Chapter 5: Mistakes
Series: Lessons in Love
Altnernate Universe Into The Fold
Ezra barely noticed that he was now alone with Vin. All he could think about was Vin's finger lightly tracing the jagged scar above his heart. He felt his heart begin to race and he barely heard Vin say.
"This one isn't as faded as the others. How long ago did it happen?" Vin asked. When the other man didn't answer he went on to say, "Tell me what happened Ez."
"I don't want to talk about it," he managed to say even though his attention was held by the pulse beating at the base of Vin's neck. Ezra swallowed hard as he realized how much he wanted to put his mark right there and make this man his. But what scared him even more was how much he wanted to confide in the Texan. Before Ezra could even process that thought he grabbed Vin's hand and shoved it away then jumped to his feet and walked away.
~/~/~
Vin narrowed his eyes as he watched his future lover walk away. Part of him wanted to run and throw Ezra to the ground and kiss and love him until neither of them could move. Another part wanted to grab him and shake him for making something that should have been so simple so difficult. While yet, another part just wanted to simply enjoy the view. Which he did for all of two minutes then casually got to his feet and followed him.
He came up behind Ezra as quietly as he could and wished he knew who the son of bitch was that hurt the man so bad. Vin wanted to wrap his hands around the bastard's throat and choke him. Ezra was a deep man and felt things to the core of his being. That's how he loved and hurt. Looking at him now Vin decided that he'd take Ezra any way he could get him. Scars and all. For however long it lasted.
"What do you want?" Ezra asked as he turned around.
"How'd you know I was here? I didn't make a sound," Vin said. "Is that part of your Federal training?"
"Military."
"You were in the military," he said with a grin. "What branch?"
"Air Force."
"Army."
"You never answered my question," Ezra reminded him. "What do you want?"
"Besides you naked under me in my bed? Or maybe me naked under you? Hell, there doesn't even need to be bed . . . so long as we're both naked," Vin replied in a husky voice. He grinned when he saw Ezra blush. "Did I embarrass you?" he asked. "Sorry, but I would have sworn a man as sexy as you would be used flirting."
"Is that what you're doing? Flirting?"
"Well, hell, Ez, I've learned that you don't get much by being subtle," the Texan told him. "Keeping that in mind do you want to know what I really want?"
Ezra nodded his head.
"One night. That's all," Vin said as he took a step closer. "You've gotten in my blood Ezra and the more I'm around you the deeper you get. I figure if I had one long hot sweaty night I could get you out of my system."
"Sorry, but I'm not into casual flings . . ."
"There wouldn't be anything casual about it," he whispered and closed the distance between them. Leaning closer Vin cupped the side of Ezra's face in his hand then lowered his head and traced those tempting lips with his tongue. "Open up Ezra . . . and let me in," he pleaded in a husky voice then shuddered as he felt Ezra's tongue slip into his mouth. Vin wrapped his arm around Ezra's waist and pulled him closer deepening the kiss trying to taste every inch. Pulling back just a fraction Vin sucked in some oxygen then returned to Ezra's lips. Being careful of his back Vin began to ease them to the ground making sure Ezra was on top. Never once breaking the kiss. Trapping the shorter man's legs within his own Vin began to gently rock against him.
Vin groaned as Ezra pulled back and began kissing his way down his jaw. He moaned deeply in his throat as Ezra found that sensitive spot where his shoulder and neck met. "Ezra," he panted then arched as he felt him licking his nipples. Vin grabbed Ezra by the hair and pulled him back up so he could kiss him. "See Ezra," he said then took his ear lobe in his mouth, "there's nothing casual about this." Vin could tell the exact second his words penetrated Ezra's passion fogged brain and could have bitten his own tongue off as Ezra stiffened then jerked back and got to his feet. Then with a sad shake of his head Ezra walked away.
"Shit, shit, shit," he muttered and banged his clinched fists on the ground then jumped to his feet and raced after Ezra. "Ezra wait!" Vin hollered.
~/~/~
Ezra heard Vin call his name and picked up his pace until he was practically running. He hurried past a startled Nathan and snatched up his shirt.
"What's the hell, is the matter with you?" Vin asked him and tried to grab his arm, but Ezra jerked away from him.
"I will not be manhandled."
"Oh, yes, you will! And I'm gonna be the man that gonna handles you!"
"You?! Handle me?!"
"That's right! Me! You've met your match and his name is Vin Tanner!"
"For one night," Ezra reminded him then grinned as he saw Vin flinch.
"Would one night with me be so bad?" Vin asked in whisper.
YES! His mind screamed. One night wouldn't be nearly enough. Ezra was saved from answering as Josiah walked up to them.
"What's going on?" Josiah asked.
"Ask your brother," Ezra said then walked over to the horses.
~/~/~
Vin's night came sooner than he ever thought it would. He'd stepped out of the house intending to go to the barn when he heard cursing and went to investigate. Vin had to smile as he saw Ezra sitting on the bunkhouse floor sucking his thumb. "Are you okay?" he asked as he stepped through the crooked door. "Do ya need some help?"
"I'm fine. The damned door fell off its hinge and when I tried to fix it I hit my thumb," Ezra told him. The Southerner had there for close to two months and was fitting rather well. Of course, the fact that he spent most of his time in the study and the bunkhouse probably helped. In order, to give the Southerner some privacy the others decided to let him use the bunkhouse as his living quarters.
"What are ya doing on the floor?"
"After I banged my finger, I dropped the hammer and then just sat waiting for it to stop hurting."
"Well, if you hold the door I'll fix the hinge," Vin offered.
"Deal," Ezra said getting to his feet. Between the two of them it didn't take them any time to fix the door.
"Shit," Vin swore then stuck his finger in his mouth.
"What?"
"I got a splinter."
"Come here and I'll see if I can't get it out for you," Ezra offered.
Vin could hardly believe that Ezra was volunteering to touch him. Especially since Ezra had been avoiding him the past week. Not wanting to give him time to change his mind Vin hurried after him then shivered as Ezra took his hand and held it closer to the lamp so he could see better.
He's so beautiful, he thought to himself as he looked at Ezra's profile. Vin stepped closer and lowered his head and deeply breathed in Ezra's scent. His eyes drifted shut at the rush he felt.
"Got it," Ezra said a little breathlessly. "Vi. . ."
Vin pressed his lips to Ezra's and stopped whatever he was going to say. He groaned as he felt Ezra's tongue battling with his for dominance. Vin wedged a leg between Ezra's and began to rub against him. The Texan was beginning to tremble with his need as they each worked the other's shirts off. Vin was a hare's breath from losing all control. Gripping Ezra's waist in his hands Vin lifted the Southerner then moaned as Ezra wrapped his legs around him. With his hands under Ezra's ass Vin headed for the bedroom.
He didn't stop until his knees hit the bed. With Ezra's legs still wrapped around him Vin feel on the bed and grinned as they bounced. Not wanting Ezra to change his mind Vin bombarded him with sensations by touching, rubbing, pinching, and licking everything and anything he could touch. Leaning down Vin paid special attention to the jagged scar above Ezra's heart.
"Vin," Ezra said in a breathless voice.
"Do you want me to stop?" Vin asked with a ragged breath. Please say no, he silently pleaded.
"No, just . . . slow down," the Southerner told him. "It's . . . it's been awhile."
"Don't worry I won't hurt you." After quickly stripping them both of their remaining clothes Vin stretched out on top of Ezra and shuddered as their naked overheated flesh met for the first time. Spreading those muscular legs Vin reached down and eased one, two, and then three fingers into Ezra's opening. Needing so badly to make Ezra his Vin quickly put on the condom, lifted Ezra's legs, entered him, and immediately began to move and quickly found his release.
As he collapsed on top of Ezra, he heard him whimper, not in pleasure, but pain. Vin pulled back and paled as he saw a small amount of blood on the condom as he withdrew. "Ezra," he said in a choked voice then reached out to touch him only to have him flinch away from him. Vin felt as if someone had ripped his heart out at Ezra's response. He watched in shock as Ezra got up and went into the bathroom. Not knowing what to say or do Vin just sat there then finally removed the condom and threw it away.
Hearing the door open had Vin jumping to his feet and would have taken Ezra in arms, but Ezra flinched again. "Don't do that!" he cried. "I'm so sorry Ezra. I didn't m..mean to h..hurt you," Vin told him with tears in his eyes.
"It's okay. I understand," Ezra whispered. "But I think maybe you should go."
"No! I..I don't want to go, Ezra," he said as one lone tear ran down his face. "Please let me stay. Let me just hold you."
The Southerner raised a tentative hand to wiped the tear away. "Don't cry, Vin. It was an accident. I know you didn't mean to," Ezra told him.
Vin leaned into Ezra's touch and stepped closer. "Let me stay," he pleaded. When Ezra nodded Vin, led him toward the bed. "I can make it up to you Ezra if you let me . . ."
"No!"
"Not tonight," he promised. "I just want to hold you for the rest of the night. That's all." Vin climbed into the bed and held the covers open for him. As soon as the smaller man laid down Vin wrapped his arms around him and settled Ezra's stiff body against his chest. "Relax Ezra, your s..safe with me," Vin told him with a catch in his voice.
The Texan ran a soothing hand up and down Ezra's back. He felt tears sting his eyes and before he knew it sobs were racking his slender frame.
~/~/~
Ezra raised his head and pressed several kisses to Vin's quivering lips and then rolled over and gathered Vin in his arms and held him until his tears stopped. "Vin don't. Please don't cry. Calm down," he whispered over and over again.
"I'm so sorry Ezra. I . . . I didn't mean to . . ."
"I know, Vin, I know. It was an accident," he said and tightened his hold him.
"I'm supposed to be c..comforting you not the other way around," Vin said as he buried his face in Ezra's neck.
Ezra shifted and pushed one of his legs between Vin's and whispered, "We'll comfort each other."
"Ezra," he moaned.
He felt his unsatisfied body respond to Vin's and took a deep calming breath. "Just ignore it and it'll go away. Now go to sleep," Ezra told him. After a few minutes Vin did just that. Now that the initial shock was over Ezra realized that Vin hadn't hurt him as much as he first thought. Sure he was a little sore, but other than that he was fine. Ezra shifted and felt Vin's arms tighten around him and he smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of Vin's head then he too drifted off to sleep.
When Ezra awoke the next morning, he squinted at the clock and swore as he saw it was only seven. Damn, he hated when he woke up before nine. He then frowned as he tried to remember what had awakened him. Then he felt it. His bladder was screaming for release. But trying to extract himself from Vin proved difficult for every time Ezra moved Vin tightened his hold.
Finally he managed to sit up and was about to stand when an arm wrapped itself around his waist.
"Ez, where ya going?" a sleepy Vin asked.
"Bathroom."
"'Kay."
Ezra got to his feet and went to the bathroom. When he returned, he found himself mesmerized by the sight of Vin sprawled across his bed and felt his body respond. Not really trusting himself not to behave Ezra quickly dressed and headed for the house.
Just as he reached for the door JD walked out. "Morning," he mumbled.
"Morning Ezra. You're up kinda early, aren't cha?" JD asked with a grin.
"Extremely."
"Well I'm off to meet Casey. Maybe I'll bring her over later and you two can meet."
"I'd like that," Ezra said then continued on inside. Once in the house he headed straight for the study.
~/~/~
Vin jumped and suddenly sat up then groaned as last night came back to him with the velocity of two-by-four. "Ezra?" he called out. Throwing back the covers Vin froze as he saw a drop of blood on the sheets. Blinking back tears, he reached for his clothes where they were neatly folded at the end of the bed. Once dressed Vin all but ran to the house. Please don't let him be gone, he prayed.
Stepping into the kitchen, he began to panic when he didn't see Ezra. "Where is he?" his brothers looked at him with a frown on his face. "Ezra? Where is he?" he clarified.
"In the study," Josiah told him.
"Thank you Lord," Vin whispered then headed down the hall. How long he stood with his head pressed against the closed door Vin didn't know. After a while he tapped on the door to the study and walked in. "How are you Ezra?" he asked unable to look him in the eye.
"I'm fine," Ezra told him. "And you?"
Vin cleared his throat and shrugged. "I'll understand if you don't want anything to do with me from now on," he went on to say.
"Vin . . ."
"After what happened I wouldn't blame you for h..hating me," he said.
"Vin . . ."
"Not that it's any excuse, but I wanted you for so long and when I felt you around me I l..lost control," Vin told him. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Look at me Vin," Ezra said.
He slowly shook his head, no.
"Vin . . ."
"You don't have to worry Ez . . . I mean Ezra. I'm not gonna touch you no more," Vin said and glanced up then began backing away as Ezra got to his feet, walked around the desk, and toward him.
"Vin, it's okay . . ."
Vin didn't stop until his back touched the wall behind him. "I've had my one night and I don't want another," he said in a rush and silently called himself a coward. Ezra stopped in his tracks and Vin could have cried as he watched the guards go up in those green eyes. I'm so sorry, he silently said.
"Fine," Ezra said in voice devoid of all emotions and held out his hand. "No hard feelings?"
His hand rose of its own accord and took the offered hand and relished the jolt of desire that shot up his arm. "N..no hard feelings," he finally agreed. Vin slowly removed his hand then left. Out in the hall with the closed door between them Vin once again rested his forehead on the door and called himself a fool. This is the right thing to do, he told himself, he's been hurt enough and I don't want to hurt him any more than I already have.
Vin flinched as he heard the words fool and you should have known better uttered from the other side of the door. Not ready to face what his guilt made him do or the pain he caused Vin turned on his heels and ran from the house.
Continues in Getting It Right