Fire and Rain

MCAT Strength & Solidarity #4

Written by Tannertexaslady

With Sue M, who contributed her ideas, and wrote several great scenes for Fire & Rain. Her story, ‘Just Couldn’t Wait’ inspired this one.

Email:  tannertexaslady@yahoo.com , sue.morgan@btinternet.com

Feedback is welcome and appreciated, but save the flames for the barbeque.

Characters:  Vin, Chris, Ezra, Buck, Josiah, JD, & Nathan. In addition, there are additional original characters, the Wild Bunch, and the MCAT team. <Guest appearance by OW JD>

Rating:   FMR, Het, some violence and profanity included. Story contains explicit sexual situations between heterosexual couples.

Disclaimer:   This story is entirely a work of fiction, for entertainment purposes only, based on the characters from “The Magnificent Seven.” I don’t own 'em, but if I did I would run away with ‘em and never be seen again. CBS and Co., Trilogy Entertainment, and MGM had ‘em first and do not want to give ‘em away. I play at this for fun and do not make any money doing it. No infringement of any copyrights intended. This is strictly a piece of fiction. Any references to locations or people are only for story use and do not intend to depict any real place or person.

MCAT AU: MCAT (Major Crimes and Acts of Terrorism) Yes, it contains mystery, action, anguish, and het relationships. Further background and information on the characters of MCAT and the Larabee 7 families is available @ Magnificent Seventh Heaven  

MCAT: Turbulent Transitions, the foundation series for this AU is complete and archived @ Blackraptor.

MCAT: Strength & Solidarity ~ Series of stories which center on the Seven's intrinsic bonds of friendship and brotherhood, forces which have no boundaries.

# 4 ~ Fire and Rain ~ Dramatic life changes come for the residents of Larabee 7 when tragedy hits the Wild Bunch. Chris faces losing custody of his children, a marriage is in ruins, and no one is unaffected by the turn of life-altering events. The ramifications are far-reaching and devastating. Questioned loyalties divide the seven, and answers are difficult to come by.  

Acknowledgments:

From Sue ~ My thanks to Sherry for having enough faith in me to write in an AU out of my comfort zone. I've enjoyed our time together...even the early morning writing fuelled by Muse interference!  LOL Thanks also to the girls from Muse...your encouragement and help has been phenomenal.

From Sherry ~ Wendy thanks for the beta, bouncing ideas around, and your support. Sue, your muse started this and I’m glad you stuck around to help make it happen. Jan, I love your creative ideas; they do tend to make me smile. Jo, Mary Ann, Lisa, Robijean, and the rest of the M7Muse ladies… y’all are the best. Thanks for the critiques, suggestions, and encouragement along the way.

Bountyhunter’slady, the collage you created for Fire and Rain is awesome. All of your collages amaze me, and I appreciate the art you have contributed to the MCAT Series.

Notes:   Any mistakes are mine. I'm a Texan, born and raised.  I speak Texan, understand it, and write it, as I know it.  The original characters created for this series belong to the authors who created them. All chapter liner quotes written by tannertexaslady, except where noted by *. The story takes place after, and refers to events, which transpired in Sue M’s, ‘Just Couldn’t Wait'

A glossary of Law Enforcement terms used in this series is located @ http://www.tannertexaslady.com/Whatdidtheysay.html  

Previously….

Strength & Solidarity Series # 3 ~Turn the Page

Sunday, February 3 ~ Chris’s Journal

I have neglected writing down my thoughts lately, but to be fair, I have been somewhat busy. It is hard to believe we are only one month into the New Year… seems much longer. Right now, I am captive in my own home, on crutches again after undergoing surgery last Friday.  Vin and Kelli accompanied me to the hospital where I had outpatient surgery. Doctor Thorp used a laser of some kind and according to him, my knee will be better than the original in a few short weeks. Tomorrow I can ditch the crutches and replace them with a walking brace. Tuesday I return to work.

Vin is recovering from his own surgery, and will be attending physical therapy with me. We should both heal about the same time. I came close to losing him last week when an arrest went bad, and in spite of wearing a vest, a bullet managed to enter his shoulder, breaking up his collarbone.  Luckily, it did not shift far enough to hit his carotid artery or he would not be here.

I almost lost Buck too, not to death, but burnout. He is back with us again after saving Ezra from a bomb intended to blow him to kingdom come. He appeared relieved when he found out about the configuration of the new teams, and I’m beginning to think he never wanted to be a supervisor or a Captain anyway. Yet, I am not certain Buck has wrangled all the inner demons that drove him away in the first place. All of us will be there for him, but knowing he will not get his copy of ‘Legends of the Quest’ until later, concerns me. What else does he have to experience before it happens?

Worry about my children has taken up much of the past month. Grace is doing better since Caitlyn suggested letting her attend Reins daycare. I know I still have some big hurdles to overcome with her in the future, but for the moment, she is happy. I try to control my feelings of resentment against Linda, but it is difficult. Not having a mother is one thing, having one who shows so little concern for her children is abominable. Grace is fortunate to have so much family on Larabee 7 who love her. It does not make up for what Linda did, but it does give her security. Caitlyn is fantastic with her and her presence in Grace’s life has made a huge difference. Cody is too young yet, to know he is missing a mother in his life, but his time is coming.

Kelli is rebounding from her horrid experience with Ice. Sometimes I hate the fact that the woman is dead, because in my opinion, she did not suffer nearly enough for what she did. Kelli suffered too long and the loss she and Vin endured damn near destroyed them both. The only good thing to come of it all is that Kelli and I have a stronger father-daughter relationship. The years we were apart are not as much of an issue now as they were when we first started out.

Still, Ice’s actions left me fighting the urge to slip into a destructive mode of hatred and vengeance. I am determined not to give in though; it would be too easy to slip back into the hell it took me years to crawl out of after Sarah and Adam died. The damn codes Ice left as a parting gesture has JD temporarily stumped, but eventually he will break it and identify the person or persons responsible for Sarah and Adam’s death, of that I have no doubt. I plan to make certain justice is served. All I have to do is practice patience. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, given the shit that keeps happening around me, and to my family. I keep working on the bad feelings and talking it over with my NA sponsor, Mike, helps. What I learned at NA, and having six brothers around to support me make it bearable.

Our caseload at work has been a bitch, but with this last assignment wrapped up, I hope for a slowdown. At least until we work out all the details on the MCAT expansion teams and the construction crew completes the major remodeling of our office space. On one hand, I think it is exciting, on the other, I dread change, and the extra time involved for me as Assistant Director of MCAT Operations, overseeing the actions of three units. Travis calls it progress; I call it a pain in the ass.

Another surprising thing happened this month. I realized I could still enjoy a woman’s company without feeling guilty about taking time from my babies. Although I fought admitting it, it is nice to sit and talk with Caitlyn. She is intelligent, caring, direct, and easy on the eyes. Grace thinks the world of her, and while I have and will keep insisting we are only friends, she has entered my thoughts more often than I care to admit…yet. I am not convinced now is a good time to consider another relationship but…. who knows where we could end up?  I suppose time will tell.

~~~7~~~

Cowboy’s words echoed across the ages of time - Embrace the past, cherish the future, and fight like hell for today.

Chris could do that, this was his destiny and they were after all, his family and for Chris Larabee family was everything -allied by the timeless bonds of friendships and brotherhood, which tie us all to our past and gifts us with the promise of tomorrow-

Now we continue …three months later.

Chapter 1~ Fire and Rain

We are awakened, restored, and renewed
the bonds of desire have led me to you
*Fire of the Newly Arrived ~Rosanne Cash

Reins of Change ~ Saturday Afternoon May 24

Caitlyn stood in silence by the barn door, reluctant to intrude on the moment. When Chris agreed to talk to Jesse for her, she had no idea the bond the two forged could be so strong or that her foster son would respond this well to Chris’s influence. Yet he did. Even when their CPS caseworker Carmen Johnson broke the news about a couple willing to adopt Kyle and Tara, Jesse seemed to be happy for the young brother and sister, showing no signs of insecurity concerning his own position in her home.

“Time for the final test, let’s find out if this contraption fits Toby.” Over the past several weeks, Chris had spent many hours teaching Jesse how to first design, work the leather, and cut the pieces to create a bridle for his horse. He examined the leatherwork and put away the last of the tools, then handed the finished project to Jesse.

After a moment of hesitation, Jesse reached for the bridle. Chris Larabee was the first man in his life who made time to spend with him, not out of obligation, but because he chose to. Learning how to design and work the leather was a bonus. Jesse wanted this project to turn out right, not to prove his abilities, but more than anything he did not want to disappoint a man he had come to respect.

Jesse slipped the bridle over his horse’s nose, and broke into a grin. “We did it!”

“You did all the work, son,” Chris corrected him; “I only guided you a bit.”

Jesse caught sight of Cait standing inside the barn, and was proud to show off his accomplishment. “I made Toby a new bridle,” he turned to Chris with a smile, “almost, all by myself.”

“Perhaps you’ll consider making a new one for Moon Shadow, she…and I… would love it.” Cait stepped up to stand beside Chris.

Jesse glanced first at Chris, who nodded in return. “Sure, we can do that.”

Cait did not miss the wordless exchange between the two. “I’ll look forward to seeing what you create for her. In the meantime, I came over to tell you Willard needs your help. The last riding class left a mess in the arena and he’s grumbling.”

“On my way,” he said, hanging up Toby’s bridle. “Thanks, Chris. See you tomorrow?”

“You bet.” A big smile reinforced his words. “Buck and Vin built an enclosed playground for the little ones, but Cody, Grace, Trey, Bren, and Tannis are walking or rather running all the time now. I’m counting on you to help me corral them at Cody’s birthday party.”

Cait slipped her arms around Chris, giving him a hug. “You are good for him.”

“Jesse is a great kid, I enjoy his company.”  Chris returned her hug, letting his hand linger on her hips. “You’re not so bad yourself. I enjoy your company too. Just wished we had more time together… alone.”

“Me too, but with my obligations at Reins, group therapy, Jesse, Willard, the Wild Bunch, MCAT, Grace, Cody, and Dottie, I am beginning to think it’s not possible.”

Chris’s grin brightened, “Ah, but Dottie is gone until Monday. Vin and Kelli took my kids for the night and you promised to help me prepare for Cody’s birthday party tomorrow.” He leaned back to place his hands on her shoulders. “You haven’t changed your mind have you?”

“No I’m good to go. The last class of the weekend is over, and I’ve cleared my schedule, but Jesse…”

He stopped her, “…knows you’re going to help me. He’s okay with it,” he read the uncertainty in her eyes, “trust me.”

One of the things Caitlyn was certain of after four months of dating Chris Larabee, he was a man she trusted. He was also a man she liked, respected, and was pleased to call a good friend. “Let’s get started.”

Larabee Home

Three hours later, they had wrapped the presents, prepared the decorations to put up first thing in the morning, and Cody’s birthday cake was baking in the oven. They decided to think about dinner.

“Damn,” he said looking inside the filled refrigerator. “You’d guess with this much food ready to barbeque tomorrow; we’d find some kind of leftovers for tonight.”

“I assume Dottie cleaned out the old stuff to make room for the party fare.” She opened the pantry and scanned its contents. “Not much here, but we…”  A knock on the back door interrupted her sentence.

Chris answered it to find Kelli standing in front of him with her hands full of foil-covered plates. He reached to take some from her. “What’s all this?”

“It’s dinner for you and Cait.” She set down the rest, and glanced at Caitlyn with a smile. “Hi Cait,” turning back to her father, she explained, “Max figured you’d be hungry ‘bout now, so here’s y’alls part of our supper. I talked Vin into wranglin’ the kids while I came over here. There are also some presents for Cody in my Navigator. If you’d bring them in, Dad, I’d appreciate it.”

“Sure thing, but stay out of that.” He caught Kelli just as she started to taste the icing in the bowl on the counter.

Kelly dropped the spoon she had in her hand and glared at him.

“What? You think I don’t know my own kid?” Chris was laughing as he walked out the door, missing it when Kelli stuck her tongue out at his back.

Aware of the turbulent history between these two, Cait smiled. To see them now, one would believe their relationship had always been good, but they would be wrong. It was a testament to Larabee tenacity that they had forged a strong father-daughter bond. “Thanks for the food. I was afraid we might end up calling out for pizza.”

“Chris would drive fifty miles out of his way to avoid eatin’ delivery pizza, if possible.” Kelli helped her unwrap the dishes, and set the food on the kitchen table. “Vin on the other hand would do  the opposite; he loves pizza any way he can get it.”

Walking in on that comment, Chris scoffed, “Vin loves food period, the more the better.” He continued into the next room to add the packages to the stack on the dining room table, before he returned to the kitchen. “These were mixed in with the presents, yours?” He held up two DVD’s.

“Hell, you weren’t supposed to find ‘em yet.” Kelli frowned. “Vin and I thought y’all might enjoy a little downtime before tomorrow’s activities. The problem is we couldn’t agree on what y’all might want to watch, so he chose one and I chose the other.” She leaned over and kissed her dad on the cheek, “Enjoy. I have to get back and rescue Vin.”

“You think Grace and Cody will go to sleep without me? Maybe I should…”

“Relax, Dad. Cody, Trey, and Bren are fine together, and we have Caleb and Jason to help with ‘em. Andi is having a slumber party with Sarah, Maria, Tannis, and Grace, so they’re fine,” Kelli reassured him. “Rain and Nathan have the other Wild Bunch Kids at their house. At least for the night, their parents have a chance to be alone. Next time it’s our turn.”

“You have ten children under your roof tonight?” Cait shook her head.

“Yep, so I should be gettin’ back.” Kelli picked up her keys, and with a defiant grin toward her father, stuck her finger in the bowl of icing on the way out the door.

Chris grinned. “Sassy kid, I swear since she took her new position at work, I’ve seen an uninhibited side to Kel I never expected. She’s….”

“She’s worked through the plight Ice left her in and come out stronger for it,” Cait observed. “Some people never recover from that kind of trauma, and it haunts them for the rest of their lives. You should be proud of the way she and Vin handled it.”

“Oh, I am.” He slid his arm around Cait’s shoulder. “Those kids deserve a break. It’s been one challenge after another for them since they were married.”

“They’re not kids.”

“That could be debatable. Those two tend to lose about ten years the moment they leave work.” Chris grinned. “If the right mood hits, I swear they become teenagers.”

Cait nodded. “From what you’ve told me, and what I’ve seen, they’ve managed to build a relationship that works. In this day and age that in itself is an accomplishment.” Cait sighed. “In my business I’ve seen too many couples who give up trying when they meet even minor obstacles.”

Leaning down, he kissed her brow. “It’s a good thing we’re not quitters.” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “After all these months, I think this is the second time we’ve been alone together.” His lips touched hers, shivers of delight passed over them both… just as the oven timer went off.

“Damn,” Cait cursed the interruption.

With a deep sigh, Chris released her. “Birthday cake, dinner, and then, maybe we can sit down, relax, and watch a movie.”

“That sounds good to me Larabee.” She swatted him on the butt when he bent down to remove the cake from the oven, pleased to hear his laughter.

~~~7~~~

“Which one do you want to watch, ‘The Lake House’ or ‘3:10 to Yuma’?” Chris read the titles of the DVD’s.

Cait curled up on the couch. “I love westerns.”

“3:10 to Yuma it is then.”  Sliding the DVD in the machine, Chris joined her. Reaching out he put his arm around her, pulling her against him until her head rested on his chest.  At Cait’s questioning look Chris said, “What?  I have a beautiful woman who means the world to me, alone for the first time in weeks, and I’m not going to cuddle with her?”

Cait laughed while her heart was singing at his words. Snuggling closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her top leg over his.

He brushed his lips against her hair, breathing in her scent and thinking how very right it felt to have this woman in his arms.

Halfway through the movie, Chris felt a slight weight-shift and looked down at Caitlyn. He smiled when he realized she had dozed off. Well, it *had* been a long day.

He took the opportunity to gaze at her. God...she was beautiful. Her skin was perfect; her hair the color of sunset and her eyes, a man could lose all sense of time staring into them.

Feelings stirred within him, his pants tightened as his thoughts turned. Cait was an intelligent woman. Down to earth, selfless with her time, passionate about what she believed in and direct with her words. She did not play games to get his attention, understood his moods, accepted him for who he was, and cared about each member of the Wild Bunch almost as much as he did. She was also a sensual woman who stirred his latent desires. His growing discomfort caused him to move just enough for her to rouse.

She wondered for a moment where she was before the haze of sleep cleared. She felt safe and warm. Inhaling, she caught the familiar scent of Chris's cologne and it sent an electrical pulse deep within her, catching her off guard. Tilting her head, she looked at him...those lips...those eyes. Their gazes locked and her breath caught.

Chris drank in the features of her face...full lips, startling eyes. Before he realized it, he was bending his head towards hers. Their lips touched and they both shuddered, mutual desire deepened the kiss. They had both been without a relationship for a long time. The inability to be together more often fueled their discontent that their blossoming love affair was showing little progress. All those pent up frustrations went into one kiss, and they both knew...there was no going back.

Her uncontrolled quiver when he brushed his hand across her breast, prompted him to undo a few buttons, slipping his long fingers inside her bra, to cup and squeeze soft yielding flesh. Cait arched toward him, her leg rubbing across his groin, sending him into overdrive, which caused his swelling member to ache for release.

He broke off the kiss when her hand slid inside his shirt, his voice was husky with desire, “Cait...I want you...but not here...not like this. Will you come to my bed?”

“Yes,” her answer was instantaneous. He had awakened feelings in her that she did not think were possible to experience again. She uttered a soft gasp when he lifted her into his muscular arms, and carried her to his room.

Placing her down on the bed, Chris looked into her eyes for a moment. He recognized the signs of need and desire within her as she opened her arms to embrace him.

“Cait...” he whispered, showering her with tender kisses.

She stroked his face. “I want you.”

Chris shuddered. “Oh God...I want you too.” Kissing her, he brushed his fingers against her panties, feeling her damp and willing as she writhed to his touch. Eager to feel bare skin, their hands worked to divest each other of clothes, each sensual touch driving their over-sensitive bodies wild. Both naked, they gazed at one another, taking pleasure in the view.

“Cait...you are so beautiful.” He bent to take her breast in his mouth as she pulled him to her chest.

“I was just thinking the same thing of you,” she answered between rasping breaths. Her hands traveled down his back, massaging his firm buttocks with her gentle touch. Chris groaned and it excited her more, her legs opened as he suckled, nipped, and grazed his teeth across her rigid nipples while his hand wandered over her heated body. 

Chris could feel fingers fisting in his hair as he sucked and licked at her arched neck and satin skin, his tongue explored the soft, heated flesh from her shoulders to her naval, a squeal of delight greeting his exploration of the tiny indent, to follow a line down toward her moist, fragrant center. He looked up for approval, the gentle caress to his head telling him it was more than acceptable and he pushed in his tongue to taste, suckle and drive her wild.

She was desperate to feel every inch of him, to wrap herself in his warmth, to have him deep inside her.

Sensing she was close to the edge, Chris lifted his head and moved his body over her, his straining erection teasing, resting at her pulsing entrance. Cait's legs widened and he dropped his hips. His heart pounded, his mind lost control, and his aching body pressed home. They both cried out. All the past heartaches and loneliness of their lifetimes evaporated into waves of pleasure.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, the new angle increasing her pleasure while he thrust deeper and deeper. Their euphoric cries echoed throughout the room, as the beauty of true lovemaking commanded their souls.

Cait had forgotten the overwhelming emotion of having someone she loved filling her, thrusting into her, making her feel like she was the only woman in the world.

Chris was consumed with taking this beautiful woman to a place he hoped she would never come down from, to make her scream and call his name, to know she fulfilled him. He thrilled when her body reacted and moved to meet him. At last, their magnificent union rewarded them with a conclusion so fierce, they both screamed out while their bodies and minds convulsed with ecstasy.

Still as one, Chris moved to the side, bringing a quivering Caitlyn with him. He ran his hands over her body, desperate to hold onto the moment. He kissed her, his tongue tasting her, their kisses deepened. Afraid that letting go would destroy them; they held on to preserve the moment.

Awash with emotion, she rubbed her cheek against his. Chris held her tighter. There was no need for words as they drifted off into a sated sleep. Later he nudged her awake for more lovemaking.  Chris was a voracious lover. He was not shy with her and proved it throughout the night.  It was apparent by the end of their lovemaking session that she was insatiable, too, at least with him.

In the early morning hours, she awoke. He was still there. The memory of their lovemaking filled her thoughts. She’d had sex with Chris…over and over again. It had been amazing….and astonishing….and perfect, but there had also been a stunning discovery that complicated the hell out of their friendship….she knew without question, she was in love with him.

“Cait, you okay?” His velvet toned voice carried in the darkness.

“Yes, but I need to go home. If Jesse wakes up and finds me gone….”

Nuzzling against her neck, he sighed. “I know, and as much as I hate to let you go, I’ll take you home.” He nipped her earlobe. “Come on woman; let’s find your clothes before I forget to be reasonable and mature.”

Locating their clothes proved to be a challenge, but in due course, they were dressed. Chris pulled her into his arms for another deep and probing kiss as his fingers carded through her soft tresses.

Reluctant to end the kiss, Cait pulled back and locked her eyes with his. “What have we done?”

He chuckled, “I would think you’d know, but if I need to explain….we…”

“I know what we did you dolt.” She reacted to his attempt at humor by shaking her head. “I mean…bloody hell… I don’t know what I mean.”

Lifting her chin with his finger, he smiled. “Cait, it’s all right. I’m not sure where this takes us either, but I am certain it was right… for us. Trust me.” Drawing her to him for a tender kiss, his soft-spoken words meant to assure her. “We were friends before, and we’re friends now…. From friends to lovers is a natural progression. Let’s enjoy the gift we’ve been given and see where it leads us.”

All Cait could do was nod. She readily accepted that Chris was someone special in her life, but she had not expected to fall in love with him. Love was something she gave up on years ago… He might not know it yet, but Chris Larabee had just blown her settled, planned, and comfortable life all to hell.

Chapter 2

Loving commitments create the ties that bind.

Larabee 7 ~ Sunrise, Sunday, May 25

Racing across the open meadow, with the warm winds of May at their backs, Pony and Peso ran neck and neck to meet the sunrise. Their masters lay low over the saddles, enjoying the race, and the magnificent dawn the morning offered. A sudden burst of speed from Peso had him crossing the shallow stream, a nose ahead of Pony. Both men slowed their mounts, coming to a halt a few yards past the water.

“Yee haw!” Vin yelled, a big grin forming on his face as he glanced over at Chris. “That was fun.” He patted his horse’s neck, and dismounted.

“We almost had you,” Chris slid off his horse, holding on to Pony’s reins, “would have too, if we’d run another quarter mile.”

“Yeah, yeah, excuses, excuses.” Vin unsaddled Peso, allowing him to cool off before letting him drink from the stream. “You have to admit, considerin’ your knee and my shoulder, it’s been so long since we’ve been able to ride, you’re out of practice….at least with ridin’ horseback.” The frown on Chris’s face made him chuckle. “Hell, your thoughts are broadcastin’ loud enough for me to hear ‘em halfway to Texas. If you don’t want me to know all the details of your night with Cait, you need to tone ‘em down a notch.”

“Quit listening to what I’m thinking.” A slight flush crept up his neck. “I never listen in on your thoughts about Kel.”

“Only because she’s your daughter,” Vin countered. “You used to pick my brain for explicit details every time I had a date.”

“Hell, we used to spend four or five nights a week at the saloon, getting drunk, flirting with and talking about women. Back then we were damn well happy if we got laid once in a while.” Sighing, Chris turned Pony loose and sat down by the water. “Our thoughts didn’t matter because none of what we did was that important in the grand scheme of things.”

Vin knelt next to him, allowing a comfortable silence to fall between them. When Chris called at six saying he wanted to ride, Vin knew he sought more than a good run for Pony. He needed a friend who would listen, and help him work out what was troubling him. “You sayin’ you miss those days?”

“God no, it wasn’t anything I’d want to repeat.” Chris shook his head. “I guess that’s why I never tried to hit the single bars after Linda left. What the hell made us think we were having fun?”

“Reckon you figured you’d never go back to bein’ a family man, and I…hell, I was an idiot to think it didn’t matter if I had a special woman in my life or not. Guess it was a good thing fate had other plans for both of us.”

Chris nodded. “The things that are important to me are on this ranch. My children, my brothers, their families…I thought I could be content and not need another relationship.”

Tanner knew the best way to make a point was to remind a man of his own words. “You told me years ago, there are plenty of women around willin’ to settle for a game of grab ass or a one-night fuck, but it’s the ties to a relationship that matter. A man needs a woman who stirs the fire inside him, to share his life, making the good times better, and the bad times bearable. I was too thickheaded to believe it, but you were right. Those ties are the best damn things in my life and I wouldn’t trade what I have with Kel for anythin’.” He stood and grabbed Peso’s saddle before turning around to look at Chris. “Cait is a good woman to ride the river with, don’t be afraid to get your feet wet.”

Chris laughed. “I think I’ve already waded in over my head, and the water’s still rising. Guess the only choice I have is to climb on that raft, hold on for the ride… and see where it takes me.” He stood up and dusted the dirt off his ass. “Thanks, you give good advice …for a wet behind the ears, long winded Texan.”

Mounting his horse, Vin grinned. “This Texan already has his woman and she stirs the fire in me just fine. You’re the one who’s lookin’ at some long nights alone if you fuck this up.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Stepping into the stirrup, Chris swung his leg over the saddle and rode up beside Peso. “We best get back and set up for the party. In a few hours, we’re going to be overrun with seventeen little ‘ties’ that’ll run, yell, cry, make messes, and without a doubt will keep us on our toes.”

“Speakin’ as the father of four of those little ‘ties’, I’m lookin’ forward to the chaos.”

Chris chuckled and said, “Yeah me too.” Scanning the horizon, he said, “Sun’s up, and we’re burning daylight.  Let’s ride.”

Tanner Home ~ 7:30 a.m.

“Reinforcements have arrived,” Buck called out as he and Inez came in through the back door, “refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready for duty.”

Kelli glanced up from attempting to feed the twins and Cody. “The rest of the kids just finished breakfast, and Max took them to the playroom. You wanna help, grab another spoon. These little guys have more food on their faces than in them.”

“I got this on.” Inez took over feeding Cody. “Buck, you get some coffee.”

He leaned down and kissed Inez on the brow. “Got ya covered.” Reaching for a cup he asked, “Where’s Vin hiding this morning?”

“Chris called early, askin’ him to ride with him. They should be back soon.”  Kelli washed Bren’s face and then Trey’s. “Give me fifteen minutes to bathe these two, and then it’s Cody’s turn.”

“Take your time, we’re fine.” Inez smiled when Cody grinned up at her.

“The Larabee charm strikes again,” Buck chuckled at Cody’s expression. “This one already has Inez wrapped around his little finger.”

“Thanks,” Kelli said as she lifted Bren, then Trey out of their highchairs, and hurried off with them.

Inez watched Buck while he talked and cooed to Cody. “Are you disappointed that we’re having another girl?”

“Heck no, I already have my son. Caleb and I will do fine with five Wilmington females in the house.” Tilting her head by placing his finger under her chin, he smiled at his wife. “The most important thing to me is that you and our newest daughter are healthy.” He leaned down and captured her mouth for a long slow kiss.

“Okay you two,” Vin said, entering through the kitchen door, “y’all had all night for that.” Grinning, he walked over to snatch a piece of sausage and a biscuit.

“We did and we thank you for the alone time,” Buck patted Inez’s stomach, “but I can’t get enough of my beautiful pregnant wife.”

Vin nodded, finishing off the biscuit in three bites, and then washed it down with coffee. “I hear you. Speakin’ of wives, have you seen mine?”

“She went to bathe your two youngest before coming back for Cody,” Inez told him, “but he filled his belly and is out like a light.”

“I’ll take him,” Vin said, easing Cody from Inez’s arms, careful not to wake him. “I told Jason and Caleb they could go with us over to Chris’s this mornin’.”

“Good, they can help us set up the chairs and tables.” Buck offered his wife a hand up. “Since you’re taking Cody, we’ll handle the rest of the munchkins ‘till the babies are down. What time is Chris expecting us?”

“When we get there,” Vin said over his shoulder. He headed for the nursery with the sleeping birthday boy cradled in his arms, smiling to himself when Buck called after him.

“Don’t rush back on our account, stud.”

~~~7~~~

The one-night stands and shallow affairs in his past were vague memories, and Vin could not recall one name that was significant. He stood unmoving, in the doorway observing the woman who had claimed his heart. Watching her hold the living proof of their love in her arms, filled him with a peace and contentment he had searched for his entire life. He had found what he needed and never knew he was missing until he met Kelli…. ties. Together, they were writing a beautiful book of lifetime memories, one page at a time.

Without making a sound, he placed Cody in the port-a-crib, walked up behind her as she laid Bren into his bed, and whispered in her ear, “The babies are asleep; it’s your turn for some TLC.”

Heat flushed over her and she leaned back into his arms to relish the feel of his hard body pressed against hers. “Buck and Inez…”

“…are in the other room with the rest of the kids and don’t expect us to make an appearance for a while.” He led her out of the nursery and down the hall to their bedroom.

When he locked the door behind them, he flipped the stereo on and pulled her to him. “Now you can scream my name all you want. No one but me will hear you.”

“I enjoy makin’ love with you, Vin, and I don’t scream.”

“Yes, you do. Shall I prove it?” He began to unbutton her shirt or rather one of his she was wearing, and leaned down to nuzzle her neck. “Black lace and thongs are fine, but I love seein’ you in my shirt…sexy as hell.” His mouth settled firmly on hers while his hand cupped one of her breasts. Never one to do anything half measure, his kiss was deep, satisfying, and thorough, sending shivers of delight over her.

Kelli lifted her head and grinned. “You, Mister Tanner, are a bad, bad boy.”

“Yep, and you love it.”

She breathed in his masculine scent and reveled in the mingled aroma of saddle leather and a whiff of the fresh outdoors, which clung to his clothes. When he kissed her, she could taste coffee, strong and sweet with a light touch of cream to make it smooth…like him. She loved him beyond reason; he was her strength and anchor in life. He was also her greatest weakness… but, if she had to have an addiction, she could not think of a more rewarding one.

“Vin…” she sucked in her breath when his hands caressed her hips, and tugged down her shorts before returning his attention to her breasts.

“Ssshhh,” he whispered, slipping the shirt off her shoulders, “your Texas Cowboy is gonna take good care of you.” Lifting her into his arms, he carried her to their bed, laid her down, and began to strip out of his clothes.  A few snaps and he shucked off his shirt, exposing taut muscles and broad shoulders. He reached for his belt buckle, unclasped it and grinned at his wife, intending to tease her for a while.

Kelli rose to her knees for a better view and enjoyed watching him undress for her. She shuddered from the electric pulse throbbing deep inside her loins, while she watched him pull off his shirt and unbuckle his belt, little by little gliding it through the loops. Taking his time, he toed off his boots, tossed them across the room, and then stepped out of his jeans. At last, he stood before her in all his naked glory, his swollen manhood standing proud, and ready for action.

Their eyes met and hers emitted the same smoldering desire he was certain matched his. Gently pushing her back, he covered her body with his. He suckled at her breast while his fingers sought out her moist center, not at all surprised to find her wet and ready to receive him.

She moaned and arched her body. Mutual passion consumed them and she screamed out his name, “Vin!”

Trailing his other hand though her red tresses, he smiled. She was his fire and he damn well intended to keep her burning for the rest of their lives. He devoured her mouth with a deep, zealous kiss to capture her cries of pleasure. Then he entered her quickly and buried himself inside the woman who claimed his heart and soul. Her gasp of delight fanned the flames of his passion. Lost in their desires, they reaffirmed the love that brought them together and delivered them safe and sound from the fires of hell.

Chapter 3

Thunder rumbling in the distance more often than not indicates rain is on the way. Alas, it does not elucidate the strength or severity of the impending storm.

Larabee Home

Nettie Wells stood in his kitchen preparing breakfast when Chris returned from his morning ride. He had not taken the time to eat before he took off earlier. The smell of hot biscuits, scrambled eggs, and frying bacon made his mouth water. “Nettie you are an angel.”

“Not an angel, just an old woman who knows a man needs a good meal before he puts in a day’s work.” She set a plate full of food on the table for him. “I expect the rest of your band of brothers will be here soon to help, so I made plenty.”

Chris washed up and sat down to enjoy the breakfast feast Nettie had prepared. “Josiah and Nathan will be here in a bit to fire up the grill. Vin, Buck, JD, and Ezra are in charge of setting up the tables and chairs. The rest of the clan will be here about noon.”

She sat down with a cup of tea and took a deep breath. “JD may be late…he and Casey are fighting… again.”

Chris frowned and looked up mid-bite. He placed his fork down on the plate and sat back. “What’s going on with those two?”  He sighed in frustration. “I thought they were getting along better since JJ was born.”

Nettie’s hand trembled as she sipped at her tea. “To be honest, I’m more than a little concerned. Since the accident, JJ’s premature birth, and the hysterectomy, Casey's emotions run all over the place. When she disappeared, and then resurfaced without an explanation, it affected JD far more than he would ever admit...even to Buck. When Casey decided to talk to her doctor about her problems, she was like her old self for a while. Whatever meds the doctor put her on were working and the children for the most part, were unaffected...”                     

Chris sensed a 'but' and waited patiently as the woman he had grown fond of over the years, struggled to decide how much she could share.

“...but, the past few weeks her moods are all over the place. Sometimes she seems...distracted. At first, I thought nothing of it, we all have moments where we drift, but I came into their bedroom the other day to find JJ alone, lying on his changing table. Lord, Chris...if he'd wriggled a little more, he could have ...”

Chris placed a comforting hand over hers. “Where was Casey?”

“Showering, and when I spoke to her, she stared at me as if I was crazy, told me I must have moved him.” She shook her head. “I probably should have told JD, but I didn’t. That evening, they had a terrible argument about her not wanting to go back to work. JD did everything to prevent things from escalating, but it was clear that Casey was up for a fight. Later I found him holding her, in the living room, comforting her. They've been fine since, except for the last day or so. I think perhaps I should talk to someone, maybe Cait, or Josiah, get their thoughts.”                                                                                                                              

Josiah and Nathan walked in, interrupting their conversation.

“Did I hear you mention Casey?” Nathan asked.

“Yes, we were discussing why JD might not be here early to help.” Reluctant to share Nettie’s confidences, Chris only said, “He and Casey are having a….”

“Fight,” Nathan finished for him. “Daisy told us how her parents argue all the time. In fact, Casey was supposed to come to our house to help get the girls ready for today, but she didn’t show up.”

Josiah read the concern on Nettie’s face. “They’re fine. Mallory is with Rain and they can manage with JJ and the girls.”

Nettie sighed, “I don’t understand that niece of mine anymore.”

“Would you like for me to talk to her?” Josiah offered. “Maybe, as someone not living with her, I can listen to what she’s saying from a different perspective.”

“If you would…I just worry about her.” Nettie silently prayed that she was making something out of nothing.

Josiah nodded as Ezra and Jesse joined them all in the kitchen.

“Good morning all. I dropped Barbara off at Reins to assist Caitlyn with a dish she was preparing and found this young man ready to come over and help,” Ezra explained. “I will of course supervise…”

“I supervise, Standish, you actually get to perform manual labor.” Chris grinned. “First though, dig in. Nettie made us breakfast and I for one intend to enjoy every bite. We’ll get to work when Buck and Vin get here.”

Twenty minutes later Buck and Vin arrived with Jason and Caleb. Nettie offered them something to eat.

“I expected you and Buck earlier,” Chris commented.

Buck chuckled. “Talk to Tanner.”

“I had somethin’ needed my attention.” Vin hugged Nettie and grabbed two biscuits, handing one to Jason. “Best biscuit you’ll ever eat, Son.” He glanced over at Chris. “We’re here now and with all this help we’ll be through in nothin’ flat, if…we get movin’.” Tanner grinned and headed out the door.

Chris picked up his plate, but Nettie took it from him, “I’ve got it in here; you’d best go and supervise this gang.”

Herding the rest of the men outside, they began the work of setting up the perfect first birthday party for Cody.

1:00 p.m.

The Jackson, Sanchez, and Dunne children arrived with Mallory and Rain. All except little JJ immediately took over the playground area under the watchful eyes of their uncles. Josiah kept the barbeque hot and the meat was close to being finished. Max and Gunny were helping Nettie with the side dishes in the kitchen when Barbara and Caitlyn arrived.

Chris left Buck talking to Nathan and met Cait halfway across the yard. “Here, let me take that.”  He took the plate of deviled eggs from her, leaning down to whisper for her ears only. “You are beautiful.”

“You look damn good yourself.” She smiled, feeling a slight flush creep up her neck. “Is everyone here?”

“Not yet. Inez is on her way with the girls, and JD and Casey aren’t here yet. Neither is Matt, and Kelli is waiting to bring Cody and the twins last. Jesse’s been a big help.”  Walking slowly, he found that he wanted to share as much with her as possible on this special day.

Cait nodded.  “I’m sure Cody will be enthralled when he gets here.” When they reached the deck, she turned and smiled. “I think I should go inside and help the other ladies.”

“I’ll …uh…put these on the table and see you in a bit.” On impulse, Chris stole a quick kiss, winked, and walked away.

Sighing, Cait watched him leave before she went up the steps to join the women in the kitchen.

Buck grinned when Chris returned. “Something you want to tell us, Stud?”

“No,” Chris answered and then nodded toward the driveway. “Our girls are here.”  Going out to meet them, he was able to catch Grace in mid air as she jumped into his arms. “Hello Sunshine.”

“Cody come, Da, me go play.” She wiggled signaling she wanted down, waved, and ran off with Sarah and Maria. Chris shook his head in wonder, only a few short months ago she would not leave his side without a major battle. Now…thanks to Cait’s help, Grace was doing great. He looked up at the house and smiled.  Come to think about it, he was doing great, too.

~~~7~~~

Riding on her father’s shoulders, Andi was excited. “Daddy, when do I get my sister?”

Vin stopped so fast, he almost dropped her. “Why do you think you’re gettin’ a sister?”

“Tracker told me and he don’t lie,” Andi stated adamantly. “He said, so it’s gotta be true.”

Silently cursing his ancestor for saying such a thing to Andi, a forgotten conversation came rushing back to Vin. *One correction, Andi is our only daughter, not our eldest.*…*Yet, Vin, only daughter yet.*. He had assumed Tracker meant another baby for him and Kelli, but what if….* we lost our girl…. don’t go there, Tanner* Sighing, he decided that being able to talk with your great, great, grandfather was both a blessing and a curse.

He lowered Andi to the ground, and crouched down in front of her. “Sugar…Tracker told us things that could happen, things he knows we have to wait for. If there is a sister… or another brother for you in our future, then we have to be patient and let fate bring her to us.”

“She’s there, but I can wait.” Andi hugged his neck. “I know you and mama will figure it out.” She took off to play with the other kids leaving her father standing there with a perplexed look on his face, thinking about the possibilities.

“Problems?” Chris walked up to stand beside him.

“Not with you,” Vin exhaled, “with Tracker. Hell, the man’s been dead almost a hundred years and he’s still stirrin’ up trouble.”

Chris chuckled. “That seems to be a common trait with Tanners.”

“I…,” Vin started to explain but JD and Casey drove up behind them, “I’ll tell you later.”

Casey exited the truck and stomped off to join the others. JD stared after her, and then with shoulders slumped, walked over to Chris and Vin. “Sorry, I wasn’t here earlier to help.  We…uh…”

Chris threw his arm around JD’s shoulders. “No need to explain. You’re here now and that’s what counts.”  He noted Matt and Katrina’s arrival, but stayed with JD while they joined the others up by the house. “All we need now is the birthday boy and we’re ready to party.”

JD nodded. “I promise I’ll stay and help take the tables down.”

“You do what you need to do, Kid,” Vin told him. “Walter, Jesse, Caleb, and Jason joined the set up team today and we’ll manage.” He placed his hand on his young brother’s other shoulder, lowering his voice as his eyes met JD’s. “If you need us we’re here.”

JD made an effort to smile, despite the fact that Casey had walked past the girls and JJ without stopping. “Thanks, I guess I should go check on my kids. “JD nodded to his brothers. “I appreciate you understanding.”

“Sure thing,” Chris assured him, “anytime.” Watching JD walk away, it stuck him how weary JD appeared. “You think he’s okay, Vin?”

“No, but I reckon he knows he can come to any of us twenty- four-seven when he’s ready to talk.” Vin turned his attention to the Navigator pulling in. “Your birthday boy has arrived.”

Chris hurried over to the truck, opened the back door, unlatched the straps, and lifted Cody from his car seat. He had only been gone overnight, but it seemed much longer. Despite the fact that he treasured the night he had spent with Cait, he was glad to have Cody and Grace home. Somehow, he would find a way to include all of them in his life.

“Thanks, Kel, for taking care of him and Grace.”

“No problem, Dad,” she said taking Trey from Vin while he reached inside for Bren. “I love spendin’ time with my baby brother and sister.”

“Since everyone is here. What do you say we get this party started?” Vin placed one hand on Kelli’s back and kept a firm hold on Bren with the other.

“Let’s do it.”

3:00 p.m.

Everyone filled up on barbeque, sprawled out across the lawn, and watched Chris help Cody unwrap his presents. The baby seemed to be more interested in the paper and boxes than the actual gifts, but he was smiling. Grace played with the doll her daddy gave her, and the other kids were on the playground or napping.

Casey and Caitlyn’s quiet conversation had turned animated and heated. Standing up abruptly, Casey announced. “We have to go home. Nettie, you can bring the children when you come.”

“Anytime you are ready to come back to work, Reins has a place for you, Casey, even if it’s part-time.” Caitlyn reminded her, hoping she would think about the offer when she calmed down.

“NO…I need to be at home. Find someone else.”  Casey shouted, and then softened her voice. “I do appreciate it, but…no…just…no.” She took off toward their truck.

JD took JJ from Inez, saying softly, “Thanks for watching him.” He looked over to Nettie. “I know you’ve been working all day, if …”

“You go on, son, tend to JJ and Casey. I’ll bring the girls home directly,” Nettie said. “Go on. I can handle two little girls.”

“Yes ma’am.” Embarrassed by his wife’s behavior, JD expected to read reproach on his family’s faces, instead he saw concern and support. Unable to speak, he simply nodded, carried JJ to the truck, and took Casey home.

Chris watched them leave, making a mental note to speak to JD sometime soon. He cast a quick glance at Buck as if to reassure the man, who without a doubt was worried about their youngest brother, then broke the silence their departure left by rubbing his hands together and announcing, “Time for cake and ice cream.”

Within the hour, the cake was history, parents had cleaned up their children, and the party was over.  Walter, Nathan, Vin, Buck, and Ezra began taking down table with Jesse, Jason and Caleb’s help. Josiah cleaned the grill, and the women put the leftover food in the refrigerator, while Chris and Matt stood guard over the kids in the play yard.

Matt took the opportunity to speak with Chris in private. “I hate to put a damper on the festivities, but I thought you should know…Linda called me.”

Chris stopped breathing for a moment, and then inhaled deeply before asking, “About Cody’s birthday?”               

“No, she didn’t mention his birthday.” Matt hesitated, before continuing, “She’s engaged to a man who is supposedly rich, well connected to powerful people and according to my private investigators just plain bad news.” He pulled an envelope from his pocket and handed it to Chris. “This is a copy of his background report, use it or lose it, your choice. My goal is to protect my sister if possible as well as my niece and nephew.”

“Appreciate it Matt,” Chris pocketed the envelope, “but why are you worried about Grace and Cody?”

Matt hesitated for a moment before answering. “From what Linda has told me they are talking about having children.”

“Is he aware that Linda can’t have anymore?” Chris was afraid to hear the answer.

“Yes, but… Hell, I wasn’t supposed to warn you, but I think you should know what my dear sister is planning. Chris, she’s coming to Denver and wants to have her parental rights restored by the courts and then take custody of Grace and Cody.”

“Over my dead body,” Chris stated adamantly. “There’s no way in hell Linda will get her hands on my babies. She’s done enough damage by walking out on them already.”

Matt nodded. “I agree and whatever you need me to do, I’m willing.”

“Thanks, Matt; I hope I can keep you out of the middle of our problems. Let me know when she arrives and I’ll handle Linda.” Chris was certain he stood on solid legal ground about custody, but Linda never let what was legal or right, stop her when she wanted something. On the other hand, he never backed down from a fight and if that was what it took to protect his children, he was damned well ready for one.

Chapter 4

If It's gonna rain … let the storm start … the sky is heavy and it feels like the winds are gonna change.

Reins of Change ~ Monday, May 26

Grace kissed her daddy goodbye and ran inside the daycare. Chris waited until she was out of sight before drawing Cait closer to him. “Good morning, beautiful lady.”

“Morning to you to,” Cait smiled. “Has Cody recuperated from the excitement of the party?”

“He slept like a rock, but when I dropped him off with Max, he was chomping at the bit to go and play with the twins. Dottie will be in this afternoon and  she’llpick him up from the Tanner’s.” He leaned down to kiss her. “I missed you last night.”

She looked into his eyes. “I missed you too…but, Chris, what are we doing?  I mean do we stay quiet about…” Cait was reluctant to give what they had a name, yet.

“Us?”  He grinned. “We are an ‘us’, whether we planned it or not and in case you didn’t notice yesterday, I’m not exactly hiding our relationship from my family.”

Cait nodded. “I noticed, and so did Jesse. He hasn’t said anything, but I do know he likes you a lot and I want to make certain we’re sending the right message to him.”

“I hope we are, because what we do have is special,” he answered. Chris understood her concerns, Caitlyn Broderick might be wild in his arms, but she was conservative by nature. She was straightforward, down to earth, compassionate, and generous to a fault. There would be no game playing with this woman and she did not mind calling him on his actions or words if she thought he was out of line. She was more like Sarah in temperament and personality, the complete opposite of Linda. She was definitely not a one-night stand he could forget or act as though they had not been lovers. He wanted to spend more nights with her, yet… was he ready to say he loved her, and commit to another long-term relationship? To be honest, he did not have an answer yet.

“Cait, I do want you in my life, but as much as I would love to stand here and tell you we have some kind of future together, I can’t, at least not now. Matt told me yesterday Linda is coming to Denver and she wants to challenge me for custody of our children. I have to resolve things with her, before I can even begin to think about …more.”

A knot tightened in her stomach when she considered even the possibility that Chris might lose Grace and Cody. Losing his children would destroy him. “I understand, and I don’t plan on going anywhere. If I can do anything to help, please let me.”

Her offer warmed his heart. “You are an extraordinary woman, Doctor Broderick.” Chris shook his head. “I just don’t understand how a woman can be so callous and think only of her own selfish needs without giving any thought to how it affects her children. Linda has not even tried to see Grace or Cody in a year’s time, no phone calls, no letters…nothing. Now she‘s supposedly engaged to a man who wants children and it’s convenient for her to play mom.  How do I protect my kids from a mother like that?”

“You do what you are doing. Love them, fight to keep them safe and secure, and ask for help when needed.” Cait was pleased that Chris was sharing this with her, instead of shutting her out. “Talk to your lawyer and be prepared. Grace is safe here at Reins, and I promise you I will watch her like an old mother hen.” She laughed. “As for Cody, I dare anyone to mess with Max or Dottie, trying to get to him.”

“You’re right. I told Walter not to let Linda on the property if she comes here.” Chris kissed her again, a long lingering kiss that told her he cared. “Thank you for being you.” Looking at the time, he sighed. “I have to go, but I’ll call you later.”

Cait watched him leave. She was glad he was honest with her, it was one of the reasons she loved him. Chris never said anything to make things easier. He was a man who valued his word and did not make excuses. She knew he cared for her and given time, he would come to realize he needed her in his life. Time was something she could give him. After all, she had waited twenty years to find a man who made her feel loved again.

MCAT Office ~ 1:00 p.m.

Chris spent most of the morning at the training center, reviewing the test scores for the Bravo and Charlie teams. The spirit of competition appeared to be alive and well between the two MCAT units. However, Captains Justin Michaels and Sam Cain were both strong leaders and Chris was certain the friendly rivalry between the Denver and San Antonio teams would not get out of hand.

He passed Ezra’s desk and motioned for him to follow as he made his way up the stairs to his new office. It still seemed strange not to be closer to Alpha team, but Travis insisted that his office and Chris’s should be separate from the units. Vin took over Chris’s old office and Kelli had been assigned one between Director Travis and Assistant Director Larabee, since technically she worked for both of them, although Orrin kept her busy most of the time.

“Close the door and sit down, Ezra.” Chris instructed him. “I need your help.”

Ezra sat down opposite to Chris. “In which matters do you require my assistance?”

“Linda is coming back to Denver and wants to make a challenge for the kids. Tell me I have nothing to worry about.”

A chill ran down his spine. Although he had hoped this day would not come, his experience with his own mother kept him from being surprised. “You are on solid legal footing, however…” Ezra hated to say it. “If she chooses to do so, she can stir up a hell of a mess and cost you a small fortune proving your rights in court.”

Closing his eyes, Chris tried to control the fear that Ezra’s words caused to churn in his stomach. “You tell me what I need to do.”

“With your permission I would like to speak with Robert Eaves, an attorney friend of Barbara’s. He specializes in child custody cases, and his experience far exceeds mine. I will, of course, have to give him all the information you have in regards to Linda’s impending arrival.”

Chris nodded and proceeded to repeat Matt’s conversation from yesterday.

Ezra stood. “Try not to worry, I will contact Robert ASAP, but I am certain the papers Linda signed will hold up in court. Let’s hope things stay peaceful and quiet on Larabee 7 while she is in Denver, no need to give her ammunition to fire back at you.”

Chris waited until Ezra walked out the door and then leaned back in his chair. They could manage peaceful and quiet for a week or two at least. Couldn’t they?

~~~7~~~

Later, a noise from the bullpen caught Chris's attention as he came down from his office. Chris grinned at the three-man Nerf-ball tournament, taking place between Vin, Buck, and JD. It was good to hear JD chuckling and Chris had missed that huge grin of his. It was clear that something good happened after JD and Casey left his home yesterday evening, but Chris still intended to talk to the young man later.

“Keep it down to a dull roar, guys.”

Knowing that was Chris's way of accepting a bit of horseplay, they continued for a little longer, finally breaking off to get some coffee. It felt good to have some office downtime; it was a rare thing these days.

Buck smiled as he watched Vin and JD rifling through a box of donuts, fighting over the last jelly one. Vin conceded, and Buck was convinced he did it, for the same reason he was grinning like a loon, now. It was good to see JD laughing and joking around. He had not been doing much of that recently. With a nod from Vin as he left munching an iced donut, Buck sipped his coffee and stood next to his little brother.

“Everything okay at home, kid?”

JD smiled and nodded, taking a seat on the couch next to the window. “Yeah, thanks, I think it finally is. Casey and me had a talk last night; I think we've turned a corner, Buck.”

Buck squeezed the younger man's shoulder. “That's good news, son, but don't forget, I'm always here for you, and so are the others.”

JD smiled and nodded. “I appreciate the offer, and I would kinda like to talk to you sometime soon, if you don't mind.”                                                                                                                                                                           

The brunet bobbed his head. “Absolutely, you just say the word kid and I'm here for you.”

Watching Buck exit the break room, JD looked out of the window, his thoughts drifting to last night.

Wells’ Property Previous Evening

They made the trip home from Chris's in unbearable silence. While JJ slumbered in his car seat, blissfully unaware of the turmoil his parents were going through, JD's mind was racing as he tried to second-guess his distraught wife, yet again, glancing at her occasionally to see her staring out of the passenger window. Pulling into their driveway, JD sighed as Casey stormed out of the car and into the house. He carefully unbuckled JJ, smiling at the little noise the infant produced when he was disturbed, then, slinging the diaper bag over his shoulder, he settled the little one to rest on his shoulder and followed Casey inside.

Ignoring her slumped form on the sofa, JD continued into the bedroom, returning ten minutes later after settling the baby for a nap. He walked into the kitchen and switched on the kettle.

“Coffee?”

Casey took a few seconds to answer, but finally turned to him and nodded. By the time he placed the cup on the table in front of her, she was ready to talk. “I can't believe Cait showed me up like that. I thought she was my friend.”

JD sighed. “All Cait did was ask if you were ready to come back to work, it was how you reacted that showed you up.”

Casey huffed. “Dear God…you're so obsessed with your family, you're even defending Chris's newest conquest. I thought she had more sense than to climb between the sheets with a Larabee.”

Staring at her, he shook his head. “What is wrong with you? Cait is sweet and funny. Chris needs someone like her in his life. He's been a fucking saint this past year. It’s about time he had someone to care about him. What’s more, Cait has been a good friend to you, and if that's how you talk about your friends, you're more of a bitch than I took you for.” His words surprised him, but he'd had enough. No more 'mister nice guy', it was time to put the children, Nettie, and him first for a change. JD stood and walked back into the kitchen.

“JD.”

Weary from the events of the day, he looked back at her standing in the middle of the living room.

“You're right, I'm sorry.”

“Case, what the hell are we doing to us?”  He took her hand and pulled her down to sit next to him on the couch. “We have a good life together, maybe not extraordinarily exciting, but I thought we were happy.”

Casey jumped up and began to pace. “We were…are…” She shook her head. “I don’t know anymore. We’ve never not been an us….You…me…we…Why did we get married? Was it because we really belong together, or more what we expected to happen? Could either of us make it without the other or without Aunt Nettie’s help? What do we really know about being tested? Would we be stronger or weaker if we had half the challenges other couples we know have had?”

“Are you saying you don’t want to be married to me?”

“No…no…I…I’m just rambling. Don’t pay any attention to what I said. I didn’t mean any of it.” She stopped her rant and turned on him. “Maybe if you were home more I wouldn’t have these thoughts. I…I’m sorry I’ve been difficult.”

JD swallowed the lump in his throat. “I wish I could believe you.” He watched her drop her head and go to the bedroom, then looked up at the ceiling to stop the tears forming in his eyes, from rolling down his cheeks. Hell, he knew the past couple of months had been hard for her. First their wreck, a premature delivery, and then an emergency hysterectomy, but the doctor had her on hormone supplements and for a while she was better. Now…she was back to being a bitch and unpredictable. After a few minutes, he pulled out his laptop and sat on a stool at the kitchen counter. He hoped work could take his mind off his troubles.

Much later, a warm hand on his head roused him from his sleep as he rested his head on his arms on the countertop. Still half-asleep, JD looked up to see Nettie. “You should go to bed.”

He smiled. “Where are the girls?”

“Buck took them home with him for the night. I'm picking them up in the morning. I am going to put JJ in with me for tonight. Go get some sleep.” She kissed him on the head and went into JD and Casey's bedroom, returning with the baby in her arms, intending to put him in the port-a-crib for the night. “Casey is asleep. I suggest you get some, too, son.”

Bidding her goodnight, he cleared the coffee mugs and closed down his laptop. He rinsed the mugs under the faucet, and then shuddered when a hand reached under his shirt to stroke his abdomen. Turning, he gazed into sexy, chocolate brown eyes that oozed seduction. He gasped. “Casey!”

The baby-doll negligee she was wearing left nothing to the imagination, breasts showing through the delicate black chiffon and the hemline aligned with Casey's dark mound of curls just above milky-white thighs.

“Case, Nettie's just…”

Pushing him back against the sink, she captured his mouth, and deepened the kiss as she moaned, taking his hand to rest it on her bare ass. Despite everything, JD loved this woman with all his heart. Their sex-life had been good, but recently lacked the intimacy they had shared over the years. He squeezed her ass, and returned her kisses, savoring the feel of her delicate hand roaming under his shirt, stroking and caressing him, lost in the moment as their love came to the fore and their passion increased.

Suddenly, he grabbed her hand, pulling back. “Casey…I want you…God *knows*, I want you, but we need to talk.”

Casey spoke, her warm breath tickling his face as she looked into his eyes. “I know. I have no excuse for my behavior, it's disgraceful and I'm ashamed of how I treat you all. I'm trying, JD, and you know I'm getting there. Josiah offered to talk to me. I said no, but…maybe I should. What do you think?”

“I'd like that, Case. Josiah's a wonderful counselor.” He was right in her face and before he realized, he was kissing her warm, full lips, his hands reached for her breasts, cupping and massaging first one, then the other. Casey arched into him.

“I want to make love to you, JD.” She took his hand and guided him into the bedroom, her hips swaying while her round firm ass peeped from beneath the negligee to taunt him while she walked.

Once in the bedroom, Casey insisted she strip him, her elegant fingers tweaking and stroking him to fullness. “Lay down.” He obliged, quivering as she kissed and licked his body, taking her time before encircling his swollen manhood with her lips.

JD ached to touch her, but she would have none of it, and released him to straddle his hips. He shuddered when her dampness rubbed across his belly as she slid down him, raising herself just enough to take him deep inside her. They both groaned and she rocked her need increasing. She thrilled at the fullness and the warm body grinding into her. She took his hands and guided them to her plunging neckline.

“Rip it.”

Despite being close to the edge, JD looked at her. “What?”

“Rip it from me…do it…do it now!” As if to encourage him, she doubled her efforts, the resulting shockwave causing his fists to clench the material, tearing her negligee off her to free her breasts

She squealed and rocked harder, JD raising his hips in an effort to penetrate as deep as possible. Warm juices soaked him while she cried out through her orgasm, his following moments behind, writhing together through their euphoria.

Lying down on his chest, Casey sobbed softly, nuzzling him, before falling asleep.

MCAT Office ~ Present Time

JD smiled to himself as he sipped at his cooling coffee. They had slept in and he had almost been late for work, so he barely had a chance to speak to Casey this morning, but he'd had a warm kiss goodbye.

“Agent Dunne,” Vin yelled for the third time. “Are you still with us?”

“What…yeah…sorry I didn’t hear you.”

“Damn, Kid I thought you’d left us.” Vin smiled. “I hate to do this to you, but I just got a call from the DOJ. They’re havin’ problems with the witness protection program you designed for ‘em. They request your presence at the Federal Buildin’ ASAP.”

Sighing JD shook his head. “I swear no one at the DOJ knows anything about computers.” He made a mental note to pick up flowers on his way home.

“You’ll get no argument from me on that, but you still have to go.”

“Hell, I’ll be there half the night, but I’m going.” JD’s mood plunged. He knew it would be a late night and Casey would not be happy about it. Stopping at his desk, he called home, receiving the answering machine. “Case, I’ll probably be late. The Feds insist I show up at the Federal Building, and you know how that goes….love you, bye.” He grabbed his keys and walked out the door.

Standing beside the phone in the bedroom, Casey heard the message and felt a cold shiver run down her spine. It was happening again. She began talking to herself, picked up the nightie on the chair and walked into the master bath. She turned the water on, and entered the shower fully dressed, leaned against the wall and slid to the floor of the tub. Curled up in the corner, she clutched the torn negligee to her chest. Water rained down on her while she rocked back and forth, muttering repeatedly, “They took him again….they took him again...”

Chapter 5

The passion of old is a children's quick game. Now it's the sound of the thunder and feel of the flames.
*Fire of the Newly Arrived ~Rosanne Cash

Wells’ Ranch ~9:45 p.m.

“Hello! Where is everyone?”

The place was quiet as JD placed his keys and cell on the entry table. He wandered toward the twins' room, and peeked inside; disappointed that they were asleep. He checked his watch and sighed, it was late. Closing the door in silence, JD went into his own bedroom, crossed the room, unclipped his holster, and removed his service weapon, along with the second gun he had strapped to his ankle. He opened the safe, placed them inside, closed the door, and spun the combination lock. Glancing around the room, he yawned and stretched before he walked toward the crib.

“Hello there, baby boy,” he whispered, smiling down at his sleeping son. The girls were the light of his life, but this little one fulfilled him in a way he did not believe was possible. With a feather light touch, he trailed a finger over the infant’s cheek and bent down to kiss his forehead.

He had come so close to losing Jarrod John Bucklin Dunne, and his mama. He recalled the car accident that trapped him and Casey for hours, her early labor coming on, and then having to deliver little JJ himself. Lord, he was so small when he made his appearance. Finally rescued, they made a mad rush to the hospital. Casey hemorrhaged, needing emergency surgery while they took his son to NICU, where he stayed for weeks.

A noise from the back of the house drew his attention. Without making a sound, he exited the bedroom, and moved down the hall to the kitchen, smiling as he caught sight of Casey chopping vegetables at the counter.

“Hey babe, sorry I'm later than I promised, work's been insane today.” Embracing her from behind, he nuzzled at her neck while he reached around her to caress her breasts.

She let out a strangled sound, paled and stopped cutting. “W…what are you doing here?”

Releasing her immediately, he raised his hands, moving a short distance away from her. “Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,” he laughed, “but, unless you're trying to tell me something, I live here.” She resumed chopping vegetables, adding them to the large pile she had accumulated. When she did not respond to his attempt at humor, he added, “What was dinner? I'm starving and I’ll take leftovers.”

She remained silent.

Glancing over at her, he tilted his head. “Aww babe, things are a little off right now, but we made progress last night. Can we just put everything else aside for tonight…please?”

The next few seconds became a blur. Casey tightened her grip on the large knife in her hand, glared at JD with a burning hatred in her eyes and flew at him, screaming like a wild banshee. “I warned you! Get out of our house…Get out!”

JD had no time to react to her screams before a sharp blow to his side took his breath, his knees went weak, and blood began to pour from a gaping wound. Casey slashed at him again; another forceful blow to his abdomen dropped him to the floor, his legs convulsed while pain surged through him. He looked up at his wife to see the blade in her hand dripping with his blood and he fought through his rapid, shallow breathing to whisper her name.

“C…Casey…?”

Everything moved in slow motion and a haze settled over his vision. She moved closer and growled in his face, “You won't hurt us again…you hear me? Never again!”

Shaking violently, JD curled in on himself as his hand sought out the wound. Before he could do anything to stop the blood flow, he passed out.

~~~7~~~

Nettie heard what sounded like Casey screaming. She threw her book aside and left her bed in a rush. Putting on her robe, she made her way to the kitchen expecting to find Casey and JD fighting again. Instead, her niece stood silently at the counter staring at something on the floor. Nettie followed Casey's line of vision and gasped, her hand going to her mouth as her heart and stomach lurched. Lying in a pool of his own blood was JD.

“Oh dear God!”

Grabbing several dishtowels, the older women dropped to the floor, applying pressure to his wounds. She pushed back sweat-soaked hair from his slack face, and checked his neck for a pulse. Relief flooded over her when she found one.

“Casey…what happened?” She demanded, desperate to control her fear.

She looked up when she did not get a response “Are you injured too? Talk to me child!”  Silence met her demands.

After jamming the towels between JD's wound and the floor, Nettie rose to grab the kitchen phone on the countertop, dialing 9-1-1 and relaying her distress call. She wanted to call Chris, but JD's need was too urgent. Instead she sought out more towels and went back to help him.

“Casey…answer me, what happened?” Nettie was close to frantic. JD was unconscious and bleeding. Casey simply stood there, staring and unresponsive… blood splatters covered her. Was she hurt? Was there someone else still in the house? Her blood raced as now she feared for the children. Then she saw it, just before it clattered to the floor from Casey's now lax fingers…the bloody knife. Vaguely aware of her movements, she looked down at her aunt with no recognition or emotion in her eyes.

Realization began to sink in and with her fear mounting for JD and Casey, Nettie whispered, “Sweet Jesus, no.”

Larabee 7

When the phone rang at this time of night, Walter expected bad news. He listened intently, acknowledged the message, and replaced the receiver before he rolled out of bed.

Fully awake now, Max asked, “What is it?”

“Got a call from the gate, an ambulance passed runnin’ full lights and siren headed to the Wells’ property.”

Max bolted upright, “You go, I'll call Chris.”

~~~7~~~

The children were asleep and Chris was ready for bed, after talking with Cait for the past hour. When the phone rang shortly after he hung it up, he silently cursed the intrusion and said a silent prayer that it was not work related.

“Larabee,” he growled into the phone. “Max… What…? Okay, call Vin and Buck. Tell them to meet me at JD's. There’s no point in worrying anyone else until we’re certain about what's happened. Thanks.”  Within a few minutes, he dressed, informed Dottie he was leaving, and was out of the door, on his way to the Wells’ ranch.

Wilmington Home

Inez stood by the kitchen door watching her husband. Buck had papers spread out over the table and was deep in thought. “You have eight weeks to complete your plans, dear. You don’t have to finish tonight.”

“Eight weeks is no time at all. I want this rodeo to be the best event these kids have ever seen.” Buck leaned back in his chair. “Besides, Chris put me in charge and I do not plan to let him or the kids down.”

She sat down next to him. “Is it coming together like you want?”

“It will. Vin and Chris are taking care of the stock. Ezra and Nathan are coordinating with the vendors and Josiah is organizing the youth group on the west end. JD‘s taken on the advertising and Matt has spread the word to other ranches in the area. We’ll have more help and contestants than we know what to do with, plus make a ton of money for Reins, and the youth center.”

“Those kids got to you didn’t they?’” She already knew the answer, but loved to watch her husband’s eyes light up when he talked about ‘his’ kids at the new youth center.

“Yeah, they did.  I….” The ring of the phone stopped him. “I got it.” Buck pushed away from the table and grabbed the receiver. “Wilmington here… it’s your quarter.” He listened for a moment, mumbled a reply, and slammed down the phone. “An ambulance was called to the Wells’ place. I’m going over to meet Chris.”

Inez followed him to the door. “Call me when you…”

“I will, babe, take care of our babies.” He leaned down, kissed her, and then disappeared into the night.

Tanner Home

“The boys are down for the count.” Vin walked onto the porch and sat next to his wife. “I love our kids, but it’s nice when they all decide to sleep at the same time.”

Kelli handed him a glass of tea. “I’ve been thinkin’ about our planned trip to Texas. Fifteen hundred miles, in a truck with four kids… you reckon we’ll survive?”

“I’m seriously considerin’ we should take Wyatt up on his offer. He said he could arrange a private flight to San Antonio and have motor home waiting on us, for the last leg of the trip. Less wear and tear on the nerves,” Vin laughed as he reached to answer the portable phone. “Tanner…right….we’ll be ready when you get here. Thanks.”

Alarmed by the changed expression that came over him, Kelli asked, “Vin?”

“Unknown trouble at JD’s. Max and Walter are on their way over to sit with the kids.”

They went inside, and changed clothes quickly. Kelli refrained from commenting when Vin passed her gun to her from the safe as he retrieved his. He may not know what the trouble was, but Vin Tanner firmly believed in preparing for anything.

Wells’ Ranch

Chris swallowed hard at the sight of the ambulance parked outside the Dunne’s home. His first fear was for Nettie, she was a strong woman, but age had been sneaking up on her and her health was foremost in his mind. He switched off his engine, hurried out of the truck, and in through the door within moments.

Feeling a split second of relief when he saw Nettie, his eyes caught sight of the crimson splatters on Casey’s blouse, and the paramedic working earnestly on JD in the kitchen. The unmistakable coppery smell of blood assaulted his senses. His mouth went dry and he licked his lips. “What the hell's going on?”

Nettie looked up at him; her expression leaving no room for misunderstandings…this was not the time for explanations. He bypassed the two women, rushed into the kitchen, and crouched down beside his injured brother. He stroked JD's head while trying to comprehend the scene before him. Chris voiced his question to the paramedics.

“How bad?”

One of them shook his head. “Not sure, we need to get him to hospital, he's lost a copious amount of blood, and his stats are falling.”

“JD?” Buck's voice cut through the tension when he rushed into the room and joined Larabee on the floor.

When Vin entered with Kelli, Chris stood to meet them. He spoke first to his daughter, “Nettie needs help.” Once she left the room, his worried gaze settled on Tanner.

“I’m going to the hospital. I need you to secure the area as a crime scene. Are you up to taking over here?”

Vin glanced at Nettie, her tear filled eyes and protective hold on Casey, spoke volumes. “Don’t reckon I have much choice do I?”

Chris scanned the room. “I need to know what happened ASAP and Buck’s in no condition to help…’

“Do what you have to…I... we’ll handle it.*

Chris nodded; Buck’s distraught voice drew his attention.

“Kid…can ya hear me? Come on, son…stay with me…you're gonna be fine.” Buck stroked JD's hair as he spoke, trying desperately to ignore the blood surrounding his younger brother.

A paramedic touched the big man's shoulder. “We have to go.”

Casey made no move to leave the safety of her aunt's embrace. With a nod from Chris, Buck rose to accompany the paramedics, and in seconds, they were on their way to the hospital.

At a loss for the right words to say, Chris knelt down in front of Nettie. “You realize we have to go over what happened here.”

Feeling years older and suddenly very tired, Nettie sighed. In a voice barely above a whisper she said, “I know.” She tightened her hold on Casey.

“I’m going to the hospital.” Chris looked at Vin who was staring at Nettie. “Vin will stay here. He’s in charge of the investigation.” He patted her hand. “I’ll call as soon as I know about JD.”

She nodded through tear-filled eyes.

~~~7~~~

The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever, but it was actually less than twenty minutes. Buck clung to JD's cold hand, as if willing his energy into him. The young agent was ashen, even his lips, causing his damp, dark hair to stand out as it clung to his face. Buck instinctively brushed the hair back.

“What happened to you, boy? Who did this?”  A knowing glance from the paramedic in attendance met his whispered words, but Buck’s focus on JD was so intense, he missed it. Just as the driver announced their arrival, the paramedic in back leapt forward as an alarm sounded. All Buck could do was sit and watch as the ambulance lurched to a halt and the doors flew open. The paramedic with them straddled JD's torso and began pumping on his chest.

“He’s crashing, code Blue… Code Blue!

The team now at the ambulance doors pulled the gurney out and rolled it quickly toward the ER while the medic continued pumping. Unable to move for shock, Buck sat and stared after them, not stirring until a nurse stepped into the ambulance and, speaking softly, guided him to where they had taken JD.

Buck was relieved when Chris walked into the waiting room a few minutes later. He stopped pacing and approached him.

“How is he?” Chris asked.

Buck stopped in front of him. Chris instantly noted the man's trembling features.

“He…he died, Chris…right in front of me…just…just gave up.”

Larabee grabbed Buck's arms, fear gripping his heart. “What are you saying?”

Buck released a soft sob. “They got him back…but…” he looked tearfully at the man he had known all his adult life. …”why would JD just give up like that? He's not a quitter Chris…What the hell happened that would make him stop fighting?”

Larabee swallowed hard, not wanting to give voice to the ugliness of what he feared was the truth. “We'll talk later…but for now, let's just concentrate on JD, okay? Ezra and Nathan are on their way. Josiah's gone to Nettie's to help Vin and Kelli.”

Buck frowned as something dawned on him. “Where's Casey? Why isn't she with you? Is she on her way? Oh God, is she hurt too? What about the babies!”

Chris squeezed the brunet's arms. “Later…okay? Everything’s in hand. Once we have some news, we'll talk, I promise. JD *is* strong, Buck, he won't give up on us... Damnit man, we brought him this far…we're not letting go of him yet.”

With a nod from Buck, Chris guided him to the chairs and they sat down. Chris closed his eyes, *God, what a fucking mess.*

Chapter 6

Our hold on sanity is sometimes fragile in the best of times, but under surreal circumstances.
it hangs entirely on a thread of faith.

Vin’s trained eyes read the scene, while his heart refused to believe the obvious. Over the years, he had learned to expect the unexpected in law enforcement and never make assumptions, but...this was beyond understanding. This type of thing happened to other people, not his family. Knowing he needed to get beyond the emotions raging inside him, he called on the self- discipline he became skilled at during his time with in the Rangers, and did what he had to do. He knelt down and bagged the bloody knife for evidence.

Kelli stood inside the doorway, her mind refused to register the evidence in front of her. She spoke quietly, but her voice reached her husband’s ear, “Vin?”

She only said his name, but he heard her unasked questions. The same ones he was asking himself. Stepping around the blood, he pulled off his gloves, walked over to her, and drew her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. “I don’t have any answers, baby. I only know we’ve got a job to do, whether we want to or not.”

“So many lives are goin’ to be affected…” Hugging him tighter, she shivered. “God, how do we…?”

“We do what we’re trained to do,” he kissed the top of her head. “Forensics will be here any minute, along with Josiah. We need to question Nettie and Casey. Are you up to doin’ it?”

Kelli nodded. “You’ll probably get more from Nettie. I’ll stay with Casey while you talk to her.” She raised her head and recognized the look of torment in his eyes. “We’ll do what’s necessary and later…we’ll find a way together to move on.”

“Casey is calm now, but don’t let your guard down. If she did this, she could come at you, too,” he warned her.

“I’ll be fine, Captain Tanner.” Kelli stepped back and tried to sound professional. “You question the witness, and I’ll contain the suspect.”

Vin swallowed the lump in his throat. He understood that Kelli was trying to help him gain his perspective and it worked. “I love you, Texas,” he whispered before he entered the living room.

Nettie raised her eyes when Vin walked in. As much as she wished to hold onto this moment in time, she knew better. Altered by the events, which had transpired in the kitchen earlier, life would never be the same for her family and God help them; there would be no turning back.

“Captain Tanner,” Nettie deliberately used his title. “Perhaps we can talk in the dining room?”

“Yes ma’am,” Vin offered his hand to assist her. “Agent Coulter will sit with Casey.”

Casey reacted by clinging to her aunt. “Don’t leave me. They took JD… They handcuffed him and dragged him out...,”she began to ramble and as her words trailed off, they made less and less sense.

Kelli sat down next to her and wrapped her arm around Casey’s shoulder. “We’ll find JD for you. Maybe Nettie can help Vin look for him, okay?”

The young woman barely nodded, but did release her hold on her aunt.

Taking her arm, Vin walked with Nettie into the dining room, and pulled out a chair for her. “I’m sorry to put you through this. Can I get you anythin’ before we start? “

Placing her hand on his, she shook her head. “No call to apologize, Son. Let’s just get this over with. You have questions that need answers. Now sit down and do your job.”

Vin heard the forensic team, led by Greg Ramsey, arrive, and the baritone of Josiah’s voice as they came into the house. He knew Kelli would direct them to the kitchen. Once Josiah got a handle on the situation, he would be able to give them an idea of how to proceed with Casey.

Tanner sat down and sighed. “Nettie, I need you to tell me everythin’ you remember about what happened here tonight.”

Vin listened to the whole story and witnessed the toll answering took on Nettie. “I understand how difficult this is for you, and I wish I could make this all go away, but I can’t,” he told her. “You realize Casey will be arrested.”

“Yes,” Nettie whispered, “but she needs help, Vin. Who should I call?” Her voice trembled.

Vin loved this old woman, and owed her more than he could ever repay. His heart ached to see the anguish in Nettie’s eyes. Not only was the niece, who she had loved and cared for like a daughter since she was five-years-old, in serious trouble, the man she called son was gravely injured and lying in the hospital. “She’s gonna need an attorney. I’ll make a couple of calls and find one you can talk to about helpin’. You want me to call anyone else?”

“Caitlyn,” she nodded, “she‘s close to Casey, and I’m sure she’ll be able to help me sort some of this out.”

“Okay,” he said. Standing up, he squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll call her, but I want you to stay in here ‘til she arrives. No need for you to be in the middle of what needs to be done.”

Josiah waited for Vin to finish with Nettie, and he tilted his head toward the kitchen to indicate that Tanner should follow him. They moved away from the door and the forensics people to talk in lowered voices.

“We hear anythin’ from the hospital?” Vin asked.

“Not yet,” Josiah answered, as anxious as Vin to find out about JD’s condition. “Tell me what you found out.”

Vin nodded and began, “Nettie didn’t witness what happened, but what she said matches with the evidence we’ve seen. She said once the kids were down, Casey went into the kitchen to cut vegetables for a salad, but she thought after she finished, Casey went to her room to be with JJ.” He sighed and pointed to the counter. “That was at eight o’clock. JD did not arrive home until almost ten. Judgin’ by the amount of vegetables piled up, I reckon Casey kept cuttin’ for close to two hours. JD checks on the kids, comes in here and…for whatever reason, Casey flipped out and attacked him. Nettie heard Casey screamin’, ran in here, found him on the floor, and Casey was standin’ there with the knife in her hand.”

Sanchez agreed, “It fits with my read of the situation and after observing her with Kelli I believe she’s suffered some kind of psychotic break. We’re not going to get anything out of her that will make sense of this.”

“We have to arrest her, but maybe her lawyer can arrange for her to be held in a hospital instead of the jail.” Vin suggested. “I told Nettie I’d find her an attorney, and she asked me to call Caitlyn.” 

“We should call Barbara too. Nettie will have her hands full with Casey. With JD in the hospital and Casey under arrest, it won’t take long for CPS to start asking questions about the kids.” Josiah suggested. “We need to keep them together, if possible.” He placed his hand on Vin’s shoulder. “I’ll call Caitlyn and Barbara, you find Nettie a lawyer, and then…We’d best let Chris know what happened before we take her in.”

Josiah took only a few minutes to set Caitlyn and Barbara into action; they were both on their way. Vin called Douglas Banks, who had represented JD when Ice had him arrested, and was the best criminal attorney Vin knew. Banks agreed to meet them at the Federal building where they would be taking Casey. JD was her husband, but when she assaulted him, she also assaulted a Federal Law Enforcement Officer. Anywhere in the country, that was automatically a capital offense, with or without the victim’s cooperation. If JD died, the charge would be capital murder.

Josiah knew Vin had to be the one who called Chris. “I’ll tell Nettie about Douglas Banks, and Barbara said she would take care of the children. You, my friend, need to call Chris before we officially arrest Casey.”

“Yeah,” Vin said softly. He stared at his cell phone for a long while, before he finally punched in Chris’s number. He reckoned confirming Chris’s fear was going to be one of the hardest phone calls he would ever make.

~~~7~~~

Kelli handed Greg a plastic evidence bag, which contained Casey’s blood splattered clothes. It had been easy to get the young woman to change, and hand them over to her. “Tell Vin, we’ll be on the front porch.” Casey was now docile and oblivious to what was going on around her, she allowed the redhead to help her on with a coat, and lead her outside. Kelli wanted to get her out of the house and away from Nettie and the children while she was being submissive.

When Captain Tanner gave the word, Agent Coulter would read the young woman her rights, and tell her she was under arrest. She was determined to take on as much of the dirty part of this investigation as possible. Kelli hoped that with her being the arresting officer it would be her everyone threw their arrows at, and perhaps somehow lessen Vin’s guilty feelings about the decisions MCAT’s Captain Tanner had to make.

After talking to Chris, Vin felt worse than before. Yes, Captain Tanner was the investigating office in charge, and he was doing his damn job, but this was family, and no matter what he did, there was bound to be hard feelings down the line.  

Barbara approached him. “Vin, I will be responsible for the Dunne children. I‘ve already put in a call to a judge who is a friend of mine, and I hope to fend off any ugly battles with Child Protective Services. Inez is on stand by to baby-sit, if needed. She already has the Jackson children and Mallory is dropping her kids off with her and then coming here to help me. Cait is in with Nettie, and is prepared to drive her to wherever you’re taking Casey.”

The Wild Bunch women were a force to reckon with. Vin was always amazed when the women in this family mobilized into action. They did what they had to without complaint, and attempted to ease the path for their husbands without questions or judgments. He saddened for a moment when his thoughts turned to Casey, not so long ago she was one of them... Now, she was heading to jail, and JD was clinging to life. The grief that swept over him for their loss was almost too much to bear. He sobered and straightened in an attempt to shake off his foreboding thoughts.

“Thanks Barb, appreciate it. This is a crime scene however, so you need to find a place for Nettie and the kids to stay until we can release it.”

Her nod told him she understood. “I’ll take care of them. You do your work and leave the rest to us.”

“Captain Tanner.” Greg stopped him on his way back to Nettie. “We are finished with the kitchen, but we will need to process the rest of the house. I’m sending what we have to the lab, but I’ve logged in the evidence personally.”

Vin nodded. “Missus Standish is making arrangements for Miss Wells and the children. I want you to keep this discreet. We keep a tight lid on details, and anythin’ you find, you bring to me. Otherwise, we’ll treat this just like any other crime scene. Specifically we are lookin’ for anythin’ that might indicate the assault on Agent Dunne was premeditated or that more than one perpetrator was involved either in the planning, or the actual attack.” Vin glanced at the front door. “I expect you to be thorough, but leave everythin’ exactly the way you find it.” 

“Yes sir.” Greg started to leave and turned back. “I almost forgot. Kel took Missus Dunne outside. She said to tell you she’ll meet you on the porch.”

“Okay,” Vin dismissed Agent Ramsey and headed into the dining room to talk with Nettie.

The older woman looked at him expectantly. “Any news?”

Tanner shook his head. “I talked to Chris, but they don’t know much. JD is likely headed for surgery.” He crouched down in front of her. “Douglas Banks has agreed to represent Casey. He’ll meet y’all at the Federal Buildin’. Go to sublevel B, which is the detention area, and look for a sign that says intake. We’re gonna try to get Case into the infirmary, but Douglas will know where she is.”

“We’ll find you,” Cait spoke up. “I’ll be with Nettie for as long as she needs me.” She recognized the look of gratitude in Tanner’s eyes and wished she could do more to help. The days ahead were going to be rough for the entire Wild Bunch and no matter the outcome; they were all going to lose something. Trust, safe havens, and core values had been shattered tonight, and no one would be coming out of this unscathed.

Vin stood. “Barbara is making arrangements for you and the girls to stay somewhere else for a day or two, while forensics finishes up here. An officer will stay here to guard the premises. We’ll meet you at the Federal Buildin’.” Nodding to both women, he left before his emotions had an opportunity to explode.

Josiah walked with him outside. “Are you certain you don’t want me to go with you and Kel?”

“We’ll handle Casey. You go on to the hospital.” Vin told him, “Emotions are runnin’ high and Chris didn’t sound good when we hung up. I reckon you can help him better than me right now.”

“God, this is one helluva mess,” Josiah said, throwing his arm around Vin’s shoulder. “We’ll make it through this, Brother, but I have a feeing there are some dark days ahead of us.”

“Go,” Vin urged him. “We’ll come to the hospital as soon as we can. Call me if…” he hesitated. “…just call me.” Watching Josiah leave, a heavy weight fell over him. Vin squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, and walked over to Kel and Casey.

Kelli read her husband well. She stood up and assisted Casey to her feet. “Casey Teresa Dunne, you are under arrest for assault with intent to commit murder against Special Agent John Daniel Dunne. You have the right to remain silent….”

Vin used plastic ties to bind Casey’s hands instead of metal handcuffs. He took her by the arm and led her to his truck. Kelli handed him her gun and slid into the backseat next to Casey. Exhaling a deep sigh of regret, he got in on the driver’s side, started the engine and continued their journey through hell.

~~~7~~~

During the ride downtown, Casey remained silent and impassive. When Vin pulled up in front of the Federal Building, she became animated and combative.

“JD works here,” she said quietly at first, and then became agitated. “JD…JD!” Casey pulled against the restraints on her hands and screamed, “JD….JD, I’ll help you!” Turning to Kelli, she pleaded, “let me go… I need to warn him! They’re coming…..please let me go! JD…needs me…JD!”  Kelli held on to Casey, but the young woman began to thrash around violently.

Vin parked the truck, jumped out of the front, and opened the back door to assist. “Casey, settle down,” he ordered sternly, grabbing her arm before she hurt herself. Once she stilled, he softened the tone of his voice. “We’re gonna go inside that buildin’, take your picture, and then a doctor will examine you.”

Casey stared at him for a moment and finally nodded her head.

Reverting back to her impassive state made it easier to get Casey through the booking process. Vin talked to the shift supervisor, and called in a few favors to get her taken to the infirmary. A brief discussion with the doctor on call convinced him she needed to be seen immediately, and as a precaution put on suicide watch in the psychiatric ward. Reluctantly, Vin and Kelli left Casey in the doctor’s care and went in search of Douglas Banks. They found him sitting in a break room with Nettie and Cait.

Douglas stood up when Vin entered the room, and reached out to shake his hand. “Good to see you again Tanner. I’m just sorry it had to be under these circumstances.”

Vin nodded.” I had Casey admitted into the psychiatric ward. A doctor is in with her now, but I told him to be expectin’ a visit from you.”

Nettie looked up. “Is she still…” she swallowed hard, unable to ask about Casey’s condition.

Kelli sat down next to Nettie and grasped her hand, giving Vin an opportunity to talk to Douglas. “She did just fine, Nettie. I’m sure the doctor who examines her will find a way to help.”

“Max sent a message for you, Kel,” Cait said, trying to keep things as normal as possible. “The kids are fine, and she and Walter are staying over at your house.”

Vin and Douglas moved away from the women to talk in private.

“The doctor placed Casey on suicide watch, Doug,” Vin informed him. “She’s not stable, the sooner you can get her into a regular hospital the better.  I can’t do anymore on this end.”

“I’m already working on the case.” He sighed. “I promise you, I’ll do everything in my power to get the proper help for that girl.”

Vin looked over the attorney’s shoulder at Nettie, who appeared to have aged considerably during the past few hours. “I’m worried about Miss Wells too.”

“I understand, and I will be gentle with her. However, I do need to discuss a few business matters with her. I can cut my fee, but initially several big expenses will pop up…”

“Hold off talkin’ to her for a while. I don’t have my checkbook with me, but I’ll stand good for whatever you need.” Vin felt certain that once his brothers understood Casey’s condition, they would be willing to help Nettie with expenses. If not…then he and Kel would. It was the least he could do, he owed that old woman more than money could repay.

“Your word is good enough for me.” Douglas knew this was a difficult situation for everyone involved. “There is nothing more you can do here. You did your job, now it’s time for me to do mine.  You and Kel go on to the hospital and I sincerely hope JD is much better by the time you arrive.”

Vin took in a deep, shaky breath, “Yeah, me too.”

The Tanners said goodbye to Nettie and Cait and then headed over to the hospital. Neither of them had much to say, each lost in their own thoughts.

Kelli stared out the window for a while and then said softly. “How could it come to this without any of us seein’ the pain she was in?”

“I don’t know, baby.  I  reckoned she and JD were havin’ a few problems because he mentioned a small number of odd things over the past few months, but we chalked it up to pregnancy hormones...then when she left after JJ was born...he was devastated...but this…hell, I saw the evidence, and still can’t believe it.” He turned into the hospital parking lot and pulled in next to Chris’s truck.

“It could have been me,” Kelli whispered. “I almost killed you in that damn crypt.”

“Look at me Kel,” Vin gently drew her closer. “I was mentally prepared for anythin’ when I went down those steps. I knew if you were alive, you’d be stretched to the limit of endurance and you were. Yes, you could have shot at me, but I don’t think you would’ve unless you were certain I was a threat. In spite of your exhausted mental state, trainin’ would have stopped you.”

“Maybe,” she said. “At least I would hope so, but still…after…”

“Kel, you did what you have always done when faced with a bad situation. You used the copin’ skills you had to learn early in life, the same way Jason and Andi did, to survive. By withdrawin’ into your protective shell, you gave yourself time to heal.” Vin reached out to cup her cheek. “Casey doesn’t have the kind of intensive trainin’ you’ve received, or had to face life alone. Nettie was her safety net while she was growin’ up. Then JD came along while she was still very young, and he’s been there for her to fall back on. Don’t get me wrong, I love Casey like a sister, but she’s always put up a bold front to hide her lack of life experience. She’s never been on her own, and consequently, had no idea how to deal with whatever pushed her to this point.”

“Surely there were signs though. JD must have been worried about her.”

“Yes...but JD never expected this, and didn’t see it comin’ until it was too late.” Vin sighed. “It’s a damn tragedy all around, for him, her, their kids, Nettie, for all their friends, and family who love and care for them. If...” he took a breath. “...when...JD regains consciousness...” Vin felt his emotions taking control and tried desperately to shake it off. “... this is gonna break his heart. He loves Casey as much as I love you.” He shook his head. “Her being locked up…no explanations for her actions… I can’t even begin to imagine how I’d feel if I were in his shoes right now…but… I damn sure wouldn’t turn on you and I know JD won’t do it to Casey either.”

Kelli's eyes burned with tears as she saw Vin struggling. She took his hand. “You know I’ll need to prepare a statement for the press and Travis will want a full report. Are you okay about leadin’ this investigation?”

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. “Don’t reckon I have any choice.” Vin leaned over and gently kissed his wife. “Let’s go inside. I think we need to be with the rest of our family.”

Chapter 7

Hungry for another soul, greed stoked the fires of hell. Only the tears shed by the righteous can prevent the Devil’s success.

Denver Memorial Hospital ~11:30 p.m.

Buck and Chris waited for what seemed like hours. At last, Doctor Gilford exited the ER and approached the two men who stood to meet him, both anxious for news.

“I'll cut to the chase. JD went into shock and we've been struggling to stabilize him. However, we are now confident he's stable enough to go up to surgery.”

“How serious?” Buck asked.

The doctor gestured for them to sit, but they refused, so he continued. “The first lateral blow hit muscle and nicked JD's left kidney, the second anterior blow,” the doctor pointed to his lower abdomen, “in the left lower quadrant, hit his small intestine.” He paused while the two ashen men took in the information. “While all are repairable injuries under good circumstances, we won't know how bad it is until we're inside. He has lost a lot of blood and the risk of infection is high, not just from the knife blade, but from the damage to the small intestine. We are going in under extreme circumstances, but we have no choice. Chris…Buck…right now I wouldn't even attempt to give odds, but you understand we will do everything we can for him.”

As he finished speaking, the double doors burst open. Nurses rushed JD's bloody gurney toward the elevator. Buck became queasy, watching the pale unconscious form of his little brother race by. He wanted to reach out, but was unable to move. They turned when Ezra and Nathan came rushing in, both coming to a dead stop when they caught sight of JD.

“Oh my Lord.”

“JD?”                                                                                      

Both men rushed over to Buck and Chris.

Ezra gripped Larabee’s arm. “It's true, then?”

Chris looked at him through glistening eyes, his voice hoarse with emotion, “Yes.”

Buck's face now reflected fury as he turned to his oldest friend, and realized he was holding back information. “Chris, what do you know?”

Larabee insisted they all sit down. Before he could speak, his cell rang, and he punched answer. After a brief conversation, he clicked off and paused briefly to collect his thoughts before he answered. “Vin confirmed that he will be arresting Casey for attempted murder.”

For a few long moments, no one spoke, and then Buck's eyes flashed with rage. “Casey? Casey did this?”

Chris nodded. “Vin said since there were no apparent defensive wounds, it doesn't look like JD saw the attack coming. Nettie found him unconscious, with Casey close by, staring into space, and holding a bloody knife. Casey is still passive and non-responsive, but they intend to take her in soon.”

“Barbara went over…to represent the children's interests,” Ezra informed them, fighting the emotions, which threatened to sweep over him. “When she left for Nettie's she only had time to say that Casey attacked JD. I thought perhaps she hit him, but I never expected…”

Buck groaned and leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. “This can't be happening.”

Nathan stood quickly, his own bitterness evident. “Rain is on duty tonight, she’ll tell us when she knows something. Are we gonna sit here, or get on up to the surgical waiting area and find out how our boy is doing?”

The other men stood in silent agreement and together they all made their way to the elevators.

Waiting Room ~ 4:00 a.m. Tuesday, May 27^th

Observing the range of emotions displayed by his brothers over the past hour, Josiah understood their feelings. Fear, anger, disappointment, and conflict radiated around the room. Each man expressed his deep anguish in various ways.

Earlier, Josiah shared Vin’s struggle when, forced by circumstances, they had to set aside their own feelings and take charge of an unimaginable crime scene. He witnessed the pain in Nettie’s eyes as she tried to comprehend the truth. He felt Kelli’s fears for her husband and her sorrow for Casey and JD. He identified with Barbara and Caitlyn’s shocked faces when they entered the Dunne home. In spite of the horror of a family tragedy, he held compassion for the young woman who sat on Nettie’s couch, oblivious to it all. His experiences with Hannah taught him that for some things, there simply were no comprehensible reasons.

Nathan was a man of science, usually objective and reasonable. However, even as he sat quietly in the corner, the anger churning beneath his calm exterior was evident.

Ezra spent an enormous amount of time and energy attempting to convince the world he was unaffected by emotion. Yet tonight, with his air of composure stripped away, his thoughts collided. Torn between fear for JD and the concern for the Dunne children, he sat by the window staring off into the night, occasionally swallowing hard as he tried to come to terms with tonight’s tragedy.

Chris was most often the hardest to read, but even he was having difficulty concealing the angry turmoil of emotions simmering inside him. Part of him wanted to believe a rational explanation for what happened. A mistake or some tangible thread of reason he could grab hold of and understand. The other part of him wanted to forget his years in law enforcement and make someone pay dearly for the pain JD suffered. The resentments he held about Linda’s challenge for custody of the kids and Ice’s treachery, weighed on his mind. His family had suffered from both and now faced further hurt, inflicted by a woman, who was evidently not the loving wife and mother everyone thought they knew. Leaning against the wall nearest the door, he looked intense and menacing, like a lion ready to pounce on its prey.

Then there was Buck. He talked the talk and walked the walk, but of the seven of them, he was probably the most emotionally driven. For an hour, he paced the small waiting room and ranted. Running the gauntlet of emotional hell, he prayed for JD to live, and cursed Casey. He questioned God through his tears, and swore the devil’s vengeance in his rage, while he yelled about finding justice.

The mounting tensions in the room rapidly approached an explosive point. All that was missing was a target. When Vin and Kelli walked in, Josiah feared his brothers had found one.

Vin kept his hand on the small of Kelli’s back as they joined their family. Although he expected stress, and concern for JD, the massive amount of tension which hit him when they walked in surprised him. “How’s the kid?”

Buck stopped pacing, and spun around to face them, shouting, “Did you get the bitch locked up?”

Feeling Kelli tense up, Vin answered, “Casey has been charged and booked into jail. We left her in the infirmary, and her attorney is with Nettie.”

Narrowing his brow, Buck snarled. “The little bitch didn’t waste any time did she? I bet she already had her lawyer on speed dial when she planned to kill JD.”

“I suppose she expects to plead insanity?” Nathan shook his head. “I just hope the grand jury doesn’t buy that nonsense.”

Ezra turned from the window. “I agree. The young woman must be held accountable for her actions.”

Buck shot Vin a fierce scowl. “How the hell did she talk you into getting her in the infirmary? You should’ve thrown the bitch in with the rest of the scum, where she belongs.”

“She is where she needs to be, Bucklin.”Vin glared at him.”I arranged it. I also called Douglas Banks and asked him to represent her.”

“Why would you do that?” The softness of Chris’s voice contrasted with the intense look in his eyes.

Vin met his gaze. “Because she needed a good attorney, and Nettie was not in any condition to find one.” Vin’s head began to pound. He expected Buck to react first, and think later, but Chris’s challenge was unexpected.

“I don’t believe you’re taking her side in this,” Buck hissed. “The bitch can get her own lawyer.”

Kelli heard the judgmental tone in Buck’s voice. While she understood his concern for JD, she could not help but think how a few short months ago it could have been her he called a bitch. However, this was still family, damnit. No matter what Casey did, they should not simply dismiss her from their lives. She stepped forward. “I don’t like this any more than you, Buck, but if you call her a bitch one more time, I’m gonna cloud up and rain all over you.”

“Yeah, you try, Missy, and watch what happens.” Buck moved to stand in front of Kelli, physically spitting the words in her face.

Vin stepped between them, he loved Buck, but he would not stand by and let his brother vent his out of control anger on his wife. “Buck, back off.”

“Kel, you need to back off too,” Chris ordered. “He’s just saying what we’re all thinking.”

“That word is ugly and uncalled for, especially to a woman y’all supposedly care about, who regardless of what she did, is family, too.” Kelli snapped back defensively, thinking of the anguish Vin was going through over this. “We are not takin' sides and it’s offensive that you suggest otherwise. Of course, we care about what happens with JD, but no one in this room knows enough facts to appoint themselves judge, jury, and executioner.”

Ignoring Kelli’s words, Buck stood toe to toe with Vin. “The only one we care about is in surgery right now fighting for his life, or did you forget about JD?”

Tanner tried to disguise the hurt Buck's accusation caused. “No, I didn’t forget. While you were here pacin’ the damn floor, I was walkin’ in his blood. I questioned an old woman, who I care about a great deal, to tears, and stood by watchin’ helplessly as she aged before my eyes.” Vin’s pent up emotions were screaming at him. “I couldn’t be here, because I had a fuckin’ job to do, whether I wanted it or not, and I did it.  We arrested a woman who has babysat our kids, shared meals with our family, and is someone I have known, and cared about for close to seventeen years. So hell yes, I asked Banks to help Nettie, even guaranteed his retainer, and I made the request to place Casey in the psychiatric ward where the doctor put her on suicide watch.” He poked his finger into Buck’s chest. “But through all of that, not for one second did I forget about JD!”

Buck grabbed Vin’s hand. “Yes, she's been all of those things...and more. All JD did wrong was love and care for her.” His voice dropped as he hissed out his words, “She sure paid him back, didn't she?” He shoved Vin's hand aside. “Guess it’s obvious where your loyalties are, Tanner. Casey and Nettie always could wrap you around their little fingers. Maybe you should go baby the little princess you seem to love so much, while we take care of the Kid.”

“Let it go, Buck.” Chris moved to stand in front of them. “They haven’t been here to see the results of Casey’s attack.”

Shaking his head and obviously taken aback by the animosity he heard in Chris’s voice, Vin sighed. “All the while we were doing what had to be done, we couldn’t wait to get here, to be with our family…but I reckon maybe we have different ideas about what that means after all.” Vin stepped back, took Kelli’s hand, and looked at Josiah. “We’ll be in the cafeteria. You’ll let us know about JD?”

Josiah nodded. What he was witnessing did not surprise him, but it saddened him to know he was right.

Chris pursed his lips and refused to meet Vin’s eyes when he and Kelli walked out. He was certain they would come around to the truth. Casey attacked his family and he would hear no excuses. No explanation justified her actions. Turning his focus on the door leading to the operating theater, he was confident when Vin came back and saw JD the way they had seen him, he would apologize for his insensitive remarks.

~~~7~~~

Hospital vigils never made for great conversation, but since the blow-up, the silence was unbearable, and the tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. Rain came in several times to tell them JD was still in surgery, but she never stayed long. Their combined relief when Doctor Gilford walked in was overwhelming and they all stood to greet him.

“Hello everyone,” Doctor Gilford said as he entered the room still wearing his soiled scrubs. “JD is in recovery. We have successfully repaired, the damage, but there was some leakage from the injury to the small intestine. His temperature is a little elevated and we are monitoring it to make certain we do not have a problem brewing. Consequently, we are treating him with a strong antibiotic. He came through surgery well, but he is still in grave condition, I'm afraid. The shock and blood loss has taken its toll and he'll be going into SICU until further notice.”

“But he’s gonna be okay, right?” Buck needed some reassurance

“Physically, and barring any unforeseen circumstances, I expect a full recovery, given time.” The man's features saddened. “Sharing what happened with me earlier has helped a lot with how we’ve decided to deal with this. I have already arranged for a staff psychiatrist, who specializes in working with trauma victims, to talk with him when he comes around.  Without Casey, and given the circumstances, JD's going to need help dealing with this mentally, while he heals physically. I am keeping him heavily sedated for a day or two, his body needs to recover and staying calm will aid the process. When he wakes, he will need people around him who can support him. We can't risk him collapsing or deteriorating.”

Buck and Chris straightened at the last remark as if to make a point.

“Don't you worry none, Doc,” Buck assured him, “the people in this room are behind him all the way and I for one will never let that boy down, or let him think for a split-second any of this was of his fault.”

Gilford nodded. “I don't doubt that for a minute. I'll notify you when he's settled in SICU.”

As the doctor left, Buck glared at Josiah as if encouraging him to disagree with him.

Meeting Buck's glare, Josiah stood. “Family is family, good, bad, or ugly, we don’t get to choose. I’m going downstairs to talk to Vin.”

Chapter 8

Pain can divide families, be the source of hurtful words, and inflict hell on loved ones.

Hospital Cafeteria ~ 5:00 a.m.

After drinking several cups of bad coffee, Vin’s mood was even darker than before. He thought about the exchange of words with his brothers in the waiting room an hour earlier. Buck was easy to read, he was reacting, plain and simple. Nathan and Ezra did surprise him, but he was certain after they had time to think, they would be more reasonable. Chris’s reaction had shocked him though. The look in Larabee’s eyes was one he had rarely seen, and the censure and bitterness radiating from his glare was evident.

“Travis will be here soon. He wants us to keep a tight lid on this. I talked to hospital administration and had the ER records sealed. If anyone asks, JD is not listed as a patient.” Kelli talked, but was not sure her Texan heard a word she said. They had avoided any discussion about what happened with Buck, Chris, and the others, but the conflict was eating away at Vin. “You haven’t uttered three words in the past thirty minutes,” she said softly. “Talk to me…please.”

Shaking his head, he closed his eyes for a moment before answering. “I knew when we walked into JD’s home earlier; this was going to be bad all the way around. Bad…” he scoffed. “What a fuckin’ understatement. I understand the immediate reactions from Nathan and Ezra.  Even Buck’s vehement rantin’, I expected. Chris though,” Vin shook his head, “his anger was predictable, but the blatant censure in his eyes was disturbing.” When Vin looked up his pain was evident. “If I can’t stay objective, interview JD, and investigate this case without bias, we’ll be forced to turn the case over to the FBI, and they’ll rip the Kid apart. They’ll make him into another insensitive cop, whose marriage went bad. Question how a trained federal agent let this happen in his own home. In short, they’ll crucify him, and every news outlet in the country will be talkin’ about JD and Casey.”

Kelli sighed, put her hand over his, and squeezed. “Then we’ll just make sure that doesn’t happen. Dad is upset, we all are, but as soon as Doctor G confirms JD will be okay, I’m certain he’ll see things more clearly.”

“I hope you’re right, Baby, but …for the first time since I met him, I can’t understand where Chris’s head’s at. Hell, we all love JD, and Chris knows we’ll stand with him, no matter what, or at least he should. Does that mean we turn our backs on Nettie and Casey? God, what about Lilah, Daisy, and JJ…?” Thinking of the Dunne children was more than his battered emotions could handle right now.

Trying to control her own emotions was difficult when Vin’s expression showed how much he hurt. Her voice trembled, “I’m afraid none of us will be able to escape the heartbreak of what’s happened tonight for a long time, especially JD and the kids.”

Vin glared at the clock on the wall for the umpteenth time. “Why the hell don’t we hear anythin’? JD should be out of surgery by now.”

“Want me to call the nurse’s station again?”

“Appears you won’t need to… Josiah’s here.” Vin spotted him the moment he stepped into the room.

Josiah made his way across the cafeteria to join them. Vin and Kelli stood when he approached, their fears rose, since his demeanor gave nothing away. He put a hand on each of their shoulders and gave a comforting squeeze.

“JD's out of surgery and about to go up to SICU. He's fighting an infection, so they're keeping him sedated for now.” He spoke to Vin, “I'm guessing you'll need a statement from him. I’m certain that won’t happen for a day or two at least.”

“He's gonna be okay?” Kelli's voice was uncharacteristically soft and shaky.

Josiah shrugged. “They're hopeful, and expect him to recover, but Doctor Gilford is cautiously optimistic. A body in shock can be vulnerable and unpredictable. He…” Josiah swallowed, “he died once…in the ambulance.”

A wave of nausea washed over Vin, his jaw clenched. “I need to be with JD,” Tanner's words were soft-spoken, but with no room for argument.

“That's why I’m here,” Josiah acknowledged, “let's go.”

~~~7~~~

Orrin Travis spoke with Josiah before he came up to the SICU. After only being there a few minutes, he felt the full impact of the tensions radiating from his agents. He pulled Chris aside to explain the steps he had taken to protect JD and MCAT from outsiders prying for information. “I expect you to make certain this dilemma is handled with discretion. We will take care of this investigation internally and keep Agent Dunne and his wife’s name out of the press.”

Chris leaned into Travis’s personal space. “This dilemma involves family. We are not sweeping this under the Goddamn rug! I don’t fucking care if her name gets in the press or not. Casey did this and by God she’ll pay.”

Orrin did not waiver. “Need I remind you Commander Larabee, you are now the Assistant Director for MCAT? Your responsibility is to not only to protect Agent Dunne from inflamed publicity, but all MCAT units as well. Like it or not, you set the tone the others will follow. I expect you to act accordingly.”

“A member of my family was brutally attacked in his home by his loving wife, and you want me to act accordingly?” Chris hissed. “Fuck you, Orrin. You want my job, fine, but do not tell me to think about MCAT first!”

Travis nodded. He understood Chris’s anger and his need to vent, but that was no excuse for his behavior. “Your emotions are obviously too involved in this case to be objective. Consider yourself on emergency family leave Commander Larabee, until this investigation is completed.”

“Fine by me, but if you’ve forgotten, this case has a name… John Daniel Dunne, and damned right I’m involved. That boy spent more than five hours in surgery to save his life, and is still in critical condition, but you don’t need to worry about MCAT, Tanner’s already doing his damndest to whitewash what happened.”

“I will talk to Tanner.” Orrin bit his tongue to keep from saying something he might end up regretting. Fortunately, after talking to Josiah on his way up here, he was prepared for Larabee’s attitude. He hoped that a little rest, time, and a recovered JD would still the rough seas raging in his unit. His stance softened. “Take care of your family, Chris; I’ll come back tomorrow to check on Agent Dunne.”

On his way out, Travis met Vin, Kelli, and Josiah at the downstairs elevator. “Captain Tanner, I need a moment please?” Orrin placed his hand on Vin’s shoulder, and took a few steps away from the others. “I realize this is a bad time for all of you, but you are to continue this investigation.”

Vin nodded. “Kelli told me you wanted to keep this low key.”

“I do,” Travis said. “Bravo will take over Alpha team’s duties.  Talk with Justin and bring him up to speed on what your unit is working on, but do not give him any details about Agent Dunne. I want him and MCAT protected from adverse publicity.  Agent Sanchez and Coulter will assist you, and under these circumstances, you will report to me.”

“What about Larabee?”

“Commander Larabee is on emergency leave of absence and the rest of your team is officially on stand down status.” Orrin stated without explanation. “I will make certain you receive whatever you require to complete your inquiry. Work out of Camp Larabee, stay in touch with the U.S. Attorney’s office, let Kelli handle information flow, and do not discuss your findings with anyone else. I expect you to conduct a thorough, objective, and professional investigation.”

Taking a deep breath, Vin was aware of the huge weight which fell on his shoulders, but he had no options. If he refused, no one would represent JD, MCAT, or the family’s interest in the outcome, and it could get ugly. “I’ll do my job, Orrin.”

“I know you will.” Travis sighed, dropped his professional tone and said, “I care about JD too; that’s why I want us to control what gets out and what doesn’t. After he recovers, JD, his children, and his wife will still have to deal with the emotional ramifications of this mess for a long time. There is no need for public scrutiny of his or his children’s lives. Be discreet, but find the truth…wherever it leads.”

The elevator dinged for the fourth time. “Go on, visit JD, then do your job.” Orrin accepted Tanner’s nod and watched him disappear into the elevator with Josiah and Kelli. He said a silent prayer for his men, his friends, and their families before leaving.

~~~7~~~

Before Doctor Gilford allowed the group into SICU, he held up his hand. “Let me tell you what to expect. Your friend’s appearance is dreadful; he's drawn and pale and connected to a vent.” He paused as he saw the alarm on the faces of the men in front of him. “For now, JD's in a medically induced coma, his body is currently too weak to fight and function, so the vent is assisting him to breathe for the short term. When I am convinced he's ready, I'll remove the machine and begin to reduce his meds.”

“Will he wake up then?” Buck asked, anxious to be at JD’s bedside.

“I expect him to, yes,” Gilford continued. “He's alone now, so you may all go in, but he will be out of it for at least twenty-four hours, during which time I suggest you get some rest yourselves. When I'm confident I can bring him around, I'll let you know…you will have plenty of time to get to the hospital to be here for him.” Satisfied that his message was clear, and received, the doctor stepped aside to allow them entry.

Buck's heart clenched when he saw JD lying there, reaching out for support, he grabbed Chris’s arm. Trying to ignore the numerous cables, drains, beeping machinery, and the whooshing of the ventilator, they approached the bed; the brunet leaned over and gently touched JD's face.

Unable to prevent the tears, which welled in his eyes from falling, Buck sobbed. “I'm so sorry, li'l brother…I'm so, so sorry. We're all here, kid…fight, ya hear me? Fight or Chris will have your ass in a sling.” The others moved closer, each man lost in his own thoughts… one by one resting a hand on JD. A noise at the door drew their attention. Josiah nodded to them all, as Vin and Kelli followed him into the room.

Vin stared at the small form in the bed, his heart in his throat, causing him to swallow to relieve the pressure.

Kelli had her hand on his back and could feel Vin shaking. She brushed away a tear from her cheek. Buck moved just enough for them to get close.

Softly laying his hand on JD's head, Vin took a few moments to look at him, leaned in, and whispered into his ear. “I've got your back…don’t give up, we're all here for you…hang in there little brother. You have my word that I’ll find some answers for you.” He rested his head against JD's for a moment, fighting the images of the young man lying in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor, and then straightened.

Turning away from the bed, Vin was met by the anguished faces of his five other brothers, his own shaking became more evident. The events of the day were catching up with him and one huge solitary tear rolled down his cheek. Taking Kelli's hand, his voice shuddered, “I have some things need tendin’, but…I'll be back.” Without a backward glance, he left the room. It was not until he and Kelli were alone in the elevator that Vin finally broke down, allowing her to comfort him.

Chris stepped closer to JD and brushed hair from the younger man's face, addressing the others.

“I'm staying for a while. The doc said we should rest before he reduces JD's meds. I suggest we take his advice…when this kid comes back to us; he's going to need us fresh and awake. Go home…be with your families…then come back and be here for JD.”

He looked at Buck; there was no way this man was moving anytime soon. One by one, the men visited with their youngest, each offering words of comfort and promises to return after getting some sleep. Chris and Buck settled in for the duration. Chris needed to work some things out in his head before leaving. The blond looked sadly back at JD, no wife here at his side. Chris shuddered, his thoughts on Casey’s senseless violence and Linda’s egocentricity …fucking wives….this was so wrong…so very, very wrong.

As if the heavens empathized with the family, dark storm clouds shrouded the morning sun while torrential rains pounded the streets of Denver. Vin maneuvered through the rush hour traffic, his progress slowed by the slick roadways. Kelli was on the phone gathering information on their investigation and tried to ignore the soft curses he uttered under his breath.

Snapping the cell shut, she looked over to Vin, wishing she could somehow make all this easier for him, but at a loss to know how. “First off, I talked to Max, our kids are fine. I also reached Greg, and he’s waitin’ for us at JD’s. He has a preliminary report for us to go over on what he found, and he kept one tech with him, said he figured the fewer people involved the better.”

Vin nodded his response.

Kelli continued, “Barbara woke up a judge and managed to obtain temporary guardianship of the Dunne children assigned to Caitlyn. I talked to Cait and she told me Nettie and the kids are at Reins now, but she insisted that Nettie get some rest before the hearing today at two-thirty…” Though it was fleeting, she did not miss his reaction when she mentioned Casey’s court appearance. “Vin, I know you’re hurtin’, but we can’t change what’s happened.”

Reaching over to clasp her hand, he roughly whispered, “I know, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it, either.” Clearing his throat, he continued. “We’ll do what we have to and be professional. I…can accept Casey bein’ mentally unbalanced, it’s still a damn tragedy, but at least it makes better sense than the alternative.”

“We have to follow the evidence…wherever it takes us.”

“Let’s hope like hell Greg didn’t find proof indicating that Casey acted with intent or JD might never recover.”

*Or you,* she thought. It took a lot to have any of the seven genuinely angry with one of the others, but sometimes they did have extreme differences of opinions. Stubborn as they all were, it could get loud and occasionally physical, but it never lasted very long.  However, their diverse emotional reactions to Casey’s attack on JD already proved to have the power to divide them. Kelli hoped it was temporary, that cooler heads would prevail, and they would find a way to come together in the days ahead, to attain the support and healing they needed, for all their sakes.

Chapter 9

The truth can set us free or weigh us down. It can lead us into the dark places we do not wish to visit and force us to accept the unacceptable. The one thing it cannot do is lie.

Denver Memorial Hospital

Nathan leaned against the wall and waited by the employees’ entrance for Rain. Her shift ended at six and he needed to be with her this morning. He smiled as she came down the hall, and moved to meet her. “Hey, Baby,” he leaned close to kiss her, “thought I’d catch a ride home with you.”

“Sounds good to me. Are you okay?” Falling in step with one another, they shared an umbrella, and headed for her car.

He waited until they were inside to answer. Nathan thought about her question. “I’m a bit numb…Doc thinks JD is gonna be okay, but I can’t get the thought of what happened out of my head. How could Casey do this?”

“She’s ill. You know as well as I do that’s the only explanation.”

Shaking his head, Nathan disagreed. “Ice was a psychotic bitch, but everything she did was methodically calculated for a purpose. What makes Casey any different? How do we know this is not something she planned?”

“Nathan Jackson! You can’t believe Casey planned to hurt JD.”

“How can we be sure she didn’t?  Can you sit there and tell me with one hundred percent certainty she is unable to understand right from wrong? I don’t think so. Depressed maybe, but she had to realize what she was doing. We would have known if she was that far gone.”

Rain was astonished. “You are the last person I would expect to jump to conclusions. I think we need to drop this discussion before we both say something we might regret.”

“Fine by me,” Nathan huffed, leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. The ride home was long, wet, and silent.

Standish Home ~ 6:30a.m.

Ezra threw his keys on the table and made his way through the dark house. It seemed like days since he had been here and in some ways, a lifetime ago. He understood enough about human nature to realize that everything had changed since he walked out the door last night. A tragedy like this was not supposed to happen …not here.

The safe haven they took for granted on Larabee 7 for their families had vanished, touched by the ugliness of the world they spent their lives trying to hold in check. One of their own was down and one of their women responsible. How the hell do you recover from that?

He entered their bedroom and paused to observe Barbara sleeping. The soft rise and fall of her chest comforted him and his first instinct was to wake her to talk about what happened, but the voice of reason in his head said no. There would be time for talking later. He stripped off his clothes, slid in to bed beside his wife, wrapped his arm around her, and allowed sleep to claim him.

Wells’ Property ~ 7:00 a.m.

Parked in front of the Dunne home, the Mobile Analysis Unit or MAU, as the agents called the forensic truck, sat in the rain. Greg, his assistant, Roy, and a Deputy, waited on the front porch for Captain Tanner to arrive. Their work was completed, but the captain still had to sign off on the evidence collected.

Vin parked as close as possible to the house, but before he opened the truck door, he asked Kelli, “You okay with this?”

“Truthfully, no I’m not. Normally I wouldn’t think twice about searchin’ a crime scene…but this is family,” she shuddered, “I hate the idea of invadin’ their privacy like this.” Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly. “Still, we have a job to do, so let’s get this over with, and deal with our regrets later.”

Handing her an umbrella, Vin brushed his fingers across her cheek. “Agent Coulter; if you weren’t a married woman…you wouldn’t be safe with me, but I hear your husband is a possessive sonofabitch.”

Kelli laughed, in spite of her qualms, and relaxed, thankful Vin was with her. It did not make anything easier, but it did make what they had to do bearable. “He is, but the fact I have a husband never stopped you before, Captain. If you want to screw around later, I won’t tell him, if you don’t.”

Satisfied he had lightened her mood, Vin felt better himself. “I won’t tell him and I’ll definitely take you up on your offer, woman. God knows I need somethin’ that makes sense to look forward to right now. Let’s get this over with. “Making a mad dash for the house, they ducked under the yellow crime scene tape strung across the steps and were both drenched before reaching the porch.

Greg handed them towels to dry off with and steered them to the dining area where he had compiled the evidence ready to take to the lab. “Agent Dunne’s weapons and badge are accounted for and I figured you would want them in your possession. I have a small crew coming in to clean up the crime scene in the kitchen. I also made certain everything else has been returned to its original state, with the exception of these items.”  He pointed to the evidence bags on the table, which he had collected over the past few hours.

“Tell me what we have,” Tanner waited for a verbal report.

Agent Ramsey continued, “I found this small caliber weapon in Missus Dunne’s vehicle.” He handed a 22-caliber handgun to Vin. “Answering machine tape has a message from Agent Dunne on it. The call came in at four-fifteen. I made you a copy as well as duplicates of the discs taken from three ‘Nanny Cams’ we found. Given the expert set-up of the one in the children’s bedroom, my guess is Agent Dunne installed it. The other two were located in the master bedroom and the kitchen. Missus Dunne’s prints are the only ones on them. They’re strictly amateur work, but effective.” He handed Vin the copies. “We tagged the cameras as evidence, and everything that happened in those three rooms for the past twenty-four hours was recorded.”

Suddenly the discs were hot to Vin’s touch and he felt queasy. “Includin’ the assault?” Knowing what happened was one thing, actually seeing the assault was another.

“Yes sir, you really should view them yourself.”

“Why two knives?” Kelli asked, pointing to the other evidence bags. “I thought Casey only used a single weapon.”

“This is the kitchen knife used in the attack.” Greg lifted the bag closest to him. “The other one I found under the mattress in the master bedroom… left upper side of the bed.”

Closing his eyes, Vin swallowed hard. He knew JD well enough to know he always claimed the right side of the bed. Casey was the only possible person, who could have placed the weapon under the mattress, which meant she could have stabbed JD at any time. Why the hell was she hiding a knife?  “What this?” He picked up an evidence bag with pill bottles inside.

“Medication prescribed for Missus Dunne. The Premarin was in the medicine cabinet and it appears that she took it regularly. The other bottle was hidden inside a boot in her closet.”

Tanner read the label, “Olanzapine. What the hell is it for, and why is the bottle almost full when the date of prescription is over a month old?”

“Olanzapine is an atypical antipsychotic, a class of prescription medication used to treat psychiatric conditions. Why she did not take the prescribed dosage is something you‘re going to have to find out.” Greg pulled a folder from beneath the tray. “This is my preliminary report. I included the name of the doctor who prescribed the meds and the pharmacy that filled the prescriptions. This last item is a journal, which apparently belongs to Missus Dunne.” He handed the book to Kelli. “I’ve already processed this and have a notation in my report, but I thought it might be helpful in your investigation.”

“Good job, Ramsey. You’re done here. Take what you have to the lab and log the entire batch into evidence.” Vin took a deep breath and addressed the other forensic tech. “Roy, once the cleanin’ crew is finished, release the scene and drop the keys off to Miss Wells at Reins for Change.”  He picked up JD’s weapons, ID, the report and the discs, leaving without another word.

Vin sat inside the truck and tried to make sense of what he had in his hands. “She was on fuckin’ antipsychotic meds, bought a gun, and kept a Goddamn knife under her mattress. How the hell could Casey be so screwed up, and none of us realize?”

“I don’t know,” Kelli said softly, “but I reckon our job is to figure it all out. We all assumed she was on a mild antidepressant because that’s what she wanted us to think.” She laid her hand on his arm. “Let’s go to the house, see the kids, change clothes, and then work out a plan.”

Vin nodded and set the evidence between them on the seat. He started the engine, and glanced toward the house. Whatever they found out would not fix what had happened or turn back the clock. His biggest regret was that he had no idea what would make it better again.

Denver Memorial Hospital ~ 11:00 a.m.

Chris stood and walked over to look out the window for the umpteenth time, not certain what he expected. The wind had picked up considerably while the rain continued to fall, making the morning dark and gloomy, just like his mood. He watched Buck as he stroked the back of JD's hand with his thumb, while talking non-stop about every subject imaginable…all except one…he hadn't talked about Casey. Buck was an amazing individual, loving and giving…he had been the perfect match ten years ago, for an orphaned rookie, twenty year-old wiz-kid.

Buck and Chris had often joked about it being like having a dependent in terms of responsibility. Not that JD had ever asked for special treatment, but both of them, and others on the team, had been compelled to treat JD that way occasionally…and he'd thrived on it. Hell, ten years later he was still thriving on it. They had seen him through from boy to man, bachelor to husband…and father. Chris smiled to himself. When JD hit ninety, he'd still be 'the kid'.

That thought brought Chris back to earth with a bump…JD would see ninety…wouldn't he? Of all the injuries the team and the kid had been through, certainly JD would not die at the hands of someone close to him…someone he…loved. He moved to snap himself out of his ruminations.

“Coffee, pard?”

The brunet looked up wearily. “Yeah, thanks.”  After Chris left, he turned again to JD. “Kid…that man is worried sick about you…we all are.”

~~~7~~~

Chris punched the button on the coffee machine, and Linda's face flashed through his mind.*'Fucking bitch'!*   How could a woman end up destroying your life with a selfish act or callous words?

Her threat of a custody battle was the last thing he needed. The kids had settled into a good routine and now he had Cait. For the first time, in a long time, he felt…complete.

He turned to happier thoughts…Caitlyn. Despite all that was going on, he was already certain he had found a woman who understood him, not just as a lover, but also as a friend. Chris closed his eyes as he thought about Cait in his arms. He needed her…he needed her tonight. She touched his soul and his heart … he ached to be with her…to let her take away some of the pain. Just to hold him and be the strong one for a while.  He walked back to JD's room and handed Buck his coffee.

“I'm going to head on over to Caitlyn's, find out what's happening. Shall I call one of the others…?”

“No.” Buck held up his hand to apologize for his hasty reply. “No, I…I'd kind of like to be with JD by myself for a while.”

Fully understanding, Chris nodded. He leaned over JD and laid his hand on the younger man's head. “I'll be back, son…I promise. You're not alone…please don't forget that…your brothers are here for you.”

As Buck watched Chris leave, the enormity of the words struck him. Chris was afraid…he was afraid JD would focus on Casey and give up. He picked up the slack hand.

“What he said, Kid, you know it’s true. We've been down this road before, me, you an' the guys…things may change, but it's always us…always the Seven. We're stronger together, JD…and we're stronger now, because every one of us is fighting right along with you. Rest easy, little bro…we're gonna beat this…all fucking seven of us.”

Tanner Home ~ 11:00 a.m.

After spending time with their children and settling them in for their morning activities, Vin and Kelli headed for their bedroom. A quick shower refreshed the sleep-deprived couple and they prepared to resume their investigation once they viewed the discs Agent Ramsey had given them.

Vin stood in front of the DVD/VCR player for a long time before pushing the on button. “Damn, I hate this.”

Wrapping her arms around him, Kelli whispered, “I know. “

He leaned into her and sighed. Setting aside the discs from the girls’ room, he started with the one from the master bedroom. He kept the sound down and fast-forwarded through the private moments between JD and Casey from the night before. He slowed when he reached the scenes near the time JD’s last phone call came in. Casey evidently listened to the message without picking up the phone. Pausing the screen, Vin told Kelli, “Look in the report and read the message JD left.”

Flipping through the pages, she found the notes. “Case, I’ll probably be late. The Feds insist I show up at the Federal Building, and you know how that goes….love you, bye.” Kelli picked up Casey’s journal. “Vin, she started this about the same time the FBI arrested JD back in October.  You think …?”

“Yeah, I do. Look at her reaction after hearin’ the message.” Turning up the sound they heard Casey repeating, “They took him again, they took him again,” as she headed to the bathroom. Following the sequence of events after that was easy. Casey took a shower, fully clothed, came out an hour later, changed her clothes and then left the room. The only other activity was when she put JJ down, and then JD arrived at nine forty-five. It was difficult to view the tender moments with his son, knowing what was coming.

Vin changed the disc to the one from the kitchen and fast-forwarded to seven. Casey stood at the counter cutting vegetables and she did not move until JD came into the room. Vin felt a cold chill race down his spine viewing the attack. He cringed when JD went down and Casey’s obsessed screams damn near tore him apart.  Watching JD fall to the floor was his undoing.

Tanner slammed his hand onto the stop button, crying out, “Fuckin; Goddamn, Sonofabitch! How could…damnit to hell!”

“Stop, please,” Kelli pulled him away from the television and held onto him, both finding comfort in one another.

Shaking off the horror of the surreal events they had just witnessed, Vin took a deep breath, and hugged his wife tightly to anchor himself in the here and now. He rested his chin on her head and asked, “You wanna run away with me? We could pack up the kids and be long gone before anyone came lookin’ for us.”

“Anywhere, any time, Tanner, say the word and we’re outta here.”

Vin exhaled and kissed the top of her head. “Reckon we need to finish what we started first, huh?”  

She looked up at him and sighed. “Reckon we do.”

Reading the concern in her eyes, Vin assured her, “I’m all right now,” he swatted her on the ass, “but… we are never makin’ any kind of sex video… ever. The only person who’s gonna see you in action is me.”

Letting her go, he took the discs from the machine, walked into their closet and locked them in the gun safe, along with JD’s weapons and ID. He hoped no one else would ever have to see what he and Kelli had just watched. When he reentered the bedroom, his cell phone began to ring.

Snatching it up, he answered, “Tanner.” Listening intently, he finally responded to the caller. “We’ll be there.”  Snapping the cell closed he looked at Kelli. “Trenton Barlow is the U.S. Attorney handling the Dunne case. Travis handpicked him and he wants us to meet him at the hearing this afternoon.”

Kelli nodded. “I’ll follow up with the doctor who prescribed Casey’s meds, stop by the bank and then go by the jail to check on Casey. I’ll meet you at the courthouse by two.”

“I’ll call Justin to fill him in on our caseload, and write up a preliminary report for Barlow. Nettie should be up by then and I need to ask her a few more questions before I head back downtown”. Vin shook his head. “I can’t talk to JD for at least another day, so when we leave the courthouse I want to come back here to try and get some sleep. I have a feelin’ we’re gonna need it.”

Chapter 10

Finding a balance for our emotions through pain is not an easy task

Reins of Change ~ Noon

Chris went straight home to see his kids and was not surprised when Dottie told him Cait had picked up Grace for her regular daycare routine. After Cody went down for his nap, he drove over to Reins, not only to see Grace, but he hoped to have the opportunity to talk to Cait. Maybe she could help him sort out the range of emotions he was experiencing and find some balance in the madness of the past twelve hours.

Cait met him at the door with a hug and a kiss, noting the weariness and turmoil in his eyes. Wrapping her arm around his waist, she asked, “How’s JD?”

“Holding his own I suppose. The doctor has him in a medically induced coma…” Chris drew her closer to him while they walked inside to the living room. “God, Cait how did this happen? Why didn’t we see it coming?”

“Sometimes even the experts are caught unaware.” They sat down side by side on the couch. “Understanding the mind is not an exact science, and those who suffer mental illness do not wear a sign around their neck. As for Casey, I believe her depression was much worst than any of us realized. Combined with the stress factors of a premature birth and an emergency hysterectomy, some type of psychosis must have developed.”

“So you don’t think she knew what she was doing?” Chris shook his head. “I’m having a hard time believing that.”

Nettie stood in the doorway. “Casey loves JD. Whatever happened last night…,” Taking a deep breath, her voiced trembled, “I can’t explain, but I do know my girl needs help.”

Chris stood when Nettie entered the room. He was struck by how much older she looked than the last time he had seen her. He moved to assist her to a chair.

“Sit down, son,” Nettie waved off his offer to assist her. “I can manage.”

“Nettie is staying here for a while,” Cait explained. “Barbara arranged for me to take temporary custody of the children until JD is able to make decisions about their care.”

Clearly, Nettie was not in any condition to take charge of three children right now. The twins were a handful on a good day, and JJ needed constant attention. Although it made sense for Cait to take them in, seeing the older woman here, caught him off guard. He had not given much thought to anything other than JD’s condition, he should have been thinking about other considerations as well.

Nettie nodded. “My main concerns right now are JD and Casey. How is he?”

Chris explained what Doctor Gilford had told them earlier. “All we can do now is to wait until the doc thinks he’s ready to wake up.”

“I understand how you must feel,” Nettie sighed, “but I love that boy too, and I’d like to see him when he’s awake.” 

Cait stood. “I’m going to get us something to drink. Chris, will you help me please?”

Following her to the kitchen, Chris thought about Buck and his reaction if Nettie went to the hospital. After the harsh words with Vin…

Cait’s voice broke into his thoughts. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about Nettie being here. The children are at the daycare, I thought Nettie needed to rest…”

“Ssh, it’s all right.  Her presence just took me by surprise. I noticed the twins when I stopped to visit with Grace, but I figured Nettie had dropped them off for the day and... Hell,” Chris could not wait any longer, pulling her into his arms, “I know it’s damn near impossible, but God, I want you and I need to be with you.” Lowering his head, he captured her mouth for a long lingering kiss taking them to another place, far away from the pain and explanations.

Placing her hand over his heart, Cait gently pushed him back a bit. “Lord, you do know how to change the subject and make me forget what I’m supposed to be doing.”

He grinned, “My pleasure, ma’am.” Taking a more serious tone he continued, “I understand we can’t be here together, and Dottie and the kids are at my house in the evenings. Besides, I plan to take a room at the hotel across the street from the hospital, at least until JD is on the mend. We’ll use the hotel as a base, so one of us can sleep while another sits with the Kid.” He sighed. “Seems we’re back to the same problem we had before…no place and no time for us.”

Running her fingers through his hair Cait whispered. “We’ll think of something. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” She moved away from him and reached for the pitcher of tea in the refrigerator. “Grab some glasses; I imagine Nettie is wondering what’s taking us so long.”

A knock on the front door drew their attention.

“I’ll get the door, you bring the drinks.” Cait smiled when she realized Chris was already doing just that.

~~~7~~~

Cursing the continuous rain, Vin knocked on Caitlyn’s door. His report was finished and Kelli called him a few minutes ago. She had talked to Doctor Ward, and was now on her way to the jail to attempt an interview with Casey. He hated the thought of asking Nettie any more questions, but it was necessary. Seeing Chris’s Ram parked in the driveway did not improve his frame of mind either. His emotions were too raw for another confrontation with Larabee. 

“Vin, “Cait said as she opened the door. “Come in.” She stepped aside for him to enter. “What can I do for you?”

“I need to speak with Miss Nettie for a few minutes, if she’s available.”

“Certainly, she‘s in the living room with Chris. Follow me.”

Entering the room, Vin nodded to Chris, acknowledging his presence. He directed his comments to Cait and Nettie, “I won’t take up much of y’alls time, but I need to ask Nettie a few questions.”

“I have nothing to hide, Son, ask away.” Nettie made it plain she expected him to sit next to her and did not mind Chris and Caitlyn staying.

Once Vin sat down, he tried to dismiss Chris and Cait from his thoughts, concentrating on Nettie. “A professional cleanin’ crew went into your house this mornin’. When they’re finished I’ve instructed our forensic tech to release the scene, and drop off the keys to you.” He handed her a sheet of paper. “This is a list of items we removed from the premises and I think you’ll find everything else in its proper place.”

Nettie nodded. “I appreciate all this, but …I’m not ready to go back yet.”

“I understand.” Vin cleared his throat. “Nettie, did Casey discuss with you the type of medication her doctor prescribed?”

“Doctor Elspeth Shaftsbury is the one who took care of Casey after JJ was born. She put her on hormone replacement therapy after her surgery and something for what she called a mild case of depression.”

“Did Case ever mention a doctor named Ward to you?”

Nettie shook her head, “No, Elspeth has been Casey’s doctor for years, and her father was my doctor before that. Is something wrong with her medicine?”

“No, but we found a prescription from a  Doctor Ward in Casey’s name and I wanted to make sure we had our facts straight. Kel talked to him and he told her Doctor Shaftsbury had referred Casey to him for treatment.” Vin hesitated for a moment. “Doctor Ward is a psychiatrist and evidently Casey had been seein’ him off and on since January…or was, up until a few weeks ago. She suddenly stopped going to her appointments and apparently quit takin’ the meds he prescribed for her.”

Nettie put her hand to her mouth. “Why didn’t she tell us? We…God, I should have seen this coming... I knew something was wrong.”

Vin took Nettie’s other hand. “Casey obviously didn’t want anyone to know and figured she could handle things herself. There’s nothin’you…or anyone else could have done differently. It was her choice to not say anythin’, in retrospect it was probably a bad choice, but hers to make.”

“Did she tell JD?”

“I won’t know that until I can ask him.” Vin held on to her hand. “I only have one more question. Were you aware of the camcorders set up in the house?”

“Yes, JD installed what he called …a ‘Nanny Cam’ in the girls’ room. He hooked the camera up to the computer screen in the living room so I could keep an eye on them when they were playing, but it was just one camera.”

“Okay, that’s all I needed,” Vin patted her hand, “but I’ll be at the hearin’ this afternoon.”

Nettie stood. “I think I want to freshen up, if you all will excuse me.”  She left the room, but not before they noticed the tears glistening in her eyes.

Cait waited until she was certain Nettie was out of earshot and leveled her gaze on Tanner. “What are you not telling her, Vin?”

Federal Lock-up

“I have the prisoner in an isolation room, and she’s been quiet since you brought her in,” the doctor in the infirmary told Kelli. “Without her medical records, I did not want to give her anything too strong unless necessary. I did, however, administer a mild sedative to help her sleep.”

Handing over her weapon, Kelli said, “I hoped she might be able to answer a few questions.”

“You can try, Agent, but I doubt you’ll get much.” The doctor walked with her until they reached the room. “The glass is two-way, just signal when you are ready to leave.” Locking the door behind her, he nodded to the guard.

Kelli stood at the door for a moment, observing Casey. The young woman, who she considered a sister, appeared to be sleeping in a fetal position on the bed. However, moving further into the room, it became apparent to the MCAT agent, that she was awake. Smiling at the young woman, she felt saddened by the lack of response. She straightened her shoulders, shrugging off the shroud of melancholy, which drifted over her, and took a deep breath. “How are you feelin’?”

Casey slowly lifted her head off the bed, blinking her eyes as if seeing Kelli for the first time, and stared absently at the redhead. Kelli shivered at the emptiness she read in the usually lively brown eyes. She lifted the solitary chair from against one wall, placed it closer to the bed, and sat down. They sat in silence for almost a minute before Casey found her voice.

“Kelli?” Casey’s eyes went from blank to showing a spark of recognition.

“Yes hon, it's me...Kelli.” Her heart ached at the uncertainty she heard in Casey’s voice and the sight of the huge tears, which appeared in her dark eyes.

“Where's JD?”

Unsure how to answer, Kelli chose her words carefully, “JD's not well right now, Casey, but I promise, as soon as he is, I'll arrange for you to visit with him.”

Casey shook her head. “No...I need him, NO!”

Kelli replied firmly. “Right now that’s not possible...Casey, please understand, JD's too ill to be here...but if he could be, he would...”

“NO! No... I want him...I want him here now...make them bring him back...I know what they're doing...make them bring him back.”

Choking back emotion, the MCAT agent stood to approach the distraught woman. “Casey...please, you need to calm down and listen to me.”

“NO!” Casey stood suddenly and picked up the chair Kelli had been sitting on to place between them. Kelli went immediately into a defensive stance, hoping that she wouldn’t have to hurt Casey to get her under control, yet at the same time unwilling to become another victim to her violent behavior.

“Casey, put the chair down.” She said in her most authoritative voice, but her words were lost to deaf ears and Casey’s eyes had gone hard and cold... she obviously was lost in another time and place, completely out of touch with reality.

“Get away from me...you're not here to help me...you're helping them...you've got JD...You can’t have me!”

With that, Casey hurled the chair she held at Kelli, who dodged to one side to avoid contact with it. The chair connected with the two-way mirror, shattering it. Kelli ducked, instinctively covering her head and face, as jagged shards of glass exploded over both women. She felt a series of tiny pinpricks and small bumps caused by pieces of the fragmented glass connecting with the back of her head, and exposed bare skin. A second or so later she looked up and winced at the frightening scene before her. Casey stood in the center of the room, doing nothing to protect her face, neck or arms from the flying shards of glass, which inflicted cuts on her body. A maniacal look formed on her face, which sent shivers of apprehension rushing through Kelli. Casey then lifted one hand to reveal a much larger piece of glass. 

Casey advanced on Kelli. “You aren’t going to take me, like you took JD.”

“Need some assistance in here ASAP!” Kelli yelled, briefly distracted from her attempt to grab the glass dagger from Casey’s hand, and successfully dodging another serious blow when Casey slashed out at her again.  Not taking her eyes off the crazed girl, she pulled the sheet from the bed for protection against the weapon Casey was wielding. “You’re bleedin’, let me help you.”

She slashed wildly out at Kelli, who barely dodged her erratic swings. Casey seemed unaware she was inflicting grievous wounds upon her own hands and wrists at the same time.

Kelli moved in, grabbing at the hand that held the shard of glass, and was surprised at the strength Casey exhibited to fight her. Pain shot through her left forearm, followed by the flow of blood. One of the psychotic young woman’s swings had found their mark.

“No!” Casey screamed, “Leave me alone! I won’t listen to your lies anymore! You’ve taken JD, and you’re not going to get me! I’d rather be dead than to let you have me!” She slashed at her own wrists, spilling more blood on the sterile floor, and eliciting an anguished cry of alarm from Kelli.

Staggering a bit as she became weaker, Casey slashed at Kelli. “No, no, no, no. no….” Blood flowed from the cuts on Casey’s wrists.

Three guards rushed into the room, and tackled Casey, taking her to the floor, allowing the doctor to enter and administer a sedative to subdue her. Several minutes passed before she quit screaming and thrashing around, and the doctor was able to bind the many wounds on her arms and wrists

“Sorry Agent Coulter, we had a transfer and I pulled your guard. My report will reflect that and the camera caught the assault.” Turning to the orderlies at the door, the doctor began issuing orders. “Bring that gurney in here. An ambulance is en route and we’ll meet them downstairs. Agent Coulter you’re bleeding too. I’ll need to look at it and document your injuries.”

Kelli looked shakily down at the multiple cuts on her arms and hands from the flying glass. She felt physically ill when she realized just how close she had come to serious injury at the hands of her delusional friend.  Her left arm was bleeding profusely and becoming numb, but she was more concerned about Casey. “It’s nothin’ that can’t wait, just pass me some gauze, I’m going with her to the hospital; someone can look at my injuries there.”

Reins of Change

Tanner stood to leave. “Cait, this is still an open investigation and we have many unanswered questions. It would be inappropriate to discuss details of the case with you now.”

“He’s right,” Chris agreed. “I…”

Vin’s cell phone began ringing and interrupted whatever Chris had to say. The distinctive sound of Yellow Rose of Texas playing let him know it was his wife.  “Hey Kel...” he listened intently for a moment, his expression changing to one of concern. “Are you okay?” Another moment of listening and he was nodding. “I’m on my way.”

“Trouble, Vin?” Chris leaned forward and asked.

“Kel’s being treated in the emergency room at Denver Memorial, I gotta go.”

Chris stood up and glanced at Cait. She nodded toward the door. “Go, I’ll talk to you later.”

Leaning down to kiss her, he then hurried out the door and yelled, “Wait up, Vin, I’m going with you.”

Idling the engine, Vin waited for Chris to get in on the passenger side. Once the door closed, he shifted into gear and drove off without saying a word. When he hit the road outside ranch boundaries, he switched on the truck’s strobe lights and increased his speed, the rain preventing him from traveling as fast as he wanted.

The silence between the two men was not their familiar peaceful one, but stiff and uncomfortable. Chris decided enough was enough. “We may be on opposite sides of the fence right now about JD and Casey, but we need to call a truce where Kel’s concerned. What happened to my daughter?”

Vin shook his head. Explaining to Chris without discussing the investigation was impossible, so he chose his words carefully. “She went to lockup today and attempted to question Casey.  Evidently, some kind of incident occurred, Kel was sketchy on the details. They were both injured and transported to Denver Memorial.”

“What kind of incident, an explosion, jail break or what?”

Hesitating a moment, Vin sighed. “Aw to hell with it, you’ll find out soon enough. Casey lost it again and threw a chair though the two-way mirror in her isolation cell. She sliced her wrists and then fought off Kel with a shard of glass until three guards came in to subdue her. While they’re treatin’ Case for attempted suicide, Kel said she only had a few minor cuts herself, and needed me to bring her some more clothes.”

Chris closed his eyes. “First Linda starts rattling her saber about the kids, then Casey attacks JD, and now this. Damn, what’s next?”

“Linda’s back? When did this come about?”

“Not yet, but according to Matt she’s due in any day. She…,” Chris sighed in frustration, “wants custody of the kids. Ezra says I’m on solid ground legally, but she could make herself a nuisance …especially if she gets wind of all that’s taken place since yesterday.”

The threat Linda posed with her presence explained a lot about Chris’s attitude. “No judge in the world would side with her over you…Shit,” Vin yelled, swerving to avoid a collision, and unintentionally, but effectively changed the subject. Another accident on the rain slick freeway had traffic backed up and gawkers slowed down to get a better view. “At this rate it’ll be a fuckin’ hour before we get to the hospital. I hate to think about Kel bein’ alone in that damn emergency room, especially not knowin’ how bad she’s hurt.”

“Buck’s there,” Chris said, pulling out his cell. “I’m sure he’ll go down to check on her and tell her we’re on our way.”  He punched in the number for the hospital and the extension for SICU. “I need to speak with Buck Wilmington, he’s with JD Dunne.” Waiting while the nurse found Buck, he noticed the rain was intensifying.

“Wilmington here,” Buck answered.

“It’s Chris. I need you to run down to the ER and check on Kel for me. She’s been injured and Vin and I are tied up in traffic. Looks as if will be a while before we can get out of this traffic.”

“How bad is she hurt?”

“I don’t know, she didn’t give Vin a lot of details when she called.” Chris exhaled. “Look, she’s probably not seriously injured, but I’d feel better if you’d check on her, at least tell her we’re coming.”

Buck wanted to tell his friend yes, but his fear for JD dictated his response.  Looking back toward the hospital bed, he made a decision. “No Chris...I'm all JD’s got here right now...I won't leave him...at least Kelli's conscious ...and soon she'll have you and Vin...no...I'm staying here...with our boy.” 

Taken back by his response, it hit Chris just how much things had changed in the past twenty-four hours. Hell, any one of them would have checked on the other’s family or another teammate without hesitation and no questions asked ….until now.  He was concerned about JD too, but he was in a drug-induced coma, and probably not even aware Buck was there. Not certain how to respond, he cleared his throat and finally answered, “Sure, you stay with the kid; I’ll see you when we get there.”

“Buck’s still too angry to think straight,” Vin said, overhearing enough to know he refused to leave JD. “I reckon it’ll take a while before he…or any of us come to terms with this.”

“I can understand his anger,” Chris shook his head, “but Kel is not only my daughter and your wife, she’s one of our agents, injured doing her job. I can’t remember any time one of us refused to help a teammate.”

“Let it go, no sense gettin’ in a knot about it,” Vin advised him. “We have enough on our plates without addin’ more hard feelin’s.”

“Maybe,” Chris said softly. He reached over and flipped on the siren. “Get us out of this damn traffic and to the hospital.”

Chapter 11

Reconciling the emotions of our hearts with the voices of reaction we hear in our head is an awesome task. Sometimes the soul must intervene in order to keep us sane.

Denver Memorial

Kelli watched as handcuffed to the gurney, and accompanied by a guard from the jail, the attendants wheeled Casey out of the treatment room. They would keep her on the eighth floor in the psychiatric ward until she recovered, and then send her back to lockup, unless her lawyer was successful in having her moved to a treatment facility. Regardless, for the next seventy-two hours, she would be on lockdown status.

“Your turn, young lady,” Doctor Gilford said, walking up behind Kelli. He guided her into an empty exam room, removed her jacket, and made her sit down He brushed off the visible glass from her head, neck and shoulders. “Let’s see what you’ve done to yourself this time.” Removing the makeshift bandages from her arm and hands, he shook his head. Kelli had a large gash on her forearm and several cuts on her hands. From his experience, he recognized the signs of defensive injuries. “It appears you’ll need a few stitches.” He poured a solution over the wounds.

“Damn, that’s cold,” she yelped. “Where do you keep that stuff… in the freezer?”

Doctor G chuckled. “I have been accused of doing just that. This might take a while; sit still while I remove all the debris from the wounds.” He turned to give orders to the nurse who entered the room. “Place her personal items in a plastic bag and prepare a tray for suturing.” Turning back to Kelli, he asked,” Where is Vin?”

“He’s on his way,” she winced, “that hurt, Doc.” Until he started digging around, she did not realize how deep some of the cuts were. While the doctor worked, he talked softly. Kelli tuned him out and her thoughts went back to Casey, JD, and their children. Suddenly she had a need to be close to her own kids.

Thirty minutes, fourteen stitches, and two shots later, Doctor Gilford was wrapping her hands when Vin and Chris entered the small room.

Vin scanned his surroundings, taking note of the blood on his wife’s clothing, the bandages, and the bloodied, torn jacket on the chair. He moved to stand next to the doctor, but leveled his gaze on her. “I thought you said minor injuries.”

Doctor Gilford answered, “Relax Vin, she’s fine as long as she follows my orders. Although, I see each of you so often, I think I’m going to have to work out some sort of Larabee-Tanner discount on my fees.”

Chris joined them. “You have other patients? I thought we had exclusive use of your services.”

“Hell, Doc, you’re officially listed as our family doctor.” Vin did not take his eyes off his wife. “What does she need to do?”

“She didn’t need tetanus, but I did administer a shot of antibiotics and used a local anesthetic. Keep the wounds dry. The stitches should dissolve in seven to ten days. I’m afraid the injuries will be a little uncomfortable for Kelli the next few days, but I made certain the cuts were clean, so the risk of infection is minimal. Still, I am prescribing an antibiotic, along with a pain reliever, make sure she takes both.” Gilford stood and patted Kelli on the shoulder. “I did my best work, scarring should not be a problem. You take care of yourself, young lady; I do not want you in here as a patient for at least another six months.”

“Thanks Doc,” Kelli answered. She read the concern in her husband’s eyes and was quick to reassure him. “Most of the blood isn’t mine. Except for not being able to use my left arm and hand for a few days, I’m all right.”

Chris stepped back with the doctor to give Vin room to help Kelli. “Doc, how come you’re so much nicer to Kel than you are with me or Vin?”

Grinning he replied, “She’s prettier than either of you and listens to me, something you should learn to do, Larabee.”  Handing Chris the written prescriptions and release papers he turned back to address Vin and Kelli. “If you have any questions, call me. Now, contrary to what you might think, I do have other patients.”  With a nod to them all, he left the room.

“How bad?” Vin asked.

“Fourteen stitches, but spread out, no nerve damage, a few nicks and small cuts from the glass.” She pointed out the injuries to her forearm and the ones on her hands. “It’s not that bad.”

“It could have been,” Vin said, setting a bag on the counter. “I brought the change of clothes you keep in the truck.” Picking up a plastic bag with her badge, gun, keys, cell phone, notepad, and an envelope inside, he looked at her. “Is this everythin’ from your jacket?”

“Yeah, my truck’s parked at the federal building and the cashier’s check for Banks is the envelope. The jacket needs to be trashed.”

Chris picked it up and dropped in the wastebasket. “Did and done,” he hesitated before asking, “What about Casey?” he turned his back to them while Vin helped her change her shirt.

“She lost a lot of blood, but the last I saw of her she was stable. They took her up to the psyche ward and put her on seventy-two hour observation hold.”

Vin buttoned her blouse, threw the old one in the garbage and assisted her up. “I need to contact Barlow at the U.S. Attorney’s office, he’s expecting us at the courthouse in…” he looked at his watch, “twenty minutes.”

“Damn Cait and Nettie are probably on their way to the courthouse, too.” Chris decided he needed to be the one to call her. “I’ll break the news to them; you take care of the attorney. I want to check on JD before we leave and have a word with Buck, but you’re wiped out, Vin. I did manage to get a couple hours sleep off and on last night, so I’ll drive you two home.” Leaning down he kissed Kelli on the cheek. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

SICU Unit

Chris felt older than his years. His call to Cait was difficult. Nettie took it hard about Casey, and was devastated to learn there would be no visitation allowed. Hell, the past sixteen hours alone had aged him ten years, he had no idea how Nettie was holding up. He walked into the unit and went over to JD’s bedside.

“No change,” Buck commented. “I thought maybe…but, damn I hate to see him like this.”

“Yeah,” Chris nodded, “me too.”  Looking at Buck, he tilted his head toward the door. “I need to speak to you a minute. JD will be okay, until you get back.”

Walking out into the hall, Chris led Buck to a quiet area before saying what was on his mind. “I realize how upset you are, hell, we all are, but…aside from the fact we’re all supposed to be family, we are also a team. You want to ignore my family, that’s your choice. However, the next time one of our teammates ends up in the ER because they are doing their job, and you’re requested to do so, I expect you to find a way to check on them. Are we clear Agent Wilmington?”

“You didn’t say Kel was on duty,” Buck said defensively.

“I didn’t think I had to,” Chris countered; certain he had made his point. “You go back in with JD. I’m taking a room at the hotel across the street tonight. I expect you to come over and get some rest before morning.”

Buck nodded. “I’ll see how the Kid does the rest of the day and call you later.” He started to walk away and turned back. “Is Kel okay?”

“This time, yes,” he answered. “I’ll call you when I check in tonight.”  Watching Buck return to the SICU, Chris shook his head. *God, would their lives ever be the same again?*

~~~7~~~

The moment the three of them left the hospital and were secluded in Vin’s truck, husband Vin disappeared and Captain Tanner appeared. The shift supervisor from the jail had met him in the ER with the report and video. After hearing the details of the incident at the jail, and viewing the attack on tape on the portable player the agent had furnished, Vin was furious. “What the hell were you thinkin’, Agent Coulter? Casey is a prisoner charged with attempted murder. After seein’ that damn DVD, I’d think you’d remember that. You forgot though, and it could have cost you your life if things had gone differently!”

“Don’t you think I know that? I screwed up and have no problem admittin’ it. Are you happy now?”

“Hell no, I’m not happy,” Vin yelled. “I don’t care who the fuck is in that jail cell, you will follow procedure or find yourself sittin’ behind a desk for the next ten years. Are we clear on that?”

“Yes sir, Sir, crystal clear,” Kelli snapped.

“Time out,” Chris shouted. “You both need to take a deep breath. We all make mistakes on this job. Vin, you know that as well as anyone. Kel, while you’re healing, you need to review what you did and make sure something like this does not happen again.” Travis’s words rang in his head.  ‘Like it or not you set the tone the others will follow.’ Giving them a chance to cool off he continued. “This is not an ideal situation for any of us and I’m as guilty as any one of letting my feelings get in the way of good sense. You two have a job to do, and I’ll try like hell to stay out of your way, but I have to know something. What DVD are you referring to?”

Vin closed his eyes and cursed himself. He had not intended for Chris or anyone else to know about that DVD unless necessary. “Apparently Casey set up a couple more cameras in the house…reckon her paranoia compelled her to do it. Anyway, the one in the kitchen caught her attack on JD. Kel and I had to watch it, but if I have my way about it, no one else will ever see it.”

“God, it must have been….”

“It was,” Kelli said and then sighed. “I’m sorry Vin. I should have been more professional with Casey. I have a hard time though, thinking of her as dangerous.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I yelled at you.” He put his arm around her. “I think we both need some sleep and a few hours away from all this.”

Chris was relieved. “Then, we fill the scripts, go home, and you two can get some rest. Tomorrow we’ll start over.”

Hotel- 10:00 p.m.

Back at home, Chris hoped to have a few minutes of peace and quiet, but fate had other ideas. When he picked up his mail a large brown envelope from a law firm drew his attention. After ripping it open, a knot formed in his stomach, which refused to go away. Linda had wasted no time. He was on official notice; she was taking him to court over the issue of child custody. He called Ezra to tell him, and waited until Grace and Cody were down for the night before leaving. Now, standing here in an empty hotel room he wondered just what the hell he was doing.

The weight of all that had happened over the past twenty- four hours was suddenly very heavy. He was confused about his feelings and just plain tired. Quickly making a call to the hospital, he reached Buck. “Hey, I’m in room 2216, across the street. Yell when you’re ready for me to take watch.”

“I will, but, I hate to think about leaving,” he forestalled Chris’s lecture, “but I will call you before morning.”

“Make sure you do that…” A knock at the door drew his attention. “I’ll let you go.”

Striding over to the door, Chris was prepared to chew out whoever was knocking, certain he or she had the wrong room. He opened the door, and was shocked to find Caitlyn standing in the hall.

“You are the last person I expected at my door tonight.”

“Should I leave?”

“Not on your life,” Chris said softly. “Come here, woman.” He drew her into his arms to claim an eager kiss.

He was shaking, but she instinctively realized it was more than passion affecting him. Laying her head on his chest she whispered, “Are you all right?”

“Yes…no…hell, I don’t know. Nothing seems right. My whole world is off kilter and I don’t know how to make it good again.”

“Let me help, you’re exhausted, and need to relax.” Cait took his hand and led him to the bedroom; they dropped discarded clothing along the way.

Laying there, naked, in the darkness, Cait held Chris close. His breathing was shaky and she could feel the struggle within him. She had already made her decision before coming here and knew it was right.

She touched his face, tilted his head upward from where he lay nestled against her breasts, and kissed him tenderly. He returned her kisses, deepening them as she felt him growing hard against her thighs. He broke away.

“This isn't right…JD…so much pain for everyone.”

“Chris,” she whispered softly, “this isn't about sex; this is about two souls merging. You need comfort…I want to give it. Just let go.”

She gasped as he captured her mouth in a fierce kiss, her body tingled with the way he excited her. She understood instinctively this was going to be guided more by Chris's inner turmoil rather than love, but she *did* love him, and she was prepared.

Consumed with passion, her words freed his soul and his body responded. The darkness suited his mood as he chewed and sucked Cait's heaving breasts, his mouth devouring her body with a hunger he could no longer control. He worked his way to her thighs and sucked at her sodden center in a frenzied attack. Cait cried out his name as she came fast and hard.

In seconds, Chris was all over her, rolling her around as he nipped, licked and bit at sweat-dampened skin, his lover fighting to contain him. Chris pushed Cait onto her back. Feeling her legs opening wide, he pushed his hands under her buttocks, tilting her just enough to take her, hard and deep.

They both groaned at how wonderful coming together felt and held for a moment, their breaths shuddering as their faces drew close.

“I love being with you, Cait,” Chris breathed, his groin grinding into hers in anticipation.

*And I love you,* she thought to herself, knowing his words were spoken in the heat of the moment.

They kissed, sensually, and then he thrust hard, grunting with the effort as she cried out from the force. To make sure he knew it would be okay, Cait bit his ear, starting a roller coaster of emotions. The man she loved pounded into her, crying out her name as his demons overtook him.  Trying desperately to meet the challenge, she pushed herself off the bed with her heels while her body drove into him harder and harder, meeting his thrusts stroke for stroke.

Chris was moving faster and harder, his body dripped with sweat. Never had he made love like this and he was at the mercy of whatever was driving him. When Cait cried out and her body quivered violently, he felt the rush to his head as his body screamed out its euphoria. His seed emptied within her while he took pleasure burying himself deep inside this amazing woman…

He had thought they could just be friends, but God, she was so damn easy to love…

It took some time for their orgasms to diminish, leaving them soaked, exhausted…, and emotional. Chris drew Caitlyn close and kissed her tenderly. Even in the darkness, he felt her tears and he kissed her soaked eyelids.

“I'm so sorry,” he breathed, his whole body shaking as the experience took its toll.

Cait kissed him back, her hand softly stroking his damp blond hair. “Don't be…” she sighed, “You needed this…I wanted this. There is nothing you can do that will hurt me, because I know you care about me.”

Larabee kissed her passionately. “Oh God yes…yes I do.”

Their lovemaking this time was slow, soft, and sensual. Later, with Chris asleep in her arms; she thanked God she was able to be here for him.

Chapter 12

Secrets, lies, and fears ~ a guaranteed formula for grief and pain.

Denver Memorial ~ 5:00 a.m. Wednesday, May 28th

With a lingering kiss, and clinging hands that needed to be tactile, Chris and Cait parted company in front of the hotel. He watched her as she walked away. God, he wanted her; she brought total contentment and adult love back into his life. But, what could he offer her? She left for home, and he walked across the street to the hospital. He picked up two cups of coffee from the Java stand in the lobby, on his way upstairs.

Reflecting on the events of the past two days, he still had trouble reconciling his feelings. 'Commander Larabee' shouted orders in his head, telling him he needed to lead by example. Chris 'the father' was terrified of losing his youngest children and for the well-being of his eldest. The brother part of him desperately felt JD’s pain, worried about Vin mentally having to deal with the investigation, and Buck wrapped up in his anger. As a friend, he felt deep concern for Nettie and … yes, Casey, too. She had committed the unspeakable crime, but damnit, she was still the child he watched grow up and the mother of those beautiful babies. How the hell had it come to this?  What in God's name, could he do?

Pushing the door open with his hip, Chris went straight to JD’s bedside. Using the toe of his boot to rouse a sleeping Buck, he said quietly, “Brought you some coffee.”

“Damn, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Looking over at JD, he wiped his hand over his face and sighed. “I don’t think he’s moved all night.”

“You need some decent rest.” Chris sat down. “Go over to the hotel, I’ll be here. Inez sent you a change of clothes. Give her a call, shower, and then sleep. If anything changes, I’ll phone you.”

Buck hesitated, looking at JD. “I don’t know…maybe I…”

“No arguments. You have not left this hospital since you rode in with JD. Go and don’t come back until I call you.”

Nodding, Buck stood, leaned over and whispered to JD, “I’ll be back,” then he walked out of the room.

Chris leaned back in the chair, propped up his feet and settled in for the day.

Standish Home ~8:00 a.m.

“Four o’clock then, thank you,” Ezra told custody attorney Robert Eaves, hanging up the phone. Although he was confidant that the legality of the papers Linda signed would hold up in court, where she was concerned he would take no chances, especially now with the potential of a family scandal imminent.

“‘Robert agreed to help?” Barbara asked, entering his home office.

“Yes he did.” He sighed deeply. “Thanks to Casey, we may be in for a helluva court battle before this is over.”

Barbara’s head snapped up. “You can’t possibly think her mental problems could be used against Chris.”

They had been at odds on this issue already. “Mental problems? Is that what we are calling attempted murder now?” Ezra shook his head. “Regardless, Linda’s attorneys are going to argue that Larabee 7 is an unsafe environment for her children. Casey’s ‘problems’ are the icing on the cake for their lawsuit and they will damn well use her situation to make their case stronger. The breech the Rocky Mountain Resistance made onto the property, JD’s arrest for suspicion of murder, Chris’s arrest, his subsequent imprisonment, albeit brief, the shooting on the access road leading to the ranch, Kelli and Trey kidnapped …I expect all of it to be dredged up in the course of battle.”

She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Chris is lucky to have you fighting for him. A man who can survive the manipulations of Maude Standish can definitely handle Linda Larabee.”

“Failure is not an option. It would destroy Chris, and I will not allow that to happen.”

Camp Larabee ~ 9:00 a.m.

Mark Ramsey, holding the evidence box, waited beside the MAU for Tanner to unlock the building.

Vin opened the truck door for Kelli, grabbed his report off the seat and said, “Mornin” Mark,” as he walked past him. “Sorry you had to wait on us.”

“My fault, I’m afraid.” Kelli smiled at him. “Vin had to do double duty at home this mornin’ due to my injuries.”

Following her inside, Mark answered, “No problem. I like coming out here. It beats being in the lab.”  He set the box on the table. “I understand from Travis that Josiah and Mallory are joining us.”

“Yep, they should be along any time now.”  Vin headed to the coffeemaker to make a fresh pot. “Orrin thought it best we keep this out of the main office. Mallory will be tracking information on CASSIE and Josiah will pull together a profile for us.”

“What do you need me to do?” Mark asked.

“Pull out the case board.” Tanner instructed him. “I want everythin’ we find on JD and Casey Dunne recorded. If…when this gets before a judge, I don’t want any questions about how we conducted this investigation.”

“And if the evidence proves she knew what she was doing? In order to commit a crime in the eyes of the law all we have to do is prove mens rea …..” Mark started to explain.

“Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea , “Kelli quoted the entire Latin passage, “ the act does not make a person guilty unless the mind is also guilty, but a guilty mind or intent is for a judge or jury to decide, Mark. We’ll let the lawyers sort through the facts. Our job is to investigate and present our findin’s without prejudice, period.”

“Not an easy task, under the circumstances, but doable,” Josiah said, as he and Mallory walked in and joined them.

“Coffee’s ready, grab a cup and we’ll bring y’all up to speed on where we are.” Vin set a cup in front of his wife.

“When we dropped our kids off at the Reins Daycare, Cait said to tell you that Willard and Jesse will take care of the chores over at the Wells’ place.” After passing Mallory a cup, Josiah sat down. “So where are we?”

“Mark will give you a rundown of what he found at the scene. We have Casey’s journal, a short preliminary report, the added charges from the assault on Kel, and our notes.” Vin answered. “Attorney Barlow also sent over a copy of Casey’s medical records. Mallory, we’ll need information on the Dunne’s financials.”  He sighed when her face reflected her discomfort. “I understand your reluctance, but it’s what we’d do in a normal investigation, so we’ll follow procedure.”

Tanner stood, picked up a marker and walked over to the case board. “Let’s get started.”

~~~7~~~

Josiah studied the board. Over the past four hours they had reconstructed what he felt was an accurate account of the past few months. “I think we have a clearer picture of Casey’s demise. The trigger appears to be when the FBI invaded her home and hauled JD off in handcuffs.”

“That’s why her journal starts in October and she started keeping her money separate from JD’s?” Mallory asked.

“Yes.” Josiah shook his head. “Before her initial shock wore off and she had an opportunity to process what happened, she found out about her pregnancy, JD was stabbed in jail, and she had to split her time between worrying over him and dealing with her feelings of guilt for not being with the girls. She did better once JD came home, but when he returned to work, her fear rushed back to manifest into depression and bouts of delusions, which intensified over the next few months.”

“So, she knew somethin’ was wrong and agreed to see Doctor Ward, the psychiatrist, when her obstetrician made the recommendation. He started her on a mild anti-depressant because of her pregnancy and once she suffered the trauma of premature birth and surgery, he changed it to an antipsychotic, which we can prove she stopped takin’.” Vin mused.

“It was during the time between January and March that she added the cameras, bought a gun, hid weapons, and her behavior became more erratic. I believe after JJ was born, she went from mild to major depression to psychosis and finally snapped when she thought the feds took JD again.” Josiah offered his expert observation. “Doctors don’t understand a lot about the causes of psychosis. The explanations are fluid, some experts say depression triggers the onset, and some think it’s related to a predisposition for bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Still others think the very medication used to treat depression cause it. When Casey quit taking her prescribed meds, it did not help.”

Mallory looked at her notes. “JD spent an average of fifty-eight hours a week at the office since his return to work.” She pointed to the line representing his actions. “The time they were together was limited, and if he was aware of Casey’s unusual behavior, he probably counted it as a side-effect of her pregnancy.”

“I missed the signs with JD. What Ice did to him affected him more than we realized. His obsession with breaking her code for Chris, the long hours at the office…”Josiah sighed. “It was his way of dealing with the trauma and I should have seen the signs.”

“We all missed ‘em, Josiah,” Vin patted his shoulder, and sighed heavily, “just like we missed seein’ that Casey was in trouble.”

Walter walked in with lunch for them and they took a break. Vin sent Mark back to the lab, and when it was only family left in the room, they discussed the one unconfirmed issue in Casey’s journal. Casey had documented her days away from the ranch earlier in the month with her friend Rebecca Lanski. She described her one night fling with a male stripper in explicit detail.

“What do we do about this confession?” Kelli looked around the table. “Do we have to put it in the report?”

“An extra marital fling fits in with the behavior pattern Casey was exhibiting. Hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, depression, and mania all play into the psychosis.” Josiah offered his opinion. “I think if we can confirm her affair with this Antonio Wendell, we should.”

Mallory handed the information she had obtained on Wendell from CASSIE to Vin.

Reluctant to admit the need to do so, he nodded, “I reckon Josiah and I need to track him down and talk to him.” Vin locked his eyes on Kelli. “We can pray it never comes out publically.”

“Yeah…” Kelli sighed. “None of us saw this side of Casey before now. God, I hope JD and the kids never will.”

Mallory offered, “We’ll finish up here. You two go talk to Antonio; I’ll make sure Kel gets home.”

Vin hesitated. He knew Kelli was upset over their discoveries about Casey’s behavior. It was too close to the depression she had undergone after Ice put them through hell. Still, Kelli’s background and life experiences were very different from Casey’s. She would never have gone that far, it just was not in her character, and she needed reminding again. “We’ll take my truck and pick up the Navigator while we’re out.” He turned to Kelli. “Walk out with me.”

Outside they walked toward the corral. “We talked about this before, but it appears you need a reminder. You are not Casey and never would have done what she did, regardless of the circumstances.”

Quiet for a moment, she nodded and then sighed. “I just cannot imagine… resentin’ my newborn instead of an accident for causing a hysterectomy…leavin’ you and my babies, havin’ a fling …comin’ home and actin’ as if nothin’ happened.” She met his eyes. “God, Vin, how could she get to that point without any of us seein’ her pain? How in the hell can they ever go back?”

Drawing her close he wrapped his arms around his wife. “I don’t know, Baby, but this family is strong. We’ll all find a way to deal with whatever comes.” Swatting her on the butt, he smiled. “Let Mallory help you, take your antibiotic, and don’t use your hands. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“I’ll be all right. Go do what you have to.”  Kelli watched him leave with Josiah and then went back inside. She and Mallory still had reports to write and evidence to lock up before they could go home.

Denver Memorial Hospital ~ 4:00 p.m.

Larabee jerked awake. A little disorientated, he scanned his surroundings, finally resting his eyes on JD. Looking at his watch he realized he had only been asleep for a few minutes, but he felt as if he had slept for hours…not that he was refreshed, more like, muzzy, the sort of feeling you get when your body craves for more rest…yet…can't.

The last thoughts he remembered having were of the team's early days and a fresh-faced rookie who had been desperate to work alongside him…who he'd taken on and, consequently, watched grow into the man JD was today. Now he wondered how that same man was going to get through this… how they all were.

Chris stretched and yawned as Doctor Gilford stepped into the room. He waited while he performed the hourly check. Little noises and movements from the doctor he had not been aware of last time, drew his attention.

Gilford said. “His stats have improved.”

Chris stood and approached the bed, unable to stop his hand from resting on his young brother's head. “What are you saying?”

The doctor checked the time. “It's coming up on four o’clock. I'm going to start reducing his meds now, and take the vent out in an hour. If all is well, I'll reduce them a little more. It should be around eight this evening before JD starts to return to awareness, but  to stay on the safe side, call your family and tell them to come by seven.”

Chris released the breath he had been holding. “He's improving?”

Gilford smiled. “Yes. He's progressing faster than I had anticipated.” He patted Chris's hand. “This is good. He may not be fully aware until the early hours of the morning, but he's stable enough to allow him to start the process.” He turned to go to the door. “I'll ask the nurse to bring the portable phone in here for you.”

Once the doctor left, Chris turned his attention to the young man in the bed and whispered, “About damn time, Kid.”

He thanked the nurse for the phone, made himself comfortable, and began calling his brothers.

Hotel

“I miss you, mi amore, be strong.”

Buck closed his eyes to allow the warmth of his wife's voice to wash over him. She may only be on the end of a phone, but her strength and compassion was as strong as if she was standing beside him. He had been in Chris's hotel room for several hours, but not slept as long as he'd hoped, because every time he closed his eyes, he saw JD, lying in a pool of blood. He startled as his cell vibrated on the nightstand “Just a minute, darlin',” he spoke into the phone to Inez.

Leaning over, he recognized the hospital number on the caller Id and his hearted raced.  He flipped open his cell. “Chris?”

“Buck? There’s no urgency, but, JD's improved and the doc is ready to reduce his meds…”

Before Chris could finish, Buck confirmed he was on his way, making a move as soon as the blond concluded the call.

“Okay, see you soon, pard.”

In seconds, he switched back to the other phone, elated by the news he spoke into the landline. “Inez…”

“I heard marido. Go…and tell JD we love him.”

In five minutes, Buck was washed, dressed and on his way to the hospital.

~~~7~~~

Vin called on every ounce of self-control he possessed to keep from hitting Antonio Wendell. When the man recognized the picture of Casey and commented about the sweetest piece of ass he had fucked in months, only Josiah’s presence and strong arm kept Tanner from turning loose on him. They were returning to the truck when Vin's cell rang.

“Tanner,” he snapped. “Chris?” he listened, and looked at Josiah. The expression on his face told the profiler there was good news.

“Josiah's with me, we'll come as soon as possible. Chris…thanks for lettin’ me know.” Closing his cell, he turned to the profiler. Despite the relief of knowing JD was improving, it did not ease the fear of how all this would play out, once his younger brother understood the full horror of what had happened to him.

Josiah's hand rested on his arm. “We're all in this together, Brother. Come on…let's go and be a family again.”

Tanner nodded and made a quick call to Kelli to tell her what was happening, while Josiah did the same with Mallory. A few minutes later, they were on their way to Denver Memorial, swinging by the Federal building to pick up the Navigator.

Jackson Home

Watching Nathan playing with the children, Rain smiled. It was good to see him relaxing, but her heart ached, knowing how distraught he was over JD's attack. Her thoughts drifted to Casey. She had known the young woman almost as long as she had known Nathan. Both women were part of Team Seven’s history, and been included in the extended family the longest. Rain was already missing her friend. They had grown up on their mutual journey to what was now the Wild Bunch, shared the team's pain and injuries, cried and laughed together. Rain had not seen JD yet. She was just about to tackle Nathan on visiting the young man when his cell rang.

He stood and moved to answer it. She formed a smile when she read his changed expression as good news. Once he had hung up the phone, Nathan approached his wife and pulled her to her feet, hugging her tightly. Then he kissed her, leaving her giddy and breathless. He gazed into Rain's eyes, his face right next to hers. “I need to go back to the hospital.”

“He's improving?”

Nathan nodded. “Yes.”

Rain kissed Nathan softly on the lips and stroked his cheek. “Go, and give him my love.”

Law office of Robert Eaves

Ezra sat in his car, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. His meeting with Robert Eaves had gone well, but they both conceded that a helluva fight was coming. Just talking to the custody lawyer about the Larabee babies hit every raw emotion he possessed. Privately he shed the tears he had held back for too long. The events of the past few days washing over him, Chris…Linda…JD…Casey…all the innocent children involved …it was too damn much. He dialed  a familiar number on his cell.

Barbara was sitting in their living room going over some paperwork when the phone rang. Her unease was evident as she heard Ezra repeat his concerns, waiting for an appropriate break in the conversation.

“Darling, listen to me. You are not weak, you’re only human. This situation is hell for everyone. Chris, JD, and the others need you, not because you are strong and noble, but because you care, and no matter how much you try to hide it, it shows in everything you do. That's the person your family is depending on, Sweetheart.”

Sighing deeply, he knew she was right. He needed to pull himself together and his family deserved it. “I love you, Barbara Standish. I think I’ll swing by the hospital on my way home.”

“I’ll talk to you, later, bye, Love.” Before she had even replaced the handset, Barbara was weeping. This was such a mess…such a Goddamn, heart-wrenching mess.

No sooner had he made his decision, his cell began to ring. Ezra answered abruptly, “Standish.” Hearing Chris’s voice, he assumed he wanted a report from his meeting with the attorney. “I…what? That is wonderful news. I’m on my way.”

Replacing the handset, Chris sat back, unable to prevent a small smile from escaping as he looked at JD and squeezed his hand. “Your brothers are on their way. No matter how rough it gets, we’re still seven strong and one way or another we always will be.”

Chapter 13

When families are involved, the actions of one touch all.

Denver Memorial Hospital

The nurse smiled when Doctor Gilford entered JD's room. Gently carding her fingers through the unconscious man's hair, she spoke to him in soft whispers as his brothers’ did during their visits. “Time to wake up now, John…the doc says you're strong enough to breathe on your own, so he's going to remove the vent, and take you down a few notches on your meds. You're doing well and your family is looking forward to speaking to you.”

Talking his patient through each step, Gilford disconnected the ventilator; his final act was to remove the tube from JD's throat. It was all Buck and Chris could do to stand in silence and watch. The emotional anticipation of waiting for JD to take his first unassisted breath, almost finished off their nerves, but he took it, then another, and another. Buck's heart caught in his throat as he watched, while he moved closer.

Buck stood over the younger man and gripped JD's arm, resting his other hand on the young man’s head. His face was only inches from JD's. He waited…and suddenly… a tiny movement of an eyebrow …. A nose wrinkle…he was coming back to them. “Breathe, JD…breathe.”

JD's legs moved lazily under the covers and small movements on his face became more frequent. Buck leaned in; no way was he going to miss this moment. “Come on, kid…you're doing good…listen to my voice, okay…fight the haze and open your eyes…come on, JD…keep trying.”

Chris stood on the opposite side of the bed with a hand resting on JD's leg. With his heart in his throat, he watched the drama unfold.

Buck spoke again, “Hey…JD…come on…you're almost here.” He smiled broadly when black lashes fluttered open to reveal unfocused hazel eyes.

“Buck?” His voice was barely audible, but both men heard it. “Hurtsss…”

Resting his head against JD's, Buck whispered, “I know, son, but it's gonna get better, I promise.”

JD swallowed and drifted back to sleep.

Doctor Gilford coughed; both men had forgotten he was still in the room. “Let's get him to his own room, shall we?”

~~~7~~~

The wall clock read six forty-five. Evening had drawn in, the darkness outside adding to the intensity of the atmosphere inside the waiting room, while Gilford performed another hourly check.

They all glanced up when Josiah began speaking, “A friend of mine, Father Rafferty, has become well acquainted with JD during the past month. I wondered if it might help to ask him to assist in the counseling JD will need.”

Buck shrugged. “If you think so, but JD's faith hasn't really been a comfort for him since his ma died.”

Sanchez sighed, fighting with his conscience for a few moments, before deciding if it would be in JD's best interests to disclose any more information. The boy would have precious few secrets left soon. “JD shared something with me a month back. I found him in the bathroom at work one afternoon, clearly distressed. I'm guessing my timing assisted his decision to tell me, because I’m certain he did not intend to divulge this to anyone at that time, not even you, Buck, or Nettie.”

Buck took a seat, his stomach was in knots, and his knees weakened, fearing another unsettling revelation was forthcoming.

Josiah continued, “The previous evening, Casey had been admonishing the children when became agitated, resulting in her smacking Lilah… hard.”

They all took in a sharp breath.

“JD said he scooped up all three children and took them to the girls' room, hissing to Casey not follow them until she pulled herself together. He stayed with the kids all night. The next morning, he found her sitting on the floor of their bathroom. She apparently flew to him and begged his forgiveness; assuring him she had never done something like that before, and promised it would never happen again.”

“Who had the kids that morning?” Chris asked.

“Nettie did, and I understand Cait also dropped around. I believe he told them Casey was unwell.”

For a minute, no one spoke. Vin looked at Josiah. They both understood how hard it was becoming to shield their family from all the sordid details.

“So…are you saying JD has resumed as a…” Buck tried to find the right words, but they would not come to him.

Josiah stopped him. “No, he hasn't reaffirmed his faith. However, he became grateful for the help of my friend. It wasn't exactly ‘confession’, but the familiarity of it all seemed to help him considerably. Albert is a wonderful listener.” Josiah looked at Buck and Chris. “He told me he was going to talk with you both very soon. I'm sorry I had to tell you before he had the chance. Buck, I promise you, that is the only thing he has never shared with you…he…he didn't know how.”

“You can go back in now.”

They all startled when Doctor Gilford spoke behind them. Buck and Chris stood and passed him as they went back to JD's bedside. Once inside, Buck broke down. Chris put an arm around him, exchanging no words, two old friends, together, and drawing comfort from each other's presence.

Buck took a seat next to the bed and waited breathlessly. Never before had he looked forward to and yet dreaded an event so much. He desperately wanted his little brother back with them, but Lord only knew how JD was going to react when he realized what had happened to him. He took JD's hand once again and relaxed back in the chair. Soon, they would be seven again.

~~~7~~~

It was only the tiniest of movements, but Buck noticed. He leaned forward in his chair to make certain he was not hallucinating. Chris, alerted by the brunet's demeanor, checked his watch, seven forty-five. He poked his head out of the door, gave his four brothers one quick nod, and went back inside the room.

Six men sat waiting in JD's private room for the young agent to wake again, Chris gestured with his head for Buck to come away from the bed.

“God knows, I don't need this, but…let me be the one to tell him what happened…if he asks, okay?”

Buck frowned. “Why?” He looked deep into the man's eyes…and understood. “Okay.”

They all turned toward the bed as the softest of moans could be heard, all standing instantly. Chris moved in and leaned over the younger man.

“JD...Come on, son…it's Chris…time to wake up.”

He did not want to… no matter what the voice said. He was happy in this dark place…no pain, no tiredness, only peace and quiet, but…the voice…the respect he had for that voice, drew him back and he opened his eyes and sighed softly.

“Chris? You okay?”

Larabee tried to smile. “Sure, I am…how are you?” His heart ached to see the confusion on the face of the younger man, offering him a few ice chips.

His head felt odd and his body heavy. Had the alarm gone off for work? He could not have slept too well if he felt like this when he woke up. Jeez, he was dry…Hope Casey had the coffee on.

“C…Cas…ey?”

Chris squeezed his shoulder. “No, kid…it's me, Chris.”

JD's brow furrowed, trying to focus on the face before him. “Chris…? Wh…what are you doing in my be…edroom?” He groaned when he attempted to move. “Damn… hurts. Why are you here? Where…where's Casey?”

Chris could hear the little noises from the others and drew his gaze away from his injured friend. He glanced around the room, noting the other men’s anguish, and turned back to JD. He had hoped he would not have to answer this question so soon. He took a deep breath.

“You're in the hospital. You’re hurt very bad, Son. Casey…Casey isn't here right now, but all your brothers are…me, Buck, Vin, Ezra, Josiah, Nathan…we're all here for you…do you hear me? I need you to stay with me, JD…just for a minute.” Chris's voice was soft but oozed authority.

JD looked into intense green eyes, his body shaking now. “Chris…you're scaring me…what…?” He shook his head. “Hurt…? Why…why…. isn't Casey here?  Is she hurt too?  Oh God, my kids!  Are they okay?  I was…” he screwed up his face as he tried to remember, vaguely aware of strong arms embracing him. “She was…I was home…she…”

Larabee leaned right in. “Can you remember going home from work, Son? Try hard now…do you remember?” JD closed his eyes to think, opening them again, but was still puzzled.

Chris watched as JD's eyes widened, his memories rushing back.  The trembles racking the young man’s body when his breathing quickened concerned him. Chris held firm, waiting for the torrent of emotion about to release, trying to ignore Buck's soft sobs as he remained focused on the job in hand. He felt JD fist his shirtfront.

“I…I was late…kids…asleep…I don’t think Nettie was home…” He concentrated harder…something…something…”Casey … cutting…”

Not one of the six men would ever forget that moment…the awful moment when John Daniel Dunne's world came crashing down around him.

JD was staring at Chris, his head shaking; he mouthed the word “no” repeatedly.

Chris nodded. “I'm so sorry, Son.”

The wail from JD made six men's blood run cold. Chris pulled him to his chest and held him as if both their lives depended on it. Riding out the anguished cries, shaking, and his initial fight to break free, Chris held firm, his own emotions coming to the fore. He knew this must be hurting JD physically, as much as it was emotionally, but this was the right thing to do.

With one hand, he cradled the back of JD's head and drew him closer. “Let it out, boy…just…let it out.”

There was not one dry eye among them while they watched the scene before them unfold. Chris 'hard-ass' Larabee, holding onto and attempting to soothe a young man they had all grown to love as a brother. This was no time for being strong, this was a time for grieving, and they did… together.

Josiah moved to embrace a distraught Buck, pulling Vin in too, as he became very aware of the younger man's distress. Nathan and Ezra moved closer and joined the small huddle, only moving when a sobbing JD suddenly went limp.

Feeling JD's body go slack, Chris gently lowered him back on the bed, touching his face. He worried about what was happening, while he pressed the buzzer to call for assistance.

In less than a minute, Gilford entered the room and examined JD. He looked at them all. “He's fine, just exhausted, and he will probably sleep through the night. His temperature is a little high, but the stitches held. Good work.”

Once he left, the six men moved to the bed, each one laying a hand on an arm or a leg trying to comfort a sleeping JD and themselves. An unexpected move and JD's eyes fluttered open, his chin wobbled as he glanced at them. He hoarsely whispered, “You're all here…”

“Yeah, we're all here,” Buck leaned in closer, “we ain't gonna leave you, Kid.”

JD swallowed, nodding as he drifted back to sleep.

Ezra croaked out. “And so, it begins.”

Sanchez Home ~ 7:00 A.M. Thursday, May 29th 

Sitting at the kitchen table in the quiet of the morning, Josiah read over his notes in silence. The past three days had been hard on all of them, especially last night. It would take time to heal the emotional wounds left in the wake of Casey’s breakdown. For her, JD, their children, and all who cared about them, the next days, weeks, and months would be difficult.

Mallory entered the room, leaned down and kissed her husband. “You’re up early.”

“I couldn’t sleep. Too much on my mind, I suppose.”

“I tried to wait up for you, but I guess I was more tired than I thought.” Mallory poured herself a cup of coffee and refreshed his. “How did it go at the hospital last night?”

Josiah sighed. “JD did fine coming off the vent…then he started asking questions. Chris chose to answer the tough ones. It was hard…emotional, and heartbreaking.”

She laid her hand on his arm, hearing the pain in his voice. “I can’t imagine how that poor boy feels.”

“For a moment, I thought we would all be able to pull together. Hell, for a short time we did, until Doctor Gilford ran us out of the room and told us to decide on one person to stay.” Josiah shook his head. “It got ugly quick. Buck insisted he was staying. Chris argued that he needed to go home for a while to see Inez and the kids before coming back today.  Nathan and Ezra both offered to stay so Chris and Buck could leave for a bit.” He sighed again. “That did not go over well. Brother Buck can be stubborn. “

“I take it Buck stayed.”

“Yes, but not before lambasting Vin when he said he was coming back today to question JD. The shit hit the fan when Buck told him to stay the hell away from the Kid, Vin insisted it was part of his job…they almost came to blows before Chris stepped in to stop them.” 

Mallory sipped her coffee, frowning. “Where does Chris stand on all this?”

“It’s hard to tell. I don’t think even he knows how he feels. At least he did collar the doctor and asked about questioning JD. In spite of Buck’s objections, Gilford said he understood the necessity of it, but requested Tanner wait until after morning rounds to do it.” Josiah took a sip of coffee. “Vin and I are going together to the hospital. If JD is up to it, we’ll question him, and get it over with.”

Mallory stood and headed toward the refrigerator. “If you’re going into battle with Buck, you’ll need substance. I’ll fix breakfast; you work on your notes.”

Josiah grinned. “Woman you know me too well.”  He picked up his notepad; determine to find ways to help his brothers heal.

Tanner Home ~ 7:00 a.m.

Vin took his time at the barn, tending to the horses. He was not anxious to go back to the house and face Kelli. After leaving the hospital last night, he allowed his out of control emotions to get the better of him. Anger, worry, frustration and being tired of it all were no excuse for his behavior, but it was the only one he had. While he forked the hay into Peso’s stall, Vin closed his eyes, his mind assaulted by how he had taken Kelli hard and fast, no foreplay, no gentle nudges, only brute force, and a hunger to be satisfied...to take him out of his misery.

It was late and he was still angry about the argument with Buck. When he walked into their bedroom, he was surprised to find that Kelli had waited up for him. Maybe because he knew she would let him or …hell, maybe it was because he was being a bastard. Whatever the reason, he used sex to vent all the emotions that had been building inside him for the past three days. He was wild, rough, aggressive, and insensitive. He took without giving a damn thing in return and did not consider her injuries. She gave him everything he demanded and more, leaving him sated and weak. Although she had every right to be angry, she snuggled up to him and went to sleep afterwards without uttering one word of complaint. On the other hand, he had lain awake for most of the night, slipping out of their bed before sunrise.

Shaking his head, Vin realized he had stalled long enough and headed back up to the house. In the kitchen, he found all four of his children awake and in the middle of eating their breakfast. Max fed Bren, while Walter took on Trey.

“Morning Daddy,” Andi yelled, jumping up from her chair to meet him.

He swung her up into his arms and grinned. “Mornin, Sugar.” Vin tickled her and once she stopped giggling, he sat her in the chair to finish eating. He ruffled Jason’s hair, before heading to the coffeepot. “Mornin’, Son.”

“Me and Jason helped Mama last night whens you was gone, “Andi said between bites. “Jason read her a story and I made her take her ‘edicine.”

Nodding his head, Vin told her, “I knew I could count on y’all.” Changing the subject, he looked at Max. “Kel’s sleepin’ in; I can take over with the boys.”

“We’ll finish up with the kids, you take care of Missy. She needs her bandages changed and wouldn’t let me touch them last night.”  Bren sidetracked her for a moment, and then she continued. “Maybe you’ll have better luck convincing her to cooperate.”

“I doubt it,” Vin mumbled while he poured a second cup of coffee for Kel, no sense going in to talk to her without a peace offering.

One of the biggest arguments he and Kelli ever had was over the fact that he was reluctant to share his inner pain with her. It was a fair issue, but it was difficult for Vin the ‘protector’ to admit, even to his wife that he sometimes needed a safe haven for his emotions. It went against his lifelong habit of taking care of himself. When the visions started, and he thought he had lost her and Trey, he realized how wrong he had been not to share everything. Still, admitting it was not something he was comfortable doing, but he had to try. Pushing open the bedroom door, he found their bed empty. He heard movement in the bathroom and set down the cups of coffee.

When Kelli attempted to put the cap on the bottle of mouthwash with her bandaged hands, it fell and spilled on the bathroom vanity. Trying to stop the mess from dripping over the edge, she hit the hard surface. “Damnit to hell,” Kelli yelped.

“Leave it, Kel,” Vin said from the doorway. “I’ll take care of it after we get your bandages changed.” When she looked at him with tears in her eyes, Vin felt worse than he had earlier. Seeing the red marks on her breasts as she turned made him cringe. “Aw hell, I am so sorry. “He moved toward her, surprised when she threw herself into his arms.

“It’s not your fault.” Kelli laid her head on his chest, choking back a sob. “I know it’s temporary, but I feel so damn helpless. It took me ten minutes to wrestle into my robe, I can’t hold my children, grip a fork to eat, brush my own hair, or even handle a silly bottle of mouthwash. You even have to help me d\get dressed.  Hell, I can’t even enjoy a cup of coffee unless someone else fixes it.”

“Kel….” He wrapped his arms around her.

“I know. Compared to what JD is goin’ through I have no right to bitch…I …Damnit, I hate it…all of it. I wish we could all go back in time…just a few days….”

“Me too, but it’s not gonna happen so we’ll do the best we can.”  Vin savored the moment of holding her before he said what he had to say. Gently pushing her back a bit, he looked into her eyes. “I owe you an apology for last night. I never should have…”

Kelli shoved her elbow into his ribs to silence him. “Rein yourself in Tanner. You’re the one who told me only a few short months ago that what goes on between two consentin’ adults who love each other does not require an apology…ever. We both needed last night.”

“Damnit Kel, I left marks all over you.” He rested his chin on the top of her head and whispered, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t and the only reason you’re unscathed is because of these blasted bandages. Otherwise, my mark would be all over you, too.”

Vin closed his eyes. “You sure, Baby?”

“I love you Vin. The only way you’ll hurt me is if you leave me or shut me out and turn to another woman.” She sighed. “Then I reckon I’d have to shoot you.”

In spite of his concerns, he chuckled. “Then I reckon we’re good, ‘cause that’ll never happen.” Relief washed over him. As long as he and Kel were okay, he could get through whatever was waiting for him at the hospital.  “Let me help you get dressed and then I’ll change those blasted bandage for you.” He put his arm around her waist and they walked into the bedroom.

“I think you’re enjoyin’ my temporary disability. Don’t get too used to me being helpless.” Kelli smiled when he took off her robe and kissed the red marks on her breasts.

Raising his head, he looked into her eyes, reading the unconditional love she offered. “Undressin’ is my specialty, but I’ll suffer though havin’ to cover you up, if you insist.” He reached for her blouse, assisted her as she slipped her arms into it, and then buttoned it for her, taking his time.

Kelli chewed at her bottom lip. “When this is over…I think we need to go away for a few days, just you and me. I don’t care if we go to the cabin, campin’, or mountain climbin’… anywhere is okay with me. Both of us have had a turn at pushin’ the other away…to be in sync, we need time together.”

Vin nodded. “You’re right, we have taken a couple of wrong turns over the past year, but I think we both learned somethin’ from it.” He placed his finger under her chin and tilted her head. “You need to remember that you are stuck with me, no matter what happens, and I need to remember it’s all right to let you shelter me once in a while.”  He leaned down for a quick kiss. “I won’t forget again, I promise.”

She stepped into the skirt that Vin held out for her. “Now, tell me about JD, while you change my bandages.”

He proceeded to tell her about last night’s hospital visit and his plans for the day.

9:00 a.m.

Josiah pulled Vin’s truck in right on time. Vin met him outside and reclaimed his keys. They double-checked the recording equipment they would be using at the hospital and agreed on a plan of action

“I think the less we tell JD, the better,” Josiah said as he settled into the passenger seat. “The main thing we need is his side of what happened in his own words.”

“I agree. I don’t want to overload him with information until we’re sure he can handle it.” He drove the short distance to Reins and stopped, leaving the engine running.  “I need a quick word with Caitlyn before we head up to the hospital.”

“No problem. I doubt Buck is in any big hurry to see us anyway.”

“Yeah,” he answered and started to get out, then turned back to Josiah. “We’re all gonna make it through this aren’t we?’

“Eventually, but I fear we may be in for a rough go first.”

Vin nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

~~~7~~~

Cait answered the door. “Vin, come on in. Nettie will be pleased to see you.”

“I’m not here to visit, but I do need a favor.” He pulled an envelope from his pocket. “Douglas Banks will be out here today to see Nettie. Could you give him this…without her knowin’?”

Taking the envelope, Cait raised a brow, fearing it might be additional bad news for her friend. “I can …”

Vin read her doubt and explained, “It’s nothin’ bad, just a cashier’s check and Douglas knows I’m leavin’ it here. I wanna make sure he’s paid without botherin’ Nettie about it.”

Cait nodded. “I understand. Consider it done.”

“Appreciate it, Cait. I need to get up to the hospital, if Nettie needs anythin’ please call me.”

“I will,” she hesitated, “it’s just hard for her right now. She wants to see JD. You think…?”

Shaking his head, Vin answered. “Not yet. He needs to know what’s happened first…” he sighed, “…I’ll see what the doctor says and let you know.”  Nodding to her, he started walking back to his truck, thinking about how one uncontrolled moment in time had affected so many lives already. Knowing the worst was yet to come, he dreaded the next few hours.

Chapter 14

Trying to fight fate only leads to frustration

Denver Memorial Hospital~ Thursday morning ~ May 29

Buck leaned in to insure he had JD's undivided attention, while Chris hovered in the background.

“Remember we told you Vin and Josiah need to ask you a few questions about the other night?" He ached for bright hazel eyes to look back at him, instead of ones full of despair.

JD nodded.

"Well, they're here, waiting outside your room. I have no doubt that you understand protocol, but Kid…if you're not up to this today, say the word and we'll call this off."  Buck instinctively wiped away a solitary tear, which escaped from the corner of JD's eye as the younger man's chin quivered.

Swallowing hard, JD took a deep breath. "No…let's get this over with."

Both Buck and Chris nodded. JD sought out Chris’s eyes and put his hand on Buck's arm. "Will you two stay with me?"

"No problem, kid."

Chris approached the bed, smiling. "If that's what you want, of course."

JD nodded again. "Yeah…I do."

Five minutes later, Josiah and Vin had their equipment set up and the date and time recorded. They sat next to JD on one side, while Buck and Chris elected to stand close by on the other side. Vin squeezed JD's arm. They had the head of the bed raised so JD could view everyone comfortably.

“I understand this is hard for you, but best to get this out of the way.” Acknowledging the slight nod of JD’s head, Vin stepped back from the bed and into ‘professional’ mode.

Josiah turned on the recorder and Vin began. "In your own words, and to the best of your recollection, I need you to account for your movements after leavin' work Monday, May 26th."

JD closed his eyes for a moment. A squeeze to his shoulder told him Buck was close by, and began.

"After I left the Federal Building, I stopped at a gas station… the one next to the bank, to fill up.” He licked at his lips.” They had flowers inside so I bought some roses to take to Casey. They were kind of a peace offering I knew she would be upset about me getting home late again. “

Smiling wistfully, he added, "She likes roses and these were…,” he sighed, pausing for a moment, “anyway, when I got home… I…uh…I dumped my keys…I think I left the flowers on the hall table. I…I called out…I…but no one answered. It was late. I figured Nettie had gone to bed, and Casey…probably in the bedroom.  Something smelled good...I was hungry and I remember wondering what might ..."

Vin leaned forward. "You put down the flowers and your keys..."

“Yeah…I peeked into the girls' room. They were asleep." His head snapped up, looking at Chris and Buck, alarmed. "They are okay, right? The girls and JJ…are they with Nettie?"

Josiah spoke before Buck could answer, to stop them from sidetracking JD. He and Vin wanted to make this as quick as possible for the young man. "Your children are fine JD, Nettie, too. Now, where did you go from the girls' room?"

Taking a few seconds to compose his words, JD continued, screwing up his face in concentration. "To our bedroom and I didn’t find Casey so I locked my guns in the safe. Not sure what I did next, but….I do remember looking down at JJ…something…I  guess I heard a noise at the back of the house…I went into the kitchen and Casey stood at the counter…she…she had her…back to me…." He swallowed great gulps of air as he tried to stop his throat from tightening, looking up as Chris stepped closer with a cup of ice.

Chris spooned some chips for JD and after a moment asked him. "Would you like to take a break?"

Josiah and Vin shook their heads at Chris. This was hurting them, too, but they needed JD to re-tell the events of Monday night, before anyone else gave him an account of what happened…they needed his recall…his words.

"I bet you gave her a big ol' kiss, didn't you son?" Buck matched the glare he received from the two men.

Vin switched off the voice recorder. “I don't want to kick you out of here, Buck, but if you help him answer again, I will."

Buck laughed without humor. "You can try, junior, but that's all it'll be…an attempt. You'll have to put me out before I leave here, and that ain't gonna happen, Tanner, believe me."

Noting JD's accelerated breathing as he listened to the altercation, Chris cut in. "Shut the hell up, both of you and let's finish this." Changing the tone of his voice, he laid his hand on Dunne’s arm, "When you're ready."

Waiting a moment, while he tried to regain his control, JD closed his eyes. He recalled coming up behind Casey, pressing his body against hers as he had embraced her and caressed her breasts.

"JD," Josiah prompted him to continue, pushing the on button.

The young tech shook his head. "Sorry. I can't be sure if I said anything, but I’m certain I gave her a hug. She…I think I startled her, she went all stiff and pulled away…" His breathing became more erratic. "The way she stared at me…" he whispered, "…it was as if…" He blinked through watery eyes at the four men in the room."…She didn't seem to recognize me…and… I moved away from her…we…I … uh, started talking, and then…I must have scared her more than I thought…she… she….”

His gaze went glassy while he remembered the moments before the attack, sobs now racking his body as his hand touched his bandages.

"Oh God…she really did it…Oh God…my Casey…stabbed me." He draped his arm over his head and buried his face, embarrassed that he was unable to control his tears. Buck moved in an instant to comfort him.

"Can you remember anything else?" Vin almost choked on the words, but it would be easier on JD in the long run if they could continue.

Torn between what his heart felt and what his head was telling him, Chris yelled, “For fuck's sake can't you see he's struggling here?"

Vin met Chris's gaze, turning off the recorder. “I’m not blind, but you know as well as I do, we need to finish this sooner rather than later."

Experience had taught him enough to realize Vin was right, but seeing JD like this was tearing him apart.

"Goddamnit, Tanner, how detached have you gotten?" Buck lashed out at Vin.

Vin glared at Buck. Swallowing his anger, he answered softly, "About as detached as you, Bucklin."

Before Buck could reply, JD gripped his wrist. "It's okay…I'm okay, now." He turned and nodded to Tanner, who clicked the recorder on again.

"Before I passed out, she screamed at me. I can't remember everything but I think she shouted a warning….about hurting her…or something." He shuddered out a breath. "Her words made no sense…I…I don't think she was talking to me…I know that doesn't make much sense either, but…"

Josiah squeezed the young man's knee. “Son, you've done well." He turned off the recorder. The rest of their questions could wait until he was stronger.

JD nodded. He looked in earnest at Vin. "Vin, Casey trusts you. I can't imagine how awful she's feeling now. I scared her and she reacted, but she didn’t mean to hurt me…you know that. Tell her it’s all right…that we’ll work through this. Would you bring her to me? If I could just talk to her for a minute…"

Four men inhaled sharply. JD deserved an answer. He would find out eventually anyway, but…. was he up to hearing it now?

Vin grasped JD's forearm and took a deep breath. “Casey can’t come. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but, we…” he made a conscious decision to leave Josiah and Kelli out of it and take full responsibility himself. “…I had no choice but to arrest her.”

The four watched in fascination as Dunne processed the information.  Always animated, right now his face was telling its own story.

"What are you saying?" He sought support from Chris and Buck. "He's crazy…," he turned back to Vin, "…You're crazy…you can't lock her up…this is all a misunderstanding…she wouldn’t hurt me on purpose…She needs to be with me…with our kids. What were you thinking? This is our Casey! Damnit Vin… Go get her out now! Oh God!”  He screwed up his face in agony, his eyes shut tight.

His outburst had flared up all the pain his meds failed to control and he writhed in the bed in a mixture of despair and agony.

"Look what you did now!" Buck growled at Josiah and Vin, trying to calm JD down.

Tanner growled back. "I'm not gonna lie to him."

Buck hissed, "Get outta here you insensitive bastard!"

"Buck…enough!" Chris yelled. Three people who meant the world to him were coming apart, one physically and two mentally. Inevitably, JD had to hear everything and Vin had a job to do, but damn if he knew how to help any of them at the moment.

His priority though, was to stop JD from hurting himself further when the young man tried to get up. Chris used his Commander voice, “JD…stop and calm down."

Gilford came in. "What in Heaven's name is going on here?" In the chaos, no one had noticed alarms going off on JD's monitors. The doctor unceremoniously pushed everyone away from the bed as his medical team came into the room to help.

"JD, it's Doctor Gilford…can you hear me?"

"Get 'em out…"

Gilford frowned. "Get who out, JD?"

Dunne waved his free hand weakly. "Them…Buck…Vin… all of ‘em…please…."

Gilford glanced toward the faces of four stunned men.

Buck approached the bed. "Now come on, Kid…you don't mean that."

Opening his eyes for a moment, JD made eye contact. "Go away…Go away!” JD turned his head toward the window. “Please, just leave!”

The glower from the doctor gave them their orders and four men retreated to the corridor.

Buck shook his head. "I'm not leaving. He can scream all he wants…he don't mean what he said. I'm not going anywhere."

Josiah took a calming breath. “We’ve had three days to try and come to terms with all of this. This is new for JD; he needs time to grasp what we’ve told him and denying what happened is a normal reaction under the circumstances.”

Chris rubbed his eyes, sighing. He looked toward Vin and Josiah. "I’m not leaving until I’m sure he's okay. You two go. Do what you have to do. We'll talk later."

Vin was in hell. He looked at Buck, who turned away, and then to Chris.

*I couldn’t lie to him…ain't right to lie about this…I…I couldn't lie…*

Chris met his eyes. *I know.*

Denver Memorial

When Gilford said he was calling in the psychologist for a consult, Buck’s instincts told him it was a mistake, but it was not up to him. He paced the hallway, waiting for word that it was okay to return to JD’s room.

“Will you sit down?” Chris barked, throwing down the magazine he was attempting to read. “It hasn’t been long.” He stood up when the therapist walked out.

“Gentlemen, I’ll be brief,” Doctor Snyder said. “Mister Dunne has requested no visitors and I am inclined to agree that for now it is for the best.”

“You mean besides family, right?   Buck stopped in front of the man.

The doctor sighed. “I mean no visitors, period. Go home, check with Doctor Gilford tomorrow.” He snapped the chart closed and turned to walk off.

Buck grabbed his arm, demanding more information, “Tomorrow? I need to be in with him, now.”

“Let him go, Buck,” Chris stepped between the two men, allowing the doctor to move on down the hallway. “JD has a lot of information to digest. Maybe he needs time to do that. In fact, maybe we all need to take a deep breath and think things through.”

Buck started shaking his head. “What if JD needs me?”

“What he needs right now is space.” Chris placed his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Go home. Spend time with Inez and the kids, and then we’ll see how JD is in the morning.”

Closing his eyes, Buck sighed deeply. “All right, I’ll go home for a while, but I’m coming back tonight. If he don’t want me with him, I’ll stay out here in a chair.”

“We’ll stop at the nurse’s station to make sure they call one of us if anything changes.”

The two men left their message and then took the elevator to the main lobby to make their way to the parking lot. Chris walked Buck to his truck, waiting to make certain he left and then headed to his own.  He hoped tomorrow would bring better news.

Chris’s Home ~ Sunday morning ~ June 1

“Damnit Chris, three days and JD still refused to see us.” Buck paced the length of Chris’s deck. “He let Nettie, Barbara, Caitlyn, the therapist, and that lawyer come in, but you, me, all the guys are on a no visitors list.  Why?”

“Have you been sleeping?”

“What?” Buck stopped and stood in front of Chris.

“You look like hell, I asked if….”

“No, I can’t sleep thinking about JD being by himself. He needs me…us, even if he don’t realize it. He can’t….I mean…what the fuck is going on?” He plopped down in the deck chair. “I don’t understand.”

Chris empathized with his old friend. JD’s behavior disturbed him too, but Josiah explained it was not something to be concerned about…yet. While he tried to practice the patience Josiah suggested, Buck obviously was not able to do the same. He took a deep breath before speaking. “This is not going away overnight. We need to give JD time to come to terms with what’s happened. He’ll need us in the weeks and months to come.”

“The kid has always turned to us for support before.” Buck shook his head. “He needs us now more than he ever has.” He stood up and resumed pacing. “If Vin hadn’t been so hell-bent in rushing things with Casey, maybe we …”

“Hold on Buck.” Chris made certain he had his friend’s attention. “Vin did what needed to be done. Casey belongs locked up either in jail or in a hospital until we know she is no longer a threat to herself or anyone else. We don’t know what all the investigation has or will uncover. Hell, look what she did to Kel less than twenty-four hours after she attacked JD. Can you stand there with a straight face and say she’s not where she belongs for now?”

Buck dropped his head. “No, but damnit, what about JD’s wishes, he don’t want her in jail.”

“That’s not our call or his, the law is clear on what had to be done.” Chris chewed on his bottom lip. “Right now you need to take time with your family, be strong for JD when he’s ready to come to you, and be patient. Let the process work.”

“It hurts Chris…to know the kid is in so much pain and alone.”

“Yeah, but his emotions are raw. Maybe he needs time to grieve a while, talk to a therapist, hug his kids, and then decide how to move forward. We can’t do that for him.”

“Maybe.”

“Go home Buck, hug your kids, love Inez, and do some healing of your own.” Chris stood up and placed a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Things will get better. It just might take some time before all of us see it happen.”

Tanner Home

Vin sat in front of his home computer and stared at the blank screen. He needed to wrap up his report for Travis, but struggled with what more to include. Casey’s journal provided a wealth of information, all personal and some so explicit he hesitated to add the words to paper. On the other hand, if this were not Casey, would he exclude those details?  Damn, he hated to be in this position. He received a reprieve from wrestling with his dilemma when the phone rang.

He grabbed the receiver and growled, “Tanner!” Taken by surprise by the caller, he lowered his voice, “JD.” Remorse washed over him for answering so harshly, “Yeah, I can come.” He glanced at the clock. “I’ll be there before noon.” Deep in thought, Vin hung up the phone. His natural instinct was to work this through himself, but he really wanted to practice sharing his inner feelings with Kelli and hurried out of his office to find her.

It took a few minutes, but he located his wife in the den and joined her on the couch. After a moment of silence, he told her, “JD wants to see me. Says he wants to finish our interview. How much do I tell him?”

Kelli heard the trepidation in his voice and tried to find the words to make him relax. “I can’t tell you what to say, but whatever he asks…give him the answers you would expect in his position.”

Vin nodded. “I’d want to hear it all, good or bad.”

“Well then, you have your answer.” She reached out to stroke the stubble on his jaw. Something she had missed doing before her bandages came off. “You can’t soften the cold hard facts, but JD is every bit as strong as you are and I have confidence you’d find a way to handle the truth. To move forward he has to understand what he’s facin’. Fate has set her course and while it may not be easy for either of you, he can take it… he has no choice at this point.”

Vin shook his head. In a few words, Kelli had managed to erase his uncertainty and paint a clear picture in his head. Allowing her to reassure him occasionally was a good feeling. He leaned over to kiss his wife. “I love you.”

“That’s good to know,” she grinned, “because a certain sexy MCAT Captain is just waiting for a chance to move in on your territory.”

”I can’t blame him for trying,” he drew her closer, “but tell him to get his own woman.” Relaxed again and certain of his course of action, his mood turned serious. “Thanks baby. I know what I have to do now.”

“Go help JD the best you can and take Dad with you. You’ll need a friend with you after Captain Tanner delivers the facts.”

“Smart woman.” He claimed another kiss before leaving her. Picking up the house phone, he punched in a familiar number and waited for an answer. “Hey Cowboy…I have a meet and could use some backup.” He listened for a moment and then smiled. “See you in ten minutes.”  Despite their difference of opinions about Casey, he never doubted that Chris would agree to go with him, without question, and it felt good to know some things did not change

Chapter 15

All things happen for a reason; our challenge is to discover what it is.

Sunday June 1

Vin had been driving for a while before Chris asked, “Wanna tell me where we’re going?”

“JD called and requested a meetin’.” He turned onto the main road into Denver. “Kel suggested I ask you to come with me. Reckoned I’d need a friend around when it’s over.”

Chris nodded slowly. “Judging from what Cait’s told me our youngest has been up to the past few days, I reckon she‘s right. He’s talked to Nettie, Douglas Banks, Casey’s doctors, and to Barbara about taking back custody of his kids. I figure he wants you to tell him what they couldn’t.”

Vin glanced sideways, a pained expression outlining his handsome features. “I’m not goin’ to lie to him, Chris. It might not be easy for him to hear, but he deserves the truth….all of it. If I were in his position, I’d expect no less.”

“Same here,” Chris shook his head, “but for me it’s hard to equate the facts of this case with our JD and Casey. How the hell do you tell a man the woman he loves and lived with all these years, is at the present time, not who he thinks she is?”

Vin sighed. “I don’t know, but I need to try and make him understand.”

“This whole damn thing is difficult for everyone, but I could have made it easier on you and Kel. You both took on a tough assignment and did not deserve the grief I…and some of the others dished out.” Chris swallowed hard. “I read the press release Kelli wrote….she did a good job …you both did.”

“Y’all said what you were thinkin’ and feelin’. I can’t fault any of you for your honesty.”  Vin glanced over to Chris. “Conductin’ the investigation is not easy, but compared to telling JD the truth... hell, no matter what I say it’ll be rough for him.”

“A word of advice though. I wouldn’t mention this meeting to Buck. He’s already too upset about JD refusing to see the rest of us.”

“You know Buck. He’ll cool off once he thinks things over.” Vin took the exit for the hospital. “Unfortunately, I don’t think any of us can make this easier for JD. His future is at stake and he needs to face this his way, for his sake, and the kids. All we can do is support whatever he decides to do.”

Chris stared out the passenger window. “Yeah, but as much as we’ve all experienced firsthand how life can be a bitch… I always hoped we’d be able to preempt any trouble on the horizon for the kid.”

Vin pulled into a parking spot, cut the engine and sighed. “We need to accept and understand that he’s not a kid anymore and Mistress Fate evidently has other plans for him.”

JD’s hospital room

He had no idea what to expect from this meeting, and when he pushed open the door, Vin was apprehensive. The sight of an empty bed and a darkened room did not bode well. After a moment, his eyes adjusted, and he spotted JD, with his back turned, standing in front of the window. Except for a slight movement of his shoulder, he made no other sign to acknowledge Vin had entered the room.

“I don’t plan on pouncing on anyone today, Vin.” JD turned to face the man who held the answers, which would affect his future. “Come on in.” The room lightened as he moved away from the window.

“We’ve all been worried about you. I’m glad to see you up and around.” Vin stepped further into the room to face JD. “Chris came with me, he’s across the hall. If you want him here…”

“No,” JD answered quickly and harsher than he intended. Softening his tone he repeated, “No. I want…need this meeting to be between you and me. I’ll talk to Chris and everyone else soon, but right now I require answers only you can give me.”

Vin nodded. “Fair enough, you wanna stand or sit?”

“We can sit.”

They moved over to the chairs by the bed.  In spite of the difficulty of lowering himself into the seat, JD was determined to show strength. Vin understood the importance of JD exerting his independence and resisted the urge to help.

Once his breathing evened out, JD began the conversation with a well-rehearsed statement. “I realize you still have questions to ask, but before we get into official stuff, I wanna talk to my brother.”

Vin leaned forward and placed his hand on JD’s knee. “Whatever you need, you got it.”

JD licked his lips and started. “Over the past few days I’ve talked to Douglas Banks, Nettie, Barbara, and Casey’s doctors. Nettie told me how you helped her and it didn’t take much for me to figure out who paid the retainer for Banks…thanks, Vin, I appreciate it.”

Vin squeezed JD's knee. “I love Nettie too, JD, so don’t worry over the money, we’ll work it out. You …”

“I plan to pay you back every cent.”  Forestalling Vin’s further protest, he held up his hand. “You took on a tough assignment and still thought about what Nettie and Casey needed, that means a lot to me. I also understand you took some flack for it and I’m aware of Kel’s injuries.” He hesitated for a moment to get a hold of his emotions. “Casey’s doctor said she‘s got something called Schizoaffective Disorder… a mental condition out of her control.  I need to learn more about it before I can explain it, but her recovery is gonna take time.” His eyes begged Vin to understand. “She would not hurt me or Kel otherwise… you have to know that.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Douglas is confident the criminal charges will be dismissed and Casey will be placed in a…,” he swallowed, unable to say mental institution, “…somewhere she can receive the help she needs and I’m going home tomorrow. Barbara filed the papers for custody of the kids to revert to me, and Cait helped Nettie find someone who can come in and assist her with the kids, and me until I get back on my feet. Then, I’ll need to make more permanent arrangements. I realize the others don’t understand why I won’t see them, especially Buck, but for now, right or wrong, I’ve gotta to do this my way.”

“It sounds as if you’ve given this a lot of thought.”

JD nodded. “This is something I need to do for me, the kids, and for Casey. I love her Vin, always have and no matter what, I’ll stand beside her…she needs me.”

“I do understand.” Vin swallowed hard and made a decision he hoped his wife would forgive him for, eventually. JD had to believe he really understood his reasons. “When Ice took Kel, it took months before I got her back mentally. Until now, no one except Chris knows about her miscarrying while Ice had her locked up. Kel came close to breaking over it. She blamed herself and it damn near destroyed both of us. Hell, sometimes I wasn’t sure we’d be able to recover, but I couldn’t give up tryin’ to reach her, anymore than you can give up on Casey.”

Knowing that Vin trusted him with his secret gave JD the courage to share his own demons. “Ice did a helluva lot more damage than we gave her credit for,” he said. “I let her words about me being the weak link drive me to obsession about work and that damn code. If I’d paid more attention to my wife…maybe….” He shook his head and then stumbled over his words. It took a few seconds to compose his emotions. “It’s your turn, say what you need to, but then  I…I need you to tell me what you found out….all of it…good or bad.”

Vin heaved a sigh and then nodded. “First off, Kel and I are the only ones who know all of the facts. We handled the investigation and tried to keep it as discreet as possible. Josiah came in to help with a profile, and Mallory ran what we needed through CASSIE. Travis received our preliminary statements, but some of what I’m about to tell you he deleted from the copy he gave to the U.S. Attorney’s office. Chris, Buck and the others won’t see our reports and they haven’t asked for the details.”

JD's brow furrowed. “So Buck doesn’t…”

“No.” Vin closed his eyes and steeled himself for the emotional storm he knew was coming. “JD,” he slid forward to gain a position closer to the younger man, “did you know Casey was seein’ a psychiatrist since January?

JD raised his head to meet Vin’s eyes. “No…January?  Are you sure?”

“Yes. Casey’s OB/GYN recommended she see Doctor Ward when she realized the depression Casey was experiencing was more than just due to the pregnancy. We talked to him and confirmed her appointments. Apparently, her problem started back in October when the FBI arrested you. The attempt on your life added to it and findin’ out she was pregnant…well all total it was more than she could handle. However, Casey went to great lengths to hide her sufferin’ from everyone, even you.”

“Why couldn’t she tell me?” JD choked back his emotions. “I thought she was just hormonal…”

“We all did, but she was spiralin’ and none of us saw what was happenin’. Casey struggled with delusions and became paranoid. She kept a gun in her car, set up a secret bank account for emergency use, and in case ‘they’ came back to take you again, she even kept a knife under the mattress on her side of the bed.” Vin stopped for a moment to allow JD a chance to take in what he was saying. “She added cameras in the house to record everythin’ and it did, includin’ her attack on you.” 

“God, how could I be so blind?” JD fisted his hands and pounded on the chair. Tears welled up in his eyes and he fought desperately to them keep from falling, while he tried to deal with the new information Vin revealed to him. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, his breathing coming unevenly as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. A few moments passed in silence before he finally gathered himself together and raised his head to once again look Vin in the eyes. “I should have seen her anxiety…I failed her when she needed me.”

“No, you didn’t.” Vin grabbed JD’s hand, wanting to offer his brother support, any way he could. Seeing JD in such an emotional upheaval, Vin found his own emotions working against him as he said, “She did not want you to see…she…aw hell...she did whatever was necessary to hide it all, but then…the accident happened…JJ came…the hysterectomy.  It all started crashin’ in on her. Casey hated her thoughts, but stopped takin’ the meds the doctor prescribed. Last week all her fears, resentments and delusions combined…I believe the innocent message you left on the answerin’ machine about going to the FBI office triggered some kind of breakdown.”

“Message…answering machine…?” JD thought about what he had said. “I told her…God…’the feds insisted’…she must have believed it was happening all over again.”

Vin squeezed his hand. “She did things your Casey would never consider doin’, but in her mixed up thinkin’ it was all necessary. We found a journal she hid… all her fears, thoughts and paranoia…she kept a record of all of it. Kel and I read it and at some point, I reckon you need to. You want to remember the person who wrote in it was not your Casey, but a young woman trapped in the clutches of serious illness.”

“Can you get it for me? I need to understand what she went through.” When Vin withdrew and hesitated, JD realized there was more to tell. A determined look crossed his face. “All of it Vin. I can handle anything except not knowing.”

For a brief moment, Vin considered lying, but JD deserved the truth if he was going to fight for the future. “I’ll get it to you once it’s released as evidence, but…readin’ it will be painful.  After JJ was born, she transferred her obsession about the injustices committed by the FBI to him. Just about everythin’ she believed was his fault and that’s one of the reasons she left you last month. She hated herself for feelin’ that way and while she was gone," Vin bowed his head momentarily, sighed and looked back at JD, "….fuck it…there’s no easy way to tell you." He tightened his grip on the shaking man, "Casey had a one-night stand before she came home and it’s been eatin’ at her ever since.” Vin's heart clenched as he watched a myriad of emotions cross JD's features.

JD's mind was desperately trying to process the information...Casey had an affair? Is that why she wanted to come home? He swallowed, his eyes darting left and right searching for a rational reason she would say such a thing. No...no way...not his Casey. But...oh God...they had made love...that night, before they headed home...and she had...? No! He glared at Vin, his head shaking in denial. 

“No…no…not Casey… she might be sick, but …no. Neither of us ever had other sex partners… It’s not true. She might’ve written the words …” JD’s heart twisted and the pain was worse that the ones from his wounds. “I don’t… no, I can’t believe that.”

Vin was in hell, but he stayed resolute. "Kid...I tracked the guy down...he confirmed it...I'm sorry."

JD stood abruptly, crying out as the speed of his ascent pulled on his injuries. “Take me to him...he's lying, Vin...he has to be...Who the hell is he?"

Vin rose to his feet, concerned at the pain in JD's face, and his semi-hunched stance. He gripped his arm.

"JD, take it easy, I swear to you, if I thought for one moment this guy had lied...I would have ripped his balls apart myself, but..." his eyes began to water as JD's tears ran freely down his cheeks, "I also talked to Becky...the girl she stayed with. They went to a strip club the night before she called you. Becky's fiancé, Wes Chesterfield, had been away on business but, while the girls were out, he returned...earlier than Becky expected, and called her. She mentioned to Casey she wanted to get home...Casey told her to go ahead...she'd get a cab. Becky confirmed that Casey didn’t come back to the apartment, until some time around sun up, she packed her things, left a note...and went to meet you."

JD was shivering now; he sniffed and licked his lips. "But...but that doesn't mean she...that's not proof...she wouldn't...Vin...please...she wouldn't do that to me..." He searched his brother's eyes for something...anything...to offer him some hope, but all he got was sorrow, empathy, and sincerity. His legs gave out and he dropped to the floor, his slump softened by the Texan clinging to him, and slowing his descent as he followed JD down. Both men on their knees, they looked at each other. Feebly, JD hit Vin in the chest several times.

"She wouldn't do that...Vin...she...she…." His body was trembling now. Casey would not do that, but then the woman he knew would not try to kill him either. "Why? How...oh God...Casey...why?"

Vin could no longer hold back his own tears as he embraced JD and the two men clung to each other...one in support and one in desperate need. Vin allowed JD to let it all out, only speaking when he felt the younger man's heartbreak easing a little.

"I'm here for you…we all are...don't push us away...let us help you. I swear to you, little brother...we're gonna get you through this. You're not alone...you will never be alone...not as long as the six of us have breath in our bodies. All you need to do is reach out...we'll be right here."

JD's answer was fisting the back of Vin's shirt even tighter, but it was evident now, he was exhausted.

Vin had no idea of how much time passed while they remained on their knees clinging and crying, but eventually, JD relaxed his hold and Vin helped him to his feet.

"Help me into bed...,” he whispered. Vin obliged him, watching over JD for a while longer until he was asleep. Sighing heavily, Vin touched his hand to JD's clammy head, turned and left the room. He eased the door shut and listened against it. His suspicions confirmed, he closed his eyes in despair …JD had only feigned sleep and was now crying softly to himself.

Chris watched Vin turn away from the door and walk a few steps, alarmed when Vin suddenly squatted, the fingertips of his left hand touching the floor to steady him as his other hand covered his eyes. Approaching him, Chris placed a hand on Vin's head and pulled it gently against the side of his thigh while the Texan wept.

Glancing back at JD's door, Chris debated whether he should go inside or stay here. Vin lifted his steadying hand and held onto Chris's leg, giving the blond the answer to his dilemma, and that's how they remained, until Vin was composed, and ready to leave.

~~~7~~~

Chris’s Journal ~ midnight

Vin and I spent the afternoon sitting on a boulder, which overlooks one of the prettiest valleys on the Larabee 7, yet the beauty of the land held no comfort for either of us today. As he recounted his meeting with JD, I felt every bit of the pain he and our youngest brother shared. All I could do was to listen. I had no words of wisdom to offer him to ease the hurt.

The past week has been hell for all of us and until today, I believed it could not get worse. I was wrong. As our initial shock wears off, the pain of all that has happened is settling in for a long stay. This time there is no ‘quick fix’ and I fear that for some of us it will never be the same.

I placed Vin in an impossible situation when I ordered him to run this investigation. He’s damned if he does his job right, and damned if he doesn’t. Travis expects him to be professional, both attorneys expect him to produce evidence to aid their respective cases, and I am at a loss to find any way to help him. His relationship with Buck is strained and his role of supportive brother to JD almost did him in today.

JD is lost too. He’s decided that now is the time to slough off the protective cloak we’ve tried to wrapped him in all these years and stand on his own. While I have to respect, and in some ways admire his decision, I know that no man can go though this kind of heartbreak in his life alone. I’m living proof of that. Yet all I can do is to wait for him to realize he needs his family, now more than ever.

Buck is finding it difficult to give JD space and let go of ‘our kid’. He does not understand why JD is pushing him away. Why he cannot shield him the way he has in the past. I understand, but have the same problem Buck does…letting go is not easy, but sometime it is necessary to hold on to the things we treasure.

Ezra and Nathan are trying to remain in neutral territory while the rest of us work through our feelings. Josiah’s counseling skills are getting a workout too. I hope that given time JD will come to us and allow us to support him. In the meantime, our job is stand on the sidelines and wait.

JD will be back at home tomorrow. In the coming days, he’ll have to deal with his children, physical recovery, court hearings, and doctors. He’ll also need to make some tough decisions and plan for his family’s future…with or without Casey.

At some point soon, Travis will reactivate Alpha team and the rest of us will return to work. While it might take some time to mend our broken fences, I have faith that the seven of us will find a way. We are seven strong. Always have been and always will be.

Chapter 16

Time can be a friend, an enemy, or a pain in the ass. One thing it cannot do is stop the days from passing by.

Two weeks later ~ Monday, June 16

Wilmington Home ~ 5:00a.m.

Inez rolled over and ran her hand over the cold, empty space beside her. Apparently, in spite of his promise to get some sleep, her husband never came to bed last night. She slid out from beneath the covers, pulled on her robe, and went in search of her wayward man. He was not difficult to find; he still sat in his favorite chair in the den. Seeing the lines of strain on his face, and the slump of his shoulders, hurt her heart. She decided enough was enough; it was time Buck realized some things were out of his control, no matter how much he wished otherwise.

“You’ve lost your faith, husband,” she said, moving from the doorway to stand in front of him. “I’d hoped the book Ezra gave you would help, but obviously you are struggling still.”

Buck set the book he was reading aside, and pulled her onto his lap. “None of this makes sense to me. I know the seven of us have a unique bond, but what happened to our ancestors in the past has nothing to do with today.”

“Are you certain?” Buck had told her enough about Cowboy and Tracker, and the gift of the Legends book to raise her doubts. “Do you believe Chris was wrong to trust Cowboy, or Vin when he listened to Tracker about Kelli and Trey?”

“No…yes…hell, I’m not sure what to believe anymore. I just cannot accept that ‘they’ knew how much JD would be hurting now.” He pulled a letter from the inside of the book. “This says I’m supposed to let the kid run things his way…not to rein him in, regardless of whether he’s right or wrong.’ He sighed. “Not that I have much choice. JD barely speaks to me anymore, hell, to any of us for that matter.  He spends all his time talking to Casey’s doctors and her lawyer when he should be letting me...us help.”

Inez leaned her head against his. “Maybe all you can do is to wait for him to realize he needs more.”

“I plan to be at Casey’s hearing today. I don’t care if Chris approves or not. JD is not gonna be alone, not while I’m alive.”

“I’m sure Chris doesn’t intend for JD to face the hearing alone anymore than you or the others do.” Inez said and then smiled when the baby kicked. “Our daughter agrees.”

Buck laid his hand on her stomach and gently rubbed over the swollen mound where their baby rested. “Six more weeks’ sweet girl and not a moment sooner, you hear me?” He raised his head and gazed into his wife’s eyes. “I know I’ve been a pain in the ass over all this and distracted lately, but you and our babies are always with me. I love you, Lady, don’t ever doubt that.”

She answered with her eyes, showing him her love and understanding. She reached out to stroke his cheek. “I only want you to find a balance in your emotions, for your own sanity’s sake. I’m not saying give up on JD, it’s not in your nature, but you promised your ‘West End Kids’ you would set up a rodeo at Reins, which will include them. Caleb’s birthday is in two weeks, and we have not even discussed a name for our new daughter yet. Shouldn’t you try to give JD some time to heal, and tend to those things too?”

“Time…” he sighed again. One part of him understood why he needed to wait for JD to come to him, but another part wanted to shake some sense into him and make it happen now. Yet, when JD first tried to explain to him how he felt about his decision to leave MCAT would he have listened?  Answering himself honestly he knew he wouldn’t, anymore than JD was listening now. “You’re right. I promise to get back to work on my plans for the rodeo and we’ll make certain Caleb has the best birthday ever.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Now, as for a name, do you have a preference?”

“I do, if you agree.” She looked up.” When my mama died, mi Tia Isabella took care of me. She loved me and made sure I received an education. Tia helped me come to the United States and cried happy tears when I gained my citizenship. I love her and owe her more than I can ever repay.”

“Isabella Wilmington,” Buck nodded. “I like the sound of that.”

Inez hesitated a moment, then said softly, “Isabella Danielle? JD named Lilah after your mom, and added Bucklin to JJ’s name…I thought …”

He brushed her lips with his. “Thank you. Isabella Danielle it is.” He patted his wife’s belly. “Hear that, sweetheart, you have a name. Bella Wilmington.”

Inez smiled, two seconds and Buck already was calling her Bella. She was certain it would take a least a minute or two. “If you’ll help me up, I’ll start breakfast while you get ready for work.”

“Whatever you say Mama,” Buck said, smiling as he helped her to her feet.  He watched her head into the kitchen and dropped his smile when she disappeared. There was no need to worry her about his problems at work. When Travis called the team back in, it did not take long to realize they needed a helluva lot more than working together to repair the damage between him and Vin.  He was a long way from forgiving Tanner for helping Casey.

Dunne Home ~ 7:00 a.m.

“We’ll have you dressed and ready to go in a jiffy,” JD said, pulling the shirt over JJ’s head. Missus Hastings was great with kids, but he insisted on doing everything for the baby himself. Since his own wounds were healing, he spent more and more time with his children. When he was not in conference with Casey’s doctors or Douglas Banks, he tried to make up for the fact they temporarily only had one parent at home.

JJ made a gurgling noise and kicked his legs.

“Daddy and Aunt Nettie have to be gone a bit today, so you’ll stay with Missus Hastings while your sisters are in day care.” He lifted his son to his shoulder. “I promise we’ll be back as soon as we can.”

JD headed out the door, still ignoring ‘the book’, which rested on the floor in the corner. He was hesitant when Ezra came over last week and talked his way inside. After hearing the reason for his visit, JD was angry and ordered him to leave. No way would he allow Standish, or his alleged mission from the past, make him feel guilty about standing on his own. Throwing the book across the bedroom, he refused to look at it. No damn book, supposedly from his ancestor, was going to change his mind either.

Unseen by JD, a shadow moved to follow him. *This is gonna to be harder than I thought. That boy is pure stubborn to the bone*

Federal Courthouse ~ 8:00 a.m.

Buck paced the hallway, while Chris, Josiah, Ezra, and Nathan sat on the benches lined against the wall. When JD entered with Nettie, he started to go over to them, until he spotted Douglas Banks at their side. The attorney’s presence only served to remind him of why they were here….Casey’s attack on his brother.

“Easy Buck, lower your hackles, and let JD make the first move,” Chris cautioned.

JD glanced over and caught sight of his five brothers. He reckoned he should have anticipated their unsolicited support, but the jolt of unexpected pleasure he felt when he saw them surprised him. Excusing himself to Nettie and Douglas, he walked over to speak to them

“Hey,” he stood in front of Buck and nodded to the men on the bench. “You guys didn’t have to come. This is a closed hearing and except for witnesses, no one is allowed inside.”

“We know,” Buck said. “We just wanted to be here for you …the same as you would for one of us.”

JD sighed and shook his head. “I appreciate you guys thinking about me, but I can handle this.” He hesitated and then continued.  “I know some of you can’t understand why I’m standing by Casey, and fighting to get the charges dropped. The simple truth is…I love her and she‘s worth saving to me. I intend to do everything I can to help her.”

An awkward silence descended on the group until Nathan finally said, “You look good. Doctor Gilford must be happy with your progress.”

“Yeah, he is. In fact, he’s releasing me this week.” JD took a step closer to Chris. “I’m not coming back to work yet. I planned to come in and talk to you tomorrow about an extended leave of absence.”

Chris willed himself not to react. “No problem, son. I’ll draw it up and drop by the house for your signature…if that’s okay with you.”

JD bobbed his head. “Thanks, I hate to leave the kids more than necessary.”  He glanced over the faces of the men he loved and respected. “I realize how hard this is for all of you. All I ask is for you to try to understand I’m doing what I need to do and give me time to take care of my family.”

Buck swallowed hard, holding back all the words he wanted to say. Instead, he reached out and squeezed JD’s arm. “Just don’t forget we’re here if you need… or want to talk.”

Not trusting himself to speak, JD chewed on his bottom lip, and nodded.

Nettie walked up and lightly touched him on the back. “The attorneys are having a pow wow. I thought I’d come over and join you.” The men stood up to acknowledge her and she motioned for them to sit down. “It’s good to see all of you boys, not that I’m surprised. Family is usually around when they’re needed,” she turned to JD, “even if you don’t realize you do.”

“Yes ma’am. I reckon they are.” JD answered. He watched as the Tanners exited one of the conference rooms. “I need to talk to Vin for a minute…Nettie?”

Nettie patted him on the shoulder. “I’m fine. These handsome young men will keep me company.” She watched him hurry down the hall and sighed. “Don’t give up on our boy. When he falls he’s gonna need strong hands to help him up.”

“None of us are giving up on JD. We’ll be here, no matter how long it takes.” Buck said as he stared down the hall, a bit peeved that obviously JD could talk to Vin with no problem, when he was clearly uncomfortable with them. He muttered under his breath, “We’re here too, Kid, always.”

~~~7~~~

Five men observed JD approach Vin. The two younger men carried on an intense conversation before Douglas Banks exited the conference room and motioned for JD to follow him down the hall. Vin watched them go, sighed, placed his hand on Kelli’s waist, and headed toward his brothers.

Chris waited until they were close and then stood. “What’s going on?”

“The attorneys came to an agreement. Once the judge approves their motion…”  Vin blew out a breath. “…this thing is over, at least legally.”

“Praise the Lord,” Nettie said.

Kelli knew what was coming and deflected the conversation. “I need to get back to the office for a meetin’ with Travis.” She met Chris’s eyes. “You wouldn’t, by any chance, know what he wants, would you?”

“I do,” Chris said. “He wanted me to go to Texas with him to set up some particulars on the new San Antonio unit. I declined, so you get to go instead. You leave Wednesday and will probably be gone a week. I figured Vin could handle four kids, work, and keep the house from falling down without you there for a few days.” He ignored the glare Vin shot his way.

“You, sir, have a mean streak.” She shook her head and turned to Nettie. “May I escort you to where JD will be waitin’?”

“Thank you. JD has worked so hard to make this happen, I know he’s relieved.”  Nettie hugged Chris and nodded to the others.

Kelli leaned closer to kiss Vin good-bye. She whispered for his ears only, “Play nice.”

Vin kissed her back and uttered softly under his breath, “Deserter.”

Buck waited until Kelli and Nettie were far enough away not to hear and then growled. “Just like that, it’s over? Casey walks away with no punishment?”

Vin measured his words. “The doctor’s statement sealed the deal. Casey belongs in a hospital, not a prison and this is what JD wants. Once it’s official, he can fill you in on the details.”

“I detect a bit of anxiety on your part, Vin.” Ezra said. “Isn’t this what you wished for?”

“Yes, but now all our evidence will be released and JD wants everything we found in his home returned to him.”

Josiah closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer before asking, “Everything?”

Buck looked from Vin to Josiah. “Well it does belong to JD. What’s the problem?”

Chris wanted to keep things civil and avoid another blowup between Vin and Buck. He decided to intervene. “There was a recording of the attack and a journal Casey kept. I don’t know everything she wrote, but from what little I do know, it could mean more problems for JD.”

“Amen,” Josiah said. “Vin, you can’t let him read ….”

Vin shook his head. “I already told him the worst of it, Josiah, and by law I have to give him Casey’s personal possessions. He gets the journal, but the DVDs …I reckon I might have to look for ‘em. It could take a while, seein’ I don’t rightly remember where I filed ‘em.

* Good, make certain they stay misfiled*.

*No problem, Cowboy, I promise they will never see the light of day.”

*Hold off on returning the guns too.* Chris remembered all too well the dark days of his own grief.

*You got it*

“Guess this is another private matter…no need to clue in the rest of us right?” Buck interrupted, glaring at Vin. “Hell, we’re family too, but we’ve been cut out from the get go. Why would you want to include us now?”

Ezra stood and cleared his throat. “Gentlemen, I regret leaving good company; however. I have an appointment on another legal matter.”

Chris was aware that Ezra’s appointment concerned Linda’s move for custody of the children. “Call me when you’re done.”

“Absolutely,” Ezra answered. “I trust y’all will remember this is a courthouse and family laundry should be aired in private.”

Chris nodded. “We’ll be fine.”

Josiah elbowed Nathan. “Since it appears JD won’t need us hanging around, I suppose we should head back to the office.” The two men stood to leave and walked out with Ezra.

Placing one hand on Buck’s shoulder and the other on Vin’s, Chris guided them to the bench. “Lets sit and wait together.” He made sure he positioned himself between the two.

“Buck, family or not, you know Vin can’t tell you what he found…and… Vin, since we’re not privy to all the information you gathered, we may not see things the way you see them. “So,” he slapped them both on the back, “I say you both should agree to disagree and call a truce.”

Every muscle in Buck’s body tensed. “Is that a suggestion or an order?”

“Whichever works, just do it.” Chris dropped his hands and leaned back. “Here comes JD and Nettie. Smile boys.” The three men stood to meet them.

JD had his hand on Nettie’s arm and a big smile on his face. “We made it past the first big hurdle. The judge accepted the motion. Casey’s gonna be transferred to a private hospital later this afternoon. I won’t be able to see her everyday, but at least she won’t be going to prison.”

Chris nodded, the smile on JD’s face was heartwarming, and he could accept the outcome as long as the kid was okay with it. “I’m happy for you.” He nudged Buck’s side. “We all are aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Buck swallowed hard. “Hey, the days will pass before you know it.”

“Vin, how soon can you get the evidence released?” 

Tanner understood how JD was anxious to read Casey’s journal, and while he would like to delay giving it to him, he knew time was up. “I’ll start the process when I get back to the office. Might take a few days but I’ll get it to you as soon as I can.”

“Great.” JD nodded. “I need to get home and pick up the girls, but in case I forgot to say it, I do appreciate all of you being here today.” He started to leave, but turned back toward Buck. “I know you were counting on me to help with the Rein’s rodeo, but I need to take care of my family first, so you might need to ask someone else. You understand, right?”

“Sure, Kid. You do what you have to, we’ll manage.” Buck reached out and squeezed his arm. “Take care of yourself too.”

Nettie said. “I stay on his case about that all the time. Sometimes, he even listens.”

“Nettie keeps me straight, don’t worry.” JD glanced at his watch. “We really need to go. I’ll talk to you soon, Buck.”

“Yeah…soon,” Buck’s heart clenched as he watched them walk down the hall. He wanted to believe the worst was over for his young brother, but he knew better.

Reins of Change ~ 1:00 p.m.

Cait was in the kitchen when she heard a knock. Thinking it was Jesse or Willard, she answered the door with a smile, which quickly faded. Linda was the last person she expected to see.

“Doctor Broderick, you may remember me, I am Linda Larabee.  I understand from my brother that my daughter, Grace, spends her days here. I want to see her.” Linda did not waste any time with chitchat.

Linda attempted to push past Cait, but she blocked her.

Stepping outside, Cait closed the door behind her. “Grace is a student here; however, you are not on the list of authorized family members to have access to her.”

“I am her mother. I do not need your permission to see my own daughter.” Linda placed her hands on her hips and huffed. “I demand to see her, now.”

“You can stand there and demand until hell freezes over, but without Mister Larabee’s permission it is not possible. Please leave.” Cait enjoyed seeing the look of irritation flash across Linda’s face.

Linda softened her voice to a silky purr. “I am certain Chris just forgot to tell you that we discussed me picking up Grace yesterday evening.” She smiled. “Of course, he was a bit ‘preoccupied’. We had …uh… an intimate reconciliation, which took most of the night.”  Tossing her blonde locks with a shake of her head, she continued, “You know how men are, once the clothes come off, their brains forget to function.”

Cait bit her tongue to keep from losing her temper with this woman. “Miss…”

“It’s Larabee, Missus Christopher Larabee.” Linda smiled. “There’s no need to bother Chris at work. Just bring Grace to me and we’ll be on our way.”

“Grace is in my care and will not leave this property without her father’s permission.” Cait took a step toward Linda, her expression hardening. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but your lies won’t fly around here. Now I want you to leave, before I call the Sheriff’s office and have a Deputy escort you off my land.”

Linda’s eyes turned cold and her voice became hard-edged, “Your land? Part of this property came from the Southern Breeze, and if you plan to keep it, you best remember who you’re talking to. When Chris hears how you’ve treated me, you might just lose the Larabee 7 land as well.”

“I’ll take my chances, Miss Dubois.” Cait stood her ground, refusing to call her Larabee. ”I have a clear title to this land, signed, sealed and legal. You do understand the concept of binding legal documents don’t you?”

Ignoring the dig, Linda fumed. “I will have my daughter and you will regret aligning yourself with my husband.”

“Ex-husband,” Cait corrected her. “Now leave and do not come back.”

Without a word, Linda turned and stalked over to her car, all the while planning revenge against the little nobody who had the nerve to deny her access to her own daughter.

Caitlyn was shaking with anger as she watched Linda drive away. Her first impulse was to call Chris, but then she thought about it, deciding it was better to tell him in person. Grace was safe and he had enough to deal with this morning. Instead, she called Dottie to warn her in case Linda doubled back and went after Cody. Then she called Walter to alert him, requesting that he send someone over to Chris’s house to stand guard over Cody, while she and Grace made a trip to the MCAT office.

MCAT Office -2:00 p.m.

Chris tapped his pen on the desk while he tried to come up with an answer for Vin’s question. “Stall him…hell, blame it on Barlow. JD knows how the U.S. Attorney’s office is anything but fast.”

Vin shrugged a shoulder. “I’ll try, but he knows I should have all the evidence returned by Friday at least.”

“Just give him a few days to adjust to this latest development, before you burst his bubble with that damn journal.”

Vin nodded. “Will do…”

A small blond tornado bursting into Chris’s office interrupted his words. “Daddy, I’m here!” Grace ran over and jumped toward Chris, confident her father would catch her.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Chris caught and hugged his daughter, looking over her head to the woman who followed her. “Cait, this is a pleasant surprise, don’t tell me I forgot…”

Cait shook her head. “We had an errand to run and Grace wanted to see her daddy.  You know Grace, when she sets her mind to something.”

Sensing the tension radiating from Cait, Vin decided to help. “Grace, I have some cookies in my office. You want to sneak away with me and have some?”

“Cookies… Yay,” Grace squealed as she scampered off her Dad’s lap and ran over to her Uncle Vin.

Chris laughed. “She sold out her old man for a cookie.”

“We’ll be back.” Vin scooped her up, threw her over his shoulder and tickled her, closing the door as they exited the room.

Chris stood, walked around his desk and pulled Cait to him. “Now tell me why you’re really here.”

“Linda,” she sighed, “came to Reins and demanded I hand over Grace to her. She said you knew about it. I refused; she got mad, made a few meaningless threats, and finally left. I called Dottie and Walter to warn them Linda was around, and then brought Grace here. I knew you’d want to see for yourself she was all right.”

“Sonofabitch, I should have known she’d make trouble.” Chris dropped his hands from Cait’s arms and began to pace.” The custody hearing isn’t scheduled until the end of July. My attorney warned me not to contact her before then, but I can’t have her coming around trying to steal my kids.”

Cait moved to block his pacing. “Chris, she is not going to get past, Dottie, Max, me, or anyone on Larabee 7. Listen to your lawyer and stay away from her. She wants you to come after her, to show you have a volatile temper or that you are not willing to let the judge decide. Anything she can use against you she will.  Fight her in court on your terms, not out here on hers.”

He stared at Cait for a moment and then sighed. “You’re right. She’s counting on me to get angry, storm over to Matt’s, make a scene, and give her more to throw at me. I reckon it’s time to tell everyone what’s happening, so they can watch for trouble, but I won’t go looking for it.” He pulled her back into his arms. “Thank you for protecting my daughter.”

“You’d do the same for Jesse if the situation were reversed.” She raised her hand to stroke his jaw. “Trust and faith, Larabee, it’s an unbeatable combination.”

He rested his chin on the top of her head and sighed. “Yeah, trust and faith, we could all use a big dose of both about right now.”

Chapter 17

We never know the impact we will have on the world. All we can do is go out there, live..., and let destiny lead us.

Friday, June 20 ~ 1:00 p.m.

Vin sat in his truck in front of JD’s home for a full five minutes, before he opened the door. The last time he parked here, it was to meet the forensic crew the day after the attack and the memory of that experience, he would just as soon forget. Had it actually been less than a month?  Retrieving a package from the front seat, he took a deep breath and headed toward the porch.

JD stepped out the door, just as he reached the steps. “You sat there so long, I thought you were gonna change your mind about staying.”

“Considered it,” Vin acknowledged.  He stepped onto the porch and joined JD; the two men moved over to the chairs and sat down.

A few moments of awkward silence ensued before JD said. “I’m okay with this, Vin, really. I’ve had time to think about what you told me, and talked to Casey’s doctors. I understand that her illness dictated her behavior.”

“Reckon I just need to worry about you, Kid.” He handed the package to JD. “Casey’s journal. The rest of the stuff won’t be available until next week, but I figured this is what you wanted the most.”

JD nodded. “Yeah, I need to…,” he swallowed hard, “…knowing and seeing are two different things. I know the Casey who wrote this is ill.  Still…” JD clutched the book to his chest. “I have to read her journal to move on.”

The expression on JD’s face would haunt the Texan for a long time. He wanted to rip the book away from JD and tear it into pieces, to spare his brother the pain of reading it. If he thought it possible to stop the hurt he would, but maybe facing the written truth head-on was what JD needed. “Kel’s still out of town, so I’ll be hangin’ close to home for the weekend. If you need me, just holler.” He stood to leave and patted JD on the shoulder before he said, “Remember, you don’t have to face anythin’ alone, unless you choose to.”

JD nodded, rose to his feet, and walked to the edge of the porch with the Texan. “Thanks Vin, for being honest with me and giving me the journal when I know you didn’t want to.”

Vin smiled. “Guess I wasn’t foolin you about makin’ you wait all week.”

“No, but I appreciate why you did. Hell, I’d probably have done the same thing in your place.” He extended his hand. “We’re good?”

Reaching out, Vin gripped JD’s hand. ”Yeah, we’re good. Call me if you need anythin’, day or night, and I’ll be here.”

JD watched Vin leave and hesitated before going back inside. Since Vin had told him everything about Casey, all he could think of was getting his hands on this journal and proving to the world they were wrong.  Deep in his soul, he knew they weren’t though, and he had decided several times not to read the damn thing at all. Yet, he needed to get past his denial and accept the truth, if her words could help him do that, he had to try.

~~~7~~~

Once inside his bedroom, JD opened the journal. He caressed the pages as tears formed, on seeing the familiar handwriting. Closing the book, he sat quietly on the bed for a moment. This didn't feel right, reading Casey's personal thoughts. After much wrestling with his conscience, JD finally reopened the book…and read.

Page after page revealed the alter ego Casey had been living with…he had been living with. He did not recognize this person at all. She talked about JD as if he were in mortal danger and was convinced the FBI would take him away from her at any given moment. At the same time, her thoughts about JD were conflicting. She clearly loved him, but she was also certain he was conspiring with his family about her behind her back.

It was apparent she partially blamed JD and JJ for not feeling like a real woman anymore, something she began to comment on repeatedly…wanting to feel like a real woman again. Her determination to achieve deliverance reduced JD to heart-wrenching sobs, realization sinking in that his Casey, the woman he loved, the mother of his children and only woman he ever made love to, had cheated on him. As if to torture himself, he read again the damning words, which described Casey’s erotic one-night stand.

Casey’s Journal entry, May 3

"After Becky dumped me to go screw Wes, I couldn't believe my luck when Antonio invited me to his place. No sooner were we inside his apartment, he had my clothes off and his mouth and hands were all over me. He felt warm and strong and lifted me, taking only a moment to whip out a condom before penetration. I had no time to think, he filled me as I wrapped my legs around him, and his movements had me screaming in ecstasy.

When he led me to the bed, Antonio took his time. I began to feel like myself again. This man saw only the woman I truly am as his warm mouth licked and sucked my breasts; his teeth grazed my nipples, sending waves of electricity through my arching body. I thought I would split in two as he wrenched open my legs, his fingers inside me, massaging, stroking, it was wonderful. I came quickly when he removed his hand and his mouth took control. I swear his tongue reached my throat as he worked me to completion. Despite pounding into me with a force that took my breath away, when he finally entered me it was more than I could have wished for. He fell on me, both of us, sweaty and exhausted.

I'm sure if his girlfriend hadn't been due back, he would have been more intimate, but I left soon after we were finished."

Casey’s Journal entry, May 4 

"Today, I feel ashamed. What was I thinking? Antonio didn't want me, he wanted a quick fuck...another notch on his bedpost. He didn't even cuddle me when we were finished, just pulled out, leaving me splayed and exposed, slapped my ass, rolled off his condom, and told me to “move it” because his girlfriend was due back in an hour.  I cried the whole time I dressed and then raced outside to hail a cab.

I called JD and begged him to let me come home. I love him so much and I need him to know. I pray I can make this right. He's the only man I have ever loved and the only man that wants me for...me."

Swiping at his eyes in anger, JD got up from the bed, walked across the room and picked up the book Ezra had given him. He still had not read it yet…maybe it was time. He left Nettie a note, told Missus Hastings he would be back soon, went to the barn, and pulled back a sheet of tarpaulin. The last time he rode his bike, Casey sat behind him. He stroked it lovingly, momentarily transported to happier times before he climbed on, and started the engine. Coasting through the barn doors, he stopped to close them, tucked the books inside his leather jacket, switched off his cell, jammed on his helmet, and tore off. Now he needed to get away, if only for a little while.

~~~7~~~

JD rode for a good hour or so, not heading toward any particular destination, just enjoying the thrill of riding, free as a bird, the wide-open spaces holding no boundaries, no limits. Eventually he came across a mountain track, which veered off the road. Stopping to assess it, he decided to push on, traveling up the steep incline until he reached the top. He cut the engine, dropped the kickstand, and removed his helmet.  As he moved toward the edge of a grassy knoll ahead of him, he inhaled deeply at the sight of Denver and its surrounding areas beneath him. After a minute, he turned and walked over to a stand of trees, sitting against one of them. A soft breeze ruffled his dark hair, while he removed his jacket, the two books falling to the ground as he did so.

JD stared at the books for a long time, eventually picking up the Legends journal. As he turned it in his hands, a strange, yet eerily familiar voice startled him.

"You can't read the message, if you don't open it."

JD jerked, spinning around to meet whoever had followed him, but there was no one around.  He took a shaky breath, "Jesus, JD, get a grip...you're losing it."

"No you're not, and I'm here to prove that to you."

JD jumped to his feet, attempting to draw his gun from his missing belt holster, waving and pointing his now equally empty hand in the air while cursing Vin for holding back his guns.

 "Who are you? Show yourself!" A chuckle drew his gaze toward one of the trees. He gasped as a young dark-haired man with a Bowler hat on his head, and wearing a wool suit with a star pinned on it, stepped forward.

"I guess we're more alike than I realized. Put that ol' invisible gun away, huh?" he chuckled again as he took another step closer. "'Sides, even if you did have one, it's a bit late for bullets to affect me now."

JD's mouth gaped. Whoever this man was, he looked...familiar...too familiar. "Who...who are you?"

The man approached him, dropping to ground next to the tree where JD had been sitting. "How do you ever shave without cutting your nose off? Don't you ever look in a mirror? It's me...I mean...you...I’m one of them… we saw one another briefly last year. Of course reading the book would explain everything...if you ever open it. You must remember Tracker and Cowboy." The ageless sheriff laughed, "You know, Chris really hates that name."

JD dropped to his knees, shaking his head to clear his vision. "Oh God...I have lost it...well, I guess it had to come, with all the shit that's been happening lately or maybe I'm dreaming? Yeah...I can go along with that. Okay  ...say whatever you have to say, and then I can wake up."

Sheriff Dunne looked at him, his expressive hazel eyes showing nothing but compassion. "I know what you've been through...are still going through. They sent me to guide you toward the right path, I'm here to help."

"Who are they?" JD asked, relaxed now as he was convinced he was sleeping.

"The Legendary Seven," he answered. "My brothers...just like the men you hold dear are brothers of your heart. It's our destiny."

JD scowled, eyeing the familiar face as he sat next to him. "Is...Is the old Buck with you?"

The young sheriff smiled. "Yeah...he's with me, although he might take exception to being called old. He still makes fun of my hat and generally gives me a hard time, although, we’re a little different now… matured a little, you know?"

"What about your hat?" JD asked, looking at it. "I reckon it's kind of cool."

He frowned at hearing the odd sounding statement. "Well it doesn't really keep me as cool as a hat should, but...I like it." He glanced off to one side, nodding. "I'm wasting time; I need to explain something to you."

JD looked to where the sheriff had nodded. "Who else is here?"

"Well, he's not really here, but I can see my Buck."

JD's eyes filled. "Wish I could see him."

"Missing your Buck, huh?"

"Yeah, I am."

"You'll reconcile...soon...and you'll both be better for it. Now...you need to read our journal. It explains your place with the Seven...why you're so important...why you're the glue that holds them together."

"Are you comparing me to superglue, now?"

Sheriff tilted his head. "What's superglue?"

JD laughed. "Never mind. You were saying?" He figured he'd better hurry this along, he might wake up any minute.

The Sheriff removed his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. “When you came along, the six men you joined up with saw something in you, which reminded them of themselves, a piece of their youth, overflowing with courage, loyalty, bravado, and optimism. Call it fate, destiny, karma, or plain damn luck, but the truth is, under other circumstances, we’d probably never have chosen the rest as role models or friends because we are all so different. Nevertheless, each of us stands for something the others appreciate. They admire you, you admire them, but they protect you instinctively... guarding the pieces of themselves you possess. I used to fight it...boy, did I ever. Almost died...several times trying to prove myself, to show I was their equal, not their weakest link, same as you have."

At those words, JD stared at him. Could he read his mind?

Sheriff Dunne smiled. "If anything, you’re their strongest link. They need to nurture and protect you, even if they don’t understand all the reasons why. I know you have a call to be your own man, but you don't need to shut them out to become independent.” He chuckled. “That’s something they’ll finally have to come to terms with, even Buck… Embrace your destiny Kid. You can be strong, and still have the most important thing a man could ask for...  you have an eternal bond with six extraordinary men. They know you have their backs, all they want is to watch yours...just a little more intensely...but that’s all part of what made us who we are. Do you understand?"

After a moment, JD nodded, a small smile creeping to his lips. "Yeah, I think I’m beginning to. God...I've been so stupid. I've been pushing away the best thing in my life, just to prove a point." He paled. "What if it's too late? What if they don't want to help me anymore?"

"Ain’t ever gonna happen Kid, all they're waiting on is for you to make the first move...they've been waiting since day one...especially Buck. You'll know when it's time. The book explains everything. My brothers forced my hand to come here because I wasn't sure you were ready, but if there's one thing I've learned...it's to trust them...which I did every day, with my life and do now with my spirit. You still have a tough road ahead, but you have six good men waiting on you. Don't fight your fate, and when you're ready, let your brothers help you."

Sheriff Dunne stood, JD following him up. "Are you leaving?"

He nodded. “I have no choice. I did what I came to do and for now, my time is up. I will be seeing you again though and I’m never too far away.  Remember this, you have a lot of love in your heart, don't lock it away. It took me a long time to say it, hell," he laughed, "over a century, but, I love my brothers just like I know you  love yours...enjoy it.  They also return those feelings and tell you all the time, with everything they do and say." With a familiar grin, he touched the brim of his hat, turned and walked away. As fast as he had appeared, he was gone.

Sitting down hard on the ground, JD stared a long time at the empty space where the man from the past had vanished. Finally, he accepted that it had not been a dream, and picked up his Legend journal, reading until the afternoon light began to fade. It was time to go home.

The sight of Nettie and the children on the porch when he rode up the driveway made JD's heart swell with happiness and love. He had called ahead to tell Nettie he was coming home and they waited impatiently for him. He barely had his bike parked and his helmet off before the twins ran toward him. Going down on one knee, he opened his arms to scoop up his girls. They proceeded to tell him about their day, both trying to talk at the same time.  He approached Nettie, who held his youngest, leaned down to kiss her cheek and then JJ.

"Looks like you've been doing some thinking, son."

JD nodded. "Yeah, something like that. Things are much clearer now. I still have a lot to do, and it might not all be smooth sailing, but I can handle whatever fate throws my way. Once Casey's home, we're putting this mess where the past belongs...behind us.”

Chapter 18

Anger may be repressed, denied, hidden and often misdirected, but once unleashed is difficult to recall.

JD opened the door to the master bedroom and stopped dead. Casey was on the bed, naked, a strange man pounding into her as she cried out in pleasure.

"No!”

Drawing his service weapon, JD fired repeatedly until the pair was a bloody, mangled, lifeless mess.

Barely casting a glance at his handiwork, he turned and strode directly to the phone on the other side of the room to dial a familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Buck…”

"JD? What's wrong?" The utter despair in his brother's voice cut Buck to the core, a chill sweeping through him. "I'm on my way...y'hear? I'm coming, son..."

JD could hear his brother’s words, but they did not register with his numbed senses. Unable to stop his tears, he stared back at Casey's lifeless eyes and slowly brought his gun to his head. "I'm sorry, Buck...I'm so sorry..." He raised his gun to his temple

About to launch into his familiar litany of soothing, comforting words... a gunshot and a heavy thud caused Buck to jerk as he screamed into the phone. "JD!!"

"No!"

JD's heaving breaths sounded in the darkness as he bolted upright in his bed. His heart pounded so loudly he was sure Nettie could hear it on the other side of the house.  Snapping on the bedside lamp, he scanned the room and found he was still alone; the clock read five, which meant it must be Saturday morning.

Running a shaky hand over his face, he got up, went to the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and splashed cold water over his face. Still dripping wet, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He appeared tired, drawn and for the first time in his life, he looked as well as felt his age. Reading Casey's journal must have affected him more than he realized. The words he read earlier played on his mind, particularly the entry of her affair with Antonio. Somehow, he needed to get past this…and quickly.

Vin had promise to help if he asked, well by God, he was going to ask. It was time to take action, and tackle the demon who had invaded his life, head-on. Making a decision, he nodded to himself…he needed to talk to Becky first.

Saturday June 21

 Vin looked across the front seat of his truck at the young man staring out the window. JD’s call had come out of the blue, but he readily agreed to accompany him on a short road trip. He did not know why JD felt the need to talk to Casey's friend, Becky, but he had vowed to support him whenever he asked…so here Vin was, supporting. He just wished the kid would at least say something, but he was not about to push it.

When they arrived at the apartment, JD only had one question. “How much does Becky know about what happened?”

“I only told her Casey had an undiagnosed illness. That I was looking for information about the time she stayed with her to help you fill in some blanks with her memory.” Vin waited for JD to ask for specifics, when he didn’t, he continued, “Becky was eager to help and gave me the details I needed without askin’ too many questions. You can tell her whatever you want to.”

JD nodded. “Casey has a virus and she’s still not well enough for visitors.”

“Works for me, you talk, I’ll just sit and listen.” Vin opened the truck door, got out and joined JD to enter the building.

Becky’s welcome was warm and sincere; she had always liked JD and she was more than willing to help Casey find some peace of mind if she could. While she did not know all the details about her friend’s illness, JD gave her the impression that his wife’s condition was not serious and her memory was only missing minor things, which had occurred over the past month or so.  By the time Becky relayed the events of the time Casey spent with her, he made it appear that she had successfully filled in the missing pieces.

Becky was relieved and smiling when JD thanked her and seemed ready to leave. Vin excused himself and went out to bring the truck around.

Once Vin went outside, JD grasped Becky's hand. "Things have been a bit hectic at Larabee 7 recently. I thought it might be a nice gesture to treat the ladies to a 'girls' night out. Casey seemed to like the club you took her to, but she couldn't recall the name."

Becky smiled. “Just a minute, I'll write the address down for you."

When JD left the apartment, he tucked the paper into his denim jacket pocket. Now all he needed to do was dump Vin, and set his plan into motion. That was going to be tricky.

~~~7~~~

On the way home JD was chatty and animated. Vin grinned, it had been a long time since he'd seen JD this happy. Becky obviously laid some of the younger man's demons to rest. As they pulled into the Wells' drive, Vin cut the engine, and was about to get out.

"Vin…do you mind? I'm kinda tired…I think I'll head on to bed as soon as I get the kids down." He opened the passenger door to get out. “Thanks for going with me, I appreciate it.”

“Sure thing, Kid,” Tanner waited for the younger man to turn around. "Good to see you smiling again, bro. I'm guessin’ you're startin’ to put a few things behind you."

Dunne nodded. "Yeah, and after tonight, I can cross one more thing off my list."

Nettie came out onto the porch and waved to Vin as he was leaving.

JD smiled as he approached her. "I have one more thing to do, it might take me until late tonight, do you mind…?"

Nettie smiled back at him. "Not at all, honey. You go ahead, we're all fine."

With a nod, JD headed for the barn to get his bike. In minutes, he was heading back toward Denver.

Vin was almost home when he slammed on the brakes and stopped the truck. JD said after tonight I can cross one more thing off my list, not after today. His gut clenched and he pulled out his cell, relieved to see he still had Becky’s name listed. He punched in her number and played a hunch.

"Hey Becky, this is Vin, “I forgot to ask JD so I reckon you could tell me. Were you able to answer his last question?"

"Oh yes, and I hope the Larabee 7 ladies have a great time…it's a really good club for a girl’s night out."

Vin barely thanked her before he slammed the phone shut and exploded. He pounded his fist onto the dashboard. "Stupid…stupid… damnit JD…damnit…fuck and damn it."

He grabbed the phone again and hit the speed dial button for Chris. "Get your boots on, cowboy; JD's gone bastard huntin’."

"Call Josiah, too," Chris ordered.

"Not Buck?"

"No…JD's not ready, yet… definitely Josiah."

In less than fifteen minutes, the three men were on JD's trail. Vin was running with full lights and siren, praying they would get there in time. They were not going to see JD through all this shit for him to throw it all away on one senseless act. Josiah and Chris were silent, their tension mounted as they drew closer to the club.

~~~7~~~

JD walked into the darkened club, looked around, took a seat at the bar, and ordered a club soda. He needed a clear head for this. He touched the bartender's arm to stop him from leaving after he received his drink.

"Is Antonio here tonight?"

The man eyed him a little suspiciously. JD laughed. "He's a friend of mine, I was in town, thought I'd look him up."

The bartender nodded. "Yeah, he's here…should be on stage in five minutes."

"Thanks."

Five minutes later, JD caught sight of the man who had robbed him of something special. While JD watched the man gyrate and tease the Saturday night crowd of women, he figured dying was too good for the cocky bastard. His anger grew as the performance went on. Once concluded, JD slipped away and headed toward the back. He caught sight of the stripper going into his dressing room, followed him inside, and locked the door behind him.

Antonio scrutinized the smaller man, dismissing him as a threat instantly. "Can I help you?"

"Is that what you said to her? Or was it 'can I help myself, lady?'"

"What the hell? Get out."

"Oh, classic line…that's what you said to her after you fucked her, you asshole."

Antonio tilted his head. "Who? Your girl?"

"No…my wife."

Antonio had no idea who JD was talking about since he had a different woman almost every night, but this guy was no threat, so he figured he'd have a little fun.

"Oh yeah…I remember her…my God…she was begging for it. Nice firm tits…good ass… man…when I fucked her…woweee…so hot…and tight and willing. I'm a big guy you know, she said I was the best fuck she'd ever had and those sweet lips…," he laughed, “not just her mouth, you know what I'm saying?"

"Stop it."

"What's wrong little man? Couldn't get it up for her…too small, maybe, so she had to come get her pussy filled by a real man?"

"Stop!” JD lunged at him, getting in a few punches before the man was on the floor grunting in pain, the young agent on top of him. "I'm gonna rip your balls off, you bastard, and cram ‘em down your throat.”

~~~7~~~

 Chris, Vin and Josiah raced into the nightclub and headed straight for the man tending bar.

Chris growled out, "Is Antonio here?"

"Jeeze he's popular tonight." The suspicious look was back as he eyed the three men. "Is he gay?"

"What do you mean, popular?" Josiah asked.

"Some kid was asking…said he was a friend of his…"

"…which way?"

"Huh?"

Vin grabbed the front of the man’s shirt. "Which Goddamn way did he go?" The man pointed toward the back, Tanner released his hold, and the three Agents rushed through the audience of women, toward the dressing rooms.

 A small crowd had gathered outside Antonio's door, listening to the crashes and the shouts coming from within.

"Federal agents, move out of the way.” Vin flashed his badge and the small crowd scattered.

Chris kicked the door in, leaving it in pieces as they rushed into the room.

Josiah saw what was happening and yelled, "John Daniel!" He pulled JD off the man while Chris and Vin helped Antonio up.

"Let go of me, Josiah…Let go!" Josiah could barely contain him while he pinned him against a wall.

Antonio pointed to the young agent. "I'm gonna sue his ass…I want him arrested!"

Chris glared at him. "I don't think so. You walk away now, and we'll call this quits. Trust me…you really don't want to get on our bad side."

The stripper took in the feral expressions on Chris and Vin's faces, then toward Josiah, who was holding back a battling JD. "Sure…okay…it was nothing man…just blowing off a little steam, you know?"

"Good decision."

"No! This isn't over…you got no right…let me go!" JD was still raging, but he was tiring. With a nod from Chris, Josiah hauled JD up straight and they frog-marched the struggling younger man out of the building and into an alley, finally letting him go. JD pushed Josiah hard in the chest, but the larger man barely moved.

"You bastards…you had no right!" JD clenched his fists. "He…he took my wife…my Casey…and he fucked her…do you understand me? He fucked her! He…he took away something special…something pure…I wanted to whip his ass…You had no right!"

“Son, you’re angry and understandably so, but the man inside that club is not the problem. He’s just an easy target, and you going to jail for assaulting him will not change anything.” Josiah attempted to put his hand on JD’s shoulder, but he pulled away.

"He took away my Casey." Pain from his healing wounds surged through his body. Exhausted from his struggles, JD fell back against the wall, and slid to the ground. 

The three men choked back their emotions. They had expected everything to catch up to JD eventually, and feared he would crash when it did. Vin figured reading that damn journal had finally pushed JD to his limit.  He was just sorry he had missed the signs earlier.

Dropping to his knees in the debris-strewn alley, Chris pulled the younger man toward him, ignoring the little bit of fight he exhibited, until the younger man finally succumbed to the supportive clinch. JD pounded his fist on Chris’s back as he cried softly, while Vin trotted off to get the truck. With his strength spent, JD could barely stand, and Josiah helped the pair to their feet. The two men half-walked, half-carried him to the truck, loaded his bike into the back, and headed home.

Chris glanced in his rearview mirror as JD leaned into Josiah, muttering how sorry he was. He looked at Vin and said, "Call Nettie, tell her JD's staying with me tonight and I'll bring him home in the morning.”

"I don't think he wants her to know what Casey…"

"She won't," Chris assured him. “Just tell her he over indulged in the spirits and I’ll take care of sobering him up.” He shook his head. “This is far from over for him, but for tonight we’ll take care of the kid. Even if he doesn't realize it yet…we've still got his back."

Vin arched his eyebrow, “And tomorrow?”

“We take this one day at a time, for as long as it takes.”

Sunday June 22~ Chris’s Journal

It has been a helluva six weeks on the Larabee 7. For a while, I was afraid we might not recover from all that has happened. Yet, after last night, I feel much better about the prospects of us coming through this dark period intact. JD is having a rough go at the moment, but he taking the right steps to work through the hand fate has dealt him.

We talked most of the night and I realized that his journey is not much different from the one I took after Sarah died. The big difference…Casey is still alive and JD knows he can count on his six brothers to help him with whatever he wants…and we will be there for him when that time comes. He still has a few things to come to terms with first, but I have faith that he is going to find the answers he needs.

In the meantime, I am concerned about Buck. I believe deep down he understands what JD is doing, but it does not make it any easier for him to stand aside and let him do it. The one thing I am certain of…the seven will survive whatever fate throws at us.

As for me personally, I’m still facing a fight to keep my kids, and as hard as it is to patiently wait for legal recourses, I am going to do this the right way. Caitlyn is helping me stay balanced, and becoming an important part of my life at the same time. When all this is over, she and I need to sit down and talk seriously about what we both expect from our relationship.

Gotta go…Grace is calling for her Daddy.

Chapter 19

Trials, temptations, disappointments -- all these are helps instead of hindrances, if one uses them rightly. They not only test the fiber of character but also strengthen it. Every conquering temptation represents a new fund of moral energy. Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.

*James Buckham

Saturday Morning, July 5

Larabee 7

Buck wadded another sheet of paper and threw the crumpled ball into the overflowing trashcan, which sat next to his desk. He was worried about JD and could not concentrate on his plans for the rodeo or anything else. Glancing at the clock for the umpteenth time over the past hour, he decided now was the right time to change things. He pushed his chair back, grabbed his keys, and hollered at Inez on his way out the door. “I’m going over to Josiah’s, be back in a while.”

It took him only a few minutes to reach the Sanchez home and now, here he stood, uncertain about his reasons for coming. After a moment’s hesitation, he knocked on the door.

Josiah opened the door and grinned. “Hey stranger, it’s good to see you.”

Stepping inside, Buck gathered his courage and blurted out his request. “Can we talk…in private?”

“Certainly, how about we go to my study?” 

Josiah led the way, sat down at his desk, and remained silent, while Buck wandered around the room a few minutes commenting on certain books or figurines. The counselor part of him observed his friend fidget and struggle as he gained the nerve to say what was on his mind.

At last, Buck plopped down in the chair opposite him and found his courage. “JD won’t let me help him. Why?”

“What makes you believe you’re not helping him?”

“Hell, he barely talks to me at all. He won’t let me close enough to do a damn thing.”

Josiah nodded his head and took a deep breath, measuring his words. “You’re giving him the space he needs to find his way. I’d say that’s a lot.”

“Giving him space is not helping.”

“Isn’t it?” Josiah leaned back in his chair, taking several moments to respond. ”We’ve all watched out for JD since he first came to us. He was young, inexperienced, and not jaded about the inequitable ways of the world.  We chose to mentor and attempted to protect him for good reasons. That was ten years ago and you must realize we do it now more from habit than necessity…don’t you? "

Buck sighed deeply. “Yeah, and I know I can be a bit over the top with my emotions at times, but damnit…this is JD....” He failed to complete the sentence, fighting back a new wave of emotion, which swept over him.

“JD understands more than you realize. He knows we’re here, that you… hell, all of us care, and we will never abandon him.” Josiah caught the ‘I’m not so sure about that’ look Buck threw him and chose to ignore it. “That knowledge gives him confidence and strength. Right now, he is experiencing grief, which comes from losing a time of his life where he felt comfortable and secure. A part of his past, you and I know he will never get back, no matter what happens in the future. Denial, isolation, anger, and depression are all necessary stages for him to go though until he can accept what has happened. We cannot go through the process for him or rush him past it. The only thing we can do is allow him the space to finish what he needs to, while offering our silent, unconditional support.”

“It’s not easy to sit and wait, but then…,” Buck glanced out the window. “I reckon this has been hard on all of us.”

Josiah sighed, stood, and moved around the desk to place his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Don’t dwell on what was; we need to focus on what we can do from here. There’s been nothing said or done among the seven of us, we can’t overcome.”

“Yeah, but….” Buck sucked in his breath, and then nodded, “I do need to mend a couple of fences, while JD does his thing.”

“I have a feeling those fences aren’t near as damaged as you might think.”

Buck stood and gripped Josiah’s hand. “I do hope you’re right.” He started to leave and then stopped “Thanks Josiah.”  

“Anytime, my door is always open.” Josiah walked him to the front porch and watched as Buck got in his truck and drove away. He never doubted that the strength of the seven would prevail over anything, but it felt good to see Buck ready to help it along.

~~~7~~~

Chris leaned against the corral fence, surveying the results of the morning’s work. The stock he and Vin had just added to the temporary holding pen filled with horses slated for the rodeo, were good choices. “Tomorrow, we should check on the herd in the high pasture.”

“Probably be a least half a dozen up there we could use.” Vin pulled off his gloves after he closed the gate, and slapped Chris on the shoulder. “Let’s head to the house, I’m ready for more coffee.”

“Reckon Kel’s doing okay with the kids?” Chris pushed away from the fence and fell in step with Vin.

Vin opened the driver’s side door of his truck, while Chris headed to the other side. “Hell, counting yours, she only has six to keep up with; she’s doing fine, trust me.”

Tanner Home

The second Vin opened the backdoor, Tracker shot past him moving somewhere around the speed of light.

Chris moved out of the dog’s path. “What the hell?” 

The two men hurried inside to find three giggling toddlers racing across the kitchen as fast as their little legs could move. Bren, Trey, and Cody came to a screeching halt when their fathers suddenly appeared before them.

Chris recognized the impish look in the boys’ eyes, he had seen that same look in Vin, JD, and Ezra’s eyes too many time to mention. He lifted Cody into his arms, while Vin corralled Bren and Trey.

Kelli stood on the other side of the room with her hands on her hips. “I only left the playroom for a minute, to sign for a letter, and they managed to terrorize the dog, leave a trail of toys from here to yonder, open the safety gate, and make an escape.”

Vin now held the twins and gave them a stern look, which only served to make them laugh louder.  He sighed. “So where are the other kids?”

Jason peeked around his mother. “I’m right here; Andi and Grace are watching Dora the Explorer.”  He stepped up to stand beside Kelli. “I was supposed to watch them while Mom answered the door. I tried, but…they’re really fast.”

“It’s not your fault Jason.”  Kelli slipped her arm across his shoulders. “They may be little, but they know better than to terrorize the dog and run in the house.”

Her words were soothing, but the tenseness he saw in his wife’s body contradicted her tone. Vin sensed there was more going on than just the boys playful antics. “Tracker appears to be okay, and …,” he directed his words to the twins. “I think a short timeout is called for.”

Chris noticed the unexplained tension radiating from his daughter and said, “I agree.” While still holding Cody, he reached over and took Bren from his father. “Jason, you take Trey and let’s get these imps settled in their playpen so they can start their timeout.”

Once Chris left the kitchen with the boys Kelli started to explain. “I’m sorry Vin, I should’ve gone straight back to the playroom, but I was upset and took an extra couple of minutes to compose myself. I thought I latched the gate before I left, but…hell, Jason’s right, they are fast.”

“No harm done and I’ll check the latch.” Vin pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. “Now, tell me why you’re upset.” 

“Walter escorted the mailman up here because I had to personally sign for the damn letter,” she freed one hand and reached into her jeans pocket,” this letter.” She waved it in the air, “It‘s a subpoena sent by Linda’s lawyers. They want to depose me as a witness for her side. I know Linda told them to do it.”

Vin drew her back to him and rested his chin on her head. “Don’t let her get to you, baby. This will all be over soon, and Chris will win, no matter what kind of tricks Linda tries to pull.”

Kelli sighed. “I hope so, because if he loses, I’m afraid he’ll take Grace and Cody and leave with them before he hands them over to her. I want you to tell him about this subpoena, and give him the packet of letters Linda left with me. If I do it, we’ll both end up rantin.’”

“Safety gate first, then I tackle Chris.” He kissed the top of her head. “Let’s go rescue him from the kids.”

~~~7~~~

An hour later, the babies were down for their naps, the latch on the gate was back in working order, and Kelli was calm enough to watch a movie with Jason, Andi and Grace. Chris was also over his initial anger about the latest move Linda had made and Vin was ready for a long vacation.

“I hope the date of the deposition doesn’t interfere with your trip to Texas.”

“Nope,” Vin said as he shook his head. “We’re not goin’. With all that’s happenin’ here, it just not a good time to take a three week trip.”

Chris exhaled noisily. “It’s not right that you and Kel have to change your plans, certainly not on my account, and I’m sure JD would feel the same way.”

“Dammit Chris, do you think we could pick up and leave for three weeks knowin’ what you’re facin’ with Linda and JD could be lookin’ at with Casey?”

Chris absently spun his coffee cup on the table “Life goes on…”

“Bullshit!’ Vin took a deep breath before he continued. “Look, Texas is not goin’ anywhere and none of the Texas Tanners have seen me in thirty years. Waitin’ a few more months won’t make a hill of beans worth of difference. Besides, my cousin, Wyatt

and I talk on the phone often. He sent me pictures of my father when he was young and of my grandfather. He also sent a passel of legal papers concerning my supposed inheritance from my grandfather to look over.” He leaned forward. “Most of all he, as well as the rest of the family down there, understands my family roots are here on the Larabee 7.”

“We’re already keeping all the children’s birthday parties low-keyed and private. We agreed the adults would take a pass this year on celebrating theirs, and we cancelled our traditional Fourth of July barbeque. Now, you want to take away the vacation you, Kel and the kids have been looking forward to.”

“Not take away…change.” Vin rubbed his neck to relieve some tension. “Jason and Andi are fine with a shorter trip to the Cowboy Museum and camping overnight by the lake at our cabin. They’re both anxious to be involved in the Reins Rodeo, and don’t mind not going to Texas until Christmas vacation.”

Chris shoved aside the packet of Linda’s letter Vin gave him earlier. They were only one more reminder of the consequences of ‘what if’. “Damn, I wish I could just erase the past six weeks and we could all start over.”

Vin shrugged his shoulders. “We can deal with the things we know. If we started over, who’s to say it wouldn’t have turned out worse?”

“I don’t know. It’s just difficult to believe that one or two seemingly immaterial actions could set so many life affecting issues into motion.  If I hadn’t allowed Linda’s beauty to blind me to her faults… If we saw the problem with Casey sooner,“   Chris shook his head, ”… and if I had handled Ice differently years ago, maybe I might have prevented the spawn of misery she inflicted on all of us and saved so many lives. There’s no end to the damage she caused….hell, is still causing.”

“Yeah and if you were so all knowin’ you could have seen your relationship with Linda as lust instead of love and not had two beautiful kids to worry over. You could have stopped Sarah from leavin’ the house the day she died. You would’ve known Jack was twisted about all the wrongs he thought you did, found Kel when she was a baby, called JD and warned him about Casey ….Hell, you could be Saint Christopher.”

“I get your point.” Chris shot Vin a glowering scowl. “One thing I have decided after all this…I’m ending the quest to decipher Ice’s code. The time to lay the past to rest is way overdue. I can and will live with the answers I have because the future of my family is more important. I won’t chance digging up anything that could put them in jeopardy.”

Vin nodded and then grinned. “Then, I reckon you could be a mini Saint Christopher in the makin’.”

“That’s Saint Christopher, Sir, to you.” His eyes twinkled with humor. “Tell me again why my daughter puts up with your ornery ass and smart mouth.”

Standing at the open back door, Buck said, “I’d take the fifth on that one Vin. It’s been my experience that fathers don’t really want to know those answers.”

“Come on in Buck,” Vin said. “The coffee’s fresh, you know where the cups are.”

Buck walked over and placed his hands on the back of an empty chair. “Think I’ll pass on the coffee, but I’m glad you’re both here. I have a few things need saying.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve had a burr under my saddle since JD…since he was hurt and Vin, I…

Vin shook his head, refusing to let Buck finish. “Reckon we’ve all been ridin’ rough.” He stood, looked Buck in the eye, and offered his hand as he asked, “We’re good?”

 Buck reached out, gripped Vin’s hand, pulled, and wrapped him in a bear hug, slapping him on the back with enthusiasm.

“Gentlemen, I do believe we are witnessing a Hallmark moment,” Ezra drawled from the entrance. Josiah and Nathan stood beside him, both grinning from ear to ear.

“Looks like I won’t need my bag Josiah, I don’t see any bloodshed.” Nathan walked in behind Ezra.

Josiah followed the others inside. “It appears our broken fences have been mended, and the walls are still standing.”

Vin drew away from Buck and said, “Hell, Josiah, you should know by now, we might bend, but we’ll never break.” He pointed to the cabinet. “Coffee’s still hot; grab y’all some while I get a couple more chairs.”

It pleased Buck to be on solid ground with five of his brothers again, but he kept glancing toward the door, hoping their seventh would appear.

Noting the expression on Buck’s face, Josiah explained. “As soon as you left my house, I made a few calls. Ezra and Nathan agreed with me that we should all be together…. I called JD too, but Nettie said he was at the hospital talking to Casey’s doctors.”

Nathan frowned. “Is she having more problems?”

“No, at least I don’t think so. “Chris answered. “The doctors say she can’t or won’t respond to him yet, but I know JD goes to the hospital every day…says she’d do the same for him if the situation was reversed.”

“Have you been talking to JD on a regular basis?” Nathan asked.

“Not really. I only hear from him off and on.” Chris watched Buck for his reaction. All he saw was a caring man sincerely interested in gaining more information about his brother’s welfare. “The only real conversation we’ve had was a couple of weeks ago.”

Chris thought back to the morning after the fiasco with Antonio. While he would never betray JD’s confidences, he could ease the others mind without going into unnecessary details.  “JD was having a rough few days trying to come to terms with a few things.” He shook his head. “No matter how strong a man thinks he is, he doesn’t realize how losing a woman he’s loved can bring him to his knees. Regardless of the circumstances... whether it’s permanent as in death; separated by choice with a divorce, temporarily lost or taken,” he looked at Vin, “or in JD’s case, due to serious illness, the process is the same…you grieve. JD had questions; he believed I could provide him with answers.”

Buck nodded. “He knew you would understand better than most of us.”

“I won’t go into what we discussed, but I can tell all of you….” Chris glanced to each man seated around the table. ”JD is dealing with this mess a helluva lot better than I ever did when my life took a drastic change.  Don’t get me wrong…he’s taken a hard hit and still needs more time to heal, but I’m confident he’s gonna make it through okay.”

“Damn straight he’ll make it.” Vin’s expression challenged anyone to argue the point.

Nathan smiled and said, “No argument here.”

“JD appears to have his priorities in order. He’s smart enough to know he has to take time to heal, physically as well as mentally, and stubborn enough not to give up on Casey, in spite of an uncertain outcome. His main concerns center on his children’s welfare, and if he finds he needs help, he knows we’re here for him. That’s a damn good combination if you ask me,” Josiah’s confidence resonated in every word he spoke.

As he listened to the words his brothers offered, Buck realized he had missed being with them like this. When they were together, their unique bond strengthened one another in ways that defied explanation. Closing his eyes, he said a silent prayer that JD would be back in their circle of solidarity soon. “JD is one of us, how could he not make it?”

Ezra leaned forward. “While I found our esteemed spirits from the past to be a bit ostentatious, and their presence disconcerting at times, their knowledgeable words are to be remembered.  If I recall properly, they said our greatest challenges still lay ahead, and I firmly believe the events of the past few weeks are included in those trials. JD might need more time before he rejoins us, but time is something we all have on our side.”

“The Seven have always been and will always be… Their strength is yours to draw on. .” Chris began quoting Cowboy’s words without thinking. “Embrace the past, cherish the future, and fight like hell for today. Our destiny to be allied by the timeless bonds of friendships and brotherhood which ties to our past and gifts us with the promise of tomorrow.”

“Amen,” Josiah and Nathan said simultaneously as a peaceful silence filled the room.

Chapter 20

Time stands still for no man or woman, change happens in spite of our best efforts to halt it. We can either fight against it, or accept the inevitable and roll with the flow.

Tuesday, July 15

MCAT ~ Larabee’s Office

Captain Tanner attempted to give Commander Larabee an overview of Alpha Team’s current assignments. “Bravo Team has the bulk of the workload, but …,” it was obvious Chris’s mind was elsewhere. “I sent the gorilla over to the courthouse and the horses will take over surveillance on the Trainer case.”

Chris nodded. “It sounds fine to me.” He glanced at his watch…again. *Almost ten…Ezra should be back by now.*

Vin threw his pen at Chris and shouted, “Heads up Cowboy.”

“Why the hell did you do that?” Chris rubbed his arm where the pen rocket hit him. “I was listening.”

“Sure you were.” Vin set the remaining reports on the edge of Chris’s desk. “Maybe now is not the best time for me to leave.”

“No,” Chris shook his head, “I’m fine, and you will not disappoint Andi and Jason.”

Vin stared thoughtfully at Chris for a few moments. “Okay, but we’re not goin’ far.”  He rose to his feet and tapped the reports with his finger. “Read ‘em while you’re waitin’ for Ezra. You have a copy of our planned schedule; call me if you need help with the gorillas and horses.”

“With the what?  “Chris picked up the stack of papers and grinned when he recognized the mischievous look in Vin’s eyes. “All right, I’ll read…you get the hell out of here. Your family is waiting.”

Vin almost collided with Ezra on his way out the door.

“I thought you were leaving today?”  Ezra stepped inside the office.

“I’m on my way out now. Kel should be here any minute with the kids.  We’ll return Saturday, but if you need to reach us…”

“He won’t,” Chris said. “Tanner… you go. Standish, close the door behind him.”

Ezra shrugged his shoulder. “You heard the man, Vin. Y’all have a safe journey.”

Vin glanced at Chris, and then Ezra, shook his head, and exited without saying another word.  Standish closed the door.

“I was beginning to think you’d be in that damn lawyer’s office all day.” 

“Considering it is only ten o’clock in the morning, the absurdity of your statement does not merit discussion.”

“Ezra,” Chris growled out the southerner’s name similar to a curse. “What did you find out?”

Standish tried to mask his emotions, but when he saw the torment in Chris’s eyes, he failed. “Her lawyer plans to rip you, Larabee7, the Wild Bunch, and MCAT to shreds. He intends to win, by any means, fair or foul, even if it means destroying anyone and everything in his path.”

Chris stared out the window of his office, which gave him a view of the bullpen below. He said nothing, but his body language reminded Ezra of a coiled rattlesnake ready to strike.

“That is the bad news.” Ezra bravely continued. “Fortunately, you have two superior lawyers, who are not willing to concede one square inch of ground to that egotistical, condescending, self-righteous bastard, Linda claims as her attorney.”

Slowly turning his head, Chris rested steely gaze on Ezra. “You have a plan?”

“I do.” Ezra took a deep breath. “However, I require you to give me absolute power to speak for you at the depositions, and…you must remain silent, regardless of what you hear.”

“You’re asking me to keep my mouth shut after you’ve told me that bastard plans to rip my family to shreds? To sit by in silence, while Linda tries to steal my kids?” Chris ran his fingers through his hair and grimaced. “This is my life, my children’s lives and their future.”

“Yes, and I am requesting that you entrust it all…to me.”

Chris studied the man who sat across from him. Cait’s words echoed in his head…. *Trust and faith, Larabee, it’s an unbeatable combination.*… That is what it all boiled down to…trust and faith.

“All right, tell me what you want me to do. But…,” Chris leveled a searing glare at the Southerner, “If you fail, I reserve the right to shoot you.”

Ezra nodded. “Fair enough… and if I fail, I will even provide the gun.”

Southern Breeze Horse Ranch

Matt slammed his glass down on the bar. “Damnit Linda, you have pulled some unbelievable stunts in your life, but this time you have gone too far.”

“Excuse me for thinking my own brother would stand up for me.” Linda threw her bag onto the couch. “I cannot believe you would turn against your own flesh and blood.”

Turning to face his sister, Matt was furious. “Turn against? You have never taken care of yourself. When you were little, it was Dad, who cleaned up your messes. Then when our brothers moved away and dad got sick, that job ended up on my shoulders.”

“You never…”

“The hell I didn’t. It was always something with you Linda. The fixed tickets, the outrageous spending, and running with the wild crowd. Your bad taste in men, who use your money, and then leave when you cut them off. I had hoped when you married Chris all that would end, but you threw him over the same way you did your kids, Kel, and me. You have one talent, and that is to destroy everything good in your life.”

Linda paced in front of the fireplace. “You are so wrong. I have had to fight for what I want and this time I will win. Gregory is the man I want and he loves me. He has promised me that his attorneys will not fail to get custody of Grace and Cody. When we do, he and I will be married.”

“Gregory Renaldo is not any better than Marshall Vanderson.” Matt challenged her. “How long did you last with him when you left Chris? Was it three months or four?”

“Marshall and I….it doesn’t matter.” Linda shook her head. “Gregory is rich, travels in the right circles, and he wants us to be a family.”

“He’s trouble with a capital T. Grace and Cody do not belong anywhere near him…and a mother who only wants to use them to get what she wants. They deserve better and I plan to testify to that.”

Linda laughed. “You do that Matt, but I know you won’t lie under oath…anymore than Kel or any or the others will. Chris was on drugs at least twice…you saw that, and heard his doctor. The ranch has been under attack several times, Chris was arrested for suspicion of murder last year…”

“You know he was set up for that charge.”

Ignoring the interruption, Linda continued. “I know the children on Larabee 7 were threatened because of a damn case MCAT worked on. It’s why they had escorts to school and finally were pulled out and kept prisoners on the ranch. Kel and her baby…kidnapped…she could not lie about what happened. It was all over the news about her presumed death and Trey’s. Casey attacked her husband while her children slept just down the hall….  Those are just a few things our lawyers can bring up and none of it is good for proving my children are safe on that place.”

“We’ll see.” Matt bit his lower lip to control his anger. “I won’t lie, Linda, but I will make certain the judge understand you are an unfit mother for those babies…one way or another.”

Linda shrugged her shoulders. “I should have known you’d side with Chris, but I don’t care. I will get my right restored and be granted custody; marry Gregory, and then have the life I want in spite of you deserting me.” She grabbed her bag off the couch. “As of this moment…I disown you and once I gain custody of my children, you will never see Grace or Cody again.”  She stormed out the door without waiting for a reply.

Matt knew Linda did not care about the kids; she only wanted to further her own selfish cause.  He walked over to his desk, opened a drawer, and withdrew a cassette he had held on to for insurance. It was a recorded conversation he had with Linda before she left the last time…and was proof she did not want to be tied down to any children, especially her own.  Between her damning words and his investigative report on her fiancée, he was certain the children’s chances for remaining with their father were good.  He loved his sister no matter how objectionable her actions were, but his niece and nephew deserved more than she could ever offer them.

Picking up the phone receiver, he made a call he had hoped to avoid and waited for an answer. “Ezra …this is Matt Dubois…I have some things I think you might need.”

Wells’ Ranch ~ Noon

Nettie poured JD another glass of tea and sat down across from him. “Hon, I see how difficult it is for you to go to the hospital each day to see Casey. Couldn’t you …”

JD reached out and covered her hand with his. “Nettie, I appreciate you worrying over me and for going with me this morning, but …” He took a deep breath. “I need to do this for Casey, for me, and …for our kids. Until I hear different, I have to assume she is coming home soon. Maybe the questions you were able to answer for her doctor about her family medical history will help.”

Sighing, she squeezed his hand. “I hope so, but…I see the stress you are under and the girls don’t really understand about their mama. “ Nettie hesitated for a moment. “I would never expect you to give up on Casey, but you have three children who need their Daddy’s full attention…now more that ever. How long can you and the kids go on this way?”

JD nodded. “I’ve been giving that some serious thought. After Casey’s next evaluation, I know I need to make some decisions about what is best for our kids and their future.  Lilah and Daisy miss their routine, they miss the overnights with the other children, and they even miss our trips to McDonalds….I promise I will do what is right for them and JJ…I just need a little more time.”

Nettie jumped in with a proposal. “I understand you are not ready to rejoin family activities yet and I won’t push, but…Chris mentioned a get-together at his house Saturday, mainly for all the Larabee 7 kids. I can take the girls and keep an eye on JJ…if it’s all right with you.”

It seemed strange for him to be the ‘deciding parent’ since Casey usually organized these things for them. He did not think about how she managed, she just did what mothers do. Casey was not here though and if he had to be Mother and Father, he reckoned he needed to learn how to be a mom, too. “Thanks Nettie, I know they would enjoy it.” JD dropped his head, the fear and emotion of all of it flashed across his face. He felt as if he was failing before he even started. “Next time…I’ll try to be more involved.”

“Son, look at me.” She waited until he raised his head. “There will be a next time. This might be new territory for you now, but the young man I know is up for the challenge.”

JD had already accepted that he could not avoid reality in the hope that time would stand still for a while. He had taken for granted so many things that now called for his attention, it was a bit over whelming and he realized that he was heading into unknown territory. “I’m not sure how just yet, but you have my word, I will figure it all out.”

Nettie swallowed the lump in her throat. Life had hurled a large boulder in front of this boy on his path to the future… but she had faith he would indeed find a way to get past it.

Reins of Change

Chris parked in his usual spot by the childcare center and opened his truck door. He smiled when he saw Jesse coming across the yard to meet him. The angry young juvenile who came to Reins a year ago was gone, replaced by a well-mannered teenager who felt at home for the first time in his life. Chris credited Caitlyn for Jesse’s transformation.

“Hey Chris,” Jesse fell into step beside Larabee as he walked toward the day care. “What time do you need me to come over Saturday?”

“You can come about ten and help Josiah set up the barbeque. He’ll get things started, but the rest of the Wild Bunch won’t all be there before three. Cait and I have a few errands to run and should be back around two or so.”

“I’ll be there.”

Chris stopped and turned to face Jesse. “You sure you’re ready to help me and Cait take on a houseful of kids for the night?”

“Yes sir.” Jesse grinned. “I figure I’ve had enough practice with little ones around here over the past year to handle it.”

“I imagine you have.” Chris threw his arm across the young boy’s shoulders. “It’s been a while since I tackled a slumber party. I’m glad I can count on you to help me out.”

Cait met them at the door. “Jesse, will you help Grace put up her paints while I get Cody?”

“Yes ma’am, I will.” He hurried off to assist Grace.

Chris smiled and slipped his arm around Cait’s waist as they headed for the ‘toddler room’. “I think he is actually looking forward to Saturday.”

“I know he is, but what about you? Are you sure you want to do this?”

“It’s time for us to control our lives instead of allowing events to dictate what we do. Besides,” he grinned, “If Vin and Kelli can handle ten kids for an overnight… you and I should be able to manage seven.”

Now it was Cait’s turn to grin. It pleased her to see Chris looking forward to the upcoming event, in spite of the battle Linda had laid out for him. Hell, most everything about Chris Larabee pleased her these days. “I think…we can handle just about anything.”

At that moment, Cody spotted his Dad and ran to him. Chris picked him up for a hug and met Caitlyn’s eyes over his son’s little blond head. He knew that his life was no closer to being settled than it was a month ago, but he accepted that with Cait by his side, it did not have to be. Vin had been right, she was a good woman to ride the river with. She had become his anchor during rough seas and his sail when the waters were calm. Together they could handle just about anything and he did not intend to let her slip away.

Chapter 21

During the dark cycles fate throws our way, making time to celebrate the gift of love and living, is essential.

Larabee 7 ~ Saturday, July 19 ~ten o’clock

“Thanks,” Josiah said as he took the offered cup of coffee from Chris. “Did JD let you know if he was coming today?”

Chris sat down at the kitchen table, across from Josiah. “I talked to him, briefly. He said Nettie was coming with the kids for the afternoon, while he went to the hospital to see Casey’s doctor.” He shook his head and sighed. “JD wants them home with him after the barbeque though, he’s just not ready to have them gone overnight yet.”

“He will be soon, and before you know it, JD will be back in the middle of things again.” 

Chris set his coffee cup on the table, after taking a sip, and said, “He did sound better when we talked; maybe he’s finding his way home.”

Buck overheard the last remark as he entered through the back door. “JD knows where home is, he just needs time to deal with his feelings. He’ll come back to us.”

Josiah nodded. “That he will, I have no doubt.”

“How’s Inez doing?” Chris directed the conversation toward a different direction, deciding it was best to wait until JD was ready to discuss his situation openly.

Buck poured himself a cup of java and joined them. “She is past ready for Isabella to arrive. We’ve only got two weeks to go, but time is passing too damn slow for my wife.”

“Good thing we planned a night for the kids then, it will give you a chance to give her some TLC.” Chris grinned, thinking about the next twenty-four hours.

“I still don’t know how you planned all this with everything else going on. “Buck shook his head.” I appreciate the opportunity, but it should be our turn to give a free night to one of our brothers. Vin and Kelli kept our kids last time, while Nathan and Rain took the rest.  It don’t seem fair.”

Josiah stood and took his empty cup to the sink. “Mallory and I are having Ronesha and Terrell stay at our house for the night. Joanne and Adam are looking forward to it.”

“Ezra and Barbara love having the girls. Sarah, Maria, and Tannis will be spoiled rotten when you get them home tomorrow.” Chris drained his cup and pushed back from the table. “JD wants his brood home with him. Cait and I will handle the rest of the little munchkins.”

“You are a brave man Chris. Did you tell Vin what you planned?” Buck stood and joined them.

“Not yet. Max and Walter have my kids this morning, and will bring them over about three o’clock. As soon as Cait and Jesse get here, we’re off to run a few errands before we tell him and Kelli about our little surprise.”

Josiah opened the door. “Buck and I will get things started here. Nathan and Ezra should be over before noon.”

“Don’t forget Jesse will be here to help, too.” Chris walked out on the patio, followed by Buck and Josiah. “In fact, here they come now.”  He met Cait at the steps, leaned in and kissed her.

Jesse grinned and continued on to see Josiah. “Chris said I could help you set-up. Where do you want me to start?”

Josiah placed his hand on the teen’s shoulder. “I have just the job for you. Follow me.”

“We got it covered here, Chris, you and Cait go run your errands,” Buck said as he headed over to the grill.”

Chris smiled at Caitlyn. “Guess it’s just you and me. You ready for this?”

“Lead on Larabee.”

Tanner Cabin ~one o’clock

Sitting near the lake with his back against a tree, Vin picked up his notebook and began writing:  

Only four short years ago, I was single, footloose and happy with my life, or so I thought. Fate stepped in and proved me wrong. I found a missing piece of my destiny and since then I discovered the meaning of real happiness. Kel and I would have been content with just us, if that was God’s plan, but thankfully, he decided to bless us with Jason and Andi. Just when we thought life could not be better, he gifted us with Trey and Bren.

I watched my brothers marry and start their families, and I know how Chris felt about Sarah and Adam, but I figured that kind of love was not for me. I sit here now and wonder how I ever believed I was content thinking I did not need a family of my own or a woman, who is not just my wife, but my friend and lover. In spite of all the challenges Kel and I have faced, I would not have missed one second of our life together for anything.

This is our last day here and as far as I’m concerned, the past three days have passed too damn fast . The kids had a ball at the Cowboy museum, and Andi loved watching the woman who demonstrated sand painting. Then we explored some of the old Indian trails around Denver, but the best part was once we made it here to the cabin. Sharing our special place with our children has affected us more than we expected. For a few days, we have managed to shut out the rest of the world, and enjoy our slice of private paradise as a family.

Our twins are close by, asleep in the play yard I set up to keep them corralled. Jason and Andi are down by the water with Kel. I know she loves it here and I’ll have hell trying to drag her away, but damn, she’s happy again. After the difficult time she had after we lost the baby last year, I feared we might never find our way back to us. Thank God, we did. Our time alone has been short, but we are closer now than we have ever been.

His muse took over and Vin continued to write about his redhead. When he looked up, he grinned as the subject of his thoughts headed his way.

Kelli stopped by the play yard and adjusted the sunshade to protect her sleeping babies from the sun’s rays. She walked over and sat next to Vin, leaning into his side. “Do we have to go home today?”

Vin sighed. He had expected this, and truthfully, he hated to think about leaving, too. “Yeah, Baby, we do. We should be close to home for Chris, in case Linda pulls any more of her crazy stunts. Plus, until JD lets us back into his life, I want to be around…he might call.”

“Damn Tanner, you just gave me the only two reasons, I can’t argue about.”

“That was my plan,” he winked and drew her to him for a kiss, “but I promise we’ll come back soon.”

Kelli snuggled against him. “I’m gonna hold you to that promise.” She had noticed the notebook and was curious about what he had written, but she knew Vin would share when he was ready. Keeping an eye on Jason and Andi, they allowed themselves to relax and embrace the moments of just being.

Their peaceful interlude was broken, when Andi yelled, “Uncle Chris is here!” She and Jason ran toward the cabin to meet him.

Vin’s first thought was that something was wrong at home.*Chris?*

*Everything’s fine, give me a minute and I’ll explain.*

“Go, I’ll stay with the babies.” Kelli had seen the fear leave Vin’s face, and knew Chris had sent him a message. Still, she was sure he needed to see for himself.

By the time Vin reached the cabin, Andi was already talking a mile a minute to Chris and Caitlyn.

“We went to the ‘useum and a lady sand painted and we went where the Indians used to go and we came here and we went swimmin’ and camped and roasted marsh’ellows, rode in a canoe, and Jason helped Daddy make a tepee and….”

“Andi let me tell them.” Jason nudged his sister, clearly annoyed that she was doing all the talking.

Vin scooped his daughter up into his arms and gave Jason ‘the look’. “I’m sure we’ll have time for both of you to tell Uncle Chris and Cait about our trip.”

Jason shuffled his feet and sighed. “Sorry, Andi.”

Still holding on to Andi, Vin slipped his other arm across Jason’s shoulders. He nodded to Cait and then turned his attention to Chris. “Y’all are the last people I expected to see here this weekend.”

Chris grinned. “Yeah? Who else would trek all the way up here just to deliver a present to his oldest daughter?”

Andi squirmed. “You have a present for mama? What is it? Can we see it?”

“Right after you and Jason give us the grand tour. “He reached out to take Andi from Vin. “How about you two show us around and then we’ll visit with your mom and dad?”

Vin shook his head and smiled. “Okay, after they wear y’all out, Kel and I will be down by the lake with the twins.” He watched as Jason took Caitlyn’s hand and led her to where their tepee was located. Chris walked beside them, while he listened to Andi’s endless chatter, apparently enjoying every word of it.

~~~7~~~

Twenty minutes later, the kids were winding down, and finally Chris and Caitlyn had a chance to talk to the Tanners. They sat on the ground near the twin’s play yard, while Jason and Andi stayed close to their parents.

Chris spoke directly to Vin, “I am impressed. When you said you planned to set up a tepee, I figured you meant a small one, but…how did you get the materials up here for one that size without anyone knowing?”

“Last weekend, I picked up what we would need, brought it up here and did the basic groundwork. I knew Jason and Andi had all kinds of Indian related things on their ‘to do’ list, so this was our surprise for ‘em. It might not be authentic old Indian style, but it’ll do for us. The canvas fabric is guaranteed for five years, the artwork is hand painted, it sleeps six, we can have an inside campfire, and the kids love it.”

“You did all the work yourself?” Cait asked.

“Andi helped me with the twins, while our ‘men folk’ put it together,” Kelli answered. “Vin and Jason had it up within a few hours and we all slept in it Thursday night and last night,”

Vin could not help but notice the big smiles Jason and Andi sported. “Enough about tepees, y’all gonna tell us why you’re here?”

“We came to kidnap your children, steal your Navigator, and deliver Kel’s late birthday present.” Chris laughed at the expression on Vin’s face and figured he should explain. ”Josiah  and Mallory are keeping the Jackson kids tonight, while Ezra and Barbara take the Wilmington girls .Cait and I are having a slumber party at the ranch for your kids, mine, and  Caleb. We’ll take your SUV since it has room for all the car seats, leave my truck for you and Kel, and the two of you are getting an overnight of your own.”

“You and Cait and…,” Kelli counted mentally, “seven children…all night?”

Caitlyn took pity on the way Chris sprung the news. “Jesse will help us and I’m certain we can manage.”

Chris looked at Kelli. “We already talked it over with Jason and Andi; they agree it’s the best belated birthday present we could give you. You both need some special time here, and the kids will have fun with us.”

“All you need to do is gather up the children’s things, say your goodbye’s and then take the next twenty four hours for yourselves.” Cait watched the byplay of mixed emotions cross Kelli’s face as she looked at each of her children and then to her father.

Chris met her gaze. “I refuse to allow Linda to dictate how I live.” He slipped his arm around Caitlyn’s waist. “We want to do this.”

After glancing at Vin to gauge his reaction, Kelli nodded and instructed the children, “Well don’t just sit there kids…y’all are bein’ kidnapped, so hustle. Jason, will you help Andi gather her stuff, while I get the boys ready to go?”

Jason jumped up. “Yes ma’am.” He took Andi’s hand and they ran to the cabin to pack.

*Thanks Cowboy.*

*You two enjoy. You deserve some time together.*

Vin reached over and squeezed the back of Kelli’s neck. “Reckon we better hustle, too.”

The adults stood, and Kelli went over to pick up Trey, while Caitlyn did the same with Bren. Chris walked with Vin toward the trucks, while the women headed to the cabin with the babies.

“Cait did some shopping after I told her what I wanted.” Chris opened the back door of the Ram and began handing bags to Vin. “Your dinner is here, plus a few extra things I thought would make your evening more enjoyable.”

“We can stash it in the tepee, until I figure out what we’re goin’ to do with our free time.”

Chris nodded; retrieved another bag, along with two packages from the cab, and then began walking beside Vin. “The packages are gifts for you and Kel. She is going to think I’ve lost my mind, and she could be right.”  They reached the tepee and set the bags on the ground. “I should be worried about JD, furious with Linda about the kids and… I am concerned, but today I choose to have faith everything will work out for us all. I have a need to celebrate life.”

“Reckon you and the river ride are workin out.” Vin set the packages aside to take to the cabin. “You and Cait make a good team.”

“Best ride I’ve been on in a long time.” Chris smiled. “I think it may take a lifetime to finish, too.”

It pleased Vin to see Chris content again. Cait was good for him and it showed in his attitude. “Guess we should check on our ladies, see if they need any help.”

“Just make sure Kel doesn’t open her gift until after we leave.”

Together they went back to the cabin and helped Jason load his and Andi’s stuff. Within twenty minutes, all four Tanner children and their gear were in the Navigator with Cait, waiting for Chris to slide into the driver’s side.

Kelli made one last check on the twin’s car seats.

Chris opened the door and turned before he climbed inside.” I might be a few days late, but Happy Birthday, Missy.” He leaned over and kissed Kelli on the cheek.

Vin grinned as he placed his hands on Kelli’s waist and pulled her away from their truck. “Y’all have fun.”

The Tanners watched as Chris drove away. They were not sure how or why this change of plans happened, but were ready to take advantage of their gift. Vin grabbed the two packages from where he left them on the hood of Chris’s truck, and then he and Kelli headed inside. They would straighten up the cabin and then plan the rest of their day.

Larabee 7

The barbeque was a success. Once the cleanup was finished, Ezra and Barbara departed with the Wilmington girls. Josiah and Mallory took the Jackson children home with them, and Buck went home to spend time with Inez alone. Nathan and Rain went into Denver to catch a movie for their free evening, and Nettie was safely home with JD and the Dunne children. Chris gave Dottie the night off and she was spending her free time in town with an old friend.

Max stood at the door and surveyed the work she, Dottie, and Walter had accomplished earlier. Two port cribs were set-up for the twins, pallets were scattered around the den for the older kids to sleep on, and there were plenty of premade snacks in the kitchen. “Chris, are you sure you don’t want us to stay and help?”

“We have Jesse to help. Cait and I will manage fine, Max. You and Walter enjoy your evening.”

Max cast a doubtful eye toward the seven children now engaged in various activities around the room. “If you say so, but call if you need me.” She picked up her bag and let herself out to join her husband at home.

Cait looked up from where she was playing with Cody, Trey, and Bren as Chris made his way over to join her. “Another doubter to add to the list?”

“Yep, “Chris said as he sat down with them on the floor. “Jason and Caleb are doing great with Jesse. Andi and Grace are having a Disney marathon and have not moved from in front of the television in an hour. How are you doing?”

“We’re doing fine.” Cait smiled. “I have noticed one thing a bit…unusual though.”

Chris handed Trey the toy he had dropped and turned his attention to Cait. He took a deep breath, taking in her wonderful scent.  Brushing back a loose strand of hair from her face, he asked, “What’s unusual?”

“I am aware that twins have a unique way of communicating with one another, but…Cody appears to understand their codes, too. How could a child who is not a sibling do that?”

Not surprised by her observation, Chris smiled. He and Vin discovered a long time ago that their sons had inherited the unique bond they shared and could communicate without using words. There was no explanation about how they did it, or why it seemed to be evident only with the male children. It just was. Shrugging his shoulders, he said. “Guess it’s just one of those things we might not ever have an answer for. You know any reason I should be concerned?”

“No, I just find it interesting. “ She glanced his way. “I think it’s cute.”

“I think…,” he leaned in to steal a quick kiss, “you’re cute. In fact, once all this is over, I want you and me to take some special time….”

“Uncle Chrissss!” Andi yelled when the DVD player stopped.

Chris sighed. “Duty calls, but I expect we’ll be revisiting this subject.”

Caitlyn smiled. “I’m counting on it, Larabee.”

~~~7~~~

Vin and Kelli spent the afternoon, canoeing, exploring various parts of the lake, and enjoying the quiet time they had together. Now that evening was approaching, they found themselves back at the cabin, with two unopened packages waiting for them.

“You first, Tanner, I don’t know what came over dad, but I think I’d like to have an idea of what to expect.”

Vin leaned back on the couch and smiled. “Reckon I’ll let you have the fun, while I watch.” He handed her the gifts to open.

“Okay…but be prepared for anythin’. Dad was actin’ very strange.” Both packages were marked with the name of the lingerie shop she had discovered a few months ago. Kelli felt a slight blush on her cheeks when she remembered the sheer green nightgown with the strategically placed roses she had surprised Vin with. Since then they had found several items at the shop, which had given them many hours of pleasure. She remembered telling Caitlyn about it, and evidently, she liked to shop there, too. Her hand wavered for a moment over the one with her name before taking the lid off Vin's box.

"Oh my," Kelli whispered as she lifted the contents from inside. She caressed the soft leather of a beautiful loincloth and knew the doeskin coloring would compliment the tan of Vin's body nicely. Strips of leather connected the front flap to the back. The back was also a ragged triangle shape. She knew from the small size of the flap, a considerable amount of those slight curves that were Vin's delightful cheeks would also show, teasing her with each step he took.

“Damn,” Vin said softly as he leaned forward. “I think that one is for you, Baby.” He grinned and nudged the other package forward. “Open this one and see what I get.”

Sighing Kelli put his loincloth back in the box and opened the other one.  Delightful laughter filled the room as she lifted out her own leather loincloth; this one had the addition of coverings for her breasts.  Made from the same soft tan leather as Vin's, she knew it would feel good against her bare skin.

“I love ‘em, but I don’t think I’ll be able to look at Dad or Cait without blushin’, for a long time.’” She turned to face Vin and saw the amusement in his eyes. “You think…”

Vin drew her closer. “I think…Chris is comfortable with y’alls relationship, and is happy with Caitlyn. Neither of them are naive about what we’ll be doin’….the next time they’re alone I’d bet they’ll be playin’ their own games.” He dipped his head and captured Kelli’s mouth for a slow lingering kiss. “Missus Tanner, would you spend the evenin’ with me?”

Kelli gazed into his eyes and her heart melted. Lord knew she loved her scruffy, longhaired, Texan more than life. “It would be my pleasure, Mister Tanner.”

“It a date then. I have a few things to tend to first.” Vin reluctantly disentangled himself from his wife and stood. “You change and I’ll be back to pick you up in …say forty-five minutes?”

She watched as he picked up the box with his loincloth inside and felt a thrill of anticipation race through her body. “I’ll be ready.”

~~~7~~~

Kelli took one last look in the mirror. It was not hard for her to imagine the desire in Vin's eyes when he saw her.  Her outfit may cover everything vital, but the amount of bare skin showing would be significant.  Small straps of leather draped over her shoulders, attached to the thin back and rough edged triangles that cupped her breasts.  Kelli knew Vin would be delighted by the amount of gentle swells the leather didn't cover. One side had a strip of leather, which dropped down and attached to the cloth wrapped around her hips. It would ride low, with a generous portion of skin showing between the two leather triangles and there was nothing underneath. She felt herself getting wet at the thought of the look on Vin's face when he discovered that fact.

Her mind filled with the mental picture of Vin wearing the briefest loincloth she had ever seen. The leather would ride low on his hips leaving his upper body and those long lean legs bare to her gaze.  There was a soft pouch to conceal his treasure from her, which was good because the triangle of leather that covered his front was so short she knew he would hang down below it without the pouch.  

A knock on the bedroom door, brought her back from her fantasy.  For the next few hours, the rest of the world would disappear, leaving only the two of them alone in their own private paradise. She walked over and opened the door.

For a few moments, neither of them spoke. Both mesmerized by the sight of the other.

Vin had trouble concentrating. The look of desire in his wife’s eyes held his gaze, her scent intoxicated him, and a rush of heat filled his loins as he took in the sight of sexy bare skin. *Hell, Tanner, get a grip or this night will be over before you ever get started.*

Kelli knew she was in trouble the moment she laid eyes on her husband wearing only a loincloth. Thoughts of love, friendship, trust, and intimacy flew out the window. All she could think about was this sexy specimen of primal male, who stood before her. She wanted to attack him right here and now. *Slow down Kel, or this night will end too damn soon.*

Vin shook his head and moved past her to the bedroom. Grabbing two shirts, he threw one to his wife. “Put this on. I have plans for us and we’ll never get to ‘em otherwise.” He slipped his shirt on and as soon as she was covered, he took her hand to lead her out of the cabin and down to the lake.

~~~7~~~

Somehow, they made it to the tepee and managed to get through the meal Vin had waiting for them. They fed one another cheese, crackers, and assorted fruits, while drinking several glasses of wine. Firelight cast a golden glow around the enclosed area, and the scent of rose oil filled the air. A romantic atmosphere and the knowledge of what each was wearing beneath their shirts kept the sexual tension between them running in high gear.

Vin poured another glass of wine. Lowering himself to the pile of soft comforters on the ground, he sat with Kelli facing him, her legs draped across his thighs. “Before we get too far gone, I wanted to give you a gift from me.”

Kelli took a sip from his glass and smiled. “Then I reckon I should try to behave.”  Her eyes danced with invitation and amusement.

“You asked me earlier what I was writin’…mainly it was about our family and how much y’all mean to me. About the feelin’s, I have about sharin’ our special place, with the kids…. and how much I love our life. Watchin’ you with our children, my thoughts turned to you though, and I wrote you a poem.” He shifted her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Kelli relaxed in his arms and savored the moment as he gazed into her eyes and began to recite:

I am at one with nature when I'm with you,
To feel your satin skin against my own,
And smell your hair and run my fingers through it,
I seek a place where we can be alone.

To lay you down and drape myself around you,
While taking in your beauty as you smile,
To feel your body moving close against me,
And hold that precious moment for a while.

The taste of tender lips fire sparks inside me,
While gazing into smoldering eyes of blue,
You make me ache and fill my heart with passion,
And want to move and be as one with you.

The taste of you sends all my senses reeling,
Your whispered sighs are music made from love,
Your touch sends fiery needles through my body,
Perfection sent to me from Heaven above.

We move as one and fire builds within me,
Our bodies arch, touch, shudder, tense, and glide,
As lights explode and we are one and sated,
I have no words, my love I cannot hide.

That moment as we lie as one together,
Our heaving bodies glistening like the dew,
My words return and let me softly whisper,
My sweet woman, I am so in love with you.

With one hand he reached up to gently wipe away the tears on her cheeks and then tenderly stroked his fingers through her hair. Drawing her to him, he brushed his lips across her neck while his other hand unbuttoned her shirt, slipping if off her body to expose the swell of her breasts. Looking into her eyes, a rough edge was clear in his voice as he asked, “Glad we waited?”

Kelli’s voice was full of emotion and husky, “Vin, it was beautiful…a gift I will treasure forever…and yes, I’m glad, but…” she reached up and ripped his shirt open to reveal his muscular chest, “…no more waitin’. You made love to me with your words… now…I want the rest of you.”

A slow smile crossed his handsome face. “What’s mine is yours, Baby.”  Vin placed his hands on her hips and pulled her onto his lap.

Sighing as his thumbs stroked her hipbones; Kelli gripped his shoulders, and wrapped her legs around him to press against his steel hard shaft, now freed from the pouch of his loincloth. A wave of pure carnal lust coursed through her blood as he lifted her to allow him access to her moist center, beginning a rocking motion, which guaranteed them a trip to paradise and beyond.

Kelli gasped as Vin suddenly clutched her ass and pushed hard, allowing her to take him deep and solid against her raised clitoris. The action caused her to come and her body shuddered with the delicious feeling overwhelming her senses while her man nipped at her neck, smiling as her body quivered in his grasp.

Before she could recover, Vin skillfully maneuvered to lay her down on the blanket-covered ground, his movements changing to a more thrusting motion. He was rock hard, having special plans for his lady as his hips ground in a circular motion, his own rising passion guiding his teeth to pull at the cloth covering his wife's breasts, chewing teasingly on the hardened nubs as Kelli writhed beneath him.

Their lovemaking was always something special but this night, he was taking Kelli to new heights as she once again reached a climax, screaming out her release as it positively melted away coherent thoughts. Emotion welled inside her as Vin possessed her mouth with a deep and passionate kiss, his thrusting never ceasing while she marveled at his staying power. Even so, she knew...his breathing was telling her he was more than ready for his blessed release and she prepared to end his torture.

Vin was aching, his manhood swollen to bursting as he filled his love and begged for mercy.

Placing her hands on his shoulders, Kelli eased Vin onto his back, mindful of his sensitivity and determined she would hold him just a little while longer. She desperately wanted to watch his handsome face as he reached his own piece of heaven.

She leaned over to kiss him, moving down to nip at the tiny raised buds on his chest while resuming their original rocking movement. Close now, he cried out and tears clouded her vision as she watched the love of her life draw to completion, his hands reaching out as their fingers entwined.

With a roar, Vin's back arched and his ass left the ground, the massive thrust causing Kelli to cry out as another orgasm joined the pair in a place known only to them, their grinding taking them beyond anywhere they had ever been before. With an aching cry, Kelli's spent body shuddered and fell across her husband's chest as their ride continued to its conclusion.

Vin's mind was lost to swirls of lights and explosions of stars as his euphoria moved from the roots of his hair to the fluid spouting from him to travel deep into his shuddering lady's body. The next thing he knew, he was on his side and Kelli's face was gazing up into his. Both touched the other's face to brush away the tears that rolled gently from love filled eyes, their hands moving to keep the connection as lips moved together in a deep and sensual kiss that seemed to last an eternity.

Breathless, they parted but still their tongues refused to give up the dance as tips touched and licked at swollen lips to spark the fire that smoldered within them.

The beauty of their mating was beyond description, but it was as if their merged souls had lifted them to another plateau and both were soon allowing their bodies to once more guide them into another dimension, slowly...gracefully...lovingly, making their marks on exposed flesh as their union remained intact, moving as one to another blessed release.

They could never explain the magic of this night...nor, would they ever forget their gift.

Chapter 22

I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again

*James Taylor

Monday July 28 

One hundred and thirty miles round trip, two hours of drive time, eight traffic lights, and six stop signs…JD knew this route like the back of his hand. He had been making it almost every day for the past six weeks… since Casey’s admittance to Century Hospital. It was sixty feet to the entrance from the parking area. Once inside, there were three nurses’ stations to check in at before reaching the psychiatric ward, and then a twenty to thirty minute wait to see her doctor. Maybe today would be the day he could finally talk to Casey. 

Doctor Woodley entered his office at eight, and was not surprised to see JD waiting on him. “Morning, JD.”

The young man looked at the physician hopefully. “Morning Doctor, is she better today?”

The doctor sighed. “No.”

JD's shoulders dropped. “You said yesterday she was responding to the Risperidone.” He pulled out a small notebook from his pocket and read his notations. “I’ve been doing research on Schizoaffective Disorder.  Every thing I found said there is no cure and the cause is debatable, but with proper treatment it can be controlled.”

“That’s all true, and after talking with Nettie Wells and reviewing the information she provided, I think heredity might play a big part in why Casey’s illness developed. In young women, the symptoms manifest after the age of twenty into the early thirties. According to her aunt, Casey’s mother exhibited early signs of the disorder, but she died before she was thirty, and we will never know if they would have progressed.”

JD took a moment to let the implication of the doctor’s words sink in. “Regardless of why or how Casey became ill, you told me the medications were to stabilize her mood and treat the psychotic symptoms, and that psychotherapy could improve her coping skills. She acts as if she doesn’t even know me when I’m here.” 

“The meds are doing their job, JD, and we can stabilize her symptoms, but as we have discussed before, those procedures are only part of what is necessary. Casey needs to understand her illness, acknowledge what happened, and accept that with proper medication, it does not have to dictate how she lives. Right now, she has no desire to do so. Your visits and her therapy sessions are not productive.”

JD snapped his notebook shut. “If the medicines are working, how can she not be making progress?”

Doctor Woodley explained. “You already know from your attempts to talk with her that Casey is not responsive to your words. My goal is to help her reach a point where she is well enough to treat as an outpatient. With family support and therapy, a large number of our patients manage to reenter their lives and learn to balance their illness with a fulfilling life. Unfortunately, we are a long way from getting there with Casey. She has not even begun to deal with the trauma associated with her breakdown.  In fact, she is regressing. I wish I could give you more hope, but until Casey cooperates and is able to take an active part in her recovery, I do not expect any improvement.”

“What happens if she…,” JD swallowed hard. “…if she doesn’t…improve, I mean?”

The doctor recognized the fact that this was as hard on JD as it was for his patient. “I am not going to speculate on any ‘what if’ possibilities this early in her treatment, but I do have some advice.”

“I’m listening.”

“I understand your need to be supportive, but I don’t think you should attempt to talk to her anymore, at least at this point. Her reaction to your last visit was….extreme. She has retreated to a place only she understands and we have not been able to reach her. I also suggest that you stop coming here every day. These daily trips are obviously hard on you and I can update you by phone as often as you want.” He watched JD’s emotional conflict play out with his expressions.

“Maybe if she saw me one more time….”

Doctor Woodley shook his head. “She’s not ready to face the present JD, and trying to push her now could hurt more than help her.”

JD pushed his fingers through his hair in frustration. “When will she be ready…a week…another month…what am I supposed to do…how do you know you're right?”

The doctor considered his answer and decided that showing was better than trying to explain more. He stood and walked around his desk. “My analysis is a professional one, but, perhaps if you come with me.”

JD followed Doctor Woodley out of the office, down the hall, where they waited for a door to be unlocked, and then to a small room. The doctor motioned for the seated attendant to leave, and then turned to the younger man.

“I’m sure that after your years in law enforcement you are familiar with an observation room.”

“Of course I am.” JD knew what was coming. He felt as if a swarm of bees had taken up residence in his stomach and his hands began to sweat. “What’s on the other side of the window?”

“Casey’s new room,” the doctor answered, and stepped aside so JD could see. “Her reaction to your last visit left her in this state.”

Taking a deep breath, JD moved closer and it only took a moment for him to locate her. He knew it was his wife, but it took a while for him to accept that the woman, who hunched on the floor, with her head leaning against the wall, was his Casey. There was no light in her eyes, only a vacant stare… her hair was dull and stringy, not shiny and full like before….this woman was only a shell of the vibrant, beautiful woman he knew and loved.

His mouth was dry and pain shot through his gut. For the first time since Ice’s evil turmoil started, he wondered...if he would ever see his Casey again. One thing he did know, it was breaking his heart to see her like this.

The woman he saw now was a long way from the woman he remembered…Images of the two of them filled his head…momentarily transporting him to a happier place…

* The day he proposed to her. …. "So…is that a yes?"….. Casey had leaned in and kissed him tenderly, tears flowing freely  "Whether we have two weeks, two months, two years or two lifetimes…I would love to spend them as your wife”

Dancing their first dance together as a married couple to a rendition of Captain and Tennille's 'Love Will Keep Us Together’…. When they made love there was no mistaking the joy in Casey’s voice as she said his name and the way her doe eyes lit up as they focused on his face. Both always caused his heart to do a little flip in response…

Casey propped up in the bed, tired but smiling while he sat next to her, his arm draped across her shoulders as he proudly looked down at the two tiny pink bundles in her arms.

Last year when she told him, “We’re pregnant again…It’s a Dunne deal…..”*

Doctor Woodley’s voice drew his attention. “I’m sorry to put you through this, but I wanted you to understand. I need time to work with Casey and I promise I will do everything possible to achieve a breakthrough that will pave the way for her release. In the meantime, you need to go on with your life. I don’t expect you to give up on your wife, but we could be talking in terms of months, possibly years, before you see the woman you remember. “

JD did not answer; his gaze frozen on the woman behind the glass, his palm rested against it as if, in some miraculous way, he could reach out to her, and will her to feel his presence…his undying support…his love.

The doctor put his arm across JD’s shoulders and urged him away from the window. “Go home, hug your children, and take care of them, and yourself. Let me do what I can for your wife.”

JD's throat was so dry he could not speak, so he nodded instead. The doctor walked with him to the front entrance and after giving JD his cell phone number, the two men parted.

Before he realized it, JD was at his truck. Climbing in, he sat rigidly, holding the wheel, his knuckles white, his throat working overtime...and then, it hit. All he had worked for since the stabbing…getting Casey into care instead of prison, visiting her every day in the hope of some good news…isolating himself from his family to follow his own path, had just been a preparation for the bigger picture. Casey was not coming home anytime soon, he understood that now. He was not even sure if his Casey would ever come back to him and he had a long wait ahead to find out. His poor babies…how was he ever going to explain to his children why their mother would not be with them? Emotion overtook him and he could not seem to stop the feeling of loss, which engulfed his heart. All that he had been through, his babies, the guys, Nettie, the family, Casey...Ice, each one of them filled his mind as his demons rose to the surface and emptied his soul.

He suddenly felt tired and alone. He had tried to be strong...hell, he was strong...but he could not go on like this any more. He was missing the very thing he needed most. Fumbling for his cell phone, he hit speed dial.

~~~7~~~

Buck's stomach churned as he pulled into the parking lot of the building where he and JD had shared an apartment, years ago. He was not surprised that JD wanted to meet him here, but he was curious as to why. Glancing around, he spotted the parked Explorer, and after locking his truck, he approached it. Seeing JD hunched over, Buck walked around to the driver's door and opened it.

"Aww kid..."

That split second erased all the hurt between them as Buck did what came naturally, and pulled the younger man toward him. JD clung to him and despite JD's exhausted appearance, for the first time in a long time; Buck believed things would be okay. JD had grown...he was not a kid anymore, but he was their kid and whatever it took, they would work through it to find a balance.

JD finally pulled back and wiped his face with the sleeves of his jacket. Buck leaned in and popped the glove box, handing him the box of tissues within, while trying to forget why they were there. Casey had always insisted they carry some. The truck was new, but JD had clearly kept up the tradition.

"Buck..."

"Move over kid...let me get in."

JD slid across the seat and Buck climbed inside, shutting the door, to keep the world and its troubles at bay...at least for now.

"Buck...I'm sorry..."

"Okay, let's stop right there. When we talked before...after the bomb incident, we agreed on two things, that we'd moved on, but we still needed each other in our lives...just like it used to be…except, I guess, it's not."

JD looked alarmed, Buck held up his hand.

"What I mean is that I forget sometimes how old you are. I don't feel any different about you now, than I did when you were a green recruit, and...I guess I never will...but I also understand...only you can make the tough decisions, only you can plot the trail your life will take. I just hope sometimes, you'll ask me to get out the map and take a look with you."

JD shuddered from spent emotion, finally looking at the man who had taken him under his wing so long ago. "I never meant to cut you out, Buck, I just needed some space and time, you know? I needed to get this right, but I think, in some instances, I could have done it a little differently."

Buck smiled, his gentle eyes firmly fixed on JD as he continued.

"When Ice said why she'd picked on me...because she saw me as the weakest...it was like a knife in my heart. I didn't know what to do next. I wondered if you all thought of me the same way. I spent months trying to prove her wrong, working crazy hours, spending every spare minute I had on her damned code. Then one day it hit me...I'm just...me, I can't be anything more than who I am. After all that's happened I've come to realize that I am the only one who can put my life in order..."

Buck opened his mouth to comment.

"...but it doesn't mean I can't stop and ask for help along the way. I understand now, Buck, so...can I still turn to you...sometimes?"

Buck looked back at the man who had gone from a stranger to a brother in a matter of days when they first met. "Why didn't you tell me about how you felt about Ice? I can't believe you've held onto those doubts all this time."

JD dropped his head. “Probably for the same reason you never told me about your nightmares involving Danny.”

Those words hit home. Blinking back tears, Buck placed a hand on JD's neck and squeezed gently. "You're right. I should have shared my problem with you…I guess we all make wrong decisions, sometimes…or say the wrong things." He shifted in his seat to get a better view of JD's face. "You getting attacked …and learning Casey was the one who hurt you…I felt angry and helpless. Hell, we all did, but…something deep inside me took control and fuelled my internal anger. For a long time I felt as if Casey had betrayed you…betrayed me, all of us, and I had just stood there and let it happen. I started looking back over the months…convinced I had missed something vital because of my lack of attention to detail. I've known you two since you were kids…looked out for you both…I couldn't connect the two…the young couple I knew and cherished and the woman who put someone I love into a life and death situation. I wanted to scoop you up out of that hospital bed and take you somewhere safe…" he pointed to the building, "…just like I did when we lived here together.”

"You see…when you married Casey, it was as if I had passed the torch, so to speak…she had your back now…not in work, of course, but in most everything else. So when she hurt you…"

JD tried to ignore the lump in his throat and raised his hand to clasp the arm on his shoulder. His voice shook as he spoke, "I understand now how you must have felt.” He shook his head. “Then I cut you and the guys out….”

Buck smiled as he took JD's wrist and brought their hands down, holding onto the young man as he spoke. "As hard as it was …not to be able to comfort you and be there for you…in hindsight you probably made the right decision. It allowed me to get some perspective and… while I didn't think I could be any more proud of you…I am. You've come through it all and even though there's a long road to travel…we're still standing."

JD nodded. "Yeah, but, I always knew you were there, it just took me a while to figure out how to change the course I was on."

Buck looked through the windshield for a moment, sighing softly as he started to feel their old relationship shift into place. "Fate's been kind to us son. God's given us a chance to start again…he kept you alive, and helped us while we waited for you to come back into the fold. I reckon it's time for you and me to start healing…and we can do that, because we have each others' backs." Buck smiled as he turned to look at JD. "You can reach out to me anytime; I'll always be here for you, JD. Just like I know you'll always be here for me. I want this to work kid…just like we talked about before. I'll try and give you the space you need, because I know now I'm not being pushed away…I guess it means some thought on both sides. Will you help me?"

JD smiled a real smile. "Sounds like a plan."

 "But we do this on one condition."

"What?"

"I still get to call you Kid...it's a habit...and one I like...but if you really do hate it..."

Now JD was laughing softly. "No...I like it fine. Hell, you call me kid more than my real name, anyway." He sighed. "So...are we good?"

Still smiling, Buck pulled his little brother in close, relieved when JD happily leaned in. "We're more than good, Kid."

After a minute or so, they separated. Buck again looked out of the windshield and up at the building in front of them. "Happier times, huh?"

"Different times," JD said. "I've always been happy since I met you and the guys, then Casey. I don't know why I came here, I guess for a minute there, I was thinking, how great it would be if we could turn back time," he swallowed, "but we can't, and… with your help...maybe I can start putting mine and the kids' lives in order...without Casey, at least...for now."

Buck finally dropped his hand from JD's neck. "You wanna go talk about it?"

JD rubbed his eyes, nodding.

“I’ll leave my truck here. Why don’t we go for a drink, we can grab a beer and some fries...and make sure this fence we just fixed...stays fixed?"

"Yeah, I'd like that. Do you think...?” JD hesitated. "...Do you think the guys would join us?  I'd kind of like to explain things to them, too."

Buck turned over the engine, smiling. "I reckon that can be arranged."

"Buck...you should know...Casey...may not be home anytime soon."

Buck touched his hand to JD's head. "It sounds like we got a whole lot to catch up on. How about you talk while I drive?"

Standish Tavern

"You gonna eat those?" Being with Buck brought back the feeling of belonging he had missed…and his appetite.

Buck chuckled as he pushed his unfinished chili fries across to JD. A few months ago, something like that would have been normal for them, but he knew JD had not been eating right or taking care of himself lately. He figured this was a good sign.

Familiar voices drew their attention to the door and the group of men walking toward them. Buck had called the guys earlier and while JD was happy to see them, he was nervous about facing his brothers after the way he had drawn away from them over the past few weeks.

Five men surrounded their table. Chris squeezed JD’s shoulder and sat next to Buck. Vin playfully slapped JD on the back as he moved to grab the empty chair next to him. Josiah, Nathan, and Ezra all made a point to touch their wayward lamb as they rounded the table.  They were grinning like Cheshire cats when the waitress took their orders.

Vin nudged the younger man's arm, pointing to the chili fries on the table. "You done with those?"

JD's grin was infectious as they saw him visibly relax into a familiar banter. "Are you kidding me? They're cold."

Vin shrugged. "So…" and stuffed a few in his mouth, "Mmmm…"

JD chuckled and was about to speak when, wrinkling up his nose, Nathan cut in. "Cold chili fries? Lord, Vin I swear your stomach is made of cast iron.”

Snatching at the fries, JD said, "Well…if they're that good, maybe I was too hasty."

Vin made an unsuccessful attempt to retrieve them. "Hey…no fair…you can't do that to a man…give him your fries then take 'em back!" He watched JD stuff some in his mouth.

"Mmmm, you're right, they're good…"

While the two battled it out, the rest of the men relaxed and gazed around in relief at each other, Chris and Buck locked eyes, conveying a message, which needed no words. They knew JD had things to talk about, they all did, that was why they were there, but they also sensed JD had turned a corner, which was more than they hoped for when Buck called.

Chris decided to keep the conversation on safe ground until JD was ready to tell them more. "We miss you at work."

Pausing before he took another fry and popped it in his mouth, JD nodded. "I miss being there, too." He glanced around the table and saw the encouragement on his brothers’ faces.  During the recent weeks of emotional upheaval, there were moments when he thought he’d never be with these men like this again….The Sherriff’s words echoed in his head. * You still have a tough road ahead, but you have six good men waiting on you. Don't fight your fate, and when you're ready, let your brothers help you.*

"I’ll be back soon, I promise. I just need to make a few permanent arrangements for my family." His eyes misted, and he pushed the plate away as he sat back in his seat. "I thought Casey would come home and we'd eventually get our lives back on track, but…”

JD looked up and saw Buck give him a nod of support. "She won't be coming home…not anytime soon, anyhow…" his voice dropped to a whisper, "…maybe never."

"Aww kid…forever's a long time…"

Gathering his strength, he fought back the emotion, which threatened to well up, and shook his head. "She can’t face the present right now, and the woman I’ve been seeing is a long way from being my Casey. The thing is…I feel terrible about leaving her there, as if I'm letting her down.  If she could come home with some meds, I’d try like hell to reach her…”

Buck squeezed JD's arm. "Come on, son…don’t beat yourself up like this. If the doc says this is the right thing to do, then it is."

JD stared at him. "If it was me, would you leave me there?"

In his head Buck screamed no…the thought of JD being incarcerated and alone was more than he could bear, but he also knew that was not what the kid needed to hear right now. "I honestly don't know…but I'd like to think I would always act in your best interests."

JD nodded. “I don't doubt that for a moment." He sighed. "I guess I'll have to trust Doctor Woodley, for now, and take this one day at a time." He cleared his throat. “I’m entering unknown territory with the kids.” He glanced at Chris. "I‘ve found I have a lot to learn about being both mother and father….  I want to be supportive to Casey too, and do my job at MCAT…  I reckon I’m going to make more than a few mistakes while I try to work this out, but I know for certain that I am ready to move forward.”

Buck smiled. "Lean on us kid… we'll help you, I promise."

Chris stretched out his arm and held his hand palm up over the center of the table.  Buck laid his hand on top of Chris’s, followed by Josiah, Nathan, Ezra, and Vin. Placing his hand on top of Vin’s, JD felt the inexplicable strength of their brotherhood radiate through him. He had passed through the darkest period of his life, and was now back where he belonged; ready to take on whatever challenges fate had waiting for him.

Chris used his free hand to raise his bottle of beer for a toast, “To the timeless bond of faith, family, and friends that destiny has bestowed to us.”

They all nodded, clinked glasses, and took a drink. Sitting back, they prepared to talk…for however long it took.

Chris’s Journal ~ Late Monday, July 28

Damn, has it really been a month since I took time to update? Guess so. A lot has transpired in the past four weeks though. JD has walked through his trial by fire, come out a stronger man for it, and found his way home to us. The coming months will not be easy for him. He has to make adjustments in his personal life, without Casey, at least for now, but he has accepted the challenge. I am confident that whatever the future holds for him, he can handle it. 

This summer has been a revelation to me in other ways, too. When I met Vin, he brought light and balance back into my life and completed the reconnection of our seven. Cowboy came and opened doors to a spiritual side of my being I never believed in before, but now accept as truth. Even my time with Linda showed me how I needed to be more open to life, and gave me living proof, with Grace and Cody, that all things, good and bad, connect in a way we should never question. I have discovered through Kelli that we do not lose missed opportunities forever; we simply have to wait until Fate deems it is time to unveil them. Cait and I have moved closer, and she has the ability to calm my temperament in a way I thought no woman but Sarah, could do.

 I continue to fight Linda over custody of our children and we go to court in two days. Though I worry about the outcome, I have been able to lean more on trust and faith, instead of anger and guilt, to guide my actions.  Thanks to the life lessons, I have received over the past few years; I was ready to accept ‘The Legends of the Quest’. I see the future through different eyes, and know for fact that when the strength of seven is involved, anything is possible.

Chapter 23

The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results."

*Carl Jung

Larabee/ Dubois Custody hearing ~Denver Courthouse ~ 8:00 A.M., July 30,

Chris yanked on the collar of the monkey suit Ezra had specially designed for him to wear for this occasion. He was never someone who minded suits, but this one was damned uncomfortable. When Ezra stopped by his house this morning to inform him that Linda’s attorney, Bennett Anderson, wanted to meet with him for an impromptu conference before  their scheduled court time, Chris felt his heart drop into his stomach. The initial meeting with the lawyers had ended with him and Linda having a screaming match, before he finally stormed out of the conference room.

After that, Ezra and Robert ran interference at subsequent meetings, sparing him from having to face Linda again. Finally, it came down to him stepping out and allowing Ezra to handle the entire situation. He did not want to do anything to aid Linda in restoring her parental rights and getting permanent custody of his children, but he never realized how difficult to stick to it would be.

In the past couple of weeks, he had spent every possible moment he could with Cody and Grace. Even though he trusted in Ezra’s abilities as a lawyer to secure him permanent custody of his children, Chris nevertheless felt the need to gather his two youngest close to him. Ezra kept him informed about all telephone conversations or meetings he had during that time with Bennett Anderson. He knew the opposing counsel intended to bring up his drug usage. They planned to question his inability to keep himself and his children safe, as well as use Sarah and Adam’s deaths’ against him. Linda’s attorneys would also bring up the attacks by the RMR, which occurred on the ranch.

Ezra assured him he expected all that, and he planned to counter with airing Linda’s own dirty laundry. While he did not particularly like the idea of his own personal business made public in court documents, Chris was not ashamed either. If it meant keeping Cody and Grace with him, he was willing to sacrifice anything.

Chris was not at all surprised to find all his brothers, Kelli, and Cait waiting for him at the courthouse. He needed their support to get through the next agonizing couple of hours. Even though Matt Dubois had told him he would support him, it strengthened his spirit to see Matt there. He understood how difficult it was for the other man to stand with him and go against his own flesh and blood.

Now, Chris paced along the corridor, which housed several consulting chambers and two courtrooms. He cast continuous glances at each conference room in turn, wondering which one they were using to decide his children’s future. He had the strongest desire to eavesdrop at each door until he heard Ezra’s distinctive voice, and intrude upon the meeting. He refrained from doing so, but it was killing him not to know what was going on, and each moment that passed brought them closer to the time court was going to convene.

Caitlyn was unwilling to watch Chris continue with his erratic behavior and rose from her seat to go to him. She caught sight of Vin rising from his own place on a bench beside his wife, out of the corner of her eye, and hesitated. Vin nodded his head toward her and sat back down, silently assuring her he was fine with her being the one to talk to Chris.

Chris started to turn around and retrace his route down the aisle, but found his path blocked by Caitlyn.

“Everything’s going to work out fine, Chris.” Cait reached up to adjust his collar and straighten his tie.

Chris smiled down at her. “I’m acting like a crazy man, I know, but the suspense is killing me.”

“That’s understandable.” Cait looked up at him. “You have to have faith and believe that Fate intends for you to watch your children grow into fine young adults.”

Recently, he had come to trust Fate in a way he never had before. He supposed there was no reason to stop doubting her now. With Ezra and Fate on his side, how could he lose?

Conference Room 6

“We asked for this meeting on the belief that you are truly interested in securing the future of young Grace and Cody Larabee.” Bennett Anderson stated, once everyone had seated themselves around the oblong table.

“That is an accurate statement.” Ezra acknowledged.

“We are prepared to settle the petition of custody outside the courtroom to spare your client public embarrassment. If you and your client agree to have Miss Dubois’ parental rights restored and additionally give over full physical custody of the children, we will not have to disclose details of his personal life publicly.”

Bennett opened a leather briefcase, and pulled out a stack of official documents. He set a packet of them down in front of Ezra, while sifting through the others, which remained in his pudgy hands. “We have documented Mister Larabee’s drug usage, including dates of hospital admissions due to narcotic abuse. His suspension and the following six-month probation as commander of MCAT is public record. We can prove that on more than one occasion, the children’s lives were at risk in direct connection to his hazardous line of work. On February 2, eighteen months ago, a dangerous racist group, armed with grenades and assault rifles, attacked Larabee 7. The situation was so extreme parents had removed all of the school age children living on the Larabee 7 from public classes, and practically held them prisoner on the ranch, for the duration of the case. Then, last October, a personal vendetta, stemming from the deaths of his first wife, son and unborn daughter, was the catalyst for his oldest daughter and infant grandson’s kidnapping. During the course of his work, Larabee has been shot, stabbed, otherwise injured on several occasions, tortured by a serial killer, and later kidnapped by his deranged brother. He was arrested and charged with murder last December, when again, his addiction to drugs came into question.

In spite of his supposed security updates for protection of the children, two months ago, one of the children’s ‘aunts’ violently attacked her husband, and almost succeeded in killing him, while their three young children were asleep down the hall. We also have a sworn statement from Miss Dubois that her ex-husband neither intended to have or wanted, any more children. ”

Anderson reseated himself and smugly looked across the table at Ezra. “As you can see we’ve done a thorough investigation. We have every confidence that the judge will agree, restore my client’s rights and grant her custody of the children.”

Ezra schooled his features, and straightened out a wrinkle in his suit jacket, before addressing the egotistical bastard sitting across from him. “Since we are both being candid, there are a few things I think you should be privy to.”

He glanced at Robert Eaves for permission to continue. The lead attorney nodded his approval, and Ezra continued. Opening his brief case, he withdrew several items. A stack of papers, a cassette tape, a couple of folders, and a packet of envelopes, “Miss Lindsey, as the children’ advocate, has provided several impact statements signed by child psychologists, doctors, and care providers who have observed the Larabee children on a regular basis. These statements indicate that in their professional opinions the children should remain with their father. We also have Mister Larabee’s exemplary military service record, his spotless record from his years with the Denver Police Department, followed by his position as a Commander for ATF and MCAT Units. Several character references are also included, to name a few, you’ll find one from the governor of the state of Colorado, two U.S. Senators, four congressmen, and numerous other reputable citizens. Also, we have a list of his service commendations from his stint with the Navy SEALS subsequently followed by an assortment of law enforcement awards and citations.”

Anderson scoffed, “That’s all well and good, but I can provide professionals who will state just the opposite. As for Mister Larabee’s records….anyone can be an addict, even law enforcement officers.”

Ezra nodded. “I realized that these reports alone would not be sufficient ammunition to halt your petition. That is why we took the liberty of investigating the backgrounds of Miss Dubois and Mister Renaldo, who we understand intends to be the children’s stepfather should your client prevail today. Let’s start with Miss Dubois.”

Linda’s scathing glare locked on Ezra, even as she shifted a bit uncomfortably in her chair.

Ignoring Linda, Ezra focused on her attorney. “We’ll begin with her less than stellar past, as you have chosen to do with my client. Our report commences during her high school years.  From the age of fifteen to when she graduated, Miss Dubois either received a ticket or on several occasions jailed, for underage drinking, speeding, and numerous traffic violations. Her juvenile records were expunged of course, but serious nonetheless. During this period, we have also acquired information proving she had the first of two abortions, the other following her freshman year of college. It was then that she also became a perpetual student, changing her career path four times over the following eight years. Eventually she quit school without obtaining a degree, and joined the New Orleans Police Department, where she lasted less than a year. She tried her hand at skydiving, made the rounds at horse shows as an exhibitor, and several other unfinished endeavors over the next few years. She also became engaged to four different men, and for one reason or another, was the one who broke off the relationship. I believe we can adequately prove that commitment to anything is difficult for Miss Dubois. Her problem has always been that she became bored quickly and was off to find another adventure, just as she became bored with motherhood”.

Ezra changed files. “Moving forward to her police record, she was arrested and charged on three separate occasions with DUI, although the charges were dropped due to legal finagling, one of the accidents she caused left a sixteen-year-old girl paralyzed for life, and cost the Dubois family five million dollars to settle out of court.”

“You have done your homework Mister Standish; however, that is all in my client’s past, and does not hold any bearing on her desire to reinstate her parental rights.”

“I agree the pasts of either your client or mine, has little relevance to today’s proceedings. I do believe however, we have information that does directly relate to her current whimsy.” Ezra cast a quick glance at Linda, and was pleased to see her composure slip. “We can provide a taped conversation between Miss Dubois and her brother, Matthew, where she adamantly states her displeasure about being pregnant with her son, and her aversion to be tied down with the responsibility of children.”

Ezra set down the cassette tape, and reached for the packet of letters. “She entrusted these letters to be held for her children, and in her own hand explained in detail her reasons for giving up her parental rights, freely without coercion. This effectively negates your position that she involuntarily gave up her rights. Since deserting her children, she reestablished her relationship with Marshall Vanderson, a known member of the KKK. After three months, she dropped him, and joined the jet set earning herself quite a reputation as a party girl. Consequently, she met and became enamored with her current paramour, Gregory Renaldo.

Mister Renaldo is an interesting character. It appears that he and his family have amassed a great fortune; the majority of which we can prove was gained through illegal activity.” Ezra picked up one of the files and handed it to Mister Anderson. “He has been under investigation by several law enforcement agencies over the past ten years for ties to the Italian Mafia, suspicion of drug trafficking, and he apparently has a gambling addiction, and is currently in debt to the wrong people for over thirty million dollars. Should I go on?”

Ezra looked pointedly at Linda’s lawyer, and waited for a response.

Linda started to jump up, visibly upset, but Gregory grabbed her arm, and forced her to remain seated. Bennett threw the papers toward Ezra in a dismissive manner, glaring at him with eyes brimming with hate and said, “You have nothing and you have no idea who you are dealing with. I do not lose cases, and have every intention of winning this one.”

“Bring on your best, because you, sir, have no idea who you are dealing with.” 

Bennett threw his files back into his briefcase, stood up, and said, “We’re through here. We’ll see you in the courtroom.”

Anderson, Linda, and Renaldo exited the conference room. Ezra leaned back in his chair, looked at Barbara and Robert, and said, “That went well.”

Once out in the corridor, Linda pulled away from Gregory and marched over to Chris. “You may think you are smart, but I will have my children, and you can go straight to hell.”

She turned on her heel before Larabee could respond and entered the courtroom.

Chris glanced at his gathered family members and stated the obvious. “What did Ezra do now?”

The Standish’s and lead attorney, Robert Eaves, joined them. Chris cast Ezra a doubtful look. Ezra took him by the arm and told him to be patient. Chris closed his eyes and mentally counted to ten, reminding himself he had promised to trust Ezra, and he was going to do that, even if it killed him. He opened his eyes and looked at his family, “Let’s go get this circus over with.”

As a group, they entered the courtroom. Even though the decision was out of their hands at this point, they were prepared to stand together as a family, for better or worse.

Courtroom ~ 10:30 A.M.

Chris sat between Robert Eaves and Ezra Standish on one side of the room, while Linda sat between Bennett Anderson and Gregory Renaldo on the other side. The judge had been in deliberations for forty-five minutes. Tension was high, and patience was thin, as they waited for the judge to render his decision. Just when Chris believed he could not handle waiting another moment, the bailiff stood.

“All rise.”

The judge reentered the courtroom and took his seat on the bench. Chris took a deep breath to quell the flight of flittering butterflies in his stomach. He could feel the support of his family around him, and repeatedly, been assured he was on solid ground, but fear threatened to overtake his good sense. Whatever happened in the next few minutes, would affect the rest of his and his children’s futures. He presented a stoic front to the judge as he waited for an answer.

The judge banged his gavel on his desk and announced, “This court is now in session. In reference to the case # 248656, Larabee vs. Dubois, I am ready to hand down my decision.”

Ezra reached over to grip Chris’s arm in show of support, and silence descended on the courtroom.

“After careful consideration of the documents provided to me by opposing sides, the children’s attorney, and my own investigative report, I have concluded there is not sufficient evidence shown to prove that Miss Dubois was coerced in giving up her parental rights. In my opinion, she has provided no new grounds to change to prove otherwise. Christopher Larabee is to therefore remain the sole, permanent, custodial parent of Grace Addison and Cody Christopher Larabee.”

He banged his gavel again. “Case dismissed.”

Linda gasped and began yelling at her attorney, who quickly escorted her from the room.

Chris turned to Ezra and said, “I don’t know what you did, but thank you for doing it.”

“My pleasure, I assure you,” Ezra responded as Caitlyn and Kelli rushed forward to congratulate Chris, tears of joy for him shimmering down their cheeks. The rest of the family followed suit. They swarmed around the desk, congratulating and cheering.

“This calls for a celebration!” Chris said, rising to his feet, and taking Caitlyn in his arms. “I’ll meet everyone at the ranch at noon. Right now, I need to see my children.”

9:00 P.M.

After sharing a wonderful afternoon with the children and celebrating Chris’s victory with the rest of the family. Chris and Caitlyn decided they needed to have their own private celebration.

Arms entwined around each other's waists, they approached the door of their hotel room. It had taken some planning, but their 'special night' had finally come to fruition. The battle with Linda was finished, the Larabee children were safe at home in their beds, under Dottie’s watchful eye, and nothing needed their immediate attention. The pair enjoyed a delicious meal and decided dessert was best served on a queen-sized bed. A bottle of champagne on ice was waiting for them in their room.

Closing the door, Chris swept Cait up and kissed her passionately, the redhead immediately feeling Chris's need as he pressed his body against hers. She shifted slightly and he groaned into her mouth as her movement touched his swelling member. Eagerly he raked his teeth down her neck, then kissed and licked his way back up; to once more capture her mouth. She pulled away slightly, their panting evident as her warm breath tickled his chin.

"I'd like to try something…may I?"

Chris grinned. "I'm yours to command."

Cait moved back and began undoing Chris's shirt buttons, her eyes never leaving his for a moment as her hands pushed the fabric off his shoulders to allow the shirt to drop to the floor. Stepping back, much to Chris's surprise, Cait deftly slipped out of her dress, smiling as her lover's eyes became black with desire. With no bra, her breasts were free and it was all Chris could do to stop himself from moving toward her.

"Ah, ah, ah…Larabee…I'm calling the shots here, remember." She turned her back to remove her panties, ensuring he had a good view of her butt, then slowly turned back, releasing her hair as she did so.

Chris felt as if he had a weight attached to his aching member. The sight of her filled him to bursting. He watched her approach, shuddering as her breasts brushed his chest, immediately putting his hands on her hips to pull her close. Unexpectedly, she produced a black silk blindfold and covered her man's eyes with it.

"Now I can't see you," Chris sighed.

"You'll see me later…when you return the favor…but for now…relax."

Completely at her mercy, Chris stood quietly as he felt her delicate fingers unzipping his pants.

“Kick off your shoes," she whispered and he obliged, hearing the double thuds as she tossed them aside. His trousers now at his ankles, Cait placed Chris's hands on her shoulders for support and the blond stepped out of them.

"Are you still wearing your heels?"

Cait giggled. "Yes."

Chris groaned, "Naked and in heels…oh God."

Removing the last of his garments, the redhead ran the palms of her hands down his thighs to take the material to the floor. Chris kicked away the silk boxers eagerly as he stood in the dark, desperate to feel Cait's touch as his pulsing organ wept unashamedly.

Moving silently to the ice bucket on the nightstand, Cait selected a large piece of ice and, once in front of Chris, placed it in her teeth. She ran it over Chris's chest and nipples, smiling as he gasped, his abdomen hollowing as it reached his naval.

"Oh God…Cait…"

Slipping the cube into her mouth, she sucked it as she ran her hands over him, his back, his shoulders, abs and butt, smiling to herself as his groin thrust toward her, his need great, now. Crunching the ice, she kneeled before him, her hands trailing down to his thighs to remain there as she took him into her mouth.

Chris gasped and shuddered when something painfully, but deliciously cold swept over him, followed by hands he wanted, needed to touch him. He felt her moving down, the cold sensation gone, but his body tingling from the deed. So far, they had made love on several occasions and it had been beautiful and passionate, but Chris had mostly taken the initiative, with Cait compliant and hungry for more. Dare he hope they were about to take it up a gear? As his senses amplified in the darkness of the blindfold, he found his answer when he cried out as coldness enveloped his primed organ.

"Oh, sweet Jesus…"

He would have marveled at the tactic, as, without the cold, he would surely have come the instant she placed her mouth over him. However he was too busy grinding his hips, as the woman he had fallen in love with worked him with such imagination that he was brought to the brink several times, only to be taken back a step. He held her shoulders for support as his body went into overdrive.

"Please, baby…please…"

Caitlyn was pleased with the reactions she was getting, and decided having heard his plea that she had tormented him enough. She sucked harder, taking in the shaft from tip to base. Chris cried out and shuddered fiercely as his hot seed hit the back of her throat and she swallowed instinctively. Satisfied she had sucked him dry, Cait stood to kiss him, his quivering body now held tightly in her arms as he came down from his release. Raising her arms, she undid the blindfold to gaze once more into the green eyes she adored.

Chris blinked, despite the lighting in the room being soft. He stared at Cait with love in his eyes, leaned forward and kissed her tenderly, trying to ignore how weakened he felt. Their kisses deepened and the stirring in his loins told him he was more than ready to return the favor. Taking the blindfold, he covered her eyes and led her toward the bed, stripping back the covers before laying her down on the crisp sheets.

"My shoes…" she breathed, startled as Chris whispered into her ear.

"Leave them," he whispered back and proceeded to suckle her earlobe, moving down her neck and sucking hard to make his mark. She gasped and her body began to writhe with anticipation, moaning as she felt his tongue licking at the hollow of her neck and across her collarbone. She missed being able to see Chris, but the awareness she was experiencing as she lay in the darkness excited her. She felt Chris's hand touch her and opened her legs.

"Oh…oh…God…"

Something icy was placed inside her and she squirmed as it settled, her breaths coming in shallow pants as she battled with the attention Chris was giving her breasts against the delicious coldness as the ice cube inside her moved in tune with her. She felt Chris's mouth move down her body and she arched in anticipation.

Chris lapped and suckled at his lover's body, his erection once again at full strength and impatient to please and be pleased. He quietly picked up an ice cube from the bucket, moving his other hand between Cait's legs. As they parted, he touched her and, guided by the wetness, switched the cube to the exploring hand and pushed the ice into her hot depths, smiling at the reaction.

Moving up, his teeth grazed her stiffened nipples and his tongue sucked them noisily, relishing the taste of the woman squirming beneath him. Traveling down to her mound, he raised her up and proceeded to suck and release, causing the ice cube to move back and forth inside her while she arched and squealed at his ministrations. Soon after, the cube was flushed and Caitlyn's body shuddered as Chris took her hot, wet orgasm fully and returned her earlier good deed.

Cait felt Chris lift her slightly and then his wonderful mouth was on her. She squealed as the cold lump inside her moved back and forth and she writhed in Chris's face mercilessly as he rode her to ecstasy. She had never felt anything like it and her body exploded with a force she had never experienced before, her euphoria ongoing as Chris's mouth and tongue continued until she was spent.

~~~7~~~

The blindfold was damp as Chris removed it, Cait's tears evident as he gazed at her, knowing instinctively she was crying with joy, not pain.

"I need to see you when we make love," he said softly.

She nodded and they kissed, deeply and longingly, groaning into each other's mouths as he skillfully pushed inside her. His need great, Christ thrust, hard, Cait meeting his every move.

"Harder, Chris…harder."

Their coupling was fierce as Cait screamed out her orgasm, Chris following seconds behind. Drenched in sweat, the pair clung to each other, Chris eventually rolling onto his back and bringing Cait with him. She felt him leave her body and the loss was unbearable. In less than ten minutes, they were making love again, proving to themselves once more that trust, faith, and love, forever trumps adversity, anger, and bitterness.

Chapter 24

There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven.

Dunne Home, ~ August 7, 5:00A.M

Nettie’s heart ached as she watched JD clutching the countertop in the kitchen. He had been standing in the same position since he received the call from Buck, ten minutes earlier. Moving behind him, she put her arms around his waist.

"I know where your mind is, son…, but Buck needs you. You'll never forgive yourself if you miss this moment."

His voice thick with emotion, JD nodded, but didn't turn to look at her. "I know…it's just…oh God. I don't know if I can go through this just yet. To see them all there…together as couples…"

Nettie felt his body shudder.

"Casey always…"

The older woman turned him toward her, saddened by the tears in his eyes. "I know, darlin' and this is so unfair to you…but you've done well up to now…and I know your love for Buck will help you with this decision. But only you can make it." With a kiss to his cheek, she released him, and went to check on the children.

JD needed to think…and fast.

Denver Memorial Hospital

Buck turned toward the door, when a nurse entered his and Inez's room.

"Mister and Mrs. Wilmington …your family is arriving."

Despite her discomfort, Inez looked at him and smiled. "Go to them…Isabella and I, are not quite done, yet."

Smiling back, he bent to kiss her lips and nodded. "I won’t be but a few minutes.”

The early morning call from Buck, though it was not unexpected, was a surprise. Being the wee hours of the morning, and likely, as this was Inez's fourth childbirth, she wouldn't be too long in delivering the newest Wilmington daughter; most of the Wild Bunch made it into the maternity wing in record time.

The group stood when Buck stepped in to the room. He smiled as they surrounded him.

"I can't stay…won't be long now. Thanks for coming." His eyes searched the room as he spoke causing his heart to ache a little.

Chris squeezed his arm. “We wouldn't miss this for the world. Go…we're not going anywhere." He leaned in and whispered. "JD’ll be here, Buck."

With a nod and a final grin to his family, Buck left to go back to Inez. Chris looked at Vin, who was holding his cell to his ear and shaking his head. Chris sighed, inwardly. 'Come on, Kid…’

~~~7~~~

Reluctantly releasing Inez's hand, Buck shifted his position to watch Isabella make her entrance into the world. With a deep growl, Inez gave a final push and the little one slipped out into the waiting hands of the doctor.  The nurse handed over the scissors…and Buck cut the umbilical cord for his fifth child.

As thrilled as Buck was to have experienced such a moment, he watched anxiously while the medical team worked on his girl, smiling seconds later when her first little cry filled the hushed room. He took Inez's hand and leaned in, unable to prevent the sensual kiss to her lips as his love for this amazing woman took control of his emotions. "I love you so much."

Inez touched his face; her love for him evident. "I know."

They both looked up as the nurse walked over to present Isabella Danielle Wilmington to her parents. Inez nodded to Buck and he took the precious bundle in his arms, kissing her lightly on the head before he passed her over to mama. "Welcome, little darlin'."

Maternity Ward Waiting Room

The waiting room was silent. Family members lost themselves deep in thought, while they waited for news.

Vin squeezed Kelli's hand, hoping this wasn't stirring up too many painful memories. The reassuring squeeze he received, in return, eased his concerns.

Ezra and Barbara gazed at each other, hoping their own ‘baby moment’, would be in their near future.

Nathan grinned at his wife’s comforting smile, which convinced him all was going well with Inez.

Josiah and Mallory reflected on their own joy when their children sanctified their marriage. They had been overwhelmed when God had blessed their union.

Cait briefly felt a wave of regret, realizing she could never give the man she loved such a moment. Chris was grateful she was here to share this family event with him, while praying JD would make it on time.

Parking his bike, JD put his thumbs under the sides of his helmet and levered it off, scrubbing his fingers through his hair to neaten it a little. He hurried to the Maternity waiting room, and paused for a moment before entering to compose his emotions. This was his family…he may be alone…but he could do this…for Buck.  The group stood when the door opened and JD entered, bike helmet in hand.

He smiled at the faces looking at him. "Didn't miss anything, did I?"

Chris squeezed JD's arm. "No you're just in time…" He wanted to say he was proud of JD; to have walked in that door without Casey at his side for the first time, took courage.

A few minutes later, Buck entered the room with his baby daughter in his arms. They surged forward, and JD stepped back to lean on a wall for support, just for a moment.

"Family, meet Isabella Danielle Wilmington… Isabella, meet The Wild Bunch. You’ll love them as much as they already love you.” He looked up and grinned. “Mama’s asleep, but Bella wanted to visit.”.

They all cooed over the baby, and congratulated Buck as he beamed with pride. Slowly, he raised his eyes to see JD, leaning against a wall, grinning through watery eyes, and the pair nodded to each other.

Sensing the mood, the group parted, and Buck and JD moved toward each other.

Despite the ache in JD’s heart, it soared when Buck held out his new daughter. It was only a few short months ago that he and Casey had shared the same joyful moment. He looked at the tiny pink bundle. “Little lady…you have two wonderful parents… and you are so lucky.”  His eyes locked with Buck's, moving toward the man without even realizing it.

"She's beautiful, Buck." He reached out to stroke her tiny head, sighing at the touch of the downy black hair. "Isabella Danielle?"

Buck nodded, and smiling, handed the baby to JD, who cuddled her, and kissed her head softly. The big man pulled the pair toward him and sighed. They had come full circle…and survived.

Chris’s Journal, Monday, August 25

The first annual ‘Reins of Change Rodeo’ was a success. The cowboys put on a great show and the children went home with smiles on their faces. The donations were generous and the fun was contagious. Buck is already planning bigger and better for next year.

It was good to see JD attend with his children. It seemed odd not to see Casey with him though. Even after all that has happened, I hope for his sake, the children’s and Nettie’s that she is able to make some kind of recovery. I suppose only time will tell. I know the past couple of months have been traumatic for JD, but he is working things out, and he told me he would be back at work today.

I, for one, am glad to see this summer end.  This has been a difficult few months for The Wild Bunch. We have had more downs than ups; however, the ups are good ones. Linda’s challenge for the children is over. I received a letter from her saying she was leaving Denver, and would be going to Spain with her new husband, Gregory. Her words sounded bitter, but evidently, she has accepted the judge’s ruling and said she would not be coming back to Colorado…ever. I wish them the best.

The only thing that mattered to me was securing sole custody of Grace and Cody. I will make sure they know the good things about their mother and Kelli can tell them about the Linda she knew. I think Kel saw a side of her I never did and I am certain she will have good stories to tell her younger brother and sister.  As for me, I am looking forward.  Whatever comes my way, Caitlyn will be a big part of my life. She has been good for me, the same way Sarah was. She accepts me for me and does not try to change who I am. Yet, she’s feisty, and will not hesitate to stand up to me if she believes I am out of line. We have found a good balance with one another and I enjoy the time we spend together.

Gotta run…early meeting with Travis…more later.

MCAT Office

JD stood in front of the entrance to MCAT, reluctant to open the door, which would lead him back to work. Only three months had passed since he had walked out this same door…yet, it seemed more like a lifetime for John Daniel Dunne. He was returning to a job he loved, with the same people he had known for years, Chris had already given him his re-entry interview, and he was ready to return. Still, he was a far different man today than he was when he left. Taking a deep breath, he straightened his shoulders, reached for the doorknob, and took the next step into his future.

 “Morning guys, “JD said as he walked into the break area and reached for a cup.” Before I pour this…who made this pot?”

“Welcome back, Kid.” Buck leaned over and squeezed his shoulder. “I made the coffee for the team and Gunny made the Captain’s.” He winked at JD. “Good thing, too or I’m sure he’d make us all suffer with that stuff he calls coffee.”

“Y’all just don’t know what good is,” Vin took a sip from his cup, then looked at JD, “Glad you’re back. You need anythin’, just let me know.”

“You get everything settled at home?”  Buck watched JD for any signs of anxiety.

JD leaned against the cabinet and drank from his cup before answering.”We’re taking it one day at a time.” His voice dropped as he sighed. “I tried to see Casey again, but…she’s still not ready. I don’t know when or…if she ever will be, so Lisa…uh, Missus Hastings agreed to stay on as long as Nettie and I need her.” He cleared his throat. “Chris is running late this morning isn’t he?”

Buck dropped his head to avoid letting JD see his emotional reaction and Vin answered. “He’s in with Travis for an early meetin’.”

“He told me he wanted to drop the attempts to break Ice’s code.” JD looked at Vin. “Is he really okay with it or just saying it to spare me…? ‘Cause I can….”

Vin shook his head. “Hold on, Kid. Chris decided to drop work on the code, before he knew when you’d be comin’ back. He reckons it’s time to concentrate on his life, now, and let go of the past.”

JD nodded.” Maybe he’s right. Dealing with the here and now is a full time job.” He set his empty cup in the sink. “I’m going to go over and reacquaint myself with CASSIE. See you guys later.”

“Damn,” Buck said after JD walked out. “I hate seeing him go through this. Casey should at least talk to him. Hasn’t she caused enough…”

Vin cut in quickly, knowing where thoughts like that could lead. “He caught a tough break, but give him time…he’ll find a way to handle everything.” Vin saw his wife enter the office with a few other agents, and for a moment, he was transported back in time. Ice had tried her damndest to destroy them, and failed, but it could have easily gone the other way. He and Kelli were the lucky ones; they had made it all the way back. The impact of Ice’s insane plans still had JD, Casey, and their children’s lives firmly in its grasp with no signs of turning loose anytime soon.

Tanner shook his head to clear the unwanted images his memories had stirred.  “I wanna finish some paperwork, before Chris comes out of Travis’s office and starts crackin’ the whip.”

“You do that; I need to make a few calls anyway.” Buck walked out with Vin.

Travis’s Office

 Orrin handed the last file to Chris. “While I still have reservations about committing MCAT to assignments out of the country, I understand why our assistance was requested. These jobs demand top security clearance, will be high risk, damn problematical, and the odds of a success is less than thirty percent.  Nevertheless, I am confident that if anyone can pull it off, it will be Alpha team.”

Chris leaned back in his chair and ran a list of the possible complications through his mind. “My opinion of Shadow Ops hasn’t changed since the last time we discussed them.”

“So noted, but this request comes from a source who cannot be connected in any way to missions such as this.” Orrin removed his glasses and rubbed his temples. “Chris, we cannot refuse to take this on, and it is imperative that we run them as Shadow operations. Any resources you require will be at your disposal, and I will allow you free reign to run these missions your way, with two exceptions. One, you must launch no later than the last week in September, and two, a total blackout on communications is essential.”

Chris nodded. “In other words, once we deploy, we’re on our own, and can’t look for assistance if we run into trouble.” He laid the file down and stared out the window.  As a former SEAL, he understood the reasons for secrecy, and the risks involved with this type of covert mission.  Back then, though, he was not a single parent with young children who depended on him being there. Now…his life was different. Hell, they all had issues now that were not a consideration a few years ago. Their resolve about their roles in making the world a safer place though, was still as strong as it had always been, only now it was more personal …their children’s futures depended on the outcome.

“I have my own exceptions, Orrin. One, I will not force any member of my team to come on board with these assignments.  Participation is strictly voluntary. Two, if I call an abort, we are out of there, no questions asked.”

“Done,” Orrin agreed. ”Pull Alpha team out of MCAT rotation; use Camp Larabee to meet, plan and train.” He stood and walked around the desk. “No matter what happens, your priority is to make sure our team returns home intact.”

Chris stood, shook the Director’s hand, and smiled. “That, Sir, is something we can agree on.” As he walked out, Chris was already making plans. Now all he had to do was make it happen.

The End

Next in the Series:

# 5 ~ Code of Honor

  # 6 ~ Purgatory