It seemed like the night had been at least twenty hours long. I tossed and turned so much that I never really got much sleep. Guess there was just too much on my mind. I got up, took a quick shower, dressed, and headed down to the kitchen to make some coffee.//Good morning, Vin. What are your plans for today? Beating up more walls?//
I jumped. "Anyone ever tell ya that yer a smart ass?" When I turned, I saw a man. Actually the only difference between him and me was that his figure was faintly transparent. I was looking at a very attractive man, somewhat older than me, green eyes, auburn hair, shorter and slighter than me, but very well dressed.
//All the time. Mr. Larabee used to tell me that on a regular basis... In reality, that's not true. He used to tell me I was a pain in the ass. Vin told me I was a smart ass, but I was his smart ass. So, what are your plans?//
"Chris 'n JD are coming over with my new truck. I told you that last night. Then we're gonna see if we can unstick the stairs and explore the attic. What's up there, anyhow?"
//The usual kind of things one stores in an attic. Things you don't use everyday, things you kept for memories. Holiday decorations, old clothes, nothing too interesting I would think.//
"Well, I'm hopin' we find the plans for the house. That will help me a lot. Would you just sorta stay outta the way? I don't need JD havin' a heart attack cuz he sees a ghost."
//I don't think anyone but you can see me. Nobody else has ever seen me. In fact, speaking of that, how come you could hear me? That's never happened, either. Why doesn't it bother you? If a revenant suddenly had appeared to me, I'm sure I would have been most perturbed about it. Yet you do not appear to be. Why is that?//
"Guess 'cuz it's happened before."
//I beg your pardon?//
"The first time it happened, I was just a little kid, and my ma and me were visitin' a sick neighbor when she died. Only problem is when my ma came ta tell me, I was having a nice little chat with the lady. She'd asked me ta tell her family that she loved them, and ta tell her husband that the policy was in the old clown cookie jar. My ma told me the news, and I told her I'd been talkin' with Missus Michaels fer a bit. Her and Mister Michaels acted real weird, 'specially when I told them 'bout the policy. They checked the cookie jar, and it seems that Missus Michaels had taken out an insurance policy on herself. Helped out a lot."
//You never found this odd?//
"Nah, I was just a kid." I shrugged.
//Has it ever happened since, other than with me?//
"Yep, when my ma died. They told me she was dead, but I could see her standing there, all white and shiny. She told me she loved me, and no matter what happened, she was proud of me. Told me to remember I was a Tanner and be proud of the name, and not ta do anything to disgrace it. Said we'd be together someday, waved goodbye, and left. Happened a few times after I ran away to the reservation. The first time it happened there, the medicine man explained it to me. Said some people seem to be able to see the spirits after they've left their bodies. Said it had something to do with being sensitive to the spirit world. Most of the time it's been someone that I felt close to, someone I cared about. This is the first time it's happened with a complete stranger. Hell, it's the first time that I've talked with a spirit for longer than a few minutes. Must be something different or special about you, Ezra."
//Vin always did tell me I was special.//
"Laugh it up, Ezra." I could hear his voice laughing gleefully. I could feel my body almost react to his voice. Great. Now I was gettin' a hard-on for a ghost. "Seriously, though, anything like this ever happen to you?"
The laughter finally died. //No, I cannot say that it has. Although when Vin died, he promised me we'd be together again. I held him in my arms, and listened to him tell me he loved me, and watched him take his last breath. I hope you never have to do that, Vin.//
I watched the shimmer of a tear slide from one eye. I almost reached forward to wipe it away. "Would you have rather not known Vin? That would have saved you the heartache," I asked him.
//No, I would suffer the fires of hell and any kind of pain known to mankind first. I've done many things in my life that I regretted, but loving Vin was never one of them. He freed my heart from the cage I'd locked it in and set my soul free. Then he taught my heart how to love again. Even if I could have only had a moment of Vin loving me, it would have been worth any price. As it was, I had years of his love. A whole lifetime would not have been enough, but what I had was worth anything it did or might ever cost me.//
I opened my mouth to answer him, just as a voice called out, "Hey Vin, you wanna come check out your new truck?"
It was Chris and JD. Damned if the cowboy didn't have lousy timing. He could ruin moments better than anyone else I knew. I threw a smile in Ezra's direction before I headed outside to greet them.
JD was climbing out of the driver's seat of my new truck. "Chris let me drive it. I hope you don't mind, Vin. That way he could drive his so you wouldn't have to run us back in later." JD looked a little anxious.
"Of course that ain't no problem, JD. I know that you're a good driver. I have faith in you. 'Sides, ya helped me pick it out, didn't you? How's it drive?"
"Nice. Lots of power, if you ever decide to tow anything. Noticed you had the tow package added just in case. The topper's cool, too. It blends so well you almost think it's part of the truck. I have one question though. What made you decide to get red? I just never pegged you as the red kind. Buck, yes, but not you."
"You might say a ghost whispered in my ear." I could hear Ezra laughing in the background, but JD didn't seem to hear it. He did give me a look that said "whatever" though. Just about then Chris pulled up in the driveway. "Hey cowboy, it's about time you got here. Oughta be ashamed a yourself, lettin' a kid like JD beat ya. Guess ya must be gettin' slow in your old age." Chris climbed out of the truck with a box, shaking his head. I could hear Ezra laughing harder yet in the background. Chris's head popped up. He looked at me, then JD. "What's the matter, Chris?"
"It's the damnest thing," he said. "I could almost swear I heard someone laughing. It sounded familiar, like I should know it somehow. Guess you guys have finally driven me crazy."
I turned my head to look at Ezra on the porch. We both had a slightly shocked look on our faces. Somehow Chris had heard him. Faintly, but still...
"So, pard, you gonna show us around your spread?"
"Depends. What's in the box?" I craned my neck trying to see what was inside, but the box was covered. "Did you get some WD-40?"
"JD's got that." I turned to see JD holding up a bag. "I brought lunch. JD and I decided we'd try that new Thai restaurant over by the office. We told them to make yours hot enough to melt rocks. That make you happy?"
"Yep. I'll even give you a quick tour for that, then ya'll can help me with those stairs." We headed into the house, and I gave them that quick tour, starting with the kitchen where we tucked the food into the fridge. Chris got a cup of coffee, and JD grabbed a Coke from the fridge. Then we headed to the rest of the house, and then upstairs. "This is the master suite. I'm starting work there. The stairs are in here, in the closet."
Chris stopped and stared at me. "The closet?"
"Don't ask, it's a long story." I showed them the closet with the stairs just barely in sight. We got out the WD-40 and started lubing up what we could see. As the stairs started to squeak down, I held JD up so he could crawl up onto them and lubricate the top parts of the stair mechanism. With a little work and a lot of WD-40, we finally got the stairs all the way down and the passageway to the attic beckoned.
JD was already up there waiting. "Man, there must be two or three inches of dust up here. There's some windows. You want me to open them?" his voice echoed down to Chris and I.
"Yeah, how 'bout I get the vacuum and extension cord? Maybe we could suck some of the dust up."
"Sounds good. I'll just get the windows, then I'll wait for you."
Chris and I grabbed the shop-vac and cord from the bathroom, and hauled it up the stairs. After a few minutes of vacuuming, the dust was easier to deal with.
"Anything in particular you're lookin' for, Vin?" JD asked.
"Yeah, the blueprints. I have it on good authority that they're up here somewhere. Other than that, I guess I'm just interested in what's hidden away up here."
We started looking around, each taking a separate area. I saw Chris glance around with a puzzled expression on his face, then he reached for a trunk and started to lift the lid, seemed puzzled again, and then moved to a different trunk, lifted the lid and pulled out a set of plans for the house. "This what you're lookin' for?"
"Yeah, thanks. Chris, can I ask you a question? You had an awful funny stare on your face. What were you thinkin' of?"
Chris shook his head and stared down at the floor for a minute before glancing up into my eyes. "It's the damnedest thing, Vin. It's like I could hear this voice telling me to look over here. When I reached for one trunk, it told me not that one, the one next to it. Weird, huh?"
I peeked out of the corner of my eye and saw Ezra standing by the trunk. I glared at him, and he just smiled and gave me a wide-eyed innocent look.
"Holy shit!" JD exclaimed loudly. "Vin, Chris, come see this. This is just too weird!" Chris and I wandered over to where JD was exploring a trunk. "Check this picture out. Is this for real, Vin, or are you trying to pull a fast one?" He held up what was obviously a wedding picture of JD and Casey.
"Nope, it's for real. When I went to the Historical Society, they told me all about the guy who'd built this house and his friends." I could hear Ezra whispering in my ear.
//In the trunk behind JD should be a picture of all of us. That's my trunk. I have a trunk for everybody. None of us had family, so their things came to us, except for Buck. A lot of his things went to Inez and John, but there still is a trunk full of his things here.//
"Look behind you in that trunk, see if there's a group photo, JD." He turned around and rummaged in the trunk, found the picture, then shut the trunk, sitting down on it, hard. "I was kinda spooked about it myself when Miz Potter at the Society showed me that same picture and gave me some history." I sat down next to him, took the picture, handing it to Chris. After he sat down, I told them what I'd been told by Katherine Potter.
When I'd finished, Chris shook his head and looked at the picture. "So history is repeating itself. Well, almost. We don't have an Ezra Standish. Probably could use him, though."
JD had stood up and was looking at the front of the trunk he'd opened, then he stared at the front of the one I was sitting on. Next he checked out the one Chris was sitting on and worked his way around all the trunks in that area. "JD? What in the hell are you doing? You're getting on my nerves, kid."
"Each one of these trunks has a name on it. This one says JD Dunne. The one Vin's on says Ezra Standish. You're sitting on Josiah's. The one next to you is Nathan's. That's Buck's over there, Chris Larabee's next to his, and next to Vin is Vin Tanner's. Wonder what's in them?" His eyes had such a look of astonishment and awe that Chris started chuckling.
"Only one way to find out. Let's take a peek. Well, if that's okay with the landlord here." I glanced over to see Ezra with shiny, tear-filled eyes. He nodded his head yes. I turned back to Chris and JD and nodded. "Why don't we start with your trunk, JD? Seems like, in the past, you managed to catch Casey. Let's see what else you did. What was important to you in the past?" JD grinned, and he and Chris dived into the first trunk.
~~~~~~~~~~
I headed downstairs and started to warm up the food. I felt a hand on my arm. When I lifted my eyes, I saw Ezra there, his hand resting on my forearm.
//I didn't mean to make you angry.//
"Huh?"
//When I was talking to Mr. Larabee, I just was curious if he could actually hear me. It surprised me, but then maybe it's because he faced down the devil and death more than once. It's closer and more real for him than for young JD.//
"So, do they remind you of their counterparts?"
//So much, yes. JD always had so much energy. He used to make Chris quite crazy with his incessant bouncing and rambling on. Your Chris seems slightly more open than mine. Maybe because, here, he managed to finally get justice for his family. He never really did in my time. True, she died, but so did he. That never seemed quite fair to me. I wish I could meet the rest. I wonder how much like mine they are.//
Just as I started to answer him, the phone rang. I grabbed it. "Tanner."
"Hey, Junior. Just wanted to make sure the invalids got there okay. Yeah, yeah, Nathan, I'll tell him. Nathan says to tell ya not ta let them do too much liftin', 'spec'ly Chris, with that arm a his."
"No problem. Why don't you guys all come out tonight and check on them, see the house? 'Sides, I got something I want ya to see. It's a surprise. I'll tell you when you get here."
"You want us to pick up somethin' fer dinner?"
"Nah, I'll pull some steaks out of the freezer. We'll pick up the rest locally. See ya'll later, then."
//Thank you.//
"What ya thankin' me for?"
//Letting me see the rest. If I could hug you, I might even do that.//
"Won't know 'til ya give it a try." I grinned at him. He grinned back and threw his arms around me, and be damned if I didn't feel them. I carefully wrapped my arms around his waist and felt them covering his back. He looked up into my eyes with that same look of astonishment and awe JD had used earlier. He leaned forward, and I closed my eyes and felt his lips move gently over mine, like a soft breeze. One minute I was holding him, the next I wasn't. He was looking at me and touching his own lips. I stepped forward and reached for him.
"Hey pard, whatcha doin' down here?"
I jumped. "Goddamnit, Larabee! You tryin' ta give me a heart attack? Scare the piss outta a man in his own house, why don'tcha."
He raised his hands in apology. "Sorry, I thought you'd heard me. What were you thinkin' of?"
"Gettin' this food heated up, and then maybe headin' inta Four Corners fer somethin' ta go with steak. Buck called, and he, Josiah and Nathan are comin' ta dinner. Figured we could show 'em what we found in my attic." Chris seemed to accept my explanation, and moved to put some plates on the table and call JD down to eat. Good thing he didn't come any closer until my "think boring thoughts" had solved the problem that had "come up" after Ezra's kiss.
We sat down and ate, as JD and Chris told me what they'd found in the trunk. They'd only looked at a little of it, when they decided to wait for me. They'd moved to the other end of the attic and started looking through the boxes there. They'd found some old holiday decorations, business ledgers and furniture.
"There's this old bed up there, under the eaves. You could lay down and look out, but nobody could see you. Right in front of it was this old mirror, only instead of standing up, it's made to stand the long way. I don't know why. The only way you could see in it is if you were a baby, or maybe if you were lying down. It was a little strange," JD said.
I looked at Chris and saw him smile, and then right behind him, I could see Ezra, his cheeks blushing rose. I couldn't help it. I started to laugh.
"I figured, after we finish eating, we could head into town and pick up some corn, maybe, for dinner. I invited the guys, thought we'd barbecue. Sound okay to you two?" They both nodded. "I thought, after dinner, we could all go up and look through the trunks and see what we could find. Anything we don't want to keep, I figured I'd donate to the Historical Society in town."
"So, if there's something we really like, maybe we could keep it?" JD carefully asked. I lifted my eyebrows in a question. "There's a hat in the trunk, a bowler style. It's just like the one Bat Masterson used to wear."
I chuckled and nodded yes. We finished eating, cleaned up, and headed into town.
~~~~~~~~~~
We found some corn and fresh rolls, even dessert. I'd gotten the steaks out to thaw before we left, so all we had to do when the rest showed up was throw the steaks on the grill and the corn on to roast. We had wandered around town, looking into all the shops and little stores. It had been good for all of us. Chris had relaxed and smiled and laughed along with JD and I. JD had an afternoon of being one of the guys, and not a little brother. Me, I'd had an afternoon with good friends.
We got back to the house just as the other guys arrived. After a backslapping greeting and a beer, we put Josiah to work grilling the food. It was tough, him in his lounge chair, poking at the food every so often. We ate and caught up with what was going on at the office. Over dessert -- homemade apple pie from the local deli -- I told them about what I had learned at the Historical Society, then Chris and JD told them about what we'd found upstairs. Once we'd finished eating, we all headed up to look in the trunks.
We finished going through JD's first. Found a journal he'd kept since he was a kid. The last entry was the day before the date on the telegram to Ezra Standish, informing them of his death and telling him they'd be shipping his belongings back. There was also a telegram informing him that the body, as requested, was being shipped to Four Corners. There was a pair of white-handled guns and a bowler hat. "Just like Bat Masterson wore," JD remarked.
Buck's had a revolver and a picture of him and Inez. Josiah's had a Bible and a wooden cross. Nathan's had medical books, an old medical bag complete with instruments and a back harness with several throwing knives. Chris's trunk had a concho-covered holster with a revolver, a stack of books, and a locket with a picture of his wife and son. It also had a long, black duster and a black cowboy hat. Vin's had a sawed-off rifle, a full-length buckskin coat, cavalry slouch hat, and lastly, an old wanted poster with him on it.
Finally, we came to Ezra's trunk. It contained a flat-brimmed hat of the sort favored by gamblers, a red jacket, and several decks of cards. The weapons we found were a holster and revolver, a second revolver, what was an old-fashioned shoulder holster, and lastly a small 2-shot derringer mounted on a spring-loaded arm mechanism. There was a stack of letters, some from JD, some from Inez, but most were from his mother, Maude. The last item was a journal filled with poetry written out in a careful, shaky print. I leafed through it and realized that the last ones were love poems, obviously written by the other Vin for Ezra.
Each of us carefully kept out these items for ourselves. Buck remarked, "I know a guy who mounts these things for display. If anyone'd be interested, I could have him come by the office and take a look, give you an idea of what it'd cost to have it done." We all nodded our agreement. "I'll give him a call and talk to him." Everyone gathered up what we'd kept out, and they started to leave.
When we reached the door, Chris turned to me. "You still got a bit of time left before you need to get back to work, but I still expect you Sunday at my place for the game." I nodded. "I need to get to work looking for a new undercover agent. Maybe if I don't find anyone, I'll have JD do a search and see if he can find our Ezra Standish. Who knows?" We clasped forearms, and Chris pulled me into a quick hug. "Take care, and I'll see you Sunday."
I watched him drive off before locking up, turning off the lights, and heading up to my room.
I looked around but didn't see Ezra as I settled into bed and started reading the stack of letters. After a few, I set those aside and started reading through the book of poems. I saw Ezra come in the door. "You okay?"
//I've been better, I've been worse. It was wonderful to see everyone; extremely painful to know that I'm not a part of them anymore.//
"Come 'ere. Lay down here, or at least pretend yer laying down." He carefully eased himself up onto the bed and lay down, using me as a pillow. I opened up the book to the back and started reading aloud. I realized that I could feel Ezra's head laying on my shoulder, and his hand on my chest. He seemed to be getting a little more there all the time. I started reading again and recognized how Vin felt about Ezra. The poems showed not only his love, but also his passion. The thought crossed my mind that maybe this wasn't the best idea. Vin's writing was pretty basic and down to earth, and it was making more than my mind interested. What was the saying, "All dressed up and no place to go?" That described how I was feeling.
I could feel Ezra chuckling. //Looks like Vin Jr. likes poetry, too.// Ezra's mouth latched onto a nipple and started suckling.
Two thoughts went through my mind. 1) A ghost was making love to me. And 2) It had obviously been way too long because it felt way too good. I reached over, set the journal on the table, and shut off the light. "Ezra, don't you find this a little strange? I'm alive, yer dead, and we're gettin' ready ta make love."
//Actually, the thing I find strange is that, after a hundred years, I'm finally getting some relief. Well, at least I hope that I will.//
Now that I couldn't see him, or at least see through him, it was a lot easier. I could feel him in my arms. I could feel his hair under my hand, as I pulled his head down to mine. His lips were cool but still tasted incredible. I felt his skin next to mine. "Ezra? What happened to your clothes?"
//Damned if I know. I remember thinking I wished we were skin to skin, and suddenly we were.//
He started spreading kisses over my face, stopping at my lips time after time. I was busy running my hands over his body, stopping at his firm, tight ass. His whole body temperature was lower, slightly cooler than normal, but not enough to feel cold. I moved his legs to either side of my body so he was straddling me and sitting on my chest. I pulled him down so I could lick and taste his skin and nipples. He moaned and moved down, laying on top of me, and carefully aligned our cocks and started gently sliding. I wrapped my arms and legs around his body, and my lips around his lips. I ran my tongue over his lips until he opened up to let me in. Our tongues slid in unison with our bodies. I could feel my body tighten, and I yelled my completion into his mouth.
I slowly came to my senses to find Ezra playing with my hair. I liked that. I liked bein' here with him, makin' love ta him. I wasn't no fool, though. There wasn't much future in lovin' a ghost. I mean makin' love to a ghost.
//One advantage of being a ghost is spunk doesn't stick. Actually, I'm not sure there was any spunk, at least not on my part.//
"It isn't my imagination, is it? You're gettin' a little more 'real' all the time. One of these days, you just might come to life."
//I wish. I looked for me the other day. Well, I looked for the 'now' me, but I don't exist.// He looked at me sadly.
"How could he? You ain't never left, so you couldn't've come back. The rest of us all musta moved on after we died, but for whatever reason, you were trapped here. I wrapped him up a little tighter. "'Sides, I don't want a 'now' Ezra. I happen to be real fond of the 'old west' Ezra. If'n we could just bring you to life, everything would be perfect."
//Yes, but the present Ezra would be able to stay and share your life. I just feel like my time here is running short. Then I'll have to leave you, and I'll have lost two Vin's. I don't know if I can stand that.//
"Then don't leave! I know this sounds like it can't be fer real, but I love you. I wish we could share our lives and this home forever, but I know that isn't possible. But give me as much time as I can have. I'll try to make it enough." I held him as I drifted off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
We spent the rest of the week trying to pretend everything was fine, but there was an elephant in the room and we both knew it. However, we did a good job of ignoring it. It was like I could feel the sand trickling through my fingers and running out. When Sunday finally arrived, I didn't want to go to Chris's. I felt like, if I left, he wouldn't be here when I got back.
//Don't be silly. You go, have a good time. I'll be here when you get back.//
"Got a funny feelin' somethin's gonna happen."
//If it does, there isn't anything you could do to stop it. I don't believe you're stronger than death, deity and the hereafter.//
"Just... let me know. Show me yer okay somehow." I held on tight. I knew, knew he wouldn't be here when I got back.
//I'll leave you a burning bush. It's fine, Vin. Go. I'll see you later.//
I gave him a hug and kiss, and headed for Chris's with a heavy heart.
~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a good game and better company, but I couldn't shake the feeling of loss that hung over me.
"Hey, cowboy. What's making you so edgy tonight?" Chris sat down next to me.
How could I explain to my boss and best friend that I was going to lose my ghost lover? How do you say something like that and not get committed to the funny farm? You don't, so I just shrugged and tried to smile.
"We're friends, Vin. You can tell me anything."
"Nothin' ta tell. Just got a bad feelin' 'bout somethin'. Can't do nothin' but ride it out. Promise, pard, if you could help, I'd let ya." I rose to my feet. "Think I'll head home early. Just ain't good company tonight."
I said my good-byes to the boys and headed home to... Who knew?
~~~~~~~~~~
I knew as soon as I got there he was gone. The house was dark and felt lonely. I let myself in and called out, but no answer. I headed up to my bedroom and looked around, but didn't see anything. Damn it, he'd promised to let me know somehow. 'Course he might not have been able to.
I undressed and slid into bed. I found Vin's book of poems next to the lamp. I could feel the tears clogging my throat as I opened it to find a corner torn from a blank page. Written on it was, VIN, I LOVE YOU! THEN AND NOW AND ALWAYS.
He was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~
My life had finally managed to pull itself together. I'd finished the house. We'd gone through six undercover agents. Things just didn't bother me anymore. Nope, I was fine with Ezra having left, and it was getting easier all the time. After all, it had only been seven months, two weeks, three days, seventeen hours and two minutes.
Chris opened his door and yelled out, "My office! Five minutes!" I could see someone else in the office. Great, a new undercover agent. Wonder how long this one would last. Buck had scared the first one away in record time. He was officially on the team fifty-seven minutes before he quit. The last one had lasted almost two months. Maybe this would be lucky number seven.
We all hurried into Chris's office where he informed us, "I found us a new team member. He came from the FBI where he'd been involved in a deep cover operation. I've already warned him all about you guys, so please give him a chance." The new guy had been standing, staring out the window. "Guys, meet Ezra Standish, lately of Atlanta, Georgia."
He turned around and it was Ezra, my Ezra. No, it had to be the "now" Ezra, but my Ezra had said there wasn't one. He shook hands with everyone else before coming to me. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but it felt like he'd caressed my hand and held it longer than he needed to before letting go.
"Where ya stayin', Ez?" Buck asked.
"Ezra. It's Ezra, Mr. Wilmington. I have reservations at a local hotel."
"Hey, you could stay with one of us. The kid could take the couch and let you have his bed."
I quickly threw in my invitation. "Yer more than welcome ta stay at my house. It's outside a' Denver a ways, but I got lots of room. If'n you ride, I got horses, too." I hoped he'd take me up on the offer, so I could get some time alone with him and see if he was my Ezra.
"If you're willing to have an old gambler stay with you, that sounds wonderful. I do ride, though it's been a great many years since I've been on a horse."
It was sounding more and more like this was my Ezra, and he was trying to let me know. Guess all that I could do was wait until we could talk.
"Well, if that's settled, why don't we all leave a little early and head to the Saloon and get something to eat?" Chris pushed us all out of the door, and we stopped long enough to load Ezra's things into my truck. Josiah rode along with us, so I couldn't even talk on the way.
Ezra, not too surprisingly, had ordered the Gambler's Special and a whiskey once we'd gotten there, settled in, and placed our orders. I was too nervous to eat much, so I had a beer and shared some nachos with Buck and JD. Chris explained to Ezra about why he'd been so surprised when he'd met him, told him all about my house and the seven men that had protected the town of Four Corners. Ezra just smiled at me and said, "Well, then, it must have been fate that I should find my way here where I belong."
I just smiled back and started praying for this meal to be finished so I could get Ezra alone.
~~~~~~~~~~
Eventually, everyone finished up, and I got Ezra loaded up in my truck and headed for my house. "You know," he said, "red is my favorite color."
This was making me crazy! How do I ask him? How do you say to someone, "Excuse me, but did you used to be a ghost haunting my house?" How was I going to ask the question so I could get the answer that I had to have?
We got to the house, grabbed his suitcase and went in. I started to give him the grand tour when I felt myself slammed against the door, a body pressed into mine and lips all over me. Oh god! It felt so good. It was standing in the sun after a long cold, rainy spell.
"Ezra, this better be you and not some sex-crazed modern version."
"Shut up and kiss me."
So I did what I was told. Somehow we managed to make it to the second floor. He stopped in front of the room I'd been using, so I kept pushing until we reached the master suite. By the time we hit the bed, we were both ready and naked. He pushed me onto the bed, climbed on top, and started devouring me whole. He was so warm and alive, unlike the last time we'd been together.
"Lube," he muttered, in amongst kisses.
"Huh?" One of my more intelligent statements, if I have to say so myself.
He managed to pull his mouth off mine long enough to say, "I've been checking this out on the Internet. We need slippery stuff. Lube is what they call it now."
"I know what lube is, Ezra. There's a tube in the bathroom."
"Why?"
"Why what?" Damn, if he'd just stop wiggling maybe my brain would work.
"Why do you have lube?" Well, he stopped wiggling, but now he was glaring at me. "Who else have you been seeing?"
He was jealous! I smiled, even as I answered, "It's called physicals, Ezra. They do rectal exams, and require you use an enema before." I grabbed his face and held it between my hands and stared into his eyes. "The truth is that I've never been in love before now. I'm not saying there haven't been people in my bed, but there hasn't been anyone since someone started haunting me." I gave him a kiss. "Now go get the lube and make love to me."
He gave me that shit-eating grin of his and climbed off the bed, headed for the master bath. After a few moments, he returned waving the lube like a trophy. He crawled back up onto both the bed and me. "I missed you."
I wrapped my arms around him. "I missed you, too. I thought I'd lost you forever. You, at least, knew you were coming back."
"Vin, it wasn't my fault. They--"
I put my lips next to his ear and my finger on his mouth. "Shh, later." I nibbled on his earlobe and felt him tremble. He sucked my finger into his warm mouth, and I shuddered. "Make love to me."
He slid his way down my body, kissing as he went. He stopped to taste my nipples, which made me basically boneless and brainless. Figure he got the message that I liked that. I felt his lubed finger slide in, and shortly after a second and third joined it. Between the fingers up my butt and the lips on my chest, I almost lost it. "T-too much. Now. In me. Now!"
The monster was chuckling, but he did as ordered and slowly slid home. It had been way too long. I'd forgotten how good this could feel. But to be truthful, it had never felt this good. Guess loving the person really did make a difference. He just kept sliding in and out slowly, taking the time to roll my sac and play with my nipples.
I didn't even have time to warn him. One minute I was getting wound tighter and tighter like a spring about to break, the next I was unraveling into space.
Everything grayed around the edges for a few minutes. When it finally came back into focus, it seemed like everything was sharper and more colorful, more real. I realized Ezra was collapsed on my chest and slowly coming back to me.
I saw the tears in his eyes as he buried his face into the crook of my neck. "You okay, darlin'?"
He lifted his head and nodded before adding, "I can't believe how lucky I am. I've had true love in life not once, but twice. Some people never have that kind of love, ever. I had a family in the peacekeepers before, and I believe I'll have that again. Of course, I was told it was owed me."
"You gonna explain how this happened? One minute yer a ghost, and the next ya come back alive." I sat up in bed, stuffed pillows behind me, tipped back against the headboard, and pulled him up into my lap. He leaned his head back onto my chest and settled himself between my legs. "So? You gonna talk to me and tell me what happened between then and now?"
"So much of it is fuzzy, like a dream, but I'll tell you what I can." He made himself a little more comfortable, then I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on the top of his head. "Right after you left that night, an angel appeared. Well, that's the only way I know to describe it. He... she... whatever, told me it was time to go. I begged to stay but the answer was no. I asked if I could leave a message and was allowed a moment to scribble you that note. I wanted to wait and tell you good-bye, but I wasn't allowed."
"The next thing I was aware of was being in a room, and I could hear people arguing about what to do with me. Finally one 'angel' stood up and said that I had redeemed myself, and because of errors on others' parts... The angel stopped and glared at a few other angels before continuing and saying that, because of those errors, I had been cheated of my life and happiness. An opportunity now existed because those 'errors,' all of those errors, were being corrected, and I was being offered a second chance at life. There was no time to be spared. The plans were in place, and I had to make my choice. I was told that I could remain there and wait until the rest of you rejoined me, or I could return to life and take what happened, no guarantees as to how long I'd have or how my life would turn out. They did give me one concession, and that was leaving me with my memories intact so I would remember my past and you."
"As soon as I said yes, it was like my mind was being flooded with information. Who I was going to be in this life, all of my past history, my education... Everything. Even Mother. Apparently Maude was given a second chance, and she also exists in this time period. We still seem to have the same love-hate relationship, but somehow it makes me feel a little better knowing that she wasn't damned for all eternity."
"They delivered me to this location in Georgia, where I was supposedly deep undercover, and put the plan in motion. Once I'd finished that stint undercover, I found that Chris Larabee was asking about me, and since I already had a somewhat shady reputation among the FBI, I was more than happy to leave. Actually, I was thrilled. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. There had been obstacles and problems in my life history, so I really thought that I was going to have to wait some time before finding you again."
I thought on what he'd said. "Maybe Chris upset their apple cart. I think he put JD to work to see if 'Ezra Standish' existed. I think it was his nosiness that got you here so soon. He just can't resist an unfinished puzzle or an unanswered question, and I think the fact that out of seven old-time peacekeepers, he'd managed to build a team out of only six of them, that somewhere he'd missed one... Well, I think that was making him slightly crazy."
"It could be. Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for it. I missed you, I really missed you." He twisted in my arms before continuing, "I need to tell you this now, just in case something would happen. Actually, I plan to tell you this everyday... Vin, I love you. I love you so much it makes my heart ache sometimes."
"Do you love me as Vin come back to you or as me?"
"As you. You're an interesting blend of the original Vin and yourself. Some of the time I see what Vin would have been if he'd had the chance. Other times you do something that I can't remotely see Vin doing. But it doesn't matter. He was my past, and you are my present and future. I loved him, but he's gone. I suppose a part of me will always love him, the way you hold that spot for your first love. Now, though, my heart is filled with the love I have for you."
I kissed him and held him tight. "I think we should start dating."
He looked up at me with a confused look. "I beg your pardon?"
"I think we should start dating."
He opened his mouth as if to say something and then closed it. He looked really cute when he had a dumbfounded stare on his face. "I don't understand. Why should we have to date?" he whined as he asked. "I mean we already know each other."
"Yeah, but the guys don't know that. We can't admit to them that we got to know each other as you were haunting me, and they know I'm not the sort to just do a casual fling, especially with a co-worker. So if I ask you out for a date while the other guys are there, and we date for a little bit, then they won't be so surprised when you never look for a place of your own and just stay here with me. 'Cuz you are staying. I don't plan on ever letting you out of my life. I don't let go of what's mine, and yer mine."
He slowly smiled. "Does this mean that you are mine?" I nodded yes. "Then I would love to date you."
We both settled down into bed with him using me as a pillow. Tomorrow I'd show him what I'd done with the house, and we could plan out our lives together. Damn, if that didn't have a nice ring to it. Together!
End
Comments to: turtle7761@yahoo.com