by Flaw

A Thanksgiving story

Disclaimer: If I owned them they'd still be on the air for everyone to enjoy.

Notes: A semi-possible-maybe prequel.

Feedback is appreciated...worshipped even. :)

I’m doing this thing called angry.

The sight of his face this morning, when I went in the room for my coffee, was another coal I could throw on the fire. And during the meeting, when he asked me for the building sketches, yeah, he wasn’t polite enough, or I wasn’t ready enough to hear his voice, because it didn’t help, and I think the rest of the team was just about ready to head for the hills for when the whole pot boiled over.

But they stayed, like the good friends they are, and I managed to get myself back from a raging boil to an angry simmer.

It always comes back to angry.

It’s not even something I’m used to. And of the boys could tell you that. They know I’m usually pretty laid back. I let everything roll over me. Always have, and I thought I always would. But if they knew, I think they’d be right there with me. Only I can’t tell them, because even though I’m angry he can still get me to promise me the world, and this is something best kept to myself anyway. So I’m enduring their guarded looks over coffee cups and around computer screens, while he gets to sit in his cozy little office and play the good guy.

Because even if it is his fault I’m angry, they still know that he’s not going to bite their heads off for dropping a pencil (sorry JD) or talking too loudly on the phone (sorry Buck) or hovering all the way across the room (sorry Nathan) or praying under his breath (sorry Josiah) or whatever it was that Ezra did that set me off and I’m not too sure right now, so sorry anyway Ez.

You see, I’ve got an excuse, a darn good reason for being angry.

It all started a couple weeks back. Chris and I and all the boys were out at the ranch, like we usually are to celebrate busts that went well, or birthdays, or just because most of us don’t have anyone else and really appreciate the company. And of course, Chris and I got to talking while the others were watching the game, sitting out on his front porch, watching the sunset like we’re usually doing.

And yeah, I’ve told Chris a lot of personal things, and I didn’t have any reason not to tell him anything. So of course I opened my fool mouth and mentioned something about when I was a little kid.

We’d had Thanksgiving not but a week earlier, and all of us went around and said what we were thankful for: women (Buck), computers and a certain brown haired beauty (JD-and no, I’m not talking about his horse), God and good friends (Josiah), relative good health over the past year (Nathan), and I think Ez might have said he was thankful for Maude but none of us could really make out what was coming out his mouth and it lasted so long that I thought Josiah was going to pass out in the mashed potatoes. Nettie and Casey were there too, as well as Mary and Billy, and everyone had real nice things to say about the meal and the company. Chris didn’t say he was thankful for anything, but we all know he’s thankful for the friends and the light that seems to be coming back into his life. I keep pushing Mary at him, and I think that some day soon he might actually take the hint.

I said I was thankful for having good folks to celebrate with, but of course, that next week on the porch, I just had to go and clarify myself to the man that I thought I could trust with my life.

And now, I’m not so sure.

You see, I happened to mention to him that I might just have family out there still, only hadn’t gotten up the nerve to go and find out.

I might just still have a pa.

And Chris, well, I never would have thought it, but the man had to miss the point and do something about it. I was only trying to tell him that he and the boys were the family I’d never really had, the family I knew would never leave me. But he up and took that as an invitation to meddle under the excuse of making my happy. I think he must have roped in JD for the computer work and Ezra for a few harder to find things, but he up and found my pa.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so angry.

Yeah, I tease him about Mary, and I do my best to see them going out for lunch or taking Billy to the zoo or whatever, but it’s not like I’m pushing him to marry the woman…well, not just yet anyway, I ain’t sure I’m ready to be a groomsman. And all that’s not at all the same as hunting down a feller’s long lost father and giving him directions to the Federal Building.

So not only do I have to meet my father for the first time, but I have to meet him in front of the boys. And I have to do it today unless I can figure out how to make it past Ezra for the fire escape, who has already given me enough pointed looks to ensure me the boss has got him covering that exit.

I suppose Chris’s only doing it for my benefit, incase he turns out to be the psychopath I’m thinking he must be for deserting me and my ma, but I really don’t need to air that all out in front of the office. I really don’t want to be meeting the man at all.

So I’m angry at Chris for going behind my back and…

And trying to give me something more to be thankful for.

Well I’m not saying thanks.

Not just yet, anyway.

The End