Chapter 8: Surviving
Series: Lessons in Love
Altnernate Universe Into The Fold
Vin stood there surrounded by his brothers until he could no longer see or hear the sheriff's cars. Suddenly he was filled with an almost uncontrollable rage. He'd finally found the perfect man for and he hadn't even fought for him. He just stood there watching as Ezra struggled to free himself. Jerking away from Buck, Vin stormed into the house. He . . . he never even told Ezra that he loved him. Vin had left it too late.
He found himself standing in front the liquor cabinet and with a shaky hand reached for a bottle of whiskey only to have another hand cover his.
"That's not the answer," Chris told him. "Believe me I know."
"What do ya know!"
"I know you won't find Ezra at the bottom of that bottle."
"So what do I do? Please tell me since you have all the answers?!" Vin asked with tears in his eyes. "Tell me how I'm gonna survive without Ezra. Tell . . . tell me why . . . I d..did nothing to s..stop them from taking him away from m..me," he said with a catch in his voice.
"You did try Vin. Hell, me and Nathan had to hold you back," Buck told him. "Besides, you know Ezra would not have wanted to you get hurt because of him."
"And you heard him he'll be back," Nathan told him.
The more Vin wiped the tears away the more they fell.
"What's going to happen to Ezra?" JD asked as he wiped his own tears away.
With his back to them Josiah said, "I would imagine that he'd be kept under a pretty tight rein until the trial's over."
"So they wouldn't let us see him?"
"No JD, they wouldn't."
With that Vin lost what little control he had left and just let the tears fall. He wrapped his arms around Chris and took the comfort he offered. Vin cried until he had no tears left and Josiah had Nathan give him a sedative.
~/~/~
Chris had watched as Josiah and Vin moped around for the last two weeks and he was damned sick and tired of it. The trial had started that morning and the sheriff had stopped by yesterday and confirmed that Ezra was indeed being kept in seclusion. Vin, who had never been known to hold a grudge, absolutely refused to speak with Frank, but then again Vin barely spoke to any of them anymore. Their brother was closing in on himself and if they didn't something then they'd lose him.
Looking at them now as they picked at the food had Chris's temper flaring. He slammed his fist on the table in frustration and snapped, "All right I've had just about all I'm taking of the moping around that I'm gonna take. So snap out of it!"
"We're just worried about him is all," Josiah told him.
"I know that and I understand, but making yourselves sick over it isn't going to help any," Chris told him. "Don't you trust Ezra?"
"Yes," they both said without hesitation.
"Then have a little faith," he said as he got to his feet.
~/~/~
Vin watched as Chris walked from the room and knew that he was right. If Ezra said he was coming back . . . by damned he would. With a surge of hope Vin finished his supper. All of it. He was done feeling sorry for himself.
For the next week him and Josiah watched the news morning, noon, and night hoping that the trial would end soon and that they might catch a glimpse of Ezra. But so far neither had happened.
Late one afternoon as Vin stood in front of the mirror in his room he realized that he needed a shave. Taking a good look at himself, he realized that he needed more than that. "Damn, Tanner you look like shit," he told his reflection. "What would Ezra say if he saw you now?" he asked himself. Then with a smirk answered himself, "You're lucky he can't see ya. 'Cause if he did he wouldn't want anything ta to with ya." With a shake of his head he realized that he wore these same clothes yesterday.
Striping Vin quickly showered and grabbed him some clean clothes. Dressed in only his jeans and boots he reached for the razor. He sighed in frustration as he brushed the hair from his face and out of his eyes for the hundredth time. Once he finished shaving Vin pulled on a shirt, grabbed his helmet and keys, and headed for the door.
"Hey Vin, where ya going?" JD asked as he stormed though the kitchen.
"Out!" was all Vin said and slammed the door behind him. Jumping on his bike he headed into town and came to a stop in front of a building with ten minutes left before closing. A lady stepped up to him as soon as he stepped into the shop and when she asked how she could help him Vin told her what he wanted.
Three hours later he parked his bike in the shed next to the newly rebuilt shed that Ezra's car had been parked in. Travis hadn't wasted any time in getting the repairs done. He had workmen and a tow truck out here the very next morning. Vin had almost cried as the bullet ridden Porsche was hauled away. Rounding a corner he slowed as he saw Nettie's car.
"It's about damned time you cut that hair," Nettie told him as soon as he walked into the door.
Vin didn't say word, just nodded his head and when he tried to go around her the older lady grabbed his arm.
"Damn boy, what cha been doing to yourself!"
Still Vin said nothing.
"I'm gonna fix you boys some supper," she told them. "All you need is a good hot meal to make you forget all about that no-account-southerner."
Vin jerked his arm free and snapped, "I don't want to forget him! I love Ezra! I won't have you or anyone for that matter saying anything against him." He stepped away from her as she made grab his arm again. "You best get used to the idea Nettie, 'cause when he comes back I don't plan on letting him leave again," he warned her.
"And if he don't want to stay?"
"Then he'll just have ta take me with 'im. I'd follow Ezra to the ends of the earth," Vin said then ran up the stairs to his room where he slammed the door shut before he said something he regretted.
Throwing his helmet to the floor his then tore his shirt off and heading for the shower. Standing under the stinging spray Vin gave into the tears burning his eyes. With hiccup he reached for the shampoo then washed and rinsed the loose hair away. Stepping out of the shower Vin dried himself then went into his room and pulled on a pair of black boxers.
Standing in front of the window Vin looked in the direction of Denver then rested his head against the cool pane and wondered what Ezra was doing at that moment. Raising his hand he rested it next to his head and whispered, "I miss ya Ezra. Please come home to me soon. I . . . I love you."
~/~/~
Ezra sighed as he rested his head against the window pane in his hotel room. "Please don't let Vin forget me," he prayed. Turning away from the window he stuck his hands in his pockets and paced restlessly around his room. As tired as he was, he dreaded going to bed where memories of Vin haunted and teased him.
Late the next morning Ezra once again found himself on the witness stand. He'd already been called to the stand twice now and had stood by his testimony. Ezra hadn't let either attorney rattle him. He stuck to his story and hadn't varied in any way. Ezra was barely listening as the defense attorney prattled on, his attention had been captured by a woman sitting in the third row behind the defendant. The lady kept fidgeting and looking nervously at the bailiffs and security guards. Ezra shifted his positions as the lady bent forward then suddenly jumped to her feet. Seeing what was in her hands had him screaming, "GUN!"
The lady fired four shots. The first shot went wide and ricocheted off a pillar and struck Ezra in the arm just as he bolted over the witness stand and threw the judge to the floor. The second went through the judge's bench grazing Judge Travis's leg. The third shot found its mark . . . in the back of the defendant's head. The fourth shot . . . she turned on herself.
Four hours later Ezra sat between two FBI Agents with his head bowed. His arm had been treated, stitched, and bandaged and he was now waiting on Travis. With a sigh he looked up and got to his feet as he saw Evie Travis headed his way.
"Ezra how is he?" Evie asked as soon as she reached him.
~/~/~
"I'm fine," Orrin replied as he emerged at that moment. Then gathered his wife in his arms.
"Oh, thank God," she said and held him tight. After a moment she stepped back and looked at Ezra. "How about you, Ezra? Are you okay?"
"Yes, ma'am," Ezra said and tried to smile but didn't quite manage it.
Evie looked at the young man that reminded her so much of her own son and frowned. "You don't look it," she told him. Then stepped closer to him and said, "You look like you've lost your best friend."
Ezra stepped away from the comforting hand that reached for him and whispered, "I hope not."
Evie wasn't offended by the move. After being around the younger man for the last six years she'd come to expect it. What she didn't expect was the painful sadness in his green eyes. It was as if Ezra was pining for someone. Then with a blink of his eyes it was gone and Evie wondered if it had been there at all.
Orrin watched as he wife of forty-five years tried to comfort the young man she had all but adopted. Evie had been drawn to Ezra upon their first meeting. Much to his and Ezra's discomfort. For some reason Ezra reminded his wife of their son Steven, who along with his wife, Mary and their son Billy, lived in Bolder.
With a shake of his head he looked at his wayward agent, paused and then really looked at him. Noticing for the first time the dark rings under his dull green eyes, the way his clothes seemed to hang on him, but what really caught and held his attention was the fact that Ezra was quiet. Too quiet. Ezra was famous for his one liners and usually had to have someone to tell the animated young man to shut up. Orrin realized that in the last few weeks Ezra hadn't spoken unless spoken to and he had meekly done as he was told. Ezra P. Standish never did anything without complaint. Ever.
Orrin Travis suddenly felt ashamed of himself as he realized just what he had taken Ezra away from. Somehow Josiah Sanchez and his adopted brothers had managed to give the Southerner the one thing, he craved above all things . . . acceptance and a family. And if he had read the long haired young man right . . . love.
"Ezra?" he said trying to get his attention.
"What?"
"Go home," he told him and felt an odd stinging his eyes as Ezra looked at him with questioning yet hopeful eyes. With a nod Orrin repeated the two words, "Go home."
"Is it over?" Ezra asked.
"Yes."
~/~/~
Ezra nodded his head and turned away. He walked slowly at first just incase he was dreaming, but as he neared the exit he was all but running. In his haste he barreled into to someone and sent them flying.
"I am so sor ... " he began to apologize only to recognize the person sprawled on the floor. "Nathan?"
"Ezra?!" Nathan said and jumped to his feet and hugged the younger man.
"Are you all right?" Ezra asked. "How's Vin?"
"I'm fine. And you?" he asked as he noticed the bloody sleeve.
The Southerner barely even looked at his arm. "It's fine. How's Vin?"
Nathan grinned and replied, "Besides missing you . . . he's good."
Ezra returned his grin and asked, "Can . . . can I bum a ride?"
"Sure, come on," he said then introduced Ezra to his partner Eddie.
Since Nathan was still on duty Ezra had him dropped him off at the end of their road and he walked the rest of the way. Stepping into the yard he came to a stop as he noticed Vin sitting at the kitchen table. "Oh how I missed you," Ezra whispered and nearly jumped out of his skin and went for his gun as he heard someone say.
"You'd probably get a better reaction if you went inside," Chris told him as he silently came up behind him.
"You scared me," he said with a grin and replaced his gun. "Look Chris I wanted to apologize for bringing all this trouble to your family," Ezra told him right off.
Chris held out his hand and said, "Apology accepted. Welcome home, Ezra."
Ezra took the offered hand and smiled. "Thanks," he said even though it didn't seem to be enough, but it was all he could manage at the moment.
The blonde man grabbed his shoulders and shoved him toward the kitchen door. "Now get your ass in there and make my brother happy," he order with a grin.
The Southerner didn't need to be told twice. Stepping into the kitchen him and Vin both froze for a few seconds then Ezra whispered his name propelling the taller man into action. Ezra staggered back a couple of steps as Vin threw himself at him wrapping both his arms and legs around him.
"Ezra," Vin sighed and buried his face in Ezra's neck.
After a moment Vin lowered his legs and they both grinned, big silly, happy grins at each other. Ezra planted wet kisses all over Vin's face.
"Don't ever leave me like that again," the Texan told him.
"Never," Ezra reassured him and was about to lay claim to his lips when the others stepped into the room.
"Ezra!" Josiah cried and enveloped both men in a big bear hug. "Are you all right, son?"
"Welcome home," JD said and slapped him on the back before he hugged them as well.
Not one to be left out Buck stepped up to them and wrapped his arms around them as well. "It's about damned time you came home."
Chris stood at the door with a big grin on his face. Happy that his family was together once again.
Ezra had never been much on public displays of affection and pushed away from them needing a little space. And some air.
"Is it over?" Vin asked.
"The suspect is dead as is the shooter so yes, it's over. I'm free."
"So your staying?"
"For as long as you want me to."
Vin grinned and said, "Well, hell, Ez in that case you'll never leave."
"Sounds good to me," Ezra told him and pulled him closer. As he got lost in Vin's blue eyes, he barely heard Josiah ask him if he was hungry.
"Come on, Josiah let's go finish that movie," Buck told his older brother.
"But . . ."
"Ezra and Vin want to spend some time alone," JD said and helped Buck push the older man out of the room with Chris following them.
"Your staying with me tonight," Vin told him as he took his hand began leading him toward his room.
~/~/~
Once inside the room Vin found himself pressed up against the closed door and shivered as he heard the lock slide into place. He then groaned in disappointment as Ezra stepped back and crossed over to the bed. His disappointment was short lived as Ezra began to undress.
Vin fell to the floor and yanked his boots off. Glancing up he bite his lip as he saw the proof of Ezra's desire tented in his navy blue boxers. Vin took the offered hand and gasped as Ezra grabbed his shirt and ripped the snaps opened then pushed the shirt off his shoulders where it pooled at their feet. He moaned as those hands rubbed his chest. He reached to pull him closer only to have Ezra step back.
"You cut your hair," he said in surprise.
"Yeah, a couple of days ago." He held his breath as Ezra ran his fingers through his now short hair. What had once stretched past his shoulders now barely touched his collar.
Ezra grinned and cocked his head to the right and said, "I didn't think it was possible for you to look any sexier, but you do. I like your hair."
Vin blushed and took one of Ezra's hands and placed a kiss to its palm. Then pulled him closer and rammed his tongue deep into Ezra's mouth aching to taste as much of him as he could. Calm down, he told himself as he fought to hold onto his control. Vin groaned as Ezra pulled back and began kissing his way down Vin's chest. He nipped and licked each of his nipples before slowly working his way further down Vin's body. His knees threatened to buckle as he felt Ezra's tongue in his belly button.
With the last of his control he grabbed Ezra's head and pulled him to his feet. "Wait!" he pleaded in a breathless voice.
"Wait? Why?"
"I don't want to hurt ya Ez . . ."
"You're not going to hurt me, Vin," Ezra whispered in his ear. "But we can take a step back and slow things down if you want."
Vin ran his hands down Ezra's chest then up his back and pulled him closer. "Turn down the covers while I get the stuff," he told him.
Ezra nodded his head then promptly bit Vin lightly on the neck and stepped back.
The Texan hurried into the bathroom and grabbed a hand full of condoms and a tube of lube. Looking in the mirror Vin silently told himself, go slow and take your time. After taking several deep calming breathes he regained some of his control and walked back into the room. Stepping up to the bed Vin felt his breath lodged in his throat at the sight of Ezra spread out on his bed. He lovingly ran his gaze over every square inch of him. Looking at his face Vin didn't know whether to laugh or cry at seeing that Ezra had fallen asleep. Seeing the dark circles under his eyes had Vin realizing just how tired his lover was and he sat the items in his hand on the table beside the bed.
With a sigh he picked up Ezra's discarded clothes and frowned at the amount of blood he saw on one of the sleeves. Vin looked at the bandage on Ezra's arm and vowed no one would ever shoot him again. He threw the shirt in the trash and the pants in the hamper with his own dirty clothes. Stepping back into the room Vin planted a kiss on Ezra's forehead then headed for the door.
~/~/~
Buck looked up as Vin walked into the kitchen and frown. "Damn, Vin we're gonna have ta get you some vitamins."
"Vitamins? Why?"
"We're going to have to do something to improve your stamina," he told his younger brother.
Vin blushed and assured him, "There's nothing wrong with my stamina. I can go all night."
Buck nodded his head and asked, "Then what are ya doing down here?"
"Ezra fell asleep . . ."
"Damn this is worse than I thought," he interrupted. "You need to work on your technique."
"There ain't nothing wrong with my technique!" Vin told him.
"Then why'd Ezra fall asleep?"
"Gee, I don't know could it be maybe because he's tired," he quipped. "Look, you crazy son of a bitch, I just came to get Ezra a change of clothes."
Buck just laughed as Vin stormed out of the room. He was still in the kitchen when Vin returned a few minutes later, Buck didn't say a word just sadly shook his head.
"Buck . . ."
"I'm just teasing ya Vin!" Buck told him and then slapped him on the back. "Frustration can be a real bitch can't it," he stated. "You'd better get back up there before Ezra wakes up and finds you gone."
Vin grinned at him and said, "He's really home. Ezra came back just like he said he would. And he's all mine."
"He's lucky to have you," Buck told him with a smile.
~/~/~
Vin was still grinning as he stepped back into the room. After locking the door he laid Ezra's clothes on a near by chair then switched off the light. Pulling his jeans off he walked over to the bed, climbed in, and spooned up behind his better half then sighed at how contented he felt. Shifting a bit, he wedged one of his legs between Ezra's then drifted off to sleep.
Continues in Coming Together