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Learning to Improvise…
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Ezra shivered, feeling the icy wind bite his skin even through his heavy clothing. The driving rain pelted him, stinging his face and hands. He could hear the timbers groaning under the strain of too much wind and water. The storm was going to be bad. SinJin said it would. The captain thought it might be a hurricane.The damn Yankees had blockaded every port and they had not choice but to ride it out. SinJin hadn’t been too concerned. They had weathered other storms. But never one this strong. The Esmerelda shuttered under the steady, relentless onslaught. The wind howled so loud it was deafening, and the sky was an angry blue black that hung above them like a shroud.
Ezra worked his way around the lower deck helping to lash down everything. He needed to make sure the deck was secure. He was afraid, but knew better than to let it show. He had a job to do, and come hell or high water, he was going to get it done. He would not let SinJin down. Three years on this ship had made him a more than passable sailor. He had never let down his captain or his crew. He sure as hell wasn’t going to now.
He could hear SinJin’s voice carrying over the thunder of the wind, issuing orders, and doing his best to combat the chaos around them. A formidable man of great will and determination. He was afraid of nothing. Ezra knew if anyone could see them through this, it was him. SinJin would fight the devil himself to hold on to what he claimed as his.
Ezra worked his way toward upper deck. He could see the captain fighting hard with the tiller, trying to keep the ship pointed into the storm. The worst thing that could happen was for her to turn broadside. The first mate was working his way up the starboard side, moving to assist.
A wave broke over the bow, sweeping the deck clear. Ezra panicked as his feet were knocked out from under him. He struggled, grasping at anything that would keep him from going over board. He screamed, calling for someone to help him, knowing it was useless. He couldn’t breath. He was going to die. No doubt about it.
Suddenly a strong hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him gasping and shaking back on to the deck. Arms wrapped around him, held him tight. It was SinJin. "I’ve gotcha, lad. Not too worry. I’ve gotcha."
He could hear someone else saying, "Ez, Ezra, I gotcha. It’s okay." He knew he knew that voice, but ignored it. He’d deal with that later. The storm was still raging.
Besides, it wasn’t okay. He knew that. SinJin had grabbed him, but left the wheel to do so. He’d saved his life, but may have only delayed the inevitable.
Shit, shit, the ship was turning. He couldn’t see the first mate, and suspected he had been washed overboard by the same wave that had nearly gotten him. He didn’t have time to mourn his passing. There would be time for that later if he lived through this.
Ezra and SinJin struggled against knee deep water, and stiff wind, to get back to the wheel. Had to get to it. They threw their combined weight into it, trying to maintain course. The timbers groaned. A sharp crack, and Ezra saw the mast snap like so much kindling. He watched with horror as it danced for a moment before smashing with stunning force into the deck. Men screamed, caught under the weight and force of it.
Ezra was shoved out of the way as the top of the mast slammed into the wheel. The tiller was gone. Not good. They were dead in the water without it. SinJin issued orders. "All hands, ta the life boats. All hands, ta the life boats."
He grabbed Ezra. "C’mon, lad. We need ta get everyone off her. Now."
Ezra moved with him, working frantically to get the crew off the crippled ship. Some had stayed below decks, and needed to be ordered out. They needed to release the life boats in time for them to get away. The storm moved faster than any of them. Another wave broke over the bow, forcing the ship to turn. She was going broadside. The next wave might roll her completely over.
Ezra heard a change in the wind. A moment of silence, like time had slowed to a crawl, and he could feel the weight of it. The Esmerelda pitched and rolled, and pitched hard again. She was going to roll.
He looked toward SinJin. Eyes so dark they seemed black met his. He could read the certainty there. SinJin nodded, and grinned. The man never looked more alive than he did at that moment.
"Was a hell of a run, lad. Hell of a run. Damn glad ya were here ta run with me. It’s been a pleasure, my boy, a real pleasure."
SinJin pulled Ezra to him in a tight hug. Then he was shoving him into the lifeboat as the ship pitched past the point of no return. Ezra lost sight of him. He scrambled, reaching, grasping….No. Goddamn it, No. Don’t you die, you miserable son-of-a-bitch. NO!
Ezra sat up with a gasp. Or rather he tried to. He found himself wrapped in a strong pair of arms, and he struggled frantically, not sure of where he was or who held him. "Easy, Ez. Shhhh….It’s alright. Jus’ a dream. It’s alright."
He opened his eyes scanning trying to remember where he was. The lamp on the table had been lit, and the dim light it cast, revealed his hotel room, not the deck of a storm tossed, dying ship. Ezra took a deep shuddering breath, and gradually relaxed. He managed to pull free of his nightmare. Vin. Bitter Creek. Hotel. Not on the Esmerelda.
"Not a dream. Memory." He forced out.
"Must a been one hell of a memory." Vin rocked him gently, fingers combing through his hair trying to calm him down. Ezra rested his head on Vin’s shoulder and shook. His teeth chattered.
"Ship…going down. Hurricane…rolled her over." Ezra shivered violently. He couldn’t seem to get warm. "Only got one…life boat free…in time." He began mentally running down the crew list. Only six men had made it off the Esmerelda. So many dead. Gone, all gone.
"Ship nearly…pulled it under…with her…when she went. Spent…two days…in open boat…riding out the storm. Almost died." Three of the other men that had made it to the life boat with him had died of exposure before they made land.
Vin released him and Ezra whimpered at the loss of contact. He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to be alone.
"Shhh…I’m just gonna grab that brandy. Jus’ sit for a bit. I’ll be right back. Promise."
Vin was back with the bottle in a moment. He uncorked it and offered it to Ezra. Ezra’s hands shook so badly he couldn’t hold it. He needed Vin’s help just to get a drink.
The brandy warmed him almost immediately, and helped ease the shaking. Vin pulled Ezra into his arms again, and rocked slightly, holding him close. Ezra jumped when he heard thunder rumble over head. He instinctively burrowed in closer to Vin. He could hear the rain beating against the window.
"Shhh…jus’ the storm. Can’t hurt ya. No big deal. It’s alright…yer safe."
Ezra took a shaky breath, and nodded. He made a conscious effort to control his breathing. It was bad enough that he had woken up Vin, there was no need to compound it by acting like a frightened child.
A sharp crack of thunder made him flinch. Vin pulled him in closer. Ezra turned his head to hide his face in Vin’s neck, ashamed of his reaction, but unable to pull away.
It was then that he realized Vin wasn’t wearing a shirt. He breathed deeply inhaling Vin’s scent. Ezra could smell his soap on Vin’s skin. Lavender and sandalwood. The smooth feel of warm skin next to his own was wonderful.
He had wrapped his arms around Vin earlier in an effort to get closer. Now he let his hands stroke the broad back, reveling in the satin smooth texture. He sighed, and shifted to get even more contact. Without conscious thought, Ezra opened his mouth to place a kiss against the hollow of Vin’s throat. He let his tongue slip out to taste.
He felt Vin stiffen. Oh shit. Mistake. Big mistake. Ezra started to pull away. He tried to jump start his flagging brain. He needed to find something to say, something to fix this. Left over adrenaline surged through him as he tried to think of some way to excuse what he’d just done.
He never got the chance to speak. Vin brought his hands up to cup his face, and hold him still. Blue eyes searched his. Ezra didn’t know what he was looking for, but held himself still, afraid to break the moment.
Vin leaned forward and placed his lips against Ezra’s. The kiss was soft, hesitant, a chaste request for more. Ezra moaned, and let the kiss deepen. If felt so good, so much better than he had imagined.
This is wrong. This is a mistake. He can’t mean to do this. Ezra pulled away. "Vin, please, I know you don’t mean it. I know--"
"What if I do mean?" Vin asked gently. "And I do mean to, Ezra. I do."
"Are you sure?" Ezra tried to read Vin’s expression. There was no hesitation, no uncertainty there.
"Yes."
"Aw hell." Ezra knew he was lost. All his usual controls had fled, and he had no resources on which to call to keep him from what he so wanted to do. Ezra dove in, head first, hungry for more. This kiss was far from gentle. It was a passionate, intimate connection. He wanted to devour that sweet mouth, to lose himself in that touch.
Ezra let his hands roam over Vin, delighting in the small sighs and moans his touch elicited. He indulged his senses in Vin. Taste, touch, sight, sound, hearing. He wanted to imprint every detail on his very being, because he knew he’d never get another chance. At some point Vin would realize he made a mistake, but until then Ezra was going to make the most of it. He had dreamed about this for too long not to.
He opened his eyes to study Vin. Taking in the way his pupils had dilated, leaving nothing but an indigo ring around them. The way the flickering light highlighted his skin, turning it to molten gold. The ragged nature of his breathing.
Ezra let his hands ghost over the bare, hairless chest, delighting in the way the nipples tightened, and rose in response. He bent his head to lave first the right nub, then the left. Vin arched his back and pressed Ezra’s head to his chest, his fingers carding through Ezra’s hair and holding him in place. Likes that. Good. Want him to enjoy it. He may well regret it later, but for now it is all about pleasure.
Ezra spent several minutes tormenting and teasing those sensitive buttons with his tongue and fingers. Vin moaned softly, wordlessly offering encouragement. When Vin’s hands weren’t busy running through Ezra’s hair, they were caressing every inch of flesh they could reach. Ezra shuddered. It felt like a trail of fire was left across his skin. It had been so long since he’d been touched. It was like he was starving and had just been offered a seat at a banquet.
Vin moved his hands to stroke Ezra’s chest, Ezra moaned, tilting his head back, and do his best to give Vin more room. He shivered under that gentle touch. Vin dipped his head to nuzzle Ezra’s neck, finding that spot under his ear that made him go weak in the knees.
It wasn’t enough. Ezra wanted more contact. He moved to strip Vin out of his pants. He was vaguely aware of Vin doing the same to him. Without conscious thought, he moved to make that task easier, raising and wiggling his hips to get free of his clothes faster.
Once they were both naked, Ezra pushed Vin back, and covered his body with his own. Ezra set to memorizing everything. He wanted to have this moment to hold for a lifetime. He wanted something he could focus on later…when he was alone, and on his own again.
Ezra raised himself up, holding his weight on his elbows, and studied every detail. Drinking in the sight of Vin. "You are so beautiful."
Without thinking about it, Ezra started speaking in French, his voice a soft whisper. "Simply divine. An angel fallen to earth. A creature of myth and magic."
He cupped Vin’s face with both hands. Ezra placed a kiss on Vin’s forehead, then each cheek. He hovered over his mouth, green eyes focused on blue. Still in French, he spoke again. "Thank you for this, my love, my heart. I will treasure this gift."
Ezra lowered his head and kissed Vin. He used his tongue to map that warm wet grotto. He couldn’t believe how good Vin tasted. Ambrosia. He let Vin’s tongue win the duel they’d been engaged in. He sucked Vin’s tongue into his mouth. Vin raised his hands to tilt Ezra’s head, changing the angle, letting him delve deeper.
Ezra used his hands to map the shape and contours of Vin’s body from head to toe. Delighting in the feel of hard, lean muscle, wrapped in satin smooth skin.
He pulled away from Vin’s kiss, and bent his head to taste Vin’s neck, and moved on to his chest. Ezra followed the trails his hands had made only moments ago. His tongue tracked the curve of each muscle. He spent more time on any spot that made Vin moan and sigh. Ezra enjoyed hearing those quiet sounds of encouragement.
He probed Vin’s bellybutton, his tongue moving to suggest a more intimate action. He nuzzled the quivering muscles around it, regretting that he didn’t have the supplies on hand to do what he’d really like to do. Doesn’t mean there aren’t other things that can be done.
Ezra moved further south. He wrapped on hand round Vin’s throbbing erection, and lowered his head to taste. His tongue probed the slit, and he reveled in the salty, slightly bitter flavor he found.
Vin arched his back, his hands fisting the sheets. "God…that’s…Ez…God."
Ezra smiled. He sucked gently. He had never truly mastered the art of taking the full length of a man into his mouth, but he knew how to make that little detail unimportant. He licked and nibbled his way down Vin’s hard shaft, curling his tongue around one side and then the other.
Ezra worked his way back up to the tip. One hand fondled Vin’s balls, while the other began a lazy stroke. He took as much of it in his mouth as he could, and moved in time with his hand. On each up stroke he paid special attention to the glans, using his tongue to tease further. On each down stroke he hummed as he sucked. It was only his weight across Vin’s hips that kept the sharpshooter from thrusting hard into his mouth.
"Ez…oh…oh…I’m…that’s so good."
Vin’s entire body shuddered, and Ezra knew he was close. He went down, worked his throat around Vin’s shaft, while he let the hand that had been fondling Vin’s balls dip behind them and find that sweet spot. He pressed his thumb there. Vin came hard, arching off the bed, shooting his seed into Ezra’s willing mouth. Ezra swallowed, not missing a drop.
As Vin softened in his mouth, he let go with a final swipe of his tongue. Vin pulled him up for a kiss, and Ezra went willingly. He rested against Vin’s chest. He could feel the tracker’s heart beat slowing.
Vin took a deep breath. "That was…God, Ez, that was…"
Ezra just nodded. He didn’t have words for it either. Vin cupped his face, his thumb tracing Ezra’s lower lip. Vin smiled, and moved in for another kiss. It was soft, gentle. It felt like Vin was thanking him.
Vin moved to roll them over. He raised his head with a grin. "Your turn."
Ezra closed his eyes and moaned when Vin began licking his neck. He shivered when Vin lowed his head to suck hard at a spot right above his heart. Vin applied his teeth with just enough force to cause a wonderful mix of pleasure and pain. It was sure to leave a mark, but Ezra didn’t care.
Ezra let his fingers roam freely through Vin’s hair. It felt like raw silk in his hands. He shivered when Vin lapped his way across his chest like a cat eating cream.
Ezra felt like he was being bombarded by dozens of sensations as once. He lost himself in a haze of pleasure. The feel of hands and tongue were everywhere, nearly overwhelming him. He wanted to let Vin know how much he liked whatever it was he was doing, but had lost the ability to speak. He moaned and sighed, his breathing ragged and uneven.
Ezra began a lazy thrust of his hips, rubbing his already leaking erection against Vin’s thigh. Just seeing Vin naked had been enough to get him going, and Ezra knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He’d almost come when Vin had earlier.
When Vin took him in hand, and started to stroke, Ezra whimpered. He shuddered, and wordlessly encouraged Vin to stroke harder and faster. Vin captured his lips again, and sucked his tongue. Ezra bucked once, twice into Vin’s tight hold.
He could feel his whole body trembling. He hugged Vin tight to him, trying to hold on to something, anything as he completely lost control. The whole world was spiraling down to a single point. Ezra groaned and came hard enough to see stars.
He felt almost boneless, incredibly heavy and weightless at the same time. Ezra struggled to catch his breath. He could feel Vin’s hand lazily caressing his chest. It felt good. And Ezra let out a long sigh of contentment.
He snuggled into Vin’s hold, enjoying the warmth and solid feel of the lanky Texan. Tomorrow the sun would come up, and he’d know just how big a mistake this had been. There were consequences for every decision. He knew that. But he wasn’t going to worry about it until tomorrow. Right now he was just going to enjoy the moment.
+ + + + + + +
Vin woke, as he usually did, just before dawn. He stretched languidly. Without thinking about it, he reached to pull the warm body next to his closer.
Vin opened his eyes. Some time during the night he and Ezra had shifted so that they were lying curled up on their sides, spooned in, close together. He lifted himself up on one elbow so that he could study his still sleeping bedmate.
Looks so young and innocent. Vin smiled. Young Ezra might be, probably a year older than Vin at the most, but he was no innocent. Not if last night was anything to go by.
Vin shivered reliving that experience. His usual morning hard on got harder just thinking about it. He had never had anyone do to him what Ezra did. It was better than anything he’d ever imagined. Vin closed his eyes. He could clearly remember the feel of Ezra’s touch and tongue. The sound of his voice.
He hadn’t understood what Ezra said to him. He vaguely recognized the language, but not enough to even begin to follow it. The way Ezra had made and held eye contact he knew what ever he’d said was important. Wonder if I ask, if he’d tell me. Vin had been stunned with how well simply asking had worked earlier.
He smiled when he remembered the way Ezra had laughed at the idea of his mother being on a ship for three years. He’d never heard Ezra laugh like that. With such honest, uncontained amusement. His laugh had been infectious, and Vin had laughed right along with him. He would love to hear Ezra laugh like that again.
He frowned thinking about the rest of that conversation. He didn’t like the idea of Ezra being bounced around from one person to another. God damn, Maude. He couldn’t understand how a mother could pass her child off like so much unwanted baggage. His own mother died when he was young, but there was never a doubt in his mind that she loved him. She would have stayed with him if she could have.
He had been more than angry. He had been livid. Maude lied to them. For what…to look like a loving mother, to ensure they had the wrong idea about her son so they wouldn’t trust him or like him, to make Ezra look bad for challenging her. He couldn’t figure out what she stood to gain by lying. She made it sound like he’d grown up in the lap of luxury, that she had doted on him, catered to his every whim. She told all these funny stories about him as a child, and things he’d done. Vin wondered how many of those were something she’d heard second hand or made up outright.
Vin was disappointed in himself that he hadn’t recognized the con. He was usually better at reading people than that. But then, Maude had merely painted the picture they all expected to see. Appearances were everything, and she certainly made sure that she and Ezra sounded like everything they appeared to be. Vin was honest enough with himself to admit he was partly at fault there. He had assumed things, and played right into her hand.
What he simply couldn’t forgive or even begin to comprehend was how she could sell her child. She traded ‘im like a sack of grain as barter against a debt. It had taken every ounce of self control Vin had possessed to not lose it right then. He had wanted to offer comfort, apologies, anything to make it better, but he knew Ezra wouldn’t accept it. He’d been surprised that Ezra had even allowed him to maintain his hold on his wrist for as long as he had.
When Ezra had been silent for so long after he asked about him being on a ship, Vin thought for sure he’d overstepped some boundary. Crossed over some hidden line. While he hadn’t really enjoyed hearing the story, he had been grateful, even pleased, that Ezra trusted him enough to tell it. He felt privileged to be given such a large piece of Ezra’s past.
Finding out they had more in common was a bonus. Vin’s own childhood involved a lot of being passed around, moving from place to place, struggling to fit in. And to know that Ezra had also served in the war meant a lot. Vin tried not to think about it, or remember what he did and saw then. Now he knew that when he couldn’t keep the memories buried he had someone he could go to. Someone who’d been there and would understand. Ezra would know first hand what it was like to be young and scared and see friends dying all around you wondering if you’d be next.
Vin had been pleased when Ezra offered to share his room. It had been unexpected. He hadn’t wanted to be too far from the gambler. For the past three days they hadn’t been more than a few feet apart, and Vin decided he liked it. Liked it a lot. It was rare that it was just the two of them, and Vin wanted a chance to enjoy every minute of it. He figured that once they got back to Four Corners things would go back to normal, and he wouldn’t get another chance to be this close.
Vin had woken when the storm hit. He had left the window open. The feel of moving air made the room seem less confining. But he realized the way the wind was blowing it would be best to close it before the floor ended up soaked.
It was when he got up that he heard Ezra whimper. Over the past few days he’d become familiar with Ezra’s normal sleep pattern. Vin could tell something was wrong. At first he thought it might be Ezra’s arm. So he’d lit the lamp, thinking he’d need some light to tend to that shallow wound.
He was surprised to find his friend in the grip of a nightmare. He’d had enough of those to know that he couldn’t leave Ezra trapped in his. The way Ezra trembled and shook hadn’t been a good sign. Vin knew whatever he was dreaming had to be bad, very bad. He could easily read the fear and panic on Ezra’s face. It had scared Vin half to death when for a moment Ezra seemed to stop breathing.
Vin had grabbed him, held him close, determined to help him escape whatever nighttime horror had taken over. Waking Ezra hadn’t been easy. And when he did wake, Vin had nearly lost his hold on the struggling man.
He breathed a lot easier when Ezra seemed to recognize him, and where he was. He knew all too well how the after affects of a nightmare could linger. Especially when it wasn’t some figment of your imagination, but a real event. Nothin’ quite like nearly dyin’ ta haunt a man.
Vin had worried about the chill he could feel on Ezra’s skin when he’d pulled him close. Remembering the way the brandy had burned, and that Ezra said it was good for cold days, he scrambled to retrieve the bottle. Some of the chill had eased off once Ezra had a drink, and Vin was grateful for that.
Knowing the Esmerelda had gone down in a storm and damn near taken Ezra with her, he wasn’t surprised when Ezra flinched in response to the thunder rumbling above them. Vin had liked the fact that Ezra sought comfort from him. He was surprised by how well the smaller man fit in his arms. He had been trying to figure out how to convince himself to let go when he felt Ezra place a kiss in the hollow of his throat.
When Ezra had pulled away, Vin could see him searching for an excuse. Wide, frantic eyes gave away every thought. Vin didn’t want that. He recognized this as a chance to finally move forward. To stop dancing around how he’d felt. To find out how Ezra felt.
The first kiss was better than he’d imagined. Ezra’s lips had been soft, wet and warm. He tasted of apricot brandy, and something Vin couldn’t identify. It was sweet and delicious. Vin liked his lips as he remembered. He hoped he’d get the chance to taste Ezra’s lips again.
Ezra shifted against him trying to get closer. He mumbled something in his sleep. Vin couldn’t quite make it out, but he didn’t seem upset. Not another bad dream then. Good.
Vin was content to just wait for Ezra to wake. It gave him a chance to watch him. He never would have guessed that Ezra was a cuddler. It was rather endearing.
The sun was just peeking over the horizon when Ezra shifted again. He pulled away slightly, and moved on to his back. Vin knew he was awake. He heard the change in his breathing, felt his muscles tighten a fraction.
Vin waited for those green eyes to open. Ezra went from asleep to awake just that quick. Vin had seen him do it on the trail a number of times but it still amazed him. Ezra could go from a sound sleep to instantly awake in under a second. It was probably one of the reasons he hadn’t shot any them when they’d gone to his room to wake him up. He was awake enough to aim to scare, not to kill, from the minute they opened the door.
Ezra opened his eyes. He blinked once. He stared at Vin for a moment, confused, and then amazed. "Not a dream." His voice was whisper soft.
"No." Vin knew what he was talking about. "Was too good to be a dream."
Ezra smiled, warm and open. Then sighed. Just that quick his poker face hid his emotions. Vin didn’t want that. He wanted the man who’d made love to him last night. The man who couldn’t hid what he felt, the man who’s eyes sparkled with passion, who had spoken what had to be endearments in a foreign tongue.
Vin shifted and moved to capture Ezra’s lips. He plundered that warm, willing mouth. Eager to taste him and bring back the man from last night. Still taste sweet. Like fresh peaches.
When he finally pulled back, Ezra’s eyes were bright, his expression again showed how he felt. Vin could read the astonishment and affection there.
"You don’t…regret it?" Ezra asked hesitantly.
"No." Vin smiled. He cupped Ezra’s face, letting his thumb caress Ezra’s cheek. "Don’t regret it. I jus’ wish we hadn’t waited so long."
"This is a mistake." Ezra stated. The conviction in his voice worried Vin. Maybe Ezra had regrets.
"Why?"
"You deserve more. Better."
"There ain’t anyone better’n you." Vin said softly. Ezra looked at him, stunned. It angered Vin all over again that the gambler should think so little of himself. Gonna have ta work on that.
"The others would not agree with you."
Vin pursed his lips. He had to admit that Ezra was probably right about that. Vin shrugged. "Wouldn’t be the first time I had my own opinion."
Ezra’s lips twisted in a half smile. "Undoubtedly. You have always stuck me as a man who knows his own mind."
"Then trust me, Ez. I want this. I want us."
Ezra studied him. "You don’t have to do this. We could pretend last night never happened. It doesn’t have to mean anything."
"Could you do that?" Vin watched Ezra closely. He wanted an honest answer. "Did last night mean nothin’ to you?
Ezra squirmed. "It shouldn’t matter what it meant to me."
"So it did mean something." Vin stated.
"More than you can possibly imagine." Ezra whispered. He hung his head for a moment, as though he felt guilty about telling Vin that. Don’t know why he thinks that’s a bad thing.
Vin watched as Ezra swallowed hard. Ezra looked up and spoke again. "I don’t want you to feel obligated to say things you don’t mean, or do something you’d rather not."
"You think I’m saying I want this because I feel beholden to you?"
Ezra sighed. "You are a forthright, honorable man."
"So are you."
"That is debatable." Ezra shook his head. "You are not given to casual liaisons. I know that you do not give your affections away carelessly. It is possible that you believe you feel more than you do. That you might need to…justify, what happened last night."
"What are ya sayin’? That I think yer some kind of virgin that I have ta marry?"
Ezra shot him a wry expression. "In the bluntest possible terms, yes."
Vin rolled his eyes. "I ain’t that naïve, Ez."
"I just want you to be sure. I don’t want for you to feel as though I am expecting more from you than you are willing to give. I want you to be free to choose."
Vin smiled. It was nice to know he’d finally found someone who was willing to let him decided how much to give and how to do it. "And if I choose you? If I want to give you everythin’?"
Ezra stared at him wide-eyed. On some level Vin knew Ezra was expecting him to take him up on the offer to pretend it had never happened. Wonder how many times some one did just that. Took all he had ta give and walked away. Bastards.
"Are you sure, Vin?"
"I’m sure."
"This changes things." Ezra warned.
"Jus’ for the better."
Ezra laughed. "You are determined."
Vin grinned. "Yep."
Ezra sobered. His expression turned pensive. "Vin…I’m not good at this. My track record with relationships is far from stellar. Abominable, it fact. I would never hurt you intentionally, but…you could still get hurt because of my carelessness or outright ineptitude."
"My track record ain’t so good either, Ez. I may not be the only one who gets hurt here." Vin felt compelled to point that out, his sense of fair play kicking in.
Ezra waved a hand in dismissal. "My getting hurt doesn’t matter. It never has."
"Does to me."
Ezra shook his head. "You are a most amazing man, Vin Tanner."
"That what you said last night?"
Ezra blinked. "When?"
"When ya started talkin’ in French?"
Ezra frowned, then his expression cleared. "I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized I’d done that. I shall endeavor to refrain from doing that."
Vin wasn’t going to be put off. Ezra had said something important. "Tell me. I wanna know."
Ezra repeated what he said in French, then in English. "You are an angel who fell to earth. A creature of myth and magic." Ezra looked away. "Thank you for this gift, my love, my heart. I will treasure it."
Vin gently forced Ezra to look at him. "You love me?"
Green eyes met his blue, uncertain, and wary. "I don’t know. I think I do. Honestly, I have failed so badly at such things in the past that it is hard to know for certain. I’m not even sure if I know what love feels like."
Vin hugged him, pulling Ezra’s head to his shoulder. "Know what ya mean, Pard. Ain’t had a lotta luck there myself."
He cradled Ezra like that for several minutes before he pulled back. "Maybe we can just see how it goes. Work on it together."
"You want to improvise then?" Ezra grinned at him, dimples clearly visible.
Vin chuckled. "Yep. Didn’t do so bad that way yesterday."
"No. No we didn’t."
Vin smiled. "We’ll learn as we go."
Ezra nodded. "Very well. I am willing to try if you are."
"Oh, I’m willin’, Ez. I’m willin’." Vin leaned in for another of those sweet kisses. "We could start practicin’ right now if ya want."
Ezra nodded his head, looking very serious, but for the sparkle in his eyes. "Practice makes perfect. It will likely take a lot of hours of arduous practice, and serious attention to detail, to bring about perfection."
Vin eager to start working on perfection. Very eager. He pulled Ezra to him. "Well, then we better get started."
The End
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