Authors Note: This story is in response to the The Bet story challenge issued by Luna Dey. The guys' behavior is somewhat out of character, but it explores what they might do if they were terribly bored and broke. It is not intended to offend anyones sensibilities. Although it contains content that might be considered questionable to some readers, it is not a slash piece. All activities are purely for the purposes of the bets. It is meant to be all in good fun.
Many thanks to everyone that has allowed their pictures and screen captures to be used for the Bet stories. Thanks to Wen at the Sharpshooter, Marg at Blackraptor. Also, Thanks to Luna Day for her help in Beta reading and adding suitable pic's and for her warm encouragement allowing me to write this challenge
Disclaimer: I do not own them. They are the property of MGM, Mirisch, and Trilogy Entertainment.
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated, but no flames please.
All the men in the room were silent as they waited to hear the next challenge issued, and the spectators were keen to know who had won the last hand. The excitement over the previous challenge had made them all forget to look and take note of all the hands played out onto the table, because they had been interested only in who had been the losers.The Seven knew who had won the previous hand and had kept silent, waiting for their leader, Chris Larabee, to speak before the new hands were dealt. You could hear a pin drop just before Chris broke the silence, and it was at that instant the spectators realized who was in charge of this challenge. An uproar broke out as they speculated on what he would come up with. Men were placing bets on who would lose next and if they would succeed in the challenge.
They were silenced by a sudden black glare that Larabee turned in their direction. That look effectively reduced the excited chatter to a mere whisper once more. Chris had a reputation to uphold, and he winked back at his men knowing how his stare had worked on the overzealous crowd around them.
"Now, gentlemen, I have thought long and hard and my challenge to you all is ." Chris hesitated deliberately. He had given considerable thought to this challenge. He had come up with a real beauty and if he lost, well, he knew he could do it. He grinned inwardly at his deviousness, and he thought as their leader he had to use his initiative and come up with a real inventive challenge and this was definitely inventive. " ..is for the person with the lowest hand to stand outside on the board walk and drink a glass of beer ."
The men around him grinned, and he saw their faces were full of the certainty that their leader had given them the easiest challenge ever, but he hadnt quite finished and this should wipe the smiles off their faces.
Buck whooped with delight and slapped JD hard on the back, sure of success if he lost.
" .and this must be done standing on your head!" He smiled broadly for all to see and started to chuckle as they began to work it out.
"Huh!" was the response from Buck and JD in unison.
"Mr. Larabee, do you infer that we should drink the beer from its container in this upside down position?" asked Ezra somewhat puzzled.
"Yes, and you're not allowed to use your hands!"
"What?" roared Buck. "It cant be done!"
"Yes it can, and it must be done within fifteen minutes!"
"Sounds impossible to me," JD grumbled.
The cards are dealt. A loud groan went up from the table and Chris grinned even more, thumped his Best friend on his back, and urged him out into the street! The others were relieved because everyone in the room except the one who issued the challenge thought it was impossible.
Vin grumbled and took off his jacket and placed his hat on the top of it before he turned to Chris. "Hey, if I do this what do I get?"
"A glass of beer!" chuckled Buck
"I will buy your beer for the rest of the week up until pay-day!" Chris sounded confident.
"And if I lose " Vin groaned sure that he already knew what was coming.
"You buy all mine, Cowboy!"
Vin started to follow Larabee outside, but Chris placed a hand on his shoulder to halt him. "Think you've forgotten something else Vin?"
"Such as?"
"You could do a lot of damage to yourself with those spurs!"
"Ah, Hell, suppose I better take them off eh?"
"Would be safer Vin. Dont want any accidents," Chris agreed.
The men crowded round Vin out on the boardwalk as he stood gazing at the wooden frame of the building and then at the floor.
"Come on Vin or are you Chicken?" teased Buck.
"Shut up, Buck, or Ill shoot ya!" Vin growled and glowered at him, then looked once more at the floor as he contemplated his best course of action. Since he hadn't done this sort of thing since he was in the orphanage, and that was years ago, he wondered how best to go about standing on his head
"Mr. Tanner, whats holding up the proceedings?" Ezra asked as he moved to stand at Vins side.
"Huh?" Vin stared at him and then grumbled, "working up ta it!"
Chris pushed through the crowd holding a full mug of beer and approached the tracker. "It wont hurt you, Vin. Its only wood!"
"Dont want any splinters!"
"Its your head goin on it not your a ." JDs words are cut off by a sharp glare from Chris and a slap on the head from Buck
Come on Vin or our beer will be getting flat!" Buck grumbled.
"Okay, okay!"
Vin concentrated on the job ahead. He looked around until he found a smooth level place and tried to get up onto his head.
As Vin bent down into a squatting position he placed his hands to the side near the wall. He broke out into a sweat. When he leaned down to place his head onto the boardwalk his stomach took a little lurch as it protested this strange position of his body. He let out a rather loud belch to the amusement of the onlookers.
"Mr. Tanner!" Ezra tried to keep a straight face at his friend's antics, as he squatted on the floor with his head nearly between his thighs. That in itself was a rare sight indeed, but he felt he had to pronounce his dismay at his lack of manners when out in public. "If you must do that in public, it is only polite to pardon oneself!"
"Ezra " Vin said through clenched teeth.
"Yes, Mr. Tanner."
"Shut the hell up."
"Well . that's gratitude for you, try to teach a little etiquette " Ezra rattled on, only to be interrupted by a growl from the sharpshooter. Standish let out a soft snort of distaste. "Understood, Mr. Tanner, I am 'shutting the hell up.'"
Vin concentrated again and leaned more into the task. His bottom raised higher and higher as his legs tried to push himself up off the ground. The sight of Vin's jean clad rump facing Buck was just too tempting to stand back and do nothing, so he encouraged those around him with much nudging and gesturing to take a thwack at it. JD knew better that to even consider it, and shook his head no in fear of the tracker's wrath. The only one to take up the challenge was Chris Larabee, who slapped the firm rear so sharply and quickly that those not right next to them missed the event entirely, apart from hearing the howl that was unleashed from Vin.
Vin jerked upright and the display of anger in his dark eyes as he stared at the onlookers was even blacker than Larabees.
"What ya go and do that fer?" he growled with his fists clenched and his mouth tight. "Who did it?" He pounced instantly for JD and grabbed at the front of his shirt. "It was you!" he growled.
Chris stepped in and tapped him on the shoulder and shook his head. "Nope, wasnt JD!" Chris admitted with a twinkle in his eyes.
Vin released JD and turned to face his leader, so stunned that he could only mouth in silence, "Cowboy?" He would have never dreamed that their illustrious leader, Chris Larabee, would do such a thing.
The tracker shook his head and glanced repeatedly back to Chris, still unable to believe that he had hit him. He took up his position once more with a firm warning. "Anyone else goes near my butt, Ill shoot em!"
All Vins friends were holding their sides from laughing so hard, and Buck and Nathan had tears running down their cheeks at the sight. Vin vowed to remember to shoot them when he got his gun, but Larabee was first on his hit list.
Vin bent down again and wondered what they would do to him next, 'cause he was sure that they would get up to something new to taunt him. It was in their nature, especially that Buck!
His head spun as he raised his legs up against the wall to the sound of much applause. He felt slightly nauseous as some beer regurgitated into his mouth, but he couldnt do anything else but swallow. Then items started to fall from his pockets. "Darn it!" he mumbled and he fell to the ground with a bump as he tried hurriedly to collect his belongings.
"Hey, Tanner, thought you said ya were broke?" Buck said accusingly, as he chased after a silver dollar that was rolling down the boardwalk. Chris had picked up Vins battered mouth organ and a bit of string, as Vin had grabbed at a piece of paper he didnt wish anyone to see and stood up to collect his other belongings.
"I'll look after them for you, if you want?" Chris grinned at Vin and opened his hand for the other items. Vin pressed the paper into Chriss palm, and Buck handed over Vins dollar. Without looking closely, Chris placed them in his top pocket and buttoned it firmly. "Nothing else on you that is likely to fall out, Pard?" asked Chris. Vin turned on his leader and stared with a wicked glint in his eye, having thought of something to get back at him for that slap to his butt earlier.
"Possible ..got something else hidden in my jeans."
Chriss eyes widened with surprise, not sure where this could be leading too.
JD had just taken a mouth full of beer, and at Vins next utterance he sprayed it all over himself and Buck.
"Got a foot in my jeans, Larabee!"
Vin saw the look of shock appear in Chriss eyes, and he grinned knowing he had shocked them all with this revelation. Out of the corner of his eye he had seen JD spray Buck with his beer and saw Bucks jaw drop nearly to the floor. Ezras face went pale, Josiahs eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline, and he got a quizzical look from Nathan, who tilted his head to the side as if to say, "Oh, Yeah!"
An onlooker shouted from behind Buck, "Yer a liar, Tanner!"
Vins face grew black at this taunt, and he glared in the direction of the small man hiding behind Buck. "Dont lie." He looked back into Chriss eyes and nodded his head ever so slightly. "Dont like being called a liar neither. Ill show ya all!"
He kept a straight face as the crowd silenced around him. He very suggestively placed his hand onto the waistband of his jeans and flicked his eyes to Larabee's. He could have laughed, but that would have spoiled the fun for him. He made as if to move towards his fly button, but with his other hand he quickly reached in his pocket, pulled out an item, and waved it in front of them all, resulting in much groaning from the spectators.
"See told ya the truth, said I had a foot in my jeans!" He openly winked at Chris and grinned at the others before he placed a large rabbits foot into Chriss hands and turned back to his challenge, as he still overheard taunts coming from Buck.
"Hey, so thats how you git ladies hanging round ya Vin!" Buck roared. "Some of them might be rather disappointed to discover it was only a rabbits foot in them there jeans of yourn!"
Vin in this upside down position felt really funny. His body felt strange and his nether regions were hanging in a rather peculiar fashion that worried him greatly as his shirt came untucked from his jeans. His shirt had fallen down revealing his undershirt and Nathan had to get his two cents worth in.
"Vin, how much clothing are you wearing!" Nathan made a great show of counting the layers and pulling at the cloth releasing it further from his jeans.
"Awe, Nate!" groaned Vin, who hated to show his nakedness in front of strangers.
"You will get sick if you keep wearing all them clothes boy, should shuck a few now and then!" Nathan chuckled as he left the tracker alone, having teased him enough.
Vin was about to groan once more, but he over heard a comment from JD that brought a smile to his lips instead.
"Yeah, you know all about shuckin' clothes, right Buck!"
"Yes, Mr. Dunne," Ezra added. "But, I think Mr. Jackson means not to wear so many at once while out and about, and we all know that our Mr. Wilmington only takes off his layers when .."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, .." intoned Buck in a loud, not so amused, voice at having the joke turned on him.
His shirt was falling over his face, and he nearly lost his balance as he pushed it off. His hair had fallen all around him and also had gotten under his hands where it had made him wince more than once as he found himself tangled up in his own hair.
He groaned when he saw his bare torso and stomach and preyed that his trousers stayed snug enough and that he didnt slip out of them since they were looser, and somewhat baggy, now that the shirts were no longer tucked into the band.
He was concentrating on his own problem of not embarrassing himself by exposing any more of his anatomy when he felt something soft starting to tickle at him. "Ah, hell," he groaned. He knew it had been too good to be true. Buck was attacking him with a feather and had not only stroked it across his belly, but now he was tickling one of his nipples. "Ah, Hell," he growled again as he fell over.
More beer was spilled when the big jug that Chris had set aside for refilling Vin's mug got upset when Vin fell over, soaking not only his hair but his jeans and shirt. The shirt clung to his skin and his pants were soaked, especially at the groin.
"Looks as though yave pissed yer pants boy!" Buck teased, from where he now stood, well back out of the way. "Must have been all that beer yave been drinkin" Vin glared at his friend and hoped to get his revenge later.
He was back upside down and nearly got his balance when one of the town's dogs came to get a closer look at this new object in town. It started to sniff, and Vin got the awful feeling that the male dog had other ideas. Before the dog got a chance, the tracker fell down, nearly squashed the animal in the process, and made it run off howling down the street in fright. He wiped more spilled beer from his face and hair and attempted the challenge once again.
Vin tried again and this time was better. He got his balance quickly, and Chris placed the beer mug close to his head. Vin tried to work how to drink it, but the mug fell over a few times soaking his hair more in the process.
"Is that a new method of washing your hair, Mr. Tanner!" inquired Ezra. He chuckled knowing he was out of the tracker's line of sight and hoped he wouldnt remember his teasing afterwards.
Chris had been watching the time and alerted Vin that he had only 5 minutes left to drink the beer.
"All of it?"
"Yes!"
Vin concentrated and tried to get at the beer in the glass but couldn't work it out. The beer glass either tipped over, or he couldn't get his brain to work out how to get his mouth to drink upside down.
Josiah stepped forward and wiped Vins face for him and pushed his hair helpfully back out of the way.
"Thanks!" murmured Vin.
"No problem, brother!"
Buck, not to be outdone, moved in and bent down next to Vin to add, "Hey, you missed a bit brother Josiah!" and Buck proceeded to wipe off the remaining trickles of beer that were running down the bridge of Vins nose and into his eyes with his tongue! Bystanders roared with laughter at the startled look on Tanner's face.
Spluttering and trying to push Buck off him, Vin toppled over once more and spilled even more beer on himself in the process.
The tracker pushed Buck away from him and growled. He tried one more time, all the while muttering to himself about going to go and buy more cartridges for his gun because he needed more ammunition if he planned to shoot them all.
"Thirty seconds .Twenty seconds ..Ten seconds "
A roar went up when the time ran out and Vin lost. He collapsed, exhausted onto the boardwalk just as Mary Travis strolled over to see what was going on this time.
"Vin, you okay down there?" she asked with concern.
"Fine, just fine," he answered tiredly.
She bent down and sniffed at him. She reeled at the strong odor that surrounded him. "Mr. Tanner, you appear to be very wet and smell of beer!"
"Yes Maam, and just a little broke, and it looks like I'll be that way for some time to come!"
"Why do you say that, Vin?"
"'Cause it looks like I gotta buy all Chriss beer until next pay day!" he glowered over at Chris and saw Larabee still grinned at him. Vin wanted to get his own back, and with Mary hanging around it will be just the right time to do it too.
The challenge was explained to her and Vin nodded towards Chris. "Chris, you said this can be done. Go on and prove it!"
Chris glared at Vin and saw the challenge in the tracker's eyes that just dared him to back out. There were too many onlookers to decline, and with Mary Travis watching he would have to make sure he got it right first time or he would never live this down ... his reputation counted on it!
Chris took his time, placed his head onto the boardwalk, and flipped up onto his head in one easy action, just as if he had been doing this for years. In truth, he hadnt done this for a while and hoped he still could.
The crowd applauded his skill and many stared in utter amazement at the sight of Chris Larabee, famous gunman, standing on his head. Vin placed a full glass of beer near Chriss head, and the tracker couldn't help but whisper low enough for only him to hear. "Go for it Cowboy, and show ME how its done, but if you spill a drop Ill do what Buck did!"
They stared at each other, both knew that Vin would carry out his threat.
A silence fell over the crowd as Chris started to tip up the glass by catching it in is mouth. He tipped it up onto its side, using his mouth and the floor for support. He tipped it up gradually allowing the beer to flow into his mouth. Soon, the glass has emptied enough for him to flip it off the ground and drink it while holding it in his mouth by his teeth. There was complete silence, and many mouths hung open, until all the beer was gone and not a drop had been spilled. Chris flipped back onto his feet and ceremoniously placed the now empty beer glass in Tanner's hand. Larabee gave him a wink before he returned to the bar for the next game of cards. He brushed off the cheers of all those around him as if it was a trick that he did ten times a day.
Vin stared after his friend and shook his head before he followed in his leader's wake. 'Just goes to shows ya ' Vin thought. 'Guess ya do learn something new every day after all! ..And he didnt even spill one drop.'
END
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