Third story in the Colliding Feelings series.
1. CONFESSIONS FROM A LADIES MAN
Bone tired, more tired than he'd felt in a long time, Chris entered the saloon. After his wild gallop away from his property to outrun what had happened there between him and Vin, he'd calmed down and had gone on in a calm, slow pace, needing the time to think.It hadn't accomplished anything, his thoughts only went round in circles and came back again and again to the amazing responses Vin's hands had gotten out of his body. Or to the fact that those hands and kisses had made him feel so much like being with Sarah had done. He'd left Pony to the care of Yosemite the livery owner, too much in turmoil to look after his horse himself this time and had hurried towards the saloon.
God, he needed a drink!
Careful as always he made sure the saloon was safe before he moseyed over to the bar and got himself a bottle and a shot glass. He was on the verge of going to the table in the back he always occupied, when he reconsidered and looked at Buck, sitting a bit more to the front and nursing a bottle of his own.
Yep, Buck was just the person he needed, he decided. Buck was familiar; Buck was a part of life as he knew it, had been a part of it for the longest time. It would be good to sit with him and hear some of his nonsensical stories about women. Have him bring some normalcy back to his suddenly upside down world.
So he took the chair right beside his longtime friend and slammed the bottle and glass down before him. That's when he noticed the bottle before Buck was more than half empty. His eyebrow rose. Buck wasn't one to drink that much on his own. Now, in the right company, that was different. He smiled, remembering some of their exploits following too much whiskey.
"What you smiling 'bout?" Buck asked, his voice slightly slurred and filled with resentment. Chris looked at him quizzically and was shocked by the hostility in his friend's eyes. Did Buck take what had happened early in the afternoon that hard? Damn, it wasn't the first time they'd had a forceful argument.
Wasn't like Buck had never punched him a time or two.
"Something bothering you, Buck?"
"Whadda you care? Shouldn't you be with yer boy?"
"What?"
The words stung and filled him with anger. Why didn't Buck let this go? What was the big deal to him anyway?
"Yeah, have him p... push his hand up yer ass and you going all in ics... ics... ecstasy 'bout it."
Chris froze for a moment, looking at his long time friend, at the blue eyes fixed on him. Then a raging hot anger took over. He grabbed Buck by the throat and stood, pulling the long ladies man up with him. Without pause or giving a gurgling Buck the chance to recuperate, he dragged the man with him, out through the back door of the saloon past a surprised Inez, up the alley, past the outhouse and into the muddy fields just outside of Four Corners, until they came to a dark corner between two sagging barns. There he threw Buck against one of the barn walls with force, never relenting his grip on the man's neck.
He was so angry he couldn't speak for a moment. Even Buck's bulging eyes and labored breathing while the man tried to get air in his lungs and tried to pry his fingers loose didn't make the anger any less. Finally, when Buck's hands stopped clawing and he started to sag and get a desperate look in his eyes, he let go. He paced for a moment, up, down, up, down, trying to get himself under control before he did some really serious harm to the ladies man.
If this had been anyone else but Buck, he'd killed him. Goddamn spying bastard!
Finally he managed to rasp it out, "So, now you spy on me?"
"Spy on you?" Buck asked incredulously, his breath back to normal. "Spy on you? You and... and that... boy were right in front of yer shack when I came over to talk with you! You bein' half naked and him with his hands all over you! And in you as well! You two into giving free shows or something? Was that why you were so angry this morning, Chris? 'Cause he's already yer little loverboy?"
Chris pivoted and punched Buck. It was the last thing he needed, those hateful words when he was so shaken up about what had happened himself. Those nasty remarks were making what had felt so good and right it had him all up in knots into something dirty, nasty. He couldn't stand it, he couldn't stand the fact that of all people it was Buck doing this.
Even more he couldn't stand the fact that maybe Buck was right, it was dirty, it was unnatural. Yes, unnatural and something he had never wanted to do himself, never willingly anyway.
He closed his eyes for a moment and then turned and walked away, even more confused than he had been. Had it been good with Vin? Or was it as sickening as Buck made it sound? God, what was he going to do, Vin was the best friend he'd ever had and he didn't think he could stand losing that friendship. He'd been alone for three miserable years until he ended up in this little backwater town with six men he now called friends. The one friendship that really kept him here though had been Vins. That was the one that mattered the most to him, even more than finding Buck back.
He didn't know why that was, it just was and he'd never questioned it.
Until now. Now he was wondering where those feelings really came from, what they really meant. If maybe they had meant something else all this time.
When he was about to step from between the two barns, his thoughts tumbling through his mind, he heard Buck running up to him. Wearily he turned, sick to the stomach of it all and not wanting to hear more of Buck's hateful words, only to see the man's fist come at him. He ducked. It didn't keep Buck from running straight into him with such force that all the breath left his body. He went down hard, his head hitting something with an audible thud. Mud oozed around him and soaked his back and ass down to the skin.
For a moment he couldn't move, only try not to pass out. Then his hands were grabbed and held above his head in a death grip and Buck was on top of him, straddling him and pinning him down, his face only a few inches away, his blue eyes boring into his.
Chris stared back, letting all of his rage show and he saw Buck flinch. Immediately he tried to get his hands free, only to have the grip on them tighten even more. His head reeled, making him almost pass out in earnest. Making it impossible to really fight Buck.
Shit!
"Buck," he hissed, "don't make me wanna kill you! I'm damn close to it already!"
"Really?" Buck hissed back. "So am I, damn close to whooping yer ass, Larabee. God, I can't believe it! You never wanted anything to do with men, no matter how hard they came on to you! But now you let Vin have you just like that. Why?"
"Let go!" Chris yelled in answer. He hated being pinned down and all he was thinking about was his need to get away.
God, his head was spinning.
Then Buck's words penetrated the fog in his head, making him alert again to what was going on. "Is that all it takes Chris? A massage? Like Sarah used to give you? That all I have to do to end in your pants?"
He couldn't believe what he heard Buck say! "So, you were spying on Sarah and me as well? Damn you Buck, I never took you for a peeping Tom! Why? Why'd you do that? 'Cause you loved her? That why you kept hanging around us?"
"Loved her? Yeah, I loved her, a lot! You wanna know why? 'Cause she made you happy, stud. Real, real happy! I could kiss her for that every day!"
Chris stared at Buck, surprised. Buck stared back at him and then he leaned down and pressed his lips on Chris's.
The hot mouth almost seemed to engulf him, the mustache pricking against his skin. He tried to turn away, but Buck followed his head movement and kept kissing him, his tongue wanting entrance. Then the two hands holding his arms up became only one and Buck was groping at his waist, trying to get his shirt out of his pants.
NO!
Chris tried to get past the nauseating pain in his head and tried to twist away. It didn't stop Buck fumbling and then the big, warm hand was inside, grasping for his dick. Chris gasped when his cock was squeezed and it gave Buck the opening he needed. His tongue slipped into Chris's mouth while his hand went further down his pants, caressed his balls and glided between his ass cheeks, one finger surging for the opening there.
Chris choked and bucked in earnest now, fighting for all he was worth.
It made Buck stop the kiss and look up, look into his eyes, his hand still between Chris's ass cheeks, his finger at the entrance to Chris's opening, his arm squeezing against the blond's balls in the process. It made it hard for Chris to concentrate, to keep his panic at bay, but he did, staring hard at the tall peace keeper.
"You gonna do this?" he asked softly, coldly. "You gonna finish this and force me?"
"Chris, you let Vin. Why not me? Why didn't you ever let me?" There were tears in those deep blue eyes now. "Don't you know I love you? I've loved you since the first time I saw you, when... when...."
"When you saved me."
"Yeah. I never questioned you not wanting me that way. Hell, I could live with it. We were close and there were plenty of others for me to, well, for that part. And Sarah! I loved that lady, she was so good for you, she gave you such love and such peace. It's just, now you suddenly can be with a man? I don't get it, I don't get it at all."
The hands were gone, no longer pinning his arms down or groping at him. Chris shivered and suddenly Buck flushed, rolled off him and sat next to him in the wet dirt.
"Shit," he whispered, looking away. "Shit, I can't believe I just, that I just, damn Chris, why didn't you fight? Why'd you let me think I could have you and, you know, take you? God, I'm really sorry."
"Yeah, me too." Slowly Chris sat up, keeping a weary eye on the ladies man. His head throbbed and he put a hand up, feeling carefully at the place above his right ear that hurt the most. When he looked at it there was blood between the mud on his fingers.
That explained his headache. Maybe. He tried to get the blood off by rubbing his hand on his pants leg.
"You're hurt! Come on, let's get you to Nathan."
"No! Buck, why did you say that?"
"What, Chris?"
"That you love me? Why?"
"Because... Chris, look at me, look at me, please."
He did, wearily and what he saw in Bucks eyes made him swallow hard. He saw a profound love and devotion in them and he knew those feelings had always been there. He'd seen it as Buck's deep friendship for him, but now...."
"Chris, we've been through so much, have seen so much. All those years you've been the one for me and you never saw it. You just never saw. You would never have let me touch you with love and passion, but Vin, you let Vin! Why? I don't get it. I really don't."
He had to close his eyes, not wanting to see the pain in Buck. Al he could say was, "Me neither, Buck."
"Are you and Vin together now?"
How could he answer that? He'd come to town to think, to see what it was he wanted and try and sort it out. It had only gotten messier, a lot.
"Here, let me help you up."
"I got it!" he hissed, not wanting to be touched right now. He swayed a little when he stood, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the head wound or everything else. Carefully he tucked his shirt back in his pants and closed the buttons back up. He felt sick.
"Chris, don't be like this. Say something, talk to me!"
He just shook his head, not even looking at Buck and swayed again. Suddenly Buck was close, his warm body pressing and his strong arms all around him, holding him up. He found his head on a broad shoulder and a hand making circles on his back, smooth, soothing circles like he used to do with Adam when his son was upset or sick.
It filled him with anger and savagely he pulled away and shoved Buck hard.
"Stop it!" he hissed. "Stop treating me like, like, like some kid! Get JD if you wanna mother someone. I told you before I won't take it anymore!"
"Yeah, you did, you sure as hell did!" Buck agreed angrily. "You made your point painfully clear!"
"I guess so did you, right now."
The two glared at each other and then suddenly Buck was on him again, grabbing his head and pulling him into a long, passionate kiss. Just as fast he released Chris and looked at him with a smothering expression.
"No way you gonna make me believe that boy is a better kisser 'n me!"
There was only one reaction Chris had in him. He punched Buck, hard. Before Buck could fall he followed with another punch, seeing the blood on Bucks face with a cool feeling of satisfaction. Then he turned away and stalked off, towards the livery. He needed to get out of here, fast.
He needed to get away from it all and he was determined to never look back.
+ + + + + + +
Now what was going on in that stubborn blond head, Vin thought wearily. He had just entered Four Corner's main street when he saw Chris stalking out of the alley beside the saloon, radiating anger. With a mild feeling of surprise he saw the gunslinger go towards the livery in a straight line despite the fact that Chris couldn't have been here for more than an hour, if that.
Something sure had gotten Chris's dander up! Now what was he going to do about it? Go after Chris and try and see if he could help, or leave his friend alone for the moment to blow off steam?
Hell, how was he going to leave Chris alone when all he wanted to do was be with the man?
He was just about to follow Chris, when he saw another movement in the dark alley. A moment later Buck stumbled out, holding a hand to his face. Blood was dripping from between his fingers.
Damn, that must've been one powerful discussion! What had Chris gone and done this time? Concerned he guided Peso towards the ladies man.
"Buck? How you feelin'? Ya want some help getting' to Nathan?"
"I don't! I don't want any help from YOU!" Buck spat and Vin was taken back by the anger and... hate, was that hate he saw in Buck's eyes? Damn, they'd been arguing about him again.
"Look Buck...."
"Why don't I step in, Mister Tanner? Buck, here, let me help you."
Where had Ezra suddenly come from? And why was the gambler looking like that at him, like he was measuring him up or something? Vin didn't like it and he was just preparing himself to get to the bottom of it all, get some answers about the looks those two gave him, when the sound of a galloping horse distracted him.
Aw hell, it was Chris, in a hurry! The fool, it was getting dark and he rode off as if the devil was on his tale. He looked at his other two friends and saw them staring after Chris as well, one with sad eyes and the other one, was there hunger in those eyes?
He was going mad if he tried to figure these two out as well. He had enough problems with one ornery black clad gunslinger. Who was already disappearing in the distance.
Vin decided to go where his priorities were, with Chris. Ezra could take care of Buck.
It took him almost an hour to finally catch up with the gunslinger. Chris hadn't gone to his shack, but to Vin's dismay had taken the route to Purgatory. He hated it when Chris did that. The town might appeal to the darker side of Chris' nature, a side that made him blend right in, it didn't change the fact that there was always the possibility he wouldn't come back from that dangerous hell hole.
So Vin was damn glad when Chris stopped on a ridge overlooking the rolling green grass valleys below him. The light was fading around them and he and Pony looked an ominous black shadow from where Vin rode up. When he came abreast with them, the gunslinger didn't say a word, just kept staring, anxiety coming off him in waves.
"Chris?" he finally asked, not pushing, just letting his concern show.
No answer. Normally the silences between them were comforting, but this time it wasn't and suddenly Vin felt as if Chris was disappearing, drifting away from him despite sitting his horse like a statue beside him. It filled the sharpshooter with dread.
"Why don't we go to yer shack?" he asked softly. "It's getting dark, so we'd better get movin'."
That got a reaction. Chris looked at Vin with fire and something else in his eyes. Something close to despair, Vin thought. The gunslinger shook his head once, adamantly, and closed his eyes, a grimace on his face as if he was in pain.
"Chris, please, talk to me. What happened? What was it between you 'n Buck?"
For a moment it looked like Chris would balk and ride of, so Vin came even closer, until their legs touched. He leaned forward to the gunslinger and rasped softly, "Please, Chris, talk to me."
It was despair in those green eyes, yes, he'd seen it correctly. Despair and pain. Then Chris told him softly, "Buck's seen us."
"Shit!" Vin was pretty sure the ladies man hadn't liked it. "Guess that explains the split lip and bleedin' nose." And why Chris didn't want to go back to his shack at the moment.
When Chris didn't answer, Vin didn't know what to do for a moment.
Actually, he did, but it would probably take awhile before Chris would be prepared to do anything like that out in the open again. Damn, of all the things to have happened!
"What ya wanna do?" he asked after another bout of silence. Chris shrugged.
"Ain't going back," he said softly, determination in his voice. He reached for the reins and then he swayed in the saddle, only a quick grab for the saddle horn stopping him from toppling over.
"Chris?" Immediately Vin took his friend's arm in a firm grip, steadying him. "Chris, what's wrong? Damn, yer soaked through! Jesus, yer all muddy and wet! Wadda you and Buck do?"
Chris put up his right hand to the side of his face, the side Vin couldn't see. When he brought his hand back down, he stared at it, muttering, "Still bleeding." Then he closed his eyes and passed out.
"Chris!" Vin held on to his friend with all his might, at a loss for a moment how he could keep Chris from falling off his horse. Finally he wound Peso's reins around his arm, grabbed the cantle of Chris's saddle and pulled himself over. He almost let go of Chris, but he managed to hold on to the inert body while settling behind him. He did have to yank viciously at the reins a few times to get Peso to behave and then he was all set to go, with Chris resting against his chest.
His friend was shivering in his wet clothes and Vin frowned. A silent rage at Buck was seething inside him and he promised himself he was going to get some answers from the ladies man. Tying Peso's reins to Chris's saddle freed his hands, so he could get his jacket off and around the trembling body. With one arm protectively cradling his love he took Pony's reins.
He knew exactly where he wanted to go. There was a lovely place not far from here, a small valley dotted with flowers and with a small creek meandering through it, exactly what the blond needed to get some rest and some peace. And even better, it had a small cave, large enough to be comfortable for two people, but too small for the horses. That was alright, the little valley was perfect for them.
As fast as he dared with Chris's head hurting and in the rapidly darkening evening he guided both horses to the place where he hoped to be able to spend some time with Chris. Some time together, without disturbances from anyone.
2. CONFESSIONS FROM A GAMBLER
Ezra's mind was not on poker this evening. In fact, he had just declined another round despite the fact he had started winning again, like he should be. It was difficult though, too difficult to keep his attention on the game. Hot images were running around in his mind, images of Chris and Vin, of the normally so stoic gunslinger half naked in the arms of the tracker, head thrown back in passion.Oh God, there he went again! Hastily he crossed his legs, trying to hide the suddenly growing hardness in his loose pants. Focus on something else, anything else.
He focused on Buck, sitting morosely at a table with blood still on his face, alone after having yelled JD away. He knew where the ladies man's thoughts were and it wasn't with any lady, he was willing to bet on that.
It hadn't escaped his notice that before Buck Chris had stormed out of the alley beside the saloon, so it was no great task to put two and two together. And after the hateful glare Buck had given Vin, he knew exactly what the topic of dissent between the two friends had been.
He wanted to know more. He needed the diversion, because frankly, he couldn't get the image of Chris with Vin out of his head.
With his cock deflated enough not to be noticed, he decided to take a gamble and go to Buck. The ladies man clearly needed someone to talk to. Normally that wouldn't deter him from pursuing his livelihood, but the truth was, he needed someone to talk to as well or he feared he would go quietly mad. Maybe they could help each other out.
Buck didn't look friendly when he set down a bottle of the best whiskey the saloon could offer. "Go 'way," he slurred, voice and eyes full of hostility. Not the jovial, easy going Buck of normal days at all.
It didn't discourage Ezra in the least. Animosity was something he was well used to, even from this rag tag group he found himself being a part of these days. He simply sat down, opened the bottle and filled Buck's glass before he filled his own.
"Didn't you hear me? Go 'way!" Buck yelled.
"Oh, I did hear you, my friend. But since I have the feeling we might have a problem in common, I thought maybe talking about it could help. Even make us find a solution to it all?"
"Don't have a pr'blem, so leave me 'lone."
"Ah, but you do, you do! May I suggest that your problem is the same as mine at the moment?" Lowering his voice, he added, "One enigmatic, black clad and may I say gorgeous gunslinger?"
Buck had already opened his mouth to probably yell at him again, but this statement made him close his mouth without saying anything. He was staring at Ezra now, eyes slightly unfocused. He seemed still clear enough to follow the topic. At least, Ezra hoped he was. Calmly he took his glass and downed it in one, never letting his eyes stray away from the dumbfounded man before him.
He knew his use of the word gorgeous would have gotten through.
"Whadda ya mean?" Buck finally slurred, eyes narrowed.
Still keeping his voice low, God knew he didn't want to be overheard by anyone, Ezra continued, "I think you know what I mean. I think you are in love with said gunslinger. And from the way you two came storming out of that alley at the start of the evening and the look of – dare I say hate? – you leveled at our resident tracker, I take it you found out Mister Larabee seems to have chosen our tracker friend over you. Or me."
"Tracker friend! He ain't no friend of mine! Never t... trusted.... Eh, did you say 'or me'?" Suddenly Buck's eyes were a lot more focused and his stare had become decidedly penetrating. "What you talking 'bout?"
"I think you know what I am talking about. It is why I suggested earlier we might have a common problem in Mister Larabee."
"And why you called him gorgeous." Buck had lowered his voice now as well.
"Well, he is," Ezra said softly, suddenly being beyond flippant. Damn, he hadn't anticipated the sudden pain in his guts.
"You being here and telling me I've gotta compete with someone else who wants the man I love should help me, how?" Buck's voice suddenly wasn't slurred anymore and had a hard edge to it. Ezra looked up quizzically. The dangerous look in the ladies man's eyes made him shudder and he knew he had just trod on vary risky ground. Why had he never seen how dangerous this man could be, how deadly? Had he been taken in so easily by what seemed to be only a buffoon of a man, he, Ezra P. Standish, conman extraordinaire?
He swallowed, thinking hard about what he should say next. Buck beat him to it, though. "Damn it, Ez, you're even more full of shit than I figured. Why would I wanna talk 'bout Chris with you? You two are fighting at every turn. You're always rubbing his feathers the wrong way and now you want me to believe you love him? Nah, probably ain't love, you fancy him maybe. And you know he would never fancy you back, so now you come here and wanna see what you can accomplish through me."
Ezra flushed. A deep anger stirred up at Buck's hard and callous words. "Oh, I do admit I came here to see what I could accomplish through you, Buck, I will not deny that. But never make light of my feelings for Mister Larabee ever again! Why, I could say the same to you. Why would someone as astonishing as Mister Larabee want a clown like you, who can see no further than where he next can put his dick?"
"Why you...!" Buck rose up, his face red, his hands clamped into fists and Ezra knew the man was very close to giving him a beating.
Good, he could do with a fight, he didn't care with whom. It might finally make him feel better. So he decided to needle the man before him even more.
"No wonder he chose Mister Tanner over you as a...."
Oh my God, he suddenly realized the whole saloon had fallen silent to watch what was going on between them.
"...friend," he smoothly amended, staring belligerently in Buck's eyes and trying to convey what he had really wanted to say through his stare. It was clear that Buck got the message perfectly. His face became even redder and his eyes were flashing now.
"You, you...." He made a grab for Ezra, but the gambler saw it coming and easily shoved his chair away and jumped out of reach within a few seconds.
"Friends, friends, please, what are you two doing?"
Josiah was standing by their table, hands raised in a pleading gesture. "There must be a better way for you to overcome your differences! Let's talk about what is bothering you."
"Get lost, Josiah!" Buck yelled at the same time as Ezra hissed, "Do not interfere, Josiah!" He looked at Buck and moved his head to the back of the saloon.
"I propose we continue this discussion external."
"Why not? I've been taking it outside all day now!" Buck immediately stalked away.
"Friends, please!" Josiah made as if to follow and both men rounded on him. "This is between us!" Ezra stated clearly, coolly. "It is private and we would both appreciate it very much if you would give us the courtesy to let us cope with it amongst ourselves!"
"Yeah, what he says," Buck said menacingly.
"Oh, alright!" Josiah threw up his hands. "Go bash each other's skulls in if you have to. Enjoy yourselves. Don't mind me or any of your other friends!"
"Thank you," Ezra said stiffly, putting as much sarcasm in his own statement as he'd heard in Josiah's. Then he hurried after Buck, who was already leaving.
Once outside Buck kept moving until they were out of the perimeter of the town. He stopped, standing in the grass and staring up at the starlit sky above them. All the fight seemed to have left him.
"Buck?" Ezra asked, a little unsure about the changed attitude of the man. Buck sighed and looked at him, his eyes glittering in the dark. Then he turned away and gazed at two barns standing in the distance, a darker shadow against the night sky. "That's where Chris and I fought, where I...." He stopped and Ezra walked up to him, looking at the place.
"Between those barns? God, I don't think there's a muddier place around. No wonder you are so filthy from the knees down."
"Yep, and the seat of my pants ain't much better. It was Chris who ended up on his backside down in the mud, though. He was a bit distracted and I got the drop on him." He fell silent, an awkward silence, filled with something Ezra couldn't quite grasp. Sadness? Remorse? Shame maybe?
He didn't want to pry after it, so they stood for a while in silence. Then Buck asked, "Why did you say that, about Chris choosing Vin over me? It sounded as if you were sure, not speculating."
Ezra sighed. "I am sorry, Buck. The fact is I am sure of it. I... I observed something this afternoon while I was in the vicinity of Mister Larabee's shack."
"Observed something at his shack? You were there? Why?"
"I was there to spy off course. I have been spying on Mister Larabee from the start of this liaison between the seven of us. I find it irresistible to go and watch the man."
"Yeah, well, he is beautiful," Buck sighed.
Ezra glanced at him. "I will not deny that, Buck, it was the first thing I noticed. But that hardly is the reason I feel like I feel. I mean, if it is beauty alone I could easily be feeling this strong about you or, in all fairness, Mister Tanner." Buck growled at that, but Ezra didn't give in. "If you were to set your recent feelings of animosity aside and looked at him objectively, you would say the same. No, it is not merely Mister Larabee's beauty that has me feeling the way I do, it is the intense personage inside. I have never met a man like him, Buck and I dare say I never will again. His grief is apparent and so is his rage, but it does not stop him from doing what he feels is right, no matter the cost to himself, or see everything around him with such clarity it astonishes me. I have never before met someone equal to me in assessing situations before, except Mother off course. Do you remember the first meeting between Chris and me?" Ezra asked softly, thinking back on those first days in Four Corners and meeting the men that were now so important to him. He walked away to a fallen tree and gingerly sat down, making sure his coat tails wouldn't get caught and wrinkle up. Buck seemed to hesitate, but he did come over and sat down beside Ezra.
"Yeah, I remember, it was in the saloon. You made quite an impression pard, the way you were tricking all them cowboys to make a bet you couldn't lose."
"Yes, I was indeed working out a con," Ezra agreed, staring into the past. "Chris saw right through that con, right trough me as well. He told me, in that soft, almost hypnotizing voice of his," here Buck snorted in agreement, "exactly what I had done and then he asked me to come along with him. I would have said yes if it wasn't for the likes standing beside him, a negro, a long haired savage and, no offence Buck, a lanky no good cowboy. He really does not care about the appearances of people, does he?"
"You came a long way yerself, Ez," Buck said softly, compassionately. It made Ezra wonder if he hadn't sounded pathetic. He probably had.
"I am sorry, Mister Wilmington. I shouldn't bore you with these ramblings." Buck's hand was on his knee in a flash, stopping him from standing up.
"Y' ain't boring me, Ez," he said and Ezra could hear the earnesty in his voice. "It... it is good to hear someone else about him for a change. I've had these feelings inside me for so long. But I have to admit, I never saw it coming from you, you always seem to go out of your way to rile him."
"I do, don't I?" Ezra agreed, settling himself again. "I just have to, Buck. Lord knows that if he is his usually quiet self, not talking, I need to do something to hear his voice and riling him is by far the best way of doing that. The fire it kindles in him is, well, let's just say I love seeing his eyes flash."
Buck laughed out loud now. "They sure can blaze, can't they?"
Ezra nodded, even though Buck probably wouldn't see it in the darkness. "Yes, they can. He is... something else, isn't he?"
"Always has been."
"How long have you been in love with him?" the gambler asked, suddenly curious. He tried to get a glimpse of Buck's expression, but it was hard in the dark.
"Since the first time I saw him," Buck confessed, looking at Ezra. That didn't mean Ezra now could see what Buck was really thinking or feeling and he wished there was more light around. "Guess kind a like you. He was so full of energy, the good kind, ya know. Always trying to do the right thing back then as well. It's good he's got that back, I was afraid it might've been lost after Sarah and Adam were killed."
"I see," Ezra said softly. He agreed with Buck, it felt good to finally talk about his passion and with someone who totally understood as well. "God, Buck, when I saw him this afternoon, half naked and so... aroused, his head thrown back...."
"Those cries of passion. And when he came.... Damn!" Buck stood up with some difficulty. "Sorry pard, gotta take care of something."
Ezra chuckled, cupping the bulge of his erection in his pants and stood up as well. "As do I, Buck, as do I. I have to every time I think about what I've seen this afternoon."
"Yeah, me too. Or when I remember how he feels to kiss."
"You know how that feels?"
Buck suddenly turned away, his shoulders hunched. "I eh... sort of took a kiss from him between them barns."
"That would explain the lip and the bleeding nose."
"Wasn't like I meant to, just... if he let Vin, why wouldn't he let me?"
"Or me? Get into that tight ass...."
"God, Ezra, don't say a thing like that! Now I'm real hard."
Buck had turned back to him and they were looking at each other as far as that was possible in the darkness of the night. Ezra shivered, feeling his cock throb, begging for release. "So," he finally whispered, "how did it feel to kiss Mister Larabee?"
"Amazing, but that's just words, ya really oughta experience it. I can't help ya with that, but I can make you feel this." And then Buck's lips were on his own, his mustache prickling against his skin. His cock jumped up and now there was no denying he was rock hard. The kiss became more and more passionate. Soon Buck's tongue had entered his mouth and the man seemed set on devouring him. Ezra leaned in, rubbing his crotch against the tall, hard body in front of him.
When Buck finally broke the kiss off, he asked huskily, "You think Vin can kiss better 'n that?"
"I sincerely doubt it, Mister Wilmington," Ezra answered breathlessly. "However, maybe to be very certain I should test your kissing skills once more." Immediately Buck lashed on and this time their hands started groping at each other's belts and flies.
"Please tell me you are not wearing long johns," Ezra managed to get out before having his lips captured once more.
Buck stopped the kiss just long enough to breathe "Don't worry, they're the kind that makes my dick damn easy to reach, or it would cramp my style with the ladies."
"Ah, the ladies."
"I been playing both sides of the fence for as long as I can remember, Ez. Just was making sure Chris would never know it. God, yer hand feels good!"
"So does yours."
Then Ezra was beyond speaking as he felt Buck's hand handle his cock with expertise, touching him exactly in the right way. Yes, this man did know what he was doing, as was he. Gritting his teeth against his almost painful arousal he squeezed Buck in what he knew was the accurate spot to get a maximal response. Buck suddenly shuddered in a most satisfying manner. He lashed his lips onto Buck's once more, making sure it was his tongue that entered when they were kissing again. He started pumping Buck's cock in earnest and had the ladies man writing against him in no time. Then electricity burst through his own rock hard shaft, making him totally weak in his legs. He couldn't stay up! Making sure he kept his hold on Buck's thick and throbbing member he sank down.
They ended on their knees, mouths still attached, hands still pumping the other. God, he was going to burst wide open! With a sudden pang of loss he knew he had to let go of Buck's lips or perish in the assault of feelings on his body. Throwing his head back, thrusting his hips forward, he was completely overtaken like he hadn't been in a long, long time. Images of Chris in the throes of passion started playing through his head and almost frantic he moved his cock against the hand holding it, in a rhythm with Buck's pumping. Before long his own hand was pumping Buck in the same rhythm as well. He groaned and heard Buck groan too and then he seemed to burst, his seed spurting forth in one long and almost endless stream. Buck gave a yell that sounded suspiciously like 'Chris', his own cum all over Ezra's hand. He didn't care what Buck had been yelling, all he knew was that this had felt so much better than a job by his own hand, so, so much better.
He didn't want to let go of Buck and he didn't want Buck to let go of him. Resting his head against the strong chest before him, he heard Buck chuckle.
"You do know Ez," the ladies man said softly. "that y' ain't so bad lookin' yerself, don't you?"
"I know," he smiled, "I know. But as I said, it is not about good looks alone, it is about more, about what shines from the inside out."
"Ain't that a fact," Buck sighed, resting his head on top of Ezra's. For a moment longer they held onto each other. Then Buck said softly, "You know, this is better 'n Daisy or Blossom to help me out. How 'bout you, how you feel 'bout this?"
"Actually I feel very, very good about this," Ezra admitted with a smile.
Yes, he certainly did. It hadn't been exactly what he wanted, but it had been astonishingly good all the same.
Continues in Talking About the Past