Kung Fu Fighting by Lisa S.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thank you to Sue for all her help and for betaing. Also a special thanks to Sarah for creating this wonderful AU for us to play in. Lyrics are from the Carl Douglas song "Kung Fu Fighting".

DISCLAIMER: Mag7/Las Vegas alternate universe was created by Sarah (aka Midnight Profit) and is based on the “Las Vegas” TV series. This AU is not related to the Mag7/Las Vegas RPG created by Lisa O. and Ruby. Trilogy, MGM, and the Mirisch Corporation own “The Magnificent Seven” characters. NBC Studios, NBC Universal Television, DreamWorks Television, and Gary Scott Thompson Productions own “Las Vegas.” They are not mine. The only purpose of this story is for entertainment. No money is being made.


"What the hell is that? A rat?" asked Buck Wilmington as he picked up the stuffed animal that was sitting on JD Dunne's desk. The Hospitality Host was on a break and decided to check in with his 'little brother' who worked in the security office.

JD looked up from the computer screen and explained, "It's a hamster, Buck . . ."

"Are you sure? Cause it looks like a rat," replied Buck as he narrowed his eyes and looked at the so-called 'hamster' that was dressed in a white karate outfit.

"I'm sure . . . it's a hamster," replied JD as he grabbed the stuffed animal from Buck's hands and put it back on his desk.

"Where did you get it?" asked Buck who was curious about the strange stuffed animal.

"It was a gift . . . from a friend," replied JD nonchalantly. Actually it had been a gift from Casey after they had watched a kung fu movie marathon.

"From a friend? Are you sure this person actually likes you?" asked Buck who couldn't for the life of him understand why someone would give a person a stuffed rat . . . 'hamster' as a gift.

"Yea, they do," replied JD who was starting to get tired of the endless questions.

"Hmm . . ." replied Buck who had a feeling the 'friend' was Casey because it sure as heck wouldn't have been any of the guys at work. "So, what happens when you press the hand?" asked Buck who had a noticed a little 'press here' sticker on its right paw.

"Don't press the button, don't press the button," mumbled Vin over and over. He was seated at the desk next to JD's and couldn't help overhearing their conversation and one thing was for certain he didn't think he could listen to that dang singing hamster one more time.

Unfortunately Buck did press the button. Music began to play as the hamster's arms started to move. . .
Everybody was kung fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing

Vin quickly stood as he grabbed his suit jacket. "I'm gonna go do a security sweep," he said, wanting to get as far away as possible from that singing rodent.

"Sure thing," said JD.

Meanwhile at the same time, Security Chief Chris Larabee had emerged from his office, coffee cup in hand, in hopes of getting a refill of caffeine. When he heard the all-to-familiar music he froze and did an abrupt turn, heading back into his office and closing the door firmly behind him, deciding coffee could wait at least until after the song was over.

'Well, it definitely clears out a room,' thought Buck who had noticed how the two men quickly left the area. Finding himself at a loss for words and not wanting to hurt the young man's feelings, Buck finally said, "Nice . . ."

"Thanks," said JD.

"Well, I should be going," said Buck as the music finally ended. "I've got a couple of things to tend to . . . I'm helping Security out since I have no whales in at the moment."

It was a couple of hours later and JD was on his security sweep. Chris, Vin, and Buck had just finished a meeting and were exiting Chris' office when the kung fu hamster began to play. The three men froze as they gazed at the dancing stuffed animal sitting on JD's desk.

Everybody was kung fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing

"I swear the thing is possessed," whispered Vin. "It just comes on automatically now. . ."

"Have you noticed the eyes on that thing sort of follow you wherever you go?" chimed Chris.

"It's damn spooky, that's what it is," remarked Buck.

"You know I have an idea," said Vin.

An hour later JD returned from his rounds on the main level, plopped himself down into his chair, and typed his password into the computer keyboard.

Turning away for a brief moment to reach for his drink was when he noticed it. His dancing hamster was gone.

"What the. . ." said JD as he began searching in his desk drawers. "Where did it go?" he mumbled.

"Looking for something?" asked Vin innocently.

"My hamster," replied JD. "It was right here on my desk when I left to do the security sweep and now it's gone."

"Hmmm, that's weird," said Vin. "Wonder what happened to it?" He was starting to feel guilty about hiding the hamster but it was either do that or listen to that dang song again and that was just something he couldn't do.

JD continued looking around his area and Vin added, "I wouldn't worry about it . . . I'm sure it will turn up . . ."

Later in the break room, Chris, Buck and Vin were making themselves some coffee.

Buck glanced around the corner, taking a peak at JD who was hard at work at his desk. "Poor kid, he's still looking for that damn rat . . . er . . . hamster. . ." he said in a low voice, not wanting JD to hear their conversation.

Vin winked and said, "Don't worry . . . it's hidden in my locker . . . I'll give it back to him at the end of the shift . . . just couldn't take hearing that damn song again. . ."

After taking a sip of his coffee, Chris said, "Fellas, do you have a few minutes? I just got the list of upcoming conventions and I'd like to run it by you."

Both men nodded in agreement and the three headed in the direction of Chris' office. As the men stepped in, they immediately heard a familiar song. . .

Everybody was kung fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing




Could be heard as the three men jumped in surprise.

"How in the hell did it get in here?" asked Chris as the three men approached the singing hamster cautiously.

"Don't know," replied Vin, a puzzled expression on his face. "Could have sworn it was in my locker. . ."

"I don't care . . . it nearly gave me a heart attack," replied Buck as he held his chest with one hand. "And I spilled my coffee. . . "

It was at this time JD came running into the office having heard the familiar tune. "There it is," he said, happy to see his hamster again. He frowned at his friends. "You know if you wanted to borrow it, you only had to ask." Now with a smile tugging at his lips, he turned and headed back to his desk, hamster in hand.

Pit Boss Ezra Standish was working in the casino monitoring a blackjack table when his phone beeped to signal an incoming text message. Flipping it open, he read the message.

Thanks for your help. Joke worked perfectly. JD

Ezra smiled as he closed his phone and slipped it back into his suit coat pocket, pleased that he and JD were able to turn the tables on their mischievous colleagues. JD had gone to Ezra earlier in the evening with his suspicions that one of the guys was hiding his hamster and it didn't take too much of an effort to figure out who and where. Using his tactile sensitivity Ezra deftly opened Vin's locker and found the item in question. It was then a plan was hatched that had JD sneaking the said item into Chris' office after he made a few minor modifications so that it could be set off by remote. As the saying goes, 'turnabout is fair play.'



The Las Vegas Chronicles