.
Vin turned to look, then offered a nod to Nathan as well, smiling as the man waved and went back inside.
"He's just lookin' out after you, Vin."
"I know." Vin shifted in the saddle. "I 'preciate all he's done for me. Man's got a gift."
"That he does," Josiah agreed, watching Vin and pleased he seemed to be suffering no lingering effects from the injury. He pulled himself up into the saddle, pausing for a minute. Vin was looking at him, seeming almost anxious.
"You in a hurry or something?" he asked.
Vin flashed him a bright smile. "Just lookin' forward to gettin' out from under, is all."
Josiah grinned back at the show of youthful exuberance as Vin raced out of town.
+ + + + + + +
Nathan sipped his coffee, half-regarding the man sitting to his right. "Saw Vin and Josiah headin' out."
Chris nodded. "Saw 'em, too."
"Vin's doin' good."
"Seems to be."
Nathan relaxed back in his chair. The heat of the past few weeks had finally broken, and a cool breeze could be felt as it slipped through town. "I didn't get a chance to say nothin' to him--think he's avoidin' me now," he added with a laugh, "but he looks to be gettin' around just fine." He glanced at Chris. "Seemed happy to get going."
Chris nodded again.
"You get a chance to talk to him any?"
Chris smiled. "Yeah, for a second this morning before he met up with Josiah, I managed to say three words to him."
"Huh. Three words." Nathan figured 'watch your back' was about the best advice Chris could've given Vin, though he would rather have had those three words be 'don't get hurt'. Not that Vin would ever listen to him. "Fast as he was lookin' to get outta town, surprised you got him to hold on long enough to even hear three words."
Chris smiled into his coffee. "Oh, he was listenin'."
End