by Midnight Profit and Lisa

Disclaimer: Trilogy, MGM, and the Mirish Corporation own The Magnificent Seven characters. They are not mine. The only purpose of this story is for entertainment. No money is being made.

Author's Notes: This is what commercials that hold plot bunnies produce. Blame them, not me. Thanks to Lisa for writing this with me. You rock!

Ezra Standish yawned, covering his mouth with his hand. He glanced at his watch. Not quite time for lunch. The day had started off slow and seemed to be getting slower as every minute passed. There was a commotion outside his office. The Southern ATF Agent swiveled his chair so he could better see out the open door.

Agent's Dunne & Wilmington appeared to be having a water pistol fight. Apparently his teammates were just as bored as he was.

Rolling his eyes, Ezra moved back to his desk. He glanced at his watch once more – the hands had barely moved. His eyes stopped on his computer…well, he may as well pass the time doing something productive. He connected to the Internet to check his e-mail. He'd been waiting for a reply from a colleague. No sooner had he accessed his e-mail then those damn pop ups started. With a sigh, Ezra navigated the mouse and began closing the windows. One pop up- window caught his eye and he paused, his finger hovering over the mouse.

"," he read aloud. "Eager for a change? Insta-change can help. Simply visit our Website and you'll notice the changes instantly."

Intrigued and bored, Ezra moved the mouse and clicked on the URL. It took only a moment for the Website to load. There was nothing special about the page. It had a bright red background and in bold black letters at the top of the page it read, ""

About half way down the page was a little dialogue box with a blinking line. Above the box were instructions: Type Change Below.

'Okay,' Ezra thought. 'Seems easy enough.' He glanced around his office, his eyes resting on the fake potted plant in the corner. It was a pitiful thing, not at all what he would have picked, but he'd had no say in the matter. He typed in 'Exotic flower arraignment' and poof! The fake potted plant disappeared. It was replaced by the most stunning arraignment of flowers he had ever seen. Why, he could even smell the fragrant scent floating from each flower.

Ezra stared at the flowers, his mouth hanging open. He looked back to the computer screen. The blinking line was there, waiting for him to type in his next request. He shrugged. The flowers had worked…so he typed in another.

Nothing happened at first. Ezra was just about to close the window – maybe you could only use it once? – when Nathan stuck his head into the office.

"Hey Ezra," Nathan said.

"Yes Agent Jackson?" Ezra said.

"I just finished all my paperwork on the Emerson case and had some time to kill," Nathan explained. "I was wondering if maybe I could do your paper work?"

Ezra blinked, surprised. He fought back a grin and nodded his head. "Why, if you're certain…"

Nathan snatched up the ever-growing pile of papers from Ezra's desk. "Thanks Ezra."

"No," Ezra said, watching the agent go, a smile growing on his face. "Thank you."

Ezra returned to his computer the instant Nathan was gone, a look of such glee and anticipation on his face. It was like he was a child on Christmas morning, unwrapping presents and finding that he'd gotten everything asked for. He immediately set about typing in change after change, laughing madly all the while.

After a while he got up from his desk, wanting to investigate the transformations he was responsible for. The first thing he noted was the quiet. The Southerner was pretty sure that if he dropped a pin right now he'd hear it hit the floor. He approached the door and peeked out. He stepped into the outer office and as he approached Buck & JD's desks he saw that said desks were devoid of all clutter. He opened one of Buck's drawers…all the 'toys' he usually kept there were gone.

"May I help you Ezra?"

It sounded like Vin, but…Ezra turned around quickly. A smile lit his face. Not only was Vin's hair trimmed neatly, his fingernails manicured and his clothes cleaned and pressed, but the sharpshooter had called him Ezra. Not Ez, but Ezra!

'Oh joyous day!' Ezra sung in his head.

Vin looked a little worried. "Are you all right, Ezra?"

There! He did it again!

"I'm fine, Agent Tanner," Ezra said, barely able to contain his excitement. "I was just looking for Agent Wilmington."

"He'll be back momentarily," Vin informed him.

The door to Chris' office opened and Ezra stared, eyes wide. There stood Chris – or was that Don Johnson from Miami Vice? 'Well,' Ezra mused, 'I did want him to add some color to his drab wardrobe.'

"Ezra," Chris said. He pushed at the sleeves of his white suit jacket. "Can I see you for a minute?"

"Sure," Ezra said. As he approached the team leader he noticed that Chris wasn't wearing any socks.

"Ezra I just wanted you to know," Chris continued. "That raise you put in for was approved."

"Raise?" Ezra asked. This was even better than he'd imagined!

"Yep. You make more than me now, buddy." Chris clapped Ezra on the back, causing the green-eyed agent to stumble.

"Delightful," Ezra mumbled, his mind working overtime on all the things he could do with that Website as Chris returned to his office.

Across the room the Josiah walked through the office door, smiling as he noticed Ezra.

"Ezra, just the person I'm looking for," said the ATF Profiler. "I thought you might want a caramel macchiato and today's newspaper," continued Josiah as he handed the two items to the undercover agent. "Oh, I also noticed your Jag needed washing so I took care of it for you."

"Why thank you, Mr. Sanchez," replied Ezra who was quite pleased with the recent turn of events. He watched his coworker walk away and then noticed Buck Wilmington and JD Dunne approaching and instead of their normal sloppy attire and childish antics both were impeccably dressed in attire that made them look like James Bond and were discussing the merits of the season passes to the opera.

"Mr. Standish," greeted JD as he nodded to his friend. "Mr. Wilmington and I were just conversing on attending the opera tonight . . . would you by chance be interested in joining us?"

Ezra was stunned and for a moment he was unable to say a word. Finally proper decorum returned and he replied, "Why I would love to, Mr. Dunne, thank you."

"Oh, Ezra," said Buck. "I retrieved your laundry and have deposited it in your vehicle."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Wilmington," replied Ezra as he watched the two men retreat to their desks and immediately start working.

"Ezra!" said Assistant Director Orin Travis as he walked into the Team Seven spaces. "You're just the man I'm looking for. . ."

"Yes. . ." replied Ezra as he turned slowly to face the Assistant Director.

"Congratulations," continued Travis as he held out his hand. "You've been named as my replacement. . ."

"I have?" asked the undercover agent with a stunned look on his face. "I didn't realize you were departing. . ."

"Me neither," replied Travis as he smiled. "But, hey, a man has to retire sometime. . ."


The chestnut haired man turned towards the elevators to see his mother step off. She hurried towards him, her arms wide and when she reached him she gathered him into an embrace. "Oh my darling Ezra," Maude said, her voice filled with emotion.

"Mother," Ezra started, shocked at this public display of affection.

"I am so sorry my darling son," she went on. "You were right. You always have bee right. About everything. I have been a horrible mother, and the way I have used you is atrocious."

"I don't know how to make up for my lacking skills as a mother," she continued. "Except to give you my fortune."

Ezra couldn't have been happier as his teammates gathered round to congratulate him and his mother handed him a check with more zeros than he had ever imagined seeing. And to think he owed it all to that brilliant Website. He seemed to be in a daze as his friends began to chant his name, "Ezra, Ezra, Ezra."

Ezra closed his eyes, basking in the glow of adoration.



Something cold and wet hit the Southerner in the face, startling him out of his happiness. His green eyes flew open as the chair he'd been tilting back in suddenly toppled over, spilling him out of it.

He picked himself up off the floor slowly, brushing his Armani suit as he did. The first thing that caught his eyes was the poor potted plant in the corner.

"Hey Ez!" Buck said once more. The ladies' man was leaning in the doorway, wearing one of his sloppy suits, a water pistol in hand. "We're all goin' out for burgers. You wanna come?"

Ezra still couldn't get over the potted plant and the fact that Buck had just called him Ez. He ran a hand through his hair, realizing that it had all been a dream. With a sigh he turned to his computer, and powered it down. "Yes, Agent Wilmington, I believe I shall join you. I could use a drink."

"Great," Buck said, clapping him on the back as they left the office. "'Cause you're buyin'."