Family Matters

by Stan Lee *

Alternate Universe: Family Matters

Vin's foot bounced anxiously, tapping out a syncopated rhythm on the tile floor, making his car keys jangle in his pocket. He looked up when the school secretary cleared her throat noisily and frowned at him. He forced himself to still the drumming. He was in plenty enough trouble already, he didn't need another adult pissed off at him. Not with Chris and Buck due any minute.

He heard the door at the end of the hallway open and glanced up, almost dreading what he would see. Buck was walking quickly towards him, the glare on his face easy to read even at this distance. Vin swallowed. Fuck it! He was in for it now.

He stood up, trying not to shuffle nervously from foot to foot, looking over Buck's shoulder to see where Chris was. For a brief moment his spirits rose. Chris wasn't here. Then Buck bore down on him and all thoughts of Chris flew out of his head. Buck being mad at him was bad enough.

Buck reached up a surprisingly gentle hand and cupped his chin, turning his face towards the light to examine his latest black eye. He bore the scrutiny wordlessly, even when Buck jerked his head back around and forced him to look into angry eyes.

"You are in a world of shit, son," Buck breathed and Vin winced and hung his head.

Buck turned his attention to the secretary. "Buck Wilmington, here to see Mr. Andrews."

The secretary gave him a half smile and picked up the phone and a moment later the high school principal opened his office door and waved Buck inside. Buck turned to usher Vin into the office and they sat in front of the principal's desk, Vin slouching low in his chair, trying for invisibility.

"Are we waiting for Mr. Larabee?" the principal asked.

"He can't make it. He's in a meeting," Buck said shortly.

The principal frowned and sighed. "Mr. Wilmington, as you know, this is not the first time Vin has been in a fist fight. In fact, it is becoming a disturbingly regular occurrence."

Vin shrank lower in his chair. Don't ask me why, don't ask me why, he chanted to himself.

"What was it about this time?" Buck asked.

"He doesn't seem inclined to tell us. Which only makes it worse, of course."

Vin kept his eyes firmly on the ground when Buck turned to look at him. "You can rest assured he'll tell me," Buck said resolutely.

Shit.

"I'm afraid we have no option but to suspend him," Mr. Andrews continued. "We did warn you last time that this would happen."

Buck nodded curtly. "How long?"

"Two weeks."

"Shit!" Vin said, his eyes flying to meet Buck's furious glare when he realized he'd said the word aloud. "Sorry, Buck," he mumbled, knowing the man would add that to the score he had to settle.

"We'll send work home to him each day," the principal continued. "His brother can bring it to him. We expect him to keep up with his studies..."

"You can count on it," Buck said grimly.

The principal rose. "Needless to say, this is his last chance. We can't tolerate this kind of behavior any longer, Mr. Wilmington. I will not accept violence in my school. Good day."

Buck stood up and Vin scrambled to his feet and followed him out of the office. He stayed a couple of paces behind the man as Buck strode down the hallway and banged out of the school. Vin automatically reached for his car keys, looking up when Buck held out a hand.

"Give 'em up, Vin. You know what Chris said last time."

"But Buck..." Vin started.

"You might want to chose a better time to argue with me, son. Because this is NOT A GOOD MOMENT!"

Vin flinched and handed the keys over. "I'll walk over later and drive the car home," Buck continued, a little more reasonably. "Now get yer ass into the truck and wait for me while I find JD and tell him he's walking home tonight."

"Yes sir," Vin muttered and walked dejectedly over to the truck. He tried to look on the bright side. At least Chris wasn't here.

Buck climbed behind the wheel but instead of turning on the engine he sat and looked at Vin, until the youngster glanced up at him.

"So?" he asked.

"So what?" Vin answered, surly.

"Vincent Tanner, you change that tone right now or so help me I'll put you across my knee, 16 years old or not," Buck threatened.

Vin looked down at his hands, twisting nervously on his lap, and Buck saw him swallow hard.

"Let's try that again," Buck said, reining in his temper. Chris was the one who lost it, not him. He was supposed to be the calm one. "What was the fight about?"

Vin remained stubbornly silent.

"Fine," Buck said. "I'll let Chris ask that question."

Vin's head shot up. "Just kid's stuff," he tried, obviously hoping that would be a sufficient answer. Buck would have laughed, if he weren't so angry.

"You told us last time that you wouldn't get into any more fights, damn it," Buck said, the calm approach abandoned. "You promised us that you wouldn't let your temper get the better of you again."

Vin kept his head down. "I'm sorry, Buck..."

"Vin, sorry isn't gonna cut it this time," Buck interrupted. "You've said you're sorry before, but you keep going back to it, you keep getting into trouble. You heard your principal. This is your last chance."

Vin looked over, a tangle of emotions crossing the boy's face, genuine contrition in his eyes. Buck weighed up what he knew of his son, the reasons he'd gotten into trouble the last time, and his gut clenched.

"What they call us this time?" he asked softly. "Queers? Fags?"

Vin's head shot up and the shocked look on his face confirmed Buck's suspicions.

"Are you gonna tell him?" Vin whispered.

Buck reached out and stroked a hand down his son's arm. "No, Vin," he said. "You are."

Vin gave him a pleading look, "Please Buck, you know what he said last time. He'll kill me."

Buck laughed. "He's gonna be mad, but I doubt he'll kill you." He paused for effect, "Apparently it's illegal in this country. Come on, son, buckle up."

Vin reluctantly buckled his seatbelt and slumped down into the seat. "Where is he anyway?" he asked.

Buck started the truck and eased it carefully out of the parking lot. "In a meeting with Travis. Going over the hundredth draft of the budget." He couldn't help laughing when Vin groaned and hung his head in his hands. "That's right, kid. The budget. Couple of hours with Travis, stewing over numbers, drive home in rush hour traffic, knowing you're suspended for two weeks. I'd say your ass is grass."

Vin threw him a beseeching look. "Can't you just tell me what the punishment is, Buck?" he begged. "Do I have to listen to the fucking lecture too?"

Buck threw him a withering look. "That's not the way it works, Vin, and you know it. I'm gonna talk it over with Chris first. Besides, you deserve the lecture. Not that it did you much good last time, but it'll do Chris some good to give it. So you're gonna stand there and let him vent, and you're gonna suck it up, and you're gonna take whatever punishment we decide on. Understand?"

"Yes sir," Vin muttered.

"And Vin?"

Vin glanced over at him.

"Lose the swearing if you know what's good for you."

Vin sighed and slid down lower in the seat to contemplate his imminent demise.

Civilization had encroached this far west of downtown Denver, and the high school was only two miles from Chris and Buck's gravel drive. They reached the ranch house without further conversation and Buck suggested that Vin change into his work clothes and get on with his chores. Vin nodded and disappeared up the stairs, coming down a few minutes later dressed in his oldest jeans and a torn tee-shirt.

"You might want to make a start mucking out the stalls," Buck said. "I'm pretty sure that will be high on the list of things you'll have to do around here to atone for your sins."

"'Kay," Vin said. He started to walk out of the door, but turned back. "I really am sorry, Buck," he said. "Didn't want to drag you out of the office, didn't want to worry you guys."

Buck sighed. "I know you're sorry, Vin. You always are."

Vin winced at the subtle rebuke and turned to walk out of the house.

As if on cue, Buck's cell phone rang. He didn't need to look at the call display to figure out that it was Chris calling. He pressed a button, told Chris quickly and succinctly about Vin, and waited for the blast. Which wasn't long in coming.

"Two fucking weeks! I am going to make that kid wish he'd never been born. I'm going to strangle him with my bare hands. Two weeks! With exams just around the corner. If he thinks he's gonna sit around the house for two weeks while..."

"Chris, easy, easy," Buck soothed, and heard his lover splutter into the phone.

"Easy! How the hell can I take it easy?" There was a pause on the other end of the line and Buck could picture Chris taking a deep breath. "Okay. I'm gonna leave the office now. I'll pick up JD on the way home, he's got basketball practice right? What are we doing about dinner?"

"I've got it covered. Just - Chris. Try to calm down on the way home, will you? We don't need to spook JD, and Vin really is sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough," Chris exploded. "I know he's sorry, he's always sorry. But he keeps damned fighting. And it's gonna stop."

Buck pulled the phone away from his ear when the line went dead, grimacing at the prospect of what was coming. He looked up to see Vin standing in the doorway, a forlorn expression on his face.

"I thought you were doing chores," Buck said.

"Just came in to get a drink." He crossed the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator door. "He's really pissed, huh?" he asked, glancing at Buck. "I've fucked up big time."

"What do you think?" Buck asked. "If I were you, I'd make myself scarce in the next few hours. Give him a chance to settle down a little. I'll see if I can run interference for you."

Vin grabbed a soda. "Thanks, Buck," he said, gratefully. He turned to leave, yelping when Buck cuffed him on the back of the head.

"Last warning. Clean up your language before Chris comes home," Buck admonished. "He hears that and you'll be in deeper shit. Er, deeper trouble."

Despite himself, Vin grinned.

"Okay. Scram. Dinner's at seven. Don't show your face until then, unless I send for you." Vin bolted out of the house and Buck turned his attention to dinner.

This wasn't exactly the way he had planned to spend his evening. He had pictured himself and Chris stretched out on the couch, tucked up together, JD lying on his stomach on the floor, Vin either sprawled inelegantly over the armchair, or more likely settling on the floor close enough to JD and the popcorn while they watched the latest Bruce Willis action flick and gorged on junk food. He'd pictured the good-natured bickering between the two boys - would Arnie kick Bruce's butt in a real fight; I got the cokes last time, it's your turn; get some more popcorn while you're in the kitchen; what did your last servant die of? He'd almost been able to hear Chris' voice, alternately growling at the boys to settle down and watch the film, and whispering dirty comments into his ear every time there was the slightest double entendre on screen.

But having kids meant that the best laid plans had to be altered at a moment's notice.

There was a time, a hundred years ago it seemed, when life was much simpler. Before Vin and JD, when a plan could more or less be followed through without a hitch. But those days were long behind them. And of course, he admitted to himself with a smile, he wouldn't change that for anything.

He well remembered the first time he and Chris had seen the boys eight years ago--filthy, neglected, half-starved, Vin's arms wrapped tightly around the younger, dark haired boy. They had been found sitting at the feet of a dead woman, later discovered to be Vin's mother, a hooker who worked the streets, when she wasn't shooting up heroin. They had never found out who Vin's father was, and there had been no trace at all of JD's family. They had discovered enough paperwork in the run-down flophouse to identify the boys as Vincent Tanner and John David Dunne, although neither boy responded to his full name. Vin and JD, an eight year old and a six year old, petrified, clutching each other for comfort. Buck had scooped both boys up into his arms that day, and had never really let go of either of them since.

Buck crossed to the refrigerator and began to pull out vegetables to make a salad. He'd long ago given up trying to find something in that food group that JD actually liked, and had reverted to "because it's good for you," the old parental stand-by. So far he hadn't crossed the line into "because I said so." The day he went down that road was the day he'd hang up his World's Best Dad cap and admit defeat.

He'd never thought he'd ever be a father although he had loved being Adam's godfather. But when he'd seen the two boys in that hell-hole they'd been dragged up in, something had clutched at his heart, something painful and horrific and all too familiar. From the start Buck had been concerned with the welfare of the two traumatized boys and he had begun to visit the kids in the orphanage they had been placed in. Buck's own childhood had been harsh and he identified with the lost and lonely boys, who clung to him as the only adult they trusted. He kept his entanglement secret, knowing that these kids would remind Chris of Adam, after he had worked so hard to come to terms with that loss.

He and Chris had been partners for a year by then, living and working together, as happy as they thought it possible to be. Buck had at first been reluctant to reveal his growing attachment to the young boys. But his constant, unexplained disappearances on the weekend had alarmed Chris, who had asked him point blank one day who the woman was. Buck had confessed the real reason he had been spending so much time away from home, and had haltingly suggested that Chris might want to meet the boys. Although resistant at first, Chris had gradually come around, had started to accompany Buck on his visits and soon they began to host the kids on weekends and in the evening, until the young boys spent as much time in their house as they did at the orphanage and neither man could imagine life without them. When budget cuts in the early 90's forced the closure of the orphanage, it seemed a natural step for Buck and Chris to take on the boys full time.

Buck pulled a couple of large steaks out of the freezer and put them into the microwave to thaw. Vin had gone through a vegetarian stage about a year ago, which Buck suspected had more to do with a girl he had the hots for than any real moral objections. It had certainly seemed coincidental that the girl moved away at exactly the time Vin became a carnivore again. Between one of them refusing vegetables and the other refusing meat, he and Chris had been at their wit's end trying to provide nutritious meals. Until Chris got fed up and declared that the boys could eat what was put in front of them, or starve. The kids had gotten a lot less fussy since then.

In the beginning there had been resistance to the idea of him and Chris taking in the boys on a permanent basis. They were unmarried, both in their early thirties, on the face of it not the most ideal candidates for fathering two troubled young boys. But a sympathetic social worker, and their impeccable credentials as ATF officers, swayed opinion. Buck was both grateful and saddened when it was revealed that another factor in their favor was that Chris had already been a father. Chris' tragedy had somehow turned to triumph and JD Dunne and Vin Tanner had come to live with them full time.

They had never officially adopted the boys. They had picked up the paperwork from time to time, but they were scared that the authorities would dig too deeply into their lives and refuse their application and they preferred not to take that risk. Travis had pulled strings with insurance coverage, and that was all that had ever mattered. Now, after eight years, it was simply accepted that the boys belonged to them. JD and Vin considered themselves brothers, Chris and Buck the only family they had ever really known.

Buck glanced up from the salad dressing he was mixing when he heard the car pull into the driveway. He walked over to the door and watched as Chris and JD climbed out of the car, thankful at least that today they had both driven to work and Chris hadn't been stranded without a ride. He certainly didn't need anything else to blacken his mood.

Buck pasted on a smile when JD trudged up the steps to the house, his normal enthusiasm dampened by the morose atmosphere and worry over his brother. He pushed past Buck without a word and went upstairs to his bedroom.

Chris followed close on his heels, looking for a moment as though he too would barrel past his lover into the house. But at the last minute he leaned up and placed a perfunctory kiss on Buck's cheek.

"Where is he?" he asked.

"Out back. Doing chores. Let's leave this until we've finished making dinner."

Chris looked at him closely. "You're gonna try to talk me down, aren't you?" he said suspiciously. "I've just listened to JD telling me how it's not Vin's fault, how Vin was just standing up for himself, how Vin didn't do anything wrong. Now I have to listen to the same from you?"

Buck slipped his arms around Chris' waist and pulled him up close. "I'm just saying, let's get supper on the table, that's all. Unless you think bread and water should be part of his punishment?"

Chris grunted and tipped his head, capturing Buck's lips for a longer kiss. They didn't stop when they heard JD thunder down the stairs, jumping the last steps to land with a thud.

JD poked his head around the door and asked, "When's dinner? I'm starved."

They pulled apart then, although they kept their arms wrapped loosely around each other as they walked into the house.

"It's at seven. Like it has been every night for the past eight years," Chris said, causing Buck to smile. This teenager thing was really wearing on Chris.

"And JD, you jump down those stairs one more time and you'll be doing double duty on your chores, ya hear me?" Buck added.

"Yeah, Buck." JD didn't look too chastened. He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and headed for the door. "Going to help Vin," he said and rushed out.

Chris frowned, and Buck headed off the return of his temper. "Why don't you have a shower, get changed. I'll finish up here," he offered.

"Supposed to be my turn to cook," Chris said guiltily.

"Yeah, well, my treat. You can do the bread and water tomorrow."

Chris smiled. He could really use a shower. His muscles were tense from pouring over figures all afternoon, not to mention what Vin had put him through. He pushed that thought away. No point getting mad all over again. They'd deal with Vin in good time.

"I have a better idea," he flirted. "Why don't you come upstairs and scrub my back for me?"

Buck shook his head. "And the two teenage boys we have in the house? Remember them?"

Chris sidled up to him and rubbed up against his groin. "They're not in the house. Vin won't show his face until suppertime. Least that's what you probably told him," he smirked at Buck's guilty blush. "And JD's gone to keep the condemned man company. Probably thinks he'll never see Vin again after tonight, probably thinks I'll toss him into solitary and throw away the key."

Buck grinned. "Don't tell me it hasn't crossed your mind," he said. "Okay. Go get the shower running. But if one of them walks in on us, you're paying for the shrink."

Chris laughed and walked upstairs, and soon Buck heard the shower running. He put the salad back in the refrigerator and took the stairs two at a time, slipping into the bathroom and locking the door firmly behind him.

Not that the kids had ever walked in on them, nor was it very likely. He and Chris practically lived like monks. Well, he thought, stripping off his clothes, that wasn't exactly true. But since the boys had come into their lives they had become much more circumspect about where they made love. Sometimes he missed the days when he would bend Chris over the kitchen table at the slightest provocation and take him hard and fast, or when Chris would drop to his knees the minute they walked through the door after work and happily suck on his cock. He had to admit that some of the spontaneity had gone out of their love life. On the other hand, he thought, as he stepped into the shower stall and pressed Chris' ass against the cold tiles, listening to him hiss, listening to the hiss turn into a moan when his hand encircled his lover's rigid cock, on the other hand, they had certainly become more inventive.

Fifteen minutes and one mind-blowing orgasm later he was scrubbing a towel through his wet hair while Chris rinsed sweat and semen off his body. The fact that his lover was humming was a good sign. When Chris turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, Buck made his play. "About Vin," he began. And the negotiation started.

When supper was almost ready, the steaks under the grill, salad and potatoes and a large tub of sour cream placed on the table, Buck stepped out onto the porch and hollered, "JD."

JD stuck his head out of the barn.

"Get your brother. Come on up to the house."

JD's head disappeared and soon the two boys walked into the kitchen, both glancing warily at Chris.

"Go wash up, the pair of you," Chris said, his tone mild.

Vin looked at him and opened his mouth to speak but Chris cut him off. "Go get cleaned up, Vin. We'll talk about this after supper."

Vin nodded and went upstairs. Buck chuckled and came up behind Chris, sliding his arms around his waist, brushing a kiss onto his neck. "Now you've confused him," he whispered. "First rule of handling teenagers: Always keep 'em guessing."

Chris grinned and turned in the shelter of his arms. "When did you become such an expert?"

Buck planted a kiss on his lover's full lips. "Everything I know, I learned from Oprah," he declared.

Chris quirked an eyebrow. "And I'm taking advice from you? What kind of jackass does that make me?"

He was spared an answer when JD and Vin walked back down the stairs. He stepped away from Buck and busied himself getting the rest of supper onto the table. The boys laid the table, in absolute silence for a change. Usually JD's mouth ran a mile a minute, Buck was almost as verbose, Chris and Vin competing for whatever space was left between those two. But tonight not a word was exchanged.

Vin kept his head down all through supper, hardly touching his food. He jumped when Buck said, "Eat up, Vin. Don't like to see good food go to waste."

"Not really hungry," Vin mumbled, glancing up. Nobody seemed to be. Even JD, who had declared himself starved not two hours ago, scarcely did more than move the food around on his plate. Eventually even the adults gave up.

Chris glanced at Buck, who shrugged. There was no putting this off any longer.

"Vin." He waited until Vin raised his head. "Tell me what happened."

Vin threw a look to Buck, a clear entreaty, but out of the corner of his eyes, Chris saw Buck shake his head. Vin swallowed. "Got into a fight," he muttered.

A muscle in Chris' jaw twitched and Buck nudged him in the ribs. Right. Keep a hold of the temper, he reminded himself.

"The details, Vin," he said, allowing a small amount of his frustration and anger to show through.

Vin shifted uncomfortably. "Just a kid calling names," he said. "Just nothing. Stupid stuff. Just stuff between kids. I lost my temper, I know I shouldn't have but I did, and..."

"Vin," Chris snapped, and the boy subsided. Any time he babbled was a sure sign he was prevaricating. Chris dragged in a steadying breath and tried again. "What names? What did he say?"

Vin looked up, pleading in his eyes. "Please, Chris," he murmured.

Buck leaned forward. "Come on, son," he said gently.

"That you two are fags," Vin blurted, unable to look either of the men in the eyes. JD reached out a hand and squeezed Vin's arm.

"Damn it, Vin! You've heard that word before. A hundred times. Haven't we told you to ignore it?" Chris said.

"That's easy for you to say," Vin said, head rearing, temper flaring. "You don't understand what it's like for us. For me. For JD."

"You don't think we've heard the word before? Heard 'em all?" Chris said, his voice rising, his own temper working loose. "But you don't see us getting into a fight every time some idiot makes a fool comment. We've told you again and again. Do NOT get into a fight on our account."

"But that's just bullshit!" Vin yelled. "How can you expect me to stand by and do nothing when some stupid red neck fucker is calling you names?"

Chris slammed his fist on the table, making crockery and JD jump. "Young man, drop the attitude and can the language," Chris yelled back. Vin subsided back into his chair and Chris did his best to follow suit, pushing down hard on the anger he felt washing through him.

"We warned you last time that we would not tolerate this again from you. School suspended you for two weeks. Now hear our punishment. You are on restriction for a month, no TV, no video games, no computer, no going out with your friends, no allowance. You will do the chores we set you, and you can believe me when I tell you you'll have more than enough to keep you busy. Buck already has your car keys, you won't be needing them anytime soon. And the camping trip is off. Sorry JD."

Vin raised his head, "Not for JD too, Chris. That's not fair. He didn't do anything."

Chris leaned forward again. "You're gonna learn that your actions have consequences, Vin. Not just for you but for others. It was a family trip. We're not going without you, and you're grounded."

Vin looked absolutely stricken, and JD didn't look much better. "You're gonna spend the next two weeks keeping up with schoolwork. If you give me your word that you'll abide by the punishment, you can spend the time at home. Otherwise you can come into the office with us and work from there."

Vin looked between the two men. "I give you my word," he muttered.

"Good. Now. I want another promise from you," Chris said.

Vin looked up warily.

"I want you to promise you won't fight again because of Buck and me."

Vin looked down resolutely. "Can't," he murmured.

"I beg your pardon?" Chris said, his voice low and harsh, watching as Vin flinched at the tone. He was aware of Buck sliding a hand across the back of his chair, and wondered briefly whether his lover thought he'd need restraining.

"I can't promise that, Chris," Vin said unhappily.

Chris stood slowly, then leaned both hands on the table and bent towards Vin.

"I am giving you one last chance, here, Vin. Give me your word."

Vin swallowed noisily. He kept his head lowered but his voice was clear when he spoke. "I don't know if I can keep a promise like that," he said.

Chris straightened. "Okay. Go to your room, Vin. Wait for me there."

Vin glanced at him, cut a desperate look over to Buck, then stood up and walked upstairs.

"JD, get on and do your homework," Chris said, and watched as the boy scrambled hastily to find his school bag and practically ran upstairs to his room.

When he was sure both boys were out of earshot Chris let out a string of colorful curses. "What the hell am I going to do with him? What? He keeps pushing and pushing and I'm gonna have to push back. Jesus, Buck. What do I do now?"

Buck patted his back, an almost absent gesture, and Chris glanced over at him. He appeared lost in thought, had a look on his face Chris had seen there a time or two before.

"I think we're going about this all wrong," Buck said slowly, obviously thinking it through, working it out in his head.

"Well I'm open to suggestions, Oprah," Chris said sarcastically.

Buck didn't even smile. "We have to figure out why he's fighting, no, listen, I mean really figure it out. Why does the name calling bother him so much? I have an idea, Chris. I'd like to try something here. Something different."

Chris sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Christ, I need all the help I can get. What do you have in mind?"

7 - 7 - 7 - 7

Vin paced in his bedroom, half an ear out listening for Chris' footsteps on the stairs. He had sure been angry. Madder than Vin had ever seen him, and he'd seen him plenty mad before. He hated all this. Hated that Chris and Buck were pissed at him, hated that his actions had caused the cancellation of their camping trip, hated the disappointment he had seen on JD's face. He tried not to think about what Chris was going to do when he came upstairs.

Why the hell hadn't he just made the promise Chris wanted of him?

Because he knew it would be a lie, that's why. There was just no way he could stand by and listen to assholes like John Gray calling Buck and Chris names. No fucking way.

Chris and Buck were everything to him. They had given him and JD a home when nobody else wanted them, they had provided security and safety, and love, so much love and laughter. Unlike JD, he remembered what life was like before that day Buck had scooped them up into his arms. He remembered the cold, the fear, the almost constant hunger. He remembered hiding with JD in a closet under the stairs, even though it was dark and dripping with spider's webs, afraid that The Man would get them. He remembered how many times his mother had failed to return home at night and how he had had to scrounge through the empty cupboards in the kitchen to find something for JD to eat. He remembered how the young boy had whimpered when hungry and cried when afraid, how he had slept with a thumb jammed in his mouth, tucked up tightly beside Vin, wetting the bed most nights.

That seemed like a different life, a bad dream, like the kid who'd huddled beside his mother's corpse had died or woken up when Buck appeared, tall, warm, strong arms wrapped around him and JD. He still remembered how tightly he and JD had burrowed against the man, instinctively knowing that he was safety, sniffing against his neck and smelling his cologne, the stuff he still used, that even now made Vin feel vaguely safe and protected. Buck had been the first adult he had ever fully trusted. Even his mother had let him down more times than she had helped him.

And then Buck had brought Chris to meet them. They were both scared of him at first and JD hid behind Vin and wouldn't come out until Buck coaxed him with a stick of gum. Vin had gradually grown to trust him, partly because Buck did, partly because he tried so hard to be kind to JD and that meant a lot to Vin. And then they had gotten to go home with Buck and Chris, hardly believing it could be true. Open-mouthed at the size of the ranch, at the horses in the stable which they were told they'd be able to ride as soon as they learned some basic skills. He rode almost every day now, working the horses, even trying his hand at breeding and raising his first colt with Chris and Buck's help.

Stupid little things that Chris and Buck took for granted, like food in the refrigerator, and the freedom to eat anything they wanted, any time they were hungry. A warm, clean home that smelled good. People he could trust and respect, men he never doubted loved him and JD, who picked JD up when he fell and scraped his knee trying to climb onto the roof of the stable; who held Vin's hand when he needed a tetanus shot because he got caught up in a bale of barbed wire that he wasn't supposed to be touching in the first place; who soothed them both through nightmares and unexplainable terrors.

Yeah, these two men had given him everything and meant the world to him. And if he had to take a few knocks to defend them from stupid little fuckers and their name calling, well that was a price he was willing to pay.

He stopped pacing when he heard footsteps, bracing himself for whatever way Chris would punish him. He detested the disappointed look on the faces of both the men he loved, but he was no coward. Nobody was going to get away with hurting his family, not while he was able to protect them.

He looked up when the door opened, frowning a little to see Buck standing in his doorway. "Come on downstairs to the den. Bring JD with you," Buck said.

Vin nodded and crossed the hallway to his brother's room. JD was sitting at his desk with his homework spread out in front of him, but it didn't look as though he had accomplished much.

"Buck wants us downstairs," he said.

JD looked at him, and stood up, closing his school books with a thump. "Chris sure was pissed," he said quietly.

"I noticed," Vin said dryly. "Listen, about the camping trip..."

"Didn't want to go without you anyway," JD said resolutely. "And I'm glad you hit that asshole."

Vin winced. "Don't let Chris hear you say that, otherwise we'll both end up in the stockade."

JD grinned, but his smile faded quickly. "What do you think they'll do to you?" he asked, eyes filled with apprehension.

"Electric chair, gas chamber? I don't know, JD. Suppose we should go find out."

JD crossed the room and they walked through the door and down the hallway.

"Can I have your stereo if you don't survive?" JD asked, then ducked and flew down the stairs when Vin aimed a blow at his head.

When the two boys got downstairs, Chris was sitting in the armchair and Buck was standing by the unlit fireplace, staring into the grate, a far-away look in his eyes.

"Sit down," Chris instructed. And the two boys sat on the couch, perching nervously on the edge.

Silence fell and Vin and JD exchanged a worried glance.

"Buck wants to talk to you," Chris said quietly, looking over at the man, with what looked like concern. Vin felt his stomach clench in anxiety.

Buck cleared his throat. "Vin you said we didn't know what it was like, being taunted, being made fun of. Well that isn't true. I know."

He stopped for a moment, glancing over at Chris, and Vin caught the look of reassurance Chris sent his way.

"I've never told you this before. Didn't think I'd ever tell anybody again. My mother was a prostitute," Buck said softly, keeping his eyes averted. "I was raised in a bunch of whorehouses, traveled all over the South with her. Each place I went, I had to register at a new school. Each school, somebody else to sneer and ridicule and call my mama names."

Vin caught a movement out of the corner of his eye and saw JD clench his fist, heard his small gasped breath. He reached out and covered the fist with his hand, squeezing tightly.

"I handled it the same way you boys do. Got into a lot of fights. Wouldn't tell my mamma what the fights were about. Got a lickin' every time I came home bloodied and wouldn't tell her why."

JD stiffened beside Vin. "Buck! You're not gonna hit him are you?"

Vin turned a startled look to his guardian and saw confusion in his eyes. "Course I'm not gonna hit him, JD. Have I ever hit either of you?"

"But you said your ma hit you," JD pointed out.

Buck threw a look at Chris and a small smile tugged at his mouth.

"JD, if I'd been inclined to hit either of you, don't you think you'd have seen it sometime in the past eight years?" he asked. "I think we can all agree you've done plenty that would have earned you a whipping if either Chris or I worked that way."

Chris chuckled at the myriad emotions that chased across their youngest's face. "Nobody's getting hit," he said firmly.

"Finish the story, Buck," Vin said. "What happened?"

"Well, in the end my mamma found out why I was always fighting and she asked me one question. She asked if I was ashamed of her." Buck stopped suddenly and Vin felt the cold clutch of anxiety tighten further until he thought he might throw up. Buck turned towards Vin.

"I know it's hard for you boys, because of Chris and me. It was hard for me too. But there are things we can do to make it easier for you. We've talked about it. We won't come to the school together anymore, only one of us will come watch you play football and basketball. We'll try not to go into town together..."

He continued to list the ways that he would change his life, the ways that he and Chris would deny themselves to make it easier for JD and Vin. But Vin didn't hear any more of the details. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He looked over at JD, saw the same shock in his eyes, cleared his throat and croaked, "You think we're ashamed of you?"

Buck stopped mid sentence. He glanced at Chris.

"What are we supposed to think, Vin?" Chris said, and there was sadness in his voice and in the eyes he turned on his son. "We've asked you over and again not to fight on our account. You've consistently disobeyed us on this. We figured you were embarrassed because of us. Yeah, we figure you're ashamed. But that's natural, a kid your age..."

Vin shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing. "I am NOT ashamed of you," he interrupted. "We're not ashamed of you," he said, indicating JD with a nod of his head. "We're proud of you. Proud of who you are, proud of what's between you, proud to defend you."

Chris looked over at him incredulously. "Defend us? Where'd you get the notion we need defending? Vin, do we look as though we give a rat's ass about what other people think about us? About what they say? We've never hidden who we are. The only thing we care about is the two of you and making this easier on you."

"But that ain't right, Chris," JD piped up. "We get into fights to show that we stand by you, that nobody's ever gonna say anything mean about either of you, that we will pound any fucker...uuungh!" He ground to a halt when Vin nudged him sharply in the ribs and flashed him a warning look.

JD looked sheepishly at his guardians and grimaced. "Sorry," he muttered.

Chris and Buck looked at each other, stunned. A silence fell over the room, Vin and JD shuffling nervously on the couch.

Chris cleared his throat. "Are you telling us that it doesn't bother you that we - that Buck and I - that he and I..."

"That you fuck each other?" Vin supplied.

"Vincent Tanner!" Chris roared, and Vin winced and dropped his eyes waiting for the axe to fall.

There was absolute silence in the room, then Vin became aware of JD shaking silently beside him. He shot him a quick look, and saw to his horror that JD was laughing noiselessly, but that he was obviously about to explode. He shook his head in warning, but it was too late. JD burst into laughter.

Vin could hardly bring himself to lift his head and look at his two guardians, sure they would be about ready to kill by now. But then he heard a noise, and looked up to see that Buck was also laughing, a full out belly-laugh that had him practically shaking. Vin glanced at Chris, who looked about as confused as he did.

Buck gasped for breath. "Guess it doesn't bother you, then," he said.

Vin shook his head, afraid to open his mouth again in case something else stupid slipped out.

Buck wiped at his eyes and smiled. "Okay. I misjudged you both. But we have to make a pact together." He walked over to the chair that Chris was sitting in and perched on the arm. "You have to accept that we do not expect you to stick up for us because we do not need defending. We're not ashamed of who we are, and as long as you're not, well that's all that counts. As long as we know that you're not embarrassed by us we'll carry on with our lives and you can leave the red-neck fuckers to their own ignorance."

JD laughed and Chris frowned up at his lover. "Nice example, Buck," he muttered.

Buck winked at Vin, who smiled back at him.

"Deal?"

Both boys nodded.

"So now, Vin. Will you give us your word that you won't get into any more fights on our account; that you understand that you don't have to stand up for us?"

Vin looked between the two men. "I give you my word," he said.

"Good. That's settled. Now. I think you two have some dishes to wash and a kitchen to clean. Go on, scoot."

The boys stood up and started to leave the room.

"And boys," Chris said, waiting until the two had turned towards him, "any more swearing from either of you and I might just change my mind about the hitting."

Vin looked at him as though weighing up the possibility, but JD just grinned. They left the room, bickering about whose turn it was to wash and who had to dry. When they'd left, Chris tumbled Buck down into his lap and kissed him gently on the lips.

"My very own Oprah," he smirked.

Buck smiled, but then he turned sober. "Do me a favor? Take JD over to the school and pick up Vin's car from the parking lot, I need to talk to Vin a little more."

Chris stroked a hand through his hair. "You okay? You haven't talked about her in a while."

"I'm good," Buck smiled. "Just gotta make sure he understands a couple things."

They walked into the kitchen to find Vin elbow deep in soapy water, and JD chatting happily beside him, waving a dishtowel in the air, although he seemed to be doing precious little dish drying with it.

"Hey squirt," Chris called. "Grab your jacket. You and I are going to take a walk."

JD threw a glance at Vin, who nodded at him. He dropped the towel on the pile of dishes beside the sink and grabbed up his jacket.

Buck listened as Chris and JD walked out of the house, JD talking a mile a minute, asking if he could drive on the way back, not waiting for the answer before proceeding with his next question. He could almost hear his lover's sigh. He walked over to the sink and picked up the dishcloth JD had discarded, and began to dry.

Vin glanced over at him and grinned. "Is this where you ask if I'm okay and do I want to talk about it?" he asked. "That's what I saw on Oprah, anyway."

"Smart ass," Buck growled.

Vin laughed but he sobered up quickly. "So, we have something in common. Both our ma's were whores."

Buck winced. "That's an ugly word, Vin. I'd rather you didn't use it."

Vin shrugged. "That's what they were," he whispered.

"And some people call Chris and I fags," Buck said, "but you seem to object to that."

Vin recoiled as though he'd been struck.

"Name calling's easy, son," Buck said, gently. "Looking past a label, that's the hard part."

They lapsed into silence, Buck giving his son time to consider what he'd said.

After a few moments Vin looked over at him. "I'm sorry you thought we were ashamed of you. I didn't realize we'd ever done anything to make you think that."

Buck shook his head. "Wasn't anything you or JD did," he said.

Vin looked at him, frowning, confused, then his face suddenly cleared. "You said yes," he breathed. "When your ma asked if you were ashamed of her. You said yes."

Buck nodded, feeling the old emotions wrench at his gut all over again. Hearing the names: whore, slut, cocksucker; watching in dread as his mother turned up at his school, her version of respectably dressed making it so much more obvious that she didn't belong, make-up pancaked on her face, skirt three inches shorter and cleavage three inches lower than anybody else's mom, facing his tormentors the only way he knew how, with his fists. Until the day his mother had asked the question, "Are you ashamed of me?" and he'd said yes. He'd watched the hurt and betrayal flare in her eyes, and then he'd actually felt what shame really was, the bitter taste of purposefully wounding somebody you love. But by then it was too late and the damage was done. His mother never came to his school again after that, never came out to watch him play on the team, never asked to meet the few friends he had made. And the irony was that he never got into another fight over her, he just walked away, and soon the boys stopped calling names, because there was no point ridiculing when there was no reaction. And the greatest irony of all: he hated it! Hated that his mother wasn't there for him, would have given anything to have her turn up for him, regardless of how she looked and how she dressed. And by the time he had summoned up the courage to tell her, it was too late. She was gone.

"You kids, you're so different," Buck said. "You're brave in a way I wasn't."

"What's so brave about standing up for what you believe in?" Vin asked, and Buck wondered if he'd ever been that young, that innocent.

They finished the dishes in contemplative silence, until a storm of noise behind them heralded the return of JD.

"We brought ice cream, guys," he trumpeted, bowling into the kitchen. "Mint chocolate chip. Vin's favorite."

"That's your favorite, JD," Vin said mildly.

JD just grinned at him.

Chris followed behind, a slightly harried look on his face, and Buck smiled at him. Chris walked over and slid his arms around Buck's waist, burying his head in his lover's chest, holding on as if for dear life.

"Save me from the mind and mouth of a 14 year old," he murmured.

"Hey," JD protested. "I wasn't that bad."

Chris turned, Buck's arms still around him, pressing back against his lover's body, enjoying the feel of his solid, steady presence. The kids had dragged down four bowls and were busy filling them with ice cream.

"When you're done you can both go out and finish your chores," Chris said.

He saw Vin and JD exchange a sly grin. "What?" he asked.

"Jeez, Chris," JD said. "We're not babies anymore."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Chris asked.

JD glanced at Vin and quirked an eyebrow.

"It means we know what you get up to when we're doing chores," Vin said.

"We've seen you come out of the bathroom together. Ain't exactly like there's a water shortage round here," JD said.

"OUT!" Chris bellowed, and the two boys grabbed their bowls and scrambled to get out of his range.

Buck was laughing fit to burst behind him. He turned, a grin splitting his own face. "Guess they really don't have a problem with us," he said.

"Guess not," Buck laughed. "So. They have at least another hour's work out there, looks like we have the place to ourselves. Can I interest you in a little playtime?"

Chris smiled. "Talked me into it. But Buck, let's skip the shower this time. I'm getting fed up with an ass full of cold tile when we have a perfectly comfortable bed upstairs. And a lock on our door. Let's go use 'em both."

Buck grinned and slipped a hand in his, detouring to pick up a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream, before pulling him up the stairs.

The End