Uh…I Can Explain, Mister Larabee

by Sue M

Summary:Could a day get any better…NOT!

Characters: JD, OFC

Betad By Phyllis and Antoinette, thanks girls :o)

Ratings/Warnings: Some bad language

'Laugh it up, guys…it coulda happened to any one of you…aah, who am I kidding? Only me…John Daniel Dunne…can get into scrapes like this. I guess it's just part of my genetic make up or something. At least no one got hurt…well, maybe my pride…and Candice…well, not hurt as such… just pissed maybe. Can't say I blame her, God knows I tried to be gentle…thoughtful… but there's only so many times you can hear the word 'no' and still smile.

Unlike these five boneheads…and the fierce look I just threw them made 'em laugh even harder…shoot! Aww shit…here comes Chris…he does NOT look pleased.'

JD stood, awkwardly. "Uh…I can explain, Mister Larabee. It all started earlier today…"


Just coming from a guest suite after helping a client to his room, JD was heading for the elevator when someone called to him from an open door.


Turning, he walked back and peeked in, grinning when he saw Candice, from housekeeping.

"Hey, how're you doing?"

"I'm good." She waved her hand. "Come in, you gotta see what I just found in here."

JD frowned, glancing around. "I can't do that, it's someone's room…"

"No," she assured, "it was vacated yesterday."

Seeing her grinning and beckoning him in, JD figured 'why not? Couldn't hurt…just for a minute.'

"Close your eyes and hold out your hand."

"Which one?" JD asked.

Candice giggled. "Doesn't matter, just do it."

With a shrug, JD held out his left hand and closed his eyes, opening them quickly on feeling something cold on his wrist and hearing an odd ratcheting sound.


Candice giggled again, snapping her wrist into the other bracelet. "No prizes for guessing what sort of a weekend this couple had, huh?"

JD chuckled. "Yeah. Okay, unlock them and I'll take them down to reception. Sandy can book them in, in case the previous occupants call and ask after them."

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen," she grinned, her smile waning as she fiddled with the lock.

"Hurry up," JD urged, "I got a meeting in five minutes."


JD stared hard at the girl who had gone pale and was still struggling with the cuffs. "Candice?"

"I…I can't open them," she gulped.

"Very funny," JD smiled, trying to ignore the odd feeling starting in the pit of his stomach. "Where's the key?"


JD went pale. "Holy shit, Candice…there' s no key?"


Trying to stay calm, JD soon realized they were…screwed. 'Think JD… think…'   "Okay!"

Candice jerked at his sudden outburst. "What?"

"We gotta find Ezra, he can help us, come on." As they stepped out of the room, a middle-aged couple exited theirs. JD quickly grabbed Candice's hand and held it, hoping to disguise the chain, smiling as the couple grinned and passed them, to then wince at the lady's remark.

"Aww…see, I told you…all that noise…looks like they're just married… and have a fetish for dressing up…"

JD dropped his head, blushing. "Oh God…"

Giggling, Candice smoothed down her uniform. JD scowled. "This isn't funny, Chris isn't gonna see the humorous side of this at all."

Candice paled, "Mmm…neither is Mrs. Headley."

JD nodded, the Head of Housekeeping would not be amused one of her housekeepers was chained to Chris' tech guy. He keyed his mic. "Ezra… where are you at the moment?"

Buck answered. "He's coming in later…got an appointment at 8:30. Get your ass down here, squirt, You're gonna be late for the…"

"Buck…not over the air…" In seconds, he'd dialed Buck's cell. "Listen, big bro, I need a real big favor. Get me out of that meeting…say I'm sick…or with a client...on fire…anything, just…get me out of it."

"You okay?"

JD sighed. "Yeah, I'm good, I'll explain everything later, just p-l-e-a-s-e…help me out here." He winced at the pause.

"Okay…but I wanna know…"

"You will, I promise…thanks, I owe ya." JD had no doubt Buck, hell, all of them, would find out about this sooner or later. He looked at Candice. "Take off your apron and let your hair down. We need to look like a couple until I can figure this out."

Candice smiled, teasingly. "Why, JD…"

"Behave, girl…this is serious." He couldn't help giving a little grin back.


"Oh thank you, Mister Sanchez, this is most kind…"


Realizing Josiah was close by, JD grabbed Candice. "In here!"

He opened a storage closet and shoved Candice inside, pressing his ear to the closed door as he listened for when Josiah left the area. Making the best of being in a dark cupboard with JD, Candice spun him, pinned his back against the door and kissed him hard on the lips.

JD's eyes flew open, but even though he and Casey were thinking things over, he still kinda liked this girl, and found himself relaxing into the kiss.


Shit…what was he doing? He took Candice's arms and gently pushed her away. "Not a good time," he warned, hoping he wouldn't have to explain further.

Reluctantly, Candice moved back. JD once again listened at the door, eventually turning and smiling. "All clear."

Peeking out, the pair emerged from the closet and, still hand in hand, headed for the elevator.

"Wouldn't Josiah have been able to help us?" she asked.

JD nodded, "Probably, but he's heading for the staff meeting, too. Unless I can get us out of this, I'll have to wait until that's over… don't want to piss off Chris any more than I'm already going to." In agreement, they entered the elevator.


JD wiped his brow with the back of his hand, a huge kitchen knife clasped tightly in it. He had been sawing at the chain for fifteen minutes…nothing. It hadn't even made a dent. Chef was gonna be really mad about the now blunt kitchen tool. He checked his watch, 7:45… okay, he'd have to get help. He sucked on a small cut to his finger and dialed his cell.

"Vin? Where's Chris? Cool…where are you? Right, stay there, I'll be… Buck's with you? Perfect…just. ..stay there." He looked at Candice. "I know they'll have material to use against me for months…but I have to get help."

Candice sighed. "I know." She tilted her head. "You know, I can think of worse things than being chained to you all day." She smiled. "Look, I heard you and Casey are cooling it for a while. Am I so awful you can't even go on a date with me?"

JD faced her fully and touched her cheek "It's not that. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about Casey right now…and it's really too complicated to explain in just a few minutes. I don't know what to say except…I'm sorry." He sighed. "Here's the thing…you're everything I like in a woman, you're sweet, funny, pretty…" he smiled shyly, "…sexy, but…"

"So's Casey?"

JD nodded.

"Damn…timing' s everything, huh?" She gave him a peck on the cheek. "Come on, Don Quixote..." she rattled the cuffs, "…let's get outta these things." They held hands and headed out, grinning. JD turned to her.

"Hey, wasn't Don Quixote thought of as mad at some point?"

Candice chuckled. "You call this sane?"

They both laughed and moved on to the bullpen.


Just as the pair reached the corridor to the security area, JD had an attack of nerves, exacerbated by the sudden arrival of Josiah, Nathan and Ezra. The young tech opened a utility room door and pushed a surprised and squeaking Candice inside, leaning against it heavily, unable to move due to the cuffs. The three spotted him, Nathan frowned.

"JD, are you okay?"

"Mm hmm."

"Why are you standing like that?" he pushed.

"Ahh…uh…my um…my back kinda...hurts, " he fibbed.

Nathan squatted down to take a look. "Where," he prodded, "here?"

JD swallowed, wriggling slightly. "Nathan, it's fine, really."

"Mister Dunne, you look decidedly peaked and uncomfortable, " Ezra noted. "Perhaps Mister Jackson and we should assist you to a more comfortable…"

"NO!" JD winced. "No…sorry…I didn't mean to shout. I'm fine…really." He balked at seeing Vin and Buck arrive.


Josiah answered Buck's question. "It would seem JD's in pain."

Vin and Buck tilted their heads, their eyes narrowing as if they knew more.


JD looked at Vin, then Buck, then all of them. Damn…guess there was no getting out of it now. He straightened and slowly opened the closet door, revealing a rather embarrassed housemaid. JD raised their cuffed hands as she stepped forward to join them.

"Okay…okay…let' s have it," he sighed in anticipation of their reactions.

Five faces forced themselves to stay straight.

"My, my…"

"Tricky one…"


"Shoot, kid…"

"I could probably shoot 'em off…just let me go take a nip of whiskey to steady my hand…"

"BUCK!" JD glared at his big brother, his face slowly creasing into a smile, then a chuckle then an almost silent laugh. That was all the others needed to crack their stoic expressions and laugh out loud.

"No key?"

"Duh," JD looked at Josiah.

"Have you tried butter?" Nathan asked.


"Cutting them?" Vin suggested.

"Did that right after the butter," JD sighed, "I think they're made of Kryptonite or something."

They all laughed.

"I believe I can assist," Ezra grinned, gesturing toward the bullpen. "Shall we?"

Relieved, JD and Candice followed the five men, sitting down as they got inside the monitor room. Vin ushered the three guys on duty out and indicated it was safe for the pair to unclasp hands. Ezra studied the cuffs for a minute or so.

"Well?" JD was getting a little concerned.

"It appears these are the real deal, my young friends. Quite a sturdy little locking mechanism you have there."

"Can you fix it, Mister Standish?" Candice asked.

Ezra's grin widened. "My dear, watch and learn…"


"What the hell's going on here?"

All eyes turned to the just arriving Chief of Security. JD's heart sank. He stood and looked at Chris. "Uh…I can explain, Mister Larabee. It all started earlier today…"

Chris took a seat, his expression unreadable, save for the start of a glare and a raised eyebrow. Sitting back, he folded his arms and raised his right leg to lay his ankle on his left knee as he looked at the sorry pair. "This should be good."


The table in Mystique erupted with laughter as JD endured tease after tease from his six friends. He just grinned tightly and sipped his milk, looking up as Inez arrived with three cocktails, placing them in front of JD.

"What are these?" he asked, looking around at his friends, warily. Vin grinned, pointing.

"That's called an 'Allen Key', that one's a 'Screwdriver'… "

"And this one's a 'Joker'," Buck chuckled, causing more laughter.

"Oh, har, har," JD fake mocked, chuckling as Buck grabbed his shoulders and squeezed, playfully.

"So," Buck continued…"cuffed to a cutie, huh?"

"Buck…" JD warned.

"It's always the quiet ones."

JD narrowed his eyes at Vin. "Et tu, Tanner?"

"Latin? And there's me thinking you'd moved on to more…erotic literature."

"EZRA!" JD choked out through the swallow of milk he had just taken.

"Now boys, if JD wants to get a little…'adventurous'… " Josiah teased.

"So…your back's okay?"

JD groaned and put his head on the table. "Yes thank you, Nathan," he said, softly.

"You miss another one of my meetings and I'll chain you to the drain at the bottom of the pool…while it's still full."

JD's head shot up as he stared wide-eyed at Larabee. He saw his boss wink and take a swig of beer. JD laughed nervously, unsure whether to take Chris seriously or not. He looked around at his grinning friends… his family, a smile creeping to his face.

"Well, I guess it could have been worse…" He stood from his seat, observing the frowns. 'Time to play them at their own game'. He grinned, and bobbed his eyebrows, enjoying the uproar his next words caused before turning and sauntering to the bar.

"We coulda still been naked!"




Don Quixote - The novel's tragicomic hero. Don Quixote's main quest in life is to revive knight-errantry in a world devoid of chivalric virtues and values. He believes only what he chooses to believe and sees the world very differently from most people. Honest, dignified, proud, and idealistic, he wants to save the world.