From Dreams to Reality
Disclaimer: Not mine and no money is being made.
Genre: ATF - Thanks goes out to Mog for creating such a wonderful world and allowing us to play in it!
Notes: This is the story that was submitted in 'My Seducer II', a Magnificent 7 Zine created by Lumina
Ezra's eyes fluttered for a moment before he actually managed to open them. Feeling more comfortable than he could ever remember, he snuggled closer to his sleeping companion and sighed.
Sleeping companion?
It took a moment for his sluggish mind to focus, but once it did his eyes widened in disbelief. As he sat straight up, sleep was driven from his body and he promptly fell off the bed. Swallowing hard, Ezra peered over the side of the bed and began to mutter, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." Gathering his clothes, he crawled into the bathroom and quickly dressed. Pressing his ear to the door, Ezra strained to hear any kind of movement. When he didn't, he opened the door and froze as he came face to face with a very naked Buck Wilmington.
"Mornin' Ez," Buck mumbled and pushed past him so he could use the bathroom. "Sorry if I startled you. I always sleep in the nude. Well, except during the winter," he rattled on. After washing his hands, he called out, "Hey, Ez, make us some coffee would you?"
Ezra stumbled into the kitchen and started the coffee. Maybe he won't remember, he reasoned with himself. After all, I don't really remember much, he tried to convince himself.
"What all did we drink last night?" Buck asked, as flopped down at the kitchen table.
"A little bit of everything," he replied, but was careful to keep his distance.
"Where's JD?"
"With Casey, I think."
"What happened last night?"
At those words, Ezra's world suddenly tilted, but he pushed the feelings away.
"You don't remember either?"
Ezra dropped into a chair at the other end of the table and said, "Well, I remember us leaving The Saloon together. When we got here, I think you dared me to do some tequila shots with beer chasers. After that, everything is a bit hazy."
"Yeah, 'kay, some of that sounds familiar," Buck said with a frown. "Wait. I think it's starting to come back to me. We either passed out or fell asleep on the floor. I have no idea what happened after that," he confessed with a shrug.
"Maybe it'll come back to us," Ezra suggested, then got to his feet. After pouring Buck a cup of coffee, he said, "Well, I'm gonna go home and shower, then go back to bed. I'll see you on Monday."
"'Kay. Wait!" Buck hollered. "Aren't you comin' out to Chris's tomorrow?"
Shit, he silently swore. Fighting to maintain control of his emotions, Ezra kept his back turned. "I guess I'll stumble out that way."
(~)
Buck found himself watching Ezra's ass as he walked away and caught himself just before he whistled. Rubbing his tired eyes, he couldn't help but feel as though he was forgetting something vital to him. With the heels of his hands covering his eyes, Buck thought back to last night, trying to pinpoint what that "something vital" might be. Sighing in frustration, he ran his fingers through his hair and grimaced at the headache he could feel forming. Finishing his coffee, Buck got to his feet and headed back to his room intending to take a shower, but never made it past the bed. Shedding his jeans, Buck climbed back in bed. Grabbing the extra pillow, he sighed as he smelled Ezra there and drifted off to sleep.
(~)
Ezra groaned as he let himself into his apartment. "Oh god, Ezra, how could you?" he asked himself. Closing his eyes he slid to the floor and was immediately back in Buck's apartment…
He shook his head as the tequila scorched a path down his throat to his stomach. After blinking his eyes several times, Ezra was finally able to focus on the sexy man in front of him. His face felt numb and he mumbled, "Buck, I can't feel my lips."
Buck crawled over to him and kissed him. "Did ya feel that?"
Ezra shook his no, but said, "I think so."
The other man inched into his lap and pressed closer, then whispered, "Well, I best try that again." Buck took Ezra's head between his hands, lowered his mouth, and kissed him. Their mouths were fused together so tightly it was hard to tell one from another. "Oh god, Ezra," he moaned as began undressing him. "One night," he begged. "Just one night, that's all I ask. Please let me love you for one night."
The Southerner gently eased out from under the larger man, got to his feet and held a hand out to Buck, then lead him to the bedroom. "You can have as many nights as you want," he assured him and began removing his clothes.
"I've wanted you for so long," Buck whispered, as he ran his hands all over him.
Ezra shuddered in pleasure at the feel of this man's hands playing over his skin. He let out a ragged moan as lips latched onto one of his nipples, bringing it painfully to life before doing the same to the other. Tangling his fingers in Buck's ebony hair, Ezra pressed him closer, wanting… needing more. His heart slammed into his ribs as he felt Buck reach between his legs and quickly prepare him. They both gasped as Buck made them one.
Ezra took Buck's face in his hands and said…
"No!" Ezra cried and jumped to his feet. "Oh, my god," he swore, and began to panic.
The first thing he had to do was calm down. After taking several deep breaths, Ezra started to put things into perspective. Now, what exactly did Buck say this morning? he asked himself. Ezra suddenly stopped dead and said, "He doesn't remember." Then he frowned and muttered, "How could he not remember? Should I be insulted?"
Tearing his clothes off, Ezra left a scattering of clothing in his wake before stepping into the shower and pausing as he washed his hair. "Just my luck," he said. "I finally make love to the man and he doesn't remember." Ezra didn't know if he should laugh or cry, so he did neither and pushed the feelings aside.
Rinsing off, he stepped out of the shower, dried off and caught his reflection in the mirror, noticing for the first time the marks of passion on his neck and chest. One in particular held his attention. Lifting his hand, Ezra gently touched the dark mark above his heart. With a heartfelt sigh, he walked out and went to bed.
The next day, as he drove up in front of Chris's, he noticed a strange vehicle parked in his usual spot and started cursing. Ezra was still cursing as he walked up to the house. Hearing the door open, he looked up and stopped as he saw Buck headed for him. Ezra was bombarded with a variety of emotions, apprehension being the front-runner, although his heart did lighten at the mere sight of Buck.
"It's about time you showed," he said, "I was starting to get worried."
"Remind me to never drink tequila with you again," Ezra intoned in a neutral voice, even though his heart was in turmoil as he tried not to read too much into what Buck said. "Who's that?" he asked, indicating the people standing next to the judge, as he and Buck stepped closer to the screened-in front porch.
"Louisa Parker."
"And the others?"
"Oh, just the Governor and a few of his aides," Buck told him.
"Just the Governor, he says," Ezra muttered under his breath.
"He's up for re-election and some of his aides have been threatened, especially his public relations coordinator."
"And that would be Ms. Parker."
"Yep," Buck replied with a wide grin. "The Judge wants us to keep an unofficial eye on them."
Ezra heard the obvious interest in Buck's voice and recognized that all too familiar gleam in his blue eyes. Why can't you ever look at me like that? Ezra silently questioned.
(~)
Within a week, Buck and Louisa were lovers. A week later, they were practically living together. Once the threat was taken care of, Buck had requested some time off and was in the office tying up some loose ends. He'd also been hoping to see Ezra and was disappointed to hear that the Southerner was about to go undercover. Buck hadn't seen Ezra for close to a week and had to admit that he missed the younger man more than he thought he should. Much more. Plus, he still had that nagging feeling that he was forgetting something.
"Buck!" the object of his thoughts said in surprise.
"Hey, Ez!" Buck said, with a happy smile. "I was beginning to think I wouldn't see ya. How are ya?"
"I'm about to go under on a new case."
"Yeah, Chris was telling me about that."
"How are you?"
"Great. And you?"
"I'm good."
Buck didn't believe him, simply because Ezra's dull green eyes were a dead giveaway. Usually, Ezra's eyes danced with life. Another reason was the faint smudge of circles Buck saw outlining those eyes. "Ezra, are you sure you're all right?"
"Yeah. I'm sure," he said, even though he wasn't. He had an uneasy feeling about this case, a feeling that had grown in the past few days. Running an unsteady hand through his hair, Ezra realized that he didn't want to go undercover without having told Buck the truth about their night together. Just in case.
Clearing his throat, Ezra began, "Buck, there's something I have to tell you-"
"Okay, but let me go first," Buck interrupted. "I wasn't gonna tell anyone this yet, but I just gotta tell someone."
Ezra held his breath.
"I'm gonna ask Louisa to marry me."
"That's great, Buck. Congratulations," he said without missing a beat, even though his heart was breaking.
"Thanks, Ezra. It means a lot to have your approval," Buck stated with a smile, but with a shadow clouding his usually lively blue eyes. "So what did you want to tell me?"
With a heartfelt sigh, he tried to decide what to do. On one hand, Ezra didn't like keeping something this important from Buck. But then again, he didn't want to ruin Buck's chance at happiness. However, that shadow had Ezra thinking that maybe, just maybe, Buck wasn't as ready for this next step in his life as he'd like Ezra to believe.
"Ezra? Is something wrong?"
"No, but what I'm about to tell you may come as a shock," he replied. Taking a deep breath, Ezra looked directly at Buck and asked, "Do you remember the night we got drunk?"
"Yeah."
"We made love."
"W- what?"
He couldn't do it. He just couldn't do it, especially given the fact that Buck still didn't remember. How could he spring something like this on him, and then leave to go undercover? Now just wasn't the time.
"I'm pregnant, Buck, and you're the father," Ezra told him with a big grin.
"Damn, Ezra!" Buck cried. "You almost had me there!" The older man grabbed him, pulled him close, and gave him a fierce hug.
Ezra didn't know what to say or do with his hands, so he returned Buck's hug then stepped back. Why does this feel like the end? he thought as he felt tears sting his eyes. "Well, I gotta go spend the taxpayers' money," he said and made to walk away, only to stop and turn back. "Look, Buck, I wish you luck."
"Thanks, Ez. I… I appreciate that."
"And if you ever need to t- talk, then give me a call. Okay?"
Buck nodded his head and bit his tongue to keep from calling out to Ezra. He felt the icy hand of fear grab his heart and took a step to follow his friend, then stopped. We made love. He repeated Ezra's words in his head. If only that were true, Buck thought to himself. He felt a warmth invade his body at the idea. Closing his eyes, Buck felt a memory tease his brain. It was right there. He saw a flash of bodies tangled together and-
He jumped as someone touched his arm. Jerking back to the present, he groaned as the memory disappeared.
"Buck, are you all right?" Chris asked him.
"I don't know, Chris," Buck replied, with a shake of his head. "I just don't know."
(~)
Two weeks later, Buck had just stepped out of the shower only to quickly grab the phone as it began to ring. "Hello?"
"Where the hell have you been?" he heard Chris bellow, and he jerked the phone away from his ear.
"Nowhere. I've been right here," he replied. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, I see. You have her now, so you don't give a shit about the rest of us anymore. Is that it?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I am not in the mood for this shit, Buck! I left a message with her!"
Buck was starting to get scared. He felt that same icy hand grip his heart as he did the last time he saw Ezra. "I never got any message. Just tell me what happened?"
"He nearly died, Buck. We… we nearly lost him," Chris said, with a catch in his throat.
The surveillance expert was almost afraid to ask, but knew he had to. "Who?"
"Ezra. He was shot three times," his boss told him.
Buck closed his eyes and slid to the floor as he legs gave out on him. "He asked for you. I thought I'd give you one last try," he heard Chris say. He couldn't catch his breath and feared he was going to pass out.
"I didn't know," he said, with tears in his eyes. "Is… is he gonna be all right?"
"You know Ezra. He always lands on his feet."
"Are you at the hospital now? Can I talk to him?"
"Yes, I'm at the hospital, and no, you cannot talk to him. If you want to explain why you deserted him, then you get your ass down here and do it in person!"
"I didn't know!" Buck cried. "God, Chris, I swear I didn't. She never told me," he pleaded, then tried to gain some kind of control. "I'll be there as soon as I can. I have to take care of something here first," he told Chris in a cold voice, then hung up the phone.
Closing his eyes, Buck swore and asked himself, Why? Why wouldn't Louisa tell me something as important as this? He knew things had been strained between them the last couple of days, and truth be told, he was just realizing exactly what kind of mistake he'd made getting involved with her. Especially since he didn't love her like he should.
Getting slowly to his feet, Buck knew that this was the reason he'd been looking for to finally be able to walk away from Louisa. All he'd needed was something that would bring all his doubts together and allow him to see things as they truly are. Walking into his room, he pulled a suitcase out from under the bed and began to pack. What didn't fit in the case he stuffed into plastic bags. He grabbed everything he saw. Hearing someone at the door, he snatched up the bags and the case and stepped back in the living room, dumping them on the floor.
Without a word, Buck walked up to Louisa, took her keys, removed his, then handed them back. As he opened his mouth, she hestitately said, "Look, Buck, I don't really know how to say this, other than to just do it. So here goes, I've been offered a job in Washington that's just too good to pass up."
"I don't give a shit where you go so long as you get the hell out of here." Buck placed his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Get the hell out," Buck told her. "I don't know what I ever even saw in you."
"Buck, what's going on?" Louisa asked and took a step closer, only to stop at the cold look he sent her.
"When were you gonna tell me about Ezra?"
"Oh, that."
"He nearly d-" Buck couldn't bring himself to say the word. "How could you?" he whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Buck. Just after Chris called, I got the call from Washington."
"I can understand your excitement, but these men are my family! You should have told me!"
"I know, and I am truly sorry," Louisa told him. "Is he going to be all right?"
Buck nodded his head and said, "Yeah, but Chris said it was close."
"I'm sure he'll be fine."
"I hope so," he whispered, as he realized that he didn't know what he would do if Ezra wasn't. Feeling Louisa's eyes on him, Buck turned and asked, "What?" Then just as he thought she wouldn't answer, she did.
"What is it about these men?"
"I told you, they're my family."
"Let me be a little more specific," Louisa said. "What is it about Ezra?"
"Ezra?" Buck repeated to buy some time. "Hell, who can explain him?"
"You love him, don't you?" she stated, looking into his eyes, while her own narrowed as if something had occurred to her.
Buck was unaware that a warm glow appeared in his eyes as he spoke of Ezra, a glow that seemed to come from deep within him. "I told you he's like family-"
"No, Buck, it's more than that. Isn't it?" Louisa pressed.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're in love with him."
"Wh- what?" Buck didn't like where this conversation was going. He didn't want to discuss his feelings for Ezra . . . espeically with Louisa! No, he shook his head, whatever ever he felt for Ezra was between them and had nothing to do with Louisa
"There's this light that appears in your eyes when you speak of him, when you're around him. I didn't realize just what that light meant. Until now," Louisa told him.
"Louisa-"
"It's okay, Buck," she said. "Don't worry about me. As fun as this was, you and I both know that it wouldn't last. I don't love you the way you deserve to be loved."
"I'm not sure what I feel about Ezra."
"Yes, you are. You love him."
(~)
Buck thought of what Louisa told him as he hurried across town. Did he love Ezra? He wasn't really sure. All he did know was that when Chris told him that Ezra nearly died, he felt like he might join him. Buck couldn't ever remember being so frightened before.
Upon reaching the hospital, Buck's long legs made short work of the distance between him and Ezra. Seeing the others standing outside his door had Buck hesitating for just a moment as a ball of fear settled in the pit of his stomach. "What's going on?"
"The doctor's with him," JD explained.
"It's about time you showed up, Bucklin," Vin said, then slapped him on the back.
"Yeah, well, I had to take care of something first," he told them, exchanging glances with Chris. Namely Louisa. "I'm sorry, guys. I let you down."
"It's okay, Buck," Josiah told him and gave him one of his bear hugs. "Welcome back."
"Thanks, Josiah," Buck mumbled as he returned the big guy's hug. God, he didn't realize how much he missed these guys. Except for JD, he hadn't seen much of the others in the last couple of months. "How is he?" he finally allowed himself to ask.
"He's gonna be fine," Nathan reassured him. "The gunshot wounds weren't that bad. They bled more than anything. Ezra had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic-"
"Bad?" Chris interrupted with a snort. "That's putting it kinda mild. Hell, the man nearly died. Twice!"
Buck didn't want to hear that. He didn't want to hear how Ezra had almost died. That Ezra might have died leaving him alone. "I don't understand. He's been operated on before and didn't have any problems. So why now?"
"Well, now you know Ezra doesn't like to go to the hospital, much less being put under, and was fighting both pretty hard. He absolutely refused any kind of painkiller."
"Plus you and Josiah weren't here," Chris pointed out.
The mustached man flinched, and for the first time noticed the bandage around Josiah's leg.
"None of us could get through to him. The doctors don't know if it was a combination of the blood loss and the agitated state he was in, but he flatlined. Once in the emergency room and once while they operated on him," Nathan told him.
Buck should have been here. Dammit, he would have gotten through to Ezra. He wouldn't have let him almost d- No! He shook his head. No, that wasn't right. He had no right to blame the others because he wasn't there. He wasn't there.
They all looked up as the doctor stepped from the room.
"How is he?"
"Well?"
"The six men crowded around the doctor, each impatiently demanding to know their seventh's condition."
"Mr. Standish is recovering very nicely. All his vitals were good."
"Any fever?" Nathan asked.
"No."
"What about swelling around the wound?" Nathan wanted to be sure.
"No," the doctor replied with a reassuring smile. "In fact, barring complications, Mr. Standish should be able to go home in about a week." The doctor then jumped as he received six very hearty slaps on the shoulder from six very relieved men.
Buck breathed a sigh of relief and followed the others. Stepping into the room, he came to a stop when he saw the bandages wrapped around Ezra's upper chest and another wrapped around his upper thigh. "Did he pop his shoulder out?" he couldn't help but ask. Sometimes it seemed as if Ezra only had to move to dislocate his shoulder.
Josiah laughed and said, "Yeah, but they couldn't strap it to his chest because of his other wounds."
Stepping closer to the bed, Buck gingerly touched the bandaged thigh and asked, "What happened?"
"One of the buyers apparently shot up right before the drop and started hallucinating. He opened fire on everyone. The one good thing is that he killed his boss and a few of his co-workers as well. The bad thing is that he shot a few agents, before Ezra took him out," Josiah told him.
"You ought to have seen it, Buck," JD said, with wide eyes. "It was utter chaos. I tell ya, it's a good thing Ezra had his vest on."
"I'm sorry, guys. I should have been there. I should have been here," Buck said and dropped into the empty chair beside Ezra's bed. Gently picking up Ezra's hand, he held it in both of his.
"It's not your fault, Buck," Chris told him from where he sat on the other side of the bed.
"I shoulda-"
"You weren't supposed to be there," the team leader pointed out to him, "so you can't blame yourself for that. And yes, before you say anything, you should have been here, but you weren't and you can't change that, either."
"But-"
"But nothing!" Chris said in a loud voice, only to be told to shush by the others. "You've dealt with the problem, now deal with the consequences." The blonde got to his feet and walked over to the window. "I'm not saying we're happy that you weren't there, but we understand-"
"I didn't need or want your approval!" Buck snapped and tightened his hold on Ezra's hand.
Chris ignored that statement for now. "Now, as I was saying, we understood. Especially Ezra."
Buck frowned at him. "What the hell are you talking about? Why especially Ezra?"
Chris's eyes widened and he quickly shook his head then appeared to be having a mental argument with himself.
(~)
Ezra could hear voices, but couldn't understand what they were saying. He felt his left hand being held while someone played with his fingers. The hand tightened and the voices got louder. Buck? Was that Buck's voice he heard? Hearing Chris's voice, he tried to focus and managed to say, "Do you mind?"
"Ezra," Buck said, as those green eyes fluttered open. "How ya feelin'?"
"Now look what you did," Nathan began to fuss. "Now he's gonna be crabby."
"Hell, Nathan, you know Ez is always crabby," Vin said, with a grin.
"Yeah, this just gives him an excuse," JD added, with a laugh.
"Leave 'im alone. After everything he's been through, he has a right to be crabby," Josiah defended him.
Ezra squinted at each of the men in turn. Finally, he looked to his left and questioned, "Buck?"
"Sorry it took so long for me to get here, Ezra," Buck apologized. "How ya feelin'?"
At first Ezra thought he was dreaming, but the warmth spreading throughout his body at the simple joining of their hands told him that Buck was real. Very real. Maybe too real. Ezra wasn't sure if could maintain the air of detachment he so desperately needed so he tried to remove his hand, but Buck only secured his hold. "Have you come to liberate me?"
"No. Now answer the question," he said, with a grin.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes," six men said.
"Well, if you insist," Ezra began, and then paused as if to determine exactly. "I feel like I've been shot three times. How the hell do you think I feel?" Then, while Buck started laughing, he snatched his hand away. "Can I go now?"
Before the others could say anything, a nurse walked in. "Good afternoon, Mr. Standish. It's good to see you finally awake. How are you feeling?"
Ezra frowned at her, totally ignoring the pleasantries. "Have you come to remove this infernal IV?"
"No, sir, I haven't. I've come to give you an injection for the pain," she explained and showed him the hypodermic needle, causing Ezra to cringe.
"What are you going to do with that?"
"Insert it in your IV."
"Can't I have a pill instead?"
"This works much faster."
"Isn't it an awful big dose?" he whined. "Are you sure that much is required?"
"It's what was prescribed by the doctor," she explained and removed the protective cover.
"You know what I think you should do?" The nurse darted him a glance but didn't respond. "You could at least hear me out," Ezra said.
"Mr. Standish, how many times have you been in this hospital?" she asked him.
Ezra just shrugged then turned away only to find himself looking into Buck's amused, yet understanding face. Well, I'm glad someone's enjoying themselves, he thought to himself.
"I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work. Now please let me do my job. After all, you're not the only patient I have to see to."
Ezra had never been one to beat a dead horse and knew when to admit defeat. However, he also knew when to change tactics. With a heartfelt sigh, he looked up at her, ignoring his co-workers, and with just the right amount of vulnerability, said, "You're right. I'm sorry. You do this everyday, but I do not. I… I don't care to be poked and prodded on. In fact, I find it very invasive. You're just doing your job and I… I apologize for being so difficult." Having said his piece, Ezra sighed once again, bit his lip, and closed his eyes as if resigned to his fate.
Buck had to bite the inside of his cheek as he watched the scene in front of him. Damn, but Ezra is good, he thought. It would have worked if not for Nathan.
"Don't you listen to him, ma'am," Nathan said. "He's just pulling your leg. Go ahead and give him the injection."
The nurse shrugged, and as she inserted the needle into the IV, said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Standish," then quickly left.
As soon as the door closed, those green eyes popped open and Ezra sent Nathan a "go to hell" look. "Thanks so much for your interference, Nathan. I don't know what I'd do without you," Ezra quipped.
"Just doing my job," Nathan replied with a grin.
"It was a good try though," Josiah said.
"If you could keep your ass out of trouble, then they wouldn't be on to all your tricks," Chris pointed out to him.
"This is hardly his fault!" Buck defended him.
"What the hell do you know? You weren't even there!" Chris countered.
Buck flinched and got to his feet.
Chris ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Look, Buck I wasn't placing the blame on you. Just stating the facts," the team leader said. "You weren't there, Buck. You do not know what happened."
"He's right, Buck," Ezra said. "You weren't there, but then again, you weren't scheduled to be. So let it go. Both of you." Ezra was starting to feel the effects of the injection and shook his head several times.
Buck nodded his head, and once again took Ezra's hand in his. Leaning over, he brushed the hair off his forehead, then said, "Just give into it, Ez. This is a battle you won't win."
"I… hate being… medicated," he said, as his eyes drifted shut.
Buck grinned as those eyes blinked open one last time. "If you guys want to go and get something to eat, I'll stay with him," he offered, as he sat back down. The others saw that Buck had everything under control and nodded their heads in agreement. As the others left, Buck looked at Ezra and sighed as he realized just how much he missed him over the last two months.
(~)
Over the next two days, Buck only left the hospital long enough to shower and change. The doctor had told them that Ezra should be released by the end of the week, and now Chris and Buck were arguing over where he was going to stay.
"He's going to the ranch, and that's final," Chris told him.
"Like hell! Ezra's coming home with me!" Buck told him right back.
Ezra started at that suggestion, and said, "I don't think so." He frowned at the hurt look in Buck's eyes and continued, "I have no wish to be a third wheel." Nor did he want Buck taking care of him out of guilt.
"Won't be no one there except you, me and JD," Buck said. "Louisa's gone."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know. Are you okay?" These replies were all standard and safe. Louisa's gone. Those two words almost made getting shot worth it. Buck was free! Now, all Ezra had to do was tell him the truth.
The other man looked at him in wonder, and said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't miss her at all. In fact, I don't think I ever loved her."
The Southerner felt hope flare within him at those words.
"So you'll come home with me, right?" Buck asked.
"I told you-" Chris started, only to have Buck cut him off.
"How about we let him decide?" Buck suggested, then looked at Ezra. "Do you want to come home with me, where you can sleep as late as you want? Or do you want to go home with Chris, who will wake you at dawn each morning?"
"He has a point."
"At least I have curtains on my windows," Chris reminded him, "and not sheets. Thin sheets."
"That's true."
"Hey, so long as the window's covered, I don't give a shit what it is," Buck argued. "So, what's it gonna be?"
Ezra looked at the both of them and knew without a doubt who he preferred to stay with, but didn't know if he was strong enough. Looking over at Josiah, he gave him the little boy look that always got him his way with the older man.
Josiah had been biting his tongue to keep from offering to have Ezra stay with him, and silently groaned as Ezra gave him "the look."
"You can stay with me, Ezra," he heard himself suggesting before he'd even made up his mind.
"Thank you. I accept," Ezra said, with a big smile.
"You're welcome, son," the older man said, with a smile of his own.
"You mean you'd rather stay with him than me?" Buck asked, his disappointment clearly heard.
"He only wants to stay with him because Josiah will let him do want he wants," Chris said.
"That's true," Buck agreed.
Josiah didn't like what they were saying. "Excuse me, but I can get him to do a hell of a lot more than either of you," he boasted.
"Only because you spoil him," both Chris and Vin said.
"I do not. He's already spoiled," Josiah pointed out.
"Excuse me! But I am in this room. I will not have you discussing me as if I wasn't!" Ezra told them.
"Now, Ezra, don't you go getting agitated," Buck warned him. "You remember what happened last time you did?"
"I'm not in an operating room now, am I?"
"I'm glad you brought that up," Buck told him and stepped closer to the bed. "Just what the hell were you doing anyway? Acting like that! You could have died!"
"I was doing my job-"
"Don't you dare give me that bullshit!" Buck growled. "Your job isn't to get killed! Dammit, Ezra don't you realize what you mean to this team? To me?"
The last two words were whispered and left Ezra feeling stunned.
(~)
Later, as Buck found himself alone with Ezra, he let his eyes roam over the sleeping body of his… His what? His Ezra. That's what. Ezra was his. There was something so familiar about the touch of his hand against Ezra's face, but Buck couldn't remember touching him in such a manner.
Buck let his eyes drift shut with Ezra's hand gripped tightly in his, and he hoped to return to the recurring dream he'd been having for the last three months.
Buck sighed as he was surrounded by a tight warmness that engulfed his whole body. He felt strong, sure fingers in his hair, and he exploded as the man beneath him told him he loved him. Buck had never lost control so quickly before, but couldn't say he was sorry because those were the words he craved from this man for so long. Sure arms wrapped around him and held him. He felt so safe, so loved, that he never wanted to move.
Pushing to his feet, Buck grabbed his lover, pulled him up as well and then to his room. Once there, he climbed on the bed leaned back against the headboard and drew the man into his lap. Buck hadn't often made love in this position because he found it extremely intimate, but for some reason, he didn't feel as though he could be close enough to this man. Buck groaned as he felt a hand wrap around him and begin to pump him.
"No," he said, "not like this. I need to be in you." Buck quickly prepared his lover and reached for a condom, then grabbed his lover's hips and lowered him onto his straining erection. Inch by inch. Reaching up, he took his lover's head in his hands and kissed him as they began to move.
Buck ran his eyes over Ezra's chest, then found himself staring at the steady pulse beating in the Southerner's neck. He felt a stirring in his body as he remembered the taste and feel of that pulse under his lips and tongue. Finally, his eyes continued their journey up Ezra's neck across his sweet lips, and he gave a start when he saw those green eyes watching him. Leaning forward, Buck brushed his lips against Ezra's and was suddenly struck by a sensory overload. For a brief moment, he wondered if he was still dreaming, but as he felt Ezra's lips open, he knew this was real. Very real. In a flash, he remembered every detail of that night, suddenly knew what he had thought to be a dream was, in fact, reality. Suddenly knew that his dream lover was actually his dream lover.
Buck jumped to his feet and backed away from him. "You should've told me," he whispered. "All this time wasted. If you had told me, then I never would have touched Louisa!"
Ezra shook his head and heaved a heartfelt sigh. I'm sorry. You… you didn't remember," he replied. "I… I wasn't sure what to do," he confessed. "But I did tell you-"
"When? I think I would have remembered," Buck snapped, ignoring the sheer of tears in those green eyes.
"That… that da- day in the break room. The same day you told me you were going to ask for her hand," Ezra reminded him.
Buck remembered that day. Remembered how his body reacted to what Ezra said. "I gotta get out of here," he said, then all but ran from the room.
An hour and a half later, Buck sat in Inez's bar nursing the same beer he had since he'd sat down. Closing his eyes, he saw Ezra's face filled with rapture. Saw his eyes nearly black with passion. Saw Ezra's body slick with sweat as he twisted, trying to get closer. Saw them both wrapped around each other. Buck had to stifle his groan as his body reacted to the images in his head.
Running a shaky hand through his hair, Buck opened his eyes, and without really seeing anything, scanned the bar. One man, however, did catch and hold his attention. A man dressed in scrubs. Hospital scrubs.
"Oh, shit!" he swore, jumped to his feet, and threw some money on the table.
I left Ezra alone in the hospital. Running from the bar, he hopped in this truck and rushed back across town.
Once in the hospital lobby, Buck jabbed the elevator button repeatedly trying to get it to hurry. Hearing the ding, he jumped in. "Take the next one," he ordered, as a man tried to get in with him. Reaching Ezra's floor, Buck raced down the hall and threw open the door to his room. "Damnit!" he swore, as he stared at the empty room.
Pulling his phone out, Buck called Chris and had to hold the phone away from his ear as the man started yelling. "I'll find him!" he bellowed. "I'll call you when I do!"
"I should have known better," he whispered. If something happens to Ezra, I'll never forgive myself. "I'll find him," he vowed, fighting the tears that threatened to escape as he stared out the hospital window. "I have to."
(~)
As soon as he was sure that Buck wouldn't be returning, Ezra eased from his bed, dressed, and left. A little later, Ezra sighed as he stretched out and got comfortable on the bed. On his bed. In his house. He knew that he would catch hell from Nathan and the others for leaving but didn't care. He had to leave. Had to get away. And not just from Buck, but from everyone. He needed to do some thinking. Serious thinking.
He loved Buck, had for some time now. He wasn't sure how it happened. All Ezra did know was that one day he looked into those sparkling blue eyes and just knew. He guessed he should have known before because all the signs had been there.
A mere friend is not supposed to make your blood stir or your body tingle from just the barest of touches. One did not feel better because a mere friend walks into a room.
So what do I do now?
This wasn't the kind of decision he wanted to make on his own. No, he needed some help, some assistance. With a wince, he rolled over and reached for the phone. After punching in the number, he waited for someone to answer.
"Yeah?" a sleepy, gruff voice said.
"Hey-"
"Ezra?" the voice said, instantly alert. "What's wrong? You're not at the hospital, are you?"
"No."
"Where are you? Do ya want me to come get ya?"
"Home, and I was wondering if I might come over?" Ezra asked in a quiet voice.
"You don't got to ask. You're always welcome here, Ez."
"Thanks, Vin. I'll be right there."
Thirty minutes later Ezra watched as Vin paced back and forth across the small living room. The undercover agent had just told him everything, from the drunken night to what happened earlier tonight.
Ezra lay with his injured leg propped up on the coffee table and his head resting on the back of the couch.
"Okay, Vin, you can stop pacing for me. I'm getting tired," he told him with a grin.
"You're tired," Vin repeated, with a smile and a small shake of his head. "I'll be right back," he said, then returned carrying a couple of blankets. "Scoot up around and put your leg on the end of the couch."
"Why?"
"Ya can't be too comfortable like that."
Since he wasn't, Ezra did as Vin asked. "Where am I supposed to put my head?"
"Right here." Vin patted his thigh, then stretched his long legs out on the coffee table.
The Southerner looked at the sharpshooter for a long time, then with a shrug, laid his head on Vin's thigh.
"So what are you going to do about Buck?" Vin asked, once they were both comfortable.
"I guess that all depends on him." Ezra knew he wanted Buck to forgive him. Wanted Buck to love him. Wanted them to live happily ever after together. But the only thing wrong with all of it was that Ezra no longer believed in fairy tales. "Doesn't it?"
(~)
Early the next morning, Buck stood in front of one the windows and stared at the sight before him.
Vin's head rested on the arm of the couch and his arm was draped across Ezra's chest. His Ezra. And if that wasn't bad enough, his Ezra's head rested on the sharpshooter's thigh.
If Buck hadn't been half out of his mind with worry, he would have noticed how innocent everything was and would have remembered that Vin had no interest in Ezra other than friendship. But right now all Buck saw was Vin and his Ezra looking all comfy cozy laying there. Together. And he lost it.
Stepping up to the door, he began beating on it, then flew through it before it was even opened all the way.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he bellowed at a sleepy-eyed Ezra.
"Huh?"
"We was sleeping before you rudely interrupted," Vin told him, blinking his eyes.
"You stay out of this, Junior!" Buck warned. "Ezra's mine!" The surveillance expert saw the Southerner perk up at those words. "That's right. You're mine. So let's go!"
"Where?"
"Your place."
"Why?"
"So we can talk," Buck replied and lifted Ezra in his arms, then headed for the door.
"You best not hurt Ezra," Vin warned him. "You call me if ya need me, Ez."
Buck gave him a glare that easily rivaled one of Chris's, then carried Ezra out the door. After placing him in the truck and fastening his seat belt, Buck asked, "You okay?"
"Yes, I'm-"
"Good," Buck said, as he the shut the door, effectively cutting him off. Hurrying around to his side of the truck, he jumped in and they left.
"Why are we going to my place?"
"'Cause JD and Casey are at mine," Buck explained. "Besides, we can be alone and… and talk."
"Buck-"
"Not now, Ezra," he said, interrupting him. "We'll talk once we get to your place." He needed a few quiet moments to put things into perspective. He didn't want to say something he'd regret, and he feared that, with the sight of Ezra in Vin's arms still fresh in his head, he would do just that.
Buck was out of the truck as soon as he cut the engine and standing beside Ezra before the undercover agent could even unhook his seat belt.
"I can walk," Ezra told him, as Buck lifted him in his arms.
"I know," Buck said, pressing his forehead into Ezra's temple, "but I like carrying you."
Ezra felt his heart race at those words and whispered, "So you don't hate me?"
"No! God, Ezra, I could never hate you," the other man reassured him. "Let's go inside, so we can be a little more comfortable when we talk. Okay?"
Ezra didn't trust his voice so he nodded instead, then laid his head on Buck's shoulder.
After Buck kicked the door shut, Ezra reached down and turned the lock.
"Do you need anything?" Buck asked, in a husky voice.
Only you, he thought, but said, "No."
Ezra couldn't help but flinch as Buck sat down on the couch with him still in his lap.
"Are you all right?" Buck asked, as he tightened his hold on him. "Dammit, Ezra, you should still be in the hospital."
"I'm fine. Honest, Buck, I am."
"I'm sorry for the way I reacted," Buck suddenly said. "I can't help but think that if I hadn't overreacted, then you'd still be in the hospital where you belong."
"It's not your fault I left," Ezra told him. Then, lifting his chin, he continued. "Have you ever known me to stay anywhere that I didn't want to be? I was ready to go, so I left." With Buck being so near, Ezra was unable to help himself as he trailed his fingers up Buck's face, then watched as they disappeared in his silky raven hair. He smiled as Buck leaned into the touch. "I'm the one that should be apologizing. I should have told you sooner."
"Let's," Buck stopped and cleared his throat before continuing, "just agree we both made mistakes and leave it at that. Let's agree not to worry about yesterday, but concentrate on you and me. Us. This." Buck brushed the hair from Ezra's brow and traced the shell of Ezra's ear with the tip of his finger.
"Deal." Looking into those sparkling blue eyes, Ezra decided that maybe he gave up on fairy tales a little too soon. After all, he had his very own Prince Charming.
"Good," Buck told him with a sexy grin. "I think we should seal this with a kiss," he whispered as he lowered his head.
Ezra met him halfway and sighed as their lips softly brushed together. He trembled as Buck's mustache teased his upper lip. He moaned as a tongue began teasing his bottom one. Opening his mouth, Ezra met that tantalizing muscle with his own, causing them both to groan and Buck to shift closer. The Southerner couldn't help crying out in pain as Buck unconsciously pressed against his wounds.
"I'm sorry, Ezra," Buck panted, as he planted kisses all over his face.
"It's okay. It was an accident."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Ezra told him. "However, if you really want to make it up to me…"
"Yes?"
"You could kiss it and make it feel better."
"I could do that," Buck said, then once again lifted him in his arms, carrying him into the bedroom and quickly stripping them both. "Now tell Dr. Buck where it hurts?" he asked, in a raspy voice once they were both stretched out on the bed.
"Here," Ezra said, pointing to the bandage on his chest. He then shivered as Buck placed a gentle kiss there.
"Anywhere else?"
"Here," he pointed to his bandaged side, then trembled as Buck kissed the area. "And here," Ezra said, indicating his thigh. He groaned as his thigh was kissed. "Here, Buck," he moaned.
"Where?" Buck breathed.
Ezra grabbed him and pulled him closer, then whispered, "Here." Then took Buck's lips in a searing kiss.
Breaking the kiss, Buck trailed his fingers up Ezra's thigh, across his groin, and wrapped a hand around his shaft, then asked, "Do you ache here?"
The Southerner ignored the pain as he arched into that hand. "Ohhh god, yes!" he moaned.
"Tell me if I hurt you," Buck said, as he stretched out on top of him.
"I don't feel anything except you touching me," Ezra whispered, then gasped as Buck rubbed against him.
Not wanting to hurt Ezra, Buck supported most of his weight on his arms, allowing only enough body contact to drive them both to the brink. Looking at the vision beneath him, he felt tears sting his eyes and his breath catch as he was once again struck by memories of a panting, sweat-glistening Ezra writhing beneath him, green eyes nearly black with passion.
How could he have not remembered this? Feeling the need to say something, Buck whispered, "Ezra-" Then he froze as he heard the Southerner say.
"I love you."
Those three words sent Buck over the edge, which in turn triggered Ezra's release. They moaned each other's names over and over again. When Buck could speak again, he scattered kisses all over the Southerner's face and pledged, "I love you, too."
Rolling over, he pulled Ezra into his arms and was almost asleep when he heard him ask, "What happens now?"
"Well, now Ezra," Buck began, then trailed his fingers across Ezra's cheek, "this is where we get to live happily ever after."
"And the others?"
"They'll have to live somewhere else," he teased, causing Ezra to laugh. "They won't have a problem with us," Buck told him, then continued. "Chris and JD kinda, sorta knew that I liked you. And I take it that Vin knows how you feel about me?"
"And Nathan."
"Nathan?"
"He's practically known from the start," Ezra told him. "That only leaves Josiah," he said in a worried voice.
"He'll be happy so long as you are."
Ezra grinned and said, "So, I guess we can live happily ever after."
"And beyond," Buck replied, with a grin of his own.
The End