Notes: Many thanks to Judy and Sandra N. for reading, critiquing, and gremlin spotting.
Comments welcome and appreciated.
The brown leather jacket landed squarely on the desk but the toss had been a little too strong. Momentum carried it to the edge of the desk, then off.Vin Tanner, owner and thrower of said jacket, shrugged indifferently as it slid to the floor. He needed coffee. Good, strong coffee. The kind he liked and that made the other guys go out and buy their own at the little coffee place in the lobby of the Federal Building.
With his eyes darting between the clock on the bullpen wall and Chris’s office opposite it, he made for the break room.
The time was eight thirty-five. Chris’s off ice, empty.
Twenty-five minutes to go.
The others would complain about the coffee and Vin would tell them tough, that’s what happens when you straggle in any old time you felt like. Then they would all implore Chris to make the joe, since he was in early, too. Which he would do, for a while. Until Vin felt the urge to tug his teammates’ chains again.
Most likely today, no one would say anything. And not just because Chris wasn’t around to hear their honestly good-natured gripes.
Vin tore open the package of coffee and glanced at the clock above his head. Twenty-four minutes. With a heavy sigh, he dumped the contents into the filter. Twenty-four minutes struck some chord within him. Twenty-four hours ago, everything had been fine. Now everything was… not fine.
He’d almost given up on Chris coming over last night. They’d had a pretty typical day at the office, doing paperwork and flying paper airplanes and such. At quitting time, Vin had ducked his head into Chris’s office.
"See ya, Cowboy."
Chris looked up and winked. "All right, see ya."
Ooh, that wink. Butterflies fluttered in Vin’s stomach. He’d seen that wink a hundred times at least and still it made him crazy. Every damn time.
But something must have come up. Vin watched the eleven o’clock news, then went into the bathroom to wash up. He was brushing his teeth when he heard the key in the lock. Rinse, spit, grab a towel. He couldn’t possibly do it all fast enough.
Chris was removing the clip from his gun when Vin entered the living room and didn’t look up.
Vin slung the towel over his shoulder and folded his arms. "Been waitin’ on ya," he said playfully. "Wanted to fool around before. Now I reckon I’m a mite tired."
Green eyes blinked at Vin, Chris’s face tight and serious. "Oh yeah?" he said quietly.
Dropping the tease, Vin cocked his head to one side and asked, "What’s wrong?"
"Nothing," Chris said. "Just want you. Badly."
Vin’s eyes widened in surprise and merriment as Chris bore down on him. He didn’t have a chance to say okay, or anything else. In a flash, Chris was across the room and engulfing him in an impassioned embrace. But it was okay. Chris knew it, covering Vin’s lips as they twitched with anticipation, moving over them and parting them.
Chris had one hand in Vin’s hair, the other planted firmly against the small of his back. Vin’s crossed arms were pinned between them. In general, he didn’t like feeling pinned or penned in in any way. But he trusted Chris in a way he had never trusted another and freely gave his lover everything he had. Plus, Chris in such an aggressive mood meant Vin was on the verge of getting lucky the good way - the nasty, honest to goodness, down and dirty fuck, kind of way. He hated it when Chris got all mushy and dragged their lovemaking on forever.
Okay, maybe hated wasn’t the right word.
Right now, whatever was making Chris crazy was just fine with Vin. So he didn’t struggle, only kissed Chris back with matching intensity.
Chris snared Vin’s tongue and sucked on it relentlessly. By the time he stopped, Vin was breathless enough to see stars. Chris let him go so abruptly that he stumbled back, eyes wide again, arms thrown open for balance, reddened lips quirking into a crooked smile.
Chris had him, had him on the floor and shirtless in a matter of seconds. Vin sank his fingers into Chris’s hair as Chris suckled his nipple, arching his back and hissing when Chris’s teeth entered the game.
Chris’s mouth sought his again, Chris’s hands seemingly everywhere on his body all at once. One determined hand slipped into Vin’s plaid flannel sleep pants and brushed his cock. But Vin’s cock, hard and throbbing as it was, was not its intended destination.
Chris’s index finger dipped easily into Vin’s hole. His other hand grabbed Vin’s jaw, turned his head roughly. He panted heavily against Vin’s ear.
"Ready for me?"
Vin shuddered, Chris’s warm, moist breath raising goose bumps on his flesh. He didn’t mind playing the part of Chris’s sex toy. Loved it, in fact, because it was just so fucking electrifying.
Yet he took some control, touching Chris’s face and positioning his own so he could see Chris’s eyes. What he saw there was exactly what he saw every time they made love, be it hard and fast or methodical and emotionally charged.
"Always," Vin answered in a huskier, breathier version of his voice.
Chris smiled and kissed him quickly. Then he was gone. Not long enough for Vin to shiver more than once.
The bottle that was slammed down near his hips made Vin chuckle. Cooking oil. Of course. If the bedroom was too far to go to make love then the drawer in the night table was way too far to go for lube.
For the first time Vin thought about being taken on the hard wood floor. Apparently the area rug three feet away was also just too long a wait to get to the good stuff for Chris. Still, he wasn’t about to complain. Not about that, anyway.
"Hurry up, there, Chris. Some of us ain’t gettin’ no younger," he teased. Chris had been in his apartment all of twenty minutes, maybe.
"For that, I’m not getting you a pillow," Chris said as he tugged his dress pants down. Determined yet graceful, he maintained his balance perfectly while kicking off his shoes, pants, and underwear.
Vin enjoyed the show but wanted more. "Might wanna lose the jacket," he suggested. He stretched and pretended to yawn, raising his hips slightly to remind Chris of what was waiting for him.
Chris growled low in his throat, well aware of what was waiting and how exactly he wanted to have it. He dropped his jacket to the floor and pulled his dress shirt and undershirt off over his head. Ducking over to the couch, he returned with not one but two small pillows. "Hope these covers are washable," he said.
Vin lifted his head and butt in turn. "Thought ya was sore with me for a second there," he said.
"Was. But I’ll need you to drop my suit at the cleaners tomorrow."
Vin smiled brightly. "Ya slay me, Cowboy. Ya know that?"
"Yeah, I do," Chris said and opened the oil.
Chris remembered his ferocity and it was all right, Vin was ready. He opened to Chris, clutching his upper arms in the absence of bed sheets. Not wanting to hinder his lover’s movements, he wrapped his legs loosely around Chris’s waist.
Chris steadied himself open-palmed on the floor and fucked Vin with short, steady thrusts. Like a dog in heat and Vin reveled in it, sweating and flexing his hips to better ride those thrusts.
"Touch me," he rasped.
Chris fisted his hand around Vin's swollen sex and leaned down. Vin cupped his face and kissed him, his tongue darting out to lick Chris’s lips and taste the salty moisture there.
"Oh, God, Chris," Vin cried as Chris squeezed and stroked, his thumb applying just the right amount of pressure to the head of Vin’s cock. He came first, his sticky warmth sealing his chest to Chris’s when Chris slid his arms under his shoulders and held tight.
Chris sucked on the tender skin at the base of Vin’s throat until his impending climax made it impossible to do anything but clench his teeth and groan.
Rearing his head, he thrust one final time and held still. "Vin…Vin…aah," he sobbed, dropping his head back to Vin’s shoulder as the last of his climax flowed out of him.
Vin held him close, rubbed his back even as his own returning sensibility reminded him of the strain in his legs and lower back.
Chris eased off him with a tender kiss. "Sorry I was so late," he said smiling.
"I’d say ya came just in time," Vin responded impishly. He slid his hands around to Chris’s chest and caressed him gently with curled fingers. He hadn’t forgotten Chris’s expression of earlier, had merely filed it away temporarily. "Okay, ya had your fun. Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?"
Chris took Vin’s hands in his own and kissed them. "Let’s wash up. Nothing worse than sleeping with cooking oil all over you."
Vin leaned into it when Chris pulled him up and shook his head in mild irritation. Chris Larabee, master of the evasive maneuver. "Lucky you’re such a great fuck or I’d a shot ya a long time ago," he mumbled en route the bathroom.
Chris only laughed and hugged him affectionately.
Voices in the bullpen brought Vin back to the present. Another quick look at the clock told him only a couple of minutes had passed. Eight forty a.m. and already the longest day of his life.
"Hey, Vin," Buck said upon entering the break room. "Oh, man! You’re not making the coffee, are you?"
Vin placed the pot on the burner. "Tough luck--"
Buck threw his hands up in surrender. "I know, I know. Need to get here sooner if I want a say in the coffee making."
Facing his friend, Vin leaned against the counter and crossed his arms and ankles. "That’s about the shape of it," he said.
"So," Buck said, casually leaning to one side, hands on his hips, "what’s Chris gonna do?"
"He’s gonna deny everything."
Buck’s face brightened considerably, the very definition of hopeful. "Really?" he asked excitedly.
Vin rolled his eyes. "No, not really. They’ve got us dead to rights, remember?"
The brightness turned to a blush as Buck cast his eyes down. "Right, sorry," he said sheepishly.
When he looked up again, his eyes were filled with remorse. "I never meant no harm, I swear, Vin. JD hardly ever goes into my room. I really am sorry. We both are."
Buck’s cowed demeanor made Vin glad he had said ‘remember’ and not what he was really thinking: Thanks to you.
Vin turned away. "I know. Not your fault," he said.
Only it was Buck’s fault, indirectly and with no malice aforethought. Chris had been surprisingly, irritatingly philosophical about it. Even after he had learned that it had all been part of some bizarre, but clearly very successful, plot to seduce Ezra.
Vin? He was still a little pissed.
As the rising sun had filled his bedroom with warmth and light this morning, Vin had leaned up on his elbows.
"Enough already, Chris. What’s with all the phone calls and the apologies from Buck?" he asked.
Even before they’d washed up last night, Chris had gone into the bedroom with his cell phone. It had rung twice after that, Chris leaving the room both times to take the calls. And during round two of their lovemaking, with them side-by-side on the bed, face-to-groin, Buck had left three messages, begging both Vin and Chris for their forgiveness.
Vin was a patient man and had always made it a point never to press Chris unless it was absolutely necessary. Last night, he’d fallen asleep pretty quickly in Chris’s arms. This morning, getting answers had become a matter of life or death. Because he was pretty much ready to kill Chris if he didn’t come clean.
He asked again, "What’s going on?"
Chris sighed and crossed his arms behind his head. "You know how I always thought my sleeping with you was somehow responsible for Buck hitting on Ezra? Like maybe his seeing me with you opened up a world of carnal possibilities that he’d never let himself explore, or something?"
"Yeah," Vin said slowly.
"Well, my friend, I had no idea how right I was."
Vin’s curiosity was beyond piqued. Buck and Ezra had been together on and off for about ten months. Every time they left someplace together, Buck would give Chris a mysterious smile and a quick kiss. Owing to their years of friendship, Chris had told Buck first, privately, about becoming lovers with Vin. Later, Buck had returned the favor by telling Chris about Ezra. But that had never totally explained Buck’s demeanor, at least not to Chris’s satisfaction. All attempts to uncover what, if anything, Buck was hiding had yielded no fruit.
Chris and Vin had initially made love on a dare, almost. Chris insisting he’d never been threatened by instances of same sex attraction, Vin urging him to put his money where his mouth was and let them have sex. He had and they did. Early on, both had abandoned any hope they may have held that the thing between them would be casual or insignificant. They had known each other too well, cared for each other too deeply, long before eager hands and hungry mouths had ever touched heated, bare skin. Vin never liked to talk about it but he’d been hooked from the start. Chris had been as well.
So Chris told Buck. A couple of months later, Chris and Vin told the rest of the Team. Mainly because they both wanted the relationship to last and their friends’ support could mean the difference between the Team staying together or falling apart in the wake of the new dynamic. At the moment they did because they were going to a conference in Chicago. Josiah had volunteered his friend’s cabin on Lake Michigan for a mini vacation. Chris and Vin had decided the others had the right to know they were sharing a bed, since they would all be sharing relatively small quarters for a weekend.
Vin swatted Chris’s arm. "Come on, you’re killin’ me here," he said with uncharacteristic impatience.
"Remember the cabin on the lake? And the old video camera Buck found?" Chris asked.
Vin nodded. Buck had gone out immediately and bought blank VHS tapes. Drove everyone crazy, videotaping them while they slept, when they ate, in the shower.
Chris smiled and shook his head. "I was so happy that we got the room with the big wardrobe," he said wistfully.
"Chris, I’m about to shoot ya," Vin growled.
Chris rolled to his side and propped his head in his hand. "Buck hid in the wardrobe and videotaped us making love."
"What?" Vin asked.
Chris nodded, chuckling softly. "That’s what we get for not being able to keep our hands off each other, I guess. It was our turn to make supper and we’d stopped in the bedroom for a little cooking of the naked kind. Buck had us figured and was waiting."
Vin didn’t know what to say. It certainly was true that in the beginning, they did it every chance they got. Love and sex with another man was completely new to Chris and being in love at all was a first for Vin. They took advantage of every opportunity to get horizontal and explore it, explore each other. Did it vertically, too, if that was the only option available. And truth be told, after over a year together, they’d hadn’t really cooled off all that much. Though it was instrumental in getting them together in the first place, something so much more profound than lust fueled their lovemaking and made it special every time.
Including that time in the cabin with Buck lurking in the wardrobe.
"Turned ‘im on, did it?" Vin asked with one eyebrow cocked.
Chris held Vin’s forearm and stroked his thumb over the coarse hair. "Reckon so. Took it over to Ez’s when we got back and the rest, as they say, is history."
"So how’d ya find out?"
"That’s where it gets…ugly."
Vin held his breath. Gets ugly? Because being spied on during your most intimate moments wasn’t? He realized he was a little annoyed at what Buck had done. His time with Chris was private, his alone to behold and no one else’s. At least, not without his consent. Vin wasn’t one to cast aspersions on anyone’s kinks, including Buck’s apparent enthrallment with voyeurism. He would just like to have been asked.
Of course, there was no way it would have been the same if he’d known he was being watched. Maybe authenticity was what Buck had been after. Vin was sure he’d gotten it – he knew of nothing more pure than his love for Chris.
"Thought you wanted to hear this?" Chris asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Ugly?"
"Ugly," Chris confirmed. "Apparently, JD needed a tape to record some show for Team Six’s tech. You know? Eddie Six, Team Six?" A minor coincidence that Eddie had ended up on Team Six, given his last name, but one people always seemed to enjoy for some reason. Or question, in hopes of unraveling some unimaginable conspiracy.
Vin pushed himself up until he was kneeling back on his feet. "Don’t tell me…"
"Yep," Chris confirmed. "He went into Buck’s room, found an unmarked tape on top of the television..." Chris shrugged one shoulder. "After thirty minutes of whatever it is techies watch, robots operating on hamsters or whatever, Eddie got an eyeful of me and you."
"You’re kidding?" Vin said with a groan.
"Pretty good little piece of filmmaking, all things considered. And boy, were we hot, Vin. I had one foot planted on the floor, your ankle on my shoulder, and I was tugging on your dick, begging you to come for me. Your other leg was around my waist and you were holding onto the slats on the headboard and moaning like an alley cat." Chris snickered. "Might have brought back some real nice memories, if I hadn’t been watching it in Travis’ office."
Vin’s mouth dropped open at that last remark. He’d been listening, adrift on a sea that was equal parts amusement and embarrassment. The latter, not because he was ashamed of what he and Chris had. He wasn’t. But for Christ’s sake. How was he supposed to take the news of a fellow ATF agent ogling him and Chris in the throes of passion? An agent who was clearly well versed in Bureau regulations prohibiting senior agents from "socializing" with those in their command?
Suddenly his eyes narrowed. "That little shit told on us? I’m gonna take him out, Chris. Perch on the roof of our building and when he goes out to lunch--"
"Wait, no," Chris said. "He didn’t tell. Didn’t tell Travis, least ways. He told Derek and you know Derek is a friend of mine. We were made Senior Agent in Charge right around the same time. Derek told Eddie to destroy the tape, forget he ever saw it, and tell no one. Including JD, who might not have known about his boss and their sharpshooter, since Derek couldn’t fathom any other explanation for the videotape being out there except total ignorance."
"So how did Travis get it?"
"Mike Walsh, that ball-busting pain in the ass. But Travis didn’t get it directly," Chris said and for the first time since he’d begun his saga, sounded angry.
"Him? Of all people? I hate that prick," Vin said of his counterpart on Team Six.
Walsh was arrogant, with no exceptional talents to back it up that Vin could discern. He’d filled in for Vin after Vin had broken his ankle chasing down a suspect. Nearly drove Chris nuts telling him what he should and shouldn’t do as they prepared to take down some gun dealers. During the op, he did things his own way and nearly got Ezra killed. Chris wanted him canned but Derek smoothed things over. Then Walsh had the unmitigated nerve to request permanent reassignment to Team Seven. Why was anyone’s guess, except that they were considered the best team within the ATF and lots of guys wanted to be counted among their ranks. When the transfer was denied, he’d bad-mouthed Chris all over the department.
But the thing that had galled Vin the most? Walsh had on more than one occasion made snide comments to Vin at The Saloon regarding his sexual preference. Vin had always ignored him but it had played on his nerves, making him overly cautious and self-conscious in his public dealings with Chris. Almost as disarming, it had made him uncomfortable in the one bar he relaxed enough in to let loose and have fun.
"Reckon he hates you, too, or me, or is jealous or something," Chris continued. "Eddie went to him first about the tape. Walsh convinced him to lock it in his desk before speaking to Derek."
"And good ole Mike has a key to Eddie’s desk?"
Chris nodded. "By the time Eddie came out of Derek’s office, Mike and the tape were gone."
"Him, I really am gonna shoot, Chris. And they’ll likely give me a medal," Vin said.
With an amused snort, Chris sat up and put a pillow behind his back. "Walsh knows everyone thinks he’s a fuck up. Only reason he still has his job is because Derek is a softie. Covers for him." He met Vin’s eyes and smiled gently. "There aren’t going to be any medals for us, Vin. Walsh went over Travis’s head to the Internal Review Board. He’s using us to make his bones, I think. I have a meeting with the Board at nine. They were going to bushwhack me but Travis gave me the heads up."
"That why ya were so late last night?"
"Yep. Just after you boys left, I got an interoffice memo that I had to sign for. Never signed for an interoffice memo before. It was a summons from the Board. I called Travis and he told me to kill some time then go up to his office when the building had emptied out some. He showed me the tape, told me he didn’t want any details but that I was going to be asked about it in the morning. I’m not even sure how he got the tape, since the Board told him they’re more likely to get the truth out of me if they catch me off guard. Can’t see them letting him hold onto it." Chris paused to shrug. "You know, I bet he stole it."
Vin chewed his bottom lip as he chewed over what Chris was saying. To save his career, Chris would have to lie. Say it was over between him and Vin, or a one-shot deal to begin with. Somehow, he knew Chris wouldn’t lie and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. "Are ya gonna tell them the truth?" he asked.
"Yeah, I am," Chris said.
"What’ll happen then?"
Chris shrugged. "They could fire me. Probably talk to you first, ask if you were coerced or harassed in any way."
"Since I wasn’t?"
"I really don’t know, Vin," Chris said. "I thanked Travis and left. I wanted time to think. Mostly I wanted to get my hands on Buck. The second I saw that tape I knew he was behind it. Told Travis he might want to lock me up or the video would be the least of our problems, I’d be in jail for murder." Chris scrubbed his hands over his face. "Anyway, I drove over to the loft but Buck wasn’t home. I asked JD about the tape and he told me about taking it from Buck’s room. He was clueless of course, thought it was blank because the first few minutes were. I didn’t bother telling him how wrong he was. Swung by Ezra’s but Buck wasn’t there, either, or answering his cell. I called him after we made love and he finally answered."
Vin furrowed his brow. "Did ya tell Ezra everything?" he asked feeling a little peeved. He wasn’t territorial by any means but the thought of Chris discussing this with Ezra before him bothered him. Not only because it affected him.
"Nope," Chris said. "But Buck told him and he called me to warn me not to volunteer anything. Give precise, short answers. Travis pretty much told me the same thing when he called to find out if we were burying Buck’s body."
Vin snorted. "Good advice," he said and chided himself for the flash of jealousy. Being in love with Chris had introduced him to so many new experiences and emotions it was amazing. He’d never been jealous of a lover looking at someone else before and here he was out of sorts because he thought his lover had talked to someone else about something personal before talking it over with him. Buck, he’d let slide. Buck was involved and let’s face it, responsible. Chris needed answers from him. Ezra would have been going too far. "I reckon ya tore Buck a new one?"
Chris shrugged his eyebrows. "Last night I was ready to strangle him. It’s a good thing I never met up with him," he said. "Today… I don’t know."
What little anger had been in Chris’s voice wasn’t there when he spoke of strangling Buck. Vin understood. It was just one of those things. Buck may have overstepped the boundaries of propriety but he’d never intentionally hurt Chris. Walsh had been the fly in the ointment.
"Y’ain’t still mad at him?" Vin asked.
"Not really, no," Chris said. "Something like this was bound to happen. Us getting found out, that is. A videotape in living color…" he waved his hand, "that’s a bit much and just so… Buck. But the discovery? What are you going to do? We’re lovers, we couldn’t hope to hide it forever."
"Think we were doing a pretty good job," Vin said.
"We were. I’m just saying we should have planned for this. Thought about what we’d do if it ever came down to the job or us," Chris said.
Vin felt those weird new emotions seizing him again but he didn’t hide. "We gotta think about it, Chris? Ain’t nothin’ to think about in my book," he said honestly.
Chris heard the hurt in Vin’s voice and said gently, "You know I would choose us over the job, Vin. I just meant that I don’t even know if you’re okay with that, me resigning before they can fire me."
Vin realized he’d been holding his breath and let it out slowly, relief replacing the knife in his heart. "I ain’t okay with that," he said. "Reckon it makes more sense for me to quit."
"You didn’t break the rules, I did."
Vin shifted so that he could lie against Chris’s chest. "I’ll quit, Chris. Go back to bounty hunting," he said softly.
Chris combed his fingers through Vin’s hair, relaxing them both. "You want to go back to bounty hunting?"
The alarm clock sounded and Vin reached over to turn it off. "Not really. But more than I want to see your career ruined." He picked up his head. "Only hard part will be the Failures to Appear that skip town, take me away from ya for a time."
Chris pressed his lips to Vin’s. "I’ll probably resign, Vin. After you, they’ll want to question the rest of the Team. There’s no telling what Walsh told them. It’s not worth having our lives invaded, it’s just a job."
"A job I don’t want ya to lose because of me," Vin said. Is this what it meant to really love someone, he wondered? To give up everything you had except him because of what you shared, and not care? Chris was willing to walk away from the ATF for him and he was equally willing to quit for Chris. Were they in love, or just insane?
"It’s not because of you, Vin. Not exactly," Chris said. "I’m giving up my career for love. It’s a grand, romantic gesture. You should be impressed."
"Well, I ain’t," Vin said with a scowl. "Your career’s too important to toss away over a relationship."
"You’re willing to do it," Chris noted.
"It’s different with me. I joined the Team because I needed a job and I trusted ya from the start. You’ve been building something with the Bureau, you’ve got a future there and everyone says so."
"I’m building something with you, Vin. Something that’s really important to me," Chris said.
Vin had never once doubted that he loved Chris, even if he too infrequently admitted it to anyone but himself. So the thought that occurred to him didn’t surprise him. "If they give ya the chance to stay, tell ‘em you’ll break it off with me."
"You really hate it when I try to show you how much I love you, don’t you?" Chris said with a light chuckle.
"I’m serious, Chris," Vin said and stared long into Chris’s eyes. "Walk away from me if they give ya an out."
Chris didn’t want to talk anymore. He tried to kiss Vin again but his lover turned away. "I’m not giving you up, Vin," he said after a long sigh. "I’ll resign first."
In the break room, those words echoed in Vin’s ears as he poured his badly needed coffee. I’m not giving you up.
"Maybe you should," he murmured to himself.
"Say again?" Buck asked.
Vin faced him once more. "Nothing."
Buck looked at his watch. "Fifteen minutes and counting." He glanced up at Vin and said, "Have you given any thought to quitting? Now? A preemptive blow, sort of. They can’t fire Chris for sleeping with you if you don’t work for them anymore."
Vin shrugged one shoulder. "Thought about it. Chris seems determined to resign," he said and felt a sharp burn in his chest. The more he pondered it, the more he believed that Chris should choose the job over him. So why did the possibility hurt so much?
Buck got toe to toe with Vin and rested his forearms on Vin’s shoulders. "I know he loves you, I’ve seen the proof," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows, "but do you really think it’s a forever kind of thing? I mean, the man was married, had a son. Don’t you think he’s eventually gonna want that again? Should he throw his career away for something that, great as it may be, ain’t gonna last?"
Vin sucked in a breath. Unwittingly, Buck had hit the nail on the head. Vin realized he’d been avoiding probing the very nerve Buck had inadvertently exposed and now there it was, open and aching. Was that what he and Chris should have discussed at some point? Perhaps…
Still, he reacted angrily, in denial. "Listen here, ya son of a bitch--"
"Mr. Wilmington, haven’t you caused enough trouble already? Leave Mr. Tanner alone."
Vin and Buck both turned toward the door where Ezra stood. An image flashed in Vin’s mind of him and Chris in bed together one Saturday morning, spread eagle and lazing while the sweat dried.
"Ya reckon Ez calls Buck "Mr." in bed?" Vin had asked.
Chris hadn’t even taken time to weigh the question, like he’d been thinking about it all along. "Yeah, I reckon he does."
"Morning, Ezra," Buck and Vin said in unison.
"Good morning," Ezra replied. "Mr. Wilmington, come away now."
Buck turned back to Vin. "Sorry, pard. Just asking, is all. Maybe it is forever. Hell, what do I know? The most fun I’ve had in bed over the past year has been with Mr. Prim and Proper here," he said with a nod to Ezra. "Guess if that could be true, anything could happen."
"Forget it," Vin said and kept his lips tightly pursed when Buck planted a little kiss on them.
"If Chris wants to choose you, I reckon he knows what he’s doing," Buck said sincerely.
Vin nodded and glanced away. He looked back in time to see Buck goose Ezra as he passed him on his way out the door.
"You made the coffee, yes?" Ezra asked rhetorically. "Oh joy."
Vin said nothing, only slid sideways along the counter when Ezra reached for the coffeepot.
"Yes, well…" Beyond that, Ezra could think of nothing to say. He squeezed Vin’s shoulder before he departed, content with the small nod Vin bestowed on him.
Vin stopped himself from checking the time again. "Fuck," he murmured. He’d given Chris an out and would have no right to be angry if at the last minute he decided to take him up on it.
Devastated, though? Yeah, he would have the right to be that.
~*~
Chris stood staring idly out the window in Assistant Director Travis’ office. He was hiding, sort of. His meeting with the IRB was not for another half an hour or so, but he had no wish to hang around his own office. He was sure the rest of the Team had learned of his predicament by now and he wanted to avoid the questions, pep talks, or whatever else they might with the best intentions attempt to send his way. He felt he could bear the sight of none of them at the moment, apart from Vin.
Or more precisely, Chris could not bear to witness that which he was about to lose.
It all meant so much more to him than the mere word "career" could express and he was, in thirty minutes time, going to give it all up.
All because he had no intention of giving up Vin.
Chris had woken before Vin this morning, a rare and special treat. Especially with the early morning sun streaming ever more in through the tattered window shade. It played on Vin’s bare shoulders and bathed him in an almost unearthly glow. Chris had been torn between watching his lover sleep and waking him up with well-placed kisses when Vin’s long black eyelashes fluttered.
Big blue eyes smiled a good morning to him. Vin’s eyes were never so blue or so clear as they were when he first awoke. Chris thought him beautiful and said so as he pushed a strand of hair from Vin’s face.
"You’re so beautiful, Vin."
Vin tsked and turned his head on the pillow.
Chris waited, his fingertips gliding gently across Vin’s shoulders. When Vin turned back, it was not because of Chris’s patient prodding.
Vin lifted up on his elbows. "Enough already, Chris. What’s with all the phone calls and the apologies from Buck?" he asked.
Chris told him everything.
When he was done and holding Vin in his arms trying to reassure him, Vin turned away from him. With a sigh, he said, "I’m not giving you up, Vin. I’m resigning,"
"Chris--" Vin began.
But Chris didn’t let him finish. He caught Vin’s face and kissed his mouth. Kept kissing him as he lowered him to the mattress and stretched out on top of him.
Vin broke the kiss and bit gently on Chris’s cheek. "Ain’t got time for this. Can’t be late today of all days," he said in a hoarse whisper.
Chris pulled back and smiled at Vin. "I think today’s the perfect day to be late," he said as he nuzzled Vin’s neck.
Vin slipped his arms around Chris’s broad back. "Ah, hell, Cowboy," he mumbled.
Chris showed no interest in hurrying, despite Vin’s pleas that soon turned to curses. He rolled Vin onto his stomach and kissed the buttons of his spine slowly, lovingly.
The slow burn continued as Chris parted Vin’s asscheeks and plunged his tongue into the quivering puckered hole. Vin writhed and twisted, prompting Chris to take even more time pleasuring him.
Electrifying in its own way and maddening almost beyond endurance.
"Damn you, Larabee," Vin hissed in between moans.
There was something contradictory in Vin’s nature. He knew Chris loved him, wanted and needed that love more than he would have ever thought possible. Yet he hated when Chris was at all demonstrative about it.
Chris was well aware of this and exploited it from time to time, driving Vin wild with long, loving testimonials. Sometimes he told Vin he loved him, just to piss him off. Just so he could wear him down with apologetic kisses and touches. There was nothing quite so amazing as Vin Tanner when he finally gave in to his desire and turned the tables on Chris.
After, Chris always had the bruises to prove it and cherished each and every one of them, always. Like he treasured the whispered I love you, too that inevitably followed the rough and tumble lovemaking.
It was as if their love was a secret Vin was trying to keep from himself as much as from the Bureau.
A rush of air behind him told that Travis had returned. He had insisted on accompanying Chris down the hall to his meeting, but had let Chris have some quiet time beforehand.
Chris checked his watch. Even with the time spent making love this morning, he had not been late to the office. Later than usual, but not late. It seemed to him that time was nearly standing still.
"Chris," Travis said in voice not much above a whisper, "if you tell them this thing with Vin is over, you may save both of your careers."
Chris strode to the chair facing Travis across his desk and sat. It was time his boss and friend heard some of those details he had wanted to avoid. "Except that this thing with Vin isn’t over," he said.
Travis arched one eyebrow. "Any chance it will be soon?" he asked. The look on Chris’s face straightened his optimistic eyebrow right out. "Well, then we do have a problem."
"I’m going to resign, Orin," Chris said.
"Just like that?"
Chris nodded. "Just like that."
"They haven’t even asked you to resign. This meeting is merely the first step in the inquiry phase of what hasn’t yet been declared an official investigation," Travis said. "Don’t jump the gun, Chris. Don’t be in such a hurry to be…noble."
"Is that what you think I’m doing, being noble?" Chris asked.
"I don’t know, Chris. It just seems to me that you’re not really grasping the seriousness of this," Travis said. "You don’t even seem upset about giving up your career. Are you going to resign today then wake up tomorrow and ask yourself what the hell were you thinking?"
"I’ve given it a lot of thought, Orin," Chris said.
He had. Driving around last night after seeing the tape and after finding Buck not at home. Later, after Vin fell asleep. His relationship with Vin was the most important thing in his life. Somehow, Vin had become his world, much the way Sarah and Adam had. He didn’t harbor too many regrets when it came to his marriage, he had loved Sarah with all his heart. But he’d worked long hours and had often been emotionally distant from her when the job got to be too much. He could never have the time lost with her back. He could and did make the most of the time he had with Vin because he understood, deeply and painfully, how fleeting it all was.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to do the math.
"Vin comes first, then?" Travis asked.
"Yes, he does."
"He’s okay with that?"
"Not entirely," Chris answered truthfully, "but it’s my call."
"In the meeting, I’m going to make a suggestion. I want you think about it before we go in," Travis said and pushed his sleeve back to expose his watch. "You’ve got almost ten minutes, you could call down to Vin."
Chris felt his chest tighten. "What’s the suggestion?"
"That Tanner be transferred temporarily, six months or so. You and he agree to have no contact during that time, then agree to stop seeing each other socially when he returns--"
"Orin…"
"--Let me finish. I’ll cover for you, if the relationship survives the separation. If you get caught again – and may I suggest you put a leash on Wilmington? – you resign at that time. What have you got to lose?"
"If we get caught again, I will get fired. What chance would I have then of finding another job in law enforcement? And besides," Chris said with emotion, "I could never ask you to lie for us, risk your job for us. Though I appreciate the offer."
"I wouldn’t have to lie, exactly," Travis said. "You lie, and I’ll swear to it. Chris, they can’t expect me to go barging into your bedroom. And they have to walk a fine line. This is about rank, not sexuality. They’re going to have to be careful."
Chris laughed softly. "You say you’d swear to it like you bend the rules all the time," he said, sure of the falsity of that notion. "I would still be compromising you and they would still have a case because I would still outrank Vin. Thanks, but it wouldn’t work."
"Chris, I’m not just thinking of your love life. You boys are the best we’ve got, a good part of the reason that the ATF’s clearance record is so high among federal agencies. It would be bad all around if Team Seven broke up for good."
"I don’t know, Orin…" Chris said.
"At least run it by Vin and see what he says."
He didn’t have to run it by Vin. Vin would go for it. Not because he wanted to, but because it was a way to save Chris’s career. Because he would believe, as Chris did, that the relationship would survive the separation. But would they survive the scrutiny they would surely be under when he returned? Would the Board be preoccupied with uncovering the truth, to the point that they routinely questioned the Team, disrupting their harmony and damaging their natural synergy?
Would it be at all worth it? Or would it be better to resign outright now, as he had planned?
The voice of Travis’s secretary Celia on the intercom broke the silence into which Chris had retreated.
"Assistant Director Travis? The Board says they are ready for you and Agent Larabee."
Travis leaned forward. "Tell them we’re on our way," he said. He looked over at Chris. "Well? Can you live without Vin for six months?"
~*~
Chris came in through the office door tugging on his tie. "Anybody up for a liquid lunch?" he asked.
"It’s only eleven," JD said.
Unfazed, Chris said, "Okay, a liquid brunch, then."
"Either it went very well," Buck said, "or it went very badly. Which is it?"
"Call Inez," Chris said as if he hadn’t heard. "See if she’ll open up for us."
"Oh, she’ll open up for us. We ain’t gotta worry about that," Buck said confidently, already reaching for the phone to give Inez a courtesy warning.
"Good. Vin and I will meet you there in five," Chris said.
Vin stood and shrugged at his friends. "See ya in five, I reckon."
He followed Chris into his office and closed the door, though he was sure Chris would not start talking until the bullpen had cleared out.
Chris stood at his desk, tapping his finger on his appointment calendar.
Vin could not get a read on him at all. Couldn’t tell if one or both of them was out of a job or if the thing Chris was building with him was a ‘forever kind of thing’ or if Chris still thought about having kids one day, or...
He slowly became aware that Chris was grinning at him.
"Giving your brain a workout there, partner?" Chris asked jokingly.
"Tell me, Chris."
Chris glanced briefly out the window then focused on Vin. "Travis tried to save our jobs. Offered to speak with you about a possible temporary transfer. Board wasn’t interested, though" he said.
"What were they interested in?"
"Transferring me to the Chicago office," Chris said, "permanently. No mark on my record on the condition that if you stay with the Bureau, you stay in Denver."
The folks in the Chicago office had been very much impressed with Chris, Vin knew. Had told him that there was a place for him if ever he wanted a change of scenery. Vin had said jokingly that Chicago was a great town and all but not good enough to leave their friends and horses for.
"Sounds fair," Vin said evenly.
"You once said you didn’t want to live in Chicago," Chris said.
"Ya got a chance to save your career," Vin said and searched Chris’s eyes.
Chris bore the scrutiny without blinking. "Yeah, I know."
Vin found the answers he needed. "C’mon, the boys are waiting," he said and walked out of Chris’s office.
Chris closed his calendar and followed.
The End