Vin sat at the bar in The Saloon — he'd been there all evening, drinking. Uncharacteristically, his back was to the door, but he didn't care. At least, he didn't until an unwanted guest surprised him.

"This stool taken?"

"Yes." Vin continued to stare at his glass of whiskey.

The intruder sat down anyway. "Mind if I join you in a drink?"

"Sorta defeats the whole point of drinkin' alone," Vin replied.

Inez stepped over a moment later. "Hola. What can I get you?"

"Beer, please. So, Vin, you wanna talk about this?"

"Nope." He took another swallow from his glass, draining it, then held it out to Inez for a refill when she returned with the beer.

"Well, then maybe you should go talk to him."

Finally Vin turned, staring hard at the one person he did not want to see right then. "Why should I? He made it perfectly clear he still wants you."

"Vin—" Sarah began to say, laying a gentle hand on his arm, but he pulled away from her. "You don't understand. Chris may wish that car bomb never went off, he may blame himself, but he can't change the fact. It was three years ago. And he's different now. He may not admit it to himself, but if you'd known him back then you'd see it. Just ask Buck, he knows."

Vin shrugged, he didn't want to hear this, any of this, and most especially not from Chris's dead wife. "Just leave me the hell alone."

"That's not what you want and you know it. If it was you never would have let it happen. You never would have hoped or dreamed or wished for it to happen. You never would have gone there, gotten drunk, and done it with him."

Vin downed the amber liquid, and then slammed his empty glass on the bar. "And what do ya know 'bout any of it?"

"I was there."

Vin turned to her again, this time surprise plain on his face.

"I'm always there, Vin. There isn't anywhere else I can be."

"Ya watched us?"

She nodded and her long, brown hair brushed enchantingly over her shoulders.

"Chris spoke to me after — you heard him. He was drunk, but he never thought you were me. Not for one moment. He was apologizing to me, for loving someone else."

"What did ya tell him?"

"I told him I understood. That loving you doesn't mean that he loves me any less."

"So ... ya don't mind?"

She smiled at Vin and shook her head. "I want him to be happy, Vin. And he was happy when we were together. But now that I'm gone ... he needs you."

Vin frowned at the woman and noticed for the first time the faint lines beside her eyes, marking her as years older than himself — thirty-four or so.

"He was never really happy again after Adam and I died. Not until he met you. You changed everything for him, Vin. Don't you realize that?" Sarah placed her hand on Vin's arm again and this time he did not pull away. "You allowed him to begin healing. You enabled him to open up to the possibility of living again. To being happy. To being loved by someone besides me."

Vin hung his head — shaking it in response to what she said — not believing any of it could be true. He was gay and Chris was straight. He'd barely graduated high school and Sarah had a Ph.D. in Biochemical Engineering. He could never give Chris a child, a family, like Sarah had.

"I don't believe ya, Sarah! I ain't worth it. I don't deserve someone like Chris, not like you did." Tears began to well up in Vin's eyes. He wanted Chris to love him so much; he wanted everything that came with that man's comforting, secure, affectionate embrace. "How could he ever care 'bout someone like me?"

"We don't choose who we love, Vin. Love chooses us. I love Chris and he loves me, but he loves you, too, just as much."

"How can he love us both?"

"He didn't love me less the day Adam was born, the day someone new came into his life. Love is infinite, Vin, though you may find that hard to believe. You've had so little in your life, but you deserve it just the same, just as much as anyone else, maybe even more. He can love you, Vin, if you'll let him."

"I can't," Vin said as his shaking hand began to lift his glass to his lips, only to realize it was empty. Nearly dropping it, he set the glass back on the bar. "I'm afraid. What if yer wrong?"

"I'm not wrong."

"How do ya know?!" Vin demanded.

"Because," Sarah explained as she leaned in close, "I love you."

She then placed soft lips on Vin's. He could smell Chris's after-shave faintly on her skin, as if she'd just been with him. She stroked his hair, as Chris had done that night. As her lips parted slightly, her hand slipped down to caress Vin's shoulder. He stood then and drew her to him, yearning to feel her full against his body. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, needing to feel what Chris felt when he held her, needing to know why Chris loved this woman above all others.

Their tongues danced together, slipping in and out of the other's mouth, caressing, tasting, wanting. Sarah ran her hands slowly down Vin's back, her fingertips tracing each muscle fiber, sending shivers down his spine.

And the more she touched him, the more his physical need for her grew. His cock began to swell in his pants, straining against the heavy denim, demanding both release and relief. He'd never wanted a woman before, but he wanted this one, the one who'd made love to Chris, the one who Chris still wanted. He wanted to bury his cock so deeply into her, again and again, until their very beings melded. Maybe then Chris could love him, if he saw some part of Sarah's soul within him.

Maybe then....

"It's closing time," the manager announced to the few remaining customers in The Saloon.

"Thanks for calling me, Inez," Chris said. Vin's arms were crossed on the bar and his head rested on top of them. Chris laid a gentle hand on Vin's shoulder, and then slid it slowly down his back. "I'll make sure he gets home safe."

~ fade ~

Series Index

May 2001

Please do NOT repost this story anywhere outside of the Blackraptor Fiction Website.

Characters from "The Magnificent Seven," were used without permission and this story in no way signifies support of, or affiliation with, The Mirisch Group, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment, or CBS Worldwide, Inc. The M7-ATF universe was created by Mog, and extra thanks go to her for allowing other people to play within it. The story itself and any non-Magnificent Seven characters belong to the author. This story will not be sold for any reason.

Thanks to my beta reader for all of her help and encouragement!