ATF Universe
Disclaimer: I don't own The Magnificent Seven. I own my story.
This story suggests lots of adult type activities but there is nothing graphic or too upsetting. This suggests sexual activities with Casey.
Thanks to my beta readers, ARAMIS and Susan, who have made this story readable.
This is supposted to be a comedy of errors.
JD carefully adjusted his position, not believing how much he hurt. Last night had been bad but this was worse.Six weeks before, he had been hit with some homemade shrapnel. The bomber had left a "Little Surprise" for the law enforcement personnel that were combing through the rubble left from the first set of bombs.
He had been the unluckiest of the guys that day. Ezra got hit with two nails, one in the right arm and one in the left leg. No one else was hurt. JD had spent three weeks in the hospital in an age where the standard hospital stay for mothers and new babies was only 12 hours. He got six pieces in his back and four others in his legs. He had been lucky that he hadn't bleed to death from the piece that nicked his left kidney. Another piece that had ripped through his back had damaged his rectum. He was grateful that it had stopped there and hadn't done any nerve damage.
The long hospital stay hadn't helped his mood much. He had developed an infection in one of the leg wounds. So they kept him for what seems like forever! It didn't help that the emergency room staff had ignored the chart and the emergency card in his wallet and had given him a tetanus shot. He spent the first week on his stomach with an IV out of one arm. The other was so swollen that he couldn't move it. Both legs were wrapped so that he couldn't move them and risk pulling out the stitches. The final injustice was that he had to use a bedpan to pee. It could have been worse; he could have had a catheter. No computer time, no video games, he couldn't even turn the page of a newspaper for that first week. He was bored out of his mind.
The day before he had gone back to the doctor for his final clearance to return to work. They had done an ultrasound of his kidneys. Everything thing had healed nicely, a little scarring but nothing that should cause any problem in the future.
Then they had told him to roll over on their tiny table for the last check. JD had assumed that the doctor had wanted to check the scars on his back. How wrong he was!
He was positioned on his side and the doctor had pulled his shorts down. He didn't know what the doctor thought he was going to see, but he smeared something on his anus and started shoving this hard plastic thing up his butt. Once he got it in, he expanded it, stretching it farther and farther. All the while telling him that he wasn't allowed to have anal sex for a full year. JD just groaned. This doctor had seen Buck in this mother hen from hell overdrive and had assumed it was lover-like rather than a guilty big brother. He didn't bother correcting the doctor's impression. He was simply bemused at the fact that some people had sex on the brain. Why couldn't two guys over the age of 21 be roommates without outsiders assuming they were gay?
He got his release to go back to work, finally!
He gingerly had walked out of the office, regretting his choice of new jeans and his motorcycle. He knew this was going to hurt. He walked around previous night like a bowlegged old man, taking tiny steps and avoiding sitting down if at all possible.
He had gone to bed early last night with an icepack on his butt and the alarm clock set for 6 am. He was due out at Nettie's for a date with Casey at 7am.
Casey had sprung a surprise of her own on him. When he got to the ranch, she had two horses ready for a morning ride.
They rode for about an hour, when she suggested that they stop and enjoy the view. Out of the saddle pack, she pulled out a blanket and a box of 36 condoms. She artfully arranged them on the mountainside overlooking a small lake.
He smiled, he guessed that she considered permission to go back to work, permission to go back to all his normal activities as well. Not that he was upset with her boldness, but he did think that 36 was a little over enthusiastic.
He was more than willing to try to meet her goals for the morning. That goal appeared to be that they should both be naked and use as many condoms as possible in the next two hours. Okay, so he wasn't really the sexual athlete that Buck's bragging suggested that he is but for Casey he would give it his best shot.
The morning ended badly. They had been playing; rolling around the blanket, trying some of the stuff they had seen or heard about, when the accident happened. JD rolled off the blanket and landed on a sharp rock. He couldn't just get poked on a cheek, oh no it had to try and ram itself up his already abused anus. He was embarrassed when Casey asked if she should check it out.
He declined her offer.
He thought that he had lucked out because a small cold stream ran nearby. He sat it until his backside stopped hurting. Okay, so he tried to give himself hypothermia, but he was dreading the hour-long ride back to the barn.
His next fatal mistake was that he used his boxers to dry off and had stuffed them in the saddlebag with the other stuff.
Jeans and hard saddles were not a good combination for a sore butt.
He could barely walk when they got back to the barn. The ride home was almost as bad as the horseback ride. He never realized just how much the machine vibrated until every vibration stated to hurt.
He made one stop on the trip home, the drug store. He brought a tube of haemorrhoid cream.
He laid on his bed with his butt in the air, praying that he would be able to work on Monday. He didn't want to imagine what he would tell Chris that wouldn't bring Nathan over to do his own examination.
"Well, I was getting laid and accidentally tried to shove a sharp rock up my butt." Talk about a red flag for Nathan to come over.
How about, "You know the exam the released me to go back to work, well it caused so much pain that I can't sit down?" Nope, another red flag.
Either way, his butt would be the butt of every office joke for months to come. He was even making puns about it. This was bad.
To add to his problems, Nettie had found his boxers and the condoms and was threatening to put some buckshot into him if he came around her innocent niece again. Nettie would cool down, but she informed Chris about it first. To make all this even worse, they hadn't even needed to use a condom, he got hurt before they had need one.
So he lay there, hoping that the ointment worked and he wouldn't have to tell anyone what actually happened this weekend. He never thought that the word embarrassing should be separated into em-bare-ass-ing but that was how his life had been that weekend.
The end
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