Webmaster Note: This fic was formerly archived on another website and was moved to blackraptor in January 2009
Well Bonded
'Fuckin' waste o' time, f'y'ask me.'
Vin didn't want to come on this charade. Hell, none of us wanted to be here. Mind you, I saw him this afternoon with that damned paintballgun - no way he's gonna convince any of us he wasn't enjoying it and Buck isn't going to let him off that lightly.
'Looked to me like you were having a hell of a time, Agent Tanner.'
Vin growls but he's not fooling anybody. He's the best shot I've ever seen, even with a paintballgun, and it makes a change for him to have some fun with it. He's right about one thing though: it is a waste of time. Some kind of assholes that think men like us need to spend our weekend teambuilding. When you've put your life in a man's hands a dozen times over, who needs to go bonding?
Still, the beer's free and we're making the most of it. The room's a complete fucking mess, beer cans littering every surface and half the floor. Even Ezra's risking a night on the cheap stuff. Come to think of it, where is Ezra? I'm about to ask when he comes out of the bedroom. We all have to share like we're in the army or something, and even team leaders are in with the grunts, but it's not a bad setup all in all.
'Gentlemen, I have made an intriguing discovery. It appears that the egalitarian regime promoted so enthusiastically in this establishment does not extend to our briefing packs. Our illustrious leader received different joining instructions from ourselves.' He gives a slight nod in my direction. 'My apologies but you left it on the bedroom table.'
Like hell I did. Ezra's got no shame. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it - it's load of crap anyhow. Ezra drapes himself over the arm of Buck's chair with that catlike grace of his and points to something. Oh shit, they're going to make something of it even if I don't.
Buck takes another swig of his beer and then reads it out. 'While respect is an important element of successful teambuilding, you should not strive to appear invulnerable. By making yourself approachable, you will encourage team members to bring their ideas and concerns to you.' Buck looks across at me with a grin. 'You? Approachable?'
They have a laugh at that. Okay, so I'm not always the most patient guy in the world. I'm too wasted to get clever with him. 'Fuck off.'
'Listen to what they have to say,' he quotes at me.
I give him the finger.
Ezra turns a couple of pages and points at something else. Buck goes on. 'During this weekend, give the shyer members of your team a chance to step forward, take more control and develop their relationships with you.'
They're all sniggering now, even Josiah. Like I got any shy members in my team.
'Reckon I'm kinda shy.'
Vin's voice from behind my chair startles me. I didn't even see him sidle round. Next thing I know, he's got his arm round my throat.
'Take control, huh?' He tightens the lock, just enough to stop me breathing.
The others are watching him in surprise. There's a tense silence while the situation teeters on a knife-edge. As my vision starts to blur, I see Buck's grinning again and I know he's going to play along. Jesus. I don't know where we're going but I do know what Buck's like when he's rolling. Vin's a darker horse.
Buck stands up, tosses the folder onto the table, unbuckles his belt and starts to peel it out of the loops on his pants. Ezra's got that cool smile on his face as he does the same. In his chair in the corner, Josiah's smiling - noting it all down in that database of psychological detail he calls a mind. Sprawled on the floor, Nathan just looks vaguely curious, probably wondering how far they'll go. Beside him, JD's face is a picture - a bit of shock and a lot of fascination - he definitely wants to know how far they'll go.
And me? Yeah, I want to know too. I'm not fighting Vin. There's no point with the drop he got on me and I don't want to anyhow.
F-u-u-ck! My necks feels like it's going to break when he twists it round, ramming my face against the chair and jamming me so I can't move. I'd be worried if it was anyone else but Vin knows what he's doing. At least I can breathe again. Hands grab my ankles and pull my legs straight. I can't turn to look but it feels like there're hands all over me.
Christ! They're stripping me. I'm naked in seconds and then they bind my limbs with the belts, doubled up round my ankles and then doubled again around my wrists. The leather bites into my flesh as they crank the straps up tight and latch the buckles. I test the bonds but they're secure. Of course they are - this is Team 7 we're talking about.
Vin yanks me back so sharp that I'm on the brink of blacking out. Just as I get back some sort of hazy vision, Ezra looms over me with something in his hands. A piece of fancy silk by the looks of it - he must be getting something out of this if he'll sacrifice one of that stable of overpriced ties. He gags me tight, knotting the twisted fabric at the back of my head and then bringing the ends forward and doing the same over my Adam's apple. It's not stopping me breathing. Yet.
The three of them stand back to admire their handiwork.
'Jesus, fellas. You can't do this,' JD's wail comes from behind them, 'Not to Chris.'
Josiah's deep boom answers him. 'Looks like they just have, son.'
I look across at Josiah, knowing that all it takes is one frown and this'll stop - now. I keep my expression neutral. I don't want it to stop and I see now that he knew I wouldn't. Damn but it gets creepy having men like Josiah around, looking inside your head when you least expect it.
'Nathan?' JD's stressed out by what he's seeing.
Our paramedic's laughing. 'Don't worry, JD. I got my kit in the other room - I'll patch him up, needs be.'
I turn my attention back to my captors and meet Buck's eye. This is mostly a joke to him. There's hardly a situation he can't get a thrill out of but it's more to do with getting one over on me for a change. We've been friends too long for it to matter. I can't think of anything he hasn't seen me do at one time or another.
When I look up at Ezra, he and Vin are swapping knowing smiles. They're self-contained types and I guess I've never asked myself what they do for kicks. Reckon I know now. Shy my ass. I see them arrive at some kind of unspoken agreement. Vin reaches under my armpits and Ezra takes a hold of the belt on my ankles. They hoist me up like I weigh nothing and head for the bathroom. Buck shoulders the door and holds it wide. They lower me into the tub and Ezra plugs the drain. Part of me is scared but I feel Vin settle me carefully against the cold enamel, making sure I don't crack my head on it. I'm turned partway onto my side, half facing them, legs pulled up a bit so that my ass and my dick are exposed at the same time.
They're all standing around the tub now and I study their faces one at a time. They're as slugged as I am - don't reckon we'd be doing this otherwise - JD shocked and scared, Josiah and Nathan relaxed and amused, Buck amused and hot, Vin and Ezra just plain hot. I wonder how I look, trussed and helpless, letting them do this to me. There's a flash of panic, as I wonder if I'll ever command their respect again, but it passes as fast as it came. They wouldn't be doing this if we weren't as close as we are. Vin and Ezra wouldn't be getting whatever it is they're getting out of this if I wasn't who I am.
I know where they want to take it, why I'm in the bath. I see them hesitate, wondering if that'll be a step too far. My eyes flick back to Buck. He's looking right at me, waiting to see if I want them to know it's okay. I could stop this now but I don't. He reads my mind and then reaches for his fly.
JD catches the movement and his eyes open wider than ever. His mouth gapes but he can't say a word.
Buck leans over the tub, one hand on the stark white tiles and the other on his dick. My wheezing breath is stifled by the gag as I wait for Buck's piss to hit me. Warm. Pungent. Pounding on my stomach. God but it's been a time since I felt that. We used to fuck a pair of waitresses way back that were into this stuff - I'd never done it before but it's easy to get into. 'Fore we knew it, we were pissing on each other as well as them.
I'm still reeling when a second torrent hits my ass - and believe me it's a deluge. I look at Josiah, stunned. I'd never expect him to go in on this but he's not an easy man to call. 'Course, we're here to bond and any man who hangs back now is going to be outside whatever it is we're doing here. In a weird way, they're as trapped as I am.
Nathan shoots for my dick, his reminding me of an eggplant in its purple-black glory. I've been pretty soft until now, while the thrill and humiliation fought each other, but my dick hardens under the pounding he's giving it, swelling more as Josiah hoses my root and ringpiece.
Buck's running on empty now. He flicks the final dribbles over my face and then shoves JD forward, leaving his own dick standing proud of his pants.
'I can't, Buck.'
I don't want to force the kid into anything he can't handle. I look up at him and see Buck measuring him the same. They're like brothers and Buck wouldn't hurt him for the world. But we both see the same - he wants to know what it's like. All that goes through our faces in an instant, and then he slowly unzips his fly and leans forward. Vin's watching with something like hunger in his eyes. Ezra has one hand on Vin's shoulder and the other in his pants pocket. I see the movement of his fingers on the bulge there.
I'm awash in piss now and the room stinks of it. Eight or nine cans apiece and we couldn't have been better prepared.
JD shuffles along a few inches and then lets go, hitting my chest. I see an apology in his eye for a second but it's chased away by the buzz of what he's doing. He plays his fine high-pressure jet over me, teasing first one nipple and then the other. Oh God, I never knew I could feel like this. I'm so hard it hurts. I wonder if I can come this way, without a touch - I never have before but…
It's over too fast for me to find out. There's a sense of loss as first Josiah and then Nathan dry up on me. Just a few seconds more before JD tails off too. That only leaves Vin and Ezra. They started this and I know what they want. Ezra reaches down, slips the knot behind my head enough to loosen the gag and pulls it free of my mouth. There's only a second's respite before he grasps the knot over my Adam's apple and twists it, sharp, making me gasp for air. He looks up at Vin.
'I do believe he's getting the idea.'
He holds the pressure, while Vin moves to his side and grins down at me. I look up into his hose, hanging huge in the distorted perspective. A shower of golden droplets cascade downward, settling into a flow as strong and steady as one of those lion's head fountains. A split second later it floods my open mouth, sour at first and then sweeter as I get used to the taste. Ezra loosens his grip and I struggle to swallow without choking. Vin's piss is spilling down my chin and over Ezra's hand. I'd never have guessed that fastidious son-of-a-bitch would go for this and I find myself wondering if Josiah had that pegged. Satisfied now that I'll do what they want, Ezra unzips. Shoulder-to-shoulder, he and Vin unite their streams just above me and keep my mouth brimming.
I don't think I've ever been as horny as I am now. Only one thing's missing. My dick's rock-hard, pointing straight at me. When I let go, my own piss hits me in the chin. I've got some sort of tunnel vision - I can't see anything apart from the monsoon beating down on me. It starts to fade and I want to scream out for more, to beg them not to stop. My dick's still emptying over my chest and now the tears flowing from my eyes meet the piss pooling at the base of my neck.
Slowly I regain my senses and look at my team again, their dicks out and as swollen as mine. They lean forward, each man with one hand on the wall and the other on his pole. Even JD's confident now. There's a smile of pure sin on Vin's lips as he reaches down, yanks the belt on my wrists and lets the buckle disengage. I pull my hands free and then work some life back into them before curling the right around my cock.
They move in unison, six hands gliding over six shafts, and I match their rhythm. They're watching me, eyes dark, lips parted. We're all as hot as hell. Nathan groans first and spurts sticky strings over my fist. JD gives a shout as he paints three stripes across my chest. Josiah heaves a sigh of relief as he scores a bullseye on my asshole. Buck winks and catches the tip of my dick, his clearer juice interlacing itself with Nathan's spew on the back of my hand. Vin and Ezra smile at each other like the evil bastards they are and then spatter my face while they fill my mouth again, now with pearl in place of gold. A ripple of excitement rolls right through my body. I've never felt anything so perfect. My cum traces an arc and falls across my body to mingle with my friends' offerings.
There's a moment of silence and then Josiah's strong hands free my ankles and Nathan cuts the tie from my neck. JD pulls the plug and Ezra tosses me the shower gel. I lather up while Vin sluices me down with the showerhead on the faucet, then he offers me his arm while I struggle onto my half-dead legs. Buck throws me a towel and grins broadly.
'Reckon we're bonded now. Beer anyone?'
Yeah. I feel well bonded.
The Pearl Divers
Last one and thank Christ for that. If I wanted to sit shuffling papers all week, I'd have been a lawyer and made decent money. The flash of satisfaction I feel when I look at the manila tower perched precariously on the corner of my desk makes me wonder if I'm a closet clerk after all.Just feeling good about a job well done, I tell myself.
Yeah, right.
I swing my chair back, thump my feet onto the desk and reach for the ceiling with my fingertips. A medley of pops and clicks tells me I'm not as young as I used to be.
The outer office is pretty quiet now, at nearly seven on a Friday night. Nathan and JD were out the door at five sharp, both taking their ladies away for the weekend - Chicago for Nate and Rain, Vegas for the youngsters. It took me back a few years to see them clock-watching this afternoon. We haven't got a lot on right now and I could have let them go earlier. I'm not sure why I didn't. Sour old guy feeling bitter? No… I would have if they'd asked but Rain and Casey don't get off that early anyhow.
Josiah wasn't much after them. He's off to some workshop in the mountains, barking at the moon or some such. There's nothing I'd be surprised to find him doing in his off time. Buck's only just left, showered here before picking up his latest from the second floor. He wanted me to go along because she's got a friend but I wasn't in the right frame of mind… haven't been for a few weeks.
Shit, no need to be coy. I haven't been in the right frame of mind for a foursome with Buck since that team building weekend. Leastwise, I wouldn't mind a foursome with Buck but I don't want the other two to be his latest pickups from the administration section. I look through the half-closed blinds at the last two members of my team. I've got no idea why they're still here.
Vin's at his terminal but there's nothing he needs to stay late on a Friday to finish. I can depend on him for pretty well anything, my life included, but not for getting paperwork in ahead of time.
Ezra's on the phone. I can tell from how he's sitting and the look on his face that he's swinging some deal. He'll never shake off the taint of corruption but the truth is that he mostly just talks people into, or out of, things.
Since that weekend, I've noticed a lot of things I hadn't picked up before. They're often in the office late and sometimes they leave together. There's something about the way they are with one another… familiar… understanding… odd because neither of them is a man to put other people at their ease. I don't mean within the team - we reached the well-oiled machine stage way back - but other people aren't so sure of them.
I always thought they were like chalk and cheese but now I'm not so sure. Both sharp, both independent, both self-contained… and that's the part that interests me. Ever since that night, and God knows it's a bit of a blur, I've wondered what they do away from the job… what I don't know about them.
A movement interrupts my thoughts. Ezra's off the phone now and he tosses something onto Vin's desk. Vin looks up at him with that slow grin of his, one thick brown eyebrow lifting in question. Ezra glances towards my door, then leans forward, palms flat on the desk, and speaks. I watch his lips closely but I can't make out what he's saying. Studying them, all I see is contrasts: Brioni versus Levi, close-shaven versus stubbled, carefully styled versus thrown together. But that's just on the surface. A lot of people have learned the hard way to look deeper with Team 7. Funny it's taken me so long to do the same.
Vin hauls himself to his feet, pockets whatever it was Ezra dropped on the desk, and they head over.
I'm not surprised. I realize I've been waiting for them to make a move. Tonight's the night.
They reach the door. Vin props himself against the jamb, while Ezra perches on the arm of the old couch-cum-bed along the wall.
'Jus' goin' f'r a drink,' Vin tells me.
Ezra follows up with the invite. 'We wondered if you might care to join us.'
Should I ask where they're going? What they're planning? No need. 'Sure.'
We head for the parking lot in silence. I find myself walking a pace or two behind. They're shoulder-to-shoulder, reminding me of that night again. Men don't usually get so close, well inside each other's personal space, upper arms brushing. I wouldn't think anything of it with Buck; he's real tactile with everyone, men as well as women, but these two aren't. Vin can't stand being crowded and Ezra's none too keen on bodily contact with the unwashed masses.
I'm watching their butts, surprised at myself for doing it, wondering whether that's what they intended when they took the lead. Vin's denim jacket only reaches his belt so I've got a clear view of his. The worn jeans and easy swing of his stride give him an innocent charm that I've seen women fall for a dozen times over. He's not much of a one for chasing but they catch his eye from time to time.
Ezra's ass is covered by his suit jacket but I can still see the muscles moving under the finely woven linen. With him, every movement's graceful, every detail perfect. Women admire the way he turns himself out, ask him for tips sometimes, and most of them think he's gay. I've wondered about it myself but I'm beginning to realize nothing's that straightforward with these two.
I see now that we're headed for the Saloon. I wasn't expecting that but it's okay. There's nothing strange in the three of us getting a drink because we've got nothing better to do. I'll admit I wouldn't be too easy people knowing what we did before and whatever we might be doing later but I know I can trust these two.
We nod to Inez and settle ourselves in a booth. She's with us in under a minute.
'Buenas tardes, señors.'
She gives Vin that coy smile of hers and gets a grin back. They've been flirting with each other pretty much ever since we've known Inez. I've never been sure whether he's fucked her or not but I know Buck thinks he has. It really pisses the old dog off to think she'd go for Vin not him. Looking at them now, I figure a game's all it is. Inez takes her religion seriously and playing some of Vin's other games might give her more time in the confessional than here in the bar.
Vin holds out a fist to her, waiting for her palm. Inez thinks twice about that but she knows him better than to think he'd pass her anything she didn't want. When she puts out her hand, he drops a little soapstone armadillo onto it. She's got a thing for armadillos but you don't see them all over the place like you do bear or rabbit toys. You can see she loves it. She leans over him, arms around his shoulders, and brushes the top of his head with a bit of a kiss, then stands up with that sparky vulnerability that makes her so cute.
'What can I get for you gentlemen?' She glances around us. 'Whiskey, beer, Mojita?'
'Sounds good, hon.' Vin gives her hand a little squeeze before he lets her go. If he hasn't dated her, he should think about it. A man can't play games forever and he could do a lot worse.
We look around in silence while we wait for her to come back. The bar's lively, usually is since Inez took over. She's got a way about her makes her born to run a bar. It's not easy to turn men on and keep them in line at the same time but she's got the knack. She's back in no time, unloading three glasses and a dish of cashews that won't hold Vin up more than a minute. He funnels a handful into his mouth while she moves out of earshot, then looks at Ezra.
'Mr Tanner and I were wondering if you might be able to resolve a minor disagreement for us.'
Vin nods, crunching solemnly.
A minor disagreement? I wait for Ezra to go on.
He sips delicately at his cocktail while he studies my face. 'We were speculating how long a man with your background, with special forces training and so forth, can hold his breath.'
Hold my breath? Shit, they're planning on strangling me again.
Another sip. 'Mr Tanner believes you could endure long enough to achieve satisfaction but I… well, I must confess I have my doubts.'
I don't know what I expected when I followed them here, but breath games weren't on the list. I've seen how oxygen deprivation distorts perception and sensation but I never thought I'd be doing it as a sex game. I'm not sure I want to end up as an erotic fatality in a column-inch at the bottom of a newspaper page. I once read that more than fifty people manage to kill themselves in autoerotic activities every year in the US. Of course, I wouldn't be on my own and they wouldn't let me die.
I don't answer. Instead I hear myself ask, 'Are you two… together?'
Vin's just swallowed one load of cashews and pauses before filling up again. He considers the question, as if he's not quite sure of the answer. Finally he says, 'Not in the way you mean.'
Ezra smiles at him. 'We share some interests.'
I bet they do.
'Perhaps we were mistaken but it seemed to us…'
Vin takes over his sentence smoothly, '… like maybe you shared some interests too.'
I hold his eye. Do I? Share some interests? I guess I must. I can't figure it out. I'm not gay. I'm not just saying that but, Christ, when you've chased as many women as I have you don't have too many doubts on that score.
It's not that I'm turned on by the idea of us fucking. It's the idea of *how* we'd be fucking that's doing it. I guess that's what Vin means. This is about what they do, not who they do it with. I don't doubt their fun includes women when it suits them, maybe other men too, but that's not the point.
'Limits,' Ezra prompts helpfully, 'Or, more accurately, the exploration of limits. Man-woman, pain-pleasure…'
'…Life-death. You know how close they are, Chris. You know what it's like when you wait for it to go either way.'
Yeah, I know. I've always got more than enough of that from the job. I don't know why I'm even considering this. Too long at a desk, maybe.
Vin drops the cashews back into the bowl and rummages in his pants pocket. He leans back and lifts a foot or so clear of his seat to get his hand in deep. I've got my head tipped forward, like I'm looking at the table, but I'm watching through my lashes… eyeing up a man's crotch. Don't they say there's a first time for everything?
I can see the outline of his cock as his knuckles shove it downwards. He's maybe half-hard but I don't know if that's going down after the hug from Inez or coming up thinking on what we're talking around. I glance down at myself, glad to see the evidence hidden in the folds of my suit.
He throws a set of keys on the table. So that's what Ezra gave him back in the office. Keys to what? He arches an eyebrow.
I down the whiskey and set the glass down deliberately. Yeah, I'll bite.
They smile at each other, the same smile I saw seconds before they shot their cum over me six weeks back. I don't know if it's taken them that long to dream this up or if they were waiting till they figured I was up for it. Whatever.
Vin drains his beer but Ezra leaves the rest of the Mojita. Inez watches us leave, a little frown creasing that pretty face, probably a matching pair to the one I'm wearing myself. This time Vin's at my side when we follow Ezra back to the department parking lot. He walks close to me but not so close as he was to Ezra. It's not till we turn the corner into the lot that our arms brush. Any other time, I wouldn't give it a second thought but now it sends a shiver right through my shoulder.
What the hell's happening to me? I'm about to fuck a man for the first time and I line up two together and pick men I've got to work with afterwards. And you know what? I'm gagging for it.
Maybe if I hadn't come close to it a few times with Buck over the years I'd be more worried than I am. But how much difference is there in fucking women together and just plain fucking together? I'm about to find out.
Vin gets in the front with Ezra and I slide in behind him. The legroom's nothing to shout about in the back of the Jag but he shunts the seat forward to give me some space. We glide across the city in the deepening dusk. I'm not keen on the XJS but I've got to admit it's a comfortable ride and Ezra's as smooth behind a wheel as he is everywhere else.
Heading west, we leave the offices behind and reach residential streets. The apartment blocks get smarter and slowly give way to houses that first grow in size and then fall further back from the pavement. After a while, all we see are gated entrances and even they're getting further apart. Ezra hangs a right at a set of lights and then follows a left-right-left-right course for half a mile or so. He swings into a driveway on the left, headed straight for a set of twelve-foot iron gates. It feels like he's going to drive right through them but they swing open.
We can't even see the house from here. It's not the kind of place ATF agents spend their Friday nights. It's the kind of place we bust.
'Whose is this?' I listen to my own voice, pleased to hear suspicion when I thought I might hear anxiety.
'It belongs to a friend,' Ezra tells me.
Vin glances back over his shoulder. 'S'okay, Chris. He's legit.'
'And absent,' Ezra adds, 'Along with the staff.' He pulls up in front of the porch. It's one of those neo-classical efforts, all columns and pediments, not my style but imposing just the same. I'd sooner have my ranch any day but then I'm not out to impress anyone with my success.
It takes Vin a few seconds to get through the locks on the big old paneled door. I follow him inside, feeling dwarfed by the place even while I'm telling myself it's nothing, and wait while he turns off the alarm. The lobby must be fifty feet across, lined in marble like a mausoleum, making me want to look around for the tomb. Doors stand half-open on either side of us, leading to rooms so big I can't make out the walls from here.
Only our echoing footsteps break the silence, as Ezra leads us through a door tucked behind the staircase that sweeps up to the second floor. The den beyond is more my scene - with walls lined in books and ancient oak furniture covered in books, it reminds me of my grandfather's place when I was a kid. I can see how a man would feel comfortable here, hiding away from his money.
Vin helps himself from a small bar, this time pouring whiskeys all round. They seem right at home here - the guy must be some friend. Before I can settle in, we're on the move again. Glasses in hand, we trail after Ezra, back out through the mausoleum and into some kind of ballroom. Vin takes the lead and heads for the French doors at the far end of the expanse. The light Ezra switched on at the door barely reaches this end of the room.
More locks.
When I step through the doors behind them, I sense the space before I see it. I catch a whiff of chemicals and place it just as Vin flips the lightswitch. Uplighters wash the walls from behind troughs of plants. The ceiling dances with the refracted rays thrown up from lights at the bottom of a swimming pool.
I frown. They're serious about this breath business.
Ezra catches my eye. 'We thought it might help if we reproduced the environment in which you trained as closely as possible.'
That makes me laugh. What the hell makes them imagine this is anything like the environment I trained in? I don't recall any mansions or heated pools but maybe I took leave that week. The amusement fades as I consider the idea. I expected them to put a cord round my neck or a bag over my head. I guess water's no different. As a matter of fact, Ezra's right in a way - there is a reassuring familiarity about it.
They're watching me, following my thoughts as if I was speaking out loud. We depend on that when we're working and it doesn't just stop when we're not. I chew on the corner of my mouth, trying to think this through before saying it's okay. The trouble is, all I can think about is the pulse in my dick; it decided we were going ahead half an hour ago and it's wondering what we're waiting for now.
'Okay.'
Vin grins and Ezra heads for some built-in cupboards along the wall. He comes back with a plastic crate that he puts on the table beside us.
'How long you figure we got?' Vin asks me.
I think about that. 'Was a time I could go past two minutes but…'
'Been a few years and cheroots since then?'
I don't need him to remind me time's passing me by. I'm about to lie but then I realize there's no point. 'Ninety seconds, tops.'
'Ten bucks says it's long enough,' Vin says to Ezra.
'If you care to double that, Mr Tanner, I'm not too proud to take your money.'
Vin nods and sifts through the stuff in the crate. He pulls out a pair of padded manacles with a length of chain attached. Ezra reaches into his jacket pocket and tosses a small tin and a few packets of rubbers onto the table. I pick up the tin: swimmers' grease. Course we need something that's not going to wash off.
I peer into the pool again. I notice something on the bottom now and lean over. I can't make it out clearly but it looks like a ring set into the concrete. There are more, further along.
'You done this sort of shit before?'
'Uh-uh,' Vin answers as he untangles the last links of the chain. 'Saw someone foolin' around at a party, gave us the idea, but they had a longer chain. It was jus' a game.'
Meaning they could breathe. Isn't this just a game? 'You planning on killing me for real then?'
Another grin. I've never dwelled on it before but it lights up his face, with those perfect even white teeth he's got. If he was a woman, I surely would have noticed a smile like that. 'Naw. But…'
'But you want me to go past the wanting to breathe stage…'
'We want to help you explore your limits,' Ezra explains.
It's crazy but I want to try it, to stand and look over the edge.
Vin holds up the chain. 'You got a quick release catch here.' He demonstrates it. 'All you gotta do, any time, is jus' reach down and let it go.'
'And, of course, we shall be there to intervene should there be a problem.' Reassurance fills Ezra's soothing voice.
This is like those S&M games, where the masochist's the one in control. I've never seen the point, either you let someone abuse you and take the consequences or why bother? But now I'm doing the same thing - I want to get close to the edge but I sure as hell don't want to go over it. It's good to realize that. I wasn't too keen on life after the bombing. It's these guys - and the other four - who've made me want to hang on to it again. And now it's them who want to help me risk losing it.
God knows but I'll get an earful if I manage to kill myself doing this and I end up wherever Sarah is. But what the fuck? Decision made, I think through it again. 'Right, say we got ninety seconds. I'll need you to get me down there and fix the chain. Every time I move, we lose time.' They nod. 'How deep is it?'
Vin answers. ''Bout eight feet. We reckon you'll only be just under, allowin' for the chain.' The grin's back. 'We gotta get up to breathe ourselves.'
I go back to my training. 'Okay. I'll float on the surface and relax, get to my baseline breathing rate and then take four progressively deeper breaths. After that, six very deep and closer together. We go on the last.'
'What'll we see if you're havin' trouble?'
'Disorientation, lack of coordination and then I'll pass out.'
Ezra's been over to the cupboard again and I feel a chill up my spine when I see what he sets down by the pool. Bolt-cutters. It's good to know he's not taking any chances.
I start to unfasten my pants, still focused on the pool. As I unbutton my shirt, Vin pulls his T-shirt over his head and Ezra mirrors his movement to take off the cashmere turtleneck he's wearing. It's only when they drop their pants that I remember I'm stripping for sex with two guys. My dick's having second thoughts now, barely lifting the cotton of my boxers. Theirs are harder but held close to their bodies by snug-fitting black briefs.
Ezra peels his off and I glance away but what's the point in that? No use getting shy now. I force my eyes back, then feel them open wide. He's only got a Prince Albert. I can't take my eyes off it, even though I know I'm staring. The ring's most of an inch across, with a ball closure. He wasn't wearing that on the team building weekend. It passes through his slit and you wouldn't notice the hole underneath with the ring out.
Vin sees where I'm looking and laughs. 'Wait till you feel it.'
That brings me up sharp. Am I ready for Ezra to fuck me? I hadn't got as far as thinking who'd be doing what to who but the surprise I feel tells me I was expecting it to be Vin. It seems like they've got it all planned and it feels too late to back out now anyhow.
I look back at the rubbers lying on the table. I can't see how we're going to keep them on while we're setting up but I know it doesn't pay to be careless these days. Vin saunters over and hands me something. When I make out what it is, I feel the color in my face: a locking cock-ring. I must seem like a high school virgin to them. Vin tosses another ring to Ezra and then slips the last over his own cock. I follow suit and then match his rhythm as we get ourselves hard again. When I'm solid, I reach for a rubber. I'm back on familiar territory now, rolling it on and catching the base inside the ring as I pull it tight.
Ezra's already greased up and holds the tin out to me. I'm beginning to see what Vin meant by 'not in the way you mean'. This has got nothing to do with making love to someone - or even fucking in the way I know it - it's more like shooting a few hoops after work. We're not touching each other, let alone kissing. Maybe that'll come later but it's still part of the game, not part of real life. I spread the stiff grease over the rubber and work it around my asshole.
Ezra's watching me. His pupils are so dilated that I can hardly see their usual vivid green color but there's a trace of worry in his voice when he says, 'We wouldn't want to cause you undue… discomfort.'
My turn to grin. 'You won't.' I've never had a guy fuck me but it's not the first time I've had something up my ass. Sarah had a thing for it, giving and taking. I hadn't done it since I lost her but I got her box of toys out a couple of weeks back, spent a while remembering and then moved on to some imagining.
He holds my eye and then nods. I glance at the shot glasses on the table, contemplate sinking mine, but then decide to keep it for later. I don't need anything interfering with my body right now.
So, here we are then - naked and hard. Time to take the plunge.
I walk over to the pool, sit on the edge and then slide into the water. It's close to body temperature so I barely feel it. That's a help, keeps my heart rate nice and steady. When they slip in either side of me, I lead the way to the ring, floating on the surface when I'm over it and letting my breathing stabilize.
Then I begin to draw the air deeper, right down into my abdomen and then back up through the chest. One. I clear my mind. The secret to breath control is managing the primitive brain, suppressing the instinctive urge to panic when oxygen runs short. Two. I look at Vin; he's counting. Three. Then at Ezra; he's with us. Four.
Now I fix my eyes on the ring in the base of the pool. One. This should be easier than training - no kit, no task, just hang in the water. Two. Except that there's no way I can control my heartbeat through a fuck. Three. I want to laugh when I think of my old instructor seeing what I'm doing with his training. Four. Maybe we should have fucked first, to break me in. Five. Shit, I want to back out. I close my eyes. Calm down. Six.
Hands take my arms and pull me under. I open my eyes again. Ezra's beside me, still holding my right arm. I look down and see Vin's hair floating around his head; he's holding the ring with his left hand while he hooks the chain with his right. When he lets go, Ezra moves behind me and glides his hands over my chest. He pulls me closer, pressing his cock against my lower back.
My doubts about what we're doing fuel the low-level anxiety that goes with a free dive but I push it all out of my mind, just how we were taught. There's nothing to worry about, no reason to doubt these guys here any more than when I'm looking down the barrel of a perp's gun. When you've got a task to complete in an exercise, you have to balance mental alertness with enforced calm to minimize the demands of your body. Now I can give in to the drowsiness, letting them fuck me and knowing they'll get me out if I drift too far.
Vin's in front of me now. He presses his cheek against mine for an instant, his hair brushing softly against me while he does it, then drops down and closes his lips over my dick. God knows what that grease must taste like but he goes for it anyway. The ring was keeping me hard but I wasn't feeling anything much. Now my heart quickens at the thought of him blowing me.
Maybe this won't be so easy after all. I've got to maintain some control but too much and I won't come. I reject the conscious thoughts and drift. An awareness of the oxygen in my blood seeps through me. Seconds tick past and it's as if I can feel the cells in my body draining my reserves.
Behind me, Ezra chews on my shoulder and teases my hole with those manicured fingertips. First one and then two slip right inside, buried up to his knuckles. It doesn't hurt even when he makes it three - he's that good. I press back onto his hand but then, just as I feel the contractions start in my diaphragm, he heads up for air.
I suppress my own need to breathe and struggle with the sense of abandonment. Then Vin's back with me, that fleeting cheek-to-cheek contact before he wriggles around behind me. Seconds later, his long slim cock is inside me. Taking advantage of Ezra's preparation, it passes easily through my ring and brushes my prostate each time it delves deeper. His thrusts match the pulses in my temple… one-two… one-two…
I barely feel them change places but then my hole opens wider over the thickness of Ezra's shaft. The Prince Albert ploughs a furrow through the muscle as it passes. I tense momentarily but then force myself to relax. The pain's over in a flash and then it's… sublime. I reach to caress my dick, still slick with grease even after having Vin's mouth on it.
Vin's back. A stream of tiny air bubbles escapes from his mouth when he smiles. He spreads his legs either side of me, lines up and then pulls himself onto my dick. In one easy movement, he releases his cock-ring and rolls off the rubber. Hands on my shoulders, he braces against me. I fumble with the ring on my dick, feeling Ezra doing the same behind me. The blood surges through it again and we start to move. Ezra thrusts into me, pushing me into Vin. I surrender to the thrill of his cock stretching me while mine stretches Vin.
My gut spasms: time's running out. The thought floats lazily by, like a cloud in a summer sky. I'd need to pull myself together if I was alone - being too relaxed can get you drowned. My lower throat gives an involuntary groan as it begs for air. Anxiety and tension burn up the oxygen faster than anything but, sandwiched between these two, I feel too safe to panic. I'll have to go for the catch in a second… just another second…
Pleasure blossoms outwards from my groin and I can't end it yet. Just a little longer and I'll be there. I reach a hand out to touch Vin's cheek. It misses, falling short by I don't know how much. He frowns and looks past me. Ezra's cock stops, mid-stroke. I push against Vin to keep the movement going, focused solely on the flesh connecting us. We can't stop now. I've never experienced anything so intense.
Vin mouths at me.
I nod but he's still frowning. I pull him onto me, greedy to finish this. It seems like the lights in the pool have dimmed. I can see ahead but my peripheral vision's fading. Vin's still looking at Ezra but then I feel them both reach a decision. Ezra pumps hard, forcing me into Vin while Vin jacks off.
The lights are flashing now, colors swirling through my brain. Red and orange pulses flow up from my dick and collide with cool blue and silver sparks from the back of my eyes. Oh shit, I'm gonna come or die. One or the other.
Ezra stiffens behind me, burying himself in a final deep thrust. The convulsion transmits itself through me, forcing the jism out of my body. Just before the darkness closes in, viscous threads swirl from the tip of Vin's cock like smoke trickling out of a chimney stack.
I try to reach for the catch but my hand doesn't move. Water floods my lungs.
As the light seeps back in, something hard pummels my back. Water spews out of my mouth and I choke.
'You okay, Chris?'
Vin's voice. What the hell happened? I'm lying face-down on ice-cold tiles with him astride my hips. I'm naked and a second later I realize that he is too. His cold, limp cock's tickling the base of my spine. It all comes back to me and I laugh. At least, that's what I'm trying to do but it comes out as a cough.
'Are you unharmed?' Ezra's sitting beside me, butt naked right by my head.
I struggle onto my forearms. No chance of speaking yet. I nod.
Vin slides off my back to sit with Ezra. 'That was too close.'
I swallow a couple of times and shake my head to clear the dizziness. My breathing grows more even. It's a minute or two before I can control my mouth and even then there's not much voice to go with the movements. 'Vin… Ez owes you… a twenty-spot…'
That makes them both grin. We got there. Vin reaches over and rubs my shoulder blade. Ezra pushes the hair out of my face, letting his hand linger for a second. We're not lovers. I'm not sure what we are but I know we're closer than we were an hour ago.
Breaking and Entering
'Night, Chris.' Josiah's deep voice rouses me from a doze. 'You should get some sleep.' He winks and heads out of the office.
I haven't been sleeping so good, that's true. It's nothing new for me to lie awake at night but it's usually because I'm worried about the job or blue about the past. It's a novelty for the problem to be a raging hard-on that seems to be back as soon as I take care of it.
Nearly two weeks have gone by since the swimming pool and I've been waiting - hoping - for another invitation. Last week, I kept wondering if I'd disappointed Vin and Ezra somehow. After that, I moved on to thinking maybe it had been a once-only offer. This week is different. I knew on Monday that nothing would be happening.
Let me tell you up front, I've had my ups and downs with Ezra. It took me a long time to trust him and, even now, it only goes so far. But on the credit side, he's a solid member of the team. One thing's for sure, I can count the times he's let his personal life interfere with the job on one hand. As a matter of fact, I'd have fingers to spare.
Right now, it's another story. I don't know what went down last weekend but he might as well not be here for all the use he is to the Department. I asked Vin about it yesterday. Maybe that was unfair because I wouldn't have asked him before I knew what I know but there you go. Anyhow, he gave me a sad look and just said, 'Maude.'
I don't know what kind of mother has to fuck her only son over every chance she gets but, if it's been that way since Ezra was a kid, it's a wonder he's not a worse crook than he is.
Don't get me wrong. I like Maude. I guess we all do. She's easy to like if all you've got to do is spend an evening with her. That doesn't mean I'd want her for a mother - I wouldn't. It'd be easier on Ezra if she treated him like shit all the time. He'd have moved a state away years ago and left it at that. Maude's torture is far more subtle, treating him like her baby boy one time and then undermining him the next.
Whatever she did last weekend hit home real hard. I've never seen Ezra so low.
It's only when he shifts his weight that I notice Vin at my door. I saw him hanging around earlier - I even went and washed up just in case I'd been wrong about this week - but then he disappeared so I thought he'd left for the day. He looks at me for a second, then holds up a video tape. When I nod, he comes in and closes the door behind him.
'Y'asked me 'bout Ez.'
True. I did.
'I was wonderin' if ya'll be up for liftin' his spirits some.'
With a video? 'What's that?'
'A favorite o' his. I went by for it in my lunch break.'
That piques my curiosity. 'You got keys to his townhouse?'
'Nope.'
Like Vin needs keys to get in. A lockpick's as good as a key in his hands. 'So, what is it?'
'Might be best if we stopped by my place to take a look.'
'Okay.' Maybe this week's looking up after all. I grab my jacket and make for the door but Vin doesn't move. We're only a foot apart and he looks me right in the eye.
'Remember we talked 'bout limits?'
'Yeah.'
'I don't wanna make no trouble for him.'
Meaning this could get weird and he wonders if I'm up for it. 'This involve anyone else?'
He shakes his head.
'Then I don't see we've got a problem.'
With a little nod of satisfaction, he opens the door and heads towards the elevator. I walk by his side, comfortable now with how things have changed between us. I don't even feel anxious about what he's going to ask me to do. There's a side to him I didn't know about before but he's the same kind, principled man I always knew he was. I'd put money on him being settled with a wife and kids in a few years time but no reason not to have some fun in the meantime. Okay so we're going to play some bizarre sex game to cheer Ezra up, instead of taking him to a ball game or something, but it's still just a friend looking out for a friend.
We take Vin's Jeep and swing a left onto Acoma Street, going south for his place. We don't say much, a bit of chat about some changes in the Department and then I give a commentary on the first half of last night's hockey game because Vin missed it.
The neighborhoods get poorer as we get closer to Purgatorio. Some wiseguys in the office rib Vin about living here, can't understand why he doesn't move now that he makes decent money, but he likes it well enough and it's convenient for work. Of course, he'll probably think again when that wife and family come on the scene. When we're out at my place, or a job takes us out of the city, I see how much he likes the land. He'd want his kids to grow up with room to breathe.
We pull into the parking lot behind his building. I'm not keen on bringing the Ram down here. None of the kids would touch anything of Vin's but they might not realize I'm a friend. Vin jogs up the four flights of stairs. I'm right behind him, concentrating on my breathing so it's nice and even when we reach the landing. Every time I come here, I tell myself I'll take the stairs more often at work but it never lasts.
I follow him into the one-bedroom apartment he calls home. It is homely too, in a man's kind of way, with magazines, videos and DVDs all over the show and a refrigerator full of beer and the sort of food your mother tells you that you shouldn't be eating.
'Beer?'
'Thanks.'
He tosses me a Bud and then a big bag of Doritos. It's like we're settling down for a regular movie.
'No popcorn?'
He gives me the finger before stuffing the tape into the machine and grabbing a couple of remotes. It's not until he drops down on the couch beside me that his proximity and scent remind me what's coming. My cock stirs in anticipation.
He runs a few seconds of blank tape before a scene starts with a caller at a door. He laughs softly and hits rewind. I guess the tape's usually lined up at the end of Ezra's 'favorite'. I think about that. I can't picture Ezra telling someone that, not even Vin. 'He told you this was his favorite?'
The little laugh again. 'Not 'xactly. We were wasted one night and he ran it f'me. I figured he was hopin' I'd set it up for him so I left it t'give him time t'forget he'd showed it t'me. I was gonna talk t'ya 'bout it sometime but then, what with Maude an' all, now seemed as good a time as any.'
That makes sense.
He punches play, watches the screen, then mutters, 'Near enough.'
The picture is dark and it takes me a moment to make out that it's outside at night. A figure's moving through undergrowth. No, make that two figures. Men dressed in black with ski masks. They're making their way toward a block of swanky apartments. As I watch their approach, I realize first that it's better shot than most of the porn flicks I've seen and second that they're making a fair stab at acting out the kind of infiltration we do all the time. I shouldn't be surprised that Ezra has the best in blue movies, the same as he does in everything else.
The break-in is authentic, making me think that someone on the production team had professional experience. I wonder where it's leading. Ezra's a greedy son-of-a-bitch but I've never heard of a man getting his rocks off watching someone else's rocks being lifted. Of course, I don't get around as much as these two.
It all becomes clear when the intruders reach the bedroom. Minutes pass as we watch the householder's ordeal. I find myself wincing with him, my hands gripping my knees until the knuckles shine white. I hear my own sigh of relief when the cum finally dribbles from his dick and then realize that my cock's as rigid as my hands.
Vin stops the tape and leans back, waiting to see if I can handle tonight's excursion.
'So, you're suggesting we break into Ezra's place and then, *if* some neighbor doesn't call the cops and *if* Ezra doesn't shoot us thinking we're for real, we torture him?'
'Yup, that's 'bout the size of it.'
'Christ, Vin, are you serious?'
'It's what he wants.'
Is it? I've only got Vin's word on that and the last thing I need is to assault an employee who doesn't want it. 'Are you absolutely sure? I mean, that stuff's got to hurt like hell.'
White teeth flash at me. 'You don't reckon maybe it was a mite painful punching that ring through his dick?'
Good point. I still feel doubtful, not wanting to do something without understanding what it is that I'm doing. 'Has this got anything to do with how things are with Maude?'
Vin looks puzzled for a second then catches up. 'Like punishment or somethin'? Naw, leastwise, not so far as I know. He don't wanna be humiliated or nothin' like that. It's jus' the physical thing. He don't wanna be… damaged neither. So don't knock him around or cut him.'
So what we're talking about is carefully applied pain to sensitive nerve endings. I don't know why but that sits easier with me. It fits in with what I've seen so far too - physical limits of the body not psychological twists. 'You go in for this stuff too?'
'Pain?' he checks. I nod. 'Sometimes. Real fine line 'tween…' he casts around for the phrase, 'agony and ecstasy. Ain't a 'ticular thing o' mine though.' A sly grin spreads across his face. 'Reckon y'already seen that.'
I think back to the hunger I saw on his face when JD pissed on me that night. Yeah, I've already seen Vin's particular thing. Then a doubt flickers through my mind. 'Do you get something out of hurting him?'
He thinks on that for a while, sensing my unease at what it could mean for his suitability to do the job we do. 'Not as such. Gets me hot seein' what it's doin' for him though.'
Fair enough, I guess. My cock's still heavy with blood from watching the tape - I've got no doubt I'm going to get hot seeing what it's doing for Ezra as well. Right now, I wonder if I'll last that long.
Vin's been taking the tape out of the machine and now he stands in front of me, weight on one leg and hips tilted. After studying me for a minute, he unhooks the end of his belt, pulls it so the pin is almost free of the hole, and raises an eyebrow.
God but I want him. I don't say anything but I know my answer's there in my dilated pupils and flushed skin.
He drops his jeans and steps out of them with an ingenuous seductiveness. Maybe nine inches of slender dick is already weeping expectantly. He reaches to the shelf behind him, passes me the ever-present rubber and lube, and then kneels on all fours in front of me.
I'm about to sheathe my thicker staff when I recall his fleeting thrusts in the pool before he went for air. I stand up to lose my pants, then kneel beside him and push him back onto his heels. Remembering something I saw one of Buck's pickups do, I put the rubber in my mouth and then lean over and set it on the tip of his dick. It's not as easy as it looked but I manage to unroll it with my lips as I move them over his shaft. Although I sort of understand the game we're playing, I'm still a little hazy about the rules but his hand cupped around my head tells me it's okay. When I'm done, I position myself in front of him, offering myself just like he did.
Vin uses his greased thumb to circle my hole lazily. The fleshy pad covers the puckered flesh, pushing against the entrance without penetrating it. He rotates his hand so that the fingers can play over my root and massage my balls. Looking over my shoulder, I see him stroking his dick through the rubber with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand. His dreamy expression tells me to let him take this at his own pace. I rest my head on my forearms and close my eyes. It feels… exquisite. That's what Sarah sometimes used to say when I got it right and that's just how it feels.
It feels strange after the needy sex we've just watched, and that we intend to deliver in a few hours, to share in this slow-burning arousal. Drifting back to when I was in high school, I remember how I often used to take a bath instead of a shower on a Saturday night. I'd put a cassette on loud and have a long slow wank before letting some girl tease me all evening and then give me a feel if I was lucky.
Of course, I don't have to worry about being left high and dry with Vin. No matter how long he takes to get there, he won't stop before the finishing line. My cock jerks in excitement when he takes his thumb away - I'm aching to feel his dick inside me again - but instead it's his tongue that sweeps around my ring. No one's ever done that to me before and the shock jolts through my whole body. It feels great but, even as I begin to accept it, I'm worried that I'm not clean enough in spite of the wash. Vin's hand runs reassuringly over my back muscles and his tongue probes harder, reaching right inside and tantalizing me with its warmth and wetness.
It seems an age before he lines up behind me. I pull a newspaper from beside the couch to cover the carpet underneath me and then savor him stroking the tip of his dick across my buttocks. I hear my juice pit-pat onto the paper and look down to see it dissolving the newsprint.
The head of Vin's dick pushes against my flesh, pressure increasing until my muscle opens and then snaps shut behind it. Far from feeling my defenses have been breached, it's like I've reached out to grab Vin and now I've got him where I want him. Not that he's trying to escape: each slow rhythmic thrust delves deeper inside me. When he teases us both with the threat of pulling out, I tense my muscles, wanting to hold on to him and make him really feel me. He gasps and makes one last lunge. I don't have time to touch myself before he groans and then shudders. My cock responds of its own accord, shooting parallel stripes across the paper.
He collapses onto my back and rests there for a while, maybe wanting the same closeness I often want myself. It's not until his softened dick falls from me that he settles back on his heels and cleans himself up.
I fold up the top couple of sheets of newspaper, then ask, 'You okay?' Just for a second, it seemed like I caught a glimpse of the man he keeps hidden inside the friend and colleague we usually see.
He looks at me, that uncanny sixth-sense kicking in, understands my question and weighs up how much he wants to say. 'Yeah. Sometimes I find myself wantin' what you had is all.' He immediately looks uneasy. 'Sorry, had no call sayin' that, 'specially not… right now.'
I rest a hand just above his knee. 'You got no idea how often I wish I still had it. Take it if you find it.'
He raises that eyebrow again. 'Inez?'
'Maybe.'
'Yeah. Ez thinks I should give it a go. I been… thinkin' on it. It's jus' that I don't wanna hurt her.' He pauses. 'It ain't that I can't give up this shit but, hell, I ain't much of a catch and this ain't much of a job.'
I try to smile but it doesn't really come off. 'That's crap about you, and you know it, but you'll get no argument from me about the job.'
We're both quiet for a minute or two, then that irrepressible smile's back. 'So, we on for tonight?'
I shrug. 'Sure. So what if I get arrested, shot or sued?'
'Can't promise you won't get arrested but Ezra won't shoot or sue. Y'might even get on his Christmas list.' He laughs. 'It'd be worth it - he buys some serious gifts.'
'Do we need to get some kit?'
'Went shoppin' when I thought 'bout askin' afore.' He takes me through to the bedroom and rummages through cupboards and drawers. Two pairs of 501s, two turtleneck pullovers and two pairs of lightweight sneakers, socks inside, all in black. The jeans are new but it looks like they've been washed a time or two, probably to make them easier to move in. I check the labels and see he's got my sizes right. 'Looked in your locker when you were showerin',' he explains.
It doesn't bother me but I ask, 'Nobody tell you when you were a kid that you shouldn't go through people's houses and lockers?'
With an exaggerated sigh, he says, 'All the fuckin' time.' He adds ski masks to the pile and then pulls a cardboard box out of a bottom drawer.
I sift through the chains and clamps. I haven't done this sort of thing before but I've seen most of the toys in mail order catalogs at one time or another. Only one thing is unfamiliar. I pick it up and untangle the links. It's like a dog's choke chain but it's got prongs on.
'Trainin' collar for dogs that're hard to handle,' Vin tells me, demonstrating how the prongs dig in when you tug on it. It looks horrific.
I put it on, settle it in place and pull tentatively on the end. The prongs squeeze pressure points all around my neck. When I pull harder, my eyes start to water. 'Christ, I don't know how someone could use that on an animal.'
'Dogs' necks're tougher than ours and they mostly got a lotta fur for protection but you still have t'be careful.' He nods his approval at my testing. 'Now you know what it feels like, don't get carried away.'
I nod. I'm not looking to kill Ezra. Mind you, there have been times…
Vin glances at the clock by the bed. 'Got a couple of hours yet. Wanna watch a movie?'
'Sure.'
We go back through to his living room and settle down for a guys' night in. He calls for pizza and cues up 'Executive Decision', which I haven't seen but gave the team a lot of amusement when it was released. There's not much they like better than Hollywood's idea of what Government agents do for a living.
'Chris.'
I come around slowly in response to Vin's voice and his hand on my shoulder. The credits are rolling on the film and I doubt I saw half of it. Judging from the debris on the floor, I didn't even make it through my pizza. The welcome aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafts into my nostrils just as Vin brings two big mugs through.
We sip in silence. I do a mental run-through of the tape we watched, making sure I know what I've got to do, then lead the way into the bedroom to change. We strip casually, not something that would bother me anytime but now totally natural for us. Vin throws his briefs on the bed and pulls the jeans on over his naked body.
'Easier later,' he replies to my unasked question.
I see why he pre-washed them - no man wants a bunch of hard seams chafing his balls. He settles the turtleneck in place. There's no denying it - he looks cool and real sexy. I want him again already. I can tell from how he's looking at me that he feels the same. I'm beginning to understand why Ezra likes this idea.
Vin packs all the stuff we need into a small black backpack and we're ready to go.
It's less than half an hour before we park a couple of streets from Ezra's place. I follow Vin through a park and into the shared gardens behind the crescent of townhouses. From behind a bank of mature shrubs, Vin points out the open window of Ezra's bedroom. The lights are out, although there's some faint lamplight on the floor below it. Maybe a hall light left on.
Black from head to toe, invisible even in the moonlight, we flit from shadow to shadow towards the rear entrance. I watch while Vin bypasses the alarm on the door and picks the three good quality locks that the manufacturers would like to think hold intruders up by more than the few minutes Vin spends on them. The alarm's on door-and-window mode; using movement sensors overnight just means you can't get a drink or take a leak without turning the system off.
The kitchen's in darkness but Vin leads the way to the stairs with the confidence of someone who knows every inch of the place. We're headed for the bedroom, where we expected to find Ezra at this hour, but dim lamplight in the living room catches Vin's eye. He steps through the doorway and I follow.
I've been here a couple of times and the place has always looked like a showhome. Now it's untidy, not the chaos that Buck and JD live in but not up to Ezra's standards that's for sure. A photograph album on the table is open at a page with snaps of him with Maude, taken when he was maybe in his early twenties. A framed picture is face-down beside it. When I silently turn it over, it shows Maude at the latest of her six weddings.
On the far side of the room, sprawled across a stylish gray leather sofa, is Ezra's sleeping form. He was presumably wearing the silk robe when he fell asleep but he's tossed and turned so that it's just twisted around his shoulders now. A half-empty bottle of whiskey on a side-table, drained glass beside it, tells the story of a wretched evening alone. I know plenty about those and feel an unfamiliar empathy for Ezra in his misery.
We both look at him for a moment, taking in the tousled hair and faintly troubled expression. I can't stop my eyes from moving on, savoring the well muscled torso and shapely limbs. Even in a drunken stupor, Ezra is still elegant. He reminds me of one of those old paintings of a mythical character, with his dick lying artistically along one thigh. He's got almost no body hair, just a smudge of rich auburn running from his navel to his dick. While I'm enjoying his beauty, I'm hoping he's not too far gone to play his part.
I don't know why it comes back to me now but I think of what Vin said about Inez earlier this evening. *Ez thinks I should give it a go.* I didn't know Ezra had it in him to be so selfless, to tell what must be just about the closest friend he's ever had that maybe he should be dating a woman instead of hanging around with him. My resolve to deliver his bizarre fantasy perfectly strengthens.
Vin slips back into the kitchen to shed the backpack and is at my side again in seconds. He takes position by Ezra's head while I wait by his feet. He stands poised over Ezra for a moment, getting his timing right before making his move. In a fraction of a second, Ezra's head is clamped firmly in the crook of Vin's elbow. I know from past experience how little you can do about that hold. You can only be grateful if he lets you breathe.
Ezra's eyes fly open. I was curious what we'd see in them. There's alarm but no fear. His hands shoot up to try to shift Vin's arm. I don't know what he can recognize in a forearm, or perhaps he catches the scent of Vin, but he immediately looks at me again, studies my eyes and then relaxes a fraction. He knows who we are… he knows it's a game.
Vin maintains the headlock with one arm and slips the other under Ezra's armpit. I grip his legs and we carry him through to the kitchen, the robe fluttering to the floor before we're halfway there. We spread him on the chic marble counter in the middle of the room, watching its coldness turn his skin to gooseflesh and his nipples into beads begging to be sucked. When he struggles, Vin yanks the hold tighter. When he accepts his lot, I search our backpack for the tools of our new trade.
I find the dog collar and move close beside Vin. It'd be hard to replace his arm with the collar if Ezra was really of a mind to escape but I don't expect him to try that hard. I fasten it around his neck and settle it as well as I can before Vin releases his grip. Just as he moves, I tug the chain. Only a few of the prongs make contact but it's enough to warn Ezra to keep still. I maintain my position, one hand on the chain and one on Ezra's shoulder, leaving Vin to administer the torture we witnessed on the video.
He pulls Ezra to the edge of the counter roughly, then forces his legs apart. He empties the backpack and starts by binding wrists to thighs with a pair of Velcro restraints. He looks lingeringly at Ezra, tenderness in those smoky blue eyes, and then runs his index finger over one nipple. He kneads the sensitive pink flesh between his finger and thumb, pulling it into a peak and then lightly digging his thumbnail into the tip. Ezra tenses in my grip and draws a sharp breath. His dick inflates under our gaze.
Vin smiles and pulls a length of fine chain from the pile of goodies. He clips one end to the ring in Ezra's dick and then looks at the utensil rack overhead. He threads the chain through it and then pulls it tighter, looking thoughtfully at the chain in my hand. He nods to me to clip it to the rack so I do, adjusting the length so that the prongs are just marking the flesh. Vin makes the same careful adjustments to his chain, leaving Ezra in only slight pain so long as he keeps still.
I look closer at his dick, seeing the elongated hole of the piercing. The clear fluid seeping through it says he likes the feeling. It's only when I dip my tongue into his slit that I realize I'm doing what I want to in our little games now, without looking to them for permission or instruction. I run my tongue around the steel ring and use its sensitive tip to explore where the metal punctures the flesh.
Vin empties a self-seal bag of little clasps. I experiment with one on my finger. It bites hard enough to grip but not enough to break the skin. He clips one onto the nipple he was playing with before. Ezra flinches and then gasps as his own movement stretches his dick. I lean over and take the other nipple in my mouth, first lapping at it and then sucking. The suck becomes a nibble and Ezra lets out a little sigh, making me bite him harder.
When I eventually release the bruised flesh, Vin applies another clip. Then he's ready to move on to the bit that made my eyes water in the video. He caresses Ezra's testicles fondly for a moment, exploring their fullness, and then running soothing fingertips over the hairless surface of his scrotum. He teases the supple skin into a ridge and then clips it in place. Ezra somehow manages to writhe without moving his neck or dick. One by one, Vin adds clips until the skin's stretched taut across the tender spheres now thrown into sharp relief.
A single tear runs from the corner of Ezra's right eye. I lick it off, sampling its saltiness.
My cock's rubbing against the rough denim of the 501s. It's time I lost them. I kick off the sneakers and peel off my socks, then drop the jeans and step out of them. Taking Vin's place between Ezra's legs, I reach for a rubber. Even while I'm rolling it on, I'm wondering how I can fuck him without moving him. Every thrust is going to hurt. I try one greased finger, testing how still I can keep him. The ring in his dick pulls and the collar tightens, forcing a tear from his other eye. He's still rock hard and his fixed stare invites me to carry on.
I haven't been inside Ezra yet and the idea's making me horny. He's such a classy guy and the fact that I wouldn't expect him to let me do this is making it all the more of a thrill. I hold his shoulders to brace him against my movement and then ram into him just like I saw the guy do on the tape. He was longer than me and a bit thicker too so I figure if he can do it without causing permanent damage then I should be all right. Ezra bites his lower lip and more droplets ooze from his slit. His whole body's covered in a sheen of perspiration.
Vin holds my gaze while he slowly unbuttons his fly, knowing exactly what he's doing to me. Once he's naked from the waist down, he hops up onto the counter and kneels over Ezra, rubbing the tip of his dick over Ezra's lips. Ezra licks it and then draws a few inches into his mouth. Vin leans against the chain from the collar, intensifying the pain to Ezra's neck. That elicits a muffled moan from around the pillar of flesh.
Something in the sound, and the strength of sensation it represents, electrifies me and I push harder, straining the pierce. I reach for the nipple clamps and pull them, stretching the skin until I'm afraid it'll tear. The pain must be something else because Ezra's whole body contorts, his sphincter clamping hard on my cock. I swallow, trying to pull back from the brink and buy more time but it's no good. My balls burst like a dam and I would send spunk across the room if my cock was standing free. My legs go weak and I have to steady myself to keep from falling down. A trickle of sweat runs down the side of my face underneath the mask.
Vin springs lightly back onto the floor and stands behind me, his dick nuzzling between my thighs and his lips brushing my shoulder. When I pull out of Ezra, he takes over seamlessly, steering me behind him and guiding my hands onto his hips. He's more confident than I was, making Ezra rock between the two chains. I share in the experience as Vin pushes Ezra to the end of his endurance, twisting the clamps on his scrotum even as he grinds deep into his ass.
Ezra's eyes glaze over as consciousness fades, leaving him only half-aware. Tears track past his temples and pre-cum flows in a constant stream from his extended dick. The sweat has beaded into droplets now, rolling off his skin and onto the counter.
Vin's body is like steel in my grip, every muscle coiled, but then he suddenly seems to unravel as the life pumps out of him. He waits when he's done, buried to the hilt, and I rest my chin on his shoulder. It's only seconds before Ezra comes and, when he does, it's like on the film. His spew dribbles weakly over the head of his dick and down the side of his shaft, as if that's the best his battered balls can manage. One glance at his drained expression tells me that he's overwhelmed, taken literally to the edge just like I was in the pool.
We step back and pull off our masks. Then, once we've wiped ourselves down, we take the stuff off Ezra and wash him. There's a jar of salve in Vin's kit and we rub it into the bruises and abrasions we've inflicted, caressing his exhausted body as lovingly as if he were a woman.
When our hands overlap, I feel no need to pull away and, instead, relish the closest human contact I've had for far too long. I have sex with girls who mean nothing to me and want nothing from me. I play the gentlemen with women like Mary because I know I can't give them what they deserve. It's never even occurred to me that I could have something completely different with friends like these.
We're done by the time Ezra comes around fully. He sits on the edge of the counter for a while and then lets Vin help him down. The two of them embrace, a warm hug like the oldest of friends or even family. Ezra's still naked and we're only wearing the turtlenecks but they don't seem to notice their dicks touching. When they separate, Ezra steps towards me and I see he's unsure whether to offer his hand or hug me too. I close the distance and embrace him just like Vin did, free of all the baggage I'd once've had about doing that.
He speaks into my ear. 'Thank you, Chris. My apologies for being of little value to the team this week.'
'Forget it. We all have bad weeks.'
'Well, thankfully, this one appears to have taken a distinct turn for the better. Coffee, gentlemen?'
We nod and go through to the living room. It's not until I'm sitting on the sofa that I realize I still haven't put my pants back on. I'll have to watch this new me in company.
Full Circle
It hasn't been one of the best days of my life. Vin took me for a beer at lunchtime to tell me Inez had asked him out. She'd got tickets for the ballet, of all things, so he and Ezra were making up a four with her and a friend tonight. I don't think ballet is Vin's thing any more than it is mine but Ezra enjoys most types of art so I guess she thought it gave her an opening. The Colorado Ballet has got some big star soloist on loan from the Bolshoi and, from what I saw in the papers, the tickets were like gold-dust.
I wasn't sure why Vin told me about it. I mean, there's nothing between us and he was up-front about what he wants. I appreciated it but it was hard to hear. I don't see Inez being happy with what we've been doing and I know he won't lie to her so it'll have to stop. I wouldn't have done it when I was with Sarah and I don't expect him to be any different. I saw how much he's hoping this'll work out and give him the family he's never had but, as well as that, I saw a sadness that made me wonder if maybe I wasn't the only one feeling something here.
Sarah used to get wild with me sometimes for being selfish, not with her but with other people. She was always so generous and caring that anything less must have seemed that way. I think she'd have been proud of me today because I've done nothing but think about what's best for Vin. My reward is to lie alone and awake at one-thirty in the morning, feeling so empty I wish I'd never had a glimpse of how things might have been.
I toss and turn for another thirty minutes, through another striking of the old clock in the den, until a vehicle pulls up outside. I can't imagine who's come out here at this hour. If it was work, they'd call first. I go to the window and look through a gap in the drapes. A cab's sitting under the security light, engine running. Both rear doors open at the same time and two figures almost fall out. Vin and Ezra. There's no mistaking that pair of reprobates.
Ezra's trying to pay the driver off but he has trouble getting his wallet out and then drops it. I've already guessed he's smashed when Vin weaves his way over to the barn. There's no way he'd be walking the line tonight. He's fumbling with his jeans, ready to take a leak on the fresh paintwork that Andy's only just finished.
I didn't expect to see them tonight and I don't know what to make of it. Surely they haven't come to tell me how it went? I'm not so generous and caring I can listen to what a good time Vin had with his new lady. Maybe one day but not right now. I pull on a pair of jeans and head down to see what the hell they want.
Although it's a warm night, the freshening breeze raises goose bumps on my skin as I open the door. The cab takes off as I step out so it looks like I'm stuck with them for now.
'Mr Larabee!' Ezra's greeting is loud and enthusiastic. We don't often see him drunk but he's apt to get over-friendly when the alcohol dissolves his usual reserve. 'How are you this fine evening?'
Crap, I think. 'Sober,' I say. 'Which is more than I can say for you.'
Vin turns to speak to me, prematurely as it turns out. I'm glad he's not too close when he sprays an arc of piss into the breeze. He looks as cheerful as Ezra so I guess it went okay but I can't understand why they're so tanked up if it did. Or why they're here either.
'Coffee?' They look like they could use it and it's the only thing I can think of to say.
'That'sh very civil of you,' Ezra slurs.
'That'sh Chris for you,' Vin slurs back. '*Very* civil.'
We stand in the kitchen, watching the aromatic fluid drip through the filter, me feeling uncomfortable and them looking like cats that got the cream. Vin's self-satisfaction is short-lived though, then he frowns and turns to throw up in the sink. He wipes his mouth on one of my clean towels, looks at me, then back at it. 'Sorry.'
I shrug, pour the coffee and then wait to hear what they want. Ezra's still in evening dress but Vin must have changed back soon as he got a chance because he's in jeans, same as always… unless he wore them to the ballet but I don't see Ezra standing for that. The seconds tick slowly past but they don't seem to feel the need for any explanation. Ezra sips delicately from his mug, while Vin's absorbed in watching a spider run along the counter.
'How was the ballet?' I can hear the impatience in my voice. Even Sarah would be struggling tonight.
'Exshellent,' Ezra informs me. 'As was dinner.'
'French,' Vin adds.
'Dinner, that is,' Ezra clarifies.
'How was Inez?'
'Vivay-shus as always.' Ezra again. He struggles more to speak when he's wasted than Vin, probably because he still tries for the big words.
'You gotta laugh,' Vin tells me, with a smile.
'I have?' The impatience is getting the better of me now.
'She thinks we're…' he gestures to himself and Ezra with a wink, '….gay.'
It seems to have escaped his notice that, by most people's standards, they're at least halfway there but I leave that for now. So, thinking they're a couple, Inez invited them out with a friend of hers. The fog clears.
'So her friend…?'
Vin nods solemnly. 'Dyke. Nice though. The foolin' around… with us…' he points to himself again, 'her and me… was jus' 'tween friends. Bit of a cover, truth be told. She thinks it was the same f'me.'
That's some blow for a man when he's finally decided to try for some roots. It's a shock to me because of her religion, although of course there are plenty of gays and lesbians with faith. I've got no views either way, given that you could write what I know about religion on a stamp, but I always figured Inez was pretty devout.
I study Vin closely, which is easy to do because he's back to watching the spider. He doesn't seem troubled by his loss. 'You okay?' I ask him.
He tears himself away from the spider and looks puzzled. 'Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?'
Ezra leans heavily on his shoulder. 'He means you hoped you had found the future Mrs Tanner. You might be dis… distr… upset.'
'Naw. It ain't like I lost her. I never had her. Caught me by surprise is all. That's why Ez took me for a beer.'
More than one beer by the look of him. I wonder how it ended with Inez. 'What did you tell her?'
Vin laughs, then belches into his hand. 'Nothin' much. Didn't wanna make a fool o' myself. 'Sides, it mighta made her feel bad if she thought she'd hurt me. Said I wasn't with Ez, left it at that.'
Christ, he's just like Sarah, always worrying how someone else feels.
He smiles again. 'I jus' wanted y'all t'know how it went. Kinda got the idea maybe it mattered.' He tries to stand without the support of the counter. 'We can git back into town now if y'like.'
He could have phoned to tell me that. I shake my head silently. I don't know what I'm going to do with them but I don't want them to leave.
The smile broadens. I can't resist him, even in this state, and he knows it.
'C'mon.'
He beckons to me, then turns to lead the way outside. Ezra falls in behind him so I follow the two of them to the barn, still barefoot in just my jeans. They're leaning on each other, Ezra's arm around Vin's shoulder. I won't be surprised if they start singing next. That'd be a first for Vin, although I've heard Ezra's mellow tenor on a night out before. We give him grief because he always sings slushy love songs when he's drunk but I'd have to admit he makes a good job of them. Now I've seen him with Rob, I know where the feeling he puts into his singing comes from.
God knows why they want me out in the barn. You know how you sometimes read in magazines where men want their wives to be more adventurous, like wearing stockings instead of pantyhose or some shit like that? I can see how a man might dream of normal sex in a comfortable bed if he hung around with these two for long.
Not that I'm complaining. I haven't been so desperate for it since the first year or so with Sarah - and that's a long time ago, in years and mileage. A man my age doesn't expect to be hankering after it like a teenager. The thrill when I'm with them is so intense that I get ace hand jobs for the next week thinking on it. As a matter of fact, I've come a couple of times lathering up in the shower just thinking on it, without the hand job.
Vin flips on the lights. The barn's immaculate. The horses are turned out at night now so Andy's been spring cleaning. All the tack's cleaned and polished, the whole place swept out from top to bottom, and he put fresh straw down yesterday. I pay him well for hired help but he still gets nothing near what most people I know make. When I see the backbreaking work he puts in compared with what some of them do, I feel lousy about it. Still, he likes the job and I always do right by him at Christmas and holidays so maybe it's not such a bad life.
Anyhow, you can bet I'll be scrubbing up any mess we make long before Andy sees it. I've seen dried cum around holes in the doors of public lavatories and there's no way you'd mistake it for anything but what it is. It's not something I'd be keen to explain on the walls in here, given that I haven't kept a stallion in years. Even when we were breeding, we went out for stud. That's a joke anyhow, Larabee. No one would mistake your efforts for a stallion's - Rob's maybe but not yours.
Vin's heading purposefully into the tack room but Ezra turns back and stops me with the palm of his hand on my chest. He's kidding himself if he thinks he can make me do anything, the state he's in, but I go along with it. He looks around, then pushes me into one of the box stalls. They're the old-fashioned kind, wooden panels with a gap at the bottom and railings at the top. It should be more companionable for the horses but they're an ornery bunch and mostly just take the chance to bite each other through the railings.
When Vin reappears, he seems to have the entire contents of the tack room draped over his arms and shoulders. My heart misses a beat when I make out what it is. Sarah's old driving tack. She used to do a bit of buggy racing and I've still got all her gear. Andy takes care of it like I'm going to use it again one day but I won't. Like so many things round here: I can't stand to look at it but I can't stand to get rid of it either.
I feel a rush of anger at Vin touching it, let alone bringing it through here for his tacky sex games. Neither of them seem to notice. Vin would normally pick up on my mood in an instant but then who's at their most sensitive when they've drunk enough to be throwing up in their boss's kitchen?
*It's only stuff, honey.*
Shit. I hate it when I hear her like that when I'm not expecting it. The first year or two after she died, I heard her all the time, telling me to get off my butt and stop feeling sorry for myself. I know she'd have understood how I felt about Adam but she'd have hated to see me eaten up by losing her. She'd want me to have moved on by now, whatever direction I took. And it *is* only stuff. A few bits of leather aren't Sarah, any more than the household linens that have worn out and been thrown in the garbage since she went.
I'm on a roller-coaster tonight: dejected then impatient, relieved then angry. I let it flow away and try to match Vin and Ezra in their carefree mood. I want to feel good with them again and there's nothing wrong with that. No reason to be digging up the past, just when the present might be going somewhere at last.
Vin's hooked the long lines over the door and now he's pulling a bunch of shorter straps out of his pocket. Looks like they're a mixture of breast girths and stirrup leathers. Andy dismantles the saddles and bridles for cleaning and lines them all up on his bench in order so he knows how they go back together. He's a bit anal about it and he'll be in a snit for a week if I can't sort them out tomorrow.
Ezra grabs my elbows and pulls me back against him, pinning me tight. I could throw him off but I don't bother. Vin stands in front of me for a few seconds. I only yanked up the zipper on my jeans when I got dressed and I can see the gaping waistband's distracting him now. You don't think much about how you look yourself but I know it'd be distracting me if he was standing here with his zipper halfway down and the line of his pubic hair inviting me in.
He comes to himself with a start, grips my waistband and pulls my fly open. He catches the jeans a bit crooked when he tugs, giving my cock a shock, but then they fall to the ground easy enough. Ezra forces me to one side so I step out of them and Vin kicks them away. He kneels to buckle the straps around my wrists and ankles. It takes him three times as long as it should, breathing heavily as he gets in close to line up the holes.
Taking one of the long lines, he passes it through the railings and under the bottom of the panels. I watch as he battles to set up his little scheme. He should definitely have tried this on a night when he could control his fingers. It must be more than five minutes before he has the lines in place, passed through my bonds, and starts taking up the slack.
Ezra runs a teasing finger down my spine, making my skin break into gooseflesh again. The finger stops at the base of my spine, circles the hollow of my back, and then traces the same path back up to the nape of my neck. I shudder and try to rotate my captive shoulder blades to shake off the lingering tickle it leaves in its wake.
Vin tightens the lines, pulling me into an X. As the leathers pull my limbs apart, the apprehension sets in. The confidence I've felt in these two up to now has amazed me. They've both got near perfect judgement and reactions so I've never doubted my safety for a moment. Now, though, their faculties are seriously impaired and it'd be all too easy for an accident to happen. I should tell them to stop, and I think they would if I did, but I don't. It's stupid but I decide to go through with it.
Ezra's been fiddling in the doorway but now he steps behind me again and reaches over my head. Cold metal slides into my mouth and it's a second before I realize it's a bit. Thank Christ it's only a plain curb so there's nothing to cut or pinch. I've never liked putting horses in harsh bits and I'm glad of it now. At least it's clean. The metal pulls at the edges of my mouth when he knots the reins behind my head. It's weird but not unpleasant. Of course, it does mean that I won't be telling them to stop now. It slowly sinks in that I'm not going to be doing much of anything at all. I can't move and I can't speak. From here on in, I'm in their hands.
Vin rummages in another pocket and pulls out something black. When he shakes it out, I see it's a hood. We've got a couple of horses that don't like going in a trailer but they settle down if they can't see where they're going. Vin drops it over my head, plunging me into blackness. Now I can't even see. As the helplessness seeps through me, I wonder if I can stand it. I'm not afraid of the prospect of an accident, real as that is, but I've never let someone take control of me like this.
A memory flickers out of reach, then comes into focus: Sarah frowning at me. When I used to go off half-cocked about something, she'd never say anything out loud but I'd see that little frown from the corner of my eye and then start looking for a way to pull out without losing face. She never nagged in her life, never had to, but she had a knack of letting me know when I was in the wrong and then leaving me to get out of it my own way - and I was grateful for it. I've always had a temper and it was a hell of a lot worse when I was younger. She saved me from myself more times than I care to remember, which is probably why Buck tried to take on that job after I lost her.
This is sort of different but the same. Sarah controlled me in her way so why should I worry about letting my friends control me in another? It's not as if I doubt I'll be enjoying whatever they do. Reassured, I listen to them over at the doorway, pulling at the rest of the lines, and wonder what they're planning. They come back, drop down in the straw by my feet and, taking a leg apiece, start winding the driving reins around me. Each turn of leather settles neatly by the last, as they work their way up my shins.
So that's tonight's plan. They're going to bind me from head to foot, until I'm encased in a leather cocoon. I've no idea why or what it'll feel like but I'll play along. I've waited too long to object anyhow. I could easily have shaken Ezra off before but the restraints on me now are real. I could fight all night and not get free.
My skin slowly loses contact with the outside world. The circulation's not cut off but there's still a loss of feeling. As my legs are engulfed, I become sensitized to the straw pricking the soles of my feet. Reaching the ends of the first lines, Vin and Ezra fumble with buckles to connect the next and then start winding again, pinching the soft flesh of my inner thighs between the coils of leather. It's the weirdest feeling, tight and restrictive but at the same time snug and secure.
When they reach my hips, they leave my ass cheeks exposed at the back and my dong and gongs at the front. All of a sudden, I feel dumb, wondering what I must look like. My face burns in a blush but I've left it way too late to start getting modest now.
They interlace their lines to build up a shell over my torso. It must have been a bit like this wearing a suit of armor, except I'd have a nice codpiece over my assets instead of leaving them out for all to see. They don't stop until I'm completely covered, my neck right up to my chin and my arms right down to my wrists. The bonds around my neck go over the bottom of the hood, sealing me in. The fabric's not air-tight so I won't suffocate but it takes a conscious effort on my part to convince my mind of that. I stifle the instinct to panic just like I would in a tight corner on the job.
My body temperature starts to rise, with no way for the heat to escape. The air in the barn is cool and little drafts play on my hands and feet, butt and balls. The rest of me starts to swelter. Now they've sealed me in, I hear them shedding their clothes. I envy them their nakedness in the cool of the night.
I'm not sure I like this feeling. It's uncomfortable, bordering on painful where the leather cuts into the tender skin around my neck, armpits and groin. Drool runs from the corners of my mouth and the bit stops me moving my lips or tongue to catch it. Worst of all is the hood, with its stink of horse sweat and spittle, stale oats and bran. I've spent half my life around those smells but they're overpowering now, concentrated in here. It beats me why it calms a nervous horse to blind it. Not knowing what's coming next makes me real edgy.
What does come next is smooth metal tracing patterns on my butt. As it turns at the end of a loop, soft flesh touches mine. Even if I hadn't felt his cock-ring, Ezra's touch is unmistakable, not as smooth as usual but just as tender. I shiver as his pre-cum dries on the surface of my ass, heightening the contrast between the coolness there and the sweat pouring off the rest of my body until there's maybe ten degrees difference.
Chilly air flows over my cock as Vin blows on it. I can picture his pursed lips as clearly as if I was looking at him, the strong line of his jaw and the light brown covering of stubble. As it happens, he's clean shaven tonight but he mostly has a day or two's growth and that's how I always think of him. Every once in a while, I get told my men need to smarten up, and it's mostly Vin's hair and stubble the brass are talking about, but I say they need to blend in and to measure them by the results.
My cock was hanging well down, not sure whether we were enjoying this or not. Now it makes up its mind and jumps by thirty degrees when all my blood races towards Vin. As the skin all over my body gets more numb, only my cock seems alive. It's like I'm husk hanging in a tree with only the one ripe fruit waiting to be plucked. Then, just as I'm starting to like it, the blowing stops and a sound erupts from in front of me. If I didn't know Vin like I do, I'd swear it was a giggle.
'Shit, Ez. I got him right where I want him and I can't fuckin' get it up.' The sound comes again and it's definitely a giggle. 'I told you that last bottle o' wine was a mistake.'
'Indeed you did although, as I recall, only after we had already con… cons… drunk it.' Ezra drops heavily to his knees in the straw. 'Perhaps I may be able to a… ass… help.'
It seems like mine's the only fruit ready for picking. In the darkness, my senses focus on the sound of Ezra's mouth on Vin's dick. His speech has already told me he's having trouble controlling his tongue and lips. The slurping sounds I'm hearing confirm that his coordination's well off.
After a minute or two, he sighs. 'I regret that I may have to pronounce the patient dead.'
It doesn't look like I'll be getting fucked tonight. I'll be lucky if they don't doze off and leave me here. I was a damned fool to let them tie me up, the state they're in. I'm not sure I can stand hanging here all night, most of my weight on my wrists. I sure won't be in good shape by the morning. At least it's Saturday tomorrow so Andy won't be in. The idea of him opening up to find me bound and gagged, with a bag over my head, sends a little thrill of excitement through me but it goes as fast as it came.
I think I'd rather keep that kind of discovery firmly in the fantasy department. I'm hardly a celebrity but Andy could probably sell pictures of a senior federal agent in a compromising position to some sensationalist rag for more than he makes in a year. He wouldn't but I couldn't blame him if he did. Fact is, he'd be shocked as hell. I've realized since I started this stuff that you mostly don't know folk as well as you think you do but Andy blushes watching a stallion service a mare so I think I'm on pretty safe ground when I say he'd be shocked.
Ezra's given up his resuscitation efforts but I can't make out what he's doing now. It's not long before I have my answer. He's back behind me, kneading my ass with those smooth, manicured hands. Using my shoulder for support, he steps back and I hear the swish of a whip just before it hits my butt. It's only a short crop and doesn't land hard, just enough to sting. He swings it again, catching me just above the last stripe. It brings the blood to the surface of my skin, intensifying the sensation in one of the only exposed parts of my body.
All my attention settles on each point of impact as his strokes form a regular pattern. The discomfort of the leather on my body and the metal in my mouth fade in the shadow of the steady beating. Now the experience is getting real intense. I forget the stifling bag over my head as my whole being is channeled downwards. It's as though all the extraneous parts of my body have been surgically removed and my sexual self is all that's left.
I'm wondering if I'll ever be the same again when I feel Vin looping something around my scrotum. It must be a pouch because a second later I hear him drop coins into it. Their weight tugs on the tender skin and the cord puts pressure on the top of my testicles. I hear the jingle of loose change and guess he's rummaging through the pockets of their clothes. More coins slide into the pouch but the tension stays just on the right side of pain.
Vin steadies himself against my leg and then the tip of his tongue pokes into my slit while he lifts and then releases the weight. The pull of the pouch alternates with the sting of the whip, bombarding me with sensations. Somewhere deep inside me, fear stirs at the fragility of the connection between me and my balls. My mind throws in a vivid image of bound lambs' tails dropping off in the Springtime but the anxiety abates each time I feel Vin's hand cup the pouch.
Clumsy as their movements are, leaning on me to stay on their feet half the time, I'm still responding. How can I not when they've deprived me of all other stimuli and now play with the most sensitive parts of my body?
I could come in Vin's mouth in no time but I want him hard too. Just as I'm wondering how I can get him going when I can't control anything that's happening, Ezra tosses the whip to one side. It rattles down the partition. There's a moment's pause while he finds some protection and then I feel his dick against my ring. It was limp when he stroked me with it before but it's not any more. He plunges into me, giving me a moment's pain but then exhilaration at his aggression.
Now I know what I can do for Vin, the only thing left to me. If there's one way to get him going, it'll be his particular thing, taking us full circle to where we started this whole affair, except this time I'm sober even if they're not. I press myself back against Ezra, pulling my hips an inch or two further from Vin's face, not wanting to choke him when he's not ready. I let a few drops go to warn him and immediately feel the soft cushion of his bottom lip under my cock, waiting. I almost laugh as I realize that I've managed to take over, even though they've only left me my bladder to do it with. Vin couldn't say no to this if he wanted to.
I'm not even conscious of relaxing my muscles. I just let Ezra push the piss out of me and into Vin. It comes in spurts instead of a regular flow. I feel it swirl back from his mouth and run over his face. I wish I could see what I'm doing but I hope it's getting him there. The whole world seems to disappear as I hang in space, feeling only Ezra's thrusting, my pumping and the tiny contact with Vin's lip. The tension connecting us is palpable, so real it feels like I could grab hold of the bonds between us. It builds and tightens, linking us as though we'll never be separate beings again. The rush becomes so fierce that I need it to end. There's no pain but the need to for it to be over is just the same as if there was. The hood fills with pinpricks of light as release approaches.
Ezra's dick swells and then kicks when he rams it home.
The last of my pee dribbles onto Vin and then turns to cum as I explode without a touch from him.
He falls forward against me, clutching my thigh, and I know his hand brought him with us.
'Sh-i-i-t.'
Vin says it for us all. I let out the breath that's been trapped in my chest. I don't reckon life gets too much better than that. Then my mind goes as blank as my vision.
My eyes flicker open. For a moment, I think I'm still wearing the hood but I'm not. I can make out the silhouettes of railings against the night sky in the window. All my bonds are gone, the only legacy of my experience some chafing from the bit and bonds, and a stinging in my ass cheeks. I'm stretched out on the straw, coarse horse blankets under and over me, with a snoring form on either side. It looks like they took good care of me but fell asleep before I came round.
I shift onto my side, tensing and relaxing my arms and legs to get the feeling back into them. My hands and feet tingle as life returns. When the tingling turns to burning, I grit my teeth and wait for it to pass. It's worse than recovering from the worst case of pins and needles you ever had. Waves of signals flood into my brain from confused nerve endings all over my body and I can't stop myself from gasping at the overload.
On my right, Vin rolls over to face me. 'Y'okay?' Slurred and only half awake but still thinking of me.
'Not sure,' I tell him grimly. 'Still waiting for news from half my body.'
'Fuckin' intense, huh?'
There's a smile in his sleepy voice. He props himself up on one elbow and runs a hand fondly through my hair. The contact makes me tense up, sending more protests from my over-stimulated body. He's never touched me like that before.
He shuffles nearer so that we're only an inch or two apart, facing each other on our sides, then touches his lips to mine. I don't dare move, afraid that any response from me will make him realize what he's doing. If he realizes, he might stop. Instead, he pushes me onto my back and slides half over me, his weight down my right side, and begins to kiss my face while his right hand runs over my chest and stomach. His lips wander over my chin and cheeks. He doesn't touch my groin, simply tracing the lines of my muscles and stroking my body hair.
The difference between this and fucking opens like a chasm in front of me. Up to now, it's just been sex. It was only when I saw Ezra with Rob that I fully understood how sharp the line between sex and love can be. If I make love to Vin now, I'll have crossed that line forever. Something I always thought I knew about myself will have changed. There's brief trepidation at the thought but then I know I'm ready for it. The past few months have been getting me ready and now it's just a small step.
I've been lying still, not rejecting Vin's touch but not responding to it much either. Unperturbed, he gets more insistent, moving closer and pressing his mouth over my lips. He pushes his tongue roughly between them and I can't resist the urge to admit him. He starts chewing on me like a teenager on a first date, sucking my tongue into his mouth and rubbing his hands all over me, clumsy with the drink but fantastic all the same. Still I don't take an active role, unable to believe this is happening and uncertain whether to let it.
I can't ignore the nagging voice at the back of my mind, taking the edge off what I've been wanting for weeks. You'd think after what we've done to each other that this is nothing but it's not. There's no way I can be what Vin's looking for and I don't want him to wake up tomorrow and wish this hadn't happened.
I hold him away from me.
'You sure about this, Vin? I can't give you a family.'
He chuckles. 'Be a first if you could, Larabee.'
I shake him. 'You're wasted and you had a lousy night with Inez. It's not the right time to be making decisions.'
I can feel his uncertainty, as he pulls back and tries to clear his head. 'You don't… want me?'
God but I can't stand to hurt him, even for a second. My voice is softer when I tell him, 'Yeah, I've wanted you for weeks. I'm asking if you know what you want.'
He drops heavily onto me, his face against my neck. 'Yeah. When I saw how it was with Inez, I didn't feel how I shoulda if I'da really wanted her. When I told her I wasn't with Ez, I knew who I wanted to be with. Kinda fell into place. I didn't figure you'd be int'rested but Ez said you would, said we should come out here.'
So, I have Ezra to thank for seeing how things are with me. Any other time it'd be Vin reading my mind but it looks like things have been as confused for him as me lately. He's gone all limp on me now, and I don't just mean his dick. He's not the kind of man that opens up easily, any more than I am, and I've knocked him out of his stride.
Afraid to trust my ears, I check again. 'You're sure?'
He burrows deeper against me. 'Yup.'
This time it's me who does the kissing, planting my lips on his with a good deal more accuracy than he's been managing. I can taste piss and cum all over him but I don't care. I feel the strangeness of another man's rough skin under my lips, the first traces of beard growth scratching against my own, but what surprises me isn't that one difference but how everything else is much the same. The thrill of offering a kiss. The joy of having it returned. The intimacy of a connection that transcends sex.
Vin presses himself close in response, his weight spread evenly over me and his hair falling forward to screen our faces. His dick swells between my legs.
Ezra stirs beside me, spitting straw out of his mouth. 'I can find a more comfortable bed, if you gentlemen would prefer privacy.'
Vin shifts his weight onto his left hand and reaches over to feel Ezra with the right.
'Aw, quit bitchin' and do somethin' useful with that.'
In the darkness, I hear crackling as Ezra struggles with wrappers. Waiting for him to kit them out, I feel a deep trust in the kind of men who can do what they did tonight, take care of me afterwards, and worry about rubbers, all when they're too slugged even to stand up. I knew my team was solid but they still surprise me.
Strange to say it but I don't feel horny now. Even so, I still want Vin inside me. His lips rest softly on mine as he slides into me, making love to me for the first time. He's not having any trouble getting hard this time and he swells another size when Ezra pushes into him. I may have only discovered it recently but there's not much to compare with giving and taking at the same time.
I can't see Vin's face but, if I could, I know exactly how he'd look. He's in heaven right now and he's taking me with him. It doesn't bother me Ezra being with us. It would have if we'd come at this from any normal angle but now I understand exactly how things are between them, between Ezra and Rob and between Vin and me. We all get we want and no one gets hurt. Too good to be true but there you are.
This is nothing like what we just did. I feel peace and tranquility, not the driving need I had then. The love surges through me as Vin tenses in his climax and then it seems to flow out of my body in the few spots of cum I smear on his stomach. I hear Ezra pat Vin's back gently and then roll off onto the straw. Vin snuggles down beside me.
Their even breathing soon tells me they're asleep, Ezra on one side facing away from me with his butt pressed against my hip and Vin on the other with his head tucked tight into my shoulder. I smooth his hair back and kiss his forehead, just how I used to kiss Sarah. I didn't deserve to find something that good once and I can't believe I've found it again. It's going to be a rougher ride this time, and there's no way in hell we're ever going to be open about how some things are, but I know I want to be with him and I'm not going to hide that away - whatever it costs.