ATF Universe
Incredulously, Ezra stared at the man at his feet. If he was hearing the words correctly, this unique individual was sitting there telling him that not only did he know how he felt but that he gladly accepted those feelings. "I hope you will share this plan with me.""Already told you phase one. Want to spend some time with you. Go to dinner. Talk. You know, do all that stuff people do when they are getting to know one another."
"But we know each other. We have worked together for over a year now."
"Yeah. We’ve worked together but just how much do we really know about one another? I want to know all about you. Your hopes, dreams, fears, past memories, everything. I want to tell you all about mine."
Those last few words settled into the air between the two men, lingering as they both sat silently, thinking about the consequences that would come up if they were to take that next step. Ezra quickly reviewed his misgivings he had listed in his head at the bar. Each one seemed less and less disturbing as he began to accept the words Vin had just offered him. When he looked into Vin’s shadowed face, he could see the apprehension in his eyes. At that moment, he realized that he wouldn’t be taking that step alone. He would be sharing it with someone who wanted to be there standing next to him. It had been a long time since anyone had wanted to be there next to him. It had been a long time since he had wanted to share a part of his life with someone else.
He leaned forward and reached for Vin’s hand. Gently, as if he were holding a piece of spun glass, he slid his long fingers over the back of the tanned hand, encircling his wrist. Blue eyes flew up at the light caress, tracking the slow progress. He could feel his heart pick-up its tempo as the pressure increased around his wrist. Cocking his head, he caught Ezra’s eye and silently asked him what the next move was going to be.
A small smile crossed the southerner’s face as he read the questioning gaze. "What happens if this doesn’t work out Vin? What I mean to say is that I value your friendship so highly that I don’t want to lose it."
Vin’s other hand moved smoothly to intercept the loose hand dangling from the rocker. "Don’t rightly know what the future is gonna bring but I do know this," Vin shook Ezra’s hand, causing the man to look him directly in the eye. "I don’t want to turn my back on this. Somethin’ inside of me is tellin’ me that it would be wrong to ignore what’s going on."
"But…"
"No buts. I am and always will be your friend, Ezra. Just like you are and always will be mine. Nothin’ can change that. As long as we’re honest with one another and don’t hide anything from one another, I don’t see how we can lose here."
"Are you always so sure in times like this, Vin?"
"Naw. Just sure in you."
Fifteen
A car backfired in the street below, causing Ezra to jump at its loud bang. Vin chuckled as he watched Ezra’s involuntary reaction as he reached for his absent weapon. "Hey Ez. Whatcha gonna do? Shoot Miguel’s car?"With a rueful shake of his head he laughed softly. "Guess that would be a crime to obliterate such a wonderful piece of automotive history."
"Yep." Vin squeezed Ezra’s knee as he stood up and stretched. "You want to listen to some music?" He smiled when he saw a small yawn escape from the southerner. He glanced over at the mantle clock and was surprised to see that it was almost eleven o’clock.
Ezra followed his line of sight and grimaced when he realized how late it had gotten. It didn’t seem like they had been talking for so long. Knowing that they both had to be in early at the office the next morning, Ezra shook his head no. "I think that it is best that I start to make my way back to the condo. You know how Mr. Larabee gets if we are late to these lovely inter-departmental meetings."
"Yeah, guess you’re right. So…"
Vin watched as Ezra moved over and placed his gun back in its holster and slipped into his coat. He could feel the blue eyes follow his progress through the room and smiled at the warm feeling that it produced inside of him. As he finished buttoning up the last button, he turned to face the Texan. "Are you busy tomorrow evening, Mr. Tanner?" he asked with a grin.
Blinking at the unexpected query, Vin’s tongue slipped out and moistened his lower lip. Ezra’s grin wavered slightly as his gaze was diverted to follow its path. Seeing how the normally unflappable man reacted to his unconscious movement, a lop-sided grin emerged. "Well, I don’t have my date book handy, but…"
Ezra clicked his tongue against his teeth and shook his head. He knew that Vin’s sense of humor was poking its head out and he loved it whenever it made its appearance. He grabbed the cordless phone off its cradle and held it out to Vin. "I’m sure if you called your assistant, she would be more than happy to check it for you."
"Well, even if there was something in it, I would cancel it for you."
A delighted light sprung up in the green eyes as Ezra digested those words. "Well, then. What do you think about dining with me tomorrow evening at one of my favorite establishments?"
Vin knew the type of places Ezra liked to eat at. He quickly reviewed the contents of his closet and was relieved to remember that his sports coat was indeed hanging there in the dry cleaners bag. "Well, as long as I can read the menu, I would love to join you."
"Shall we say seven o’clock then?"
"Sounds good to me. I’ll swing by and pick you up." Vin almost burst out laughing at the small look of horror that passed through Ezra’s eyes. His jeep was back in the shop getting the axle replaced and Ezra knew that his only other mode of transportation was the rebuilt Harley.
"Really, that isn’t necessary. I was hoping you would allow me to stop by and pick you up. My invitation, my ride."
Vin bit the inside of his cheek as he pretended to ponder this new development in the invitation. He knew that Ezra was expecting to drive them tomorrow night as he never willingly got on the back of his bike before. When he thought that enough time had passed, he nodded. "Kay. But next time it’s my invite and my ride."
Ezra caught sight of the mischievous glint in the sharpshooter’s eyes and groaned. He should have known that the practical joker was pulling one over on him. Never one to ignore a challenge, he gamely smiled and agreed. "You have yourself a deal."
They both walked over to the front door slowly, barely touching but aware of each other’s presence. Vin reached out and grabbed the doorknob but didn’t turn it. Ezra’s breath caught in his throat at the look in the blue eyes that were focused on his face. Slowly, the southerner reached up and brushed Vin’s cheek with his fingertips, watching those eyes slip shut at the contact.
Vin cleared his throat and said with a soft smile, "I’m really glad you came up tonight, Ezra."
"Me too, Vin. Me too."
Vin slipped his arm around the smaller man slowly, so as not to startle him. Pulling him close he squeezed the broad shoulders and inhaled the scent that always reminded him of Ezra. After a slight hesitation, Ezra’s arms reached around the slim man and returned the embrace. He was certain that Vin could feel the rapid beat of his heart through the many layers of cloth that separated him but found that he didn’t care. He concentrated on the feel and smell of Vin that surrounded him. They stood there quietly, enjoying the closeness of one another for several minutes. When the clock announced the hour, the two men reluctantly pulled apart, smiling self-consciously.
"Well, then. I had better get on the road."
"See you in the morning, Ezra. Drive safely."
Sixteen
The next day flew by in a blur of meetings and paperwork. Before anyone realized, it was quitting time and the federal building was emptying out at a dizzy pace. Buck, JD and Josiah had dropped off their folders and hightailed it out a half-hour earlier. Chris just grinned as he saw the flying coattails enter the elevator car. Nathan had slipped out after lunch, using some personal time. He had mentioned that Raine was suppose to be flying in sometime this week so he was probably doing some things in preparation. He craned his neck around his door jam and called out to the last two people in the office. "Guys? You about finished?"Ezra signed his name to the bottom of the form he had just pulled from the printer and held it out to his supervisor with a flourish. Vin grinned at the playfulness that was hardly ever seen from the undercover agent. The look on Larabee’s face was even more priceless when he tried to take the paper from the man. Ezra’s face was blank of any humor as the two men laid claim to the same sheet of paper, having a mock struggle for ownership. After a few seconds, the southerner abruptly released his hold, causing Chris’ arm to jerk back and almost hit the wall.
"Funny, Standish. You should audition at the local comedy club," Larabee growled, his smile betraying any thought of anger.
Vin and Ezra grabbed their coats and made their way slowly towards the elevator bank as Larabee slipped the last of the documents in the inner office pouch. "Hang on guys. I’ll ride down with you," he called out.
The two men were slightly amused by the slight delay in their evening. They had both been working hard to get out of the office on time but it seemed that the more papers they placed in the outgoing bin, the more appeared in their in baskets. Vin winked at Ezra as Chris slipped on the car and stood between them. The car descended swiftly, stopping only on the lobby level to pick up the receptionist. Seconds later, the door opened and they all got out and made their way towards the cars.
"Hey, you fellas want to grab a bite to eat?"
"No thank you, Mr. Larabee. I have other plans."
Chris looked over at Vin with an expectant look. He knew that the sharpshooter had only been eating the food out of the vending machine today because of all the work. He must have been hungry. "Vin?"
"Naw. I’m gonna head home. Got some food in the fridge that I need to finish up before it goes bad."
Ezra slid into his car and waved good-bye to the two men as he turned the ignition. He pulled out of his space and headed towards the garage entrance. Keeping an eye on the rear view mirror, he watched as Vin and Chris said good night and Vin jumped on his motorcycle. With a smile, he saw Vin strap on his helmet and jumpstart the bike. He put the car into gear and headed home. If he was going to make it to Vin’s on time, he would have to hurry.
Seventeen
Vin made it home to his place in record time. All of the lights seemed to be working for him, he didn’t have to stop too often and the traffic was light. He waved hello to the kids as he hurried into the apartment building, planning what he was going to wear in his head. After a quick shower he towel dried his hair and slipped into a fresh pair of boxers and moved to grab a beer from the kitchen.The Dockers and button down shirt were laid out on his bed that he had thrown together earlier that morning. He brushed his teeth, shaved and finished drying his hair before moving out to the bedroom. Glancing at the clock, he saw that he had only five minutes before Ezra was due to arrive. He slipped into the pants and grabbed the navy blue shirt as he made his way into the living room. Standing next to the front window, he put on the shirt and buttoned it up as he watched for Ezra’s car. Just as he was tucking it into his waistband, Ezra’s Jag pulled up to the curb.
He stepped back from the window and looked around the room, trying to see if there was anything he needed to get out of the way. He grabbed up the wet towel and tossed it in the direction of the clothes hamper before straightening up the newspaper from that morning. A knock sounded at his front door as he finished picking up the last of the paper. Searching frantically for a place to stash the paper, he ended up shoving it under the couch. ‘Like Ezra always says, appearances are everything.’
He moved to the front door and, before reaching for the doorknob, he drew in a deep breath, held it for the count of five and then exhaled. He wiped his hand on his pant leg and then opened the door. "Hey, Ezra. You’re on time!"
Vin could see that the southerner had taken the time before meeting him to change clothes as well. He could see that his hair was still damp. ‘Musta taken a shower too.’ He smiled when he realized that they both were going out of their way to help make tonight a good evening.
"We did agree on seven p.m." Ezra quirked an eyebrow at Vin, waiting for him to ask him in. When the other man stood in the doorway staring, Ezra smiled. "Can I come in? These bags are getting heavy."
Vin furrowed his brow when he realized that not only was Ezra standing on his doorstep, waiting to take him out on a date, but he was carrying several bags. "What’s going on? What are the bags for?"
"Well, I was thinking about our evening. I want to spend tonight just with you. No interruptions. So, I thought that maybe it would be nice if I picked up dinner from one of my favorite restaurants and we dine alfresco here on your balcony." Ezra busied himself with the packages, avoiding eye contact. He had been nervous about single-handedly changing their plans but he really wanted to make the evening as comfortable for Vin as he could. Realizing that Vin was not a person who loved dining at the finer restaurants, Ezra thought that he could bring the best parts of his favorite restaurant to him.
Vin studied the man as he bustled around his kitchen, pulling out plates and utensils as if he had lived there for years. Just as Ezra passed by him to make his way out to the balcony, Vin reached out and grabbed him around the waist. When Ezra finally looked up into his eyes, Vin could see the apprehension that Ezra was feeling. He smiled at him, trying to ease his nerves. It pleased him that Ezra went out of his way to make tonight special for just the two of them. While he would have gone and enjoyed spending the time with Ezra at the restaurant, the thought of having the man completely to himself sounded even better. "Sounds like a winner to me. What can I do to help?"
A flare of delight flashed in Ezra’s eyes at Vin’s words. "All we need is for you to bring a couple of wine glasses to the table. Everything else is ready."
As Vin made his way to the table, he stopped along the way to switch off the lamps in the living room, leaving only the stove light on. Dusk had settled, bringing out the stars in the clear sky. He placed the two mismatched wine glasses on the table and rubbed Ezra’s shoulder. "Thanks for doing all this Ezra. It looks great."
"My pleasure, Vin. Sit. Let’s partake of this feast Chef Thomas created for us." Ezra filled their plates with a variety of pastas and cold meats while Vin poured some of the Clos du Bois in each glass.
Vin handed Ezra his glass with a smile. Just before Vin took a sip of the wine, Ezra stopped him. "Wait. We need a toast. It’s bad luck to drink wine without a toast."
"You’re making that up!"
"No, really. My second stepfather owned a vineyard in Napa and he taught me the ways of wine. I remember distinctly that it was essential to have a toast when one opens a new bottle of wine and prepares to enjoy it."
The Texan looked seriously over the rim of his glass, and said, "Well, what do we toast to?"
"How about this," Ezra said, raising his glass to Vin’s. "Here’s to new steps taken together slowly."
Vin considered Ezra’s toast and smiled. "New steps. Where ever they may lead us."
They both took a sip of their wine and busied themselves with the food spread out before them.
Eighteen
After the food was cleared away, they made their way over to the couch, wine glasses in hand. They had opened the second bottle somewhere during the dinner, between the stories of misspent youth escapades and first memories."That chef of yours sure knows how to cook."
"Yes, well, I will be sure to give him your compliments. Did you get enough to eat?"
"Why? You got another bag you’ve been holding back?"
Ezra laughed. He was always in awe at the amount of food the lean Texan was always able to eat in one sitting. "Well, I may have had him slip a final course in a small bag."
Vin put his glass down on the side table and started searching the room for the last bag. If there was one thing Vin loved, it was dessert. The gooier the better. When his search turned up empty handed, he turned and glared in mock anger at the grinning man sitting to his left. "It’s not polite to tease a man in his own home."
With an innocent look in his eye, Ezra raised up both his hands to show that they were empty. "What do you mean, Vin? I’m just sitting here, enjoying the evening, the company and a lovely glass of wine."
Vin pushed against Ezra, nudging him with his shoulder. Seeing that his stare was not getting him what he wanted, he resorted to the next best tactic he had at his immediate disposal. He leaned over close to Ezra’s ear and whispered, "So, what’s a man gotta do to get his dessert?"
A shudder ran down Ezra’s spine as he listened to the words being breathed into his ear. ‘Damn. This man doesn’t play fair!’ Turning his head slightly towards the soft words, he found he was able to study the object of his desire up close. The long curling eyelashes that framed the blue eyes held a speck of gold highlights that matched the ones in his hair. He noted that Vin had taken the time to shave before dinner. The light scent of soap and wine assaulted his senses, causing him to groan as another warm tingle made its way through his body.
"Um…"
Vin could see the reaction that Ezra was having with him being so close and he liked that feeling. He liked the fact that he could throw him off balance and know that he would feel safe enough to lean on him for support. Hell, it was just plain fun to see him sitting there all hot and bothered. "So, where is it?"
"It’s in the refrigerator," Ezra breathed, his eyes tracing the curve of Vin’s lips.
His quiet appraisal was suddenly interrupted when Vin vaulted off the couch and quickly made his way over to the icebox. With a triumphant yell, Vin stopped long enough to grab a spoon from the drawer before plopping back on the couch. The bag rustled as he dug into its depths and pulled out the plastic container. He popped the lid open and laughed when he saw what the treat was.
"Pudding?"
Ezra put a hand over his heart and feigned dismay at Vin’s question. "Surely, you jest!"
Cocking an eyebrow in Ezra’s direction, Vin slowly dipped the spoon into the chocolate treat and raised it to his mouth. The tip of his pink tongue darted out as he tentatively tasted it. Ezra’s eyes darkened as he watched him sample the dessert. He watched him with a smile as Vin quickly filled the spoon for a second time and slipped it into his mouth.
"This is really good, but something’s different. Looks like pudding but something’s different." Vin refilled the spoon and held it to Ezra’s lips, "Here, you try."
Ezra accepted the offering, holding the chocolate on his tongue as he savored the flavors. He knew that Vin was watching him, tracking the chocolate’s progress from the moment it left the spoon until he finally swallowed it. When he cleaned his sticky lips with his own tongue, Vin’s tongue mirrored his actions.
"Well?"
"You’re right. It’s not a pudding. It’s a chocolate mousse. It is made with chocolate, whipped cream and gelatin. I thought that our dinner would be complimented with this light dessert." When Vin dug back into the cup, Ezra had to struggle to keep from squirming. He never thought that watching this man enjoy a dessert would be so erotic. The pure pleasure that showed in his eyes and smile made him promise himself that he would always keep desserts in stock. He was startled when the spoon appeared against his lips again but he didn’t refuse the offer. He drew the spoon into his mouth and held it there for a moment, removing all of the mousse from the spoon before Vin pulled it back out.
The men finished off the chocolate together as Vin alternated the spoon between the two of them. When the container was scraped clean, he dropped it on the table with the spoon inside and leaned back, resting his head next to Ezra’s on the cushions, barely touching but relishing the closeness.
"Yep," Vin sighed with pleasure, "this is the life!"
"You’re just saying this because you just indulged in your favorite food group."
"Well, you can’t have too much chocolate! Don’t care what Nathan says. It should be one of the food groups."
"Who knows. Maybe one day Mr. Jackson will finally see your perspective and change the food chart."
Nineteen
The soft breeze from the open window paired with the dwindling supply of wine had mellowed both of them. They sat on the couch, staring at the stars and talking every once in a while. When Ezra reached over to place his empty wineglass on the table, he brushed his leg along the length of Vin’s, eliciting a small groan from the relaxed man sitting next to him. Boldly, he settled back, closely facing Vin and slipped his hand on top of Vin’s. Vin slowly turned his over and entwined their fingers together. They both looked down at the clasped hands and moved a fraction closer."Hey, Ez," Vin said softly. "Who was your first true love?"
Ezra closed his eyes briefly, as if he were searching his memory for an answer. It had been so long since he had ever thought of, much less spoken about himself in such an intimate way, he was at a loss for words. After clearing his throat slightly, he dropped his eyes back to their hands and sighed.
"My first true love? Well, that is a very good question." Ezra flashed a smile at Vin before continuing. "I haven’t really ever been head over heels about someone where I lost myself. But I would have to say that the first person who I cared about was Julia Stanton."
"Who was she?"
"She was a very lovely young lady I met my second year at University. We had run into one another in the Student Center a week before classes were to begin but didn’t speak. We were seated alphabetically in my Intro to English Lit class and got acquainted during that semester."
"What was she like?"
"She was enchanting. Came from a very well-to-do family. Smart. Funny. Beautiful. You know, just the type of person Mother would approve of. We dated for close to a year."
"What happened?"
"Long story short? I knew I fell for her. I loved her completely. We had a great time whenever we were together. Shared all our secrets and plans with one another but there was something missing. That first Christmas holiday, she had asked me to accompany her to her family’s winter home. I went since Maude had told me that she was going to be too busy in Italy with her current husband and couldn’t deal with a visitor at the moment. I was so sure that she was the one, I had begun to look for a place off-campus. You see, I was going to ask her to move in with me."
Ezra paused, looking back into his past, forgetting for a moment where he was. Vin waited in silence, letting Ezra find the words he needed to finish his story. When he squeezed Ezra’s hand in support, Ezra returned the pressure slightly. "We had been at her parent’s home for only two days when my plans were irrevocably changed. Her father had suggested that Julia and her mother go out shopping that morning. He said that he wanted to take the time to get to know me. Imagine my surprise when, as soon as the car pulled out of the drive, he handed me a white envelope. I didn’t know what was happening so I looked in the envelope and found an airline ticket and a check." Ezra laughed sharply, shaking his head at the memories. "You see, her father had done some checking around on me and found me lacking. I wasn’t good enough for his daughter. I tried handing back the envelope but he slid it back under my hand. Evidently, he and Maude had crossed paths at one time. He was one of the smarter men in my mother’s past and had escaped her web. His belief was that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I tried telling him that wasn’t the way things were but he wouldn’t hear any of my words. So, I packed my bag and was back in Massachusetts before Julia had returned from her shopping spree."
"You just gave up?" Vin stared into his face, memorizing the emotions that were racing through his eyes. "That don’t sound like you."
"I didn’t give up. I tried to talk with Julia when she returned for the Spring semester but she would not give me the time of day. She believed everything her father had told her and refused to even listen to me." After stretching his leg out, he wiggled deeper in the couch. "There was nothing I could say to make her listen to me. I think the hardest thing was the fact she would believe that I would take money over the chance to have her in my life. I never even looked at the amount on the check. Just left that envelope with the ticket and check on the dining room table and left."
"That musta hurt."
"Yes," Ezra whispered. "She was the first person I had ever offered my heart to and when I left that relationship, a piece of it remained behind."
Twenty
"That was a long time ago. You musta fallen for other people between then and now.""Yes, well…" Ezra shifted closer to Vin, catching and holding his eye. "What about you? Who was your first love?"
"I don’t know if I’ve ever really been in love yet. I’ve cared about a couple of people but the feeling just wasn’t that warm, tinglely thing you hear about."
"What about, um, your first? Surely you had, you were, um, what I mean is, did you love her?"
Vin smiled as he listened to the southerner trip over his words. With a smirk, he drawled, "What makes you so sure my first was a gal?"
"Uh,"
With a chuckle, Vin squeezed Ezra’s hand as he shifted it a further up his leg. "I’m just messing with you. My first was this cute little girl I met when I was overseas. I was on leave for a long weekend and just poking around Munich. You know, the entire time I was over there, I couldn’t truly believe I was there. I loved the feel of history that surrounded you when you walked down the small streets or ducked in one of them small shops."
"So, you met this young lady in Germany?"
"Yep. I was eating a piece of apple strudel outside of the market place there and she was sitting at the next table reading some book. She just started talking to me. Said she wanted to practice her English on a real American." Vin grinned at the memories. "She offered to show me Munich and the next thing I know I was eating at her kitchen table, tradin’ kisses and stuff. She was fun to be around and she sure did teach me some, what do you call it? Some ‘foreign diplomacy’ that weekend."
"Were you able to keep in touch with her?"
"Naw. I was doing some stuff that didn’t let me keep up with a lot of folks." Vin’s expression darkened at the thoughts of that particular time. "When I got out, I came back here and hooked up with an old Army pal. Started hunting bounties with him for a while."
Vin’s tone of voice triggered something within Ezra. With is curiosity sparked, he asked, "Was he someone you cared about?"
"Yeah. He was one of my closest friends. You know. He was the type of guy you could trust with your back. I’d known him for a good while. We always had a real good time when we weren’t hunting. We were sharing an efficiency, trying to save money."
Vin emptied the rest of the wine in his glass and took a sip before offering the glass to Ezra. Looking directly in his eyes, Ezra took the glass and sipped from the exact spot Vin had.
"One night we were out celebrating a big capture and had a bunch to drink. Next thing I remember is Bruce and I messing around on his mattress."
"Was he your first time with a man?"
"Yeah. I remember thinkin’ that it just felt right. See, Bruce and me were real good friends. We were both lonely and it felt good to hold each other."
"You never speak of him. Do you ever see him anymore?"
Vin tossed back the remaining wine before answering. "About the time Bruce and I had been together for about a year, we had agreed to take on a hard bounty. There was this guy, Carlos Morales, who had jumped back in Texas. He was wanted for six counts of murder and the day before trial he just up and disappeared. Cause the local Rangers’ office knew our track record, they called us in to consult. We tracked him for over three weeks and finally caught up with him in a small town just outside Maple Falls, near the border. Well, Carlos wasn’t going to come in on his own so Bruce and I split up to take him on either side."
"And?"
"Let’s just say that I returned to Texas with one coffin too many. Carlos had set up some booby traps around the place he was holed up in and Bruce tripped one of them. I had to shoot Carlos when he tried to make a break for the road."
"How long had you and Bruce been together at that point?"
"’Bout eight months. I stopped hunting after that one for almost six months. Sat around our place feeling sorry for myself. Wishing that I could go back and change things. Finally, I got sick and tired of looking at myself in the mirror and forced myself to call the sheriff’s office. Got a line on a bounty that was supposedly in the area, strapped on my guns and out the door I went."
"Do you still miss him?"
"Sometimes." Vin nuzzled his forehead against Ezra’s, causing the smaller man to lean closer. "I used to miss the company. Used to miss the sharing and stuff but, haven’t missed him as much lately."
Twenty-One
"Because of her?"Vin sat up a little, trying to look at Ezra to figure out what he was talking about. "Who?"
"I was referring to Mrs. Richmond."
Vin shut his eyes as if he were trying to erase that part of his past. "Charlotte." He blew out a large breath forcing himself to relax. "What about her?"
Shifting further into the corner of the couch, Ezra was suddenly wishing he hadn’t brought up her name. He had often wondered what had happened. What Vin had seen in the woman. Why he had broken things off. ‘Damn my curiosity.’ He could see how uncomfortable Vin was at this turn in their conversation.
Thinking about where he was today in his life compared to where he was ten months ago, Vin realized that he owed Charlotte a word of thanks. In a round about way, she helped him overcome his past. Sure, she had hurt him. Playing him like she did off of her husband but he did learn that he could care about someone else again. If it hadn’t been for her, he might not be sitting here tonight with Ezra.
"Sorry, Vin. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Let’s just change the subject."
The Texan looked over at the uneasy man and reached out to pull him back to his former position. "Naw. It’s okay. We gotta talk about it sometime."
"No. We really don’t. It’s your business. I have no right to pry."
Vin stared at Ezra in surprise. He couldn’t understand why Ezra would think that this wasn’t his business. If they were to have any sort of a chance to make this work between the two them, they were both going to have to be willing to talk. "Well, that just ain’t true."
"What do you mean?"
"The way I figure it is this. Our pasts have helped make us who we are today. Some if the memories might not be pretty but they are a part of us." Ezra sat quietly, listening intently to Vin’s explanation. "See, I wanna know everything about you and I want you to know whatever you want to know about me."
"Everything," Ezra said softly, rolling that word over his tongue as he contemplated exactly what that might mean.
Vin chuckled. "Don’t worry. I ain’t gonna ask you about your potty training or nothing. Just want to learn things you want to share with me so I …"
"My what!" Ezra sputtered. "I’ll have you know, …"
With shoulders shaking from trying to contain his laughter, Vin grabbed both of the southerner’s hands, pulling him right up into his face, their noses touching. "I was just usin’ that as an example. But if you want to share…"
Finding himself up close and very personal, Ezra focused on the two eyes, catching the mischievous gleam in them. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Vin’s and said, "How about we keep these little tidbits for all events that occurred after age five?"
"Deal!" Vin rubbed his head gently against Ezra’s before pulling away.
Twenty-Two
"So, where were we?" Ezra wanted to allow Vin the luxury of taking this opportunity to pick where he wanted to go with this conversation. When he thought about what Vin said about how their respective pasts formed who they were today, he realized that he didn’t need to know all the details about that woman."Charlotte. Well, I guess that I didn’t really spend a lot of time with you guys when I was seein’ Charlotte." Ezra shook his head no, remembering how he had realized just how much he missed Vin during that period of time. "She just kinda took me by surprise." Ezra reached over and pulled Vin’s hand onto his lap, fiddling with the callused fingertips. The feel of Ezra’s hand over his calmed his nerves, helping him continue his story. "You know I met her at the Community Center, right? Well, we just talked every so often about stuff. She really listened to me. At first I didn’t know she was married. Wasn’t something we talked about, besides she wasn’t wearing any wedding ring. Didn’t cross my mind to ask."
"How did you find out then?"
"Her husband showed up at the Center one night lookin’ for her. You coulda knocked me over with a feather. All I had to do is look in her face and see it was true."
"Had you, um," Ezra asked, staring out the window. "Did you and … Oh, hell."
"Did me and Charlotte what? Have sex?" Ezra nodded, avoiding eye contact with Vin. "Nope. We just had been spending time together and all that. She told me that her and Will were separated and she wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Just didn’t feel right going that next step when she wasn’t sure what she really wanted."
"I’m a bit confused. I thought that she had moved in here with you."
Vin started kicking the table leg and stared up at the ceiling. "She was at a really bad place. She tried goin’ back to her husband but their fights just got worse. She showed up here real late one night. I think she was really looking for a friend. You know, a safe place where she could figure out what to do next. So, I offered her my bed and I crashed out here on the couch that week."
"So it was platonic then."
"I thought I was falling for her and when she showed up on my doorstep, I figured that this was our time. The first couple of days were pretty good. We talked a lot. I can remember that Thursday night. We had just finished up the Thalis case without any of us ending up at the ER and I got home pretty early. She had made dinner, there were candles on the table and that mushy music women like playing."
Ezra grimaced slightly, picturing the web the black widow had set up.
"We ate and I told her about the day and somehow we ended up in the bedroom kissing. But somewhere between taking our shirts off and reaching for the light switch, something went off in my head. I just couldn’t sleep with her. Here was this woman who was still married to someone else and I was just using her."
"Using her?" Ezra scoffed. "There is no way you could use someone. You are too honest."
"Remember, I was the one who was laying out on the couch every night listening to her dream about her husband. She would call out his name in her sleep. I cared about her but I didn’t love her. In some ways, I know that we were both just using one another. She was lonely and so was I. Her husband was always away on business and she didn’t like that. And here I was, feeling sorry for myself, missing Bruce and I was trying to use Charlotte to make me feel better."
"So then what happened?"
"We ended up laying on the bed and talking all night. The next morning, I called in sick and helped Charlotte pack up all her things and then drove her to her sister’s place. Last I heard, she and Will got back together and are expecting a kid."
"It sounds like you took the honorable route. I don’t understand why you were so reluctant to discuss the outcome of this situation with the others when they asked you."
"Weren’t any of their business. I figure, they told me what they thought of her and my friendship with her enough. You know that Chris and the others all laid into me when they found out she was married. They just assumed that I needed to leave her alone. Never asked me what I wanted to do. I had had enough of that when I was a kid. Promised myself that I would never let anyone tell me what to do anymore. ‘Sides, no one else but you asked me if I was okay." Vin looked at Ezra out of the corner of his eye, trying to read his thoughts.
"I just wanted to offer you my support. It wasn’t my place to pass judgment. The others were just worried about you, Vin. You should know that."
"I know that. Just wasn’t what I needed right then."
Twenty-Three
"Damn. We gotta lighten up! Hey, you want some more wine?"Ezra smiled, shaking himself out of the deep thoughts that were trying to invade his mind. After checking his watch, he shook his head no. "If I am to get home tonight, I had better have just water."
Vin grinned and leaned over to whisper in his ear, "There’s no rule sayin’ you gotta go home, you know."
"Why Mr. Tanner! I’m not that type of man!" Slapping his hand over his chest dramatically, he stood up in mock outrage. "This is our first date!" As soon as the last word left his mouth, he realized exactly what it was he said. The silence in the room threatened to suffocate him. ‘Oh wonderful. Just wonderful. There you go, shooting your mouth off without thinking. What is he going to think?’
Vin’s smile spread wider as he stared up at the stunned man. "So, are you saying we’re dating?"
"Well, what I meant was that…" He dragged his fingers through his hair as he searched for an escape. He wasn’t sure what answer Vin wanted to hear and felt like he used to feel during his college final exams. All at once he felt that he had to answer this one question correctly or he would fail. He started to pace the room looking for the right answer.
"Hey, Ez. Relax. As first dates go, this is one of my best ones."
Ezra walked over to where Vin was sitting and looked down into his serious face. All of a sudden he saw the answer that he had been searching for. "This is definitely the best first date I have had."
Twenty-Four
The mantle clock announced the arrival of a new day, ringing twelve times as the two men enjoyed the tranquility together. They both had moved back out on the balcony, and tried to stargaze. The clouds had moved in some time ago, obscuring their view. As the last chime faded away, Ezra turned to Vin and smiled gently."I had better start home."
"Invitation still stands."
"Can I have a raincheck?" Ezra asked quietly. "I am truly tempted but I don’t think that this would be the wisest thing to do right now."
Vin nodded, understanding what Ezra was leaving unspoken. While they both felt the pull of one another, they just weren’t ready to rush things. "Just remember, there ain’t no expiration on it."
"I will remember." He moved back into the room and helped Vin clear the glasses and remnants of their dessert from the living room. All too soon, he found himself at the front door, slipping into his coat. He slowly buttoned the front of it, trying to prolong the chore. When the last button slipped through its buttonhole, he turned to face Vin who was standing in front of the door.
The two of them stared at each other for a moment before laughing self-consciously. They were both nervous and knew it. Here was the point of the night that most people always longed for and dreaded.
"Well, don’t forget we gotta meet with Bobby and Little Mikey at ten."
"Oh, who could forget such an auspicious appointment. Is it going to be in the usual location?"
"Yeah. Hey, Ezra?"
The southerner looked up when he felt Vin’s hands on his shoulders. "Yes?" he murmured.
"Do you really want to talk about Bobby the Bopper and Little Mikey right now?"
"No. That isn’t one subject I had really pictured us having at this point."
"You pictured us here?" Vin asked delightedly.
A faint blush stole across Ezra’s face. "Well, um, yes. Yes, I did."
"So, what did you see when you were picturing us?"
Ezra looked up and locked eyes with Vin. "This." He leaned over and pressed his lips against Vin’s, softly rubbing them, learning their shape. When he heard a faint groan escape from his partner, he moved closer and slipped a hand behind Vin’s neck. He nipped at the lower lip, teasing it with his advance and retreat.
Vin tried to stay still and allow Ezra to set the pace but found that he couldn’t. His hands slipped down the southerner’s side and stopped just above the curve of his ass. Ezra found himself pressed up against the front door as Vin’s tongue darted out and traced the curve of his mouth. His mouth parted slightly, answering the unspoken request for entry. His own tongue met Vin’s half way, welcoming it in its search. The two of them stood for several minutes, enjoying the feel of their arms around each other, savoring the taste of each other, forgetting the world that waited for them on the other side of the door they were leaning against.
Vin’s hands made their way to the front of Ezra’s coat and began to unfasten the buttons Ezra had just closed. Just as the cool air hit the opening, Ezra’s head began to clear. He laid a hand on Vin’s forearm, signaling him that they needed to slow down. They pulled their mouths apart and leaned their foreheads together, eyes still closed, breathing deeply, trying to catch their breath.
"I think that maybe now would be a good time for me to make my departure or else I will lose what good sense I may still have and throw you down on the couch and not let you out of here until next week."
Vin chuckled at the picture that Ezra’s words painted for him. "Yeah. Like that would be a hardship!"
"It wouldn’t be for me but I believe that we need to take this a bit slower." Ezra placed his hand on Vin’s cheek, tilting his head up to meet his eyes. "I really want to do things right, Vin. This is not some quickie for me."
"Me neither, Ezra." He brushed his lips on Ezra’s palm before stepping back and beginning to rebutton his coat. "We’ll take it one step at a time. ‘Sides, we got all the time in the world."
Ezra pulled him tightly to him, rubbing the small of his back. He pressed a quick kiss to Vin’s cheek and pulled his keys out of his pocket.
"Drive safe, Ez."
"I will. Thank you for a wonderful evening."
"Next time, we’ll go to my favorite place!"
Ezra pulled back in feigned disgust. "Oh please! Don’t force me to eat McDonald’s! Anything but that!" He stepped out into the shadowed hallway and looked over his shoulder. "See you in the morning."
"See you in my dreams. Sleep well."
The southerner skipped down the three flights of stairs with a smile dancing on his face. His mind tripped back to his thought he had when he was in the hospital all those weeks ago. That saying that Josiah was always saying. ‘When a door closes, there is always a window that is left open.’
Upstairs, Vin moved to the open window to watch Ezra make his way to his car and slip inside. He didn’t move from that spot until the taillights turned the corner out of sight. ‘Yep. Tonight was definitely one hell of a first date!’
The End
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