Sixth story in the Second Chances series.
Follows Pride and Prejudice
Author´s Note: After putting our pair through so much trouble, I thought it was time to give them a little break. Thank you to LaraMee for the title collage. I love it!
"Mr. Larabee, might I have a moment of your time?"The blond nodded toward an empty chair and waited for the gambler to sit before offering him a drink. "What's on your mind, Ezra?"
"I find myself facing a bit of a dilemma, and I could use some advice." Emerald eyes filled with hope when he saw Chris look at him in curiosity.
"You're coming to me for advice? You must be desperate," Larabee commented with a half-smile.
"Actually, I need your experience to answer a question or two for me, if you would be inclined to do so," Standish hedged slightly.
"You knew I would be too curious to say no if you put it like that, didn't you?" The gunman sighed and shook his head in mild exasperation.
"I had hoped that would be the outcome." Ezra blushed slightly at being found out so easily.
"What is it you need?"
"You are aware that the Travises extended an invitation for me to join Mary and Billy for a holiday visit," Ezra said, but at the same time raised an eyebrow in question.
"I knew that."
"Mr. Larabee, my past is something I try to keep private, but you have met my mother. I don't think it would take much imagination on your part to deduce what my childhood was like." The southerner fidgeted under the green-eyed gaze of the unofficial leader of their band of peacekeepers.
"I doubt that it was much like a normal upbringing," Chris responded.
"Ah, and there you have hit the proverbial nail on the head. I have no idea what normal is," the gambler confessed. "I need to know what to expect when we go to the Travis'… I have never experienced a traditional family Christmas," he added softly.
"Ezra, that's something that is different from one home to another. I have no idea what to tell you."
"I understand that you would not know exactly what I should expect, but I had hoped you could tell me about some of the normal activities I could possibly encounter."
"You know that I don't pry into your past," Larabee commented. "But, it would help a lot if I knew what Christmas was like for you."
The gambler sighed and considered the request. The only Christmas that had been anything that might remotely resemble normal was the one he got to share with Julia, and by that time she was already too ill to participate in any festivities. They had spent it at home, alone. Julia's parents had sent a nice meal to them, and they had stopped in to see her later that evening. No, he couldn't tell him about Julia. Maybe someday he could, but not yet.
"The only time I had any chance to participate in any aspect of the holiday was if my mother was working a con, and then I was so focused on my part that it was simply another role she expected me to play." The sadness was evident even to his own ears. He really hadn't realized just how much he had missed having the kind of life that other people just took for granted.
"How did you spend Christmas when you weren't trying to con someone?" Chris asked. "Didn't your mother ever do anything to make it special?"
Ezra shook his head and looked down at his hands in his lap. "Mr. Larabee, if I was not assisting with a con, I was left with any distant relation who would tolerate my presence. If none of them would have me, I would sometimes be left with one of mother's friends."
"You didn't get to have Christmas with any of these people either?" The blond could not comprehend how someone could reach Ezra's age and not experience a real Christmas.
"No, not really. On a few occasions I was given a small gift, but my suspicion is that it was more for appearance's sake than any genuine wish to include me in their holiday. Most of the ones I was left with didn't do much to celebrate, but what they did do usually didn't include me." The gambler paused and gathered his thoughts. "Mr. Larabee, I am not seeking sympathy. We have no control over our pasts, but I don't want to do something inappropriate. My position with the Judge is very precarious."
"You'll do all right. You have Evie on your side," Chris said in an effort to reassure the anxious gambler. "Are you sure you want me to tell you? Some people might look at it as an attempt to con the judge into thinking you're a different person than you are."
"Of course I am concerned about how things will look to the Judge, but honestly, he is not my main concern. Billy is." Ezra paused and took a steadying breath. "Since I didn't get to experience Christmas as a child, I have no idea what makes the day so special for children, and I want to be sure that I don't ruin it for Billy. You're the only one of us who has been a father…" He let his voice trail off. It was a tough subject to broach with Chris considering the circumstances, and he hoped he hadn't dug up too many painful memories for the older man.
"What would have made the day special for you when you were Billy's age?" the blond asked.
The gambler frowned as he considered the question. "I would have been happy if my mother had just wanted to spend the day with me," he confessed.
"That's it," Chris acknowledged. "Ezra, Christmas isn't about buying gifts and going to parties. Josiah would be the best one to talk to about the church parts of the holiday, but beyond that, it's about family and friends. Just being there with Mary and Billy is what is important." A flash of grief clouded his eyes as he thought back to the time when he still had his family with him.
"I would like to be able to make it a memorable time for Billy. After the upset he experienced when Mrs. Travis brought him home, I want this to be a happy time for him."
Chris offered Ezra a refill from the bottle he had sitting between them on the table. "All right, I'll tell you some about how Christmas was when I was growing up. Maybe that will help a little."
"Thank you, Mr. Larabee. I would be most appreciative."
Ezra sighed heavily and stared blankly at the array of gift possibilities on the shelves at Mrs. Potter's store. He had given gifts before, but there had been only one other person in his life, until now, that he wanted the perfect gift for. He had no idea what to choose for the Judge and Mrs. Travis. It was tough enough trying to decide what to get for Mary and Billy.
The bell on the door jingled drawing the gambler's attention. He smiled warmly at the young man who entered. "Good afternoon, Mr. Dunne."
"Hey, Ezra." JD practically bounced with excitement.
"You seem in an extraordinarily good mood today," the southerner observed.
"Just got my pay and I want to find a Christmas present for Casey while I still have some money," the younger man replied. "I just don't have any idea what to get her."
"I find myself facing a similar dilemma," Standish admitted. "Only multiplied by four."
"Yeah, I sure don't envy you tryin' to come up with an idea for the Judge."
"The Honorable Judge Travis is only part of the problem. I am also at a loss as to the appropriate gifts for the remaining members of the Travis family," Ezra said with a sigh.
"You mean Mary and Billy, too?" When he saw the gambler nod, he continued. "Don't know about Mary, but Billy should be easy to buy for. All you gotta do is buy something you would have liked when you were his age."
"If only it were that simple, Mr. Dunne. But I had very little time to play as a child; therefore what I would have liked is of little consequence."
The young sheriff looked at the toys on the shelves. There really wasn't much to choose from, but something would surely be suitable. He picked up a nice slingshot but quickly dismissed it as an option. Mary would never approve of it. On the shelf above it, he noticed a small pocketknife. He had been about Billy's age when he got his first one.
"What about this, Ezra?" He held the small knife out to the gambler.
"I really don't believe that Mary would appreciate me giving him something that has the potential to cause injury," Standish responded.
JD nodded his understanding. "Mothers usually don't," he admitted. "It's usually a boy's pa that decides when he's old enough for somethin' like this. But if a boy don't have a pa then sometimes someone else has t' help make sure he gets a chance to grow up."
"I am afraid I don't quite follow you," the southerner responded, his brows knit together in thought.
"Well, like me. I didn't have a pa to make sure Ma let me grow up. If she'd had her way, I would never have touched a real knife, or a gun, or a lot of other things. I was lucky though. The man who was in charge of the stables for the family my ma worked for treated us both like we were his own family. He was the closest thing I had to a real grandfather. Old Tom always made sure I got to do the things a growin' boy should get to do." There was a deep sadness in his voice as he spoke of his mother and Old Tom. Christmas was an especially hard time of the year for him, because it was filled with so many memories of his ma. This year was easier than the last one though. He had friends to share the day with, and he had Casey.
After replacing the knife, he picked up a small burlap bag and heard the telltale click of marbles hitting against each other. JD grinned and emptied a few of the objects into his hands. "Ya know, ya just can't go wrong with marbles. Every boy I ever knew loved to play with marbles."
The two men worked their way through the meager choices that Mrs. Potter had to offer, with JD explaining the pros and cons of each one. Ezra was determined to give Mrs. Potter his business, but there really was so little choice. At last, he decided that he would get some of what he needed from her, and then he would do a little shopping once he got to the Judge's and had a chance to check the larger stores there.
JD had finally decided on a new cane-fishing pole for Casey. He had blushed when he had asked for a length of the pretty red ribbon that he found with the sundries. When he saw Ezra looking at him with one brow raised in question and a knowing smile on his lips, he turn even redder. "Sometimes she has t' dress up, and I thought it would look pretty in her hair," he explained.
"Indeed it will, Mr. Dunne. I think you have made a very wise choice. The red against her dark hair will be quite lovely," the southerner agreed.
Ezra made his way to the ladies' section of the store, still searching for gifts for Mary and Evie. He had settled for the bag of marbles for Billy, but the women were going to be hard to choose for. When he had nearly given up searching, he caught a glimpse of something pale blue and white and twisted around to look through the glass case from a different angle. Finally, he gave up and signaled to Gloria Potter for assistance.
"Whew!" JD said admiringly. "That's really nice, Ezra. I bet Mary would love that."
Ezra smiled wistfully. "It matches the blue in her eyes." He looked back up at Mrs. Potter and grinned, showing his dimples. "Would you wrap this for me please?"
A little more digging and the gambler had found one gift for each of the four he would be spending Christmas with. Just when he thought he had exhausted all the possibilities, his attention was drawn to the shelves of books on one wall. It wasn't a huge selection, but out here where there was little to read for those who liked to indulge in the act, it was a welcome sight. He felt like he knew all the titles of all the books she had for sale, since he regularly checked for any new titles she might have added. What caught his eye today was a new book on the top shelf.
Gloria moved to look over his shoulder to see what he had found. "That is a wonderful book. The stories and rhymes are a lot of fun. The children's father used to read to them every night from a book similar to that and they loved it. It was their special time with him."
Ezra was sold on the book when he first looked at the contents page, but if he hadn't been, Gloria's enthusiasm and the story about Mr. Potter would have convinced him. "With a glowing recommendation like that, how could I possibly leave without making one last purchase?"
A few minutes later, with parcels in hand, the two men parted company. JD headed back toward the boarding house and Ezra went straight to the saloon. When the southerner reached the sanctuary of his room, he made himself comfortable and settled into the rocking chair near the oil lamp and started thumbing through the book he had picked up. As he read he tried to imagine one of his stepfathers or other relatives reading to him, and he found it impossible to summon up the pictures in his mind. But he smiled when the picture of Mr. Potter reading to his children popped into his mind, completely unbidden. He continued to smile as he rocked and read until well past dark.
+ + + + + + +
"Are you certain you have everything you require?" Ezra asked as he lugged the heavy bag of Mary's out onto the boardwalk, while Mary carried the smaller, lighter bag that held Billy's things.
"I can't think of anything else. Why? Do you think I forgot something?" She looked at the expression of disbelief on the gambler's face and realized he had been being sarcastic. "Oh…well, if you don't think I have enough I can go back and add a few more things. I do have some books I could take."
Ezra chuckled and grinned, showing his dimples. "I do believe your ploy is to break my back so that I can't go slipping off to find a game of chance."
"You promised…" Mary began.
"And I intend to keep my promise. I know how important this trip is to you, but remember we did agree that I could find a game a couple times while we are there. It isn't often that I get into one of the larger towns for a chance at some real competition," the gambler reminded her.
"I wouldn't dream of trying to keep you away from the game tables for the entire time we are there, but you said you would wait until after Christmas. That's all I ask." She paused and considered her next words. "I just don't want to see anyone's Christmas ruined, and losing at cards could cause that to happen to some families if their men don't use some common sense."
The southerner stopped and turned to look at the pretty blonde at his side. "You really are softhearted under that strong, almost ruthless image you have created for yourself."
"The same could be said for you." She smiled at his mild look of shock. "You don't fool me anymore."
"Yes, well…in my line of work the image I present can be what keeps me alive and in one piece," he said, somewhat flustered.
"Under it all you are truly a good and compassionate man; but don't worry, I won't tell on you," Mary commented. She had to laugh at the look of relief that passed over the gambler's face.
The couple stopped next to the stagecoach and handed the bags to the driver who set them on top of the coach with the others. They didn't move to get inside, not wanting to be cooped up any sooner than necessary.
"How long before you are ready to get underway?" Ezra asked.
"'Bout five minutes," the driver replied. "Y'all should go ahead an' load up."
Mary looked around for Billy and saw him a short way down the boardwalk with Chris. "Billy! Time to go!"
"Look what Chris gave me," the boy said excitedly as he skidded to a stop at his mother's side. He held up his hands to show off his treasure. "This one is even better than the last one."
"It's beautiful. Did you tell him thank you?"
"Uh huh," the boy replied, before babbling on. "Now I got two horses and I can play with 'em together."
"That's wonderful." Mary hugged her son to her side and watched the black clad gunman approach. "Thank you, Chris."
Larabee acknowledged her words with a nod. He half-smiled and winked at Billy as he reached out to tousle the boy's hair. "I wanted to give him something for Christmas."
"Time's a wastin' folks. Y'all goin' or stayin'?" the stage driver asked impatiently.
"You three better load up before he leaves without you." Chris nodded toward the driver, while giving him a warning glare that dared the man to even try it. "Come on, Billy; let me help you." He scooped the child up and lifted him into the stage. "You be good."
"I will!"
Ezra stepped forward to help Mary into the stagecoach and then turned back to face Larabee. His expression changed to one of surprise when he looked past the man to see that the rest of the men had joined him.
"We couldn't let ya leave without sayin' good-bye," Vin offered. "You'd best stay outta trouble. Ya won't have us there t' watch yer back."
"I will do my best to heed your advice, Mr. Tanner." He extended his hand to the sharpshooter, who shook it firmly before stepping aside to let the next man say his farewell.
After everyone else had said goodbye, amid much well wishing, hand shaking, and arm slapping, the gambler turned back to their leader. "Thank you, Mr. Larabee. I appreciate all you have done to assist me in preparing for this excursion."
Chris extended his hand and took Ezra's in a firm grip as the two men locked eyes. The southerner let out a small gasp when he looked into the gunman's intense green eyes and once again experienced first-hand the silent communication Chris and Vin shared. It was an unsettling experience and not one he thought he cared to experience on a regular basis.
"Glad I could help," Larabee said. But what Ezra heard was, 'Keep them safe or you'll answer to me.'
The gambler nodded slightly to acknowledge the unspoken warning and moved to take his place beside Mary in the coach. When the stage jerked into motion, Billy scrambled from his seat on the other side of his mother and climbed onto Ezra's lap so he could lean out the window to wave goodbye
Ezra watched the older woman across from him pull her coat tighter around her and shiver. He got the impression that she probably hadn't ever traveled by stage during the colder months. The woman gasped and eyed him suspiciously when he slipped from his place to reach past her legs for something under her seat. He pulled out an old quilt. "I didn't mean to startle you." He smiled reassuringly as he spread the heavy blanket out over her.
The woman relaxed and looked at him sheepishly. "I had no idea this was under there," she said as she pulled the blanket closer around her. "Thank you. I rode all day yesterday, freezing. The gentleman across from me had a blanket, but I thought he had probably brought it with him."
The southerner frowned. "The man was no gentleman if he left you shivering while he kept himself warm."
"He probably thought, if I was dumb enough not to get out a blanket, then I deserved to be cold," she commented.
"No one deserves to be cold." He glance over to where Mary leaned against the opposite wall with Billy curled up against her. The two had dozed on and off throughout the day, lulled by the rocking motion of the stage. All three of them had dressed warmly, knowing very well how cold the ride would be, especially with no physical exertion to help keep them warm.
"I haven't ever traveled alone before. My son always brought his family home for Christmas, but after my husband died, he just couldn't face this Christmas there without his father." Her voice quivered slightly, and she took a deep steadying breath before she continued. "It wasn't going to seem right to me either, not having Amos there, so Sam paid for me to come to them this year. Besides, it makes more sense this way. It is easier for one person to make the trip than for six."
"That is true. You and your son must be close for him to have brought the entire family to visit every Christmas, and for you to make this trip alone now."
The woman nodded. "Sam's an only child, and I am afraid Amos and I doted on him too much sometimes. Are you going to visit family?"
"Their family." Ezra nodded toward Mary and Billy.
"That's nice. Won't you get to see your family too?"
"I have no family that will miss me." He felt smaller gloved fingers wrap around his own, and he glanced toward Mary to see her watching him. Carefully, to keep from waking Billy, she shifted around so she could lean against his side, snug in the protective circle of his arm.
"We'd miss you, if you hadn't come with us," Mary said sleepily as she settled her head against his shoulder.
Ezra hugged her closer. A feeling of peace and contentment washed over him, brought on by her simple admission, and he knew there was nowhere on earth that he would rather be than right where he was. Along with that feeling came the realization that at last he knew what home really was. It wasn't a building or a piece of land. It was that place in your heart, that special feeling that only being with the ones you love can create, and as long as you're all together, home is wherever you are.
"Grandpa!" Billy squealed from the window of the stage as it rattled to a halt. The door had barely opened before he jumped out to be caught by Orin Travis.
Ezra stepped down after Billy and turned to offer his hand to Mary to help her down. While she was occupied greeting Evie and the Judge, he turned to offer his assistance to their traveling companion.
"Grandma!" A chorus of children's voices greeted the older woman when she stepped from the stage, and she found herself engulfed by a tangle of small arms all trying to hug her at once.
"Oh, my goodness, how you have all grown. Stand back and let me get a look at you." The four youngsters stepped away slightly while their grandmother hugged each one in turn and fussed over how beautiful, or handsome, he or she had become during the past several months.
Ezra smiled to see her son hug her tightly and then continue to hold her close, both reluctant to let go as they each drew a little strength from the other's presence. He finally tore his attention away from their reunion when he heard someone speaking to him.
"I'll help you with the bags," Orin offered, and he started picking up part of the luggage. "I sent the women and Billy on ahead to get warm."
"Thank you, Judge Travis. I appreciate the assistance." The gambler glanced down the street curiously. "I'll drop my own things off at the hotel since we must pass it on the way, if you don't mind a momentary delay."
"The hotel? Nonsense; you'll be staying with us," the Judge insisted.
"I wouldn't presume to intrude on your family in such a manner," Ezra objected. "But, I am grateful for the thought."
"You are staying with us," Travis repeated. "Evie would be hurt if you refused."
"That wasn´t my intention. I simply did not want to presume too much from the invitation to join Mary and Billy here," Ezra explained. "This has to be awkward for you."
"It won't lie and say it won't seem strange to see them with you instead of Steven. You'd see through that in a heartbeat," Orin confessed. "But, my son is gone, and I still see Mary as a daughter, not simply my grandson's mother. She is too young to end up spending the rest of her life as a widow, and if I'm totally honest with myself, I know that Steven wouldn't have wanted her to grow old alone. It was inevitable that she would move on with her life and become involved with someone."
"But you didn't expect it to be someone like me."
"No, I didn't." The Judge paused a moment to consider his next words. "I know I made things really hard on both of you, but I know now that I have to trust her judgment if I don't want to lose Billy and her completely." He glanced over at the gambler and continued. "I believe that she sees you for who you really are, even those deep, secret parts that you keep hidden from everyone else. She trusts and loves the real Ezra Standish, and she gives neither lightly."
"I know she doesn't, and neither do I," the southerner said. "Mary is a very special woman."
"Yes, she is," the Judge agreed. "I hope someday you will trust Evie and me enough to let us get to know you better."
Evie had been watching for them and opened the door when she saw them. "After you two put the bags upstairs, come on out to the kitchen. I am making a special treat to warm everyone up."
Orin led the way up to the bedrooms and nodded toward the door to the first room. "That room is Evie's and mine. Mary and Billy will be in here." He led the way into a nicely furnished room. "There is a trundle under the bed for Billy, or he can sleep with her. Which of these are theirs?"
"This big one and that smaller one." Ezra indicated the large one he carried and Billy's bag that the Judge had.
"You'll be over here across the hall. I am afraid the room isn't as big as the other one, but the bed is comfortable and there is a chest and a small closet for your things. Billy usually stays in here." Travis sat down the other small valise he had been carrying, while the southerner deposited a second small bag nearby.
"Judge, are you sure about me staying here? I don't want to displace Billy from his customary room, or make you uncomfortable."
"I'm sure, and call me Orin. There are times and places for formality, but here and now isn't one of them. Come on, I'll show you where to put your coat, and then let's go see what Evie has for us."
The rich aroma of chocolate greeted them when they entered the kitchen a few minutes later. The elder Mrs. Travis was just setting the steaming cups on the table.
"I hope you like cocoa, Ezra."
"I love it. I haven't had hot cocoa in years." He picked up his cup and inhaled deeply. After a cautious sip, he wrapped his hands around the warm mug, savoring the warmth against his cold fingers. "Thank you. This is truly a real treat, and thank you for having me in your home."
Evie smiled knowingly. "How much trouble did you give him about staying here?" she asked as she nodded toward her husband.
The gambler blushed. "I fear that I did offer some resistance."
"I thought you would; that is why I had Orin stop at the hotel earlier and tell them not to hold a room for you. I just knew you had wired ahead for a room." The older woman smiled triumphantly.
"You had them give away my room?" Standish asked in amazement. He looked at Mary in question. "Is she always this determined?"
"You haven't seen her get really determined yet," Mary warned.
"I don't call it determined," Orin added. "I call it stubborn."
"And you are going to get to see it in action too," Evie warned her husband. "After everyone finishes their cocoa, I want you all to clear out so I can fix supper. I know all you had was what you packed to eat in the coach and whatever you could get at the hotel last night, so I have a big meal planned."
"Fried chicken?" Billy asked hopefully.
"Of course," his grandmother answered and reached out to tickle him in the ribs, making him squeal with laughter. "One of these days you're going to sprout feathers and learn to cackle."
A little later they all found themselves ostracized from the kitchen despite Mary's insistence on helping with the meal. "You can help tomorrow if you want to, but tonight, you just rest up from the trip."
The evening had been pleasant and uneventful. The meal was excellent and Ezra was amazed to see the volume of food one small boy could consume when it happened to be his grandma's fried chicken and biscuits with milk gravy.
While Mary sat and chatted with Evie, who still refused to let the younger woman help her clean up after dinner, the men retired to the sitting room to talk and have a brandy. Billy crawled up on his grandfather's lap and drifted off to sleep. The long cold trip topped off with warmth, good food, and the deep rumble of Orin's voice as the men talked had overtaken the child within minutes.
Ezra had to admit that he found his own eyes growing heavy, and he struggled to stay awake. A glance at the mantle clock had him listening intently for its telltale ticking, because it surely must have stopped. It was far too early for him to be this tired. He nearly jumped when it began to chime the hour, and he felt he must have answered much too eagerly when Evie suggested that they all get some sleep.
The southerner carried Billy up to Mary's room and waited while she turned down the covers. "I'm going to put him in with me so he'll be warmer," she whispered. When Ezra laid him down, she tugged off his outside clothes and left him in his heavy winter underwear and socks then covered him with the heavy down-filled comforter.
Once her son was settled, she turned back to Ezra. "Thank you, for coming here with me. Billy needs the time with his grandparents, but I couldn't have come and left you there alone." She held up a hand to still the comment she knew was coming. "I know Chris and the others were there, but you know what I mean."
"I can't imagine being there without you for three weeks. It would have seemed like an eternity," he responded softly. Half a step brought him close enough to pull her into his arms. Encouraged by her contented sigh when his lips brushed against the side of her throat, he kissed his way up to her jaw and then across to her lips. She melted into his arms as her body responded to the touch of his lips. Her lips parted, inviting him to deepen the kiss, and he didn't need a second invitation. His hands slid down to cup her bottom and press her firmly against him as he pressed his hardening manhood against her. Suddenly, he broke the kiss and looked first at the sleeping child and then at the open door. He groaned softly as he rested his forehead against hers. "It is going to be a long three weeks."
Mary smiled at him conspiratorially and then whispered close to his ear, her warm breath causing shivers of desire to course through his body. "We'll find a way."
Ezra moaned and gasped from the effect her breath was having on him, combined with her words of promise. Reluctantly, he gave her one last quick kiss and then drew away from her. "Darlin', get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."
He pulled her door shut behind him and crossed the hall to his own room, glad for the darkness in the hall that hid the state he was in if his hosts happened to catch sight of him. His door clicked shut and he leaned back against it when he made it to the privacy of his room. The ache of his need was so strong that he found himself rubbing his erection through his clothes. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to take his hand away, and quickly undressed in the chilly room, opting to keep his underclothes on for the warmth they provided.
The bed was cold when he first crawled in it, but quickly warmed from his body heat. His groin still ached for relief and trying to ignore it or turn his mind to other thoughts did no good. Finally, he gave up and snaked one arm out from the warmth of the covers to fish into the pocket of his jacket that he had hung on the bedpost and retrieved his handkerchief. At the same time the other hand was already working itself into the opening in the front of his long underwear to stroke himself. He shivered at the first contact of his cold fingers, but the chill was quickly forgotten when he freed himself from the confines of the garment.
The southerner let his mind drift back to the woman sleeping across the hall and had to stifle a groan when his manhood throbbed in reaction. The heavy blankets made it difficult to move freely, so he tried bending his knees and spreading them slightly to keep the covers out of the way. He could still feel the touch of Mary's lips on his and still taste her in his mouth as he let his hand move him closer to the release he needed. Droplets formed at the tip and were quickly used to lubricate his rigid shaft as one hand pumped at its length and the other hand reached beneath it to fondle his sac as he grew nearer to fulfillment. He was only moments away when he grabbed the handkerchief he had left lying on his stomach and held it over the head of his member to catch his seed as it erupted forth, leaving him shaking and gasping for breath.
After a little time to recover and to put his clothes back in order, he carefully folded the handkerchief, making sure the soiled part was folded to the inside and slipped it under his pillow. He would deal with it in the morning, but for now, he rolled onto his side. "It is going to be a very long three weeks," he whispered to the emptiness of the night and then closed his eyes.
Over the next several days, Ezra found himself dragged to various social events - everything ranging from afternoon teas to parties. He hardly had time to think, let alone find any time to slip away for that last minute shopping he had planned to do. Finally, two days before Christmas, he found himself with a free afternoon.
"Where are you going?" Mary asked when she saw him putting on his coat and gloves. "I thought you would be glad for a chance to stay put today."
"I am, but I have something I need to do. I'll try not to be very long." He kissed her lightly and then hurried out the door before she could question him further.
The wind was brisk and Ezra turned up his collar and pulled his coat tighter to keep the wind off his neck. He walked quickly past the Judge's office, hoping that the older man would be engrossed in his work and wouldn't see him walk by the window. A few doors down he ducked into one of the larger shops in town. He paused a moment to remove his gloves and straighten his coat before moving on into the large room.
He made his way over to the area where the toys were displayed. There probably would have been a better selection if he could have made it here a few days sooner, but there was still a fairly good choice. It was pretty easy to pick out something he was sure Billy would like. Even the Judge and Mrs. Travis had been easier to find something for, and he had picked up some extra handkerchiefs for himself. Now he found himself looking for something else for Mary.
A pair of soft kid gloves caught his eye and he picked them up to look them over. They were fur lined and expertly crafted. These would have even satisfied his mother's need for quality. His only concern was the size. He knew from his own experience that gloves that were too tight did little to keep your hands warm.
The shopkeeper had been watching him and hurried to help him when she saw the doubtful look on his face. "May I help you with something," she asked.
"Perhaps," he said hopefully. "I am considering these as a gift, but I am not sure of the size."
"They would make a wonderful gift," she agreed.
"If I may be somewhat forward, you could help me by letting me see your hands," Ezra suggested.
"Of course, if it will help." She held her hands out in front of her and the southerner lifted one so he could place his own flat against her palm, then he tried curling his fingers around hers to hold her hand like he did Mary's. The shopkeeper ducked her head shyly from the attention, but didn't pull away.
"Thank you. I think your hands are pretty close to the same size as hers. Would you try these on for me?" He held out the gloves to her and watched her slip them on. They fit perfectly. He was sure that they wouldn't be too small for Mary, if anything her hands were slightly smaller than the shopkeeper's. "I'll take them."
"Wonderful! Is there anything else I can help you find?"
Ezra thought over his selections and started to shake his head no but then changed his mind. "Yes, there is one other thing I would like to get."
Half an hour later he clutched the neatly wrapped packages as he fought the wind again on his way back to the Travis' house. Once there he opened the door as quietly as possible and then headed straight for the stairs. He thought he had made it without being seen when he nearly collided with Evie on her way out of her room.
"Ah… so that is where you have been," she said softly. "Mary was a little concerned when you just dashed out like you did." She glanced down the stairs when she heard a noise. "You better get those out of sight. I'll cover for you." Before Ezra had a chance to say anything, she was halfway down the steps
…Silent night, Holy night! Son of God, love's pure light Radiant beams from Thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming grace, Jesus Lord at thy birth; Jesus Lord at thy birth.As the carol ended, Ezra smiled. "Ladies, that was beautiful." Love shown clearly in his eyes when he focused on Mary. "How is it that I have never heard you sing before?"
"It has been a long time since I felt like singing," she admitted. "Sometimes I sing to Billy if he can't sleep, but other than that I just hadn't had any reason to."
"You should do it more often," the southerner coaxed. "You have a lovely voice, as do you, Evie," he added.
"For once I have to agree with Ezra," Orin said. "It has been ages since I have heard the two of you sing together. You used to find reasons to sing even without it being a holiday."
Mary blushed at the praise and glanced at Ezra. "It helps when you are happy inside."
"Well, now that you have found your voices again, can we get you to sing another one?" the Judge asked.
"What do you think, Mary?" Evie asked with a wink. "Do you think we should make them join us?"
"I think that would only be fair, don't you?" the young blonde agreed.
"Uhhh… Orin…I think we have been out maneuvered," the gambler observed with a chuckle.
"I gave up trying to stay a step ahead of my wife years ago. I´m not much of a singer as Evie knows, but if they want to torture their ears, I'll join in if you do," the older man challenged.
"I'll sing, if I can choose the song. I am afraid I don't know the words to very many." The southerner looked apologetically at Mary, and silently wished he had had a chance to learn more of the songs Josiah had tried to teach him.
"You start and we'll join in," Evie suggested.
Ezra took a deep breath and started to sing. By the second line, three other voices joined his.
Joy to the world! The Lord is come. Let earth receive her King Let every heart Prepare Him room And Saints and angels sing And Saints and angels sing And Saints and Saints and angels sing…Ezra leaned against the doorframe and watched Mary tuck Billy into bed. The child didn't even stir when she pulled his shoes and outer clothes off. It had been a thoroughly enjoyable evening, and the memories created on this night were going to go with him to the next life after he took his last breath in this one. Now that he knew just what he had been missing out on all these years, he didn't plan to ever miss out again.
Mary finished with Billy and joined Ezra at the door. "He's out like a light. I'll leave the door open in case he wakes up, but I think he is down for the night. I'm going to go back downstairs for a while. Are you coming too?"
"Yes. I thought maybe I would see if I could talk Evie out of a piece of pie before turning in." The gambler stepped aside and let Mary go down ahead of him. "So tell me, how is tomorrow night going to top tonight?"
"What do you mean?" Mary asked. "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve."
"I know, but I've never enjoyed an evening more than this one. I just find it hard to imagine that tomorrow can be any better than this."
Evie looked up when she heard the southerner's comment as he came into the kitchen. "Christmas Eve is extra special when there are children in the house," she told him. "We all know the real reason for Christmas and we make sure to celebrate the birth of our Savior, but we can't resist the allure of Santa Claus." She smiled wistfully as she remembered past Christmas Eves. "We used to have such a hard time getting Steven to sleep on Christmas Eve. Orin and I used to tell him one bedtime story after another, but just as soon as we thought he was asleep and tried to slip out of the room he was wide awake again."
Ezra took a seat at the table and listened intently to the older woman. He wondered if his own mother ever had any regrets about the way their lives had been. As hard as he tried, he just couldn't remember a time when she had reminisced like Evie was doing now, with real emotion tingeing her words.
"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be going on like this about Steven."
The gambler reached across the table to give Evie's hand a reassuring squeeze. "There is no need to apologize, and please don't stop talking about him on my account. I've been enjoying the stories." He paused and gave her one of his most charming smiles. "Do you suppose I could talk you out of some of that apple pie? And then I would love to hear more about your family Christmases."
+ + + + + + +
It was late when they all headed up to bed. There had been stories from Orin and Evie's childhoods, and many more about when Steven was a child. Mary had added some stories of her own from when she was young, and she even added a couple about Christmas when Billy was little and Steven was still with them. They had tried to find out about his own past holidays, and Ezra had started out being evasive as usual, but after a while he started to open up and tell them a little of what they wanted to know.
Orin and Evie said their goodnights when they all got to the top of the stairs, and they went into their room, closing the door behind them. Ezra walked Mary to her door and cupped her face between his hands to give her a kiss good night. "Thank you."
"For what?" she asked. "You don't need to thank me for a goodnight kiss."
"Thank you for bringing me here. It has been an experience I shall never forget."
Mary slid her arms around his waist and drew him closer to her. "It wouldn't have been Christmas without you with us. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."
"I am." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "There's something else I would enjoy too," he said as he lowered his lips to hers.
A soft moan escaped her when she opened her mouth inviting him to take the kiss deeper, offering herself to him.. She slipped one hand up to curl her fingers in his hair while the other slid under his jacket to caress his back. Her body melted against his and the kiss took on a life all of its own.
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