ONE
It was a perfect spring day.It was also Sunday.
After weeks spent indoors, both Chris and Vin were glad to get outside. They saddled Peso and Pony and headed up to a favorite clearing to spend the day.
Away from phones.
Away from civilization.
The past months had been especially rough. Vin was just getting back to speed after being injured during an op. He'd been knocked off his perch on a high beam by a high caliber bullet to his kevlar vest. His safety harness kept him from hitting the floor, but the force of the bullet sent him swinging off the beam and slammed him against a concrete wall instead.
With bruise from the bullet's impact and the collision with the wall, plus a dislocated shoulder, Vin had been on desk duty for nearly a month.
Now, as they rode out into the sunshine, Vin wanted nothing more than to forget the past month.
Chris wasn't sure that Vin was up to a long ride, but decided that it was easier to keep an eye on him than to argue with the stubborn Texan.
So he watched, keeping a sharp but discreet eye on his friend.
It was quiet, with just the soft sound of the horse’s hooves as they plodded along the dirt trail, and an occasional flutter of wings or snatch of birdsong.
They hadn't said more than a dozen words since leaving the barn, using their usual non-verbal communication... a look or a nod to indicate something of interest.
As he watched Vin ride, Chris realized how much the Texan's ease and quiet contentment had worn off on him over the past year -- and how much he'd grown to value the younger man's company and friendship.
A year ago he would have spent the day alone, still mourning a family that had been gone for over three years. Now, although he still missed Sara and Adam, he was beginning to see that there was a world out there that he could be a part of -- A world that was filled with living people.
A world where Vin Tanner was the kind of friend that he could spend time with and, at least for a while, lay down his burden of grief and guilt.
He smiled.
Then realized that he was smiling -- and smiled some more.
Before Vin had joined the team, it had been a very long time since he'd just smiled for no other reason than being out in the spring sunshine. Now, it seemed he found himself smiling more and more.
He checked on Vin again and saw that he was riding with his face turned up to the sun, eyes closed, body relaxed, at one with his mount and the rest of the world.
Yep, it was a perfect spring day.
+ + + + + + +
They arrived at their destination, a nearly hidden meadow that was tucked into a small valley. There was a spring and a stand of aspen that were just greening up for the season. The field was carpeted by grasses and wildflowers that were just beginning to bloom. The air was fresh and the light breeze just cool enough keep them comfortable in the sunshine.
They dismounted and pulled the saddles and tack off so the horses could roll and graze while they enjoyed the day.
+ + + + + + +
Vin was feeling good, the ride just what he'd needed after being stuck at a desk for weeks.
But he wasn't so relaxed that he hadn't noticed how Chris had been watching him -- and smiling -- as they rode.
He'd pretended not to notice the looks while trying to figure out what they were about.
If they meant what he hoped.
He'd given Chris a lot of looks himself, over the past year, but he was confident that the older man hadn't noticed as he watched -- and wanted.
He knew how he felt -- had felt since meeting Chris almost a year ago.
He also knew that he could never tell Chris.
Or at least he'd thought that he couldn't.
But lately -- like today, he'd noticed that Chris had been giving him a lot of looks.
Not that he'd been obvious about it, but more and more Vin had been aware that someone was watching, and, any number of times he'd glanced up and found Chris's green gaze focused on him.
Now, as he pondered those looks, Vin was thinking that maybe, if he wasn't totally misreading them, there was a chance that his dreams he might actually be realized -- a chance that he could have Chris.
Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.
He didn't realize that he'd been standing there pondering, until Chris was at his side sliding an arm around his shoulder as he leaned in to whisper, his breath warm on his cheek.
"So, where do you want to do it?"
Vin nearly jumped out of his boots.
"Ahh," he paused looking around and wondering if Chris had just propositioned him -- or if he was just caught up in a daydream.
"Um -- anywhere is fine," Vin managed to stammer out. Hoping his answer would work whatever Chris had actually asked -- daydream -- or something else.
"Well grab the saddlebags, I'm getting mighty hungry." Chris turned and grinned, "This picnic was a great idea."
Vin felt dizzy with relief -- and disappointment. Not a proposition, just a question about lunch.
Get a grip, Tanner…
As they walked over to the fallen log that they often used as a bench Vin caught Chris eyeing him once more.
Well, maybe...
+ + + + + + +
They ate in silence, watching a red-tail hawk circling lazily above the clearing and laughing as Peso and Pony romped and rolled before settling down to graze.
Later, Vin would blame the lulling effect of the warm sunshine, or the fresh spring air, or maybe just plain old spring fever, but for whatever reason, as they basked in the perfect spring day, he turned to Chris and kissed him.
What happened next was a shock for both men.
Chris reacted without conscious thought.
More a reflex than a planned movement, but when Vin turned and kissed him, Chris's fist rose and the next thing he knew Vin was sprawled in the grass and he was storming off across the meadow.
+ + + + + + +
Vin was barely aware of what was happening, of what he'd done until he found himself sprawled on the ground, his face aching.
"Aw, hell."
He looked up and saw Chris disappear into the aspen grove, his back ramrod straight and his stride long and determined.
Blew that one Tanner -- big time.
He levered himself to his feet and glanced around the clearing.
Nothing fer me here. His eye ached and Vin realized that Chris's fist had hit home -- he was going to have a hell of a shiner.
Good thing he wasn't packing He almost laughed at the thought, then realized that it might have been easier if he had been.
A sharp whistle brought Peso to him, he saddled the black and, with one last look back at a place that held so many fond memories, he mounted. Kicking Peso into a ground covering pace, he headed back to the ranch, the sooner he was gone the better.
+ + + + + + +
Chris was stomping through the bushes cursing and swatting at any stray piece of foliage that dared to intrude on his path.
God damn ornery son-of-a-bitch Texan -- what the fuck does he think he's doing -- I ain't some kinda guy that kisses my best friend
He was hot and tired and pissed off and, he thought, with a cynical grunt as he looked around -- lost.
Well maybe not "lost" in the "send in the search teams" sense, but not really sure exactly where he was either.
"God damned ornery son-of-a-bitch..."
Here he was out in the middle of nowhere, tired and sweaty, while Vin was probably sitting back in the clearing finishing off the last piece of blueberry pie.
Why the hell did he have to kiss me?
He finally spotted a likely looking stump and sat down with a heavy sigh.
Now what?
As he sat in the warm filtered sunlight, his anger suddenly drained away. He thought about his options and decided that complete denial would be the best choice.
I go back, we ride home and pretend that nothing happened.
Vin didn't kiss me.
I didn't kiss him back.
And, oh, hell, I punched him in the face.
Another heavy sigh.
Okay -- if the kiss didn't happen, then neither did the punch.
We're adults, we can deal with this.
Maybe even laugh about it -- eventually.
He looked around and decided which direction he needed to go and headed back.
Damn ornery son-of-a-bitch Texan
He arrived sometime later to find Pony, the remains of the picnic and nothing, or rather, no one else.
Guess he must have decided to head back alone.
Might be a good idea, give us both time to cool down.
So much for a prefect spring day.
+ + + + + + +
Vin tried not to think as he rode back to the ranch.
At least not about Chris -- and the kiss.
But the longer he rode the harder it was to stop his mind from replaying those few seconds of heaven -- when he turned toward Chris who was sitting barely inches from him and, acting on an impulse that he still didn't understand, leaned in and kissed those oh-so-perfect-lips. Then as he thought more about it, he realized that there had been a moment, a sweet, incomprehensible moment, when he'd felt Chris responding to his gentle pressure, kissing him back.
But before he could fully appreciate the sensation -- the fist had connected with his face and slammed him to the ground.
No, he couldn't allow himself the luxury of hope. Chris had made his feelings abundantly clear.
Now the only question was whether of not he would still have a job, and if he did, would he be able to stay there and work with Chris every day knowing that his friendship was over.
He'd over-stepped himself and screwed up the best friendship he'd had in a very long time.
Maybe the best friend he'd ever had.
Now, as he rode in the bright spring sunshine, all Vin felt was cold and empty.
By the time Chris arrived back at the ranch Vin was long gone.
Monday morning, ATF offices
Chris arrived at his usual time, expecting to find Vin already there since they both routinely arrived at least twenty minutes earlier than the rest of the team. He hoped that they could come to terms with the previous days fiasco before the rest of the men wandered in.It didn't look like he was going to get his wish.
In fact, the rest of the men were all there by the time Vin arrived, just moments before he would have been considered "late".
And, as Chris figured, Vin's arrival caused quite a stir.
His eye was nearly swollen shut and the deep purple bruise covered nearly half his face.
"Damn, Vin," Buck wondered loudly, "whats the other guy look like?"
Tall, blond, and sexy as hell... Vin mused silently, a grim smile on his face. "No guy, Buck -- just walked myself into a closed door." Vin kept his voice even.
He could do this.
He'd spent all night pondering on how he could handle the situation and, still unsure as to whether he could -- or would stay long term, he decided that the only way he might have a chance was to pretend that nothing had happened.
But, in order for that to work, he would have to treat Chris in an utterly professional manner.
Their relationship would now be team member and team leader – cold and impersonal, but for Vin's sanity, necessary. He looked up to see Chris standing in the door to his office.
"Must have been one hell of a door, Tanner." His voice sounding only mildly ironic.
Vin nodded. Chris had heard and accepted the ruse, even if one or two of the other men had incredulous looks on their faces.
Vin made every effort to avoid being alone with Chris, managing to keep at least one other man in his presence at all times, even waiting until someone else was in the break room before heading in for his coffee.
The one flaw in that plan was obvious when, in the middle of the afternoon, Chris stuck his head out of his office door and bellowed. "Tanner, my office, now."
"Shit."
+ + + + + + +
Chris turned back into his office feeling a wave of guilt as he realized how hard he must have hit Vin the day before -- his eye was a mess.
"Damn, ornery son-of-a-bitch Texan."
He thought about the excuse that Vin had given and knew that Buck, at least, would never buy it, but he also was pretty sure that Vin would never tell anyone what really happened.
He'd spent the morning doing paperwork in his office, peeking out occasionally and wondering if Vin would come in and talk. When that didn't seem to be happening, he watched and waited, hoping for a chance to catch him alone in the break room. When that failed, he decided that he would just have to be direct. He stood and walked to the door of his office and called Vin in.
"Hey, Vin," JD called from his desk, "sounds like you're in for it now."
Noticing the dread on Vin's face, Josiah put a hand on his shoulder as he rose. "Think he may have found out who hid his favorite mug?"
"Nah," Vin brushed the question aside, "I made sure that the evidence for that one will all point to Buck." He shook his head. "Probably just in a mood because it's budget time."
The last thing Vin wanted was for the rest of the men to find out anything.
He entered the office and shut the door -- but stood just inside as he looked up and met Chris's eyes.
"What?"
"Thought maybe we should talk."
"'Bout what?"
Chris sighed, a part of him glad that Vin was playing it exactly as he himself had planned. But for some reason, having Vin act like nothing had happened was making him crazy.
Not that he wasn't already a bit crazy
He'd been awake for most of the night -- awake and trying desperately not to remember the feel of those soft, firm lips as Vin kissed him.
"Dammit, Tanner. Yesterday."
"Yeah, sure was a pretty day, wasn't it?" His voice was steady but Vin fought to keep his breath even, he didn't want to think about yesterday -- much less talk about it.
Chris glared at the younger man, the vein in his forehead throbbing as he clenched his hands into fists. Why was it that Vin, of all the people he knew, was able to make him crazy with barely a word.
"So, that's how we're gonna play it?" Chris finally ground out, pissed off that his own plan seemed to be mocking him -- especially since Vin seemed unperturbed by the entire event.
"Seems like the best to me," Vin clipped out, nerves fraying as he struggled maintain control. The only thing that was making it possible at that point was the fact that Chris was obviously fighting for control, too.
"Fine, get back to work," Chris growled and looked back at his own pile of paperwork, effectively dismissing Vin.
Tuesday was pretty much the same -- except that Chris was even grumpier after a second nearly sleepless night.
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday -- more of the same.
Although Chris could tell that Vin was beginning to feel the strain.
At least he looked a bit tired.
But that could have been because of the kaleidoscope of colors that were now gracing his cheek as the bruise began to fade.
Both Chris and Vin did their best to avoid each other while the rest of the team watched as they realized that something was up between the two men.
And if any of them weren't convinced that there was something amiss, they were sure on Friday when first Vin then Chris made lame excuses rather than attend their weekly debrief at Inez's.
Buck considered coercing one or the other to come along, then before he could decide which one to approach, Josiah pulled him aside and suggested that maybe it would be better if neither man was there -- that way the rest of the team could discuss the situation and try to figure out what was going on and, more importantly, devise a strategy to get things back to normal.
+ + + + + + +
And while Chris was clearly having a miserable week, Vin was ready to climb the walls – although that wasn’t as obvious – he’d simply had more practice covering up his feelings during his years in the foster care system.
Now, as the week drew to an end, he'd decided that staying here, with the team -- with Chris -- was just too hard.
It was time to move on.
He cursed his own stupidity for the thousandth time as he wished for the same number of times that he'd kept his feelings to himself.
If he could only take back the previous weekend -- could have his best friend back instead of the grim, angry man that had spent the entire week avoiding him.
Today he'd finally given in and called an old friend.
He would meet with him and fill him in about his situation, and see if a long-standing offer was still available.
Tonight he would find out what his future might hold once he'd made his break from the ATF.
+ + + + + + +
Vin hadn't planned on drinking tonight.
Let alone drinking a lot.
But once he sat down with Chanu and started talking about coming to work with him and Raphael at their agency, the realization of how much he was changing his life -- how many friends he would be leaving behind – hit home.
He had spent nearly a year living with Chanu and his family after running away from his last foster home, and it had been the best year he'd had since his mother had died, but when the state had found out that a non-Indian juvenile was living at the reservation he'd run away rather than risk getting his chosen family in trouble with the government. They had kept in touch over the years, and Chanu had asked Vin to come and work at his investigation agency. But Vin already had a new family at the ATF and until now, he'd politely declined all offers.
Chanu, knowing that Vin might not be happy if he made such a major change without really thinking it through, casually signaled For the waiter to keep the drinks coming.
It was just after Vin had staggered into the restroom that his cell phone, left in the pocket of his jacket draped over the back of his chair, rang.
Chanu answered and found Buck Wilmington on the other end, he had been delegated to call Vin and convince him to join the team, sans Chris, at Inez's.
The plan they had devised was based on the idea that Vin might be easier to pump for information than Chris -- and the guys had decided that they definitely needed more information.
So after a brief conversation, Chanu agree to deliver Vin to the saloon.
And while Vin might normally be as hard to pry information from as Larabee, tonight might be a bit easier given his less than sober state.
Chanu just hoped that his friend would eventually forgive him for their subterfuge.
As it ended up, forgiveness was unnecessary -- as soon as Chanu eased the unsteady man from his truck, Vin recognized the bar and refused to enter.
He was all too familiar with the tactics of the rest of the team and knew that they would try to get him to tell them what was going on between him and Chris, and that was one thing he knew he could not risk. If he went inside and gave them a chance they might get him to talk -- especially since he was pretty well skunked.
Chanu managed to get him almost all they way to the door before Vin finally refused to be pushed any farther, begging Chanu to understand that he just couldn't open up -- to the team -- or to anyone else.
Conceding that Vin might be right, Chanu reached out to steady Vin as they turned back towards the truck.
+ + + + + + +
Chris was almost halfway home when he decided that running did not really fit in with the macho, hard-assed, take-no-prisoners image that he worked so hard to maintain.
Damned if he was going to let a sorry-assed Texan make him look like a weenie in front of his team.
He slewed the big truck around in a u-turn and headed back to Inez's, and was just pulling into the lot as Chanu reached out and slid an arm around Vin’s waist to keep him upright as they headed back to his pick-up.
Neither man noticed the big, black truck as it stopped, then backed out of the driveway.
+ + + + + + +
Chris looked up as he turned into the parking lot and saw the two men by the door, and as they turned towards him, the streetlight above gave him a clear, unobstructed view of their features.
Is that Vin?
Chris stepped on the brake and watched as they started to move away from the door.
Is he drunk?
Vin rarely drank enough to impair his control, but he was definitely staggering.
And who's that guy with his arm around him?
He backed out of the lot and stopped at the curb and continued to watch as Vin and the longhaired man made their way to a big, late-model pick-up truck. Vin was obviously more than slightly drunk and the other man seemed to be quite sober.
Was he taking advantage of Vin?
The hands holding Vin moved lower onto his slim hips as he stumbled, and…
Chris's blood pressure rose.
Hey -- keep your hands off my -- um -- sharpshooter!
Where were the rest of the guys that they would let some stranger help Vin home?
He watched as the man helped Vin into the truck, cupping the back of Vin's head as he guided him in. He could see Vin protest a bit at that, but as the other man's lips moved, Vin laughed and smiled up at him.
Maybe not a stranger
"Shit."
He sat fuming for a moment after the pickup pulled out of the other end of the lot and thought about what he'd seen.
He should just go in and ask the rest of the team what was going on.
But that seemed so weak.
So needy.
He should know what was up with Vin -- more than anyone else. He shouldn't have to ask them.
God-damned ornery Texan.
The windows of the big Ram were noticeably steamy as it pulled out onto the highway.
+ + + + + + +
Inside the saloon, the men waited. Chanu had indicated that they were close by, and that he would bring Vin there as soon as he came out of the men's room, but after nearly an hour, they realized that they would need to resort to plan B.
Plan B involved a softer, more personal approach. And, although it had a fair chance of success, it would surely take more time.
They finished their evening with their heads together working out details for the upcoming week.
+ + + + + + +
After a miserable weekend, Monday morning finally arrived.
Chris got to the Federal Building early and had to enter through the main lobby in order to pick up a packet that Travis had asked the DPD to drop off for an upcoming case.
As he approached the security desk, he noticed a man talking with the guard.
The man was somewhat shorter than him but he carried himself with an air of self confidence and ease that fit well with his attire -- his suit was of a quality that would make Ezra green with envy.
Not that Ezra would wear a black suit, with a black designer shirt and String tie. Nor would he wear what were obviously custom-made black snakeskin boots with two-inch Cuban heels.
No, this was the kind of outfit that Chris was more likely to find in his own wardrobe – except maybe the boots -- if he ever felt the need to spend a month's salary on one suit.
He watched closely as the man handed Ralph, the guard, a large manila envelope. He was still staring when the man turned around to face him.
The handsome, dark-eyed Latino man smiled as he caught Chris's bold, measuring stare, running his own eyes quickly up and down in his own assessment, then re-met the green eyes with a clear "alpha-to-alpha" challenge before turning aside and strutting out of the lobby.
It took a moment for Chris to regain his focus and step up to the desk where he retrieved the file that Travis needed. He was about to head upstairs when he realized Ralph was handing him another item.
An envelope.
The same large manila envelope that he'd just seen the Latino man hand over
"The gentleman who just left dropped this off for agent Tanner," Ralph was saying, "could you take it up with you?"
Chris looked at the proffered packet and reluctantly nodded his assent, taking it and turning towards the elevator bank.
It wasn't until he was standing there, waiting for the next car that he glanced down and noticed the post-it note stuck on the outside.
In graceful cursive letters it read: Lunch, 1:30, Max's...Can't wait to see you again.
Shit
On Friday Vin was out drinking with a handsome, longhaired Indian, and now he was meeting an expensively dressed, good looking Latino for lunch.
What next?
He managed to stifle the growl that rose in his throat as he entered the elevator, but the look on his face must have given his thoughts away since the two women and the suit that were waiting beside him declined to enter the small, enclosed space with him.
Fine. He preferred to ride alone.
He looked at the note again and wondered as he did so what was inside the large packet.
It wasn't sealed, just held shut by the metal-hinged device so common on inter-office envelopes.
A small peek inside would never be detected.
Now he did snarl.
Goddamned, ornery Texan. I am not gonna be reduced to snooping through his personal correspondence.
He could feel that vein the others always teased him about throbbing.
He looked down and found that he was clutching the envelope so tightly that he was crushing the edge and deliberately relaxed his fist.
He smoothed the now-wrinkled surface and took a deep calming breath as the elevator came to a stop on his floor.
The next time Vin can pick up his own luncheon invitation -- I am not a messenger boy.
He stalked into the office, pausing by Vin's as yet un-occupied desk and dropped the offending packed on his blotter, then continued on into his office.
+ + + + + + +
Buck and Josiah were just coming in from the break room with their morning coffee as Chris dropped the envelope on Vin's desk.
They looked at each other and smiled.
A possible clue to the mysterious estrangement of the two men?
Buck winked as he sidled over to Vin's desk and glanced at the packet. The post-it note piqued his interest and, unlike Larabee, Buck didn't have any qualms at all about taking a look inside the envelope.
The first thing he saw was a sheet that was marked "benefits package".
Holy shit -- Vin was job hunting -- no wonder Chris was ready to blow a gasket
+ + + + + + +
Chanu decided that Vin was a bit too plastered to leave him alone at home, so he took him back to his place.
And, as Vin had done for him a few times over the years, he stayed by his friend, holding his hair back as he hugged the porcelain.
It would, no doubt, be a very long time before Vin overindulged in alcohol again.
On Saturday afternoon, when Vin finally dragged his abused body out of the guestroom, Chanu had fresh coffee ready.
"I think maybe we should drive out to my dad's place and spend some time in his sweat-lodge," Chanu mused as he watched Vin's careful movements.
Vin shook his head. "Not today, I'd be carsick before we got halfway there."
"Good point," Chanu ceded. His truck still had that "new car" smell and he wasn't ready to trade it for the odor of "day old used beer".
They sat in a comfortable silence for a while as Vin sipped his coffee.
It helped -- some.
A day at home in bed would help more.
"Think I'll just head home and take it easy," Vin sighed.
He felt like shit and his life was a car-wreck.
He was about to leave his job and the best friends he'd ever worked with -- and all because he couldn't keep his emotions in check.
He knew that working with Chanu and Raphael would be good, but it wasn't what he really wanted.
What he wanted was for his life to go back to the way it was.
Well, at least that was what he'd settle for, since what he really wanted was Chris and that didn't seem to be an option.
He sighed and pushed the empty cup away.
"You can take me home now."
Chanu laughed softly. "It's not that bad, little brother."
Vin looked up into Chanu's dark eyes, his own misting as he realized that there was still one person who would stand by him. "It ain't good, either."
Chanu rose and pulled Vin up from the chair, embracing him gently. "You have to trust that it will all work out, Vin -- that you will be where you are meant to be and with whom you are meant to be with."
By Monday morning, Vin was nearly ready to face the week.
At least his head had stopped aching, if not his heart.
+ + + + + + +
He arrived a few minutes late, a nearly empty fuel tank and long line at the pump conspiring against his vow to act as if nothing had changed.
And arriving late was definitely a change.
The office was abuzz as he strode in, stopping to grab a cup of coffee before continuing on to his desk.
The envelope sitting there reminded him that Raphael was due back in town today and obviously Chanu had filled him in -- they were wasting no time in their campaign to recruit him.
He checked his calendar and decided that he might as well meet Raphael for lunch, despite his hesitation about actually leaving the ATF.
No sense in closing any doors at this point.
Settling in to catch up on his paperwork, he soon noticed that he was getting more than a few odd looks from the rest of the team.
Had Chris said something to them?
+ + + + + + +
Chris paced back and forth behind his desk. He'd watched as Vin arrived and picked up the packet on his desk, reading the note and then looking inside before settling in to work.
He couldn't forget the note and those neatly written words -- Lunch, 1:30, Max's...Can't wait to see you again
Who was this guy -- and why was Vin meeting him for lunch?
He was unfamiliar with the restaurant, but had heard it mentioned at some point -- unfortunately he couldn't remember anything about it.
He tried to put Vin, Max's, and the Latino man out of his head and get some work done but as the hands on the clock moved closer to the appointed hour, he finally conceded that he wasn't getting anything done.
He pulled out his Denver yellow pages and opened it to the restaurant section.
There it was -- a half page ad for the upscale bistro -- it was in a classy area not too far from the Federal Building, bordering on the re-vitalized "New Town" part of Denver where all the most popular art galleries and cafes seemed to be clustered -- along with most of the gay bars.
Shit.
He was reaching out to slam the big book shut when Ezra tapped on the door and walked in without waiting for his acknowledgement or permission.
"Dammit, Ezra," he growled.
"Sorry, Mr. Larabee, but I needed to get this paperwork turned in before I leave for lunch -- oh, say, is that that new bistro over on Fourth?"
Chris followed his line of sight to the prominent ad and inspiration struck.
"Why, yes, Ezra," Chris paused as he grabbed his jacket, "and I was just on my way to check it out...why don't you join me." He grabbed the nearest tailored, jacketed sleeve and pulled the southerner out the door with him as he headed out of his office.
"Ezra and I need to go out for a bit -- we'll be back in a couple hours," he called out to the office in general as he nearly dragged the sputtering man with him.
As they entered the elevator, Ezra could be heard muttering about his mishandled attire and how he was perfectly willing to accompany him to lunch -- he could simply ask nicely instead of dragging him through the office.
The doors closed and Chris began to pace the small car, ignoring the other man completely.
Ezra decided that whatever was up, as long as Larabee picked up the tab at the overpriced restaurant, he would go along for the ride.
They arrived at about a quarter after one and, with a bit of verbal coercion supplemented with a hefty bribe, were then seated in a booth that overlooked most of the rest of the dining area, but was itself, in an unobtrusive location.
Chris seemed to be completely uninterested in ordering and after Ezra asked for a third time what he wanted, he finally grunted a reply. "Go ahead, Ezra, order whatever..." then he turned back to watch the rest of the room.
Ezra licked his lips as he perused the menu, it contained a lavish selection of sumptuous, overpriced dishes. His mouth watered as he made his selections.
Chris watched as the stylish Latino man entered and the maitre d' escorted him to one of the prime tables, the attention he received as he was seated made it clear that he was a regular.
A few minutes later, Vin arrived.
As he reached the table, the handsome Latino rose and took both of Vin's hands as he leaned forward and kissed both of Vin's cheeks in a familiar greeting.
Chris growled low in his throat, watching so intently that he never even noticed the waiter as he delivered several succulent dishes and an expensive bottle of wine to his table.
Ezra opened his napkin and, sniffing appreciatively at the enticing aromas, then dug in.
As Chris watched, Vin sat down and waved the menu aside as they other man spoke to the waiter who nodded gleefully at the long list of items ordered.
Anyone watching could see the lure of a large tip lighting up the server's eyes.
He was vaguely aware of Ezra sitting on the other side of the booth as he commented on the food and prattled on as he was wont to do, and knew that he should turn around and at least pretend to eat something but his eyes were glued on the scene unfolding across the room. While they waited for their lunch to arrive, the man poured a glass of wine for Vin and spoke softly to him, before reaching over to spread butter on a slice of bread and place it on Vin's plate.
Hey, he's a grown man, he can butter his own bread
Then, right there in the middle of a crowded restaurant, the man reached over and took Vin's hand in his own.
It was just too much.
Chris stood quickly, turned and stormed out of the building.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra finally looked over to where Chris was focused and saw what had captured his attention.
Vin.
And another man.
He remembered what Buck had said about the contents of the envelope and realized that this must be the person who was trying to hire Vin away from the ATF.
No wonder Chris was upset.
Well, at least that left more of the delectable dishes for himself. If Chris wasn't interested in sampling these fabulous foods, he would be more than happy to consume them.
He certainly wouldn't spend this much on lunch for himself, at least not on an ordinary workday.
He sighed contentedly as yet another culinary creation was placed on the table.
This would, no doubt, be a meal to remember.
Then, with no warning at all, Chris stood and stalked out of the restaurant. Leaving him with all the wonderful food all to himself.
And the cheque.
And no ride back to the office.
Merde.
+ + + + + + +
Vin glanced up just as Chris reached the door and immediately recognized him.
What the hell was Larabee doing here?
Then he remembered the post-it note and the odd looks he'd gotten earlier.
So, his luncheon date was no secret from the rest of the men.
The only question was what did they think about it -- that it was a date -- a homosexual date because of the location -- or did they know that he was considering a job change?
And what gave Chris the right to spy on him?
Then again -- if he went to the trouble to follow him -- maybe he did care.
Suddenly all the rich food seemed to congeal into a heavy lump in his stomach.
Hell, it was all too damn confusing and frustrating.
He made apologies to Raphael and stood up, preparing to leave.
Then he spotted Ezra sitting in one of the back booths.
Shit -- was the whole fucking team spying on him now?
He glared at the southerner who looked up and noticed he had been spotted, but before the smooth-talking man could rise and catch up to him, Vin was out the door, in his jeep and gone.
Vin drove around for the next half-hour too irritated to think straight when he finally realized that he would be needing another fill-up if he continued wasting his gas. He pulled into a small park and sat there pondering for the next hour.
+ + + + + + +
Ezra swore as Vin drove off. Now he would have to cover the cheque and pay for a taxi.
He went back in and settled down to leisurely finish his luncheon – damned if he was going to rush through a meal that cost more than his usual budget for a week of noontime repasts.
He didn't think Chris would even notice his absence. And if he did, he could simply point out that he had been abandoned without a vehicle.
+ + + + + + +
Vin finally came to the conclusion that he really didn't want to deal with Chris, or anyone else on the team at the moment or for the next few days either -- at least not until he'd had some time to make up his mind about what to do. So he did something that he would normally never consider – he went over Chris's head, called Travis and told him that he needed the rest of the week off as personal time. He figured that since they weren't on a case and since he rarely used any of his leave, that the AD would probably allow him the time. If Travis wondered why Vin called him rather than simply asking Larabee, he never said anything as he told Vin to take the time off.
It only took Vin a few minutes to decide that staying at his apartment would be a bad idea. As soon as Travis informed Chris about his request, it would be the first place Larabee would look. So, since the weather had been particularly nice, Vin decided that he would saddle up Peso and camp up in the mountains for a few days.
After a quick stop at home for supplies, he headed out to Nettie's place where he left his jeep, not wanting to leave it at Chris's. And after letting her feed him more than he really wanted to eat, Nettie dropped him off at the ranch so he could saddle Peso up for the trip.
He could tell Nettie was aching to ask why he didn't just leave the jeep there, but she knew better than to pry -- especially when he was as upset as she could easily see he was.
He'd talk when he was ready -- and Nettie had known him long enough to know that simple fact very well.
By early evening, he and Peso were far up in the foothills of the National Park that abutted the back of Chris's ranch.
Vin was already more relaxed and breathing easier.
Fresh air and a few days away from civilization always did wonders – particularly when he needed to ponder.
+ + + + + + +
Josiah, Buck, Nathan, and JD watched as first Chris, Ezra in tow, then Vin left for lunch. They exchanged bemused looks before pulling out their own lunches. Their mealtime discussion consisted of speculation about the exodus of the three men and how that all fit together with everything else that had occurred during the past week.
And although the guesses were inventive, they came nowhere near to the truth.
Less than an hour later, Chris stormed back through the room and into his office -- no one dared to ask him exactly what he'd done with Ezra.
It was almost two hours later when the Southerner ambled back into the office with a expression on his face that was somewhere between outraged indignation at being left with the enormous cheque and utter gastronomic bliss.
Vin however, never returned from lunch.
It wasn't until almost quitting time that the memo from Travis informing Chris about Vin's leave, arrived via an inter-office e-mail which JD managed to intercept.
The rest of the men managed to escape to their respective homes before Chris finished fuming and exited his office.
When he finally reached the ranch, he discovered that Peso, along with most of his tack, was missing.
He stared into the empty stall.
Had his actions finally driven Vin completely away?
Were his "personal days off" just a prelude to a more permanent solution?
And was Chris willing to just let Vin just walk away because he couldn't admit how he felt?
TWO
The rest of the week was hell.And not just for Chris.
If he was going to suffer, the rest of the team was going to join him. The only one absent was Vin, and he was in paradise.
At least physically.
The weather was perfect, the wilderness beautiful, and Peso, for once was acting like a normal, well-trained horse.
But Vin barely noticed. All he knew was that he felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on by a herd of buffalo -- large, angry, buffalo.
His intention was to return to the ranch early Friday afternoon so that he could be gone well before Chris arrived home from work -- but as usual -- fate had other plans.
On Thursday evening, Peso stumbled over a hidden log and, although the injury to his leg appeared to be minor, he was temporarily, lame.
The trip back to the ranch would take much longer on foot while leading the limping animal.
+ + + + + + +
On Friday, Buck decided that intervention was necessary and told the rest of the team about his plan to go out to the ranch and ride on Saturday.
"Are you nuts, Buck?" JD gasped, eyeing the closed door of Chris's office warily.
Nathan and Josiah nodded their agreement to JD's assessment, but Buck was determined to find out what was going on.
"Relax, JD, Chris and I have been through a lot worse, I know how to get through to him." His bravado was admirable, if a bit overstated.
Ezra joined in, having come to a few conclusions that he had not yet shared with the team. "I think Buck may be correct, if anyone can divert our leaders attention from his current preoccupation, it will be him."
"I don't know, Ezra," Nathan mused, "I'm not sure that diversion is exactly what is called for here -- we need to find out what is really going on between Chris and Vin and see if we can get them talking -- to each other."
"Well, while that would be ideal, Mr. Jackson," Ezra agreed, "but I don't think that any of us have any idea where to find Mr. Tanner and even if we did, I'm not convinced that we could get Mr. Larabee and him into the same room -- let alone talking."
Josiah shrugged, shaking his head as he turned back to his desk. "If you want to risk the wrath of our esteemed leader and try to get him to talk -- all I can say is good luck -- and a prayer."
+ + + + + + +
When Buck showed up on Saturday morning, Chris was torn between shooting him and hugging him.
He didn't want anyone poking his nose into his personal life, but on the other hand, he could really stand a diversion.
After spending the last few days wondering where Vin was and what he was doing and worrying about whether he was safe and happy, he needed to think about something else -- if even for a few hours. And spending time with Buck almost guaranteed that he would have little or no time to think about anything.
Except who Buck was dating this week, and every little detail of each and every date that he'd had with her.
Yeah, that was exactly what he needed -- a diversion.
They saddled up Pony and Belle and headed out.
Boy was he wrong.
It didn't seem to matter one whit that Buck was talking non-stop about his latest conquest -- Chris barely even noticed what Buck was saying.
As they rode along the trail -- the same one that he and Vin had ridden so many times, every sight reminded him of the last time that they rode together and how that day had ended.
Or how that kiss had felt.
Or how he had reacted.
Of how much he missed Vin's presence on his life.
Of how much more he wanted, now that he had taken the time to think about it.
As they rode, Buck droned on and on, describing the redhead he'd been with the night before, and the words that suddenly broke through his own pre-occupation with Vin were his description of what they had done...
"Oh, yeah, Chris, that woman, lord she was talented, I swear she would put a Hoover to shame, her lips were so tight and..."
Hoover?
Chris's mind jumped to Vin, kneeling in front of the sharply dressed Latino, his hand reaching up to unzip the designer slacks...
NO!
Vin would never do THAT - not to that over-dressed Latin Lothario.
He took a deep calming breath.
Buck was still yammering on...
"I tell you Chris, the suction that she had..."
But what about that same oily, lover-boy kneeling down in front of Vin -- his Vin -- reaching up and sliding those oh-so-sexy jeans down over Vin's lean hips as he caressed his firm ass...
Goddamn-it!
Keep your filthy hands off of him.
Chris had no idea just how vivid the images he'd conjured up were until he suddenly realized that Buck had finally stopped talking.
Was in fact staring at him as he sat on Pony -- fists clenched on the reins -- vein throbbing as he played the scenarios over in his mind.
He turned to face Buck.
"Um, Chris," Buck hesitated, "please don't tell me you're seeing Carmen, too. Oh, God, I'm sorry, I never..."
Chris stared at Buck, realizing that he'd mistaken his anger for jealousy about the woman he'd been carrying on about all morning and nearly laughed out loud.
If Buck only knew.
He shook his head in frustration and kicked Pony into a gallop.
This had been an abysmal idea.
He should have known better.
He was going over the edge and Buck was right here as a witness -- a big-mouthed-tell-all-witness to his final descent into madness.
Shit.
He didn't even slow down until he was nearly back to the ranch with Pony lathered up as if he'd just run the Kentucky Derby.
Shit - shit - shit.
He slowed his faithful friend and let him walk the rest of the way, cooling him slowly so he wouldn't end up overheated or dead.
It wasn't until he was actually in the barn that he realized that he wasn't alone.
There, standing in the aisle outside of Peso's stall, was Vin.
Shit.
Well, maybe this wasn't so bad.
Vin was, after all, here.
Maybe there was a chance they could talk.
Maybe there was hope.
+ + + + + + +
Vin stood at the edge of the woods for almost an hour, patiently watching and waiting. When he saw no movement in the house or the barn, he headed in.
He had walked for the two days since Peso had stumbled, leading the stubborn horse as well as carrying nearly all the supplies and tack so that he wouldn't overburden the limping equine.
He reached the barn and breathed a sigh of relief as he noted the empty stalls. Chris and Buck must be out riding, and since it was still fairly early, he figured that he had time to take care of Peso and leave before they returned. He rubbed Peso down, treated the pulled tendon with a pungent liniment, and was marshaling the last of his energy to put away the pile of tack and other supplies when he heard the sound of an approaching horse.
Shit.
He was just too damn tired and sore to deal with Chris right now.
Hell, everything else had gone wrong for the past weeks, no reason today should be any different.
He waited, listening as the rider approached and turned towards the door just as Chris entered the building.
+ + + + + + +
They stood mutely for a few moments, neither sure just how to deal with the other.
It was Vin who finally broke the silence.
"Chris," he hesitated, wishing again that he'd never been so stupid as to act upon his impulse and decided that truth was probably the best move. "I'm sorry that I well, kissed ya, and if there was any way I could take it back, I would -- do you think there's any way we can forget about it and go back to how we were before?"
His voice was barely audible at the last, doubts and fears causing his chest to tighten to the point that he could barely draw enough air to breath. His head felt light and for a fleeting moment, he thought that passing out right about now wouldn't be so bad.
When he heard Chris's reply, he wished he had.
"I'm sorry, Vin," Chris answered softly, "but that just isn't possible."
Chris was about to continue when Buck walked in and saw the two men together.
"Well, damn," Buck chortled. "It's about time..."
He never finished his sentence as the two men turned towards him and in perfect unison, snapped out..."Shut the fuck up, Buck."
Buck raised his hands up in a placating gesture as he backed out of the barn. "I'll just leave Belle out here and let you two take care of her when you..."
"Go home, Buck," Chris's voice was firm and final.
They could both hear him muttering as he headed back towards the house, "sure are touchy these days...not like I planned to interrupt..."
As Chris turned back, he caught Vin grinning at the big man's complaints and realized that he, too, was smiling.
Leave it to Buck to break the tension.
There was another moment of silence and Vin pondered what Chris had said just before they were interrupted.
Chris was probably right, some things just couldn't be taken back.
"Alright, Chris," Vin ceded, "I guess I deserve that." He sighed. "I've got a job offer, I'll talk to Travis about using my vacation time so you don't have to wait for a thirty-day notice, I can clean out my desk on Monday." He turned and was preparing to pick up his pack when Chris responded.
"No, Vin -- that's not what I meant."
Vin turned back, meeting Chris's eyes, and waited for him to explain.
How much worse could it get?
"We can't go back -- because you were right," he paused, finding it as hard as ever to express his feelings. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I'm pretty confused, but the one thing I do know is that I want more than we had before -- I -- I want you to kiss me -- and other things, too." He stammered to a halt, blushing as he finally admitted to all the things that had haunted him ever since that day -- that beautiful day when he'd rejected Vin thereby making what was probably the biggest mistake of his life.
Vin stood completely still, staring at Chris.
Had he actually said the words that Vin thought he'd heard...or had his own desire -- his need -- finally send him over the edge.
"Chris?" His voice held a question and a plea at the same time.
Chris took the three steps needed and reached out to run his hand down the side of Vin's face, gently caressing the whiskered cheek.
"I want -- I love you, Vin," Chris whispered. "I was just too stupid to realize it until I thought I'd lost you -- it's not too late, is it?" Vin felt like he was moving in a dream, everything seemed to be in slow motion. He reached out to touch Chris -- to make sure this was real.
"Not too late," he sighed, "just in time." He swayed as the two long days of walking back to the ranch caught up to him -- and as Chris took his hand, his legs buckled and he passed out.
"Vin?" Chris cried out as he caught Vin's limp body and lifted him gently into his arms.
+ + + + + + +
When Vin opened his eyes he found himself in Chris's den, stretched out on the large sofa with a quilt tucked over him.
He turned his head and found Chris sitting on a chair pulled up beside him.
"Hey," Chris whispered. " You had me worried."
Vin started to sit up and found that he was still a bit dizzy. "I'm fine."
"You passed out."
"Just a bit tired, was a long walk." "Walk?"
"Peso pulled a tendon the other day."
"So you walked back."
"Not much choice."
Chris sighed, there was no point in arguing about it. "How about some lunch."
Vin smiled. " Sounds good, I'm a mite hungry."
If Vin was admitting to being hungry, he probably hadn't eaten all day -- maybe longer if his supplies had run out.
There were more important things to discuss, but for the moment, he would have to wait. Especially with Nathan on his way -- and he still hadn't mentioned that particular fact to Vin.
Chris headed into the kitchen to see what he could scrape together -- and to avoid having to tell Vin about the medic's imminent arrival.
He dialed his cell and asked Nathan to pretend that he was just stopping by to visit.
"You think he's gonna buy that one, Chris?" Nathan asked, smiling as he pictured the blond trying to convince Vin that he was making the forty-five minute drive just to drop in and say hello.
Yeah, right.
"No, I guess not, but I still want you to check him over, he was out for nearly a half-hour."
"Well I'll be there in about twenty minutes so you better get your story figured out by then."
"Okay, thanks, Nate." Chris hit the end button and looked up to see Vin standing in the doorway with a smug expression on his face.
"Was that Nathan?"
"Yeah."
"He nearly here?"
"Yeah."
Vin sighed.
"You weren't gonna try to tell me that he just happened to drop by."
Chris grinned as he shook his head. "Not now."
"Told you I was fine."
"You did -- but that was after I'd already called Nathan, you were out for a long time."
Vin sat down at the big kitchen table. " Well then, how about that food you were talking about."
+ + + + + + +
Two hours later, after a meal and Nathan's visit, they were finally alone together in the den.
"You could have told me that you were thrown when Peso hit that root."
"Told ya I was fine."
"Yeah, and the bruises on your back don't hurt."
"Not much."
Chris moved closer to Vin on the sofa, reaching out to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "It's alright to admit that it hurts."
Vin snuggled closer and sighed. "I know, I just don't want to be a bother."
"It's no trouble Vin," Chris explained gently, "you didn't think it was a bother putting liniment on Peso, did you?"
"Of course not."
"So why would it bother me or Nathan to do the same for you?"
Vin shrugged, immediately regretting it as his muscles protested the movement.
Chris sighed again, "Here, let me massage it for you."
And before Vin could protest, he added, "I want to."
Vin gave in, still not sure that he wasn't dreaming, but deciding that he might as well enjoy it while it lasted, and turned over onto his stomach.
It was a start.
+ + + + + + +
The massage was exactly what Vin needed, his muscles were knotted and sore from carrying the extra weight of tack and supplies over the uneven terrain.
He slipped into a relaxed sleep as Chris worked on his back and, after covering him with a warm quilt, Chris slipped out of the room and into the kitchen to put a pot of soup on the stove.
He let Vin sleep for a couple hours before rousing him with a tray of food.
They ate in front of the fire, enjoying the quiet time that they had both craved for the past weeks. Then, after carrying the dishes into the kitchen, Chris guided Vin down the hall to the bedroom.
"I can sleep in the guestroom if ya want," Vin offered as they reached the door. He wasn't sure just how ready Chris was for "the next step". It was a long way from a cuddle and massage to a night spent together -- let alone sex.
"No, Vin, I want to do this -- to be with you." He hesitated, still shy about actually moving from friends to lovers. "I just -- can we go slow?"
Vin smiled. "Ain't any other way I'm going tonight." He turned to wrap an arm around Chris. "And yeah, we can take it slow."
They moved into the room and while Vin used the bathroom, Chris stripped down to his shorts and slipped under the covers, waiting until Vin came out to lift the blanket and motion for him to climb in.
It was only slightly awkward as they settled in, but they soon found that they fit well, bodies spooned together. When Chris tensed as he slipped in behind him, Vin soothed him with a gentle whisper. "Ain't nothing gonna happen tonight that you ain't ready for." He wrapped his arms around Chris and gently rubbed his chest as he nuzzled under the mussed hair and kissed the nape of Chris's neck, licking gently around until he reached an earlobe.
+ + + + + + +
Chris knew that he didn't need to be afraid -- that Vin would never hurt him, but as Vin climbed in beside him, he tensed up anyway.
Was he really going to sleep with Vin -- to make love to a man?
Was he ready for this?
He knew now that he loved Vin -- that he needed him in his life. But to actually have sex with a man...
Then Vin was curled up against him and, almost like the first time they met, it felt right. Like they fit.
Like they were meant to be.
But he was still a little worried about the sex.
Vin was whispering to him while gently caressing him and doing something to his earlobe. Soon despite what his head was saying, his body was saying yes.
Whatever else -- he found out at that moment that he not only trusted Vin with his life -- but with his body and heart, too.
+ + + + + + +
Vin knew two things as he curled up to Chris.
One was that this was not something to be rushed. And the other was that even if he wanted to, he was in no shape to "rush".
Tonight he would pleasure Chris in the most simple and non-intimidating way possible.
If Chris was really in love with him, there would be plenty of time to explore other ways that they could express their love for each other.
He considered just staying as they were for the night, taking things no further than sleeping in each other's arms, but he was still unsure -- afraid that Chris might back down if he had too long to think about what he was getting into. So, ignoring his own sore muscles and bruises, he set out to give Chris a night to remember.
Using his mouth and hands to gently arouse and then to bring him to completion, Vin initiated Chris into the pleasures of making love to a man.
There were so many ways of loving that they could and, hopefully, would explore in the coming weeks and months -- but this night would be special because it was their first night together.
It was a was a time for easy, gentle touching, and it was more than enough to send Chris over the edge of pleasure - his moans and pants reassuring Vin that he was enjoying the experience.
Then, as Vin held him while he trembled in reaction, he breathed out his love in a softly whispered litany of emotion - leaving no doubt in Vin's mind that his love was fully reciprocated.
But despite the liniment and the pain pills Nathan had insisted on, Vin had to bite his lip in an effort to suppress a moan as a spike of pain jolted up his spine -- reminding him that any movement was more than his body was really up to.
His silence told Chris all he needed to know. He turned and embraced Vin as he gently scolded him for doing too much.
"Wanted to make you feel good."
"You did -- more than good -- but I could have waited until you were feeling better," Chris argued.
Vin nodded, conceding the point, but was silently glad that he'd taken them that tiny step farther anyhow, he wanted Chris to know how good it could be.
They snuggled together, shifting a bit until they were both comfortable and fell into a contented sleep.
There would be time for more -- tomorrow -- and hopefully for a long time to come.
+ + + + + + +
Chris woke and became slowly aware of the warm body snugged up against him.
Vin.
Finally.
He opened his eyes a bit just to reassure himself that it wasn't a dream, and was immediately sure -- Vin's eye and cheek were still a multitude of colors. Chris felt a swell of guilt as he reached up to brush his fingers over the discolored area, his touch the barest contact in an effort to not wake his lover.
His lover
He thought about that for a few minutes and found that he was smiling.
His musings were cut short when Vin stirred, then opened his eyes.
"Hey."
"Hey, yourself, Cowboy," Vin mumbled back as he leaned into Chris's touch on his cheek. He met the green eyes and easily read the guilt there.
"Forget it, Chris," he whispered, "I know ya didn't do it on purpose."
Chris let out a frustrated breath, still gently rubbing the bruises. "No excuse, Vin, I really hurt you."
"I shouldn'a kissed ya like that -- just thought I saw something -- that you wanted it, too."
"I did, Vin -- just didn't get around to admitting it to myself -- or letting my fist know -- I'm so sorry."
"Wasn't nearly as bad as being around ya for the last couple weeks." Vin dipped his head and smiled shyly. "Just glad ya figured it out before I did something stupid..."
"Oh?" Chris wondered, "just what stupid things did you have in mind?"
Vin sighed, not wanting to admit that he'd nearly resigned and joined Chanu and Raphael in their agency, but he knew that Chris had seen him at the restaurant and figured that he was just asking to harass him.
"Nearly quit, fer one."
"Was worried about that -- what else?"
"Nothing really… just couldn't stay there with you hating me."
"Didn't hate you, was just confused -- and jealous."
"Jealous?"
"Yeah, saw you with that guy at the Saloon last Friday, and then that guy at the restaurant..."
Vin stared at him for a moment, confusion evident on his face.
"How did you see me at the Saloon -- I never went inside?"
"Neither did I -- I got there and you were by the door -- and that guy had his arm around you..."
"Chanu, and I was pretty drunk."
"Yeah I could see that, thought he was taking advantage of you..."
"Chanu?" Vin stared at him. " He's my brother -- or at least as close as I had growing up, he'd never hurt me."
"I didn't know that."
Vin smiled.
"Why are you smirking?"
"You really were jealous?"
"Yeah," Chris admitted, "and then that guy showed up at the office and you went to meet with him for lunch."
"Raphael."
"Who is he?"
"You still jealous?"
"Hell, he was all over you in that restaurant."
"That's just his way, besides, ain't no way I'd be with him either -- especially since him and Chanu have been together for years."
"Together -- like us?"
Vin smiled again. " Way ahead of us, lover..."
"Hell."
"That wouldn't be hard, we ain't hardly done anything yet." Vin's voice was soft -- and suggestive.
"You mean there's more?" Chris teased, knowing full well that they had barely scratched the surface.
"Oh yeah," Vin breathed out as he arched against Chris's firm body, rubbing his cock against the matching hardness he found, and he reached around and caressed Chris's ass.
"Lots more."
Chris moaned out his frustration and he gently pushed Vin back. "And you're still not up to it."
Vin growled low in his throat, "wanna bet?"
"No, and I don't want you to hurt yourself either."
Vin breathed out a huff of air and frowned. "You are one stubborn son-of-a-bitch, Larabee."
"And?"
"Shit."
"But I do owe you one for last night..."
"Ain't no balance sheet here, Chris," Vin sighed. "You don't have'ta..."
Chris cut him off. "I want to. Last night was amazing, Vin, you made me feel like I haven't felt in a very long time -- not just the sex either, you made me feel like I was loved and I never thought I would feel like that again."
Their eyes met again and held as the words sank in.
"I love you Vin," Chris whispered, "and that's not just for today -- I want you with me forever."
Vin stared into the depths of Chris's eyes and knew that he meant every word. He nodded and let out another deep breath.
"I guess that we can wait a bit then." His words were a sharp contrast to the message his body was telling Chris.
"We could -- but right now I want see what it's like."
Before Vin could ask what he meant, Chris moved, enveloping him in a gentle hug as he began an exploration of Vin's body.
It didn't take long for Chris to find which spots made Vin giggle and which sent him arching up off the mattress. His fingers, lips, and tongue were moving in unison to drive Vin closer and closer to the edge. When he finally reached his straining shaft and took a first tentative lick, Vin nearly bucked right off the bed.
"Easy there," Chris soothed, then, without any additional warning he took Vin's cock into his mouth.
It was something he'd never thought to do -- ever -- but after Vin had taken him in last night he realized that he could -- and would -- do the same for the younger man. What he hadn't realized at the time was that he would like it. That the act of giving such pleasure to the man he loved made all the difference, and he realized, even as he sucked and licked and teased, that those other things that he never thought he'd do were suddenly on his to do list. He was starting to look forward to the coming weeks and months and the new experiences they would bring.
+ + + + + + +
When Chris woke again it was nearly noon. He slipped out of bed and, after a quick stop in the bath, headed to the kitchen.
The coffee was dripping and he was rummaging through the refrigerator when he realized that he wasn't alone. He turned, expecting to see Vin but found Buck standing in the doorway instead.
Buck took one look at Chris and grinned.
"What are you smirking at, Buck?" Chris glared, realizing that he'd been caught unaware.
"Well, stud," Buck chortled, "from your lack of clothing and the marks on your neck, I'd say that you got lucky last night -- and that you forgot about the picnic we planned for Josiah's birthday."
"Is that today?" Chris snapped out, his mind whirling as he tried to remember just exactly when the rest of the men might be arriving. "And I have clothes on..." he added defensively.
He was wearing a ratty pair of sweats -- and nothing else.
"Yeah, I can see that." Buck teased, "so is she still here?" He moved towards the hall as if he was getting ready to go take a peek.
Chris groaned. The world as he knew it was about to end -- and he still had bed head.
Before either man could say anything more Vin shuffled into the room.
+ + + + + + +
He was vaguely aware when Chris got up and left the room, but Vin was feeling so cozy and content that he dropped back into a light sleep. When he woke again, he could detect the aroma of coffee drifting in from the kitchen.
He stretched, and still only half awake, rose and pulled on a pair of Chris's sweats before heading towards the beckoning smell.
The last thing he expected when he arrived in the kitchen was to find Buck leaning against the table with an enormous grin on his face.
"Oh, shit," Vin muttered under his breath as he met Chris's eyes.
+ + + + + + +
When Vin appeared in the doorway, everything suddenly clicked into place and Buck's grin grew even wider.
"Aha," he pronounced happily, "a matching set of bruises -- mystery solved."
"Buck," Chris growled.
"Well, hell, Chris, it's about time you two got some."
Vin watched, unsure of how either Buck or Chris would react to the situation, although so far, Buck didn't seem to be upset -- more amused than anything.
Chris looked at Vin, wondering how he would feel about Buck's presence, and the fact that they had just been caught.
There was nearly a full minute of dead silence as the three men each assessed the others.
It was Buck who broke first.
"Look, Vin, Chris, you know that it don't matter to me -- well, it matters that you are both happy, but, hell, you know what I mean."
Chris finally found his voice again. "Yeah, I know that Buck, it's just that this is pretty new and I guess we, or maybe, I, just wasn't quite ready to announce it to the world just yet..." He looked at Vin, unsure, still, whether or not he would be upset -- by Buck knowing or by his own hesitation.
Vin met his eyes and Chris found only trust and understanding -- and maybe a bit of amusement.
Chris nodded and turned back to the counter. "Coffee?"
"Sounds good to me," Vin sighed as he crossed the room to take a steaming mug.
"Me, too," Buck added, "but I think I ought to remind you that the rest of the guys will be here any time now."
Vin looked up in shock nearly spilling his coffee.
"Josiah's birthday," Chris offered, "and I forgot too, probably a good thing Buck showed up when he did..."
Chris and Vin headed up the hall to get dressed, leaving Buck to start setting up for the party. When they reached the bedroom Chris pulled Vin into a hug.
"God, I'm sorry, I completely forgot."
"'S'Okay, Chris, I sure as hell didn't remember." Vin hesitated for a moment. "Guess we're both outed, least as far as Buck goes."
Chris hugged him tighter. "Yeah, but you know what, it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be -- you know, thinking about this for the last couple weeks, wondering what they would think."
"No guarantee that the others will be so understanding," Vin offered.
Chris thought about the other four men and guessed that they would be all right, but at the same time he decided that even if one, or some of them had issues, they would work it out. They were a team and, more than that, they were a family of sorts -- maybe a weird, dysfunctional one, but one that would support each other when push came to shove.
They dressed and just before they left the room, Vin turned to Chris.
"So, do we tell them?"
Chris shrugged, and nodded. "Might as well."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, kinda makes sense, get it out and we won't have it hanging over our heads -- you know, always wondering if someone will figure it out..."
"Or walk in on a Sunday morning and catch us."
They both smiled at that as they headed back to the kitchen.
+ + + + + + +
As it turned out, most of the men had already begun to suspect the truth - and a couple of them may have figured out what was coming before either Chris or Vin. The others, as Chris had suspected, although surprised, took the news in stride and by the end of the day, the teams equilibrium was so close to normal that they were all teasing the new couple.
On Monday the team went back to work -- business as usual.
Epilogue
Several months later.It was a perfect fall day, and it was Saturday and, after the conclusion of a tough case, the team had partied late at Inez's the evening before.
Now, getting a slightly later start than they had planned, Vin and Chris rode out into the sparkling sunlight.
Pony and Peso were feeling frisky after being "ignored" for the past few weeks, so Chris and Vin made up for some of the lost time spent sleeping in by giving the horses their heads for an exhilarating race across the landscape.
Once their mounts slowed to a brisk walk, the two men relaxed back, enjoying the peace and quiet, interrupted only by the sound of the horse’s hooves on the hard-packed earth.
Both men were aware that this was the first time, since that fateful spring day, that they were heading up the trail to that meadow where the events that led to their current relationship had begun.
And, while the relationship had become so much more than either had imagined, those weeks last spring had been some of the hardest either man had ever endured.
Neither man mentioned that fact, but neither was it far from their minds as they neared the clearing.
Vin stole a quick glance at Chris and realized that, as usual, their thoughts were in tune.
Chris caught Vin's look and the question in his eyes and broke the silence. "You sure you don't want to pick a different spot?"
Vin pondered a moment and smiled gently. "Nah, kinda got a soft spot for that meadow."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Vin paused, sighing as he lifted his face to the warm sun filtering through the leaves. "It was where we had our "first kiss"."
Chris shook his head in amazement. "Hell of a first kiss."
Vin smiled again. "Yeah, well, you never seem to do anything the easy way, Larabee."
"I'll show you easy, Tanner," Chris growled, the threat discounted by the smile on his face.
"Y' wouldn't know easy if it bit you on the ass," Vin taunted as he kicked Peso into a canter, leaving Chris behind as he raced down the path.
+ + + + + + +
Chris arrived at the clearing to find their picnic spread out on the log where they had eaten the last time, but no sign of Vin.
Peso was contentedly munching on the deep grasses near the pond so Chris dismounted, pulled his pack and saddle off Pony and sent him to join his stable-mate.
He knew that Vin was nearby, not by any of his ordinary senses, but by that special Vin radar that he'd had almost from their first meeting. He also knew that until Vin was ready to be found, there wasn't any point in his looking for him, so he settled down on a soft, shaded spot and waited.
It was only a few minutes later, almost as soon a he'd closed his eyes that Chris knew that Vin was there.
And only moments after that when the soft touch of Vin's hand on his cheek brought his eyes open.
How he could get there, so close, without making a sound was still a puzzle that he doubted he'd ever figure out.
"Hey." Chris's voice was barely a whisper as Vin's hand caressed him, moving gently down the side of his face as Vin leaned in to kiss him. His eyes closed as his own lips parted in preparation for the feel of the sweet pressure of Vin's lips joining his -- He waited.
Waited and--nothing.
"What?" he asked, opening his eyes to find Vin's face mere inches away -- but he wasn't moving any closer.
Vin's eyes opened wide. "Y' ain't gonna hit me, are ya?"
Then Vin grinned and moved forward those last few fractions of an inch.
Chris opened to the soft pressure on his lips, moaning softly. No matter how many ways they'd found to make love over the past months, the feel of Vin's kiss was still one of his favorite sensations.
The day was warm and they had all the time they could want to make love in the shade, while the horses grazed and the hawks soared above.
Yep, it was a perfect fall afternoon.
End