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Learning to Improvise…
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Nathan opened the door to the clinic, and held it open, giving Josiah easy access. The dark man frowned as he glanced at the gambler still lying unnaturally still in Josiah’s arms. On one hand, the healer was relieved that Ezra hadn’t started to come around yet. It meant getting him to the clinic, and treating his injuries would be a lot easier. He could stitch the scalp wound, and deal with the knife, without causing his patient any further pain if he did it while Ezra was still unconscious.On the other hand, Nathan was concerned that the conman hadn’t given any sign of returning to the land of the living yet. It really hadn’t been that long, but Nathan didn’t find that fact terribly reassuring. Head injuries were tricky. Even the doctors he’d assisted during the war were never sure how a man would recover after one. Most of the time is wasn’t cause for serious concern. The patient woke with a headache, some nausea, and usually lacking a clear memory of what had happened just prior to sustaining the injury. Nathan tried not to think about the more severe cases he’d seen where the patient never woke up at all, or failed to recover full use of his facilities.
He took a deep breath. //No reason ta think he won’t wake up jus’ fine. Ain’t as bad as other hits to the head I’ve seen. Jus’ have to treat what I can and hope for the best. No point in borrowing trouble.//
Vin slipped in just behind the preacher, as silent as a shadow. Normally, the healer didn’t like having too many people crowed into the clinic when he was working. Too many bodies in the small room just got in the way, and made his job that much more difficult. But Nathan was actually glad to have Vin present. //Ezra is easier to work with when Vin’s around. Real glad Chris remember that and sent him along.//
"Get him settled on the bed, Josiah. Nice and easy."
The big man nodded, and moved to lay his burden down, using the same care with which he’d picked him up off the saloon floor. He was, again, very careful not to jar the right shoulder, or disturb the knife still buried to the hilt. Josiah looked pensive, his hand moving to almost touch the conman’s pale face once he had settled him on the narrow cot. The former preacher sighed softly, and then tenderly tilted Ezra’s face, positioning his head so that the gash above his temple was readily visible and easy for Nathan to reach. Josiah removed his hand with a look of regret and longing ghosting over his features. It was obvious the man wanted to prolong the contact, but he didn’t.
Nathan shook his head, finding Josiah’s behavior odd. //Wonder what that was about? Seems lately…last month or so, anyway, that he’s been real careful about not getting too close to Ezra. Didn’t seem to affect them bein’ friends though. If anything, they seem ta get along better now than they did ‘fore. Just plan odd that. Guess it don’t matter right now. Got more important things ta do at the moment.//
Nathan turned way to stoke the fire, and made sure the kettle had water in it. He checked his supply of clean bandages, his needles and thread, and nodded in satisfaction. The herbs, he and Josiah had collected earlier, would not be ready for use yet, but at least he didn’t have to worry about using his current supply sparingly. //Gonna want some willow bark tea for sure. Will help Ezra with the headache I know he’s gonna have.//
When Nathan turned back, ready to treat his patient, Vin had moved to crouch near the far side of the cot. Nathan hadn’t even heard or seen him move. //Ain’t natural for a man to be that quiet. Like some ghost.//
Unlike Josiah, the tracker didn’t seem at all hesitant about touching Ezra. Nathan was surprised by how swiftly Vin managed to undo Ezra’s jacket, vest and shirt. Long fingers moved with a deft, if slightly trembling touch, easily slipping tiny pearl buttons free. Vin gently pulled open Ezra’s clothing, exposing most of his chest, but he waited for Nathan before actually removing anything.
Nathan wondered why Vin might be shaking. He quickly checked him over for any wound he might have missed earlier. //Didn’t see him get hit. But it would be just like him not to say anythin’. Damn fool.//
The healer noticed Vin was a bit pale, and his jaw was clenched tightly, but other than that seemed to be in one piece. He frowned. //Might just be left over from the fight. Know some men get like that. Never known Vin ta get the shakes though. Always figured was the sort ta be rock steady no matter what. Guess you never can tell with people. Seem ta remember Ezra bein’ like that when Vin got hurt. Hmmm...might be they are better friends than I thought.//
Nathan raised both eyebrows when Vin moved a hand to barely touch the odd looking, yet beautiful pendant Ezra was wearing. Long fingers traced the interwoven components. Vin took a deep breath, and carefully moved the short chain Ezra was wearing. He placed it higher on Ezra’s throat, sliding the pendant around the back and out of Nathan’s way. //Handles that like it’s mighty damn important. Never saw Ezra with a necklace on ‘fore, but it sure looks like Vin might know somethin’ about it.//
Nathan decided he’d worry about the oddities he’d noticed later. He had a patient to attend to. Nathan bent over Ezra, clean cloth held in one hand. He moved the clean cloth under Ezra’s clothes, and positioned it close to where he could feel the knife. With his other hand he gripped the hilt.
"Josiah, grab his legs." Nathan ordered, never looking back, confident he’d be obeyed, his focus remaining on Ezra. "Vin…hold that left shoulder. Don’t want him moving while I do this."
He waited for the others to position themselves. Then in one smooth move, he pulled the knife free, and swiftly moved the bandages to staunch the resulting blood flow.
The gambler moaned softly, and tried to pull away, fighting against the hands working to restrain him.
Vin leaned into to speak to Ezra in a hushed, reassuring tone. "Easy, Ez. It’s okay. Gotta let Nate do his thing here. Know it hurts, but it won’t for long. Jus’ rest easy, and he’ll be done in no time."
Ezra still wasn’t quite conscious, but Nathan took it as a good sign that he was hearing Vin, and responding to him. The gambler no long struggled against them. //Don’t know how long that will last so better get it done.//
"Okay." Nathan took a breath, and sent a quick glance toward his assists. "You two think ya can get these clothes off? Will be easier to work with without all the layers he likes ta wear getting in the way."
Vin nodded, blue eyes never leaving Ezra’s face. Josiah answered with a soft, "Of course, brother." Nathan kept steady pressure on Ezra’s shoulder wound while they worked around him.
Between Vin, and Josiah, the gambler was stripped out of his clothes in short order. Josiah took the time to made sure each article was folded or hung neatly. Nathan rolled his eyes at that, but knew better than to comment aloud. He was sure neither of the other men would appreciate what he might say.
//Ain’t worth the bother. But Ezra sure does set a lot of store by his fancy things. No arguing that he takes good care of them. Man will be real upset if that jacket is ruined. Red one is his favorite.//
Nathan focused his attention back to the wounded man before him. He was pleased to note the shoulder wound was not as serious as he’d feared. The knife had punctured muscle, but hadn’t hit any major blood vessels, or cut tendons. So while, painful, it wasn’t debilitating, nor would it have any lasting impact on Ezra once it healed.
//Man is mighty damn lucky.// Nathan nodded, relieved that it wasn’t more serious. //Just need to keep it clean, and covered. Maybe wear a sling for a day or two. Will want to check on it for a few days to be on the safe side, but it should heal just fine without too much trouble.//
The scalp wound had bled a lot, as head injuries were prone to do. Nathan had learned not to be overly concerned by the amount of blood that flowed from a head wound. It could be disconcerting, but even minor cuts tended to bleed freely.
Nathan cleaned the wound, pleased to see it had stopped bleeding so quickly. //Few stitches is all is should take.// He threaded the sterile needle, and with quick, neat stitches set about repairing the damage. The bruising was already starting to come to the surface. //Gonna be have some real pretty colors for a day or two.//
Ezra moaned, and tried to turn his head away from Nathan’s touch. The healer simply moved with him, keeping his movements steady. He’d learned how to move with his patients over the years, not losing his steadiness or stopping, knowing the importance of maintaining his concentration at all times, speed was often vital. //Good skill to have, but I’m real sorry to have learned it working on friends.//
Ezra shifted again, his eyes fluttering open. //About time.// Nathan breathed a bit easier, feeling relieved that at last the gambler was waking.
Vin moved a hand to cup Ezra’s face, preventing any further movement so that Nathan could finish. "Easy, Ez. Nate is almost done."
Unfocused green eyes blinked again. Ezra stared blankly at Vin for a long moment. "Cheri?"
Nathan raised his eyebrows thinking that Ezra must be confused. He vaguely recognized the French word. On of the ladies who’d helped him escape to the North had a French maid. The woman was prone to intermixing French and English. Nathan had picked up a handful of words in the three weeks he’d stayed there. //Don’t think he would be calling one o’ us ‘sweetheart’. Kind o’ makes me wonder who he thinks he’s talkin’ to.//
But the tracker smiled warmly, clearly not bothered or worried by the endearment. His thumb moved to caress Ezra’s cheekbone. "You doin’ okay there, Pard?"
Ezra frowned slightly as if unsure why Vin would be asking him that. "Think so." The gambler answered hesitantly, his voice lacking its usual smooth, confident tone. He blinked again, and flinched as Nathan worked in another stitch.
Ezra sighed softly, and tried to move away from what had hurt him. A flash of panic appeared in his glassy eyes when he realized he couldn’t. Before he could act out of fear, and struggle against them, possibly hurting himself, Vin was offering words meant to soothe and keep him calm.
"It’s okay, Ez. It’s okay." Vin’s words were soft, almost a croon. "Just me an’ Josiah keepin’ ya still. We’ll let ya up as soon as he’s finished. Yer okay."
Nathan was pleased that it seemed to work. //Don’t know why Vin can keep him calm, just real glad he can. One more stitch and I’m done.//
Ezra’s eyes focused on Vin again. "Clinic?"
"Yeah." Vin nodded, his hand moving from Ezra’s face to pat his left shoulder. "You’re in the clinic."
"Damn."
The curse was soft, but emphatic. Josiah chuckled quietly from the foot of the cot where he was still firmly pinning Ezra’s lower body. The big man patted Ezra’s leg, clearly relieved. "Looks like our brother is on his way back to us."
Nathan nodded as he tied off his last stitch, and set aside his instruments. He took Ezra’s chin in one hand. He turned gently turned the conman’s face toward him, wanting to see the man’s eyes. //Pupils ain’t quite even.// Nathan held up two fingers. "Ezra…how many fingers do you see?"
Ezra’s eyes moved from the fingers Nathan held in front of him to Nathan’s face. His eyes widened slightly and then in a sudden, unexpected move, he reached out and captured Nathan’s wrist. He tried to sit up, but Vin held him in place preventing him from moving far."Whoa there, Ez."
"Mr. Jackson…you are uninjured?" Ezra looked concerned, eyes trying to maintain their focus on Nathan’s face.
Nathan looked at him in surprise. "I’m fine. Only one hurt was you."
Ezra closed his eyes, and relaxed back into the cot with a soft sigh. "Wasn’t certain if I…had managed to impede that cowardly miscreant’s plan to assault your unguarded flank."
Nathan smiled, pleased that Ezra seemed clear-headed, and coherent. //Least wise he’s as hard to understand as he usually is. Was worried there for a bit when he didn’t seem to know Vin.// "You can talk like that, I think you’re gonna be just fine."
Ezra’s eyes opened again, and sought Vin. "You are well, Mon Ami?"
Nathan frowned slightly at the way Ezra addressed Vin. The conman typically used words the rest of them didn’t quite comprehend but he seldom outright addressed them in a foreign language. //And it ain’t like him to not use a proper names. He never uses nicknames. Hell, he rarely uses our first names. Well, he uses Vin’s a bit more of late…and Chris once in a while. But he just called me Mr. Jackson, so why wouldn’t he be calling Vin, Vin or Mr. Tanner?//
Vin smiled. He didn’t seem at all bothered, by how Ezra addressed him. "Fine." The tracker’s smile slipped. "Scared the hell out o’ me when ya went down like that."
"Frightened me too, s…" Josiah cleared his throat, "Ezra." Josiah’s bass rumbled softly as he shifted his weight off the prone gambler. Josiah shook his head, blue eyes shadowed. "Thought for a moment you were dead."
"My apologies." Ezra sighed again, his contrition obvious in his tone. He squinted slightly as his gaze shifted from Josiah to Vin. "Believe me, Mr. Sanchez, it was not my desire to suffer impairment, or worry you unduly. I merely sought to prevent Mr. Jackson from being permanently incapacitated."
Faint lines of fatigue and pain bracketed his eyes, clear signs that he was not yet as fully recovered as his speech would seem to indicate. Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "Improvisation is not—"
"I know. I know." Vin interrupted, a small grin tugging at his lips, halting the flow of words that seemed to be taxing the gambler. "Improvisation is not an exact science."
Ezra smiled, gold premolar flashing in the dim light. He and Vin seemed to share the moment. "Precisely."
Nathan stared at the conman, thinking through what he had said. //I remember him calling out…remember him shoving me…aw hell. I never even realized he got hurt because off that. Hell, the man’s first concern was if I’d got hurt, and I don’t even thank him. Nathan Jackson, you are an idiot.//
Nathan lightly patted Ezra’s arm, careful not to jar his injured shoulder. "Thank you, Ezra."
Green eyes seemed to shift reluctantly from Vin to Nathan. Ezra frowned, eyebrows pulling together slightly. "For what…." Ezra started to say, apparently having lost track of the conversation. Then he nodded, wincing as he did so. "You are most welcome, Mr. Jackson."
Ezra took a breath, and seemed to collect himself. "Now then…if you are finished with your ministrations, Mr. Jackson, I would like to retire to my own domicile." He shifted his weight, and made an effort to sit up. If Vin and Josiah hadn’t been quick to catch him when he swayed, the smaller man might well have fallen out of the narrow cot. The conman lost what color he had regained, and looked almost green.
"Think maybe you need to stay put, Ez." Vin cautioned. He sent a worried glance toward Nathan. "For a little bit anyway."
Nathan nodded in agreement. //Never thought he ought to leave. But I won’t get anywhere saying as much.// "Took a pretty good hit ta the head, Ezra." Nathan offered, trying to keep his tone reasonable. "You just sit still here for a bit. I’ll get something for your headache all right?"
Ezra nodded, and closed his eyes. It was a sure sign of how bad he was feeling that he didn’t argue. //Bet he’s got a headache from hell.// Nathan cast a quick glance toward the teakettle. //Should be boiling soon enough ta make a little willow bark tea for him.// Nathan knew better than to suggest laudanum. The gambler was adamant in his refusal of the powerful drug in the past. So much so, he’d fought like hell to avoid it. //No point in pushing things.//
Ezra shifted so that more of his weight rested against Vin. He shivered. The tracker raised a hand to Ezra’s forehead. He shook his head at Nathan’s questioning look. No fever.
"Are you cold, Ezra?" Josiah asked. They all knew the Southerner wore so many layers because he despised the cold. And blood loss, no matter how minor, tended to reduce a person’s ability to generate heat.
"It is a mite cool in here." Ezra drawled, his accent thicker than usual, making him nearly unintelligible.
"Vin, why don’t you help him lie back down?" Nathan suggested.
"No." Ezra’s eyes flickered open briefly. "I think remaining…stationary…for the moment would be better."
Nathan gave the gambler a hard look. "You feeling sick?"
Ezra swallowed hard, and made a faint sound of agreement. The healer nodded. //Expected he might. And it might be easier for him to be sitting up if he does need ta throw up.// "All right. You just sit still for a few minutes. If it gets worse, you tell me."
Nathan glanced toward Vin. The tracker was supporting most of Ezra’s upper body, arms curled enough to hold Ezra in what looked like a loose hug. He seemed comfortable enough. //Maybe too comfortable.//
The healer turned that thought over in his head. He added up the odd details he’d noticed lately. //Almost act like they’re lovers. No…That just isn’t…they aren’t like that!! They’re just good friends.//
Nathan pursed his lips, rethinking, trying to ignore his initial gut reaction. //Yeah, well, Vin and Chris are good friends, and Vin didn’t get pale and shaky when Chris got hurt. Vin can get Ezra to behave when no one else can…and Ezra can get Vin ta do the same. Like he did when Vin got shot in the leg a few months back. Never saw Vin get so angry for anyone else the way he does for Ezra…that bit with Maude’s letter, and today in the saloon…he’d have killed Smith if the man had moved wrong. Know he would have. And Ezra doesn’t let anyone else get as close as Vin…no matter how good a friend they are.//
What really clinched it though was that Ezra called Vin ‘cheri’, ‘mon ami’, and used his first name. It all but screamed intimacy. Still, there was no way to know for certain without coming right out and asking.
Nathan took a slow, deep breath, trying to squelch the uneasy feeling burning in his stomach. He remembered what Buck had said. "If you want to know you’re going to have to ask Vin or Ezra. And don’t be surprised if you ask one that you’ll end up talking to both."
//Right now ain’t the time for that though. Need to figure out what I think first…and I don’t know yet. Know better than to approach Ezra without thinking it through. He will just run circles around me otherwise. ‘Sides, Ezra’s still my patient…his health comes first. I’ll just figure out how to ask later. Maybe tonight, once he’s feelin’ better and I’ve had a chance to think some more.//
Nathan refocused his attention of Vin and Ezra. They both looked very comfortable, but he felt like he should ask anyway. "You okay there?"
Vin considered the question for a moment, lips quirking in a half smile, blue eyes bright with amusement. He answered for both of them. "No problem, Nate."
Nathan cast a look toward Josiah, and the big man just shrugged his shoulders. The healer wondered if his old friend had noticed the same thing he had. //Guess it don’t matter. Have a feeling that even if he did know I’d still have to talk to Vin and Ezra.//
He decided to just go with the flow for now. //If they’re okay…I guess I’ll leave it go at that.// Nathan had come to realize that allowing his patients some leeway was not always a bad thing. He was learning to pick his battles, choosing to fight those that really mattered. And right now what mattered was making sure his patient was comfortable.
Nathan’s eyes flickered from Josiah to the blanket at the foot of the cot, signaling his suggestion, while the healer went to work on getting a cup of tea ready. The preacher nodded, and unfolded the blanket. He and Vin managed to wrap the blanket around the gambler’s shoulders with little difficulty, making sure the smaller man’s weight was always supported. Ezra relaxed against Vin, resting his head on Vin’s shoulder with a soft sigh, and a barely audible ‘thank you’.
Nathan was again struck by the familiarity of their position. In light of his recent thoughts, he could tell they were almost cuddling. They weren’t obvious about it, but there was a lot of comfort being passed back and forth simply by the two of them being so close.
"Ezra…I want you to drink this." Nathan offered him the cup of tea. Ezra gave the cup a wary look, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"It’ll help with your headache." The healer offered trying to sway the indecision he could see on the gambler’s face. //Must really be out o’ sorts if I can read him that well. Normally, I’d have no idea what he was thinking.//
"C’mon, Ez. Jus’ drink it, please." Vin added his voice to the argument. Ezra reached out and took the cup. He drank it with a grimace of distaste, handing the empty cup back to Nathan.
"Really, Mr. Jackson, I didn’t think it possible, but that vile concoction gets worse each time."
Nathan smiled slightly, as he put the cup a way. "Well, if ya didn’t keep getting yerself into situations like this, you wouldn’t need it."
Ezra gave him a dirty look. "Making the cure less tolerable will not serve as inducement to avoiding the disease."
Nathan frowned trying to puzzle out that statement. He looked toward Josiah. The former preacher chuckled, before he obligingly translated. "He said making your tea taste bad won’t keep him from getting hurt."
Nathan shook his head. He was about to reply to that when the door opened. Chris stepped though, long duster swirling behind him almost as if it had a life of its own. JD stepped in right behind him, concern clearly etched on his face.
Nathan wasn’t surprised to see either of them. //JD worries whenever any o’ us get hurt. Chris too. But Chris knows enough ta give me some time ta work. Bet he rode herd on JD ta keep him from showin’ up sooner.//
The tall gunslinger half smiled when he saw Ezra was awake. JD relaxed, breaking into a broad grin. The young sheriff stepped around Chris, and crouching down in front of Ezra and Vin, putting himself at eye level.
"Hey, Ez…you doin’ all right?"
"Right as rain, Mr. Dunne" Ezra replied without hesitation.
Chris shook his head, clearly not willing to believe that statement. He looked askance toward Nathan. Nathan answered that look honestly. "Shoulder wound was minor. Gonna hurt for awhile, but it should heal fine. He’ll need to be careful with it for a few days…wear a sling, no heavy lifting. He took a good shot ta the head, which means he’s going to have a headache off and on for couple days. Might be bad enough we’ll need ta watch that he don’t start throwin’ up, get confused, or lose his balance."
Chris nodded. Nathan knew the gunslinger had taken a few shots to the head, and was familiar with the symptoms and treatment. //Pretty normal to feel dizzy and need to throw up even days later. Knowin’ Ezra he won’t say anything, probably not even to Vin, so that means watching him for any sign we might pick up.//
"No patrols then?"
"No. Not for the next few days."
Ezra rolled his eyes. "I am capable of performing my duties, Mr. Larabee."
"Yeah, well right now yer only duty is to rest up." Chris stated firmly. "Rest o’ us can handle things for a day or two."
JD bobbed his agreement with that statement. He raised a hand to rub his own shoulder, where the younger man had been stabbed himself once. "Getting stabbed ain’t fun, Ez."
"You don’t say." Ezra’s voice was as dry as the desert, but JD just grinned at him, unaffected by the tone.
Chris chuckled. They all knew the gambler could get a little pissy when he was hurt. They all could. And rather than be offended or insulted, it was a reassuring to have him behave normally.
The gunslinger’s attention shifted to Nathan again. "If you got a minute…that cowboy with a broken arm could use some tending."
Nathan sighed. "He with the Double T or Lazy S?"
"Double T. Why?"
"Didn’t think any of Bantrim’s cronies would let me fix ‘em up."
"You’d be right about that." Chris nodded. "But then there is no accounting for a man’s ability to be stupid just to spite himself."
Nathan chuckled. //Leave it to Chris. Man certainly puts an interesting spin on things.// He gathered up the supplies he thought he’d need.
"Josiah… you mind doing a walk through town? Wanna make sure everyone is settled down."
"A good idea, Chris." The big man nodded. "Some of our flock might need reassurance that their shepherds have once more beaten back the wolves."
"JD, go relieve Buck at the jail. Tell him I want him to go help Inez get the saloon back in order."
"Sure thing, Chris." The sheriff patted Ezra’s arm, as he stood to follow Chris’ order. He paused in the doorway to say, "Real glad you’re okay, Ez."
Ezra smiled slightly, and tipped his head. "Thank you, Mr. Dunne."
"Vin…stay here with Ezra, and make sure he behaves himself."
"I am perfectly capable of looking after myself, Mr. Larabee. There is no need for Mr. Tanner to be assigned to the pointless task of observing me."
Ezra’s protest came just as Nathan expected it to. Even though the words were right, the tone was a little off. //He wants Vin to stay. Jus’ saying that for appearances ‘cause it would be bound ta raise eyebrows if he didn’t say something.//
"I’ll keep an eye on him, Cowboy." Vin tipped his head slightly, acknowledging Chris’ order, and totally ignoring Ezra’s protest. "We’ll stay right here."
"Good."
Josiah stepped forward, and moved into Ezra’s line of sight. "You behave yourself now." Blue eyes twinkled slightly. "And don’t give Vin any trouble."
Ezra smirked, before his features transformed themselves into an overly innocent expression, jade green eyes wide. "Trouble? Mr. Sanchez, really, I am no trouble."
The older man laughed lightly. "Uh-hunh. Best keep an eye on him, Vin." There was humor in that statement, but also a serious admonition. Josiah was letting Vin know he’d better take care of Ezra, or there would be hell to pay.
Blue eyes met blue. "I will."
Josiah nodded, and headed out. Chris waited impatiently near the door. When he saw Nathan was ready he tipped his head to Vin and Ezra before heading outside.
Nathan hesitated at the doorway. He looked back at Vin and Ezra. "Can I talk to you two later? Got a question I’d like to ask."
Vin shared a look with Ezra. A wealth of communication seemed to occur in that look. The gambler shrugged one shoulder. Vin nodded, but Nathan wasn’t sure just what the tracker was agreeing to.
When Ezra turned his attention back toward Nathan, his face had slipped into a cautiously, neutral expression, eyes carefully shuttered, giving away nothing. "Certainly, you may discuss anything you wish, Mr. Jackson."
Nathan bit his lower lip. While Ezra’s words were a positive response, his body language and tone were not at all receptive. Nathan got the feeling they already knew what he was going to ask.
"Ya sure?"
Ezra nodded slowly. "I would not have said so otherwise."
"When?" Vin asked, his usual straightforward approach easier for Nathan to deal with.
"After dinner." //Will give me a chance to work things over in my mind. And the others will probably be back off and on to check on Ezra. Won’t really have a chance to just be alone with them until then.//
"We shall await your pleasure." Ezra answered, some how making it sound like a dismissal at the same time.
//Mighty weird feeling being told in so many words ta leave my own place. Guess I deserved that.// Nathan sighed, and headed down the stairs. //Best get this cowboy’s arm taken care of. Sooner I get that taken care of, sooner I’ll have time to myself to think.//
+ + + + + + +
Vin paced quietly, his steps slow and deliberate. He was careful to make certain that his movements didn’t disturb his lightly dozing lover. Ezra had finally laid down a few minutes ago, getting comfortable on the narrow cot. His deep, even breathing was a clear signal he’d given into the earlier events of the day and was finally resting.
Vin glanced over at Ezra; pleased to see the faint signs of pain in his countenance that had been apparent since he’d come to earlier had finally faded. The gambler had stayed awake for the remainder of the afternoon. It had been necessary in order to deal with the steady parade of people who’d come to ensure he was, in fact, all right. Not just their fellow peacekeepers, but a number of townspeople as well.
All eight children that Ezra was teaching, and several of their mothers, made their way to the clinic door over the course of the afternoon. Vin had tried to shoo them away, but had been unable to withstand the earnest, teary-eyed looks from the children. They simply wouldn’t believe Ezra was fine if they couldn’t talk to him for themselves. The gambler had greeted each child graciously, putting his or her fears to rest, acting as if it were just another day, and his injuries no cause for concern.
//Sort o’ wish he could keep right on sleepin’. Took a lot out o’ him to act normal for the kids. He didn’t want them to worry about him. Can’t believe he was doing card tricks for them. Left handed even.// Vin smiled fondly at Ezra. His lover had a big heart where children were concerned. He wouldn’t have let Vin keep them outside even if the tracker had been able to.
//Made for a real long day though. And it ain’t over. Nate is gonna be here soon. Should just tell Nate to wait until tomorrow, ‘cept I don’t think Ez would go for that. He wouldn’t like putting it off.//
After Nate, JD, Josiah and Chris had left, Vin and Ezra had the opportunity to talk briefly about what Nate wanted to ask them. Buck had mentioned a few days ago, that the healer had noticed a few things, a new closeness between them, and would likely be asking them about it soon. The big-hearted cowboy had wanted them to know so they could be prepared.
Vin hadn’t been this nervous with Chris, in part because he hadn’t had time to sit and think about it. Chris had asked what was going on between him and Ezra, and Vin had taken him immediately to Ezra so they could answer the question together. He hadn’t really even had time to consider the consequences before it was already done.
With Buck, there had been than enough emotional turmoil at the time, Vin’s nervousness was lost in the shuffle. The question had caught him somewhat by surprise. He thought the ladies man might question their commitment, to find a male-male relationship incomprehensible, but he never should have doubted Buck would accept them. The ladies man was tenacious when it came to his friends, fiercely loyal when others would have long since walked away. His dogged determination to keep up with Chris Larabee, no matter what the other man might throw at him, was proof of that.
But Nathan wasn’t Chris or Buck. His reaction might well prove to be more extreme than either of theirs had been. //We’re friends, but not best friends. Hell, most of the time, Chris and I are so in tune we don’t need ta talk, and he couldn’t accept Ez and me right away. How the hell is Nate going to? It took Chris a month to come to terms with it, how long would it take Nate? What if he never does? What if he makes trouble? Know we could leave, but I don’t really want to. Like it here, with Ez.//
Vin sighed softly, and shook his head. //Sort o’ wish we had more time ta prepare. Not sure how much time woulda been enough. After Buck said Nate was startin’ ta notice stuff, I figured we’d have another couple of days, maybe a week at least. And we might have if Ez hadn’t gotten hurt. Stupid. I was stupid. Gave away too much. Wasn’t thinkin’. My fault. Shoulda paid more attention.//
"Stop that." A soft drawl commanded, laced with just a hint of irritation, interrupting Vin’s thoughts.
"What?" Vin stopped pacing to turn toward Ezra before he even realized he had done so. //Ah hell, I didn’t mean to wake him.//
"Stop worrying." Ezra opened one eye, fixing Vin with his steady gaze. "It will not change matters one iota, and I believe if you persist in pacing you may well wear a grove in Nathan’s floor."
Vin rolled his eyes. "Ain’t gonna hurt the floor."
Ezra chuckled. "That remains to be seen." He took a deep breath, and slowly sat up. Vin immediately moved to his side, ready to help if Ezra needed it, knowing how hard simple things could be with one arm in a sling, not to mention that his head probably still hurt. The gambler patted his arm lightly, thanking him for his assistance.
Ezra eyed Vin for a moment. "I am tired of listening to you move in circles. Now, why don’t you tell me what is the problem?"
Vin snorted. "You know what the problem is."
"No…I know what I think the problem is, not what you think it is. They may very well be two entirely different things." Ezra’s tone was reasonable, encouraging.
Vin frowned as he sat down beside Ezra, pulling his lover into a loose one-armed hug without conscious thought, careful of the wounded shoulder. "It’s my fault."
"Your fault?" Ezra raised one eyebrow. "How so?"
"He wouldn’t be askin’ if I hadn’t been…If it weren’t for the…" Vin sighed, and made a conscious effort to organize his thoughts into something he could voice. "If I’d kept my hands to myself today we wouldn’t have to deal with this."
His only defense was that he’d been so scared he couldn’t think straight, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to admit to that. //O’ course that assumes Ez doesn’t already know. And knowin’ Ez, I’d say it’s a safe bet he does. Man knows me better than anyone else ever has.//
Ezra waved a hand in dismissal Vin’s statement. "He most certainly would be asking." The gambler pulled away just enough to make eye contact. "Or have you forgotten Buck’s mention of Nathan’s question to him made only a few days prior."
"Haven’t forgotten." Vin almost snarled, still upset with himself. "Just thought…"
Ezra waited a beat and then another. When Vin didn’t say anything else, Ezra asked, "You thought…maybe he wouldn’t? Or that maybe you’d be better prepared when he did?"
"Both." Vin admitted quietly, hanging his head. "Didn’t mean ta snap at you."
"I know that." Ezra smiled softly, and placed a gentle kiss on Vin’s temple. "Cheri, it is not your fault. If anything we are both at fault." Ezra raised a hand to tenderly caress his cheek. "Neither of us were terribly discrete. I was there, too, remember."
"Yeah, but you can’t be blamed for that. You were hurt, and you were--"
"No." Ezra shook his head.
Vin raised both eyebrows, not used to Ezra interrupting. The gambler was generally more polite than that. "What’d mean ‘no’?"
"My being injured has nothing to do with this."
Vin scowled. He opened his mouth, prepared to vehemently disagree, but Ezra raised a finger, and pressed it to his lips. The gambler shook his head. He sighed heavily, his expression resigned.
"Cheri, he was already discerning things we had done previously. Actions we had undertaken, or words spoken while both of us were of sound mind and body. Things neither of us were consciously aware of. Things neither of us even considered to be blatant indicators of the nature of our relationship, but that were obviously not as subtle as we believed them to be."
Ezra’s expression turned rueful. "What we did, or did not do today, likely made very little difference."
Vin sighed. //He’s got a point. Don’t mean I still don’t feel guilty, but there isn’t anythin’ ta be done about that now.//
Vin raised a hand to capture the finger Ezra had placed against his lips, pulling Ezra’s hand away slightly, and then placing a soft kiss in the palm. "Still wish we had more time."
"As do I." Ezra curled his fingers around Vin’s.
The tracker was quick to note that Ezra’s hand wasn’t quite steady. He could feel Ezra’s rapid pulse through that connection, and realized that the gambler wasn’t anywhere near as calm as he looked. //Hell, he’s probably just as worried as I am. Just hides it better.//.
"It’ll be okay, Ez." He tried to offer reassurance, but he knew his tone gave away he fact that he didn’t entirely believe what he’d just said.
Ezra chuckled softly. "You are a lousy liar, Mr. Tanner."
Vin rolled his eyes at the use of his surname. "But you love me anyway, right?"
"Yes. Yes, I do." Ezra grinned, eyes bright with affection and humor. The conman took a deep breath, and seemed to center himself. "We will simply face this obstacle as we have others. Together."
"Together." Vin’s answer came out as a promise. He never wanted Ezra to doubt that.
"And we have already demonstrated that united, we can conquer anything. This will be a walk in the park." Ezra smiled, but it wasn’t a free or easy expression. His lover could lie with the best of them, but Vin was no slouch when it came to reading him.
Vin nodded, and smiled back. //If Ez can pretend to be confident, guess I can too. Sort o’ wish we had agreed ta let Buck and Chris stay, but it’s probably jus’ as well they aren’t here.//
Both Buck and Chris had wanted to be there when Nathan confronted them, but neither Vin nor Ezra had thought it a good idea. Vin and Ezra wanted to give Nathan the chance to express his opinion honestly. Having an audience might prevent him from doing so. Both of them wanted to know up front if the healer wasn’t going to be able to accept them as a couple.
//Chris can be down right intimidating when he wants ta be. Even with friends. And if he thought Nate was gonna be a problem, he’d be on him like stink on a skunk. Don’t think Buck would be any better. Got a feeling he might take it personal if Nate can’t accept us. Problem is that they could bully him inta not saying anything, but it wouldn’t change how he felt, or what he thought. That could be trouble down the road.//
Vin winced thinking of what might happen if they’d tried to stay in Four Corners with the only healer secretly despising them. It was just too dangerous. Even minor injuries needed adequate attention. He sent a concerned glance toward the gambler, wondering if it might not prove to be a problem now. Ezra raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"If Nate has trouble with us…." Vin hesitated for a moment, not quite sure how to voice his concern. "Yer still not one hundred percent, Ez."
Ezra shook his head. "Whatever else, Mr. Jackson, may be, he is a man of integrity, honor. He would not allow his personal bias to affect his duty as this town’s closest equivalent to a medical professional."
"And in any event…if he does," Ezra took a breath, and swallowed hard, "We will likely not be staying long." His voice was little more than a whisper as he finished that statement.
Vin pulled him closer. "It’ll be okay."
Ezra laid his head on Vin’s shoulder, readily accepting the comfort Vin offered. Not for the first time did Vin wish that they could simply stay this way forever, safe in the circle of each other’s arms. A soft knock at the door startled him, and Vin reluctantly pulled away, rising to his feet.
Ezra smoothed out imaginary wrinkles from his clothing, and composed himself. As many times as Vin had seen him do it, it still amazed him. That his lover could go from open and as easy to read as a child’s primer, to completely shuttered, nearly indecipherable in mere seconds was something he never thought he’d get used to.
The gambler moved to stand. Vin shook his head, and held out a hand in a staying motion. "You’re s’posed to be resting."
The gambler raised one eyebrow, smirking slightly. "And I am famous for my ability to always be doing as I am supposed to."
Vin just gave him a hard look. Ezra pursed his lips in annoyance. He waved a hand, regally gesturing toward the door, as he settled back. "Fine. Have it your way."
Vin tipped his head, accepting his momentary victory. He opened the door, somewhat surprised to see Nathan. //Would have expect him ta jus’ walk in. It’s his place.//
Nathan looked hesitant, almost uncertain. "It okay for me ta come in?"
Vin silently gestured with one hand, indicating Nathan was welcome to enter. He wondered about the healer’s attitude, and decided that he found it encouraging. //If he was ready to jump all over us, he wouldn’t be like this. Not sure quite what he’d be like, but I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t be it.//
Vin closed the door after Nathan entered, and made his way back to the cot. He didn’t sit, just stood close enough to Ezra to offer support or protect him if need be. Vin’s hand rested on the butt of his gun as he made himself comfortable, ready for anything. Ezra slanted a look at him, letting him know that the gambler was fully aware of what he was doing, but wasn’t going to call him on it.
Nathan stood in front of them. He bit is lower lip, eyes directed toward the floor. The healer opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Nathan took a deep breath, looked up and then away again.
Ezra shook his head. "Mr. Jackson?" Dark eyes snapped up to meet green. "I believe you had a question."
"Yeah, I did…I mean I do. Thing is…I’m not rightly sure how to ask. Don’t want to…well, if I’m wrong could just be insulting both of you, which I don’t want to do. And if I’m right, well, truth is I haven’t exactly worked out how I feel about it."
Nathan sighed, and looked uncomfortable. "Don’t exactly have a lot o’ experience with this sort o’ thing. And what I think is going on ain’t anythin’ like what I am familiar with."
Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Quite the dilemma." The gambler smiled slightly, trying to put the other man more at ease. "Why not simply ask, and let the pieces fall where they may? I can promise for my part to try to appreciate your situation, and attempt to take no insult at what you have to say." He looked askance at Vin. The lanky Texan nodded once signaling that he felt the same way.
Nathan cleared his throat. "Y’all mind if I sit?"
"It is your abode, Mr. Jackson." Ezra pointed out, his tone dry.
"Right." Nathan nodded seemingly unaware of the sarcasm in Ezra’s statement. He moved to sit down, turning the chair to face them. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Don’t rightly know how to ask this, so I’m just gonna do it." He fixed dark eyes on Vin and then Ezra. "Just how long have the two o’ you been more than friends?"
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