WHY MR. CHRIS WANTS A NEW HOUSEKEEPER by Pat and Brenda

"Little Britches" (ATF) Universe

Disclaimer: Please don't sue us, we only borrowed the cute little guys.

Based on a true event


Dear Mizz Nettie:

Hi. This is J.D. Vin and Mr. Ezra are helping me to write to you. Mr. Ezra is laughing at lot, but he is nice. So are you.

I am in the first grade because I am such a smart boy. Billy Sikes is in the first grade too and he didn't have to do penmanship because he broke his hand on the weekend. I thought this was really cool because I do not like penmanship. Mr. Ezra says please not to tell Chris and Buck until they cool down. How can they cool down when it is winter?

So we came home from school on the bus and Vin and me walked in the door. Miss Lizabeth was waiting for us. About then I thought, boy, I'd much rather play than do penmanship, so I slammed my hand in the front door. Vin says this was a dumb idea and he is right. I forgot it would hurt REALLY BAD. I began to cry and blood got all over and Miss Lizabeth screamed and then got all white and fell down. Vin says she ain't a very good housekeeper. Mr. Ezra says he agrees.

Love,

J.D.

7 7 7

Dear Mizz Nettie:

This here's Vin. Mr. Ezra is helping me with my spellin' too. He is nice. When J.D. slammed his hand in the door, he started to bleed and he screamed something awful. Mizz Lizabeth was no help at all. I got J.D.'s coat off and figured he broke his hand. Since Mizz Lizabeth just lay there on the floor, I decided I better fix it. So first I used a kitchen towel and held his hand till it didn't spurt blood so bad. Then I remember that when Mr. Buck broke his arm, they put a splint on it. So, I ate two popsicles real quick and used them for my splint. Mr. Ezra thinks this is funny. I couldn't find where the first aid kit is, and Chris told me that I shouldn't go in other people's things, so I got duct tape out of the kitchen drawer and used it to splint J.D.'s hand. I wrapped it up good.

Now JD was still a screaming and Mizz Lizabeth was still on the floor, so I was gonna call 911, but thought I'd call Mr. Ezra instead, since he says we can call him any time we have a question. Mr. Ezra says we done good. That's when Mr. Chris, Mr. Buck and Mr. Nathan came home real fast. Then Mr. Chris and Mr. Buck took JD to the hospital and Mr. Nathan helped Mizz Lizabeth. I'm not sure why, but Mr. Chris is real mad at Mizz Lizabeth. Mr. Ezra says its because she's too delicate to take care of boys. I think Mr. Ezra is right.

Please don't be mad at Mr. Chris and Buck because JD had to go to the hospital. It was not their idea for him to slam his dumb hand in the door. They got him to the hospital real quick and took good care of him.

7 7 7

Earlier:

In the emergency room of the local Denver Immediate Care facility, Chris Larabee listened to high pitched screams coming from the cubicle where the emergency staff was attempting to remove 4 feet of duct tape from JD's tiny hand. Buck's frantic attempts to still JD weren't doing much good and Chris wondered if JD had a future in opera or hog calling because the little fellow definitely had lung power on his side.

Hands shaking, he took a sip of coffee and was secretly glad they threw him out of the cubicle. Old Bucklin had his hands full this time. JD was in full voice, poor little guy. And what a shock it must have been to slam his hand in the front door.

7 7 7

Ezra Standish had spent the evening baby-sitting young Vin Tanner, the foster child of Chris Larabee and Buck Wilmington. Vin had been terribly worried about his little cousin, and worried too that the authorities would take them away from their temporary foster parents.

"Mr. Tanner," he had promised solemnly, "I will be delighted to help you write a letter to Mrs. Wells so she knows that they are doing a good job with you and JD. Little boys break things all the times, even arms and hands."

"Yeah, but when she finds out he did it to get out of penmanship exercises, I think she'll be mad." Said Vin sadly.

"I think that we had best wait for awhile before we reveal that particular facet of this evening's adventure to Mr. Larabee and Mr. Wilmington," said Ezra, after coughing to cover up the sudden fit of laughter that had taken him. JD truly was a handful, and he failed to see anyone less than a fully trained professional as a proper guardian for the young rapscallion.

Since Vin couldn't sleep, he put the youth in his pj's and told him stories till Vin fell asleep in his lap.

As Ezra began to nod off, he heard a car pull up and soon a sleepy eyed Vin was awake and waiting anxiously to learn what had happened.

Soon they heard Buck's boots scrapping off snow in the entryway.

"Took em 45 minutes to get that damn duct tape off," Buck was muttering.

Soon Chris appeared followed by Buck who was carrying JD in his arms, followed by Nathan Jackson. JD was out like a light and snoring. He had a big white bandage on his formerly silver duct-taped hand.

"I think he did pretty good for an seven-year old," said Nathan, "Best bandaging job I've ever seen."

"Would have helped some if he used gauze," said Chris Larabee dryly.

Ezra could feel little Vin start to tremble next to him and he picked up the boy. "Don't worry, Mr. Tanner," he said consolingly, "I'm sure no one is mad at you. You did extremely well in an unfortunate circumstance."

The wiley agent looked over his friends. Buck looked like he'd come out of the wrong end of a bar fight. Chris looked tired as well, while Nathan Jackson appeared to be silently amused.

"May I ask how our young Master Dunne faired."

Nathan Jackson smiled down at Vin, "Vin, you did a wonderful bandaging JD. The only thing you did wrong was you should have put some gauze over this hand before you put the duct tape on. The nurses in the emergency room sent you a bunch just in case you need it again. You splinted up JD just like a pro. His finger was broken but you stopped the bleeding just fine. You could be doctor someday, Vin, or a paramedic."

Vin looked pensive, "I want to be an ATF Agent like Mr. Chris and you, Mr. Nathan. Could I do that and be a paramedic too?"

"You bet," was the hearty response.

"What happened to our poor Miss Elizabeth?" asked Ezra curiously.

"She'll be just fine," said Nathan, "She's one of those people who can't stand the sight of blood. I took her home."

"Woman has no business sitting for little boys if she can't stand the sight of blood," said Larabee tersely, "I'm taking out an ad for a new housekeeper."

"Perhaps one with combat experience would be a good idea," observed Ezra, and was surprised to receive a thoughtful look instead of the usual Larabee glare.

JD chose this moment to wake up.

"Hey Vin!" he greeted his cousin with his usual enthusiasm.

"Hey JD" said Vin smiling. "Do you feel better?"

"Yup," said JD. "They gave me a shot and I feel kinda dizzy. I learned new words from the nurses. Mr. Buck says I can't use em." He confided happily.

"Well," said Buck cheerfully as Ezra and Nathan prepared to leave, "At least you can still go to school JD. It's lucky that you broke your left hand instead of your right hand. Now you can still do your homework."

Ezra and Vin exchanged quick glances as JD looked astonished and then started to howl again.

"Goodnight, Gentlemen!" said Ezra hastily as he and Nathan made good their escape.

The End